Geee its been a while since I made a journal eh?

Anyway, my comms are currently open, you can send a request in here and I will contact you before long about it~

https://forms.gle/u7uirhAVwfDZ64GL9

I wish ya all plenty of bigness for this age the coming year~!

So somehow this thing keeps expiring?

But it should be fixed now, for sure~!

https://discord.gg/snFnt244av

Copying this from my Patreon... because... yeah.

I have been struggling to figure out what to talk about this month.

There's not really anything that is going wrong at the moment. There are some smoldering embers here and there, but no fires from what I can see. That is metaphorically speaking of course. Nothing here has actually burned.

But at the same time... The nice and pleasant moments have been far and in-between as well. Or so it is in my perception at least.



Which I suppose leads me a bit towards my topic for this month.

I am feeling lost and dried up.

There are a lot of metaphors I can use here, and I just might. But one thing after another.

The other day, a certain purple someone said "A creative with encouragement is unstoppable." and I absolutely agree with that. Being hyped up for something helps magnitudes. I doubt I have to tell that anyone.

But I am... not really getting that. Now don't get me wrong, I do absolutely appreciate the few kind words that I am getting every now and then, they are fantastic.

And here is where the metaphors begin.

I am like a desert. I feel so utterly bereft of that kind of stuff that I do not know what to do with it once I actually get it. A few drops will absolutely disappear without any tangible effect whatsoever, and yet, a full on rain has, if anything, the opposite effect of being helpful. The ground is so dried up, so calcified, that it can't actually absorb the water fast enough before its already gone again to flood some poor village that made the mistake of building inside a Wadi.

Another relatively apt comparison would be to say that I am a "child of the dark". I have been living in (emotional) darkness for so long that any kind of light can be blinding to me.



It is very hard not to become self-deprecating while writing this.

"Oooh Coatl, aren't you a bit too old to act like an edgy teen now?" says some voice in the back of my mind. Part of me agrees, I know that I am in a very fortunate situation in general...

Yet why do I feel so unhappy?



I write because the things I want to say should not/are very awkward to be spoken out loud. I publish them so that other people can read them. And then I hope that I find like minded individuals to engage with.

All of you who are reading this are proof that this has worked.

To some extent anyway. The one or two voices I get to hear... Thank you. I really mean it. But at the same time, it only makes the silence around us ring so much louder.



I don't know what I am doing here really. In fact, it might well be that I am just having some kind of meltdown over nothing.

I ask for compliments, for encouragement, for engagement... Looking at the length of this here, it might actually be more begging... a plea for... attention?

And by doing so, I invariably tarnish any kind of response I will be getting following this. "Oh, that's just out of pity now, that's not genuine" the nasty voice at the back of my mind will tell me, "they're just saying it because you put them on the spot."

On some level that is probably true even.

What I want is unprompted encouragement. I want the feeling that people are thinking of me even when they are not directly engaging me at the time. And be it a "Hey I saw <this> the other day and I couldn't help but think of you!" or some variation thereof.

I am aware that this is very entitled of me. To "demand" such things.

To quote a line from the 1976 movie Network: "I'm a human being, god damnit! My life has value!"

I wish I could feel that more.

If you read this far... I am both sorry and thankful for it.

Whoops, forgot to post one for May, anyway, here's June.


AI - Artificial, Abomindable, Abberant, Augmented Intelligence, Ignorance, Idiocy, Ingenuinty - has been a point of contention since...


Well pretty much since we built machines. Even in the age of steam, when industrialisation first became a thing, people like Jules Verne and H.G. Wells were already dreaming up fully automatic steam robots, somehow given intelligence by little more than gears and pistons.


In 1770, the world was amazed by what is called the Mechanical Turk, an automaton that was capable of playing a strong chess game and could even solve chess based riddles.

Of course it was nonsense, the supposed automaton was little more than an elaborate box in which a real human sat and did all the actual playing.


Nowadays AI, like ChatGPT, is very much the same. There is no true intelligence to be found here, even though it may pretend to otherwise, due to the clear language interface it uses. You can "talk" with it, which instantly humanises it, so it totally gotta be intelligent, right?

Its little more than one of those awful automated answering machines which get so often used by insurance companies, or any other kind of company, who have no actual interest of talking to you. All responses are canned and prerecorded, and it only reacts to very specific answers, otherwise it will break down.


ChatGPT is at about the same level, except that it can respond to more general queries, but it is still little more than an Expert System: able to provide information, but unable to put it into new context.


Stable Diffusion, the art "AI" is similar. It is little more than an expert system which throws color at the wall in patterns that are dictated by its knowledge database. It will not create anything by itself, because it can't. It isn't intelligent, it isn't capable of creating new context. It is merely a tool, nothing more, nothing less.

It still requires a human to create any kind of context, and like any tool, it requires a certain level of skill to do so well. Of course the quality of the tool is also exceedingly important.


Even the world's best surgeon isn't going to be able to do a good job if you hand them a potato peeler instead of a scalpel.

Although apparently there was a surgeon kept as prisoner of war in Russian gulags during world war 2 and its aftermath, which did absolutely miraculous feats of medical care using little more than a pocket knife and strings of wire, but that is a grueling story I don't want to get into now.


You know how easily I get sidetracked, especially once I'm this far in into one of my ~~rambles~~ journals.

Funnily enough, thanks to repeated mosquito attacks to my face, I have absolutely lost my train of thought now.


So uhhh... what was I trying to get at?

In my opinion, the worry a lot of people seem to feel about AI is vastly overblown, in fact, I am very certain that it is Artificially Inflated (hah) by those Silicon Valley tech grifters to make their latest scheme seem more impressive than it really is, and to get people who don't know better to buy into it "for fear of being left in the dust", like with so many things that they produce over there.


Though I'm not gonna argue that it is free of issues either. There are ethical and legal concerns that need to have regulations slapped all over them sooner rather than later. The ability to impersonate people by deep faking their voices and faces is a tremendous danger. It can easily destroy lifes, or even cause national incidents.

But that is humans abusing a tool to get an edge on their competition/other humans, and that is an story as old as time. I'm willing to bet money that the very first stone ever knapped by human ancestors was used against a fellow human within 24 hours.


And yes, this is also coming from me having spent much of this month fucking around with both chatgpt as well as picture generation via machine learning.

This stuff, in its current and near-future state, isn't going to steal any jobs. However, it will make some of them easier, and even create entirely new ones. For example, when properly prompted, ChatGPT can easily assist me in setting the stage for my stories. That way I won't end up blowing all my creative juices on the set dressing, before getting to the actually horny stuff that we all are here for.


I have to figure out how to properly integrate it into my workflow, but it should be a good boon.

For now anyway, until they put it behind a paywall.


That said... oh boy... AI is a topic I could talk about for hours. I do consider it a very, very dangerous technology indeed, though not for the same reason that most others think. I don't think that it will go SkyNet on us and try to purge us in nuclear hellfire.

I think it will instead go full Wall-E on us and coddle us to death. It will make so many thinks so easy and convenient that we will unlearn to do even the most basic of tasks because the machine takes care of it for us, and then one day, when the machine inevitably fails, mankind will die.


There is a Great Filter for intelligent life, and we have not, in fact, passed it.

Its called Convenience.



That will be it for now, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Its been a hot minute since the last update hasn't it? I am working on my diligence. It is an ongoing project, like many things.

Either way, this one is... difficult to write. I have attempted it several times now, and not once have I not ended up going off on tangents and rambling so much that I lost my original thread.

I will try to keep it short and concise.

The last five years have been an incredible struggle. Good things have happened, yes, but there were many, many bad things as well. It was so bad in fact that I, and I don't say this lightly, was on the verge of self-harm multiple times.

And its all because of two things. Guilt. And my unwillingness to let go of it.

For five years, I have carried a burden that nobody but myself asked me to carry, nobody. For five years, I have faulted myself for not preventing the fall of the first domino, which would set a chain of events into motion that have harrowed me until the very recent past.
At first the weight was barely noticeable, but with each bad thing that happened, each event that I could somehow tie into this chain, the weight grew until it started to crush and suffocate me.
I sought out professional help. Even escalated it to a temporary stay in a medical facility. In some cruel twist of fate, that actually made it worse. I do not blame the staff or anyone there. They did the best they could. But the corona pandemic was in full swing and a single positive case saw everyone that person interacted with, patients as well as staff, quarantined for a week.
At one point it got so bad that there were only two nurses and one councilor to look after some fifty people for a week. I could not shake the sensation that I was wasting my time there. That it was pointless, that I couldn't be helped with only 30 minutes of counseling a week.

Tangents. Lets get back on track.
I often am told that I appear "very composed" (although the wording more often than not veers into the direction that I "appear emotionless"), but what might seem like a still pond was in fact a swamp; a morass of sorrow. Not a day passed where I did not struggle with tears, where I could be send falling like a house of cards with just the right words.
I was anything but composed, because I kept faulting myself, I kept heaping guilt upon myself, and gorged on the regret of words unspoken, until I could barely hold it anymore.

The solution to it was so simple. Its almost asinine how... trivial it was. And yet it had to be suggested to me by multiple people.
All I had to do was write letters.

Letters to my parents; in which I said all, or at least most of, the things I never said before. Expressed feelings and asked questions which I never had before. All these things will go unanswered, but that is fine. I have accepted that now.
I have accepted that the past cannot be changed, and no amount of regret, guilt, or self-flagellation of whatever form, will change it.
I have accepted that it wasn't my fault. My mother knew what she was doing. She knew that I wouldn't say no, and even if I had, she was a stubborn one. She would have gone through with it anyway. I have acted in best conscience with the information I had at the time. To further chastise myself is pointless, destructive even.
I have accepted my past, such as it is, and while regret will always be with me, I will not carry it anymore.
That fucker can walk, for all I care, if its that hellbent on staying with me.

If you yourself struggle with a similar situation, or know someone who does, I can really recommend to write a letter. Let it all out. Release it from yourself. You will realize things about yourself in these moments of writing.
You do not need to show them to anyone. You do not need to hold onto them. In fact, I strongly recommend that you don't. Throw them in the trash, burn them, dump em in the river. Let go. That is the most important thing.

I am ready to embrace the future now.

Thank you all for staying with me.

Hello!

Due to the recent stress in regards to moving and other events, I have sadly lost track of who had asked for a commission from me.

In order to better help me keep atop of things and keep the stress at maintainable levels I have created this form here: https://forms.gle/u7uirhAVwfDZ64GL9

If you are interested in a commission and have yet to receive anything, then please use the form and I'll get back to you as soon as possible, thank you very much.

Hello there!

It's high time I do one of these again, as a lot has been happening lately.

I am gonna spare you the details of this long and stressful (one might say traumatizing) journey, but the result is that my husband and I are now in the process of moving, which may well take the rest of this month and half of the next one too.

As a result, expect that my uploads are going to be even more sporadic than they are already, which does include the Voreventure as well.

However, once the move is done and we got settled in, I am sure that things will pick up in pace rapidly again.

Until then, keep growing!

So yeah, I remade my patreon and added a discord server to it no less! You can check both of it out here


https://www.patreon.com/JagazCoatl


https://discord.gg/snFnt244av

Okay that headline might have been a bit clickbaity, but either way, it has been brought to my attention that Google will apparently soon crack down on files deemed to be "in violation of their ToS"...
Which most assuredly will cover porn as well.

I hope you guys who use it have some alternatives lined up for it.
We here at CI sure as heck have~!

source:
https://www.techradar.com/news/goog.....personal-files

It has been so many years now that I have been uploading writing to this side now, and I admit that I am amusingly in the dark about what makes my audience (that is you, who is reading this) tick.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I am not entirely oblivious, it is clear to me that most of you enjoy muscle, hyper, macro, transformation and vore.

But I want to know more. I want to know why you come here and read my stuff.

I understand that not everyone is keen to just lay their kinks bare in the comments section of a journal where everyone can read it.

Which is why I have created this form:

https://forms.gle/KqaasZ2pFyLgV1SHA

If you have a few minutes spare, I would immensely appreciate the feedback.

Thank you so very much.

Hello! I'd like to draw attention to the fact that I am once more open for comissions!

The price has risen though, due to the necessities of life. Now it will be 30€ per 1000 words.

I still write the usual everything that you like~

Incredible hugeness, anthros, vore, muscle, macro, did I mention hugeness?

Shoot me a note if you're interested!

a.k.a. We're making shit up as we go along.

Here we go, a journal nobody ever asked for but which I'm going to make anyway.

I understand that I am an influence on some people. Not many, but some. For that I am glad. I feel honored really.
One of my standing tenets in regards to writing so far has been "As long as even one person enjoys it, it was worth the time", and if I managed to inspire and influence people to do their own thing with my writing, then that's even better.

Something something no man is an island. Some people may think that writing is a competition, but its really not. We shouldn't look upon the works of others and be jealous because of what they did, but instead cherish things for those works can enrich all of us.


See what's happening? I've set out to write about my writing style and instead drifted off into unrelated things, but which are hopefully still somewhat logically connected.
In a way, that is exploration in a nutshell.

Now you can take to Youtube and find essays of varying length and quality about this style of writing, and those people will probably do a better job of explaining it than I will.
But I will still add my own two cents, as it adds to the stupendous hoard of knowledge that is available to us.


Now lets get to it.
The name already might clue you in as to what Exploration is. You just set out in your writing and discover things really. When I sit down to write a story, I only have the loosest idea of how it will go.
I generally have a vague destination in mind, a direction to go. Some pointers as to what should happen.
But how we get there, and how those things eventually really play out are up in the air.

This does have, as you may imagine, several advantages and disadvantages.
A big advantage is that you can start writing almost immediately with minimal prep-time. You just sit down and make shit up as you go.
It gives an incredible liberty to things and allows events to develop in a much more natural way. To use a metaphor: You are laying down the train tracks as you go and as the terrain permits, rather than forcing the terrain to conform to your ideas of a railroad.
In my opinion, it leads to - somewhat - more believable characters and events. It is easier to follow the logic since it grew naturally from the circumstances that have been presented, rather than making leaps and bounds just to tick off the stations on the list of events that should happen.
To be super pretentious here, it allows for stuff to be more tense, exciting, and thrilling, after all how can the reader know what happens next when the author themselves didn't know either?

But there are disadvantages, and boy let me tell ya, those are some chonky disadvantages.
A lot of it stems from the whole "Not planning ahead" part really.
As you write, you have to pay incredible attention to what you have already introduced in the story, so that your work remains internally consistent.
Exploration can open up an ungodly amount of plot holes or forgotten story pieces. Its easy to introduce elements that fall completely by the wayside and never get mentioned again despite seeming like a big deal at the time. That is of course not that big of a problem when the story you write is a rather short piece, but as its length increases - and much more importantly the time you work on it - its increasingly likely for such things to sneak into the story.
So I'd recommend that you have a notepad open on the side to add events and characters - and changes to them - as you go along to keep track of things. Which admittedly makes me a bit of a hypocrite because I fucking don't do it.

I instead elect to waste precious hours on rereading all the shit I've already put down instead to make sure I remain somewhat consistent with myself.

An absolute obscene travesty in that regard was my Draconic Dystopia story which I never published where I went around and changed traits of the dragon race several times over. I increased their base density and elevated them from being human-like in weight distribution to be closer to iron. I had to change so many mentions of weights that either the dragons had or were lifting at the time. It really took steam out of writing.

And that's another disadvantage of this style of writing.
You need to have the... proper mindset for it, I suppose. This is probably going to be the least helpful and coherent part in an exploration that was already very light on both things.
While you write, you need to be able to allow your mind to roam and explore ideas. To fully consider the ramifications, the consequences an action could have further down the line, and which other actions it could trigger.
But you are also at the mercy of circumstances. A lack of a storyboard can be a big problem. To use another metaphor: you can easily be rudderless in an ocean of possibility, with no charts, maps or stars to guide you. And woe to you if that sea turns stormy.

In the wake of my father's passing several months ago, things have been very stormy here indeed, which is why I had... have this lul of activity.
Things have simply become uncomfortable, and that is poison to Exploration.

You need to be able to sit down and just let your mind roam.

I hope this was helpful to some of you and raised curiosity on this or familiar topics.

As said, there are a bunch of essays you can go and check out.

This individual desires judgement.

What do you like about my writing? What could I improve?

Please, go ahead. Take five minutes of time out of your day for me. Show me I'm worth that much at least.

You were a little strange at times.
Sometimes we didn't see eye to eye.
In the grand scheme of things, that was fine.
I know that the last few years were hard on you.
That the wound simply could not heal.
No matter how hard you tried.

I admit that I should have been there for you more,
while I pursued my own healing.
I saw the signs.
I should have acted despite what you told me.
I know that you couldn't admit to showing weakness.
For deep at heart, you wanted to be the protector.
You were there for others whenever they needed.
Despite your edges, you were a rock to hold on to.
But time has a way of wearing things down.

I'm sorry.

"What doth thou speaketh off, oh Kwatl?" I hear you ask.

Well, my website coatl-industries.com is currently undergoing a bit of a revamp. It will be back soon!

Hai!
So yeah, as the title says, I'm opening for commissions. Unlike previously, there will be no set theme for these ones.

But if you watch me, you probably know where my specialities lie, so come at me with all your growthy, hypery, muscly, vorey, sizedrainy, absorby, multi megamacromonsterohgodpleaseno ideas.

The only limit I'd impose is that its somewhere between 2 to 3k words (30-45$). If you've seen my recent uploads, its around that length.

So yeah, shoot me a note if you want!

Hokay, here we go!

I'm opening for a couple of slots, probably around 5 or so.

A reminder of what you can expect:
-Brute/Feralification (Dumbification optional)
-Muscle growth
-Hyper endowments
-Macro treatments
-Someone to fondle you while you get big(ger) (can be one of your friends!)
-You can be any gender! Even undergo a genderchange if you want.

The length of these stories will be around 2k words, costing 30$ and contain a single scene in which your chosen character receives the treatment, followed by an small epilogue (of your choice, if you feel like it!).



Toss me a note if you're interested~

Soo yeah, I'll be opening a couple of slots for that d.Evolution stuff in the next six or seven hours.

What you can expect:
-Brute/Feralification (Dumbification optional)
-Muscle growth
-Hyper endowments
-Macro treatments
-Someone to fondle you while you get big(ger)
-You can be any gender! Even undergo a genderchange if you want.

The length of these stories will be around 2k words, costing 30$ and contain a single scene in which your chosen character receives the treatment, followed by an small epilogue (of your choice, if you feel like it!).

Once I open, I'll will go with a First Come, First Served approach. Payment will be due on completion.

And for the rest of the world its Friday.

You know writing got gud when you walk away with a mild trauma.

So I'm kinda curious now.
Would there be people interested in getting quickies about their characters getting a little bit of devolvement going on?
Turned into huge hunky feral monsters?

Just asking for... reasons <.<

Haaaaaaaah I swear this fucking game was so ahead of its time

So these are some drunken ruminations that I shared with Daygo. Because ya know, that's how drunkeness works.
ANYWAY. Onwards.
I have often mused that social media, and by extension the internet, is a toxin in our society. That it stifles and slowly kills what we are capable of.

Why is that, you may wonder? Well, there is one... "universal" (far as I am concerned) true currency. The most valuable thing that a human being can give. And that is Attention.
When you have another person's attention. You have the most valuable thing at their disposal. The one finite ressource. Time. You have their time, and its yours to waste. It makes us feel great, doesn't it? To know that we're the center of attention.
It's how celebrities go by. Its how we know our shit is great, when people pay attention to it.

And now we live in a time where our attention is contested like never before. Twitter, facebook, buzzfeed, telegram, skype, all those things, all those bleeps. Everything asks for, nay demands, clamors, salivates for your attention.
Everything wants you to generate clicks, to provide a response that goes beyond "Cool" or "nice". Do you even put in the extra effort to put a fullstop after that nice? Do you pay enough attention to make it into a full sentence?

Or do you crave your own shot at attention? Do you respond to the picture your artist friend send you, the picture or story they slaved over for like 20 hours, with a "nice", only to follow it up with a "but here's what happened in my day"?

I would be a hypocrite if I said that I never had done something like that. Heck, I crave attention like everyone else does. It is after all more valuable than money, more valuable than food. Perhaps even more valuable than air to breath or blood to live. After all... imagine you lie there, dying, bleeding, suffocating. But someone is watching you. Someone stands there and sees how you breath your last. Your death was witnessed by someone. Someone recognized that you existed. That you ended. Its nice to know that you didn't just disappear into a dark hole to be forgotten by the world, is it?

Some wise person once said "The only person you have to learn to live with is yourself." and I gotta say, it's a pretty easy saying. So easy to repeat, and yet... very difficult to internalize, isn't it? This whole idea that the only person who has to be satisfied, who has to be pleased by what you did is yourself. That nobody owes you any attention. That even, once you created your Magnum Opus, your life's work, the very culmination of your existence, you are not entitled to anyone's attention but your own's.

It is even more difficult to imagine something like that as an Artist. A person who, by -my- definition, gives pieces of themselves to the world. We cut chunks of our being away and present them to the world. We take the clay of our being, pour our imagination, our psyche into forming this clay, spend valuable amounts of our finite time into molding this clay until it took shape, and present it to the world at large. "This is part of me. Please, cherish it. For I have given it selflessly."

And that is in the end what we do. We give selflessly. For is it not a selfless act, to put to words what I could easily think? The story, that I can easily play out in its fullest, experience and enjoy in the freedom of the 'mental cinema', and yet place, nay struggle to confine into the space of words. We can not expect to receive attention for what we give to the world. Despite all our work, we are not entitled to any of the precious attention that any human being craves.

Thus, my drunken and much interrupted ramblings finish with the thought of "Learn to appreciate what you have done by yourself." In the end, you are the only one who can fully appreciate what you have done.
Maybe one day, I learn to live with myself.

If anything, take this from this: learn to pay attention to yourself. Look upon what you did in the past. Compare it to where you are now. Appreciate yourself for all the way you have come.

Thank you. Thank you for paying attention to my drunken rambling. Even if I don't show it, it does mean a lot to me.
Even if my sober self wouldn't admit it. Nothing scares me more than to be forgotten. I want to know that I have existed. That I made... whatever impact I did on this world.

For this I thank you.

The time has come again my friends. I'm looking for some prey to devour in the new year!

This will most likely be for a quicky I'll be writing with my dear love Darius.
So expect two huge and magnificent predators to take care of you~

If you are interested, post your ref in the comments and mention how you would like to be devoured!

Oral, anal, cock vore or unbirth! Even more exotic stuff like pec and breastvore, or size drained and shrunk to nothingness, we'll do it all~

Now don't be shy and leave these gods hungry~

How important it is that we get more hyper muscle charrs. Be it male, female or herm. Preferably all of them in a giant clusterfuck pile.