Well..... If I haven't told you yet through msn, the chances of me being kicked outta my house are almost imminent... and being an inexperianced driver and also looking at a 16+ hour long trip in a vehicle I don't even know that would make it plus the fact that I don't have a cellphone and very little money. Yeah.... i'm truly scared and worried and could use a large amount of support at the moment if not maybe a place to stay along the way.... i'm going to be going through Oklahoma, Arkansas, Mississippi, and my final destination is Alabama.... so wish me luck guys.

Within the past couple of weeks Nero has had a form change. Along with me. He has readily accepted my jackal/naga form yet why am I having such a hard time accepting his Leopard form? I know he's the exact same furson whom I fell in love and am still in love with... yet why does it still bug me? Another one of my friends had a form change from a wolf into a fox yet I did not have a problem with that... Am I truly that against any other species than canines? Or is it perhaps since he has his form changed that i'm afraid that the furson inside is changing as well... Changing into something I don't know anymore? I'm just scared is all... Perhaps I need some advice or closure... I don't know but I need something... *whines loudly*

I finally am going to see  neromyrwindstrike !!!! I'm incredibly excited and just bought the plane ticket today! But this is all too good to be true... I can't believe i'm actually going to see him... *squees and wags tails excitedly* I'm leaving October 4th and am going to stay a week with him. ^^ OMG!!!

Well obviously you can kinda tell what this journal is about so I will just get to the point. I have recently been mated to the lovely  neromyrwindstrike He makes me incredibly happy and I only wish to make him happy.

I can tolerate the word as long as it's used to describe a lifestyle...

Though I just don't like it being used in spite and to describe the entire gay population... In those circumstances i will accept and tolerate the usage...

Read my last journal if you wish to know what I was thinking first. And the word.

Okay... I've heard a lot of curse words even beyond the normal... but there is just one I can't tolerate...

Fag... that one puts me over the edge instantly... in fact just saying that word has put me on edge again...

*takes deep inhalations of air holding it in for a moment before slowly exhaling*

Alright i'm better... but I just think it's incredibly derogatory and I never want it used in my presence... and if you say it just to mock me right now I will hunt you down, rip off your head and shit down your neck... *snarls*

*pant pant* Though one of the sad things is I hate when gays use that word for themselves... it's like they are ashamed at who and how they are...

On that note I must compliment anyone for having the courage enough to stand up and say "I am gay" public wise... Especially in modern day society.

But getting back on track... I just can't stand that word and it makes me both sad and pissed off it is used...

(oh and P.S... this kind of format is how my journals are going to be from now on... makes things easier to read I think)

Life is a journey and the eventual road ends in death. I am not afraid of death and have come to accept that it is as natural as breathing. But i'm afraid to take a step forwards in that journey because i'm afraid of ending up hurting people and separating myself from them. I know life moves on and if I stop it will be one hell of a time trying to catch up... But being pushed you gotta make choices that you don't want to. AKA taking a step... Life is always the pursuit of love and happiness at least for me it is. And not knowing what makes you happy or what you love makes it hard to move. Though all I know or think I know right now Is I love some people and don't want to do anything to hurt them. And I am pretty sure these people know who they are.

well.. my birthday is long gone (about six months) and I thought a journal was due.

Well, I tried going out and living on my own, or at least with a roommate. But since I didn't have a job it kinda got hard to pay rent. I was always hungry and had no energy and slept throughout the entire day becuase of that. So I had to move back in with my parents. Though there are some plus sides. For one I don't have to worry about being hungry. Another one is I now have almost unlimited acces to the internet! (Woot woot!!! XD), and I now have people who actually do productive things once again in my life. So that should help me be more productive.

well. I'm planning on going to at least two conventions this year. I'm planning on going up to St. Louis and meeting up with  ez-bone and going to the one in chicago and the one in tennesse. It should be fun. I don't know whether i'll do a badge of fursuit. They both have there plusses.

Oh and on an artistic note. I'm planning on just drawing when I can in my free time that i'm not looking for a job. So I hate to say this, but expect some really shitty art in your submissions list sometime soon. I'm just giving you a warning.

But, for a journal I think that's a pretty good length. Alright if you've read this far I thank you. Take it easy everybody!

YAY YAY YAY YAY!!! MY birthday is coming up real soon! (the eighth) and its an important one too!!! (it's my eighteenth) I'm already graduated from school so I can move out as soon as I turn!!! YAY!!! And I'll be able to get a tattoo, cigarettes (gross), and my personal favorite!!! PORN!!! lol!!! *sigh* those will be the days

I really should come back on here. but with my lack of artistic skills and no way to improve them. I take that last statement back. I get discouraged too easily. That's the problem. (plus eight hundred and fifty-one new messages is a little intimidating) It's making me think of giving up this site. If anyone sees a point to me coming back, than this would be the time to speak up. If not than take care.

P.S. None of the messages are from anybody. They all are either submissions or journals. So obviously i'm not wanted.

Well, I'm ungrounded from everything so that is a plus. I got a really cool idea not to long ago. Though I couldn't draw this to save my life. I want to see krystal (off of starfox) drawn into Princess Ailish's first outfit. (off of sudeki) I could attempt it, but I would just butcher anything I draw.

Um... I am in pretty big trouble right now, and I don't know when I am going to be able to get on the internet. I will get on whenever possible. or times that my father and school may let me on. But it is going to be a lot less. I am going to do all that I can to fix this problem really soon. So still leave me comments, and I will reply to them at the best of my ability. take care everybody.

I just noticed this but I have 201 pageviews!!! I appreciate the help from everybody. It is especially hard to get pageviews if you don't have that great of artwork. So I'm appreciating the little steps! And thanks!

Well, I want one anyways. The one I have I did myself. But it sucks!!! I look around and almost everyone has a cool avatar except for me. I know I'm whining. But I will think you are awesome forever if anyone does one for me!!! Please?

You don't have to... I just felt like asking anyways.

Okay, I decided to do this. I will answer three questions to the best of my ability. So ask me anything.

She looked at me with pleading eyes. So different from her previous bestial wild looks. Thank god!!! She's back! My body physically was breaking down, and with such little sleep I was mentally breaking down as well. She was huddled over in a corner looking like she would start bawling at any moment. "Cecilia?" I softly called. Going over I put my arm arund her shoulder trying to comfort her. "Cecil-" Her face immediately changed back to that face of pure bestial lust. Oh shit!!!
That was just a little preview. It didn't even scratch the surface!!! But that is one of the things in store.