As in, today was the last day of me working at the temporary position I was filling. I knew from the get-go that I'd only be there for 6 weeks, but I didn't think it would fly by that quickly.

God, but the work was great. The people I worked with were amazing, the office was really bright, open, and air-conditioned oh god it was like a 100 degrees every day this summer.

They threw me a little party and got Chinese and everything. I'm gonna miss em'.

I have only just realized that the way I eat noodles is apparently the most disgusting thing most people have seen. I grab my fork, JAM IN IT to the noodles, and take a great heaving pile. I shove as much of it in my mouth as possible, making heavy breathing noises as I try to regulate the burning temperatures in my mouth, which apparently sounds like disturbing panting, the noise you would hear when a someone breathes loudly into the phone. I also, without my knowing, slurp it incredibly loudly, as in, "Bitch I can hear you eating from upstairs" loud. Even when I am not at the moment cramming my face, I still breathe heavily, and I pant with my mouth open.

People tell me that watching this event take fold is one of the most disturbing things they have seen.
Also, not fat. Actually, on the borderline between healthy and underweight.

I was perfectly straight before I came to this site, and now I'm posting m/m fapfiction for 40k on /tg/.

EXPLAIN.

Oh goooooood.

That voice.
That face.
THAT VOICE.

This man has officially, made me gay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWCVhGzrAT0&feature=player_embedded

A link, if you have not experienced the man.

I went out to meet some new neighbors, chatted them up, had a decent time, and then tripped into their (stone) stairs while I was leaving. The skin on my knee is hamburger, the front of my toe is one big flap now, I have two long cuts on my inner left arm, and there are chunks missing from my left palm.

Ow.

Fucking.

Ow.

All right, so here I am just walking along, taking my dog on a walk. When all of a sudden a Foxtaur walks up and starts yapping at my dog, and then tries to mount him. I push the fucker off, and he/she (god I don't know what you call Hermaphrodites, I think they're teaching the "Politically Correct" term in schools today) starts yelling at me about how I'm "oppressing" he/she/it. So I tell it to back the fuck away and stop trying to rape my dog, and the fucker sprays me with musk. Smell like thee different types of ass, and I had to throw out my shirt. I still smell like angry Foxtaur, and every taur I see now gives me shit about it.

Fucking Foxtaurs.





(If you know what this was inspired by, I applaud and salute you)

I have been reading through JoJo's Bizzare Adventure for a while now, and just now got to end of the Stardust Arc (If you don't know what it means look it up it is quite possibily THE MOST WTF arc of anything ever) and got to the part where Josuke is introduced. And from the beginning of this arc, I had my worries. A new scanning/translating team had started, and while the scan quality of Stardust wasn't the best (On some pages, maybe every 1/20 the quality was noticably bad compared to the rest, and all the pages had a yellow, aged look) but at least the dialogue was spot on. And then... http://www.onemanga.com/Jojo%27s_Bi.....enture/267/06/

WHAT THE FUCK.

While I was gone (A long dark period in which I had nothing in the way of internets, xbawks, television, etc) I decided to take up a hobby to deal with my crippling boredom. So I took up 40k, which I had already been interested in fluff-wise, but never thought to play the actual game. I bought a starter pack, and gave the Orkz to a friend (In the process of painting those for him) and began playing. Now, I've only played 2 games of it, and I bought the starter set month ago. But I finally have a decent sized, legal army, and by the end of August I should have my entire army bought, if not painted. Now, while tabletop wise I suck, I got used to painting pretty easily. In the process of doing some Death Company (I play Blood Angels, which is basically angry bright red Warrior Monks Knight Templar Sparkly Vampires IN SPESS WITH NIPPLES SCULPTED ONTO THEIR ARMOR) And while I have yet to buy any models with sculpted power-nipples, I actually really enjoy painting them. The color scheme is reversed. With normal Blood Angels, the paint scheme is primarily Red, with a few accents of black on details like the Imperial Aquila or any skulls you may see. On Death Company, the primary color is Black, with a few red accents and lots of bling. I thought they would be rather dark and dull, but once i layed down the base coat, they actually really pop. They have a myriad of tiny details like bright red gems hanging from gold chains, beaten up old scrollwork hanging from everywhere, sculpted wings to paint in a bright stone color. It's been fun experimenting with washes and glazes, and their color system is easier to remember then MAROON WITH HIGHLIGHTS OF MAGENTA BLENDED INTO A SUBTLE LILAC. I'm surprised about how patient I can be with this. When I draw, I spend no more than an hour at a time, and by the end I start getting really bored. When I picked up my first box of Marines, I spent 2 hours looking at all the bitz and filing down the joins so they fit better, and waiting for glue to dry, and I was smiling like a motherfucker the whole time, And that's not even accounting the multiple thinned down coats of paint you have to use if you want your colors to look good! Can't just apply it straight out of the pot, no.

TL;DR I have become Teh Gay for Warhams and shoutan pointan Mehrens.

Look in the previous journal posted months ago about how I would upload some moar shit tomorrow.
And all the journals like that.
I think.

I think I am a horrible liar and I can never keep myself to a clear-cut upload schedule. I have drawn like a 100 (decent, as in your eyes would not BURST INTO FLAMES OF MANY COLOURS upon viewing) pics but I never upload anything.

I am lazy. And I can never upload even when I think I should.


BUT ON THE OTHER HAND I JUST GOT A PUG AND HE'S ADORABLE AND TINY AND MY CAT FUCKING HATES HIS GUTS.


TL;DR CAPSLOCK AND BAWWWW MOAR NEWS AT 11'

I seem to have uploaded like a motherfucker today.
4 submissions in about the same 10 or so minute time frame pleases me.

I shall upload moar tomorrow.

Until I run out. At which point I will continue to draw.
And upload.

LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER.

I hope you can forgive me.
I think I've said BACK! about half a dozen times (which is half a dozen too many in my opinion) and I keep getting sidetracked by some stupid bullshit, and I keep killing things with my technology challenged ways. But seriously.
I am back.
I am drawing again.
And I will upload like a motherfucker.
Like a motherfucker you hear me.

Holy smokes that sure is weird.
And look all of it is 40K related that shouldn't be surprising unless I forgot to tell you that I'm a massive Emprafag.

Old woman falls
"Oh help I seem to have fallen sexily and cannot get up."
She uses her life-alert necklace to call 911.
Instead of a sexy young paramedic she gets an old geriatric man.
In a nurse outfit.
He pops a boner pill, and an hour later they have creaky old-person sex.
The old man breaks his shins/back trying to lift her for a kinky position.
Then they both have heart attacks.

The End.

Your eyes are open.

Wear no disguise for me

Come into the open

When it's cold outside

Am I here in vain

Hold on

to the night

There will be

No

Shame

Always, I wanna be with you

And make believe with you

And live in

HARMONY HARMONY OH LOVE

This should not be surprising but it is.
Fuck.

Everyone knows hair-cuttery right? Just a (mildly girly) place to get a haircut. So, me, hair going down past the bottom of my neck, decide to get a trim. Nothing major, I look best with long-ish hair, and like an absolute retard with short hair. So, I go in, get a seat, and the woman asks me what I want. She was chinese, and spoke like the worst stereotype I had ever seen. "Take of grasses time to cut hair by ear". I tell her, I just want a haircut like the one I have, but maybe 4 inches shorter. I even have a picture for reference. "Like this" I tell her.
"Ok" she responds, mangling even that somehow. So, I take my glasses off, and trust her to cut my hair like I told her. Without my glasses, I'm blind as a bat. 10 inches from my face, stop gets hella blurry. So, close my eyes, *snipsnipsnipsnip*.
Ten minutes later (Awfully long for a trim, I thought), she tells me to put my "grasses" on and check whether I like it. I put them on, take a look in the mirror, and almost scream. She cropped the hair on the back of my head almost to the skin, and on the sides and front gave what could only be described as a mangled bowl-cut. "This hair style for baby" she says. "But you put gel on and sweep to side, look good yeah."
I pretty much freak right there, tell her that wasn't at all what I want, that where the hell does she think she can get away with pulling bullshit like that, not listening to a customer at all, etc. So, the manager comes, asks me whats wrong, tell her that I asked for "this", showing her the picture I brought for reference (What my hair was when I FIRST got the haircut, before it grew damn long). She takes a look, tells the other lady to go back...somewhere while she talks to me. She salvages what's left of my hair into an almost passable look, and I got it for free.
TLDR, Chinese Lady doesn't give me the haircut I asked for, I bawww, get another haircut free.

I think I forgot to mention this while I was in Iceland, but the younger generation is shockingly racist. Now, being visibly white-as-fuck blonde guy with Icelandic features, most people when meeting me during my frequent visits think of me as Icelandic, and not American. I usually don't correct them, because then lots of them get nasty. Multiple times when I would was talking to folk around the 17-26 age...area, whenever Americans were brought up, the general consensus was that we are all, "Fat greedy fucking pigs coming to Iceland and buying stuff because the economy is crap." Even walking down the street, I would hear CHILDREN talking about the Jewish as if they were all hooknosed money grubbing demons. And hell, the kids are equal opportunity. The few Irish I saw were treated horribly behind their backs, called "drunks, the lot of em, Red headed fags/dykes, Ginger Potatoe Fuckers" and all sorts of other lovely stuff. And most surprisingly of all, the group that the majority of the Icelandic youth hate the most are the Polish. In relatively recent times, there has been a relatively large influx of Polish immigrants. And they are seen in Iceland as the stereotypical American views a Mexican as. "No good dirty border hoppin' job stealin' woman stealin' monsters, the LOT OF EM!"
I really hate this, not just because RACISM IS BAD GUISE, but because when I was younger I viewed Iceland as this really idyllic place. Sorta how the average weeaboo thinks that Japan is glorious Nippon heaven.

I was at a pleasure to learn that in the UK, apparently a TV "license" is required to own a functional, receiving television in your home, that most stores will send data of purchases, (like say, a tv cable) and the most interesting piece of all? These licenses are half off for the legally blind.

Neglected to post this, but 3 days ago my old scanner went kaput after a blackout (The third blackout in two weeks.) Thankfully, a friend had one he doesn't use, so I'll be able to upload by Christmas.

Oh yes I'm back, after an off-and-on art hiatus, I'm drawing up a storm in a new theme.
I've moved on from creepy-ass robots and pikachu sex (It was only once don't look at me like that.) to military-uniforms inspired by the nazi's and a (sketchy) attempt at a comic.
Coming to a gallery near you.

So I gots the Borderlands. It plays well, and is a fuggin' blast. Now, I need some peeps to mess around with in co-op. I play Roland, any of you guys play this?

I don't know how I did it, but I messed up my wrists (both of them) badly enough that this typing is an absolute bitch (ow fuck ow fuck) and that drawing is almost impossible, with the pain put on them.
I slipped, should have fallen on my back but my hands (arms were straight, and sticking out behind me) landed first, and wrenched both shoulders, and now my wrists hurt to move.

I have finally gotten TF2 (Victory Dance) and am in SERIOUS need of some coo' friendly peeps to game with. Just send me a friends request (ComradeBroseph, or Comrade Broseph fuck I don't know which one try both tell me which works.)
I plan on playing Medic, Heavy, and Pyro.

It goes basically like this.
A suburban Neighborhood family, in a time period that is a blend of Post Vietnam Atomic Family, with 1950 sensibilities and whatnot...
The characters are more cartoonish and exaggerated than the attention to anatomy I usually portray, so it's been interesting thus far.
The quietly neurotic Domestic mom, working herself to the bone for a family that hardly appreciates her and kids that she's worried to death about.
An angry Nam' Vet father, disappointed that his only son hasn't shown much initiative or drive, and saddened by the fact that there aren't any "Real Men" anymore, and that many of his close friends died in Vientnam.
Then there's the WW2 survivor Grandfather, slowly succumbing to undiagnosed Alzheimers, thinks that the quiet suburban neighborhood is a Trench in France, and is tormented by the fact that the "quiet kind old man" next door is actually a Nazi War Criminal in hiding, but no one will believe the "Crazy old Man"
I haven't thought of the kids yet.