Hey, guys!

Amazing news! I was knew about it from above week but only now I can officially confirm it...

I'VE GOT A NEW JOB!!!

Today I just signed a contract for 3 month of trial period with Starbucks and I'm gonna start my job there already on June 1. Also, lockdown in my country seems to end as with this Friday everything including restaurants and cafes is gonna be opened.

I really hope that third lockdown in my country will be the last one. Even though, in my country still less than half of people are vaccined, it doesn't change the fact more and more people get their vaccines. I've already got my first one on May 11 (I'm 31 if anything). The second one's gonna be on June 15. My mom is already after two vaccines and she's OK.

The end of this whole coronamess is only a matter of time...

Hey, guys!

Currently I seek for another artists I can buy a comic commission at theirs. I'm asking you for your help 'cause I don't feel I'm able to find them by myself and I don't wanna be disappointed when it finds out an artist is not for me.

This is the list of things I expect:

- Works should look like about this https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....r/640064/Rthur and this https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery...../640081/Flappy (I mean mostly lineart. Shading and backgrounds isn't a big priority.).
- An artist does NSFW content or at least is able to make a naked (male) character where at least a butt can be visible.
- An artist does both human and anthro characters.
- An artist does both male and female characters. However, I don't care about female characters in nude so much (my female OC is topless sometimes and nothing more than that).
- One page (6 panels) in color can cost 80-100 bucks.

I realize with such an expectations it may be a difficult task for you but I believe it's not completely impossible. Good luck anyway!

My Brazilian friend,  thosekidsnextdoor101 just showed me a trailer of the brand new movie, Hotel Transylvania 4... or rather two trailers. One for US and another one for his country, Brazil. In US trailer Griffin's (The Invisible Man's) nudity is completely covered, while exactly the same scene with him looks completely different in Brazilian one where suddenly showing his naked butt isn't a deal at all. Trailers are here:

https://youtu.be/7AP86CYeR30?t=115 - US Trailer (The time is already set)
https://youtu.be/jDwuNFfGj9Q?t=88 - Brazilian Trailer (The time is already set)

I wish, I could say I'm surprised but... not quite. I guess as the trailer has been made also for TV, I think the trailer has been censored because, at least in US, TV standards are more strict if about showing nudity in cartoons for kids than cinema ones. However, seems like, at least in Brazil, such a problem doesn't exist.

Whatever the reason is, it doesn't look good.

Recently, I discovered about the creator of Rocko's Modern Life and Camp Lazlo the facts I wish, I had never heared about. During making Rocko's Modern Life his first wife committed suicide and during making Camp Lazlo his second one divorced him... 😨

I'm pretty sure Joe would have a bigger success as cartoonist if not that tragedy and lack of luck in his love life. This is one of those things when we can say our childhood has been destroyed. 🙁

I hope the guy is doing OK now...

Hey, guys!

I really wish, I had never anymore have to feel worse only because the country I live. Unfortunately, now I'm dealing with such a feeling again. Today I accidentally saw THIS and I felt like I wanna vomit:

https://sta.sh/02a5wi7twk47
https://sta.sh/01lnak2zsct6

If anything, link to this rank you have here: https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/.....ience-ranking/

As you can see, my home country has "honorable" 50th place on the ranking with 53 countries which means... my situation is very shitty. 🙁 While on many countries the pandemic actually has started to end, my country is one of those ones the pandemic seems to have no end and it's getting worse and worse.

My country have a couple of elements which gives it such a deadly combo. First, in government of my country is a bunch of idiots who prefer to attack the opposition instead of fighting with coronavirus for real. Second, my country has the British variant of SARS-CoV-2 which isn't a big surprise for me as I know in the UK people from my country are the biggest minority there. Also, my country's dealing with this variant the most. Third, a bunch of "responsible" people who avoid of wearing mask even in public transport 'cause they think it doesn't help, it reduces their freedom or they think there's no coronavirus at all and I'm pretty sure many, MANY people in my country think this way.

Every day I'm in the city, I have to see at least a dozen of people who wear mask under their fucking noses which doesn't make any sense as it's like you're not wearing mask at all or even without mask. Also, I can't even ask those idiots to put a mask on their face as I just want to be safe among them 'cause there's always a risk... they'll punch me for that. Unfortunately, this is how it actually looks in my country. Of course nobody controls that!

Currently in my country we already have the third lockdown, even though the second one didn't even end for good. I almost have no money and seems like I'll remain jobless much longer than I thought. My dad and bro who works for my dad, still may lose their cafe. I've already started to prepare myself this year may be another one taken out from my life just like the previous one.

I'm writing this 'casue I can't pretend anymore everythnig's fine at me. NO, IT'S NOT FINE! 🙁

Hi, guys!

Imagine for a long time you believed in something only to learn on the very end that... you've been lied to for all that time! 😲 This is what happened to me yesterday when somebody on DA told me the truth behind DuckTales reboot's Don Karnage and it's not just a rumor but an actual confirmation from Frank Angones, the co-creator of DuckTales 2017 himself...

As you know, I'm kinda obsessed if about Don Karnage so I wouldn't be myself if I hadn't written this journal entry. I needed to make some research before writing it and this what we have for now. First, these Frank's tweets from March 8:

https://twitter.com/FrankAngones/st.....70944240615424
https://twitter.com/FrankAngones/st.....70106726187009

Pay attention on the sentence where he's talking about "covering Baloo’s disappearance, the fate of the original Don Karnage, and Shere Khan’s latest venture". See? Maybe Frank didn't say that directly but with this sentence he actually confirmed Don Karnage from TaleSpin and Don Karnage from DuckTales 2017 are... DIFFERENT CHARACTERS! 😱

Also, at Disney Wiki's on Fandom where we have Don Karnage, in his Trivia section we can read "According to Francisco Angones, Don Karnage in the DuckTales reboot is not the same Don Karnage, but someone who is taking on the legacy title" and I have no doubt it has been written after Frank's recent tweets about him. You can check that info here:

https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Don_Karnage

I believe Frank kept us waiting with these news almost 'til the end of the show (just yesterday [March 15] we've got the very last episode of the whole series) but that guy who told me about them, claims it's more like the creators didn't know from the beginning will Don Karnage be THAT Don Karnage or just his successor with the same name like it eventually turned out in this case.

Anyway, thanks to these revelations, some things in the series have been finally explained. 😉 For example, we could be concerned Don Karnage isn't older while Kit and Molly are already an adults. Now it makes sense as we know he's just the original Don Karnage's successor. Another thing is completely different crew of the Air Pirates we see in DT's reboot. Now such a things like Mad Dog or Dumptruck's absence are justified as it turned out even their boss himself is absent as well. XD Finally... Jim Cummings! 😉 I hope you, guys will feel a big relief when you realize he's actually never been replaced by anyone in the role of his character and instead of new voice of Don Karnage we just have a voice of a brand new character who's just a Don Karnage's namesake. XD

After such a hot news I felt destroyed from the inside like I've learned about secret I should never know about. 😵 I have mixed feelings. I feel a bit of relief 'cause it turned out Jim Cummings has never been replaced in the role of "his" Don Karnage and kinda disappointment 'cause eventually, the only TaleSpin characters who got their cameos in DuckTales 2017, are Kit and Molly and if we're a purists, not quite as we've actually got their adult versions. Sure, I realize while DuckTales is in modern times, TaleSpin has its action in... 30's of the 20th century but then Kit and Molly might as well very old or even dead. Not even to mention Baloo, Becky, Louie, the original Don Karnage, Shere Khan, etc. are dead for sure. XD Anyway, Kit and Molly are "only" an adults here instead.

Well, maybe it's even better Don Karnage didn't get his reboot yet. I personally prefer to get an actual reboot of TaleSpin instead of placing its characters into DuckTales's one. There's still some hope 'cause reboot of Darkwing Duck is already confirmed. Maybe some day TaleSpin will get its turn too... 🙂

So we've just got a new trailer of DuckTales 2017 with adult Kit, adult Molly and, of course, Don Karnage and imagine... I'm totally not hyped (of course I didn't want to watch it as I don't need any spoilers as well). 😒 I'm gonna explain you here why...

Let's say maybe it's good the season 3 of the series is gonna be the last one 'cause honestly, I'm really sick and tired by using DuckTales reboot by Disney to pretend they care about TaleSpin with giving Don Karnage a one episode per season and in the final one with giving us an adult Kit and Molly as well. Still wondering what do I mean? Just stay tuned with me, guys...

I have a proof Disney actually don't care about TaleSpin and no, it's not about they've announced a reboot of Darkwing Duck as I think this cartoon deserves a one for sure. I rather mean... mobile games. For example, we have Darkwing Duck characters in Disney Heroes and Disney Sorcerer's Arena (we can even see Darkwing Duck himself on the game's trailer). Similar thing with characters from Chip n' Dale: Rescue Rangers who we can see in Disney Emoji Blitz and again in Disney Sorcerer's Arena. Does have any of games I've mentioned, at least a one TaleSpin character? NO! 🙁

If you think I'm wrong, don't hesitate to let me know about it...

BEFORE YOU READ!

This journal is about my autistic friend and a serious issue he has to deal with because of this disorder. I wrote this one also in his name because he's rather unable to explain by himself what actually happens to him he behaves so strange. Not just because he's autistic but also because he's not good in English like he says (he's a French). Anyway, he really wants to be understanded and as I'm his friend, I'm gonna help him with this. I'm sorry there's a lot of text but I wasn't able to explain his problem without just skipping things which I think they're very important to completely understand his case so if you have no time to read the whole thing, better to not start it but instead find some time for it, read with understanding and I very recommend to leave a comment only then. Don't be afraid to ask me if there's something you can't understand.

Thank you...

---

Hey, guys! Today I'm gonna talk about the owner of account  Welcome_to_JollyVille, Kevin. Why am I introducing him this way with using his real name instead of saying "I'm gonna talk about Welcome_to_JollyVille" simply like I usually do when I'm talking about someone from here and DA. Well, if you read my whole text, you'll understand why...

Kevin is a 22-year-old French guy. He's a pretty good artist and of course, one of my best friends I've ever met in my life even though I've never met him IRL. In his profile he has written he's autistic... and this the most important thing in the story I'm gonna tell you about him. I'm autistic too but while I'm in the mildest part of the spectrum also known as Asperger's Syndrome (currently specialists don't use this name to avoid misleading people with making them think autism and AS are two different things while both of them are technically the same), his autism is much worse which means he has to deal with problems I don't have to.

Autism is a pesky beast with many different faces and people with this disorder are very different between each other, even though they may have at least a few things they're common. That means even I already was awared Kevin is autistic, I couldn't help him and understand why his behavior is so strange... until now...

Recently probably I've finally identified the source of problems with his behavior. The answer is... his fursona, Jolly the Lizard! Now you may think "WTF?!? What the hell are you talking about? That cute lizard guy is the main reason of Kevin's weird behavior!?". Well, let's start from the beginning...

Kevin and Jolly

Kevin created Jolly as his alter ego who's supposed to help to express his own feelings. It's similar to my case where I created my persona, Jane who helps me to express myself and showing me as how I feel (I identify myself IRL as a gay or a woman in man's body). Seems OK... but not in Kevin's case who's lost control on his character. Now that difficult part of his story begins but I'm gonna try to explain the whole thing the best I can...

I'm not gonna say Kevin has started to think he's Jolly 'cause I would lie. I should say Jolly takes control on Kevin's body. Yes, body, not his mind, 'cause this is the way how autism works. That means even if in his mind Kevin still knows he's Kevin and nobody else, Jolly makes my friend by using his body to do things he don't want to do and does that every time when Kevin is in stronger emotions which in his case means... it happenes to him almost every time. 🙁 For example, if you see on his account things like "THEY'RE ATTACKING ME!! HELP!! THEY ATTACKING ME!!!!!!" or "Flash will be gone... FOREVER!!! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 😭" which sounds more like a little baby who still wears diapers than a grown-up 22-year-old guy, that means you're watching things written by Jolly, not by Kevin. Even seemingly cute and innocent "HOLY SCALES!" which is Jolly's catch frase, is a thing Jolly writes, not Kevin. As I said Jolly takes control on Kevin's body every time Kevin's feeling stronger emotions so when Kevin's shocked, surprised or scared by something, Jolly writes that catch frase in Kevin's name.

In the other words, Jolly the Lizard is cute and funny unless he replaces Kevin with himself. Otherwise, he's a real demon. A monster who ruins his creator's life by making him behave just like his scaly alter ego.

Now you may think "Girl! Are you going mad? A fictional character takes control over his own creator?!? What a nonsense!!". Well, no matter how strange this explanation of Kevin's behavior is, I'm afraid I just couldn't find a better way to explain how autism works in my friend's case. You may also say "C'mon, girl! He just makes an RPs with people and he plays his OC's role". That's true as he even mentions he does them but the problem begins when he's "RPying" with people against his will because of the thing I've just mentioned before. Just imagine with having the same problem Kevin has because of autism, you create some cartoon character for some slapstic cartoon like Looney Tunes for example and you can't even decide when you are such a character and when you are not...

For example, if Mel Blanc who voiced almost the entire cast of Looney Tunes characters, had this issue as well, he would become Bugs Bunny or Duffy Duck even when he's not voicing these characters at the moment and just don't wanna be a one of them as he still knows he's Mel Blanc after all and he wants to stay with being Mel Blanc instead of talking and behaving like some of the characters he voices whenever he feels stronger emotions 'cause his own body makes him to do that. Mel would hate those characters after such a mess! And what about Jim Cummings? Another great voice actor I just love and many of you too I guess. 😉 If he was the same case as my friend, he would start to talk and behave like Don Karnage from Disney's TaleSpin in some restaurant for example, not because he wants to entertain people this way there but his autistic body forces him to do that. He would feel like in his mind he's making an idiot from himself and fake Spanish accent makes things even worse in this case (Karny! If you're reading this, please don't kill me 😅) and even though people around him find that funny, Jim himself actually would suffer then. I know, it's getting more and more complicated but I won't rest until the mystery of my friend's strange and toxic behaviour is finally explained.

Now you may ask "How do you know that? Are you a specialist or what?". The answer is I know that from autopsy. Get ready 'cause another longer story begins and I think it's also needed for better understanding of Kevin's tragedy...

Interesting Cases of People With Autism I Met

A coupe years ago I had to work in special place which belongs to foundation which takes care a people with autism, where every worker has this disorder. That place has a people from the entire spectrum of this disorder. Except people like me who are in the mildest part of spectrum, there are also a people with deeper autism like Kevin and people much more disordered than him. Some of them even can't speak. Honestly, such a place was a kind of nightmare for me 'cause not only that I was earning almost nothing, but also every day I was a witness of a human tragedy caused by such a terrible disorder autism is for sure. I remember, Because I wanted to have a normal job an earning bigger money, I was yelling to my relatives that I can't work in such a fucking nuthouse with that bunch of crazy people any longer, even when I was already awared those people are not mentally ill but disordered. I've learned it because of that fundation 'cause on the beginning I actually thought an autism is an illness but I'm glad and proud of I'm a one of those people who already know that's not true.

Now a few examples of people with autism I met in that place I worked, to explain how did I get why Kevin behaves like that. I found those cases as more intersting if about people who works there and even though their much different than my friend's ones, I hope it will help to understand my way for describing whay may causes his behaviour.

Mary (the real name's changed)

Mary is an autistic woman which became my friend almost after we've met for the first time but becasue of her disorder it's a very diffcult friendship. Maybe I'm not a specialist by I think she's around that place on the spectrum Kevin is. Her behavior is also very strange and sometimes even kinda tragic. I'm not gonna talk about every problem she has to deal with but instead I'll focus on just the one which affects not only her but also people she has a contact with including me.

Mary has an issue because of which people should to avoid writing her SMSes, text messages, emails and every kind of contact which requires writing. Why? 'Cause then there's a risk she may start to behave like completely different person. Sounds like similar case to Kevin's but it's not exactly the same.

First of all, unlike Kevin, she doesn't have any pesona or fursona. Technically she's still Mary but when she's talking with people by text messages, she writes things she'd never say to them in person or by phone talk when she's talking by using her own voice. For example, she writes pure bullshits like "I'm having sex right now" even if she never does such a things. Also she always claims that she's having sex with herself for some reason which could mean she's masturbating but I don't think does she such a things either, I mean I may bet she's actually still a virgin. 😕 But the worst thing is when she's starting to insult people with no reason and with no warning. I'm not even able to count how many times she sent me SMSes like "FUCK YOU!!!" or "YOU'RE A FUCKER!!!" and imagine... we're still friends. 😲 Why? 'Cause every time after such a messages from her, when I meet her in person, she behaves like... all of that never happened like she's got an amnesia attack or something like that. It's so fucking weird but unfortunately, this is how autism works with her. 🙁

Currently Mary has a contact with me on Facebook and often writes me, even though I never replies her. Sometimes I really wish, I could, especially when I know she misses me as hell but I know every trial of writing her anything has a risk she may start to insult me with no reaon and no warning. This is how her tragedy looks because of such a mess like autism. 😔

Barbra (the real name's changed)

Another very intersting example I've met is Barbra. She's more disordered than Kevin and Mary but she's still able to talk. Like many of people like her, she's unable to express her true feelings but in her case it has another level. When she feels happy, she's crying and when she feels sad or wants to cry, she's laughing instead. Sounds shitty, doesn't it? 😕 But it's only the beginning... I accidentally discovered her weak point which autism made in her. Let me explain! When you ask Barbra a question which is in form "Who did it?", she'll always reply you with "I did it". ALWAYS! Here are some examples to show how does it work on Barbra in practise:

- Who farted?
- I farted.
- Who ate a shit?
- I ate a shit.
- Who's a bitch?
- I'm a bitch.
- Who has no tits?
- I have no tits.
- Who's made a poop into pants?
- I've made a poop into my pants.

And of course, these examples are only a few of many, MANY of them but I hope you've already got what autism does with that poor woman. I remember I had a lot of fun because of that and that was totally wrong not just because I was a trouble for her and therapists who needed to protect her before me and my pranks but also I was able to do that even though I already was awared about the tragedy she has to deal with. Even if she doesn't show that, she's probably truly suffering inside as long as this disorder forces her body to always reply on these stupid question, no matter does she want to do that or not and her replies are always the same, even if they're false for sure. Of course, after some longer time I've finally stopped making fun of her by using her autism against her. Paradoxically, thanks to her autism, she was unable even for committing a suicide. We'll probably never know was she suffering that much because of me but imagine she could have a suicidal thoughts then. However even if she had them, because of being autistic she couldn't even try to kill herself... and this is one of very few things if not the only one, autism did good to her and her family as well.

Yeah, I was a horrible bitch that time and when I'm writing this I just can't believe I was able to change Barbra's life into pure nightmare, especially she could do nothing with that because of being autistic. I remember I was explaing my awful behaviour to myself with my frustration caused by the fact I have to work with a bunch of autistic people who are much more disordered than me, especially I'm in the mildest part of spectrum so I just felt like I don't suit to such a place.

What Autism Actually Does With People

Anyway, such a confessions I told you during telling Barbra's story, aren't my goal here. I just wanted to show on her example that body of autistic person who's more disordered than me or Kevin (who's the main subject of this journal), is like a prison for the mind of that person. It also explains why many of autistic people are not able to speak. They can't not just because they've never learned that or they don't know how to do that. They can't 'cause their body doesn't let them for that. I didn't tell you yet why bodies of such a people don't let them for doing things which are simple for the most of people, right? Well, let's say it's a matter of connections between brain and parts of our body.

Maybe I'll simplify the issue 'cause like I said before, I'm not a specialist but I'll describe it how I imagine it. For me it's like a connections between brain and parts of body in autistic people are damaged enough to unable the brain for giving an "orders" to specific parts of those people's body. For example, if autistic person wants to move his/her hand, he/she can't do that not because autistic person doesn't know how to do that but because his/her hand can't get "an order" from the brain exactly because of damages on these connections I just mentioned. Unfortunately, even though we already know theoritically every autistic man has such a damaged connections, the results are so different those people are different between each other very much. With saying that I mean it's almost impossible to find two autistic people with exactly the same symptoms which also explains why is it so hard to diagnose this disorder.

---

Conclusions

Before I realized what does exactly happen to my friend, Kevin, I was telling him (or rather I thought I was telling him) the same things over and over again and I was always annoyed when I discovered how's that possible this guy still behave like he got completely nothing and makes the same errors and mistakes like I've told him nothing. Now I have the answer. Because I've actually told nothing to Kevin. The whole that time I was talking with Jolly while I was thinking I'm talking with his creator. But even if I told everything to wrong person, why didn't Jolly get what I said, you may I ask. Well, I'm afraid he's a typical cartoon character who's gonna never change no matter how much does he need that change. For example, my beloved silly wolfie, Don Karnage also needs such a change but, as we all know, no matter he always fails every time he's doing bad things about being a pirate, he still can't and don't wanna get if he'd be a good gut, he would avoid unnecessary suffering 'cause he's so bad he's even bad in... being bad. Living with a typical villain from B movie like him is difficult if you know he's never gonna change himself even for a bit but I forgive him 'cause as we already said he always fails as a criminal (now Karny wants me dead for sure XD). 😉

So you can imagine how it works with Kevin who's autism "lets" Jolly to take control over his creator's body. As we said Jolly's never gonna change either just like most of cartoon characters from slapstic comedies so telling him the same things over and over again like I used to do until now, doesn't make any sense simply. Now if I know about the whole mess autism has done with my friend when I see I'm talking with Jolly instead of his creator, I would like to say "Jolly! Shut up your scaly mouth and bring me my buddy, Kevin right now!" but at the same time I know... it doesn't make any sense either 'cause it's still a talking with a bunch of PNG files which show drawings of Jolly made by Kevin instead of Kevin himself... 😔

The fact I already know about all those things I tried to tell you, doesn't mean I have a solution to stop this vicious circle where Kevin and Jolly replace each other in my friend's body and he probably will live with this shit for the rest of his life. 🙁 However, it doesn't mind I can't help him at all. When I was talked with him recently and told him I've finally got what happens to him, he said nobody understands him... except me which was beautiful and sad at the same time. Beautiful 'cause it's s lovely to hear how important you are in your friend's life. Sad because the rest of people, especailly not autistic ones I guess, may think he's a mentally ill person, idiot, moron, etc. or in the best case that Kevin thinks he's his own fursona but we already said before that's not true either. Because of that I'm gonna help my friend by this bunch of texts to explain other people Kevin always wanted to tell but he couldn't not just because he's autistic but, as he says, he's not good in English. I hope people will finally understand my friend's tragedy caused by one of the most horrible disorders autism is for sure and have much more respect for him than before. Also, if they notice on Kevin's account hysterical journals or texts with crying like a little baby, they'll be already awared it's not Kevin's fault but Jolly's.

And one more thing for the end! You may insult me if some of you will find something which didn't like here, think I'm lying or talking about nonsense, etc. but if some of you try to insult my friend, Kevin in any way in the comment, I'm gonna delete this kind of comments. Keeping writing rude things about Kevin may caused you being blocked by me so don't tell me I didn't warn!

Thank you so much for understanding... ^^

Hey, guys! 🙂 I'm so happy I finally can announce that. I can back to upload commissions I'm gonna buy from now. That's right! 😉 Even thought I'm still jobless, just today I've got bigger money for... doing a review to the project which I got into. Also, I saved some money I've got from my BDay and Christmas as well. That's why for some time (I hope not too short one) I'll be able to buy another commissions like before and upload them here. Let me explain everything from the beginning...

Some time ago, some woman who's a friend of my friend's mom, really worried because of the fact I'm jobless and decided to help me. Then she told me about the project in which I would make a review of some materials and asked me could I join to it. I agreed so she gave me a contact to another woman. Because friend of my friend's mom already told her about me, even though only three persons could be in that project, she gave me that job.

When I sent her my work, she was really impressed and she told no bad word about it! 😲 Can you believe that? 'Cause sometimes even I can't believe I was so good. After that work, she even thinks about taking me into her future projects if they appear. Anyway, today I've got money for that job and I'm so happy. 😄

Now I don't feel so sad because of being jobless like before. I actually have people around me who can help me when I really need it...

The government of my country just decided about extending the period with current restrictions until the end of this month. I guess they wanna have more people vaccinated. Good news is first three classes of primary school can be back to school already with January 18 but that's all for now. Everything else like cinemas, theatres and museums will remain closed and restaurants and cafes will can offer only takeaways.

Don't worry about me anyway! I still stay positive and hope everything's gonna be better soon.

2020's finally ending but I feel like only 2019 is passing now. Because of the fact the most days of this year in my life were almost the same and I feel like time passes much faster than before that pandemic mess, 2020 almost never happened in my life. It was like watchinng three-hour movie with double or even triple speed. Maybe that's good 'cause we know at least for my generation (I'm 31) it's probably the worst year ever. 😔

Thanks to 2020 I've lost my job since about the middle of March (techincally since May as only then my contract has been expired) and I remain jobless to this day. Thanks to 2020 I was living in fear about my and other people's future. Thanks to 2020 I've been forced to spend much more time than ever before with my mom who annoys me sometimes, 'cause she has to work from our house and she does it almost every day (currently she goes to the office only three day per two weeks).

If about the pandemic itself, now even I can't say I don't have any confirmed COVID-19 cases in my family. Just recently I've learned three of four persons of my uncle's family from my dad's side (they live in one house) got positive. Two of those three already have it behind themselves (they've got positive about month ago) and as I know they rather didn't have any symptoms. That third perosn with COVID got positive just recently (I've learned about that on December 25). He's sick already by two weeks and even though he's only 23, he passes COVID pretty hard. Anyway, we hope he's gonna be fine too.

Thank God I still don't have any deadly cases of COVID in my family which is the most important in this whole mess and hope it'll stay like that. 😌

Another sad thing which the pandemic revealed is how much fucked up our sociaty is. 🙁 How is it possible that despite of the fact many people died from COVID-19 (recently I've learned about above two million deadly cases), many people still think... there's no pandemic at all?!? 😲 I feel so sick because of those people I wanna vomit! 😡

When I was hearing recently that we already have the greatest economic crisis since... 1933, I almost felt like I heared a very bad joke. People who would remember events from such a year, are already dead or are very, very old. That means for the most of people on the world (including me of course) this economical crisis is already the greatest one in their lives. Can you imagine this shit?!? 😨

Before I end the part where I'm complaining on 2020... I'm supposed to say "Goodbye, 2020"... but I'm afraid "FUCK OFF, 2020!!! I'm definitely NOT gonna miss ya!" are much better words and I think everybody here will agree with me. 😜

---

I'm almost sure 2021 is gonna be a better year. 🙂 The vaccine is already ready so we have a much bigger hope such a mess will finally end like never before. Also... Joe Biden will replace D. Trump. 😉 Some of you may think "Why do you care about it so much if you're not an American?". Well, I'm just awared the fact who's the President of the United States at te moment actually is important for at least for the most coutries on the world if not the entire world and my country is not an exception. I believe with the president who don't treat coronavirus like a simple flu is much, much better.

If about me, some time ago I've learned from the organization which seek for a job for people with disabilities like me (I'm autistic) I have a real chance to get a new job. 🙂 There's a one very important condition - the lockdown in my country must be ended. According to the government, with January 18 most of restrictions will end if they won't extend them of course but as we already have the vaccine, I'm gonna stay positive this time.

Happy New Year, eveyone!!! 🎉

I usually don't check how many watchers I have at the moment but recently I've decided to check that and... wow! 😮 It turned out I have above 550 watchers! 😲

I'm here 9 years (FA says about almost 12 years but on the very beginning I used to use my account only for watching pics like the most of people do here) and when I started to upload my first commissions I've bought from artists, I wasn't even dreaming about I'll go so far if about the number of my watchers, especially I'm not an artist myself.

Now I see nothing's impossible and if you're patient enough, you may be positively surprise like me now. 😁

I wanna say a very big "THANK YOU!" to all of you, guys... 🥰

My friend,  thosekidsnextdoor101 just has been suspended because of FA's rule which says "minors can't be in presence of nudity". Of course that page of his comic which broke that stupid rule has been removed.

I remember the same thing is happened to this page of my comic (https://www.deviantart.com/janemj/a.....e-01-840759721). The reason exactly the same - "minors can't be in presence of nudity" like in my friend's case but in opposite to him I haven't been suspended and FA's staff just gave me a warning so I really don't know why has my friend been suspended immediately.

Not even to mention I was trying to convince FA's staff to let me bring that page of my comic back but they only confirmed that stupid rule actually exists and forbade me to do that.

I'm writing this journal 'cause my friend asked me to do this as he can't inform you about it here as he's suspended now.

UPDATE:

My friend just uploded a comic (on DA) which caused his suspension on FA and he explains on its description which part of it exactly did that to him...

https://www.deviantart.com/cartoone.....bles-864167027

Finally some great news during such a horrible times we're currently dealing with! 😀 Two words: JOE BIDEN! 😍 Even thought, I'm not an American, I really cared about who will eventually win and I was so nervous because of this election but now I'm happy to say there's still some justice here.

Congrats, Mr. Biden or maybe should I say "the (new) President of the United States". 👏 Good luck... 😉

I can't fucking believe it! 😨 Situation in my country is still getting worse and worse. The government already announced that with tomorrow another restrictions come into force. Seems like a total lockdown in my country is only a matter of time. 🙁 I'm reminding you currently I'm already dealing with a second lockdown but for now it's that partial one yet.

Anyway, with tomorrow not just high schools, restaurants and cafes are closed but also primary schools, cinemas and shopping malls. My country actually has only a last step to total lockdown! 😨

I almost reconciled with the fact I won't have any job for longer time as during the lockdown nobody will hire anyone. Now I'm trying to foucus on the things I still have and, contrary to appearances, I have a lot. I have a healthy and "negative" family. My mom still has a job and she has a possibility of working from home which means she's still able to maintain me like before the pandemic. I live in a pretty big house with a floor and I have all that floor for myself while many families in my country have been forced to live with other relatives almost in one room. Also, sooner or later this nightmare just must be ended. I hope I'll stay strong anyway...

I wish, I could say "Happy Halloween" with a good mood. Unfortunately, I can't...

The current situation in my country is simply tragic and I don't mean just the pandemic but also a mess the government caused. If you're wondering what I mean exactly, it's pretty easy to learn that as mass media in the whole world write about it as well. Just put two words: "Poland" and "news" into Google and set it to show only results from the last week and you should see the whole nightmare I have to live in now thanks to that damn government...

Hey guys! I'm writing 'cause the situation in my country is still getting worse and worse and yeah, we have another lockdown. 🙁 This time it's a partial one but places like schools, restaurants and cafes are closed again like during the first lockdown at least for two weeks. Not even to mention now the entire country is a red zone (just week ago red zone wasn't everywhere in my country yet).

What does this whole mess mean to me? Well, my dad is an owner of cafe and my bro works with him. Because of the latest restrictions now they're jobless as well at least for two weeks. Not even to mention I won't get another money from my dad, at least not so soon and of course, I'm still jobless. 😔

My dad assured me he and my bro will be OK. I wanna believe he's right, especially they've already survived the first lockdown which took above two months so two weeks of another one doesn't sound so bad in comparison to the previous one. From the other hand there's no warranty already after two weeks everything will be reopened... 😕

Honestly, now I won't believe anybody who says from now it can't be worse. Of course it still can. 🙁 That damn pandemic seems to have no end and I don't wanna even ask when will this shit end 'cause I know there's still no answer for this question. The statistics doesn't show that 'cause my country just fucked up if about doing (or rather not doing) COVID tests but I believe the entire country already HAVE this coronashit! In the other words, another records of people with COVID-19 just have stopped shocking me.

I'm not surprised of such a records also becuase of many dumb and irresponsible people in my country. Every time I'm outside I see at least a couple of people who wear masks only on mouth but not on nose or even nothing wearing them at all even in public transport. While Asia has this coronamess almost behind itself as people there don't argue if about wearing masks, the rest of the world including my country is still dealing with it 'cause there's so many irresponsible people whose doesn't believe masks actually help! Even worse, many of them even don't believe the pandemic actually exists! I have NO RESPECT for those people 'cause also because of them this nightmare is still go on! 😡

If about me, I'm trying to stay strong as I still believe sooner or later better days just must come but it's getting harder and harder. The thing I'm afraid the most is a vicious circle in which we have lockdown, reopening, new cases of COVID, another lockdown, another reopening, another cases of COVID, another lockdown... and the same shit over and over again. We can't live in this way! It just must be ended sooner or later! I still hope it's not the end of world yet...

Very bad news guys! 🙁 My dad sooner or later probably won't be able to give me any money. It's because of the current situation of my country (Poland) which is getting worse and worse...

From the last Saturday my country became the yellow zone but already with this Saturday it's gonna be the red zone as well. My dad also learned about it and told me because of that his cafe won't able to earn money, at least not as much as before. He also told me he rather won't give me as much money as before and he should start to think about saving them. I wanna have at least a little hope he'll still be able to give me at least some of those money he gave me before but I'm scared to death now and very mad at the same time. 😱 I know this coronamess' supposed to end sooner or later but for now it's REALLY hard to me for believeing in this. 🙁 Not even to mention more people are still losing their jobs... 😔

The only good news is there's no second lockdown in my country yet. Yes, I'm already scared becuse of a possibility of the second lockdown but at the same time I hope my country will avoid that mess.

COVID-19 is a one big fucker! 😡 2020 is really doomed!!! 😱

I'm gonna make a screenshots from some episode of Canadian cartoon Stoked as request for some guy on DA. Unfortunately, I'm not able to find the series in good quality (480p at least), it seems to be rather unavailable in official sources and even no DVDs are available at all. :(

That's why my question is do some of you have a DVD with season 1 of Stoked in NTSC format? Please let me know!

Recently this guy ( spikedpsycho) sent me a note in which he tells me his mother just passed away and he needs a help. Then he asked me for spreading these links he gave me:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/anita-cancerfund
https://twitter.com/LazyyReader/sta.....46206322216960
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9606769

Honestly, I really don't know what to think about it but just in case, I'm uploading the links here as he asked me.

Hey guys!

I really wish, I could say everything's fine at me but... I can't do that, at least not yet. 🙁 The truth is I have no warranty I'll get that job in Starbucks. Because of that coronashit, the economy of the corp Starbucks (and Pizza Hut where I worked before the pandemic) belongs to, is in pretty bad condition like many corps during such a times I guess. 😔 Bad enough to close one of Starbuckses in the capital of my country which happened just recently and even a really good place where it was couldn't save it. 🙁 Admittedly, my potential boss of Starbucks where I'm supposed to get a job, says she really would like to hire another worker but eventually not she but the economy will decide can I have this job or not. 😕

So the current situation is still pretty shitty no matter there's no lockdown in my country since the end of May. People are still LOSING their jobs! 😨 I still wanna believe the nightmare called COVID-19 will end but sometimes I feel like this shit will never end.

Seems like September's gonna be the decisive month if about my future and honestly I'm a bit scared...

Imagine you're a talented artist who can't work anymore because of your health issues and the only future you have is... dying from starvation on the street. 😲 This terrible thing happened to alaer from DA (https://www.deviantart.com/alaer). I think her artwork is just amazing and can't believe she's in the situation which is even worse than bad. It's tragic! 🙁 That poor woman doesn't have money for living and is about to lose a home. She just told me if her mother dies and she's already 82 which means it can happen anytime, she and her sister will be homeless as well. 🙁

When I realized she's actually forgotten by almost everybody and the only person who paid any attention on her last journal was me, I just thought "God! I have to do something before it's too late! She doesn't deserve for such a mess which happened to her!". That's why I wrote what you're reading now.

If you don't have any money, don't say "Sorry I can't help her" but just spread her journal wherever you can. Let's have hope there's a someone who actually would be able to help this woman to survive. Her journal is here:

https://www.deviantart.com/alaer/jo.....Read-844327093

Thank you...

Somebody has a book "FETCH! with Ruff Ruffman: Doggie Duties"?:

https://www.amazon.com/FETCH-Ruff-R...../dp/076366815X

I can't and I don't wanna buy it. Just wanted to check do all of its "illustrations" are actually a screenshots from the episode under the same title which would be pitiful if its creators actually taken the easy way out (previews from this book seem to confirm my fears). The fact that damn book hasn't its digital version doesn't help at all! :(

Do you remember what's happened to me recently here on FA? If not, check this:

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9532102/

Unfortunately I don't have a good news. 🙁 First, FA's staff just admitted they actually have such a fucked up rules with throwing directly into my face this reply: "Children cannot be in the presence of nudity, even if the image is intended to be innocent". Second, that also means they're not gonna bring that page they removed back ("I apologize, but these are Fur Affinity's guidelines, and they must be considered when posting on our website. It is not allowed here. Thank you") Don't even have to mention their warning I've got from them stays with me too as well. 😔

If anything, I'm talking about this page:

https://www.deviantart.com/janemj/a.....e-01-840759721

I'm afraid from now this one's gonna be available only on DA (at least until DA's staff forbids it there too but I hope it's never gonna happen). I personally think they're overracting as well. I see also some kind of hypocrisy here 'cause just imagine even scat is a more appropriate thing than this page I'm talking about, I mean scat is totally fine on this site. Can you believe it? 😲 Anyway, this is what I said to FA's staff on the end:

"Fine! Honestly I believe such a guidelines will be modified in the future but of course if I have to respect them whatever they are, I have no choice.

I'm sorry for violating your rules. I hope it's the last I did that."

Honestly, if this is gone too far, I can't be even sure it's the last time I violated their rules. 😔

Just yesterday I told you about a horrible news which made me very sad and angry:

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9546294/

Forunately, after I've told my dad what's happened to me, he decided to help me by giving me money for this and next month. I'm so happy because he actually saved me. 😂 Without his help I wouldn't stand my current situation so well.

Anyway, seems like I underestimated coronavirus and it still turns out it's a bigger fucker than I think. 🙁 Also, I had just another example which shows me that people from the government are the last one whose can help you. 😔 Usually they just tell they care about people but the sad truth is they actually care about votes from those people which can keep them in power. Honestly, I think the government of my country is a one big pathology. For example the prime minister of my country tells that the epidemic there is already ended which is a one big bullshit. Anyway if you wanna know what I mean with saying the government of my coutnry is so bad, just think about D. Trump and... you've already got the answer. 😒

The fact is I should count only on people who actually cares about me like my dad for example and I think many of you understand that as well. 😉