Lol sooo the GeekOut.Con thing, is turning out to be a nightmare so we're backing out before we sign any contracts. So I'll be posting all the assorted projects that are already done/in progress here to sell them.

Got a killer summer saturday night job for this summer at one of the local wineries, and not only will I be bartending, they are interested in my services as a fursuiter to entertain small children. Woo!

Also in job related news, just found out today that they're closing down the last store within an hour of us...so I'm officially concerned that we're about to close our doors. Staples does better business allegedly online than in brick & mortar establishments, but they're going to totally screw over organizations that need things done in a couple hours. Our copy/print dept is our lifeblood. But to cover my cute little bunny butt, I've applied at the business next door because I found out they start their cashiers at $1.25 more per hour than what I make now after working there 2 years...& if you work Sundays they give you an extra $1 per hour. UM YES PLEASE. I had actually already applied & am in round 2 of interviews but am going to actively pursue it since the news dropped today.

I'm still selling Pink Zebra if anyone's interested in that. I'm happy to mail out samples if you want to know what anything smells like!

Buhr & I have an appointment to go look at a wedding venue Saturday morning, & if he likes it, we're going to set the official date & put the down payment in...so excited for that. This stuff is going to be crazy expensive (I don't like spending money often, so it all feels expensive), I'm a little anxious about how it's all going to get paid for.

With Mother's Day on the horizon, I'm having more trouble this year than I have in the past (major issues with being able to carry to term & being pushed into making decisions) because I was told something & I'm sure the person who told me thought I'd be happy & supportive, but it set me into 3 days of suicidal ideation. I feel like the fact that I survived it with minimal additional meds, only one day of calling in to work, & just lots of love from my support system means that I'm mentally doing some better. But it hurts. I'm better off not being tied to my ex & hoping for child support/him being a good dad. I'm just...somewhat numb on it at this point. At least I've got my pups. & wonderful people who love me.

Happier news because I want to end this with happy stuff...I have this girl I like, & she might like me too, but because she's coming out of a bad relationship, I told her I'd be happy just to be her friend while she's nursing that broken heart.

Had my first major manic phase in over a year.

Lasted not quite 2 weeks, and I was able to completely plan my merch for my next attempt at being a dealer, over 50 quilt patterns that are going to be done up and sold. Bandanas, ornaments, bookmarks, all kinds of goodies. But what's really impressive is the fact that I designed over 50 FREAKING patterns. We're talking stuff that should have taken me a week each, I was pumping out 5 a day on average. I wish to gawd I could keep up with that. I could stop working bullshit day job and do stuff that I actually care about.

The first one is actually being made right now, & I'll totally post things up on here as they are finished because if someone wants to purchase, OF COURSE I'll sell it & just make another one for the convention.

OH YEAH the con I'm dealing at for sure...it's not a furry con. It's called GeekOut.Con (I think the name is terrible, but hey, I figure it's worth a shot). They're so fresh that they don't even have their website up yet. So I'm primarily doing Pokemon, Ghibli, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Doctor Who, & generic Japan themed Kawaii stuff. It's going to be near me in Bloomington IL this October, & I've offered to run a furry meet up as a panel since I'm sure some of the furries will show up lol.

But yeah...mania...That was nice while it lasted. I'm coasting and having hiccups at this point, woke up this morning like I'd hit a wall. I'm hoping that I can stabilize it & be okay for a while longer, at least until my uncle passes (dying of brain tumors, he's got 2 months at the absolute longest, he's forgotten how to walk & he keeps trying to wear everyone's clothes but his own, & he's getting confused by food). I can have a downswing then & nobody will be on my case.

So surprise, surprise, it's another day in the life for me, plenty of rollercoaster going on lol.

I make no secret of the fact that I live with type II Bipolar disorder & complex-non-combat-related PTSD. I've seen a total of 4 different psychiatrists since I was diagnosed, and my current one is my favorite. She knows that I put on a good face when I come in to see her regardless of what's actually going on in my head so she figured out early to ask the right questions. She knows I am a medication minimalist because I don't want an over dependence when things can be managed other ways.

I told her today that one of my major stress sources right now is how worried I am about Buhr & how badly he's being affected by his own depression. He is more than willing to seek treatment, he's medicated but it doesn't always help. She thought about it for a moment & pointed out that when we get married, I'm going to be on his insurance. It would make sense for me to ask to see the insurance information to prepare so we can have a seamless transition of care for me since there's a possibility that I won't be able to continue seeing her after the change. & then I can find out who is accepting new clients. LOL My doctor told me to throw her under the bus. I love this woman. Of course she then informed me the chance of me losing her as my pdoc are slim, she'll do whatever she can to stay available for me because I'm one of her least demanding clients.

& I'm seriously torn between putting it in the wedding fund, using it towards couch payments, car payments, phone bill, or buying myself some furry art because...well...I want furry art.

God I suck at adulting XD

First off https://furryinvasion.org

I have a soft spot for small conventions. Anybody thinking about hitting this up?

So it's really real. I have my dress...minus its sleeves lol. I'm so happy I might cry. My sister (even though Mouse & I fight like cats & dogs, she's my sister & I want her to be part of my big day) got to come with so she got to see it & agrees it looks better with sleeves than without, and she even tried on a few bridesmaids dresses & has probably picked hers out. I just have to take it back for alterations once I've dropped some weight & get the sleeves on. :D

For the record, Bipolar (in all its assorted flavors) blows.

I've been like OMG YAY  Iggi had her baby! Weh, this pinched nerve in my neck is making it hard to even sleep, so I'm crabby. WOO! I'm getting married & have a wonderfully supportive fiance! Turn around & I'm so worried about him because his depression has been kicking his butt. Rock ON I've booked 4 Pink Zebra parties in a few days! Wtf why can't I get anything accomplished for this wedding?!

...yeah. Thank goodness for my new support group, it'll just take a bit to warm up to some of them.

& on the one hand, it's mood swings, it's all in my head. But SURPRISE it's a mental illness. A mood based instability. I'm trying really hard. But damn I'd give my metaphorical left nut for a vacation.

Oh & another thing....my 53 year old father is about to be the oldest non-professional (frankly one of the oldest period) motorcycle racers to compete in the Daytona 200, a 200 mile/3 hour endurance road course race on the Daytona International Speedway in Florida. I'm psyched for him. I'm also freaking terrified because he's about to make an 18 hour drive with a 50 foot trailer from central IL to Daytona Beach...through the mountains...with snow. This trailer has never made a trip to/from DB without blowing at least one tire. So yeah. I'm spazzing like a mofo right now.

WHEEEEEEEE!

I'm posting here because I'm pretty sure at this point nobody reads these, & that's really & truly okay right now. I need to put my thoughts down somewhere so I can come back later when my head clears & try to make sense.

Buhr is hurting & won't let me in to fix it. He admits that it's something he needs to work on, opening emotionally at all. He was raised in a culture that didn't encourage it, so it's hard for him. Having major depression isn't helping.

It's making it hard for me to stay excited about wedding planning, which I so badly want to do because holy crap I'm getting married to someone who only wants the best for me & we bring out the best in each other & do our best to support each other through "episodes". That has my family worried that I don't want to go through with the wedding, that I'm not excited. My grandmother just bought my dress...it's beautiful, I feel beautiful in it. But I'm just so...I don't know? Feeling lost because I'm more worried about the guy I'm marrying than the wedding. I know there's some people that are probably going to look down their nose at me & say I'm jumping into marrying Buhr too fast, since I was with Blu so long, and then I was with Buhr & Eliot & Fin... Technically, Fin & I are still a thing, & Buhr's okay with it.

I'm stressed about finances, but I won't ask for help-help, if anything I'll just try to plug my Pink Zebra stuff more, have more sales, make more stuff & post it on twitter & here. :/ My parents (whom I live with) are at risk of losing their home for a long and convoluted reason that makes me want to beat my sister-in-law. But per my psychiatrist, I wouldn't actually do that. Because I'm really quite non-confrontational. Go figure. I get ragey but make it all internal. I am more likely to cry when I'm angry than do anything else.

I dunno guys. I just...I want to help my friends that are hurting, but I'm barely keeping my own head above water right now. That almost feels selfish, I used to be the kind of person who would drown myself to put someone on my shoulders so they'd be okay, but I just can't do that anymore. & I'm afraid it lost me friends. I dunno.

Hey folks & fuzzies!!!

In an effort to pay off my debts & pay for the wedding, I've signed on with Pink Zebra to sell their soy based, non-toxic, scented Sprinkles & Soaks. Downside, my local area is pretty much over-saturated with other people who sell PZ. Upside...we do online parties and I can send samples to people so they can let their friends and family smell them & then we place an order, & it gets shipped direct.

What does that mean for you, my friends? Making the fandom smell better has been something I've joked about in the past, & now being a fursuiter I've gotten a little more serious about making sure I don't stink. My idea is I'd offer Host benefits to anyone who wanted them for an online party, giving them the chance to earn free product. We have over 50 different scents, and you can mix & blend to create your own too! I'd be happy to try to run individual specials for your party if you choose to host them.

If you're interested in hosting an online party, or would like a FREE SAMPLE of Pink Zebra Sprinkles, I'd be happy to set you up. Private message me for more information!

That's like the only part of that entire song I know.

I'm -this- close to paying off my car. Then I'll be able to get my license back after I pay off those fees, & then I can get the car fixed up and work on getting insurance.
But, I hate my day job, it's become a series of daily panic attacks and episodes of massive depression just thinking about going in & having to deal with the management team. & I only work 15 hours a week there.
Thus...I'm busting hump filling out applications. I've got a resume in at a local vet clinic for a part time receptionist gig, I had half an interview today at a loan place for full time clerical work, & many many more lol.

So now...what do I do in the mean time? I turn back to my carnie roots. Side hustles, but not of the illegal or unethical variety, because damn those get exhausting.

I'm going to offer proof reading and beta reader services for $5-10 per piece, and voiceover work like ads or guided meditations for $10-15, and I'm going to start upcycling children's clothes into big dog fashion. I'm also going to rock my watercolor paintings (I miss doing them. They take a lot of time, but they're really pretty), do them in series and post them here & on facebook for sale. At Buhr's urging, I'm also going to write short cheesy romance novellas (hooman) for amazon publication because those are easy money if I can just get readers. My furry writing will continue as well.

If any of my watchers are interested, or might possibly know someone who'd be interested, please spread the word. I'm trying to get back on my feet, pay people back that I owe money to, and I want to be on top of my game before I'm 30, y'know?

Happy New Years!!! May the upcoming year bring us all just the right amount of happiness, keep us all in better health than last year, and only test us enough to prove that we can handle what life throws our way. As far as resolutions go, I want to dedicate an hour a day to writing, an hour a day 5 days a week to working out, and cut my soda intake down. Not going to take away my coffee because I don't drink it that often, but I need to ease up on the pepsi.

What was going to be a short story for entry to an anthology, I've changed my mind and will be written as a full manuscript, then pitched to furry publishers (one at a time. I am not that asshole who does simultaneous submissions). Actually, I may do both ideas that I had for the anthology as full stories, since I'm getting more & more invested in the characters & their worlds. One has a definite more adult vibe even though I'm not sure there's going to be any erotica in it. I want to, but at the same time I'm not sure how well received it will be. The other is a little more action-sitcom-y. Complete with surprise wolf cubs to keep an eye on. I'd like to see about coming up some sort of trade system with artists to get simple ref sheets of my main characters because it's always been easier for me to write a character if I can see them a little more concrete. If you know anyone who wants a story written or high school/college paper help, I'm all ears lol.

***Warning, wedding crap***
I'm working on creating the rough budget for the big day, and I'm stressed to the max. I've not gotten any quotes for the venue or food & alcohol, & I'm already over $2k. I may have found a stellar dress option though. A friend of mine from HS's mom is a seamstress & she bought over a hundred dresses when a local bridal boutique went out of business. She's offering to sell me a dress for under $100 and do the alterations for under $200. So I can pick any dress she has & have it custom tailored to me for under $300. That'll knock $400 out of what's currently stuck for dress & alterations. Fingers crossed lol.
***All clear!***

Are raffles still allowed to get more watchers? I tried to look through the aup & rules & just couldn't find anything. I want to offer one or two to get some business attention but I don't want to get in trouble. I really don't want to beg my better known fandom artist friends to pimp me either, but I am trying to come up with ways to fund this wedding, y'know?

Comments and notes VERY much appreciated!

((Warning, wedding crap in this paragraph, skip if you want to avoid))
& the disagreeing with my mother has begun lol. I found a beautiful cover of 3 different songs for violin for the processional...At Last (famous by Etta James), Can You Feel the Love Tonight (Elton John lol Lion King), & All My Life (K-ci & Jojo). She wrinkled her nose at CUFtLT, said outright that she dislikes Etta James so she wasn't going to like that one even if it was just violin, and -why- would I walk up the aisle to R&B? Um. *Points @Buhr* See my PoC fiance? It's one of his top 5 favorite songs & when I told him I'd found a cover of it for solo violin he burst into song. Buhr doesn't sing ever in front of me because he's self conscious about the fact that I'm a trained vocalist & he's tone deaf lol. Just because you're not familiar with it doesn't mean it's not a gorgeous song. She's probably going to stroke out when I tell her I'm entertaining having a Michael Jackson song as our first dance. After doing "the mom voice" (& I'm sure you've all had that disapproving sneery voice thrown at you once or twice), she smiled and said "But it's your & his wedding. If it makes you happy, you do it." Hnnnngh.


OKAY ALL CLEAR

A week till Christmas, 6 days til the start of Hanukkah. I am SO NOT READY. 5 days til my baby sister comes home, she's not been here since July when she left for Basic at Lackland. <3 She's warned us that she's lost her filter, which surprises me not at all since she facetimes home every day and she says whatever pops into her head already. Can't wait for her to see Nonnie & surprise her & Papa. & get to drive her new car. She's already paid for it, had the paperwork faxed back and forth, so Dad & brother went & picked it up. Gorgeous pearl colored Equinox. She's not driven since July either so this should be highly entertaining.

I'm working on a short story for publication in a charity anthology, but if it doesn't get in, I'll totally post it up here just to see what you guys think. There be wolves. *eyebrow wiggle*

Feel free to talk at me <3, I'm missing furries pretty hardcore since the con.

MFF was wonderful. I needed that desperately. Wish I could have hung out with everyone I wanted to more, but there just wasn't enough time (is there ever?). Even if I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted with Buhr, we had serious quality time...even after he went loopy from dehydration/exhaustion. Anyone who gets a chance to meet him, you'll adore him. He's sweet & funny & will do anything he can to help out. He's a real keeper.

Which is why...we each put a ring on it <3

We're projecting for a November 2018 wedding, so plenty of time to save up for it (& me to drop some weight lol) I let him choose the theme, we're going with Vintage Hollywood Glam (all the glitter lol) & I've got my Man of Honor & Bridesmaids picked, I'm going to go get paint chips to finalize colors tonight, so I can start prepping the silk flowers & decor stuff, & the girls can start looking for dresses. Yeah I like to do stuff way early. But since we're paying for most of it ourselves, I think that's gonna make more sense.

But on the topic of Buhr & I paying for it, I'm looking for a new job (Staples at 12 hours a week isn't working anymore, it barely ever did), & am going to try to take on projects like quilted wall hangings & table runners, as well as writing stories for commissions...& work on stories for publication to put towards the wedding fund. So if you or anyone you know are interested in stuff that I offer, hit me up <3

Hi all!

I'm looking to create a pool of beta readers for my stories that I'll be submitting for anthologies and publications, so things that you won't see on my page here.

I've already got a few really awesome friends that are on board, but I'm hoping to corral a few more of you wonderful fuzzies out there in Fur Affinity-Land that maybe don't know me as well.

If you are interested, shoot me a comment on here, let me know what kind of genres you enjoy reading (and maybe what you don't so I don't send you stuff you'll totally hate).

Laters!!!

Where are you staying?
Um. It's one of the overflow hotels...with the suites, and the epic breakfast buffet. I'm shite at remembering hotel names. I'll be staying with my boyfriend Buhr,  BluDrakecon  Handmaidennyx & hopefully  Nyil if he still wants to crash with us.

What days are you attending?
Thurs-Sunday evening

How are you traveling?
Driving from about 3 hours south. Buhr's picking me up from work, we'll pack the car, and be off & away!

How is the best way to find you?
Telegram me if you have that, message me here if you want my Telegram handle lol. I'll be lurking and seeing how comfortable Buhr is with the fandom. He came with me last year and seemed to enjoy it, but recently asked why I was such a boring furry XD He wants to do more stuff lol.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Absolutely going to the dance competition, & I want to hit the writing panels if I can, but beyond that, I'm just going with the flow & seeing what my volunteer schedule looks like.

What do you look like?
I'm a chubby chick with brownish hair with blonde streaks. But I'll be wearing my new bun ears so look for the teal bunny ears & the extra foofy nub tail.

Will you be suiting?
Probably not much if I take my suit at all.

Do you do trades?
I can do chibi doodles, so I'd be willing but you'll probably be disappointed lol.

Do you do badges?
Not well, I gave up on my visual art a while ago. Trying to do some digital stuff but I don't post it.

What is your gender?
Female

How tall are you?
5'4" :D According to my new Dr, I gained an inch lol.

Can I talk to you?
Absolutely. If I get distracted though, please understand that I plan to be busy catching up with people I haven't seen in years or working to help the con.

Can I touch you?
Not without warning, and please make sure to ask. Please no glomps this year as the pinched nerve in my neck is acting up and I'd like to not be in a brace lol.

Can I visit your room?
I'm sharing it with 4 other people, so I'll have to make sure it's all kosher with everybody else.

Can I buy you drinks?
Depends on what it is. Pepsi, always. Cranberry juice, always. Coffee, you bet baby. But alcohol I have to really be careful with because of health issues.

Can I give you stuff?
I like stuff!

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Only if we've talked about it ahead of time. So I think probably not.

Are you nice?
I'm an evil carnivorous Bun. Nice is subjective. I tend to be a little guarded but there are people that I get really excited and happy to see so they think I'm nice.

Do you have an artist table?
Nope, but I'm going to have a quilt in the Art Show.

Will you be going to parties?
I'm a bigger fan of art jams and half-assed dancing at the raves. But if Buhr wants to hit room parties and finds people he hits it off with, I'll totally go.

Will you be performing?
Nope, not this year. Maybe next.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just come up and say hi like a normal person. Do -NOT-, I repeat DO NOT touch me without warning. This is only my second big outing since my PTSD diagnosis, and I'd like to avoid taking my anxiety meds unless I have to.

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
I signed up to do a bunch of volunteering, and I always lurk in the Den/Alley where my friends are working.

What/where will you be eating?
Buhr is hoping to eat a metric buttload of Chicago food that we can't get down here, so I'm not sure.

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Maybe? It'll depend on the way plans work out.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
Lol sure why not.

Can I take your picture?
Uhh...I don't think I'm particularly photogenic but if you really want to, please warn me first.

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Spend time with old friends, maybe meet new ones, spend plenty of time volunteering, and maybe get a bunch of art!

 Barisaxophone is trying to get back to IL to see their family (emergency situation, but it's not my story to tell). Fin has a journal up at http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7879139/ so please go have a look. $8 for a full body sketch? Heck yeah, hit 'em up!

So for like...the couple people who were interested in the party...looks like I'm going to have to cancel it this year, I just got hired on for the Halloween store here in town for the end of their season. I'll try to plan better for next year. They're paying really good, & I want to have some pocket cash for MFF. I'll make sure I touch base with everybody personally, don't want you travelling to watch me at work lol.

For an anthology!

It's an awesome theme concept, so if you're a writer, I recommend checking it out. I won't throw out what country & animal I called dibs on, but if you ask nicely I might tell. :)

http://goalpublications.com/open-sh.....y-markets.html go check them out!

I'm looking at Friday October 28th, dinner at our local kickass Chinese buffet (Fast Dragon, $11 to cover your meal + your share of the tip) at 6, then back to my place (we've got a LOT of outside and decent inside space) for bonfire, music, and games. Bring snacks to potluck & your own drinks...I'm not sure how I feel about alcohol being on site yet. We've got a bar across the street if you really want something. I'm in Pekin IL, & I'll give my address to anybody who's interested, but I'm not going to just throw it out here first thing lol.

Hey Fuzzies, mostly posting just a check in. True to the nature of the disorder, my bipolar has had my moods swinging like crazy. A lot more down than up, but the ups have been pretty nice.

Spoke to my all time best friend for 45 minutes the other night on the phone... We met in 4th grade and even though we drifted in and out of each other's lives, every time we're back together, it's like no time has passed at all beyond the general run down of "hey, this is what's going on". He's not part of the fandom (but oh buddy I know he could have a great time & would make friends real easy), but he was one of the first people I felt safest coming out as bi to. Amusingly enough, that was a mutual thing. Anyway, he's living out in Los Angeles now & is both the manager of an art gallery and a life coach and a voice lesson coach. This guy can't sit still, is brilliant, and omg gorgeous. Like, was dating an underwear model named Ignacio gorgeous. Yeeeah, I've had the lowgrade crush on him five-ever, & he knows it, but we joke about it and are best friends. Anywho, he's going to help me out with finding beginner yoga stuff and recommendations for healthy recipes. I'm kinda excited about that.

I keep catching myself writing long texts to E wanting to ask what can I do to have him back, what would it take, what did I do wrong...and I'm better than that. I deserve to be loved & not have to give up major dreams. I deserve to not be ignored constantly and have to entertain someone just because they're too tired to do anything. ...blah. Still want closure that I'll probably never get, and I want my damn crockpot.

Also, binge watching one of my favorite Netflix Originals, "The Ranch". I <3 Sam Elliot the actor, and I'm almost liking Ashton Kutcher now lol.

Hey, I really want more friends over on Flight Rising (I've got a thing for dragons lol) & this week is another one of their open sign up weeks, from today to the 16th. I'm RhysaCorgi over there, and I'm happy to give a dragon to anybody new who signs up and finds me there. :D

So, I'm in the process of learning Spanish. Duolingo is an awesome app on the phone, & I'm using random Spanish words to curse at my Dad's dog when she does something really stupid. Minnie is a good girl, but when she bolts past me to go terrorize the chickens, we have a problem.

More MFF talk: I am going to try and have some of my animal themed quilts hung and put in the Art Show. I just have to hurry up and finish them. I've got 3 that I want to do, but there's 2 that I know I can have finished in time. Also...I'm thinking about doing an act for the Furry Variety Show. I just need to come up with 3 minutes of material, & I'm pretty sure I can pull that off, between my Dad being the living embodiment of Wile E Coyote, to some of the more ridiculous moments from my pro wrestling days, to a few furry gags that I'll have to come up with between now and then. Anybody have an opinion there? (If I do the FVS, I'll be wearing my canine partial fursuit, so it won't exactly be Jazmine up there, it'll be Libby)

I'll admit that I'm terrified of going to see my general practitioner tomorrow, he's gonna rip me a new one about my blood test results, and my weight, and on and on and on. With my anxiety where it is, I'm liable to start crying at him. Should be a blast. I honestly want my Mom to go with me but she'll be at her shop, and then have to head straight to her second job. I know it makes me sound like a wuss, but I just know that when I start panicking, it helps to have the moral support. I don't have Grace's work harness yet, so it's not like I can take her, especially without having her official PTSD training & certification complete.

Hope everybody is doing okay out there.

First off, welcome! I reserve the right to change this list from time to time if I'm having an inability to write a particular fetish, because frankly, if it don't flow, it ain't gonna go. If I don't have something on this list and you want to know, ask me! I'm happy to clarify.

YES!
Accidental stimulation
Hetero couples
Same sex couple
Group sex
Transgendered characters (because apparently I need to list this?)
FemDom
Anal
Hypnosis
Anonymous sex
BDSM
Bath or wet play
Begging
Biological imperative (being in heat)
Oral sex
Bodyguard scenarios
Bondage
Fairy tale style romance
Claiming or establishing ownership
Closeted partner
Costumes
Confessions
Crossdressing
Unrequited love
Cuddling
Daddy role play (age is the issue here, we can talk)
Exhibitionism
Foreplay
Masturbation
Control/power switches
Ropework
Secrets
Sex in public
Sex interrupted
Hypersexuality
Sexual frustration
Striptease
Communication
Xenophilia


MAYBE?
Light vore.
Transformation
Humiliation
School themes


NO.
Underage characters in sexual situations.
Copyrighted characters (I don't bash fanfic writers, but if you're paying me to write something, it's technically copyright infringement).
Abuse (physical, emotional, mental. We all know there's a difference between rough play and abuse).
Nonconsensual sex.
Asphyxiation.
Bloodplay.
Bestiality.
Watersports.

Hey everybody, I'll try to keep this one light.

In an effort to raise some scratch for MFF, I'm going to try to go through a bunch of stuff and sell as much as I can. Should I use that $ to pay off medical debts & get my license back? Yeah I probably should. But I need this vacation for my sanity's sake. So I may post things in the near future, probably with a $ amount obo. Because I need to let go of some of this stuff. There will be books, possibly clothes (I'm plus size so a lot of my stuff works great for bigger girls and transgirls with bigger shoulders), movies, and I'm honestly not sure what else yet. I've got a lot of vintage knitting machine stuff...like, thousands of USD$ worth that I'm willing to let go for considerably less than its worth, because I just want it gone.

I'm also going to offer up short story commissions (they will take priority over my freebies, as freebies exist as such) with pricing totally negotiable. SFW & NSFW, I'm going to post my acceptable vs unacceptable content journal up here in a little bit.

I'm not sure if this next part is I hit a wall or I hit a breakthrough...I'm clearly having a depressive episode. I'm sad. I'm hurting. But I acknowledge that he's not coming back, I'll never get to be stepmom to his beautiful daughters that I just adore, and I'll never hear him say certain things to me again. I also acknowledge that that's okay. He deserves his happiness just like I deserve mine. Idk that the people I'm with now will be the people I'm with forever, the last couple relationships have more or less made me rather cynical about happily ever afters. What I'm discovering is that my happiness starts with me, even if the metaphorical black dog is sitting next to me. So I need to sit down with my support system and figure out some serious goals, create pathways to reaching them, and make a rewards system for along the way.

I started writing down goals, and some of them conflict. But I think I'm going to post them here so if anyone has anything constructive to say, it'll give me a fresh perspective. Keep in mind it's my journal, so if you're just gonna be a butt, I'm going to ignore it. :)
Be published by one of the big fandom publishers
Be published as a romance writer in mainstream fiction
Get into ElectroSwing music
Get a job in the mass communications or publishing industries
Move to Texas
Get married
Have 1 or 2 kids
Live in a house (that isn't my parents') again
Do more voiceover work
Own my own side business
Work from home
Go back to college
Get a teaching degree
Get a massage therapy certification

I'm just typing to type at this point, so I'll stop this one and start working on the content journal. :) Thanks for listening, guys.

So...planning on being at Midwest Furfest. I'm sure I'll see the fill-in meme soon enough, & I'll fill that in as soon as I get my paws on it.

If I'm pipe-dreaming, I might as well have fun with it. Besides MFF, I'd like to start thinking about other cons to go to. I have attended FurReality, IndyFurCon, Furry Weekend Atlanta, & Furry Connection North in the past. I really want to go back to IFC & FWA, I'm also wanting to try Furry Fiesta and maybe even Gateway FurMeet since that's just a couple hours south of me. Anybody have any opinions on those?