Welp, like I said in my last journal, it's all about two steps forward and one step back

It only took me going to February to manage to eventually find me back here on this website and posting here again in this journal and, really?

After three months, what's the most I can say or share with you guys?

In the end, I think it's just easy to say, I'm alive, in as good condition as you can expect me to be, with enough plaster to hold me together

And, as you can likely guess by the absence of posts and updates since last journal update, I've been buried with stuff outside the screen

I'm not gonna say that this is me back for good, or give you guys a run down list of the crapstack triple decker hero sandwich that has been some of my recent life experiences

Just know that I'm coming out on top at least for now and this here is just a little message from me to just try and let you see that I'm here, I'm alive and still going~

Just still here, and well, while I don't have much I wanna share out loud that I'm working on trying to get myself back in order

Don't expect me to have a miracle manic reappearance, but for starters, let's begin by uploading stuff that I'd made like since October - which sadly is like all of four pictures and such, but still - and I'll hopefully see about working through my inbox and get back to folks =B

Then work from there, we'll see how much I can get back into posting more stuff once more =B

I'll hopefully post again here soon with a lil more for you guys about what I'm up to, see if I can work myself up to some more fun stuff soon~

Until then, everyone?

I hope that 2019 has been good to you so far and I hope I'll be able to make it a good year too~

It's ALWAYS important to remember to keep taking those steps forward

Been waxing a lil lyrical on that thought and all, especially because this journal is me returning after a month's vanishing and it certainly sounds like an important enough message, as simple as it sounds, right?

But, certainly it gets hard to pick yourself up sometimes, literally as well as figuratively and sorry for the radio silence this side, as I went and took a tumble that awarded me a rare enough Jazz-moment of having not one but two casted limbs at a time, and really that did not help things or help me stewing in my own brain bag about things happening

I could take a long time going on and on about stuff, but I figure it doesn't do as much good doing that about now, just really wanted to apologise for that

The good news coming out on the other side?

In the space of the last month I did my duty and got wheeled out to the poll booth to take part

Halloween was a total wash, lol, in several different levels of disappointment, but, in the end I at least got Jeri on a night of the year where she's in high demand, all to myself, all curled up with the dogs with us as we watched some jerry rigged horror movie watching

The dogs and Jeri have found neutral ground, if not some begrudging part of Jeri's heart is now cracking and accepting them more, maybe it's the fact how cat-like they are iun nature that she's slowly giving them as much attention as Mana, who just does her own thing most days, lol, but can still be seen directing the pet hierarchy of the house

Wally had a pretty big vet visit over some concerns of his health that were behavior-wise also, but he's now on the other side of that and although bills are always a concern, we're both happy to have him back to his normal self and much calmer and happier for the sake of everyone in the house =B



There's other stuff, and this is more of a confessional apology than anything else I guess, just, being very conscious of the silence on the art front as well as the journals and online in general, I did not take things well a few weeks ago and among building anxiety and frustrations got pretty self-destructive

Nothing really big for worrying's sake, I've already banged myself up enough that I don't need to start doing anything like that to my body or nothing, but, among other casualties of my tantrum and whatnot was some art that I had made that I ended up scrapping

Not that there was much good among it <_< There WAS a pic I drew of Wally and Masha in their halloween getups, we had Wally as Where's Waldo and Masha as a lil witch lady with lots of frills, but that really didn't last long IRL, lol

And, unfortunately part of the quality issue and part of my silence is that I took out my thumb in the latest injuries, so, my output may be somewhat slowed down for a while, and, I'm actually kind of glad I didn't post up the art I got rid of as it really didn't look that great x_^

Just bear with, I promise I'll have new content somewhere up soon around here and I haven't forgotten any promises any time soon to you guys <3

Hope to give you some better news and updates soon!

Yep!

I feel like it's been forever, but FA tells me its only been a week since last journalling, so, maybe it just felt longer with a bit of a hard week and whatnot, lol

I'm alive and kicking, that's the main thing with less than a week to Halloween spookiness! Although, gosh darnit, I don't feel like I've gotten properly into the All Hallows Eve spirit enough D=

Me and Jeri have not watched NEARLY enough movies or such, I'm still to properly decide on a costume and the fluffies have been dreading their dates for next week in a move I hope to share a lil mor eof next week regarding what the heck Jeri bought for them XD

My art may be a lil late this week, but I HAVE an idea, it's just struggling to get the ideas to come out and stick to the paper is all =x

Hmmm, we'll see soon I guess on that front, but know I have plans and just working on them whenever I can somehow, just been a heckuva week as far as taking up time and my mental stamina battery that now needs to recharge some

If anyone has any plans by the by about how the heck you're supposed to get Moira in Overwatch's achievement for hitting 7 folks simultaneously with her ultimate, that would be darned appreciated right now, I've been struggling with only giving myself so much gaming time and it seems like an impossible point, lol

Not to mention also that I'd be happy on the video games side if anyone could recommend me the best way to find a cheap copy of Black Ops 4 to pick up, Jeri's decidedly gone off the franchise but I still wanna play the Zombies mode campaigns D=


Already said to one or two folks on it, but darnit, I love me the zombies story in CoD and its equal parts over the top, corny and dramatic, but I love the whole shindig, just check the trailer that came with the game and all!

https://youtu.be/o7M_VAVVP6A


Outside of that, not much else to say apart from this is just a mini update to let you guys know I'm alive, will work on my productivity where I can and still just wanting to keep in touch~

Uggggh, my inbox is still sitting massively full, so apologies anyone who's sent me a message that I've not yet replied to, I'm getting back there, just, maybe not today, but soon =D

Until then, take care all~

So, yup, art uploaded for today, have more to post, but sadly need to wait til tomorrow due to scanner issues =o

I'm happy to say that things are moving along on a good few levels, money wise I managed to flaunt off one of my larger transformers, so, like, gonna try really hard to focus on how to spend two hundred bucks responsibly like an adult and NOT end up spending any on more plastic or cardboard crack that'll just go in circles, lol

Somehow I've managed to stretch my collection on Magic Online not to spend any money there but still get like all of the important cards of the newest set without spending any liquid cash

AND have traded, hoarded, bargained and cajoled my way to find all the pieces I need for my brand new Commander Deck, Arcades~

https://static.tappedout.net/cache/.....addfb390e4.png

I've been rummaging through ten cent bins in card shops for WEEKS on end to find all the obscure commons and uncommons from previous sets and all the defender cards people used to just throw away after drafts and such, lol

I only need THREE more cards to complete the deck! =D Sadly they're like the expensive ones, like, thirty bucks of expensive, lol, but I promise I won't spend any of the transformers money on that front, going to try and use it for holiday spending instead mayhap, I had to tell everyone in the family and such that I couldn't afford to buy any presents, be nice to at least get Jeri something nice and then work my way out from the main family onwards =B

Although speaking of presents, the gift that keeps giving is the fluffies, all is well there and these two are filled with surprises, dunno if I mentioned in a prior journal or not about the 'zoomies' they do, which I learned is an actual thing related to Chows

Teh two are so laid back, but then at just random intervals all of that energy and excitement a normal dog gets all day just gets condensed into this 30 second interval where one of them will run around in circles and bounce around like a gummi bear that fell into the juice pot, lol, all whilst the other dog stares on with no discernible reaction, then two hours later have them just switch rolls entirely

I'm sad to say nothing came up yet with for National Osteoporosis Awareness day, but, erf, fingers crossed I can come up with something, will post the rest of the updates tomorrow and get back to you uys with another update soon =B

Until then, all is okay and holding out, with plenty more boring news not mentioned, lol, just know that I'm working away in whatever shape or capacity I can be doing so~

First and foremost before getting into the meat of the journal here, just wanted to say as I hadn't brought up the fluffballs in a while, lol, they're both doing great, classes have been a mixed success as far as any actual training? But it's been good seeing them interact and such with other dogs

Previously Masha had always barked and barked at other dogs, trying to get their attention or to play with her or whatnot, but she's slowly but surely calming down a little and its been a real relief seeing her have some real progress =B Although honestly, Wally's the one who's been learning better from the actual lessons, lol

It caused a lot of hassle the first few sessions, since neither of them knew anything about playing with dog toys or such, neither of them were at all interested in the dog toys with treats inside as a distraction or learning tool, and both of them were turning their noses up at the treats given by the classes themselves

Subsequently we had to try different options and ended up going to the classes with like a tub of lil cheese squares we'd cut up instead to treat them with?

As a result, other folks dogs have been ignoring their owners and keep looking over at me and Jeri whenever we give Masha or Wally treats, lol

So yeah, all in all, still goes well, the dogs have been a lil out of sorts with the weather rattling away at the place, and more than once I've found the pair hiding away at the fallout shelter and ended up spending time with them in there just to keep them company =B


NOW

On to the main course here, this is a rather random topic, but, one that's important to me and I wanted to make a journal about it while words are in my head to stamp down on page

I often get a lot of questions when folks meet me or my characters for the first time and ask about the whole broken bones and casts and whatnot =o Often people will take the explanation about my condition and take that as face value quickly enough

However, recently stuff's gotten a bit muddier

I remember a lot of people who met my characters and thought it was a fetish of some sort (turns out of course there IS a cast fetish, abasophilia?) and when I'd explain, people would often wonder why I portrayed my character this way

Think about it, we make our fursonas to fulfill fantasies, to be the ideal versions of ourselves and just plain be awesome fur folks

If I really wanted, why don't I have my fursona have an adamantium skeleton and being super athletic?


Then I read an article today on the most recent Doctor Who episode and something clicked

(New Doc is an awesome lady, digging her outfit by the by <3)

I'm still jury out on the new season of the show and the new crew and whatnot, especially since we've not even seen the new title screen yet!

But slight spoiler aside, one of the new assistants on the show is a guy called Ryan who has Dyspraxia, which effects some of his motor skills, mainly around the fact he can't ride a bike and is shown back and forth through the episode struggling and failing to do so, even at the end of the episode not being able to manage it even as he tries to do it for someone special

And, thinking on observation and people's feelings, what was the best outcome of that idea

In a general Hollywood style treatment, isn't the typical wish we have to want to see Ryan achieve his goal and manage it?

And why do I feel better that in the end he didn't manage it?

It's a similar feeling I've seen before in myself in stuff like the My Little Pony movie with the character Tempest Storm, a Unicorn with a broken horn who seeks to have herself restored, but in the end of the movie, laments it's still broken

Instead then, Twilight comments on Tempest's abilities and how she should focus on what she has already achieved and is capable of

Resulting in the screenshot that launched a thousand ships...

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/SAbC2-LNTig/.....resdefault.jpg

(Incidental title incidental)

ANYHOW

Yes, so, movie ends, but in a world of magic and powers, Tempest isn't restored, she's still her as she is and will continue to struggle with the fact her magic will never be fully whole

It's there, somewhere in there, the idea that Tempest, or Ryan or me have problems that we can't just overcome magically, that there's no wave of a wand that dismisses our problems and we struggle daily with it on different levels

Would it be more satisfying to not have those difficulties and live a life with a far better quality? Darn likely, but, how does it feel for other people with disabilities or conditions who see these characters and see that kind of resolution that ignores the things that effect them most?

I think that it's important to have characters like Tempest or Ryan or Hiccup even - still love that ending to HtTYD 1 <3 - that show people who live with disabilities can be represented and have that part of them be present, that they still struggle, and will always continue to struggle: that while they will never fully overcome their shortcomings because of their conditions, but instead still find ways to function and participate as much in the story


I think a little part of that existed somewhere in me before but I never really knew how to express it before, that it's important to me that my fursona has my same shortcomings - heck, she even gained sympathy weight with me, lol - and that she shows off her battle scars proudly because they're a part of who she is

My casts and broken bones don't define me, but they're certainly a part of me and many other folks with osteoporosis who live with the condition to many varying degrees, there's no overnight fix and seeing that in other characters means a lot to me

So, by extension, it's certainly not something that'll change any time with Jasmine

Whatever shape or form my fursona takes over time, you can bet Jasmine will always be rocking the latest of (Plaster of) Paris fashion, lol

Yuppppp, MTG nonsense to follow, I'll separate this journal up to start with non Magic stuff then put all MTG stuff at the bottom so folks can skip that part if they want =B

So, let's start off...

One thing off the bat?

I'm sorry that the page has been without an update this week, I know by heck you guys have waited longer, but goshdarnit I wanna give you guys more stuff AND BY NO MEANS want any return to previous hiatus levels, so I've managed at least to clear through my inbox, faved and commented a lil, writing here now and tonight at some point have arts that I've already made, but just wanna finish another piece that I'll upload alongside some other works =B

But I wanna make this month a lil more special, even if content wise I'm trying to come up with stuff, I'm trying to imagine up something special because A LOT happens this month art wise to take part in!

Halloween of course! Spoopiest moments of the years to be had, but a lot of people draw stuff in like Goretober and Inktober, dunno so much about the first one, but Inktober? I very rarely ink any of my works, but I HAVE tried my hand at it once or twice =o

So... for this month, whilst I try to think what the heck of what to draw next, I wanna give you guys a chance to vote for any of my recent pics that you've enjoyed and would like to see inked! =D

No idea on when to deadline this, but if inspiration strikes and you guys want a pic that really gets my thumbs up, we'll see what I can come up with!

Also on the 20th of this month we have the National Osteoporosis Awareness day, previous years I came up with something for it and wanna think up something to go along with this too =B

Iunno, I'm drawing a lot of blanks, but creatively I wanna do something special for this one, it feels like a lot has happened this year for me and this date's always a big one in the back of my head somewhere =o


I also wanna take some time to apologise that part of my week or so vanishing is related to me becoming addicted to a videogame. Like, not funny addicted to a videogame. Like, forgetting to eat or sleep addicted to a videogame.

Binding of Isaac, turns out that a 2D platformer with a hell bullet system, BOOKS WORTHS of secrets and items and combinations and a very hush-hush lore can kind of drag you in and not in a good way.

So, got myself in there and, well, trying to make sure I'm not left in a room for any amount of time with that console =_= If I broke my addiction to Ballz, I can do this, darnit. At least I'm trying to be up front on this one, called in some family members to watch me and make sure I'm not backsliding.

So, focusing on positives that I'm recognising this problem and trying to call it out?

With that aside, I'm gonna be able to hopefully focus and keep working forward on everything else, art wise, creative stuff or just any progress at all

A lil sad that I've had to shelf plans to take Jeri to a movie festival due to funds, but we'll come up with something cosy and quiet no doubt =B


Now....

MTG SECTION!

A lot has been happening in Magic world, Guilds of Ravnica has hit the ground, ye olde standard of Kaladesh and Amonkhet is gone, and I am once again saddened at waving goodbye to the egyptian magic world and all it's furry cards, but, eh, they'll live on in my cards and in whatever Commander decks I think up next for them, lol

Seriously need to improve my collection here, trying to organise them better, trying to work out cards I can trade, Commander deck lists using the cards I have myself or such, Iunno =x

I feel like if I could get a handle on that, at least that'd be one thing I wouldn't worry so much about and could enjoy it more

But, yeah, stuff has been happening with Magics, the official release of the new set as I continue to flounder about with no idea what the heck I wanna play in this brave new world of Standard, lol, although possibly considering some Izzet style classic DnD wizards deck, focusing all on the Wizard tribe synergies and just using a slew of cheap spells to rush through opponents =V

It's a bold new world with the old standard cards going away, so who knows what's possible?

The prerelease was hecka fun, I traded in a lot of my cards to cash in and get entry, with luckily a lot of my performances in drafts or Game Day events that I managed to get netting me some good amount of store credit to take part =B

I even took a 'store rep' part, playing in the events but not keeping what I opened just to be able to experience the events and handing the cards I opened back to the store so I could be there and help out new players and such, which is something I really enjoy, it's nice to feel needed or helpful when I'm down now and again

Which, unfortunately brings me to one of my big headaches =_=

The prereleases themselves are an event with a big build up, they are the biggest hyped in store events for Magic the Gathering being all about playing a brand new set before its release and trying to hype players themselves into playing more with one another

So, in the weeks before the Prerelease it looks like a full cornucopia of card game contests:


-GAME DAY EVENTS: Held two weeks before the prerelease, these events give away a single card from the new set to get people interest and offer prizes of mats, deckboxes and other material that promotes the next upcoming set whilst also being a celebration of the previous sets and challenging players to brew up their best decks to come in and play with

-OPEN DAY: Held one week before prerelease. Less of a tournament and more just a day dedicated to opening up stores to welcome new/returning/lapsed players who may not know where to start with Magic and letting them learn/relearn/take part in some games and play with a few small prizes/promos and other stuff to intrigue them =B This is free to enter and stores are encouraged to come up with new ways to do things to attract players to it

-PRERELEASE: This is the big daddi-o of Magic events, the mother of all Magic gatherings and by heck, people usually have a blast at these. People usually have access to full spoilers of sets by now, but while some people may know what cards do? This is their first chance ever opening those cards and trying to play them outside of a vacuum, seeing how they interact with one another, how fast or slow this new draft format is? What's a bomb, what's a dud?

Who knows, lol, the appeal is it's fresh and new and also that it provides a more even keel for new players as existing players are experiencing this at the same time as them, so they have more of a chance of building something to fight back and play with against their opponents than normal events =B


The big emphasis is? (Well, what should always be the emphasis?) Fun.

This is supposed to be all about having fun, none of these are for big cash prizes, but, this time round, there were more than a few bumps in the road, sadly a number of them relating to a single player.

The Game Day was where it started, certainly being the first event where things could go wrong, also the fact that this event has the most riding on it prize wise with the title of store champion in a playmat as well as packs and packs of cards to be won, yeah, people are fairly competitive at this event.

Saaaaaaadly I'd been not concentrating as much on the Standard format of late and ended up just building what I had the parts for instead of having time or money to go build a brew and ended up Red-Black aggro, fast, strong and pressure pushing, this deck either won or lost fast, giving me more time to help out any new players, as well as needing as little time as possible by me to spend having to build/test/practise

And unfortunately, it performed a little too well, getting me through the swiss events of playing round and round the store against other players, including one who was very adamant he was going to make Champion

Sadly I trounced him rather badly and he didn't take it well, commenting through the game about how nice it must have been for me to play the meta and go for such a cheap deck to win with

And then? When I beat the guy, he then gets up and takes offense to the fact how jovial I was throughout the game speaking to people or making jokes or humming or singing, which he didn't mention during the games. My game is fairly loose and I get a lil distracted now and again just trying to have fun. If someone asks me stop something mid game, then all's fair, I'll stop it, straight up, or at least do my best and apologise

But nope, guy never said anything until the end about how frustrating it was to then call me out on all that, storms off for his participation packs and straight up leaves the event and drops out

That did sting a little, I know some of that is just salt in the wounds at losing, but I did feel a little bad myself that my deck was a little too strong maybe for this level of play and wasn't sure what to think

I did manage to make it through the swiss rounds and into the top 4 cut battling it out for the Champion title and playmat

However, that was when I got stomped in the semi finals

BADLY.

One player had dedicated himself to playing a deck that no one in the shop had dared even attempt and by far the most spikiest and terrifying to face:

Bant Turns.

For anyone not knowing much on Magic or the current Meta, this deck focuses around the card Nexus of Fate:

https://img.scryfall.com/cards/larg.....jpg?1534628441

Based on the part of the Magic story of Khans of Tarkir/Fate Reforged/Dragons of Tarkir where the planeswalker Sarkhan goes back in time and changes the history of Tarkir, this card centers around the idea of playing it, then receiving an additional turn.

However, this card is very controversial in the magic community for several points.
-It's incredibly pricey and hard to get copies of, released only as a promo card for buying a full booster box of Magic cards, something Wizards swore they would never do, making it both hard to get a playset and also hurting a lot of trust in the card company
-Its 'Instant' typing means that they can play this card in YOUR turn instead of theirs, netting them a surprise turn you didn't know about and often being a death sentence when they surprise you with it to have to end your turn and they get two turns immediately afterward
-The ability to shuffle into the deck. Normally, 'take an extra turn' cards exile themselves, so, not just gone, super, super gone from the game and not coming back to avoid abuse of cards that could copy its effect or return the card to use again

So, subsequently, the idea of Bant Turns is using a combination of abilities that play this card, then continuously draw or filter cards through your library to find one of the four copies, which will ALWAYS be in the deck as soon as you play one, giving you higher and higher chances to draw it each turn, effectively creating a nigh-infinite loop of turns where they play Solitaire and you're stuck watching from the sidelines

In addition to all of the draw power that Blue gives, the removal white provides, Green allows the deck access to accelerants for more mana that lets them play their cards earlier and also means they have access to 'fog' effects

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?type=card&name=Fog

Fog isn't in standard, but any card with this ability is usually referred to as it, using green fog spells, the opponent will use these to stall and stall constantly whenever you have a rare turn yourself, so you can never inflict any damage on them

The result is a demoralising and heartbreaking deck to try and fight back against, usually only seen at much higher competitive levels of Magic due to the price of the cards involved and also simply due to how powerful the deck is


Unfortunately, I was playing against my opponent in the semi finals who had this deck and it didn't go well, and I can admit my own part in this, I was stubborn

Not once but twice I'd gotten my opponent an inch or two away from defeat by the sheer stubbornness of throwing my creatures and spells at him again and again, pushing through all of his spells by the number of my assualts

But, inevitably both times he found the cards he needed to lock me out of the game

This is when normally Magic players would consider conceding and moving to the next game

But, I decided I was ready to play this out. Chances of my coming back were low, but the combination of cards required isn't guaranteed, so, rather than concede, I kept playing, or rather, my opponent had to keep playing whilst I waited for some chance, some slip up or off card that he'd receive that would give me back a turn and a chance to fight back

Unfortunately, it never came

But immediately afterward, my opponent was unhappy even after winning

Unhappy that I'd made him play the game out and not conceded to him earlier

I've got to admit I was unhappy too, but, certainly anything I say here is sour grapes considering I lost the game, but, the guys attitude stunk to high heavens

Like, we have new players around the table watching because we're in semi-finals and I ask my opponent if he'd like to explain the combination to the new player who doesn't get what's going on, he refuses to do so and I have to instead

I apologise later to the new player about the game being unfun to watch and my opponent then up and blames me for that fact I could have gave up any time I liked


Guy was complaining about me making him play the deck he decided to play with even after winning the whole event when he was talking to friends later

And unfortunately, he of course showed up at the Open Day to take part in the event and make use of the reduced prices and such, including a draft of cards that was free for new players and half price for existing players

And of course, I find out that the guy has not only NOT been helping the new players, he's been exploiting them, instead of helping them learn to play a draft or build decks, the guy has been hate-drafting and taking all the rare cards passed to him by players who didn't understand how much they were worth or how powerful they were

I had my own dilemna with this, there's nothing in the rules that says you HAVE to let them know, but, geez, seriously, is it worth me taking a 20 dollar card when this new player could use it better? I tap the girl beside me and let her know what she pass me, to which her family quickly are happy to see her take it back, while that guy over there is making like a bandit

I am happy to say that outside of that rubbing me wrong the rest of the day went fine, I was actually super happy to see the girl I returned the card to really had fun with the day and was actually really good at the game

Yes, I helped build her deck, but she still piloted it and managed to face me in the final round with it, so I get a little bit out of knowing that she may very well join in again with Magic and join in the community some more


And then came prerelease

One of the events is called Two Headed Giant, where effectively you're a tag team, partnered up with someone against another team and you go from there

Usually it's a lot longer and more grindy than normal play because you have to negotiate with your partner and you take your turns at the same time

Think like any Yugioh multipart episode wherever Kaiba and Yugi ended up working together and you likely have an idea how that went kind of XP

STILL

I most often go to these events without a partner and instead take any players who don't know how to play Two Headed Giant and help them learn and deck build and such

Only thing is? When me and my partner do really well, once again, we bump into the same guy from the Open Day and our new reigning store champion and his friend

And not only is it clear that he's here for the prizes than the fun, the guy just has no patience for the new player here

We're playing and the guy is constantly rushing us, while I'm trying to make it clear without causing an argument that we're playing at a fully acceptable speed - judge confirmed - and trying to explain things to the new player for them to be able to take part better

But nope, guy interrupts, pushes in and rushes everything and sadly I have to say, steamrolls us with their combination of Blue Black dimir control out Dimir-ing me and a real aggressive red-white Boros push


All in all? My partner has fun, but I still feel like it marred the day and the previous ones too

This player just kind of all round stinks at trying to help new players or focusing on fun of the game, although not without reason, this guy happens to be a very, very good player, competitively so

Like, this guys gets invited to Pro Tour Qualifiers without having to go through the initial attendance events good, he's not a name that's on any big Magic website, but he's in that competitive circle, he draws a crowd of his friends to the store and he's certainly a big deal there

But, just, he's not technically doing anything wrong, but, he's certainly not helping out either with anyone else or the game

This isn't the pro tour and these events are supposed to help players have fun

And, just the idea of this guy who can't switch off going full on Skynet Terminator mode when machine gunning his way through newbies is just really, really irking me

I don't know how best to handle people like this guy, I don't know if I feel confident enough to approach this guy over how he behaves because of his presence and stature in the store (by the way, he sold the champion mat on eBay instead of keeping it =_=) and it just feels frustrating

Gaaaaah

Enough Magic related headaches without one who can adjust his level of douche baggery to go with it

Apologies, this one I had to vent some, hopefully I'll think of something before next Prerelease in like January

Hey all~

Been a lil behind on updating here, we've been having some amount of fun, including a friend's wedding that had us away a day or two, dear gosh I almost forgot how much hectic a wedding planning got, more so for the people not planning it and trying to take part instead <_< I now have a renewed empathy for everyone who pitched in on ours now and need to hand out some thanks and hugs I think

Still, just wanted to let you know what was going on and the slight delay, I'd mentioned in the previous journal that I had Magic stuff up and coming, after pitching in and helping our local game store to make Open Day a success, now, after having pawned some of my transformers I am going to translate some plastic crack for some cardboard crack, lol

For the next three days I'll be returning to the plane of Ravnica at the Guilds of Ravnica prerelease event and see exactly what I can come up with regarding avenging my fave Sphinx Isperia and just enjoying the Autumn atmosphere through Ravnica without thinking too hard about the whole looming doom and warfare about to take over the world =o

...I think I need to insert a joke about enough about Trump and back to the cardgame or something XP

I'm not really after any specific stuff, but hoping maybe if I get any particularly pricey cards I can exchange them/sell them to try and get some excess cash to take Jeri out to a movie festival that's coming up =B


Outside of Magic, the fluffies have attended doggo classes!

It's.... been... interesting? I think, lol, we haven't been expecting miracles just by the old 'old dogs new tricks' saying, but it has become clear that we need to tweak our teaching techniques and such, the whole reward system with clickers kind of needs rewards the dogs like and the treats handed out turns out they're both turning noses up at, so we may not have had an entirely productive training session there, but gonna go and see about practicing with the fluffies a lil here at home and how that goes =B

All in all, things have been hectic, but hopefully next week is quieter and I'll be able to upload something Monday if not before the end of the weekend =D

Until then, I also need to come up with weird Ravnican themed team names for the tag team part of the prerelease...

"Straight outta Ravnica"
"League of our Own" (If going the Izzet League)
"Selesnyan Witnesses" (If playing Selesnya)

Haven't given enough time on this yet, still need to think up ideas... >>

Anyhow!

See you guys again soon =D

XD I'm happy to say the above title wasn't an announcement of some new tragedy or incident caused by trying to handle the two dogs whilst encumbered with my current injury, but certainly, Jeri and folks expressed some discomfort or concern over how well I'd be able to handle them whilst on my own here and there

Well, turns out if you tie two leashes together, and have two dogs who have completely opposite temperaments they actually kind of offset one another: Masha will pull all she wants to run off, but as long as Wally is settled to take his time and go at his own pace, Masha's kind of been limited, so I use a lil leverage holding the middle of the super-leash to reel them in without hurting them or me =D

Not that it's been perfect, lol, but just to let folks know one arm or not I'm still working and hopefully gonna come up with something before my next physio to try and help improve stiuff =V

Outside of that, the weekend was busy with Magic holding its store championship match, although I think I'll save that for a separate journal just as it may go ong <<

Welp, dunno what hurts worse, because, goshdangit, it happened again D=

Depending on which you wanna know about first, that would either be me breaking an arm, or it would be Magic once again killing my darlings with their latest cards and happenings in Ravnica XP

Not much to be said on the arm front I guess, went and got myself caught in a rock and a hard place effectively trying to reach under some counters, and, well, let leverage and your imagination go from there >_> Didn't need the fire brigade to get me out or anything, but still one that I'm kind of half laughing at over the expression the doctor gave me when we went to the emergency room

So yeah, kinda floored myself a little the last few days, and I DO have some art to share, luckily enough I know better than to put my right hand into anything if I can help it, lol, so can still write and art, so, just need to finish this up and will have some stuff to share soon =B

Was also looking to see the dogs reaction to the injury, they were initially a little panicked and kind of getting in everyone's way when it happened, not sure what was going on but kind of sensing something was up I guess, and then waiting for me right when I came back, had to let them check me over and have since received many affectionate licks and huddles of fluff on either side of me keeping me company, so I think they've definitely identified the invalid in the room and are trying to be socially welcoming and encouraging me to get better, lol, I think they're gonna fit in just fine around here something tells me

On the dog front, I'd been very conscious for a while that Chow Chows are a breed that imprint on only one or two humans and the possibilities of what would happen if they imprinted on someone who wasn't me or Jeri

Welp! Turns out that they decided to just split us up, lol, I've been watching them both and noticing who has been with me or not, and it looks like Masha's been milling more around Jeri's ankles which kinda makes sense with Masha being the more active and curious of the two, whilst lazybutt Wally has been more with me since I'm way more pedestrian and quiet likely

They're both recovering well from vets and thus at least I'm the only one in the doghouse over ailments or injuries any more, just as long as I don't have to wear Masha's headcone, I think I'll survive =B

Outside of physical pain?

Ouch.

Magic did it to me again, another character dead and dust that I was a big fan of, soooooo, for anyone not bothered about the MtG stuff, you can skip past this bit, lol

I started Magic back in Theros officially, but it did mean that I got to see the tail-end of the Return to Ravnica block, the world of Ravnica being one of Magic's coolest, a Logopolis setting of a city that spans the entire planet George Lucas style, and the struggle of the ten guilds that make up the cities infrastructure vying for dominance

And at the head of the beurocratic and fastedious lawmages of the Azorius is Isperia, a mighty sphinx who has a WAY too powerful card in Commander:
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/C.....verseid=107448

However, by the time I got into Magic, instead she had a new, slightly less powerful card, but one I loved all the more as a representative of her character:
http://cardening.io/tournamentcardmatch/Modern/ISPERIA,%20SUPREME%20JUDGE

=o The first version of Isperia is far more aggressive in wishing to interrogate opponents and call upon reinforcements, but this newer version of her was so majestic in her art and so noble in her duty, being a much more defensive and protective force I just fell in love instantly and placed her into a janky white/blue fliers deck I pieced together =B

It didn't hurt that in a block filled with other Guild Leaders being jerkholes that she was the only one who seemed to be looking for answers to help, in her own roundabout ways as the law tied her hands from direct action

(Looking back, I'm actually secretly proud of my combination with Isperia, Supreme Judge in that environment, containing my first mythic Windreader Sphinx:
https://www.cardkingdom.com/mtg/201.....dreader-sphinx

Archangel of Thune:
https://www.cardkingdom.com/mtg/201.....angel-of-thune

aaaaaand for extra spice, one of my fave Theros cards that comboed with Thune - the Nyx-Fleece Ram:
https://scryfall.com/card/a25/26/ny.....utm_source=mci

So yeah, fun times <3)


But yeah, overall Isperia was one of my fave characters from that Ravnica set, and fast forward now to 2018, as we now approach the brand new set Guilds of Ravnica, a new set in Ravnica that follows one of the big bad's Nicol Bolas and his plans to usurp all of the guilds one by one:

https://youtu.be/x6Dff3PRv-c

Super ASMR-y there with the whispering, but, basically, leaders of the ten guilds are vanishing or winding up murdered in rapid succession, with no sign of the Guildpact who unites them the dissension grows leading to strife and aggression between the guilds, Isperia steps in:

http://www.magicspoiler.com/mtg-spo...../guild-summit/

Only thing is, turns out that co-operation isn't in Nicol Bolas' mindframe, and, well, when Nicol Bolas has a gorgon under his employ... well...

https://i.imgur.com/e7YxQ1N.png

Yeeeeeeeeup.

Protector of the Ravnican people, now reduced to a garden ornament. =_=

Ersh, first Mirri, then Elspeth, then Hanna... can I enjoy a female character in Magic without them dying on me?

ANYHOW.

Enough whining from me, hopefully expect something uploaded tomorrow if not tonight! =O

Yup, two days ago promised an update in arts

Two days ago, fell asleep at the laptop before scanning the new pieces

THEN, yesterday? I kind of looked at what I had and didn't feel all that satisfied, so, I began working on a third piece, and didn't manage to finish it, sooooo, before I let this go any longer just wanted to let you guys know, that I will have the posts up today, one way or another, lol, whether or not this third pic makes it to fruition we'll see, but either way, there will be art today~

Also need to get back to my inbox, oi >_>

Still, all else good here, apart from maybe the feels over seeing the Adventure Time finale

<3 I say nothing for spoilers sake, although probly like half the internet is crying out on this one already, lol

Art is coming, don't worry, I haven't forgotten my promises! <3

I decided that maybe I was overdoing it with the dog posts and decided to give a bit of a gap between these, got some art also, but that’s not quite finished, see how that turns out tomorrow, lol, I am only sad to say it’s a bit silly, so don’t expect anything epic XD

Just as well I decided to take a gap, the doggos have been having plenty on their plate to keep us busy for a month I think, but so much has had to be rushed simply for the sake of everything going on with the pups

We’ve had them lined up for training classes to get properly socialised for a while and we held back to give them time to adjust to being here before we threw them into an environment like that

One of the things we sadly couldn’t put off was vet treatment, coming from as bad a place they’ve been, we had to expect they had problems

Wally - who’s been getting called Waldo a lot now - has been the one who got off lightest, but we’ve noticed certainly how much he’d been struggling with eating from his piano teeth, but it wasn’t improving, and poor boy ended up needing five of his teeth removed, but he was a trooper over the whole thing, PLUS, he’s seriously improved real quick, bouncing back and he’s eating better with an a new appetite =D

Masha however got the worse side of the story, as part of her adoption the place had agreed to put to the vet bills as neither of them had been neutered or spayed, so we decided in the end Masha would be treated, because it was one thing to get Wally checked, but Masha could still just bump into a random dog and, well, ain’t nothing but mammals

While she was there, the vet had went through a long, LONG list of problems Masha had, and we decided to try and save Masha a lot of stress we would have her fixed up alll in the same seeing

So in one go, on top of being treated, she also had a hernia removed, ingrown eyelashes fixed and some attention paid to her hind leg, she’s been limping badly and the vets were even talking about removing it, but, we’ve had their medication sorted and she’s getting more spring in her step, so as she’s limping less, we’re looking hopeful that won’t be a problem and shouldn’t have to be considered any more

So, yeah, physically they’re coming round, and it’s been obvious Wally looked out for Masha alright, spent the whole time she was recovering from surgery beside her and checking her

Mentally though, a lot of work still to go in these two, Wally is so placid that you’d hardly know anything was wrong with the big fluffball, but it was clear that when we got them they were just not good at being separated and would whine even with a glass door between them just about

We have been getting them slowly used to being split up, being in different rooms, or just letting them get time to go around the house exploring and such

Still happy to say no accidents, I commented to a friend that it was weird and almost eerie how welll behaved they’ve been in the most part, which kind of leads us to believe they may have been trained, or possibly they just fear disapproval

Curious enough now we’ve learned that Wally refuses to go to the bathroom in our yard or our house, he’ll only go once past our property, and Masha has kind of compromised by only going number 1 in the yard when let outside now and again, but is shy around us any time she needs to go for the other bathroom usage

Really the only bad behaviour the Two have had has been the barking but that’s kinda lovable

The only thing that’s really been concerning however has been Masha with noises, things that set her off, like, any time anyone coughs, or particularly bad, we discovered she’s afraid of the microwave

Like TERRIFIED of the microwave, so bad she will run away, tumble upstairs and physically try to shove beds so she can hide behind them just to get away from the microwave

So much so, that even if someone just goes near the microwave in the kitchen she starts whimpering

I don’t wanna imagine the connotations involved why she’d be afraid of the microwave and the noise from it, but, now that she’s recovering from the he vets, we’ll be looking at the classes in a little over a week

So, yup, slow and steady is the motto here, we’ll see how things go and keep you guys posted as we learn more and more about these fluffs =o

Oh, and they love cheese

Like WOW they love cheese

And I’ve started to get trusted more and more to scratch them both, and been able to learn their fave scratching areas to reach for, lol, they’re both still plenty big on just having their own private space, but every once in a while they’ll grace us with their presence, flop down and submit to whatever lovey dovey junk we can come out with XD Slowly breaking down those walls!

So, continuing from yesterdays journal where my body kinda shut down on me like halfway into how much I wanted to write, I wanted to let you guys know more and more about Masha and Wally =B

I suppose the learning curves for us on how to help them is a bit of a steep hill as is, but it's also a big learning curve it seems for both dogs in entering the house and just trying to get used to things here, and every day we seem to find something new we never thought of being strange or out of place to the pair

The first thing we realised that the two had never ever dealt with before was stairs, just, you know, getting up and down stairs, evidently the foster lady really was serious in enclosing the two that they must never have been allowed out of the room she made for them, because neither of the two had any idea how to actually navigate a set of stairs

Luckily a bit of encouragement and patience has seen them get both up and down, even if they're as slow as me on crutches likely doing the same walk - heck, I could probably do it faster on crutches, lol - but they're starting to get the hang of it at least

Also something that's a new concept to both of them is TV, just, any screen or show or movie or even commercials, the two of them just turn and stare, any noises from a screen has their ears whirling and heads turning with attention on the spot, lol, the most notable being ANY time there's a dog on screen or a dog barks, that's usually the cue for Masha to start barking the house down

We've only had them a few days and it's pretty clear that Masha's the one who wears the pants here, Wally just kind of takes everything in his stride and is very quiet, often gets bumped out of the way whenever Masha wants through and doesn't make any fuss, it's a weird mix and I keep thinking of the yin-yang comparison of their cream and dark coats together, lol

Although just to confirm once more, it's also been established that Managan is boss in the triad, any time Masha gets too close to her personal space there's a hiss or two to see both dogs pay attention and not bother her, so, to recap, house order is:

Managan > Masha > Wally

Seeeeeeems everyone's happy there at least, apart from poor Wally on the bottom rung, but he gets lots of love and attention anyhow, so, y'know =o

Even just their initial introduction to Mana was a thing, I can only imagine how closed off these two have been from the worlds to be surprised by everything, spending six years locked in a tool shed together, never having known anything apart from each other, they just kind of stare bewildered at anything new, although Masha was rewarded with a swat when she tried to pick up Mana, lol, as long as everything's calm, everyone here's calm, we've not seen any aggression out of the dogs and the most notable thing really is the barking

Masha particularly being guilty on this one, set on guard mode, if anyone parks outside, if anyone comes to the door or heaven help you if you pass the house on the street, lol, she will be bouncing up and barking away, with not much stopping, so much so that eventually Wally joins in with her after a while, but much like when we first met them, if someone is barked at when they enter, as soon as everyone's sitting down or such, they kind of back off as well, even if a little shyly so

So, yeah, still so much to show them and still so much for us to learn too

There's problems a-plenty, especially we've found with Wally who's having trouble eating, his teeth are a real mess and going to get looked at quick, Masha's got problems with her back leg and her eyes, so this is a lot of work and a lot to fix, but we've got ourselves set for the long run and we'll let you guys know how they're doing soon <3

Huzzahs a-many, we're back!

And indeed, successfully so~ So, what to tell you guys? The car was certainly cosy on the ride down and back even more so, but we're home, so, y'know, all's well~

We got to the foster home and we were given a couple rules of what to expect about meeting the dogs first time onward and that we'd be labelled pretty much stranger danger immediately and that it would be quicker turn around than imagined, so yeah, immediately we were welcomed by LOTS of barking at us, but it was like an invisible line that we crossed once we got welcomed inside that they just instantly went quiet after we had entered

So, initial security check of sorts passed, the dogs were just fairly quiet, a little inquisitve, sneaking up to sniff at us, but that aside they kind of made themselves clear, Wally was happy to just curl up wherever he pleased, but Masha was a lot more withdrawn, overall we were just encouraged to try and be at ease there and take our time to get closer to them

Things there are hard to tell you much on, however, since then?

We returned and its certainly been eventful!

First night alone was interesting, we quickly learned that neither Rascal's old toys or the new ones we'd got were any use to Masha or Wally, since they've never played with toys before, they just don't get the appeal, like, we were trying for an hour with all sorts of toys, squeaky, bright or bouncy, nothing sadly worked the trick

So, yeah, that felt sad on a couple of levels thinking about all the things they missed out on - like, you know, the essential dog things in life like head out a window with tongues out? - but, I guess it's a work in progress

Then there was the dogs themselves and their lodgings, we'd been kind of coached by the lady at the foster home to try and keep them as outside dogs, but, nope, one night of them in their cage and we just couldn't have the heart to ignore the cries they were making, so, we'd given in and just let them loose around the house, Rascal had full run of the place, so we decided in the end just to let these two have their run too =B

Glad to say that things went well with them and Managan, BUT NOW I'm struggling to think what to type, so much in so few days has happened, I'll share more soon when I hve time to tap~

Welp, it’s all but official, we’re getting doggos!

As promised, I’m going to keep everyone up to date, so, first order of business is that me and Jeri are off to meet the dogs in person finally, where they’ve been staying with the foster family, this is kind of the big moment

We wanna give them the chance to meet us, get used to us and then see about bringing them up to us, Chows are notoriously protective of their homes and wary of folks outside the house, which is why they make really good guard dogs, but also has earned them a bit of a bad reputation =o

So, we need to get them used to us before bringing them up, so, will keep you guys posted as things go, but may well be busy the next few days checking on this fuzzy pair!

Just a quick post this one, hopefully I’ll have more to say to you guys next time and we’ll see how soon these fluffy doggos can come home!

There are so many thanks to say to everyone I don’t know where to start!

Nathan, Mana, Scot, Vosur, Neun, Gamma, Raine, Nina, Ludu, Kendall, Non

All of you guys helped in one way or another, between helping find the funds needed, morale support, spreading word, you’re all wonderful, I’m giddy and dizzy, if I left anyone out, i’m so sorry, just, so excited!

Tomorrow I’m hopefully getting casts removed, the second I’m off the table I’m taking an overnight trip to meet the doggos! All goes well I should have them here by Monday!

So much to arrange, so much to do I don’t even know where to start!

I remember my promises as well, while I don’t think I know how to repay all of you for all your help and Going above and beyond in many a case, I’ll keep to my promises

Expect to see this gallery churn back to life, starting from next week, I, Jasmine Titania Smith-Garcia will promise one journal and one new art piece per week!

Just, the journals may be mostly dog related, lol

Let me get these two here safe and sound, then we can go from there! Wish us luck! =D

I promised I'd keep you guys posted, so, while there's been no progress since my last update - we're $400 out of $500 here - I wanted to at least give you guys something to take a look at over Masha and Wally!

And yes, the ideal timeline to try and get this money together is before Friday, although I'd love to get word sooner than that.

What's all this fuss about?

Well, time for you guys to meet them, Wally and Masha!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/nreq52k1l.....81%29.MP4?dl=0


They're living with the foster family from the rescue group that got them, they've certainly been through wars to get where they have so far, Masha in particular. Apparently they were found having been kept in a shed for six years, Masha in particular was in a bad state where all her fur was matted together:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/avw4zfpw8.....ge004.jpg?dl=0

So much so, she had to be shaved down and why you see her wearing a jacket, just, Chow Chows aren't used to being as cold without their big fuzzy coats

https://www.dropbox.com/s/byftbvy38.....ge003.png?dl=0


So, yeah, they've been doing okay there, and I've been making lots of different enquiries this side about getting them socialised and all their check ups and whatnot, so, hoping if successful that we can leap right in and get started on getting them welcomed and settled in well enough

I'm trying to flog some of my Magic the Gathering stuff to help towards this, I won't advertise much here, not many folks who read this I take who'd be up for that gear, but sadly not many takers IRL either, a brand new Commander set just hit the ground and folks have been dropping pretty pennies on that instead XP

So, yeah, if anyone here happens to be a gamer who is in need of a playmat, maybe holler me?

Trying to think of any other way to make quick cash to fill this gap, I'm trying to think up any alternative services I can provide outside of normal art to reward folks who've been donating - and there have been a good few folks to say thank you to so far, you guys have all been amazing - but I wanna do more to thank folks on this one

It would mean a heck of a lot to bring these two over here and give them the attention they need

Not sure how to end this update journal, so, how about a random Chow Chow factoid?

Chow Chows are famous for their distinctive black tongues, in eastern mythology, when the world was being created as a massive ink painting, a chow chow tried to lap up the ink from the inkwell and their tongues are said to have stayed black ever since!

Hey all!

I'm happy to say that from the last journal, folks have been just plain amazing with helping out rescuing these two dogs, so far we've raised 400 dollars and we're nearing the final hurdles!

You guys have all been great and I'm looking to do anything I can to find a way to get this last 100 bucks, so thank you everyone who has donated, offered morale and boosted the signal through their own journals too! =D

I've started making it official, I'd already began speaking to our vets about the possible new arrivals, taking some advice given to also look around other shelters and such who can offer first time check ups, since they'll be needing a lot of care and attention from the get-go

So, I figured I'd let you guys know more about these doggos! =D


Wally and Masha

These two have had it fairly rough, we think that their old owners tried to breed them but just plain neglected them, stuck for years locked up, but the rescue place say that they've tested and it doesn't look like Masha has had any pups

The two are really close, they aren't siblings, but they stick to each other really tight, like being kept in separate rooms is enough to make them cry, but the two of them are so different, one's this cream color while the other's pure black, so when the two of them are together it's like looking at this dog yin-yang almost, lol

I'm trying not to over anticipate things about them, I only know that if they get here, I should expect anything, I know already that these two aren't just replacing Rascal, that they're very different temperament-wise, that they're really laid back, like, more like Mana as cats than Rascal as dogs

I'm not sure what else to expect, except to expect the unexpected really

Anyhow, I'll keep you guys updated as much as possible as new news arrives!


Until then, just, thank you again to everyone who's donated, boosted or helped so far, and I'll hold to my promise as well

If we make the 500 target, one journal, one upload, at a minimum! If working on pieces more often gets me drawing more, maybe I can see myself picking up the pace or getting multiple pieces a week done like I used to way back, who knows?

On another level, I guess I'd like to think that this week has went better than previous weeks, if only because I've had ths to focus on, less time to get caught up in my own head

All in all, things have been going great, and hope I can keep up the happier tone to go with this!

For those reading this, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to resurface here on FA, I’ve a massive backlog of notes, comments and art to look back into, and I’ll hopefully get to speak to you all again soon, but right now, this journal is kind of my biggest priority.

This journal isn’t easy to write, because effectively I’m about to ask a lot from folks here, and feel very conflicted about asking for this.

Suffice to say, I’ve been struggling with depression a lot, chronic fatigue has set in and it’s not an easy battle by any means, but I’m still fighting it. The worst blow was losing Rascal I think. Although we still have Managan, losing Rascal hit me really hard, but after a long talk, we finally decided we would get a rescue again.

Only thing is - and here’s the selfish bit - among the dogs seen, there’s a pair of dogs that are in need of rescue together, and can’t be separated. And while we’re ready to long term commit to caring for them, there are initial vet bills and costs to getting them here that are making them hard to get past.

I’ve looked at my own savings and everything else, and if I want to do this, I need to raise another 500 dollars.

But I can’t open another Donations for Doodles option, I still owe at least Vosur and Nathan art there in my massive art drought, so here’s the hard part, I’m asking for donations here but haven’t much to offer in return.

I feel like this is a pretty selfish ask, but I’d like to think this is for a good cause in saving not one, but two Chow Chows who’re in bad need of a good home.

So, with not much I can offer, this is me testing the waters.

If I can’t offer a person by person reward for this, what if I were to offer something in exchange if I can meet this goal, say, one journal and one art a week?

Considering it’s life or death for these dogs and I’m not sure how much time they have, I’m more than willing to commit to forcing myself to gear into drawing again if it means helping them, and maybe helping myself somehow.

Bottom line, would that be something folks would be willing to donate to, or is there something else I could try to offer to ask for help towards this?

So, yeah, last two journals have been fairly MTG related, and won't lie, there will be one MTG thing brought up in this journal, but, much later and only as a tiny point, so, yeah

I've said I'm keeping these journals positive and will continue to do so, so, I figure that with my birthday being tomorrow, now was probably as good a time as any to stop, take stock and let you guys see what stuff I'm up to so I can try and keep plowing onward =o

At the moment, the biggest thing for me is trying to keep days structured and productive, even if I feel like I haven't done much, I try to make sure the things I *have* managed are big ones, so generally the main new thing is setting alarm clocks even if I don't have anything going on just to try and make more hours in the day and prevent sleep ins

I'm going to start keeping a diary of my eating habits, so that if nothing else, I can't lie to myself or forget about stuff I've eaten so I can better calorie count, or at least when I get on the scales - something that's incredibly hard to track whilst wearing plaster by the by, lol - I can maybe look at previous diaries of weeks beforehand I made progress and try and work out where I've went wrong, every little helps, right?

I'm definitely trying to fix things card/money wise by trying to stem the flow of cash, which is being overseen and now has my bank account current sitting at the best it has been in like several years, although it's going to be a little rough, all is positive there and I'm still making sure to give myself some loose grip so I don't just snapback on myself from complete deprivation, one thing this weekend was the 25th Anniversary of Magic the Gathering in a set called Masters 25, I never got the card I wanted - Imperial Recruiter - but I had tons of fun in a weird and janky set of cards, it was a bit expensive, but I was given some leverage since this was basically it for my birthday, nothing else big happening =o

Although darned if I don't feel like the 20s are slipping away from me, lol, 28 tomorrow and I'm no sign of slowing down anytime soon! Even if my broken bones double my age =B

It'll be generally quiet, but, eh, all's well and I'm making some progress well~

And in my latest attempt to do better, as well as offering myself a carrot/stick thing, basically now I'm trying to save money by stopping each time from when I would buy a candy bar/fast food that I shouldn't, then taking the money and then putting it aside so I can save it up instead for the big expensive stuff that I'm looking to buy

This is the MTG bit of the journal by the by, lol, but, I wanna say what I'm after and also gush a lil about one of my fave MTG artists, Terese Nielsen, a lady who's been working with Magic since some of its earliest years and still puts out outstanding work each time, with this super abstract and beautiful touch she brings to a lot of cards with WAAAAAAAY more details than are sometimes needed, like, look at this piece she made for the card Descendants Path which is all about making your creatures related to each other stronger, just the whole cycle of a family tree shown off

I do like some of her more simple work that's just simple stated and gorgeous to look at, like Nyx Fleece Ram which is basically Magic's version of the golden fleece, magical sheep that restores your life, so on so forth, but, I do love looking at this, one of the first Magic cards I built a deck around and still like to use it when I can find an excuse =B

So what's all this have to do?

Well, in my last Journal I went and told you guys that I had A GAJILLION Commander decks, and I have a thing where I like to try and get Playmats for any of the Commanders I have, and, well, Terese Nielsen and her wife have a store they've set up online with all of her Magic designs on prints and playmats, INCLUDING Hanna, Ship's Navigator which is one of my earliest Commanders that has still stuck around forever, previously, Hanna's card had really ugly art that never did Hanna justice, but then this version came out and although it has been more widely used and printed since, I'll still never regret shelling out as I did for the promotional version I got way back <3

So, yes, this - and MAYBE later Basandra when I can afford her - are on my big buy lists =D Soooooo far, like 5 bucks down, but, damnit, I'll get there, because I do so love Terese Nielsen's work on these cards and I'll make it my goal to be able to save money enough to get these mats somehow, some way <<

But, for now, gonna call this journal to a halt, all is well, the Pony RP goes onward and I continue to believe in super cute headcanons about girlfriend Magic cards often, lol

Although this page is updated far too infrequently, I hope to have new content up soon as soon as I can get myself to fit better to a schedule and then schedule in some active doodling/writing time! =D

Here's to another year! *Streamers!*

Welp!

I'm happy to say that keeping to my former rules, this journal isn't about anything depressing, more like just a strange and weird conundrum that I've came across and wonder what the heck you guys make of it, one of the things I've been trying - and failing - to do is to make myself a little more organised and try and work on my Magic cards

Y'know, tidy room, tidy mind?

Aaaaaand that involved taking an inventory, where I tried to take a stock of my decks, putting together a list eventually of my Commander decks, resulting in a final headcount of FORTY ONE decks

FORTY ONE Commander decks.

That seems just a little large, like, each deck is 100 cards and well, many of them are incomplete, a lot of these decks are made up of bits and pieces, replacement parts and just in progress... but, huh.

Online on Magic Online, it's a lot easier to make multiple decks because there are so many staple cards that are available and avoids me having to buy/find/trade/procure multiple copies of cards to place into my various decks =o

Buuuuuut now this means looking for balancing or swaying up the cards in a weird scale system to make them fit, but, underlining it all is the weird feeling that MAYBE I'm overdoing it, just a little?

Still, lol, I can't help but feeling slightly tickled at the number, and, well, that's about all I can think of right now, maybe something else I can post up next week with my birthday on Tuesday, see what to share with you guys then!


Aaaaaaand for the rest of the journal, just to finish this one off, here is Jazz's list of Commanders!


EXISTING COMMANDER LIST:


Kemba, Kha Regent - Active
Mathas, Fiend Seeker - Active
Basandra, Battle Seraph (Angel Tribal) - Active
Mirri, Weatherlight Duelist - Active
Meren of Clan Nel Toth (Precon for Beginners) - Active
Meren Version 2 (Updated) - PLANNING
The Scarab God- Active
Kozilek, Butcher of Truth - Active


Grimlock, Dinobot Leader (Werewolf/Transform Theme) - Active (Rework?)
Grimlock, Version 2 (Dinosaur Tribal) - Inactive (Plan)

Alesha, Who Smiles at Death - Active (In Progress)
Doran the Siege Tower - Active (In Progress)

PENTAGRAM CYCLE:
Rhonas, the Indomitable - Active (In Progress)
Oketra the True - Active (Rework)
Hazoret the Fervent - Inactive (In Progress)
Bontu the Glorified - Inactive (In Progress)
Kefnet the Mindful - Inactive (In Progress)

Hazezon Tamar - (Lands matter deck) Inactive (In Progress)
Sen Triplets - Inactive (In Progress)
Ezuri, Claw of Progress - (Morph theme) Inactive (In Progress)
Rashmi, Eternities Crafter - Inactive (In Progress)
Frankie Peanuts - Inactive (In Progress)
Sidisi, Brood Tyrant - (Zombie Tribal) Inactive (In Progress)
Isperia, Supreme Judge - (Sphinx Tribal) Inactive (In Progress)
Mirri the Cursed - Inactive (In Progress)
Yahenni, Undying Partisan - Inactive (In Progress)
Grusilda, Monster Masher - Inactive (In Progress/Planning)
Derevi, Empyrical Tactician - Inactive (In Progress/Planning)


Ramos, Dragon Engine - Active (In Progress)

Marchesa the Black Rose - Active (Rework?)
Hanna, Ship's Navigator - Active (Rework?)
Daretti, Scrap Savant - Active (Rework)

Ayli, Eternal Pilgrim - REBUILD
Teferi, Temporal Archmage - DISMANTLE
Freyalise, Llanowar's Fury - DISMANTLE
Mirri, Cat Warrior - DISMANTLE
Zedruu the Greathearted - DISMANTLE
Arahbo, Roar of the World (1 on 1 Commander Deck) - DISMANTLE/REWORK

Surrak Dragonclaw - (Bear Tribal) PLANNING
Noyan Dar, Roil Shaper - PLANNING


PENTAGRAM CYCLE:
Kytheon - PLANNING
Jace - PLANNING
Liliana - PLANNING
Chandra - PLANNING
Nissa - PLANNING

Welp, I said I'd be using my Journal just for geeking out and happier things, so, let's get started by me talking business on what I'm currently working on!

Currently I have a project I'm working on where I am trying to build not one but multiple Commander decks, based on the five Anthropomorphic Gods of Amonkhet:

Oketra: http://www.artofmtg.com/wp-content/.....het-Art-01.jpg
Kefnet: https://d1u5p3l4wpay3k.cloudfront.n.....616fe125e5f56c
Bontu: https://www.tribality.com/wp-conten.....er-750x375.jpg
Hazoret: https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/asset.....jpg?1491243112
Rhonas: http://articles.edhrec.com/wp-conte.....05/Rhonas2.jpg

Soooo, yeah, Egyptian based Gods are awesome, one I can use that are all at least partially anthro? Yeah, please! Each God is a single color of the five colors of Magic: White, Blue, Black, Red, Green

Sooooo, I decided that if I have five Gods I could make each of them a Commander deck, then, once they're completed, they assemble a game mode called 'Penatagram', where you sit down with one of the five colors in a circle, the two players on either side of you are your two ally colors, the colors that sit beside one another on the color wheel/color pie that shows the colors on the back of a Magic card:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipe.....-card_back.jpg

So, see on the card back White is next to Blue and Green? Each color has a whole psychological profile what they do and how they play, some are kind of obvious, when you look across from White it's enemy colors are Red and Black, so, you know, Black and White, opposites and such

Anyhow!

You sit down and have your allies beside you and your enemies in front of you, unlike a normal multiplayer game of Magic where you aim to be the last person standing, in Pentagram, you win when you eliminate both your enemy colors decks

The kicker being, whilst you have allies that are on your side and will help you beat one of your enemies? At least ONE of your enemies is their other ally and BOTH your allies are enemies with each other, it's really weird and politically charged and I love those kinds of games~


So, building these decks is a work in progress

Currently I made a build of the Oketra deck, but I've not been as happy with it, so I'm trying to come up with different themes for each deck and rebuilding the Oketra build so far to come up with themes that don't immediately fit the stereotypes on each color hopefully


WHITE: "The Immortal Truth" - A deck focused on a large number of indestructible creatures and abilities granting it since Oketra relies on having other creatures on the board to be able to attack/defend
BLUE: "Make Amonkhet Great Again" - No solid theme yet apart from it's a Trump joke, Kefnet can only attack/block if you have a really big hand, so, Trump, tiny hands...
BLACK: "???" - Urrrrrrsh, Bontu is the one I'm struggling most on ideas for yet how to work that one out <<
RED: "Perverted Furry" - Stiiiiiiill in progress between a couple ideas here, I wanna try and use some very strange and janky red cards that focus on Red giving other players cards and at the same time playing with a very gambling feel since Hazoret can only attack/defend if you use up all your cards
GREEN: "Indomitable" - Rhonas can only attack/defend if you have another strong creature in play, but he's got deathtouch and indestrucibility, so I decided to have fun with rather than just a deck full of green big creatures to build a deck that abused Rhonas' deathtouch ability to have opponents creatures fight him and die, or using Rhonas' awesome stats to meet the requirements for other cards that need huge power creatures like Vehicles and such =O


Sooooo, yeah, those are my current projects, even went and got a playmat that matches each God, and went all out and got special foil versions of each God to play with, the only thing I'm lacking now is to try and get Bontu's playmat to complete the set~


I do have a bunch of other decks in progress I'm still trying to piece together, but these are my current babies, lol, seeing what I can do to put them together =B

Allllllthough the sooner I can compile a list of my existing Commander decks and start seeing which ones I can breakdown for parts and which ones need parts the better

Man, a lot of moving parts to watch here, but yay, it's fun to work with moving parts and see what I can put together with new themes and ideas =B

Welp, as you guys saw, I finally went and uploaded a bunch of art!

So, yes, still alive and still floating over here, and yes, still working through a lot of things over this side, but as far as news there? You know the old saying about 'no news being good news'?

Well, for now, that's about to become official journal policy that I set myself the rule that this journal is now not gonna be used for injury reports, goings on that involve my mental health or living situation at all, just, y'know, random junk or stuff I feel like sharing =o

Basically? Decided that this is all about being more positive mentally and that it starts with writing about whatever the heck hits me, see if that makes it easier for me to write to you guys and not have to worry about what I'm writing

I'm still here, still doing okay, that's all the take away you need to worry guys =B

And yes, lol, I'm still slow at getting myself to get energy up to complete things, so, sorry folks who've been commenting, I'll see about replying to the latest uploads, buuuuuut for purposes of making sure to avoid exertion, gonna have to draw a sandline saying that I'll not be able to go back to previous comments before the newly uploaded pics =o Need to try not to overdo things right now

I'll say at least that things in the house have blown over, that we've kind of talked everything that we could and whilst it wasn't exactly a calm talk, there's now a pretty set battle plan for going forward and my money issues have been removed, so, big plus there =o

I'm still alive, I've got a plenty supportive wife and family and happy to hopefully speak to you guys some more again, and I didn't even need to lose much of anything, overall? Things have worked a lot for the better and will hopefully continue, long as I put in the work

Promise next journal I'll have something to share and geek over~

Until then, let's see if I can work on getting a proper pic of my updated fursona and whatnot!

Hey all

So, yeah, there's a lot to cover I guess

I've got a backlog of folks to reply to individually, but, I've got a high today, which has been a good day all in all, so, going to write this up while I have that energy and hope that I can get the follow through to get my replies and stuff done whilst I have that energy?

We'll see I suppose?

Yeah, grammar, commas, a little frantic and a little over the place but I'll take this over the last month or so and the doldrum I got myself stuck in over the Winter period

Not gonna lie, has not been fun over all and we'll just start with the bad new first is that sadly just around Xmas my pet dog Rascal passed away

Yeah, that was a big hit and it really didn't help me on top of the crapload that 2017 has been piling up on our door

She was an old dog, so, I guess it was something every owner has to go through - happened before with me and Flower, so I'm no stranger there - but right now it really was a bad time, even if it's never a good time

It just started with her being sick and then the vet told us it was cancer and I just couldn't believe it, Jeri was the one who went to the vet since it was too much trouble to take me in the wheelchair, I just expected her to come back with some medicine for Rascal and then she calls me with that

It just came so far out of nowhere I couldn't process it, the vet said that because she was such a big dog that it just happens that quickly, but I still couldn't handle it

The vet wanted to put her down there and then and I asked they give Rascal one more day, just to say goodbye

And I hated myself for it, asking one more day, knowing she was suffering, gave that girl all the love we could, even Mana went and slept by her one last time before Jeri went and took her away the next day, ended up I just couldn't bring myself to go with them

Goddamn I'll miss that fluff ball

People used to tell me that my mom and dad were crazy getting me a Malamute that big, lol, what with me and obviously, well, me

So, Rascal has caused at least three broken bones in me inadvertantly between tripping/knocking over/misc? But performed a Lassie at least once and got help for me and just been there for us forever

I'd be laid up in bed and she'd just always be there right beside me

Guess that's the big hole, just, reminding yourself you don't need to do the things you need to for them

Mana's still here and we've talked about getting another dog, but, maybe not right now, a little quiet time maybe and we'll see



So, on the back of that bad news, apologise to you guys who I promised the art dump for, but it really threw me for a loop, so much so that medical help was required and I was kept under a lot of observation

During that time I did a lot of self reflection and have a couple of things I guess that I want to get off my chest right now

For a starters, I need to redesign my fursona

Furry me has been unchanged for at least a decade, and I've never altered her since, where she's lived in this nice little cartoon limbo where she always breaks bones and just gets back up by the next episode completely the same

Whereas real life me has had health issues that didn't get the reset button and subsequently?

I have to admit to maybe vanity trimming on furry me, who is significantly skinnier than I am

Feels weird thinking back now, trying to think when I had a metabolism that could deal with being bedridden like several months a year, but despite diets and physio and attempts at exercise (don't think I can call what I try proper exercise really) I am what the kids these days would call 'fick'? That's right, right?

Soooooo, yeah, I'm not sure how to go about it, having drawn furry me the same way for a decade, but, healthy start to things is admitting things I've been hiding to myself and will try sometime to show Jazz a little bit rounder, I'd experimented slightly with Faith in when she evolved into a Ninetales, then kind of chickened out of when people started questioning it as weird and maybe cottoning on that something was out of place with how stark difference there was between Vulpix-Faith and Ninetales-Faith

Yeah, Faith fick too, and until I do something about that, so am I, lol

I'm now part of a group - one of several - about weight, because unfortunately and unhealthily, I somehow decided a while ago that overeating was a good substitute for drugs or drinking problems

And so as I've gotten older my oversnacking has caught up with my overclocked body and as you may well guess, that's not been helping me with my number of injuries I've had over the years, all that extra weight is something I've carried around a lot

And although - goddamnit I love them so - Squirrel Girl and Stormer are really wonderful for positive body image on being overweight? I need to do something to help me get a little thinner, not, like, model size thin? But at least maintainable?

Over the last year or so, this one had kind of been drumming on me, but, this journal's already long enough, not gonna go into detail about my jealousy of someone else getting rid of their weight and such x_X

So yeah, overeating, what else?

Yup, overspending, if I was unhappy? I managed to decide that I could fill that void with either overeating or just overspending, where I am unhappy enough to admit with myself that I spent around nearly 1000 dollars on Magic Online last month before I finally hit my lowest of lows

In the end? I only got found out because I suddenly started playing Jeri's Overwatch and she wondered where the heck all the new skins she's gotten had came from and thought her account had been hacked from all the micro transactions that went out of our account x_x

So, that was a fun weekend argument that went heated and really drove a lot of this out into the open

But, here we are?

I'm here and I'm still standing and me and Jeri are still okay, in fact, maybe a little better for everything? Weirdly?

we talked and talked and talked

It cut deep a lot of areas and went to places I won't readily share here, but demons are demons and it maybe takes a lot to fight one, and in some cases takes learning from someone else how they fought their demons to know how to tackle your own

In this case, addiction comes in many forms and it's easier than ever before nowadays to fall into

And what I've quickly seen as far as spending? Or eating?

You can't just go cold turkey, if I try and switch to a full on health-fest, my body will reject it, crave and crave and crave and then I binge which is just not helping at all

Same with spending

If I have a really bad day? Then decide the only way I can feel better is to pay 80 dollars for a playset of Noble Hierarchs that I'm hardly going to use, but want to? It's really easy to fall into a trap where I can be caught trying to make myself feel better by running to those vices

So what does this mean here?

Responsibility for one thing

What am I asking from you guys?

Not much, no money certainly, me and Jeri did the adult thing and I have a loan now that we're using to work back my debts and consolidate things so I'm no longer gonna hide bills or such

I'll still have a budget of things I'm going to be allowed, although that'll need to be solidified? *Shrug*

What I'll ask is a little more patience, the art I'm uploading today is what I have so far, as little as it is, once I can finally finish these owed DfDs, I'll have a load of my mind and I'm going to halt all 'premeditated' art I guess, so, no more DfD drives or any such, nor ideas of requests/exchanges/etc as we're lucky enough right now if I can sporadically come up with a new idea for any at all <_<

And that's simply because I can't handle it right now, any art that isn't owed for folks who donated money, I can't focus on, which is part of my problems right now that my attention and thoughts are absolutely shot to pieces

It takes forever to get me to do things right now, oversleeping or taking too long to just get up, having to find motivation just to keep putting one leg in front of the other is just a thing with clinical depression, and unfortunately when you're not able to move your legs it's really easy to let yourself just get pushed back I guess

So, yeah, this isn't much art today I'm uploading, but it's some, and every piece is one more piece off my mind

Once I've got myself somewhere better, we'll see how I handle under my own steam again and get going once more

The only other favor I wanna ask you guys is to be a safety valve for me, I've had my intervention IRL and all that people are going to keep checking on me and making sure I'm not importing dozens of boxes of Magic cards, but, I can do a lot of damage online too, which includes commissioning art

So, effective today, I'm going to look into the whole idea of blacklisting myself from buying commissions, and see if I can work out a way of spoonfeeding myself art of my fursona somehow, we'll see on that front, needs a bit of work >_>

I guess Rascal was the straw that broke the camel's back, but, like anything with me that breaks, at least now we know what's broken me and Jeri can work on putting me back together again?

It's easy to blame bad things that happened last year for getting me where I am, but, it doesn't much help me back down, and I'm at least okay enough to say that I've got folks willing to help lead me down again

Hey all,

Sad to say that this is only the fifth journal I've done in the last year or so.

Suffice to say it's been hard going with 2017 and no sooner than we beat this year into the ground do we find out it's likely just a fake-out and 2018 is the real final boss waiting round the corner for us to beat us in our false security =x

Still?

Holding in here, and it's been a little rough getting through the last few months between finances, health and family and general woes that much a lot of you guys have been going through

Still, happy enough to say that me and Jeri's anniversary last week went by well enough, if only a little unexcitingly, hate to think we've already hit the doldrums of our married life a few years in, lol, 4 years, not quite enough for a mile stone you get on giftcards, but enough to feel weirdly out of place, it's all a blur these days

And sad to say the Holidays have been nothing but a blur as well, haven't really been able to soak it all up as much as I love to each year, I'm also sad to say that this greeting may be the biggest gift I can really give many of you guys to say Happy Holidays, since getting and sending gifts has been a bit off the table of recent

I'm holding in though and I have art to upload, in fact, have had it for like a month or so, but, I've been afraid to upload for fear of quality or not having every piece I wanted uploaded, but, I've determined myself that if nothing else is finished, I'll upload what I have for Xmas day and let you guys see what I have so far =o

Still, I hope all you guys have a holiday a little less rough than me and hope that you have some calm and cosy Xmas wishes from all of us here on my side <3

I don't know what else to write for now, feels honestly like this isn't enough after so long silent, but, maybe more can be squeezed out of me later this week, we'll see =o

For now, still here and hope to speak to you guys again shortly~

I'd mentioned in a reply to someone earlier in the previous journal something about Jeri that I loved and cringed about at the same time, and the more I think about it, the more I just wanted to upload a new journal and give Jeri plenty spotlight

Suffice to say I'd went and kind of retreated a bit after last week, things felt a little tender and it took me some time to crawl back out, hopefully for the better, I can't lie how it felt getting stuff off my chest

But still, back to Jeri... she saw I'd been working myself up into a bit of a state over thinking about everything all over again, and, when we were talking about it and whatnot, Jeri came up with this observation about our anonymous asshat:

"It was his problem he brought a knife to a gunshow."

I laughed, and couldn't believe how much I laughed at her posing and showing off and just, caught somewhere between hysterics and tears, it was weird, but, I really felt better afterwards

And I felt better speaking to everyone else here too, so, again, thanks everyone who has been so supportive, I'd like to think that it all goes somewhere, where to we'll see I guess,


I hadn't much thought making this journal apart from that, and I guess the posts I gave yersterday, I planned to journal as well as upload but just kind of ran out of steam whilst posting and all , maybe we'll see if the eclipse gives me some feral boost of strength to finish up here

Well, I don't really ever go anywhere past my own doorstep, but, I'm always happy when I get a care package or two, and my annual influx from Fox from the Transformers convention came with a bundle of signed bits and bobs, the ones based on art from artists there or even some of mine or Cr0's arts were amazing highlights, but I did also get a few other pieces~

http://imgur.com/a/xc8Lz

And yes! That top one is a Magic print, for you see, it turned out the same time there was the transformers convention going on was also a Magic GP going on, Pete Venters as a resident guest and everything =D

Hell, the guy might not have the envious position of having art-ed Slaughter, that shows Mirri getting killed (Why the heck do I always back characters who get offed as my faves? >_> Seriously) but he's a Magic classic, and Rak Sha is a staple of my current cat deck aplenty

Not to mention, I had some insane luck, when I accidentally ended up getting a 120 dollar card out of a draft, a foil Kiki Jiki, which I was able to send with Fox to get signed in person~

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=50321&type=card

Grrrrrk

Running out of steam, so will end this here and try more stuff later, but, will speak to you all soon once I get through my inbox~