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MOVING ACCOUNTS.
General | Posted 11 years agoHey guys. I've decided after a long, hard think that I am going to switch accounts. As such, you can now find me at 
bewzhound! I'll be posting a few of my old pieces there to get the account started.
For those who have watched me since the beginning, I must thank you wholeheartedly. You guys have been so supportive over the years for my art, and it means a lot. FOLLOW ME IF YOU WANT TO SEE MOAR!
bewzhound! I'll be posting a few of my old pieces there to get the account started.For those who have watched me since the beginning, I must thank you wholeheartedly. You guys have been so supportive over the years for my art, and it means a lot. FOLLOW ME IF YOU WANT TO SEE MOAR!
Sorry with my lack of activity.
General | Posted 11 years agoBeen having a hastle with real life shit, and been trying to get a commission finished. I'm still alive, though! And I have big changes in the works.
Okay, I admit it.
General | Posted 11 years agoI'm a huge (no pun intended) fan of chubby guys. And bellies.
And as of yesterday I am dating a guy whom is larger in the belly, and I love the fuck out of said guy. He's handsome, and kind, and ohgod I just wanna cuddle the fuck out of him. <3
And as of yesterday I am dating a guy whom is larger in the belly, and I love the fuck out of said guy. He's handsome, and kind, and ohgod I just wanna cuddle the fuck out of him. <3
Holy shit, this dream tho gaiz
General | Posted 11 years agoOkay, so I don't usually talk about my dreams openly unless asked, but I gotta tell you all about this dream I had last night.
So, I went to bed at the early hours of the morning as usual, and I have no idea why, but I dreamed of this odd program game thingy that was owned by these mysterious, unidentifiable beings. The game was basically a simulator that was very akin to something like the Na'vi bodies in the movie "Avatar", where you laid down on these beds with a group of people for a test run of this game. In the game itself, you could simulate anything and everything you could imagine doing, including flying, transforming, what have you.
So, me and this big group of people went into the simulated "dream state", and you had these tokens that they gave you to keep as in-game currency, which somehow showed up in the game itself. Before you could get the currency though, you had to buy trial/game time for a reasonable price, though I have no idea how I paid for my trial time seeing as how I was broke in this dream of mine. When you were inside the dream, these gold in-game/real-life coins could be used to buy these small, cylindrical items that were basically items that could summon more land and territory for you to explore. I remember asking one of the "admin" people/unidentifiable beings what they were, and when they explained it, I said "Oh, so it's like a game buffering whilst you play, so as you throw out these Terrain Pills, it's adding more information for the game to buffer. Right?" And they said to me, "Basically, yea, but in a different way. You can see as it buffers. Watch," and one of them took a big forest based Terrain Pill and, when they threw it really far ahead of us as we were walking along this path, the blank white area ahead turned into miles and MILES of forest, with HUGE Red Pines and sequoia trees, with spanish moss and all sorts of plant matter around us that seemed to just pop up from the blank white void.
Eventually, an entire continent seemed to spring up from everyone throwing Terrain Pills, and at one point when I'd gotten away and attempted to fly by flapping my arms, I tried my hand at transforming into a bear.
THIS PART OF THE DREAM WAS FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD.
I looked down at my hands, and I was concentrating really hard on the image of my fursona, but as I watched my hands, the skin turned dark, much like the skin on a bear underneath its fur. My fingers started to morph into small little stubby paw fingers, and I could literally feel as my body morphed first into a black bear, and my hands eventually fully turned into paws. Then, as I focused on the feeling, I turned myself into a more accurate depiction of my 'sona, though without all the fantasy-like stuff - I was just a big ol' Kodiak/Black bear mix. When I'd fully transformed, I could hear creatures far away in this mountainous area roaring, and so I inhaled and let out a loud bellow of a roar. Lemme tell you, it was empowering, and I ran through the forest free and unhinged by everything.
It was about fifteen minutes of this in the "dream state" before the trial period ended, and we all were forced to wake up and look at this menu where we could choose to pay for a membership, which cost $27.95 (precisely) a month, or you could by more trial time for only $5.
This dream was so fucking cool, and it pictures exactly what I wish could happen for me and a lot of my furry friends whom also want to be able to turn into what they see as their true form. God damnit, I kinda wish I hadn't woken up, so I coulda done it all again! xD
So, I went to bed at the early hours of the morning as usual, and I have no idea why, but I dreamed of this odd program game thingy that was owned by these mysterious, unidentifiable beings. The game was basically a simulator that was very akin to something like the Na'vi bodies in the movie "Avatar", where you laid down on these beds with a group of people for a test run of this game. In the game itself, you could simulate anything and everything you could imagine doing, including flying, transforming, what have you.
So, me and this big group of people went into the simulated "dream state", and you had these tokens that they gave you to keep as in-game currency, which somehow showed up in the game itself. Before you could get the currency though, you had to buy trial/game time for a reasonable price, though I have no idea how I paid for my trial time seeing as how I was broke in this dream of mine. When you were inside the dream, these gold in-game/real-life coins could be used to buy these small, cylindrical items that were basically items that could summon more land and territory for you to explore. I remember asking one of the "admin" people/unidentifiable beings what they were, and when they explained it, I said "Oh, so it's like a game buffering whilst you play, so as you throw out these Terrain Pills, it's adding more information for the game to buffer. Right?" And they said to me, "Basically, yea, but in a different way. You can see as it buffers. Watch," and one of them took a big forest based Terrain Pill and, when they threw it really far ahead of us as we were walking along this path, the blank white area ahead turned into miles and MILES of forest, with HUGE Red Pines and sequoia trees, with spanish moss and all sorts of plant matter around us that seemed to just pop up from the blank white void.
Eventually, an entire continent seemed to spring up from everyone throwing Terrain Pills, and at one point when I'd gotten away and attempted to fly by flapping my arms, I tried my hand at transforming into a bear.
THIS PART OF THE DREAM WAS FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD.
I looked down at my hands, and I was concentrating really hard on the image of my fursona, but as I watched my hands, the skin turned dark, much like the skin on a bear underneath its fur. My fingers started to morph into small little stubby paw fingers, and I could literally feel as my body morphed first into a black bear, and my hands eventually fully turned into paws. Then, as I focused on the feeling, I turned myself into a more accurate depiction of my 'sona, though without all the fantasy-like stuff - I was just a big ol' Kodiak/Black bear mix. When I'd fully transformed, I could hear creatures far away in this mountainous area roaring, and so I inhaled and let out a loud bellow of a roar. Lemme tell you, it was empowering, and I ran through the forest free and unhinged by everything.
It was about fifteen minutes of this in the "dream state" before the trial period ended, and we all were forced to wake up and look at this menu where we could choose to pay for a membership, which cost $27.95 (precisely) a month, or you could by more trial time for only $5.
This dream was so fucking cool, and it pictures exactly what I wish could happen for me and a lot of my furry friends whom also want to be able to turn into what they see as their true form. God damnit, I kinda wish I hadn't woken up, so I coulda done it all again! xD
Q&A!
General | Posted 11 years agoTagged by 
aiky-poo!
RULES :
1. Pick one of your Fursona's.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your Fursona.
3. Tag at least four people to do this meme!
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal
Fursona: Jebaris!
1. What is your name?
Jebaris Pirene Bjornson's the name, at'cher service.
2. Do you know why you were named that?
Well, my mom thought about namin' me after someone famous at first, but my dad thought he'd gimme a name that sounded pretty but strong at th'same time. Bjornson cause my dad's, well, a bear! My mom's a tiger though and didn't like it all that much. Oh well. :/
3. Single or taken?
I'm single at tha moment. Always lookin' ta take some pretty ladiefurs and gents out though fer a good time!
4. Have any abilities or powers?
I got a genetic predisposition to earth and nature Elementalism. I think the doctor's said it comes from a long line of shamans or mysticism in my fam'ly tree, since my ancestors came from Scandanavia and Prussia. Lots o' mythology and legends ta be found there. I can make flowers grow, manipulate plant matter and morph the earth beneath my paws ta my own will, but I never try ta abuse my gift. I mostly use it though ta grow my Herb! Hehe!
5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
Motherfucker, I ain't no Mary Sue!
6. What's your eye color?
Honey!
7. How about hair color?
My "hair" fur is a lighter color o' brown than my regular fur. :3
8. Have you any family members?
Blegh, unfortunately. I tend ta choose my fam'ly, though, and so I got lots o' brothers and sisters that I like that ain't related by blood.
9. Oh? How about pets?
I got a pretty little kitty cat named Yamata. She's my babygirl <3
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
Cops, idiots, creepy furs and humans, "Fursecution" and extreme Feminism.
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
I like ta go out clubbin' on Mondays with a buncha human buddies and friends o' mine! I also like chattin' with my buddies aiky-poo, 
grimshamrock and 
XKymorieArtfulX on Skype, as well as Drawin', Paintin', gamin' on my PC, smokin' lots of the sacred herb, trippin' on shrooms and Acid, and lots of other things that'd take up a whole page and more ta list!
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
Unfortunately, yea. :/
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
Psssh, nah. I don't got tha heart t'kill anyone.
14. What kind of animal are you?
I'm a proud Kodiak/Black bear mix, with just a splish splash o' tiger on my mah's side!
15. Name your worst habits.
I tend ta fidget when I'm nervous, and I used ta bite my claws up until recently. Oh, and I grind my teeth. Eugh!
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
I look up ta people like Brother Ali, Vincent Van Gogh, and all tha people who bless me with their presence and love. I also look up to
airu and 
pac a lot! I been influenced by their style a lot in my growth as an artist!
17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
Neither! I'm Pansexual. :3
18. Do you go to school?
Not at tha moment, no.
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
I dunno, really. Maybe wanna have a kid, but marriage is a big commitment, and I dunno if I'm inta that.
20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
I got no idea. LOL
21. What are you most afraid of?
Big corporations ruining and abusing the sacred and true herb, as well as one day losing my mah and papa.
22. What do you usually wear?
Anything that's ridiculously baggy, big black hoodies and HATS. I fuckin' LOVE hats!
23. What's one food that tempts you?
Too many ta list just one! But my favorite temptation food is my papa bear's signature comfort food of Pork hocks and Sauerkraut!
24. Am I annoying you?
Nope!
25. Well, it's still not over!
Gnarly, man <3
26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
Got no clue. I don't like bein' around a buncha richie fucks that don't care 'bout me or mine, though. Scrubs, Gutterpunks and SHARPs are where my heart is. <3
27. How many friends do you have?
Plenty!
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
CHICKEN POT PIE, MY THREE FAVORITE THINGS! I also really like Pumpkin pie.
30. Favorite drink?
Horchata, Hard ciders, Absinthe, PBR, Black Label beer, and MUTHA FUCKIN' COFFEE.
31. What's your favorite place?
Minneapolis, Minnesota! South Minneapolis represent, all the way!
32. Are you interested in anyone~?
More than just a few x//3
33. That was a stupid question.
Nah, it wasn't.
34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
Either. :3
35. What's your type?
Someone who's got a big heart, knows themselves, and someone who loves ta trip and get high as much as me. <3
36. Any fetishes?
I like chubs. Hairy guys is also a big thing fer me! Oooh, and pet/master play. I wear my collar loud and proud!
37. Seme or uke?
I tend ta be a sub, but I'm leanin' towards dom.
38. Camping or indoors?
Both! Campin's fun, 'specially with a buncha hippies and punks!
I ain't tagging anyone xD
aiky-poo!RULES :
1. Pick one of your Fursona's.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your Fursona.
3. Tag at least four people to do this meme!
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal
Fursona: Jebaris!
1. What is your name?
Jebaris Pirene Bjornson's the name, at'cher service.
2. Do you know why you were named that?
Well, my mom thought about namin' me after someone famous at first, but my dad thought he'd gimme a name that sounded pretty but strong at th'same time. Bjornson cause my dad's, well, a bear! My mom's a tiger though and didn't like it all that much. Oh well. :/
3. Single or taken?
I'm single at tha moment. Always lookin' ta take some pretty ladiefurs and gents out though fer a good time!
4. Have any abilities or powers?
I got a genetic predisposition to earth and nature Elementalism. I think the doctor's said it comes from a long line of shamans or mysticism in my fam'ly tree, since my ancestors came from Scandanavia and Prussia. Lots o' mythology and legends ta be found there. I can make flowers grow, manipulate plant matter and morph the earth beneath my paws ta my own will, but I never try ta abuse my gift. I mostly use it though ta grow my Herb! Hehe!
5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
Motherfucker, I ain't no Mary Sue!
6. What's your eye color?
Honey!
7. How about hair color?
My "hair" fur is a lighter color o' brown than my regular fur. :3
8. Have you any family members?
Blegh, unfortunately. I tend ta choose my fam'ly, though, and so I got lots o' brothers and sisters that I like that ain't related by blood.
9. Oh? How about pets?
I got a pretty little kitty cat named Yamata. She's my babygirl <3
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
Cops, idiots, creepy furs and humans, "Fursecution" and extreme Feminism.
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
I like ta go out clubbin' on Mondays with a buncha human buddies and friends o' mine! I also like chattin' with my buddies
aiky-poo, 
grimshamrock and 
XKymorieArtfulX on Skype, as well as Drawin', Paintin', gamin' on my PC, smokin' lots of the sacred herb, trippin' on shrooms and Acid, and lots of other things that'd take up a whole page and more ta list!12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
Unfortunately, yea. :/
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
Psssh, nah. I don't got tha heart t'kill anyone.
14. What kind of animal are you?
I'm a proud Kodiak/Black bear mix, with just a splish splash o' tiger on my mah's side!
15. Name your worst habits.
I tend ta fidget when I'm nervous, and I used ta bite my claws up until recently. Oh, and I grind my teeth. Eugh!
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
I look up ta people like Brother Ali, Vincent Van Gogh, and all tha people who bless me with their presence and love. I also look up to
airu and 
pac a lot! I been influenced by their style a lot in my growth as an artist!17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
Neither! I'm Pansexual. :3
18. Do you go to school?
Not at tha moment, no.
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
I dunno, really. Maybe wanna have a kid, but marriage is a big commitment, and I dunno if I'm inta that.
20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
I got no idea. LOL
21. What are you most afraid of?
Big corporations ruining and abusing the sacred and true herb, as well as one day losing my mah and papa.
22. What do you usually wear?
Anything that's ridiculously baggy, big black hoodies and HATS. I fuckin' LOVE hats!
23. What's one food that tempts you?
Too many ta list just one! But my favorite temptation food is my papa bear's signature comfort food of Pork hocks and Sauerkraut!
24. Am I annoying you?
Nope!
25. Well, it's still not over!
Gnarly, man <3
26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
Got no clue. I don't like bein' around a buncha richie fucks that don't care 'bout me or mine, though. Scrubs, Gutterpunks and SHARPs are where my heart is. <3
27. How many friends do you have?
Plenty!
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
CHICKEN POT PIE, MY THREE FAVORITE THINGS! I also really like Pumpkin pie.
30. Favorite drink?
Horchata, Hard ciders, Absinthe, PBR, Black Label beer, and MUTHA FUCKIN' COFFEE.
31. What's your favorite place?
Minneapolis, Minnesota! South Minneapolis represent, all the way!
32. Are you interested in anyone~?
More than just a few x//3
33. That was a stupid question.
Nah, it wasn't.
34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
Either. :3
35. What's your type?
Someone who's got a big heart, knows themselves, and someone who loves ta trip and get high as much as me. <3
36. Any fetishes?
I like chubs. Hairy guys is also a big thing fer me! Oooh, and pet/master play. I wear my collar loud and proud!
37. Seme or uke?
I tend ta be a sub, but I'm leanin' towards dom.
38. Camping or indoors?
Both! Campin's fun, 'specially with a buncha hippies and punks!
I ain't tagging anyone xD
Tooth grinding, Therapy, and things n' stuff.
General | Posted 11 years agoWell hey there, everyfur. It's me, your humble and happy Stoner Bear!
So lots of things have happened since I last updated my journals. I'm gonna go into a lot of detail to catch y'all up, so if you like hearing about relatively pointless but perhaps-somewhat interesting life stories, read on.
THERAPY
I've finally, FINALLY started therapy. I started around the beginning of September, and have been going twice a week for about two to three weeks now, though my therapist and I have decided to limit the visits to once a week, now. At the start of my sessions, I took two tests to see where I was at when it came to Anxiety and Depression, and for both at the start, I got a 14/15 for Anxiety (fifteen meaning Severe Anxiety Disorder) and a 25/27 for Depression, meaning that I have VERY severe Depression Disorder. I was having thoughts of suicide, I couldn't seem to get myself out of bad and irrational thoughts of worry or guilt or self-loathing, and I had begun to totally cut myself off from the real world by being reclusive to my small room/living space, at the current moment.
On Friday, about two to three days ago, I tested once again for the Anxiety and Depression after having been on Citalopram, or Cervexa, for about two weeks, and my scores in Anxiety had gone from 14 to 3, and my symptoms of Depression had gone down to 5. For me, it is a HUGE improvement, and my therapist is very happy to see such a change in mood and overall productive life. I feel like I've gotten my life back, and I no longer have bad thoughts or irrational fear making things such as current art projects I should've been working on difficult, neigh on impossible to do with such low motivation and mood, as well as self-esteem.
However...
BRUXISM (Tooth grinding)
The side effects are starting to become very noticeable, especially due to the fact that I have been up since yesterday at about nine AM, so that's almost an entire twenty-four hour period I've been away due to the fact that, when I began to lay down to sleep in the early hours of the morning, I noticed this weird grit between my teeth. After multiple times of crunching down on what I thought was leftover food, I opened my mouth to find a chip of enamel from my back molar that had come off of my teeth.
Looking up symptoms and reasons as to why this has happened, I've come to find out that I have a case of severe Bruxism, or tooth grinding, due to the medication I am on for my current mental state. SSRI's tend to trigger tooth grinding, so it's not unheard of for this to happen. Along with tooth grinding, I've been having moments where I am falling off to sleep, and my facial muscles will tense and I will only take notice after my face starts to ache from unnecessary facial clenching. Due to this, I have been waking up with minor headaches, and my jaw is throbbing at points when I've been clenching my teeth so much, as well as minor pain from it all. I'm hoping my therapist and doctor can help me find out what to do, since I do like not having the symptoms of my Anxiety and Depression constantly attacking my mood and overall uplifted feelings, however I also don't want to lose my molars due to this issue. I kinda like my teeth, thank you. B[
TRANSGENDER
As some of you may have seen, I have changed a little bit of info on my Artist info for my FA profile. I have recently found out and understood, after dealing with my mental issues, that I am Transgender! I figure that, due to my inability or lack of dealing with the most important situations (specified above), I wasn't able to really grasp what I felt about my body until the fog of things had cleared a little bit. As a kid, I always acted more like a boy than anything - I had my hair cut into mohawks constantly at age seven and onwards, I'd wear boy clothing, I loved wrestling, and I generally did a lot of things that young tykes of the masculine or boyish sort did.
The cherry on the sundae of it all though was when I would constantly wish I had boy parts, and that I wouldn't grow breasts when I got older. I also had gone up to my dad at about age five and asked him (as I do remember doing so), "Dad, can I be a boy when I grow up?", to which my papa bear replied, "Well, there's always a possibility of that happening, when you're older." My dad loves telling that story in particular, and now refers to me very affectionately as his "Little Bear". <3 Rather than going by my original name, Madelaine, I've started to go by my newly designated name - Bjorn.
So that's pretty much the jist of what's been going on for me these last few weeks. 8I
So lots of things have happened since I last updated my journals. I'm gonna go into a lot of detail to catch y'all up, so if you like hearing about relatively pointless but perhaps-somewhat interesting life stories, read on.
THERAPY
I've finally, FINALLY started therapy. I started around the beginning of September, and have been going twice a week for about two to three weeks now, though my therapist and I have decided to limit the visits to once a week, now. At the start of my sessions, I took two tests to see where I was at when it came to Anxiety and Depression, and for both at the start, I got a 14/15 for Anxiety (fifteen meaning Severe Anxiety Disorder) and a 25/27 for Depression, meaning that I have VERY severe Depression Disorder. I was having thoughts of suicide, I couldn't seem to get myself out of bad and irrational thoughts of worry or guilt or self-loathing, and I had begun to totally cut myself off from the real world by being reclusive to my small room/living space, at the current moment.
On Friday, about two to three days ago, I tested once again for the Anxiety and Depression after having been on Citalopram, or Cervexa, for about two weeks, and my scores in Anxiety had gone from 14 to 3, and my symptoms of Depression had gone down to 5. For me, it is a HUGE improvement, and my therapist is very happy to see such a change in mood and overall productive life. I feel like I've gotten my life back, and I no longer have bad thoughts or irrational fear making things such as current art projects I should've been working on difficult, neigh on impossible to do with such low motivation and mood, as well as self-esteem.
However...
BRUXISM (Tooth grinding)
The side effects are starting to become very noticeable, especially due to the fact that I have been up since yesterday at about nine AM, so that's almost an entire twenty-four hour period I've been away due to the fact that, when I began to lay down to sleep in the early hours of the morning, I noticed this weird grit between my teeth. After multiple times of crunching down on what I thought was leftover food, I opened my mouth to find a chip of enamel from my back molar that had come off of my teeth.
Looking up symptoms and reasons as to why this has happened, I've come to find out that I have a case of severe Bruxism, or tooth grinding, due to the medication I am on for my current mental state. SSRI's tend to trigger tooth grinding, so it's not unheard of for this to happen. Along with tooth grinding, I've been having moments where I am falling off to sleep, and my facial muscles will tense and I will only take notice after my face starts to ache from unnecessary facial clenching. Due to this, I have been waking up with minor headaches, and my jaw is throbbing at points when I've been clenching my teeth so much, as well as minor pain from it all. I'm hoping my therapist and doctor can help me find out what to do, since I do like not having the symptoms of my Anxiety and Depression constantly attacking my mood and overall uplifted feelings, however I also don't want to lose my molars due to this issue. I kinda like my teeth, thank you. B[
TRANSGENDER
As some of you may have seen, I have changed a little bit of info on my Artist info for my FA profile. I have recently found out and understood, after dealing with my mental issues, that I am Transgender! I figure that, due to my inability or lack of dealing with the most important situations (specified above), I wasn't able to really grasp what I felt about my body until the fog of things had cleared a little bit. As a kid, I always acted more like a boy than anything - I had my hair cut into mohawks constantly at age seven and onwards, I'd wear boy clothing, I loved wrestling, and I generally did a lot of things that young tykes of the masculine or boyish sort did.
The cherry on the sundae of it all though was when I would constantly wish I had boy parts, and that I wouldn't grow breasts when I got older. I also had gone up to my dad at about age five and asked him (as I do remember doing so), "Dad, can I be a boy when I grow up?", to which my papa bear replied, "Well, there's always a possibility of that happening, when you're older." My dad loves telling that story in particular, and now refers to me very affectionately as his "Little Bear". <3 Rather than going by my original name, Madelaine, I've started to go by my newly designated name - Bjorn.
So that's pretty much the jist of what's been going on for me these last few weeks. 8I
Streaming complications! Sorry Dx
General | Posted 11 years agoHey guys, I'm sorry, but I might not have any streams to show for a while. My computer has derped hardcore twice now after trying to do the stream with Manycam, and I have no idea why. I'm gonna have to find out the issue as to why and find a new streaming software. Until then, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to stream :(
Furs in the Unity of Cannabism
General | Posted 11 years agoHey there, watchers!
Over the past few months now, I have been trying to think of a group that could join my fellow watchers whom are also stoners together in a common goal - The acceptance and reverence of the inherent goodness of the Cannabis plant. As I'm sure you all know, Cannabis is a sacred thing for many people, including a few of you guys out there whom watch me. I believe that we, as fellow furs especially, would benefit greatly by joining together in a tribe or clan of sorts in the name of peace, love, tolerance and unity within one another. It would be a group where we all could share our experiences with this holiest of herbs and exchange our moments of clarity and insight to one another, in hopes to form a much better understanding of both one another, and this sacred herb we all partake in.
I don't know though, what do you guys think? If any of you are interested, please don't hesitate to collaborate with me! I would love to hear your thoughts and insight on the matter!
Over the past few months now, I have been trying to think of a group that could join my fellow watchers whom are also stoners together in a common goal - The acceptance and reverence of the inherent goodness of the Cannabis plant. As I'm sure you all know, Cannabis is a sacred thing for many people, including a few of you guys out there whom watch me. I believe that we, as fellow furs especially, would benefit greatly by joining together in a tribe or clan of sorts in the name of peace, love, tolerance and unity within one another. It would be a group where we all could share our experiences with this holiest of herbs and exchange our moments of clarity and insight to one another, in hopes to form a much better understanding of both one another, and this sacred herb we all partake in.
I don't know though, what do you guys think? If any of you are interested, please don't hesitate to collaborate with me! I would love to hear your thoughts and insight on the matter!
Updated commissions list!
General | Posted 11 years agoJust to let you guys know, I have updated the commissions page of my profile. I know a lot of you have been curious as to where the price listings for commissions were, so there they are! If you do choose to buy art from me, I request any and all inquiries to go through notes, and I will help you flesh out your general idea for a picture. Any and all payments and tips can go to empelectronica@gmail.com!
Thank you!
General | Posted 11 years agoThank you to everyone who visited my test stream today! I much appreciate your patronage, and I'll be sure to do more streams in the future <3 I LOVE YOU ALL!
Anyone wanna be in a comic type picture with me?
General | Posted 11 years agoI need two more furs to add to this picture that I am currently doing! It's a comic style outlay, with text bubbles and err'thang. This won't be a YCH or anything, as I'm not asking for payment. I just need two other furs who'd like to be in a riot/revolution based picture.
Not meaning to start drama, but...
General | Posted 11 years agoPlease, to the person in question and whom this journal is meant for, I only have one thing to say.
Please just stop and leave me alone. I have my reasons for what I did, I am not going to apologize for stuff I did simply for following my gut feeling that, over the years, got stronger.
Leave me alone and please move on. I am not going to be goaded into replying to you and letting you pull me into a flame war. You have shown me very clearly that you are not good people, from what I have experienced. The only reason I did what I did when it came to that group was because I wanted to join in with the group. People learn and change from experiences, and that experience that I had with you and you all was good, up until a certain point.
I'm not gonna be guilt-tripped, I'm not going to be goaded. I said nothing to you up until recently because I wanted to MOVE ON. I suggest you do the same, because I really don't feel like continuing this shit any further. Killin' my good vibes with the drama, man.
EDIT: Also, I do artwork for the friends on here because I respect them and have known a good deal of them for a long time, and they respect me. I do artwork for people I love because it's my way of expressing that love and caring. If I continue to get any notes through FA from you or anyone else from the group, I will be taking necessary actions with the admins and I will be blocking people.
Please just stop and leave me alone. I have my reasons for what I did, I am not going to apologize for stuff I did simply for following my gut feeling that, over the years, got stronger.
Leave me alone and please move on. I am not going to be goaded into replying to you and letting you pull me into a flame war. You have shown me very clearly that you are not good people, from what I have experienced. The only reason I did what I did when it came to that group was because I wanted to join in with the group. People learn and change from experiences, and that experience that I had with you and you all was good, up until a certain point.
I'm not gonna be guilt-tripped, I'm not going to be goaded. I said nothing to you up until recently because I wanted to MOVE ON. I suggest you do the same, because I really don't feel like continuing this shit any further. Killin' my good vibes with the drama, man.
EDIT: Also, I do artwork for the friends on here because I respect them and have known a good deal of them for a long time, and they respect me. I do artwork for people I love because it's my way of expressing that love and caring. If I continue to get any notes through FA from you or anyone else from the group, I will be taking necessary actions with the admins and I will be blocking people.
Thinking of making FA my sole art-posting site.
General | Posted 11 years agoI'm getting tired of DeviantART, in all honesty.
No matter what I post, nobody looks at it nor comments, and things like MLP re-colors get more views and attention. Not saying that I'm trying to get attention, I just simply don't feel as if my artwork is appreciated there.
On FA, I have friends that love my artwork, and I love all of theirs. Everyone here seems more inclined to come together and share an experience with one another, whereas DeviantART from what I have seen has honestly just gone to the crapper. At least here there's people who I share more common interests with.
No matter what I post, nobody looks at it nor comments, and things like MLP re-colors get more views and attention. Not saying that I'm trying to get attention, I just simply don't feel as if my artwork is appreciated there.
On FA, I have friends that love my artwork, and I love all of theirs. Everyone here seems more inclined to come together and share an experience with one another, whereas DeviantART from what I have seen has honestly just gone to the crapper. At least here there's people who I share more common interests with.
R.I.P. Robin Williams.
General | Posted 11 years agoI know there's others whom have done this already, but Robin was a great inspiration of mine, and he was my all time favorite comedian to date, right next to George Carlin and Andy Kaufman. <3
What dreams may come, Robin... R.I.P.
What dreams may come, Robin... R.I.P.
THBD RaidCall channel!
General | Posted 11 years agoAnyone feel like talking whom has RaidCall? It's a free voicechat program that you can make channels with. I recently made a channel for anyone and EVERYONE who feels like coming on and having a chat with me! You can't miss my group - The Hot Box Den, of course.
RaidCall Website - http://www.raidcall.com/index.html
RaidCall Website - http://www.raidcall.com/index.html
Why I like Babyfurs.
General | Posted 11 years agoSince I was a kid, I always hated children. Honestly, children are the worst in many ways, and I'm sure a lot of you furs can agree with me. Cubs ain't always the kindest or sweetest, but I do like 'em at the same time. Some cubs are so quirky and amazing, it's hard not to like them! However, in general, I tend not to like them.
This is the reason though that I LOVE LOVE LOVE babyfurs.
Babyfurs are adults who can go into a kid's mindset - big cubs, I like to call them, sometimes. <3 If kids were more inclined to act more like adults, I'd most likely be more inclined to like cubs. Not only that, but I can understand that yearning to go back to being a baby, or a kiddo. That urge to be innocent and curious and adventurous, and to have a second chance at childhood... Oh yea, I can totally get behind that!
Idk, just wanted to post a journal about it. :3
This is the reason though that I LOVE LOVE LOVE babyfurs.
Babyfurs are adults who can go into a kid's mindset - big cubs, I like to call them, sometimes. <3 If kids were more inclined to act more like adults, I'd most likely be more inclined to like cubs. Not only that, but I can understand that yearning to go back to being a baby, or a kiddo. That urge to be innocent and curious and adventurous, and to have a second chance at childhood... Oh yea, I can totally get behind that!
Idk, just wanted to post a journal about it. :3
So I've decided...
General | Posted 11 years ago...That I am going to get myself a fursuit made.
I think, in the back of my mind, I had been promising myself that, once I dreamed of myself as how I envision I would be as who I truly am (Jebaris IS me, but you get the point), I'd move onto making what I saw in my dream a reality.
A few nights ago, I briefly dreamt of myself as my bear self, though I didn't really see my face. I DID however see my paws, and my arms, and how I was covered in fur, and I also felt my tail. I believe it to be a sign that I need to make my dream a reality, and from now on, I'm going to be saving some money and designing my suit! Expect to see concept artwork within the next few days <3
I think, in the back of my mind, I had been promising myself that, once I dreamed of myself as how I envision I would be as who I truly am (Jebaris IS me, but you get the point), I'd move onto making what I saw in my dream a reality.
A few nights ago, I briefly dreamt of myself as my bear self, though I didn't really see my face. I DID however see my paws, and my arms, and how I was covered in fur, and I also felt my tail. I believe it to be a sign that I need to make my dream a reality, and from now on, I'm going to be saving some money and designing my suit! Expect to see concept artwork within the next few days <3
My reaction to seeing me on someone's 'favorite artist' list
General | Posted 11 years agoA note to my twelve year old self.
General | Posted 11 years agoHey there, maddy.
It's you, from the future. Trust me, I know it sounds weird and amazing, and I know you've always kind of thought of cloning yourself and having another you, but you gotta believe me and put aside the fantasy shit for a few seconds, kiddo, okay?
If you don't believe this note, I'll prove it to you. You were born at 10:35 am on a Friday morning, may fifth, '95. You're really into anime, and you wanna fit in at school with the kids by wearing that ridiculous Naruto headband (trust me, it doesn't look cool at all). CONvergence is something you look forward to every year, and when you were a kid, you saw a big, yellow tarantula on your leg that made you scared of spiders and creepy crawly things, but either nobody believes you saw it, or people just shrug it off, and you hate that shit.
I'm sending you this letter to tell you a few things which you're gonna need to know, or else in the future, shit gets all fucked up.
Firstly, kids don't like you. I know it hurts to hear, but no matter what you do, kids are gonna be dirty fucking bastards who'll do anything to either exclude you, piss you off, make you cry, and make you wish you were dead. What you have to understand is that, after highschool, those kids don't mean jack shit. Oh, and Susie's an uptight old lady who takes shit too seriously. That 'need for a muffin' thing was hysterical and you and mom KNOW it. Lol
Secondly, if you don't want those kids to fuck with you, for christ's sake, DON'T EGG THEM ON OVER YOUTUBE. Granted, a death threat through video is messed up to make towards a classmate, and you're NOT a crazy bitch. People DO like you, believe me. In the future, you're pretty popular with dad's friends at the Saloon. You'll see what I mean in about seven or so years.
Thirdly, weed is awesome. Enough fuckin' said. Trust me, bruv.
Fourthly, and this is VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT, SO LISTEN UP, FUCKER.
You know that guy Wolf? Yea, you know who I mean. That nice native guy with the three cute kids who you just adore the hell out of?
Stay away from him.
Don't ask why, and DON'T ignore my advice. STAY. AWAY. FROM. HIM. I can't tell you why, but I will tell you that if you do anything with him, or let him stay in your life, you're gonna throw away your childhood and something you SHOULD save for someone who's not a sick motherfucking pedo. He's bad news, and you need to stay the fuck away from him, or else Eyabey, Zeke and Evee are gonna get taken away.
your future is bright as hell, kiddo. You are amazing, and you are beautiful both inside and out. Don't stress, even when it comes to Grandma and Forrest. They love you very much, and you should appreciate your time with them as much as possible.
Give grandma a hug for me... And Forrest, too. I miss them a lot...
-From your nineteen year old self.
It's you, from the future. Trust me, I know it sounds weird and amazing, and I know you've always kind of thought of cloning yourself and having another you, but you gotta believe me and put aside the fantasy shit for a few seconds, kiddo, okay?
If you don't believe this note, I'll prove it to you. You were born at 10:35 am on a Friday morning, may fifth, '95. You're really into anime, and you wanna fit in at school with the kids by wearing that ridiculous Naruto headband (trust me, it doesn't look cool at all). CONvergence is something you look forward to every year, and when you were a kid, you saw a big, yellow tarantula on your leg that made you scared of spiders and creepy crawly things, but either nobody believes you saw it, or people just shrug it off, and you hate that shit.
I'm sending you this letter to tell you a few things which you're gonna need to know, or else in the future, shit gets all fucked up.
Firstly, kids don't like you. I know it hurts to hear, but no matter what you do, kids are gonna be dirty fucking bastards who'll do anything to either exclude you, piss you off, make you cry, and make you wish you were dead. What you have to understand is that, after highschool, those kids don't mean jack shit. Oh, and Susie's an uptight old lady who takes shit too seriously. That 'need for a muffin' thing was hysterical and you and mom KNOW it. Lol
Secondly, if you don't want those kids to fuck with you, for christ's sake, DON'T EGG THEM ON OVER YOUTUBE. Granted, a death threat through video is messed up to make towards a classmate, and you're NOT a crazy bitch. People DO like you, believe me. In the future, you're pretty popular with dad's friends at the Saloon. You'll see what I mean in about seven or so years.
Thirdly, weed is awesome. Enough fuckin' said. Trust me, bruv.
Fourthly, and this is VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT, SO LISTEN UP, FUCKER.
You know that guy Wolf? Yea, you know who I mean. That nice native guy with the three cute kids who you just adore the hell out of?
Stay away from him.
Don't ask why, and DON'T ignore my advice. STAY. AWAY. FROM. HIM. I can't tell you why, but I will tell you that if you do anything with him, or let him stay in your life, you're gonna throw away your childhood and something you SHOULD save for someone who's not a sick motherfucking pedo. He's bad news, and you need to stay the fuck away from him, or else Eyabey, Zeke and Evee are gonna get taken away.
your future is bright as hell, kiddo. You are amazing, and you are beautiful both inside and out. Don't stress, even when it comes to Grandma and Forrest. They love you very much, and you should appreciate your time with them as much as possible.
Give grandma a hug for me... And Forrest, too. I miss them a lot...
-From your nineteen year old self.
[URGENT] Open for commissions
General | Posted 11 years agoSo, allow me to explain the sudden urgent commissions (which will most likely be open for a good while until I get a stable form of income).
As some people know, I am supposed to be a Personal Care Assistant, or PCA, for short, and I am supposed to be taking care of a diabetic friend of mine whom is more like a mother than anything to me. Her son is a boy I've dated and have known for a long, long time, ever since I was a cub.
Keywords here being "Supposed to".
The Company that I am supposed to be on the payroll for is giving me the runaround due to a woman whom works there having a son whom, so far, has done little to no work for my not-mom, though he is still getting paid for work he doesn't do. If the company hires me and the son of my not-mom, he'll be moved off of the payroll. This is something that SHOULD happen, because my not-mom requires a PCA whom can assist her with housekeeping and general care, as she is a cervical cancer survivor in remission, a diabetic and a sufferer of Lupus.
They don't want to put me or my not-mom's son on the payroll because this woman whom I am having to deal with doesn't want her son to lose his place, and as such, they've given me excuses such as using a pencil to fill out forms rather than pen, EVEN THOUGH THEY DIDN'T SPECIFY THAT I HAD TO DO SO AT ALL. Nowhere did they ever say or point out I had to use ink to sign these forms.
The wait to receive my PCA numbers is 30 to 60 days. I completed the forms in March, and have been waiting since then to start getting paid. Now, I have to wait ANOTHER 30 to 60 days to see if I get my numbers. It is bullshit, and I am irritated. I should have been doing official paid work for my not-mom a month ago, but they've fucked with things and now I must wait longer.
So, being that this is the case, I require funds to pay for, not only rent (which is fairly cheap - $200 a month), but the plane ticket that I'd gotten to get away from my now ex-girlfriend in Florida. I am desperate and am in need of business, and as such I am willing to offer cheap commissions.
Sketch busts - $10
Sketch full body - $20
inked busts - $15
Inked full body (No shading) - $25
Inked full body (soft shading) - $30
Badges - $5
Inked full body (shading and background) - $40
Extra characters - $5
I can and will send info for payment through notes. And please, to all my watchers, PLEASE get the word out about my commissions if you so feel like it! I appreciate and love the feedback I get from all of you, as well as your patronage to my business. Thank you all very, very much!
As some people know, I am supposed to be a Personal Care Assistant, or PCA, for short, and I am supposed to be taking care of a diabetic friend of mine whom is more like a mother than anything to me. Her son is a boy I've dated and have known for a long, long time, ever since I was a cub.
Keywords here being "Supposed to".
The Company that I am supposed to be on the payroll for is giving me the runaround due to a woman whom works there having a son whom, so far, has done little to no work for my not-mom, though he is still getting paid for work he doesn't do. If the company hires me and the son of my not-mom, he'll be moved off of the payroll. This is something that SHOULD happen, because my not-mom requires a PCA whom can assist her with housekeeping and general care, as she is a cervical cancer survivor in remission, a diabetic and a sufferer of Lupus.
They don't want to put me or my not-mom's son on the payroll because this woman whom I am having to deal with doesn't want her son to lose his place, and as such, they've given me excuses such as using a pencil to fill out forms rather than pen, EVEN THOUGH THEY DIDN'T SPECIFY THAT I HAD TO DO SO AT ALL. Nowhere did they ever say or point out I had to use ink to sign these forms.
The wait to receive my PCA numbers is 30 to 60 days. I completed the forms in March, and have been waiting since then to start getting paid. Now, I have to wait ANOTHER 30 to 60 days to see if I get my numbers. It is bullshit, and I am irritated. I should have been doing official paid work for my not-mom a month ago, but they've fucked with things and now I must wait longer.
So, being that this is the case, I require funds to pay for, not only rent (which is fairly cheap - $200 a month), but the plane ticket that I'd gotten to get away from my now ex-girlfriend in Florida. I am desperate and am in need of business, and as such I am willing to offer cheap commissions.
Sketch busts - $10
Sketch full body - $20
inked busts - $15
Inked full body (No shading) - $25
Inked full body (soft shading) - $30
Badges - $5
Inked full body (shading and background) - $40
Extra characters - $5
I can and will send info for payment through notes. And please, to all my watchers, PLEASE get the word out about my commissions if you so feel like it! I appreciate and love the feedback I get from all of you, as well as your patronage to my business. Thank you all very, very much!
Back from frolicking in the woods with hippies.
General | Posted 11 years agoEeyup. 8I I went to the rainbow gathering. Was a city girl, and then came back a dirty, dirty hippy bear.
Guess who's birthday it is? <3
General | Posted 11 years agoEeeeyup. 8U I'm nineteen, now. Good lord, my sister's almost thirty... I'm almost twenty. It's fuckin' crazy, I tell ya.
I have found my life's purpose
General | Posted 11 years agoSo, as some of you know irl, I'll not be going to CONvergence this year in Bloomington. Instead, I have taken it upon myself to think of what I need to do...
And it is clear to me what I need to do in my life.
I am going on a Pilgrimage! Not a pilgrimage to anywhere in particular, but a Pilgrimage of life. This year, I am hoping to travel the roads and rails, and I'm going to be going to the Rainbow Gathering this year to start it all off.
I have meditated hard about this, and the spirits that be have said I need to go on a Pilgrimage to better myself. Education is of the least importance when it comes to schooling right now, the most important thing that I need to do is to travel.
As of late, I've been having a yearning to travel. Whenever I see a set of train carts, I always have an urge to just jump on and leave this place, though I have no idea what. Something is just pulling me towards adventure, to see what I can see and build who I am off of my experiences. SO! If any of you are going to the Minnesota Rainbow Gathering, please don't hesitate to drop me a note and gimme a heads up. Contact info would also be welcomed if you wanna hang at the gathering, as well as anyone who has any early info when the gatherin' is gonna be.
And it is clear to me what I need to do in my life.
I am going on a Pilgrimage! Not a pilgrimage to anywhere in particular, but a Pilgrimage of life. This year, I am hoping to travel the roads and rails, and I'm going to be going to the Rainbow Gathering this year to start it all off.
I have meditated hard about this, and the spirits that be have said I need to go on a Pilgrimage to better myself. Education is of the least importance when it comes to schooling right now, the most important thing that I need to do is to travel.
As of late, I've been having a yearning to travel. Whenever I see a set of train carts, I always have an urge to just jump on and leave this place, though I have no idea what. Something is just pulling me towards adventure, to see what I can see and build who I am off of my experiences. SO! If any of you are going to the Minnesota Rainbow Gathering, please don't hesitate to drop me a note and gimme a heads up. Contact info would also be welcomed if you wanna hang at the gathering, as well as anyone who has any early info when the gatherin' is gonna be.
Been thinkin' about death...
General | Posted 11 years ago... And I realize that I'm not so much scared of it. I mourn because there are so many good and great people out there that I'll never get to meet. I mourn for my uncle because I loved him, and I miss the times we spent together.
I mourn, but I am not truly upset. How can one be angry at something that happens to us all? I know that some may be mad due to relatives that have had their lives come to a quick end due to human intervention, such as violence and other such manners. It is okay to be angry, but know that anger eats us all from the inside out. Let anger go and simply remember your loved ones as they were. Laugh at the funny times, and smile at the happy times.
I am not scared of death, truly. Death is something that happens eventually. I embrace it, though I cry because I will miss the people around me, and the time I had here on this beautiful, beautiful home we all call earth.
I hope that, when I die, whenever it may happen, that people know that I love every single one of you. EVEN AND ESPECIALLY the people I have met on the internet, and on FA. All of you fill my life with such joy and eagerness to perservere and keep going in my hobby to draw, and you all make me laugh! xD
To those on my watcher list whom have lost someone, I know your feelings. And it is alright. Your loved ones are forever loved by YOU, in the memories you keep and the times you had. They live through all of you, and I believe that they were happy to have all of you in their lives.
Just idle thoughts, and I'm sorry to bring such a somber subject up. It's just something I had to get off my chest! xD;
I mourn, but I am not truly upset. How can one be angry at something that happens to us all? I know that some may be mad due to relatives that have had their lives come to a quick end due to human intervention, such as violence and other such manners. It is okay to be angry, but know that anger eats us all from the inside out. Let anger go and simply remember your loved ones as they were. Laugh at the funny times, and smile at the happy times.
I am not scared of death, truly. Death is something that happens eventually. I embrace it, though I cry because I will miss the people around me, and the time I had here on this beautiful, beautiful home we all call earth.
I hope that, when I die, whenever it may happen, that people know that I love every single one of you. EVEN AND ESPECIALLY the people I have met on the internet, and on FA. All of you fill my life with such joy and eagerness to perservere and keep going in my hobby to draw, and you all make me laugh! xD
To those on my watcher list whom have lost someone, I know your feelings. And it is alright. Your loved ones are forever loved by YOU, in the memories you keep and the times you had. They live through all of you, and I believe that they were happy to have all of you in their lives.
Just idle thoughts, and I'm sorry to bring such a somber subject up. It's just something I had to get off my chest! xD;
GUESS WHO CAME IN THE MAIL?!
General | Posted 11 years agoI got muh payment for the commission...
In the form of a SNUGGLY ASS BLACK BEAR. AWW YEEE.
I have dubbed him "Bull". He will be my squishy, adorable fuzzface <3
In the form of a SNUGGLY ASS BLACK BEAR. AWW YEEE.
I have dubbed him "Bull". He will be my squishy, adorable fuzzface <3
