Oh hey look Krispup is having another generous offer again. Check it out, and stay for the art ^_^. All the rules and information can be found <a href='http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/.....p;lt;/a&gt;. What are you waiting for? Go look.

So, I'm living in GA. I'm moving my account to  Liquidchaos wanting to have the same name here that I do have on DA. Over the next couple weeks I'll be transferring my stories and most of my furry related art over there. I'll make sure to toss up a "Goodbye" when I'm finally able to have it all there.

So Mina is having a raffle, and it ending in like four days. But this woman is definitely an unknown surprise for talent, not to mention a hand that does traditional art. So I have to support her, simply because I've been killing my hand to do it to.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3595413/ is the place you want to go. Go give her some love.

Im going through and clearing out stuff. Because its that time and I dont pay attention to nearly as much folks as I use to. That and well I want to get active again cause I hate not having inspiration to write..ok not inspiration but I get lazy and I need to be challenged again. Something to activate the brain. Have stuff you'd like to see? Hit me up people.

Im so bad about keeping up to date with FA and DA lately. Im sorry guys. I've some new pieces to add in for my writing that I"ll get it up soon as possible. I hope your all wel.

Really..I haven't posted anything for messages for 2 years?! Holy crap >>

Well I am alive. If you couldn't guess, just had a nice bunch of crap that's started to kick at me. Either way. I'm back in Cali, trying to catch my feet again...umm yeah. Anyways. <3 and happy to see all the great pieces.

Well I have abit of extra money again and I have a few ideas I would like to have commision. A few of them involved slightly errotic pictures and a few are furres. I don't have a lot I can spend but Ive been wanting these guys to have some quality pictures for whats in my head.

Sooo those of you who read my journal and such could point me in the directions of folks that are commisioning and do a good job of it and all I would really appreciate it. Specially if it will help someone out. Because I've had a lot of folks help me out and would like to return it if my commision could do such.

Anyways away from that. Im doing well. Looks like I might be heading to nevada to live with some lovely woman I know out there. Beautiful and actually have a job that I can get a decent position in once im settled and such. Has me so excited specially consdiering the fact that most of my other job searchign has fallen on its face. So wish me luck.

I hope the rest of you are doing well. Keep good thoughts for Crescent as she's got a lot on her plate and for Kuami (I forget her name on here blah) she's got mid terms coming up to face.

I can't believe its been a year since I've updated on here, Im such a slacker! *chuckles*

I really am alive, so any rumors or misconceptions are false on that factor ^^ Recently made my way back to Fresno,CA to live with my sister and brother in law for a time. Last week and such been hunting up jobs and trying to figure out whats going on in life for me. So far the job huntings not been going so well which has me worried as i’ve only two weeks to find one before I have to move to go to Mom’s house. Which all in all isn’t really that bad of a deal, it just makes me worried about living with them. they haven’t nessarily been doing well in there household and I don’t want to an added burden. Not to metion a added stress in some of the tensions going on around there.

My reasons for moving back to Fresno is William, and as they were going to mephis I didn’t think it would be for my best interest to follow him and Jacob down to where there family is. Sad to say that it caused some hurt feelings which Im not very happy about. I didn’t mean to step on toes or break a promsie. Which Im ashamed to admit that I did. One of those hard decisions to make in life sadly,but for the most part it seemed like the right one. I just feel bad that I hurt folks in my decision. Not something easy to live with,but from William and Jacob both I learned a lot which im not sorry about. I still love Jacob as my brother who I wish was my blood. He was good to me and helped me back onto my feet which I didn’t think was possible. He provided me with a job that earned me a roof over my head and food in my stomache. Not to mention he helped to keep me clothed, without him I probablly would’ve ended up into a really bad part of life. In a way he saved me from myself and gave me the means to live that I could accept without injury to my pride. For that I will always be thankful and grateful to him. He still stand by me even though I broke my word to him. Something that is very humble and honestly quiet astonish. I can only hope to repay him one day, who knows with what life has to offer.

William, what can i say about him? He gave me a year and a half of his life and love. Something that I wont ever regret or be sorry about. He taught me so much about myself and helped me get over some of my nasty past. He helped me become a stronger woman with a bit more confident in myself. Something that I didn’t think would come about. Yet through his love and support I’ve become better. So many fond memories with him, of our time together and the fact we’re able to walk away as friends says something of his character. I miss him as he was a huge part of my life, but as I said. It was my choice to break up with him. Cant say I regret it other than I had to hurt him by leaving him to complete my choice. For that I will be eternally sorry and hope that one day he’ll forgive me for it. I wish him nothing but the best in his life and hope he finds someone who can be everything that he wants.

Job hunting, yea thats been loads of fun let me tell you. *Insert huge sarcasm* Constantly getting up and walking to go out and about to try and find something hasn’t been exactly fun for me. My body doesn’t like the constant activity and likes to protest often me going out and about. To bad my body doesn’t get a say in whats happening. Lots of hot showrs and advil help to keep going and stay strong for it. That and the loving suport of my friends and family that help more than anything. Just hope that eventually it will pay off so I can save up money and get back out of fresno. Its the armpit of the US I swear and I dont like it here. Only reason I came back was because my
Sister and greg were willing to open there home to me for a time. Again lover my mother but I want to try avoiding actually returning ’home’ yet again after everything. its given me time to gather myself and make sure Im sticking to what I want. I’ve a few options open to me if I save up enough money and I intend to take up on at least one.

My hopes for the future is that I’ll be able to save up enough money to move up near OR. Either to find a place around my ’sister and brother’ in portland or make a home for me in Eugene with the family and friends that I have there. Mom S has been wonderful and suportive through everything and I love her and her family so dearly. So if things work out rightly I should be able to find a home up there with her and her son Tony. Who is one of my best friends in the world, he’s been there through so much shit and hasn’t walked away from me even in my nastier times. SO Im hoping by someone’s good grace to be up and on my feet to head out of the Armpit. Just keep me in your prayers and such, I can use all the help possible at the end of the day to meet the next challenges and day.

Love for all of you and hope your all well in life. that nothing but happiness and joy greet you each day.

All love and hugs for you,
Beth

Well i am now a manager at MCDs so I am putting in anywhere from 50-80 hours of work in every two weeks now. So my time is even less than my own. But to add on top of that there just been some really nasty stuff going on with my best friend/ex bf new gf. It got seriously bad the other night that my Wolfie, told everyone that if he talked to her than hed be down one friend.

Not that I blame my wolf, I was really pissed off to. She was being extremely selfish. Originally she'd told my friend Trey that she could join william and I to go drink with oen of my co-worker and some of our other friends. (Adam,Cook, monaco, Petty) WELL! when we told him to ask her again to make sure before her break, she told him that she didn't want him going and yada-yada-yada. So we go back to the house waiting for her to call so that one of us could anwser. She called he anwsered, will got the phone and what the reason was for why Trey couldnt come with us was because she didn't want Him drinking with out her. because she wanted to go to another friggin party..THEN Procceded to throw a fit after she got back on teh phone with Trey....So he told her he was going to go then. And we all were taking off, he decided he wasn't going to anwser his phone, so William,adam,cook, and I (beside him) each got like 3 phone calls a peice of her tryign to reach him. NOT to mention a hysterical call on my anwsering machine. THEN procceds to throw a fit at work so seh gets off almost two hours before she had to (cutting folks short) to come and talk to him and steal him away anyways..even after they patched..so she won in the end anyways because he wasn't allowed to stay and hang out with us...he might have been there 40 minutes totally. AFTER goign and pickign up another fellow worker who was supose to come, her staying ten minutes and then leaving as well...

then today getting off of work SHE RIPPED INTO HIM because he didn't immediately go see her when he told her give me a sec, and went to feed himself...GOOD GOD LET THE POOR MAN HAVE SOME DIGNITY! Honestly, I never new he was such a...pushover..I think had I really seen this side of him I don't believe I would've ever gone out with him..it really makes me sad to think that. Because he is a wonderful guy, but I mean I keep hearing this girl talk about having an allowance from him for all this shit, and they're going to be moving out in teh summer time to live together..HELL! Two weeks into there relationship they were saying they loved each other...I just can't see this ending well.

On top of this I had been talking to Trey as well about the fact that well I honestly felt like I was loosing him. ANd some of my observations of what this girl is like without him being around. And you know when I told him I felt like I was really loosing him...HE DIDN"T SAY A DAMN THING TO ME! WTF kind of crap is that? I just really have this nasty feeling that his gf isn't going to be welcomed into our home anymore, and well thats the end of what was once a decent friendship.....Im crushed.

So things haven't been to well. Though some brighter news on my part, I get to go home on the 27-30 for my twin's bacherolet party. Which is exciting news to me. She helped pay for my ticket and I'm paying her back as I can. Not to mention next month is her weddin and we all found tickets...I won't tell you the shit that was pulled about my sisters reception and Trey's new gf. But in the end she's coming as well..which isn't going to end well..I can just see me loosing my temper and coming home to a quiet household again..away from that thought. I love you all hope your life is going good. Take care and well if you want my email to keep in contact let me know. I always appreciate havin a pen pal through email!

Love peace and chicken grease (0)<

yea im not so good about keeping this one updated, play around on DA way to much as Liquidchaos on there. But Im trying to make sure im on here to check things out as well ^^

I just found out and Im just stunned, Steve Iwrin the crocidle hunter is dead. I just really can't believe it. I remember when he first started showing up and I just couldn't help but laugh at some of the stupid shit he did. I mean really crodiles are dangerous, but he made a whole friggin world pay attention to wildlife because of the crap he did. It just really blow my minds that we lost such a strong figure for the evironment. While he went in one of the ways I can't help but think that might have made him happy, a stingray barb through the heart, there won't ever be another like him. Truely.

I know a lot of our youth knows about nature and stuff because of the things Steve did. I mean he turned a whole generation that wasn't interested in the outdoors onto it. Not to mention he was such an activist for the wildlife that surrounds us each day and then the ones that didn't. I always thought he did some stupid stuff, but still he was a great man and a wonderful guy for the things he did. While I may not have known him personally, furture generations reall are at a lost for not geting to learn from him. He'll be sorely missed for sure...

Greetings all from the land known as Skitzie and such forth!

I know I haven't been putting much up in my journal and such, for that I'm sorry to hide the adventrues and bliss I've found in my life. *soft giggle* Sorry feeling silly, but in all seriousness I am doing very well folks. Life just seemed to have caught up with me in advengane.

Life as a worker in society again has caught up with me gaining anywhere to 30-35 hours a week at McD's has sucked a lot of the soul out of me when I come home, so that Im not inspired or willing to put anything up. Body havin to readjust and get use to the long hours again has been a bitch to handle. YET! I am very happy and enjoying myself. I've made a few friends there and with having to catch the bus so often. Been a very good time for me. Also after having worked there for little under a month really, *isn't sure of the exact date* I got offered the position of becoming a Crew Trainer starting on Sept 1st. How fucking awesome is that? Its not going to take me busting my ass for 2 1/2 years to get a promoion!! And the Store manager is friggin awesome. I couldnt have asked for a happier place.

Recently my sister came down to visit me, which was so exciting. I haven't seen my twin since sometime in June and missed her greatly. For all that we have our bad moments at time and get upset at each other she is my twin and I love her dearly. Didn't really spend as much time as i should've with, which I regret. But it was wonderful to have her make the 14 hour drive up here and get to have a couple days with her around me and the boys. It was really what i needed in here and it made me extremely happy to have her here. Was sad to see her go, and sorry that we didn't leave on so great terms because of some of my stupidness but yanno I love her and she's my family in the end.

Recently been trying to deal with issues over my hand injury. Trying to set up a date with QME and the bastards I've tried call royally fucked me over so now i have to wait upon the Insurance company to set up a date and such for me...not happy about that but its something to have at least and to get over. The plus side i get to go home and visit friend and family I haven't seen since March. Not to mention see my mom again and harass her about taking care of herself some more. After all if I don't do it, she'll push herself. God knows K and I are one of the few that can tell her to shut up and sit down for a bit without getting our heads taken off. Not to mention it would be nice to be around her for a little time, specially with not having to worry about her trying to pull some mother shit on me. Which she's bound to try but oh well we'll parry that attack when it comes. I do hope that my boys will be able to come with me.

Trey and I split up recently, something that didn't go bad between us thankfully and he's become one of my dearest and nearest friends. Admist the few that I can count, I am going out with my roommate's friend William Feltch now. Dearheart and like pack to me along side jacob and Trey. Val been hanging out with us and she's become pack-sister as well. As she's almost another version of me in a different time. Scary really it is when we get together and have at it.

The boys Trey and William have been teaching me how to play D&D, totally fanfuckingtastic! Love and adore it as I guessed i would since I'm so heavily into the rp on avidgamers.com and such. Been really frun playing and campagining with 'em. Though Im only a Elfin Ranger, keeping it basic but eventually Lily Elvenheart will become what she truely is once I understand it all. So its been exciting, especially after entering a Fighting contest they had. First fight was against a half orc barbarian and won with no blood and a four move combo on his ass. Then fought a monk and beat him with some blood drawn and only lost to a dwarf. Placing third in the competion. Not bad for my first time fighting

Also fell in love with WoW, I now hold a level 12 Night Elf hunter. Extremely proud and only took me two days of good playtime to actually accomplish this. which made me very happy. Not to mention I now can tame animals for my companion and might be able to finally compete in the Awakening of the Relics with Trey on his Rough Night elf. Even William made a Night Elf shamin so he's leveling to catch up, and my sis is on WoW not to. Got her addicted when she was up here too. So that should be interesting enough. BUT lucky us we got three friends who level at 60 if we 'need' any help!

Only thing that really upset me recently is the stuff with JD. My ex husband. Found out its going to cost me about 350 to actually officially be divorced from him. It not an easy sum to come by nor will it be an easy one to work up to. even with the good hours Im getting chances are its going to take at least till January till i get money. Unless I get an abundance in commisions that I hope to use to supliment and pay for things. Thinking of which I still am doing commisions and such to help my pet, Ramza with his bills. Details can be found [link] there so please take a look and if you can help note me. It will be very appreciated.

Either way that is whats been happening over the last few months and such, miss everyone dearly. Hope life is treating y'all well and hope to hear from you be it on here,MSN,aim,yahoo or even in emails. Lots of love now and always.

Love, peace, and chicken grease y'all
Beth

I am alive and such just dropping a note for those who don't watch my da and such. I"ll put up a better one a little later on in the week. But sis is coming to visit so don't expect me back online til sunday love y'all

I can't believe I forgot to post this and what not but I'm going to put this up with my announcement of being back around.

MaLaura was bored at 1 am in the morning in July on Sat the 1st. I am now a proud aunt of a very beautiful baby girl.

So utterly stoke its finally June and I only have five..thats right FIVE whole days to go before I am on an airplane heading back towards the east coast to visit my family and grandfolks. Im so nervous and exicted at the same time that currently Im going on a no sleep deprevation..hmm maybe I"ll just sleep most the flight that would be wicked. But knowing me I'll be using it to work on the poems and such that I owe to deear Sassy. So maybe I'll get something out or even one of my stories Im working on for Crea and Roane after the darling Crescentmoon took the time so I now have an actual image set in place who knows.

But either way little neice should be due anytime now totally stoked [again I sound like a californian bimbo..shoot me.] Yea but either way I am really totally stoked about it.

Open for writing any commisions if anyone wants some poetry, might even unbend and write up a story or two. Let me know note me please, the money would be nice and would help me on my trip to NH

Love, peace, and Chicken grease (o)<

So, job hunting. I swear it was made just so someone could laugh. *half smile* while its not to bad, I have finally broken down and applied to McDonalds again. Yay..*hear the joy in this really..>.<* While Im not thrilled it does propose a chance of money and makes me walk about 4 miles total if I don't catch the bus. I've tried not to be lazy and walk it,but I am a sucker. Silverdale is very hilly, much more than what I've been walking for 5 years in CA. Oh well, will just get me back into shape for NH again if I ever get back to the coast. The weather been beautiful! Its gets hot occationally but the nights are so cool! I love it really and it rains in the summer *insert happy squeel.*

Though the past couple of weeks its been very nice, though I've mostly been up durning the evenings and early mornings. Sort of keep falling in and out of my horrible sleeping patterns again. I mean Im getting at least 5 hours a sleep a night, but still. Olympia Mt is beautiful though in the morning, when its lightening up in the skies from dark blue to light blue..*happy sigh*

Update on the trying to quit smoking:..failure.I'm going on four days of no smoking.I had caved again *sighs* its just a habit that I've gotten use to. Not even anymore that I need them *save when stress levels high* but I'm trying again. I made promises and I intend to keep them.

Gotta run time to try and get some sleep. I wish you all the happiest of days, the best of evenings, and a lifetime of love.

So yea, tonight I got to find out my mother got in an accident while at the soon to be ex's house. Scared me shitless still am. Mom finally getting released and coming home shortly thank god. Though I worry because she might have reinjured an old injury and finally now get disablity.

fucking dan..what a bastard abandon me because i couldn't fucking call him because my mom's accident...talk about a knife that slices the heart deep. I hate life right now and friendship...its tenious. Go fucking figure..excuse my langague for those of sensative hearts but right now Im royally ticked off and can't talk with anyone. Talked to ched but he had to get up in four hours so told him to got to bed...yea right sooo not staying up to listen to me freak out...pff.

Anyways mom came home at 2am this morning, she's bruised but everything appears to be fine for the moment. Thank god..*shivers slightly* still a mess about it but I'll surive as I always do..hopefully but either way..the betrayl will take some time so forgive any coldness you might get please..

Also found out this morning at about 11 that I am going to loose another friend who'll remain nameless. Though it isn't in anger or anything silly like that, because of some issues I don't know of. He needs to take some time for himself and will miss him terribly. I hold nothing but good wishes for him.

well im back on FA again, can't wait to be look around at all the fantastic artists again.