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Judgement day countdown- three days to go!
Posted 14 years ago I, for one, am excited. I've got my lootin' gloves on, and I'm already scoping out mansions around here to take over for my marauding band of motorcycle-riding, zombie-fighting apocalypse survivors.
What good therapists do not do-
Posted 14 years ago They do not make inappopriate comments, like- "I won't stalk, I just gawk." When referring to their level of affection for you. During the first goddamn session. When you're there for abuse and anxiety counseling.
They do not scream and rage at you for mistakes that you've made- especially mistakes that were made before you were seeing them, or mistakes that had delayed ramifications. Talk therapy is designed to help you analyze your mistakes and learn to avoid repeating them, not to punish you for things that are obviously bothering you enough to cause you to seek help in the first place.
They don't use diagnostics as a weapon- if they've been treating your anxiety and panic attacks and that's the diagnosis made, they should never ever say, "I don't buy this anxiety bullshit anymore. You have some kind of personality disorder," because they're angry with you and want to hurt your feelings.
They do not ever, ever disclose your information to a third party without your consent- especially not by lying to a parent and telling them you have a personality disorder and that they cannot trust you.
And when you call and are told that you cannot cancel your appointment with the front desk and must leave a voicemail with the therapist themselves, and you inform them that you will not be returning more than 72 hours in advance, they should not call you back and inform you that they are charging you 300$ for "canceling inappropriately."
This is ridiculous and I'm angry as fuck.
They do not scream and rage at you for mistakes that you've made- especially mistakes that were made before you were seeing them, or mistakes that had delayed ramifications. Talk therapy is designed to help you analyze your mistakes and learn to avoid repeating them, not to punish you for things that are obviously bothering you enough to cause you to seek help in the first place.
They don't use diagnostics as a weapon- if they've been treating your anxiety and panic attacks and that's the diagnosis made, they should never ever say, "I don't buy this anxiety bullshit anymore. You have some kind of personality disorder," because they're angry with you and want to hurt your feelings.
They do not ever, ever disclose your information to a third party without your consent- especially not by lying to a parent and telling them you have a personality disorder and that they cannot trust you.
And when you call and are told that you cannot cancel your appointment with the front desk and must leave a voicemail with the therapist themselves, and you inform them that you will not be returning more than 72 hours in advance, they should not call you back and inform you that they are charging you 300$ for "canceling inappropriately."
This is ridiculous and I'm angry as fuck.
My second ever mother's day went a little like this
Posted 14 years ago Today I woke up at about 8 when the boys were still asleep. I put on PJ's, went downstairs, walked the dogs, straightened the kitchen, and was watering the plants when Henry began crying. Went up, got him, fed him, and put him in the gated community to make a ruckus while I made tea. At about 10, husband ran into the kitchen in his pajamas.
"There you are!" he said. "Get back upstairs. We're supposed to bring you breakfast in bed!"
"I already had some yogurt!" I protested meekly.
"Woman!" Husband replied, and so, snerking, I went back upstairs and turned on the TV to drown out the sounds of pans clattering and elvin cursing and Henry screaming. After a few minutes of this, I saw the car pull out of the driveway. A few minutes later, it returned, and husband, looking slightly haggard, returned with the baby and a dilly of little mini blueberry biscuits from burger king. Somehow, Henry was covered with pancake batter. So guess who got to give the baby a bath before she took a shower because someone was exhausted from their morning of labor? Meeee!
So then my mommy and daddy and their mess'o'kids came over. I made tea and scones. We sat on the deck and watched the neighborhood deer nibble at my tomato plants.
"And now it is time for gifts!" my dad proclaimed, and produced two small velvet covered boxes of superfluouness, and handed them with flourish to my mommy and me.
"Oh. My." I said.
"Oh dear." my mother said.
"Those are genuine replicas of Princess Diana's wedding ring!" My dad said proudly.
"We already have wedding rings, daddy." I pointed out, but my mother kicked me in the shin. So I put it on my right hand. Oh boy!*
Then we were moving some stuff from the new baby's room into the garage to make way for a crib. Husband looked up at the top shelf.
"Ellie."
"Yeeeees?"
"Did you steal the neighbor's canoe?"
"No. They were throwing it away. I salvaged it. There's a difference."
"What are you planning on doing with it?"
"Canoeing!"
"It's full of holes.'
"We have duct tape."
So now it's out there with the trash. What a jerk.
As mother's day wound to a close, it was time to call my Grandmama. I locked myself in the bathroom, (with Roswell throwing himself against the door,) and called their house.
"Hello!" a man's voice answered.
"Hi, Grandaddy!" I said.
"Grand-dad? Oh honey, I don't know if your granddad is here. What's your name?" He replied.
"It's me, Granddaddy." I replied. "It's Ellie!"
"Who?"
"Ellie!"
"Hello!" He replied. I was about to hang up and try again when all of a sudden I heard a voice shouting behind him and the sounds of a brief but ferocious struggle. Finally Violet, their housekeeper, picked up the phone.
"Honey I'm sorry about that!" she chirped. "He's in a state today. You want to talk to your Grandma?"
"yes, please." I sighed. So then I told my Grandmama about my day, and about how I'm feeling, (bloated, exhausted, swollen, and sore,) and she told me about her hip surgery, and also about her sweet new shoes. I could hear my grandpa and Violet shouting at each other in the background as she tried to get him to put on pants.**
"Anyways. I'm just fine. Do you want to talk to your grandfather?" she asked.
"NOOOOO!!" I shouted.
Tomorrow I have to take colliedog to the groomer's, go to work, go to the doctor, take Henry to his baby socialization thing***, pick up colliedog from the groomer's, and finish out the syllabus for the rest of the year in absentia.
At least there was key lime pie.
* My dad is strange about things. The last time we watched TV together, we mocked the royal wedding endlessly. I know my mom was genuinely excited to get such a thing, but I couldn't figure out why he'd think I wanted something like that until I realized that if you buy one ring, you get a second one free. Thanks, Dad. I really care about you too. :P
**My Grandpa, for whatever strange reason, insists that he won't wear pants unless it's very cold. He knows just how senile he is, and he's barely lucid enough to use that senility to his advantage. It's incredibly frustrating for poor Violet.
*** It turns out there is such a thing for teaching social skills to murderous babies. You just kind of toss them all on the floor and let them work it out. I am thrilled by this- my son is the biggest, toughest kid in class. Take that, adorable girl with poofy pigtails who hit him with a train! He sat on her.
"There you are!" he said. "Get back upstairs. We're supposed to bring you breakfast in bed!"
"I already had some yogurt!" I protested meekly.
"Woman!" Husband replied, and so, snerking, I went back upstairs and turned on the TV to drown out the sounds of pans clattering and elvin cursing and Henry screaming. After a few minutes of this, I saw the car pull out of the driveway. A few minutes later, it returned, and husband, looking slightly haggard, returned with the baby and a dilly of little mini blueberry biscuits from burger king. Somehow, Henry was covered with pancake batter. So guess who got to give the baby a bath before she took a shower because someone was exhausted from their morning of labor? Meeee!
So then my mommy and daddy and their mess'o'kids came over. I made tea and scones. We sat on the deck and watched the neighborhood deer nibble at my tomato plants.
"And now it is time for gifts!" my dad proclaimed, and produced two small velvet covered boxes of superfluouness, and handed them with flourish to my mommy and me.
"Oh. My." I said.
"Oh dear." my mother said.
"Those are genuine replicas of Princess Diana's wedding ring!" My dad said proudly.
"We already have wedding rings, daddy." I pointed out, but my mother kicked me in the shin. So I put it on my right hand. Oh boy!*
Then we were moving some stuff from the new baby's room into the garage to make way for a crib. Husband looked up at the top shelf.
"Ellie."
"Yeeeees?"
"Did you steal the neighbor's canoe?"
"No. They were throwing it away. I salvaged it. There's a difference."
"What are you planning on doing with it?"
"Canoeing!"
"It's full of holes.'
"We have duct tape."
So now it's out there with the trash. What a jerk.
As mother's day wound to a close, it was time to call my Grandmama. I locked myself in the bathroom, (with Roswell throwing himself against the door,) and called their house.
"Hello!" a man's voice answered.
"Hi, Grandaddy!" I said.
"Grand-dad? Oh honey, I don't know if your granddad is here. What's your name?" He replied.
"It's me, Granddaddy." I replied. "It's Ellie!"
"Who?"
"Ellie!"
"Hello!" He replied. I was about to hang up and try again when all of a sudden I heard a voice shouting behind him and the sounds of a brief but ferocious struggle. Finally Violet, their housekeeper, picked up the phone.
"Honey I'm sorry about that!" she chirped. "He's in a state today. You want to talk to your Grandma?"
"yes, please." I sighed. So then I told my Grandmama about my day, and about how I'm feeling, (bloated, exhausted, swollen, and sore,) and she told me about her hip surgery, and also about her sweet new shoes. I could hear my grandpa and Violet shouting at each other in the background as she tried to get him to put on pants.**
"Anyways. I'm just fine. Do you want to talk to your grandfather?" she asked.
"NOOOOO!!" I shouted.
Tomorrow I have to take colliedog to the groomer's, go to work, go to the doctor, take Henry to his baby socialization thing***, pick up colliedog from the groomer's, and finish out the syllabus for the rest of the year in absentia.
At least there was key lime pie.
* My dad is strange about things. The last time we watched TV together, we mocked the royal wedding endlessly. I know my mom was genuinely excited to get such a thing, but I couldn't figure out why he'd think I wanted something like that until I realized that if you buy one ring, you get a second one free. Thanks, Dad. I really care about you too. :P
**My Grandpa, for whatever strange reason, insists that he won't wear pants unless it's very cold. He knows just how senile he is, and he's barely lucid enough to use that senility to his advantage. It's incredibly frustrating for poor Violet.
*** It turns out there is such a thing for teaching social skills to murderous babies. You just kind of toss them all on the floor and let them work it out. I am thrilled by this- my son is the biggest, toughest kid in class. Take that, adorable girl with poofy pigtails who hit him with a train! He sat on her.
My friend's wedding, tattooing my baby, and ribs. P:
Posted 14 years ago Okay SO
My childhood friend Padma got married this weekend, and I am still sooooo excited for her, but also for me because I do not get to wear my sari very often. Which is a shame, because somehow everyone looks amazingly feminine and completely awesome in a sari. Anyways, it was a gorgeous wedding and it went on for three days which is a little shorter actually than most Hindu weddings and poor husband was completely overwhelmed but he was a sport about it, and on Thursday which was the night before the wedding we had her Mehndi party and a couple of us brought our kids, and Henry was getting into everything so we hanna-ed him too.We thought it would be funny to put a henna mustache on him, which....now will wash off in about a month if we're lucky.
Husband is thrilled.
So then Friday night was the Ghari Puja, and then the Swagatum, the ceremony itself, was on Saturday morning, with a party after that lasted....longer than we did.
So then today we were both exhausted and both had a lot of work-related things to do, (Grades for him, lesson plans for me and how is it that I have nineteen days before I quit work and ahhhhhhhhhh I have to get both my students and Matt squared away before I can go.) so my parents who were also at Padma's wedding (we grew up in a cult together so our parents are all very good friends!*) stayed over and Mommy and I went to the store together and bought pork ribs and now my parents are making ribs and corn on the cob and salad and cornbread and entertaining Henry, who seems to be having some kind of pots and pans war in the kitchen. At least, he raises up his wooden spoon, lets out a battle cry, and toddles at full speed towards my chili pan, where he whacks it with a spoon for a couple of minutes before backing up and repeating the operation. He's having fun, but it's incredibly noisy.
I have no idea what to teach my students for the next three weeks.
* When I was about seven or so, I was staying with my parents for a brief period home when they randomly decided to move onto a soybean farm where the men were separated from the women and children and us girls weren't allowed to cut our hair, eat meat, go inside the temple if we were menstruating, men weren't allowed to talk to women or girls they weren't related to, we all wore these long red sheath/robe/tunic things and men weren't allowed to shave their beards. My mom will still say "It was a nice little farm, it's not like THAT!" and we will say, "It was a cult, mom." and she'll say, "Maybe according to the LAWS OF MAN." Anyways, while my parents and Padma's parents were busy being total fucking loons, Padma and my brother James and her sister Gita and I used to ride ponies and play house and chase chickens.
My childhood friend Padma got married this weekend, and I am still sooooo excited for her, but also for me because I do not get to wear my sari very often. Which is a shame, because somehow everyone looks amazingly feminine and completely awesome in a sari. Anyways, it was a gorgeous wedding and it went on for three days which is a little shorter actually than most Hindu weddings and poor husband was completely overwhelmed but he was a sport about it, and on Thursday which was the night before the wedding we had her Mehndi party and a couple of us brought our kids, and Henry was getting into everything so we hanna-ed him too.We thought it would be funny to put a henna mustache on him, which....now will wash off in about a month if we're lucky.
Husband is thrilled.
So then Friday night was the Ghari Puja, and then the Swagatum, the ceremony itself, was on Saturday morning, with a party after that lasted....longer than we did.
So then today we were both exhausted and both had a lot of work-related things to do, (Grades for him, lesson plans for me and how is it that I have nineteen days before I quit work and ahhhhhhhhhh I have to get both my students and Matt squared away before I can go.) so my parents who were also at Padma's wedding (we grew up in a cult together so our parents are all very good friends!*) stayed over and Mommy and I went to the store together and bought pork ribs and now my parents are making ribs and corn on the cob and salad and cornbread and entertaining Henry, who seems to be having some kind of pots and pans war in the kitchen. At least, he raises up his wooden spoon, lets out a battle cry, and toddles at full speed towards my chili pan, where he whacks it with a spoon for a couple of minutes before backing up and repeating the operation. He's having fun, but it's incredibly noisy.
I have no idea what to teach my students for the next three weeks.
* When I was about seven or so, I was staying with my parents for a brief period home when they randomly decided to move onto a soybean farm where the men were separated from the women and children and us girls weren't allowed to cut our hair, eat meat, go inside the temple if we were menstruating, men weren't allowed to talk to women or girls they weren't related to, we all wore these long red sheath/robe/tunic things and men weren't allowed to shave their beards. My mom will still say "It was a nice little farm, it's not like THAT!" and we will say, "It was a cult, mom." and she'll say, "Maybe according to the LAWS OF MAN." Anyways, while my parents and Padma's parents were busy being total fucking loons, Padma and my brother James and her sister Gita and I used to ride ponies and play house and chase chickens.
Help my birfday wish come true!
Posted 14 years ago So you guys might remember Grace from my round of charity commissions earlier this year. She was the little old mare who was starved until she rated below a 1 on the Hennecke scale, and was nursed back to health by Darla from Strawberry Mountain Mustangs.
Warning- this image is of a severely neglected horse.
http://www.facebook.com/Chloesgirl#.....=1&theater
And of course, Grace as she is looking these days:
http://www.facebook.com/Chloesgirl#.....=1&theater
Woot!
So, Tina Mercer, Grace's former owner, is on trial for animal cruelty, but the trial has been delayed. This gives a chance for everyone who has followed Grace's story to write to the judge and DA and ask that Tina Mercer be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. So please write those letters and get them sent out! If you photograph your letter, with a stamp and envelope and ready to go, I'll put your names in a raffle and make one of you guys a knitted plush or something!
1036 SE Douglas
Roseburg, OR 97470
Attn Jamie Carmichael - District Attorney's office
Warning- this image is of a severely neglected horse.
http://www.facebook.com/Chloesgirl#.....=1&theater
And of course, Grace as she is looking these days:
http://www.facebook.com/Chloesgirl#.....=1&theater
Woot!
So, Tina Mercer, Grace's former owner, is on trial for animal cruelty, but the trial has been delayed. This gives a chance for everyone who has followed Grace's story to write to the judge and DA and ask that Tina Mercer be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. So please write those letters and get them sent out! If you photograph your letter, with a stamp and envelope and ready to go, I'll put your names in a raffle and make one of you guys a knitted plush or something!
1036 SE Douglas
Roseburg, OR 97470
Attn Jamie Carmichael - District Attorney's office
Ughughughugh
Posted 14 years ago Way to steal my birthday thunder, Prince William and whatever-her-name-is.
So maybe I'm just not properly a woman, but I could not care less about the royal wedding, and I am irritated that everyone is shitting themselves over it when they should be freaking out because it is the anniversary of the glorious morning that I came into the world. Foiled by the British monarchy once again! I am shaking my fist at the sky!!
Also, we named the new baby and I am thrilled. But we're not telling anyone till she gets here. Three and a half more months. I don't know if I can stand it. :c
So maybe I'm just not properly a woman, but I could not care less about the royal wedding, and I am irritated that everyone is shitting themselves over it when they should be freaking out because it is the anniversary of the glorious morning that I came into the world. Foiled by the British monarchy once again! I am shaking my fist at the sky!!
Also, we named the new baby and I am thrilled. But we're not telling anyone till she gets here. Three and a half more months. I don't know if I can stand it. :c
Oh for fucks sake. (another Henry story.)
Posted 14 years ago Tonight, Henry was downstairs in the living room while husband worked upstairs. I went up to ask him a question, and we were arguing about something when we heard a crash, and Chloe yelp downstairs. So we raced downstairs to find that my tupperware tub of flour and sugar upended on the floor, and Henry, having escaped his baby gate, happily sitting in the middle of the mess, coloring on the new hardwood floor with a sharpie.
"Henry!" husband yelled. Henry froze. Without looking at us, he dropped the marker and flopped over onto his back, refusing to make eye contact. We both stood, puzzled, in the hallway.
"Is he...playing dead?" Husband asked, after a couple of seconds.
"Don't be stupid!" I replied. "He's a baby, not an opossum."
We stood there for a couple seconds more. Henry flopped around, but still wouldn't look at us. Finally I went to go get him. He giggled. All was good, until I picked him up and took the sharpie from his hand. And then he started screaming bloody murder.
"He needs a sandbox."
finneganhound said.
"He's got a dirt pit!" I argued.
Hmmph.
"Henry!" husband yelled. Henry froze. Without looking at us, he dropped the marker and flopped over onto his back, refusing to make eye contact. We both stood, puzzled, in the hallway.
"Is he...playing dead?" Husband asked, after a couple of seconds.
"Don't be stupid!" I replied. "He's a baby, not an opossum."
We stood there for a couple seconds more. Henry flopped around, but still wouldn't look at us. Finally I went to go get him. He giggled. All was good, until I picked him up and took the sharpie from his hand. And then he started screaming bloody murder.
"He needs a sandbox."
finneganhound said. "He's got a dirt pit!" I argued.
Hmmph.
Let's make a pledge!
Posted 14 years ago http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art......html?ITO=1490
From now on, I promise-
If I see anyone in trouble- whether they are being attacked, mugged, harassed, picked on, WHATEVER, I am going to step up and DO something about it- whether that's stepping in or just calling 911. I promise to never stand idly by. I promise that if someone needs something from me, I will be there to give it to them. 100%. Always.
From now on, I promise-
If I see anyone in trouble- whether they are being attacked, mugged, harassed, picked on, WHATEVER, I am going to step up and DO something about it- whether that's stepping in or just calling 911. I promise to never stand idly by. I promise that if someone needs something from me, I will be there to give it to them. 100%. Always.
Oh jeez. (A Henry story.)
Posted 14 years ago So today I went with my mommy to the garden center to buy plants. We piled our purses in the cart, so I was carrying Henry awkwardly on my hip, half sitting on my belly. (Nature's shelf.) When she went to go grab some tomato plants, she looked at me, and said,
"You have a black thumb. I don't even want you looking at these plants, because you'll kill them. Stay here with our bags." And I said,
"Okay." Because it's true, I do tend to kill plants. So I was standing there with Henry, looking at a display of garden statues, when a man about my age walked by with a baby girl about Henry's age in his arms. I stepped back against the cart to make way, and Henry and the little girl reached out for each other with murder in their eyes, and slapped each other's faces as the man walked by. Henry got a hold of her wee little pigtail and yanked with all his tiny baby strength. They both immediately started bawling. I was mortified. The girl's father, having discovered there was no injury to his daughter, thought it was hilarious. I didn't know whether we needed to exchange information or anything, but he said it was fine and kept on going. We left shortly after, me holding my child-aggressive toddler up high, away from the innocent children frolicking around the garden center.
Clearly, Henry needs to be socialized before the new baby comes. How do you socialize a toddler?
"You have a black thumb. I don't even want you looking at these plants, because you'll kill them. Stay here with our bags." And I said,
"Okay." Because it's true, I do tend to kill plants. So I was standing there with Henry, looking at a display of garden statues, when a man about my age walked by with a baby girl about Henry's age in his arms. I stepped back against the cart to make way, and Henry and the little girl reached out for each other with murder in their eyes, and slapped each other's faces as the man walked by. Henry got a hold of her wee little pigtail and yanked with all his tiny baby strength. They both immediately started bawling. I was mortified. The girl's father, having discovered there was no injury to his daughter, thought it was hilarious. I didn't know whether we needed to exchange information or anything, but he said it was fine and kept on going. We left shortly after, me holding my child-aggressive toddler up high, away from the innocent children frolicking around the garden center.
Clearly, Henry needs to be socialized before the new baby comes. How do you socialize a toddler?
10 troofs
Posted 14 years ago1) I'm finally getting to a place where I really like being tall. It used to bother me, since I've pretty much been like...5'10" or 5'11" since I was 11 or so. Being a child the height of an adult is a very strange experience, and I used to burst into tears whenever someone told me, "Oh, you'll be grateful for the height some day!" Being a tall 10 year old is no fun- it only takes one time of a grown man coming up and hitting on you in public because he thinks you're an adult to scar you for life- but being a freakishly tall grown woman is mostly fun. Except the insecure little dicks who say things like, "Oh, you're too tall for me! I feel like less of a man around you!" as if I am so manly that they feel weak and feminine alongside...? I don't get that one, to be honest.
2) Somehow I never, ever wear the right shoes for whatever kind of weather event is happening that day. I dress Henry correctly, so it's some kind of strange footwear dyslexia that only applies to me and my own feet. Yesterday, going to see Rio, Henry was wearing a raincoat and wellington boots shaped like froggies, and I was wearing a raincoat and gladiator sandals- which is especially annoying because Henry likes to stop and stomp and splash in every rain puddle we happen across, and I am certainly not going to deprive him of that. So I stomped around in puddles with him, barefoot for all intents and purposes. It was very cold. Today, going to the park, I donned wellies-- still a good choice, but not as helpful as they would have been yesterday, since today is warm and slightly damp, and yesterday was wet and cold. I do not know why I do this.
3) Sometimes I panic thinking about Henry and the baby and my life now- I love it, don't get me wrong, and I wouldn't change a thing, but I've essentially traded in my young adulthood for parenting and marriage and domesticity, and it's too late to change my mind. I know that given the chance I'd choose the same thing, but it's kind of intimidating to think about sometimes- I'm done. I'll never have another first kiss, or first date, or a new apartment that I can decorate however I want because it's all mine. I'm going to be sharing everything I have with my husband and children for the rest of my life. My friends are all going on new adventures- adventures that I've already been on so I'm not jealous, more a wistful thought like, "Awwwww. You're gonna have so much fun!" and a little pang of nostalgia. I feel older than I am sometimes, and that part is no fun. But then Henry comes running and gives me a handful of his cheerios and a kiss, and it's better.
4) I read this blog pretty frequently:
http://www.stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/
And my feelings towards the author are mixed. Obviously, she is a wretched, wretched person- no matter which way you interpret the bible, I'm pretty sure Jesus's message was, "Judging people is my job, not yours. Don't be a dick." and referring to everyone who disagrees with her as a filthy animal is pretty low. On the other hand, I don't think anyone who spends that much time lambasting other people is really happy with themselves, so I have trouble wishing she'd just drown herself in a bath tub. I am miserly with my sympathy, usually withholding it for people who aren't assholes, but some part of me really does sympathize for her. She's really depriving herself of all the interesting people who don't hold her same beliefs.
5) I've been a Hindu for about three years, since I traveled to Kalkotta right after I got my BFA, and I've been relieved ever since. I was born into a very conservative, primitive Baptist family, with parents who were mostly concerned about churning out as many children as possible. We were kept in line by a threat of, 'Jesus will send you to hell if you don't obey me," which is an environment that very, very easily fosters abuse, which happened in my case. When my parents split up and my biological father left, my mom married my stepdad, a very out-of-practice Sunni Muslim. They converted to Hare Krishna, and my step grandparents, who are basically the grandest, most wonderful human beings on the planet, removed me from my mother's lax parenting and raised me on and off, for 12 years in Hawaii. After my childhood, I just couldn't believe in Jesus and the entire Christian concept of what God is. Traveling in India showed me that there is another view of what and who God is entirely. Time spent in meditation, confronting my deepest fears and insecurities, led to me (And I know this is going to sound cheesy but it's true,) to know God and the overwhelming love and harmony and presence in every thing and every one. It's an overwhelming sense of peace.
6) I have this strange notion that Tennesee is the most beautiful place on earth, despite never having been there, met anyone from there, or even seeing that many pictures. Sometimes I think I'm just a Southern Belle at heart, but I have very little way of knowing, since I've not been down south much. I was born in SC and spent a few years there, but I don't remember much of it. My mother says that I am the spitting image of my great grandmother, a southern lady who would not leave her home without lipstick and white gloves- not so much in looks, but in personality. I am inclined to believe it, as I tend to be rather prim and proper in most of my dealings with others. And I do so love an iced tea party.
7) I used to fucking LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE shopping- which was a problem, because I lived right next to Pentagon City mall. Like, it was a 4 minute walk away. I ran up like...four credit cards and was in debt and being sued and stuff, since I didn't have the sense to handle my finances. After getting all that sorted out, I really don't like shopping any more- like, for some reason, I blame shopping malls, instead of the fact that I'm bad at math, for my troubles. So I really don't like shopping anymore, unless it's at a yarn store or a garden center or an art supply store or a bookstore or a farmer's market. I love all those places. And I go to Target, because I have to.
8) I hide from my family sometimes. Because of work, and the baby, and the animals, I'm pretty much never alone. Even if I go to the bathroom, the cat follows me and throws himself against the door and cries until I let him in. Even now, with Henry down for a nap and hiding in my sewing cave, Chloe is asleep on the floor and Roswell is in my comfy chair. Roswell vocalizes 24/7, (the pitfalls of brain damaged cats, I guess,) and sometimes I really just want him to GO AWAY. Before I had Henry, I lived alone and just had Chloe and Deuce for company, so this transition to, "three people and two dogs and a brain-damaged cat in a three bedroom townhouse" thing has been really, really overwhelming. I miss the solitude sometimes.
9) I'm moving, as soon as I can get the visa paperwork finished, to New Zealand or Scotland or Mongolia, or someplace where the land is cheap and plentiful and people are few and far between. I am genuinely concerned about the direction this country is taking- it's 2011, we should know better than to even THINK about electing Donald Trump, of all people, as president of the United States.
10) People who project their own issues onto me annoy me to no end. I've been told that I "Can't immigrate to another country," "can't write a romance novel and self-publish it for extra money" because that's not "what people do." I've been told that I'm faking my dislike of dolphins to make myself seem more interesting, and then told that they say all these things because they talk to me then feel like they're wasting their life, or aren't as successful as I am, when our conversations have been dominated over how much they dislike themselves or how their roommates suck, and I've sat there and told them how likeable and nice and worthy they are as a human being. If you have bad self esteem and you're unhappy, super. Good for you. I'm not going to apologize for being happy, or having dreams, or chasing down things that I think would be neat or interesting. I am living proof that whatever you want badly enough to put effort behind, you are capable of doing. I'm not going to drag myself down to meet the expectations you have for yourself. Thanks but no thanks.
2) Somehow I never, ever wear the right shoes for whatever kind of weather event is happening that day. I dress Henry correctly, so it's some kind of strange footwear dyslexia that only applies to me and my own feet. Yesterday, going to see Rio, Henry was wearing a raincoat and wellington boots shaped like froggies, and I was wearing a raincoat and gladiator sandals- which is especially annoying because Henry likes to stop and stomp and splash in every rain puddle we happen across, and I am certainly not going to deprive him of that. So I stomped around in puddles with him, barefoot for all intents and purposes. It was very cold. Today, going to the park, I donned wellies-- still a good choice, but not as helpful as they would have been yesterday, since today is warm and slightly damp, and yesterday was wet and cold. I do not know why I do this.
3) Sometimes I panic thinking about Henry and the baby and my life now- I love it, don't get me wrong, and I wouldn't change a thing, but I've essentially traded in my young adulthood for parenting and marriage and domesticity, and it's too late to change my mind. I know that given the chance I'd choose the same thing, but it's kind of intimidating to think about sometimes- I'm done. I'll never have another first kiss, or first date, or a new apartment that I can decorate however I want because it's all mine. I'm going to be sharing everything I have with my husband and children for the rest of my life. My friends are all going on new adventures- adventures that I've already been on so I'm not jealous, more a wistful thought like, "Awwwww. You're gonna have so much fun!" and a little pang of nostalgia. I feel older than I am sometimes, and that part is no fun. But then Henry comes running and gives me a handful of his cheerios and a kiss, and it's better.
4) I read this blog pretty frequently:
http://www.stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/
And my feelings towards the author are mixed. Obviously, she is a wretched, wretched person- no matter which way you interpret the bible, I'm pretty sure Jesus's message was, "Judging people is my job, not yours. Don't be a dick." and referring to everyone who disagrees with her as a filthy animal is pretty low. On the other hand, I don't think anyone who spends that much time lambasting other people is really happy with themselves, so I have trouble wishing she'd just drown herself in a bath tub. I am miserly with my sympathy, usually withholding it for people who aren't assholes, but some part of me really does sympathize for her. She's really depriving herself of all the interesting people who don't hold her same beliefs.
5) I've been a Hindu for about three years, since I traveled to Kalkotta right after I got my BFA, and I've been relieved ever since. I was born into a very conservative, primitive Baptist family, with parents who were mostly concerned about churning out as many children as possible. We were kept in line by a threat of, 'Jesus will send you to hell if you don't obey me," which is an environment that very, very easily fosters abuse, which happened in my case. When my parents split up and my biological father left, my mom married my stepdad, a very out-of-practice Sunni Muslim. They converted to Hare Krishna, and my step grandparents, who are basically the grandest, most wonderful human beings on the planet, removed me from my mother's lax parenting and raised me on and off, for 12 years in Hawaii. After my childhood, I just couldn't believe in Jesus and the entire Christian concept of what God is. Traveling in India showed me that there is another view of what and who God is entirely. Time spent in meditation, confronting my deepest fears and insecurities, led to me (And I know this is going to sound cheesy but it's true,) to know God and the overwhelming love and harmony and presence in every thing and every one. It's an overwhelming sense of peace.
6) I have this strange notion that Tennesee is the most beautiful place on earth, despite never having been there, met anyone from there, or even seeing that many pictures. Sometimes I think I'm just a Southern Belle at heart, but I have very little way of knowing, since I've not been down south much. I was born in SC and spent a few years there, but I don't remember much of it. My mother says that I am the spitting image of my great grandmother, a southern lady who would not leave her home without lipstick and white gloves- not so much in looks, but in personality. I am inclined to believe it, as I tend to be rather prim and proper in most of my dealings with others. And I do so love an iced tea party.
7) I used to fucking LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE shopping- which was a problem, because I lived right next to Pentagon City mall. Like, it was a 4 minute walk away. I ran up like...four credit cards and was in debt and being sued and stuff, since I didn't have the sense to handle my finances. After getting all that sorted out, I really don't like shopping any more- like, for some reason, I blame shopping malls, instead of the fact that I'm bad at math, for my troubles. So I really don't like shopping anymore, unless it's at a yarn store or a garden center or an art supply store or a bookstore or a farmer's market. I love all those places. And I go to Target, because I have to.
8) I hide from my family sometimes. Because of work, and the baby, and the animals, I'm pretty much never alone. Even if I go to the bathroom, the cat follows me and throws himself against the door and cries until I let him in. Even now, with Henry down for a nap and hiding in my sewing cave, Chloe is asleep on the floor and Roswell is in my comfy chair. Roswell vocalizes 24/7, (the pitfalls of brain damaged cats, I guess,) and sometimes I really just want him to GO AWAY. Before I had Henry, I lived alone and just had Chloe and Deuce for company, so this transition to, "three people and two dogs and a brain-damaged cat in a three bedroom townhouse" thing has been really, really overwhelming. I miss the solitude sometimes.
9) I'm moving, as soon as I can get the visa paperwork finished, to New Zealand or Scotland or Mongolia, or someplace where the land is cheap and plentiful and people are few and far between. I am genuinely concerned about the direction this country is taking- it's 2011, we should know better than to even THINK about electing Donald Trump, of all people, as president of the United States.
10) People who project their own issues onto me annoy me to no end. I've been told that I "Can't immigrate to another country," "can't write a romance novel and self-publish it for extra money" because that's not "what people do." I've been told that I'm faking my dislike of dolphins to make myself seem more interesting, and then told that they say all these things because they talk to me then feel like they're wasting their life, or aren't as successful as I am, when our conversations have been dominated over how much they dislike themselves or how their roommates suck, and I've sat there and told them how likeable and nice and worthy they are as a human being. If you have bad self esteem and you're unhappy, super. Good for you. I'm not going to apologize for being happy, or having dreams, or chasing down things that I think would be neat or interesting. I am living proof that whatever you want badly enough to put effort behind, you are capable of doing. I'm not going to drag myself down to meet the expectations you have for yourself. Thanks but no thanks.
Ho shit
Posted 14 years agohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTYa.....eature=related
My favorite. <3 <3
Anyways I have two test knitters from Ravelry, but if you want a copy of the pattern hit me uuupppp!
My favorite. <3 <3
Anyways I have two test knitters from Ravelry, but if you want a copy of the pattern hit me uuupppp!
If you knit..
Posted 14 years ago I need test knitters for my first pattern ya'll!
This is an intermediate level knit- if you can make a top-down raglan, then this will be an easy knit for you. It's a quick, top-down raglan with a keyhole back and some interesting detailing at the hemlines. Nothing too difficult but I think the end result will be super adorable and interesting and pretty. It should take somewhere between 5 and 9 skeins of worsted weight yarn- I'm using Debbie Stoller's Bamboo Ewe for the first sweater, but I'll be using and recommending Spud and Chloe sweater yarn for the final. But any worsted weight yarn will work- it's clingy though, so a wool or wool blend would be best, to help it keep it's shape. The Bamboo Ewe is your best bet if you're shopping at Michael's or any other big box craft store. c:
If you're interested in a free sweater knitting pattern and helping me proofread this thing for any errors, hit me up! <3
This is an intermediate level knit- if you can make a top-down raglan, then this will be an easy knit for you. It's a quick, top-down raglan with a keyhole back and some interesting detailing at the hemlines. Nothing too difficult but I think the end result will be super adorable and interesting and pretty. It should take somewhere between 5 and 9 skeins of worsted weight yarn- I'm using Debbie Stoller's Bamboo Ewe for the first sweater, but I'll be using and recommending Spud and Chloe sweater yarn for the final. But any worsted weight yarn will work- it's clingy though, so a wool or wool blend would be best, to help it keep it's shape. The Bamboo Ewe is your best bet if you're shopping at Michael's or any other big box craft store. c:
If you're interested in a free sweater knitting pattern and helping me proofread this thing for any errors, hit me up! <3
Bed rest, babymoon, birthday
Posted 14 years ago So three things are swiftly approaching.
My birthday is the 29th. I am going to be 24. Neat!
Sometime after my birthday next week and before May 20th, Henry and Husband and I want to go on a leetle getaway together as a family before the baby gets here and everything goes topsy turvy again! I am gunning for a beach getaway weekend.
On the 20th of May, I officially go on bedrest and have to avoid jarring my uterus and moving around too much. I'll have to stay like that for THREE WHOLE MONTHS holy shit. so I'd have lots of time to get commissions done, wink wink hint hint nudge!
My birthday is the 29th. I am going to be 24. Neat!
Sometime after my birthday next week and before May 20th, Henry and Husband and I want to go on a leetle getaway together as a family before the baby gets here and everything goes topsy turvy again! I am gunning for a beach getaway weekend.
On the 20th of May, I officially go on bedrest and have to avoid jarring my uterus and moving around too much. I'll have to stay like that for THREE WHOLE MONTHS holy shit. so I'd have lots of time to get commissions done, wink wink hint hint nudge!
Day 3 of Spring Break
Posted 14 years ago I am slowly losing my mind. Someone save me!
1.This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
What lol. Okay.
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be)?
Woodle. Lol!
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
I was tired when I woke up today. I did NOT want to get up. Being pregnant blows.
4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
Earlier today with the baby doctor. Henry has a fever! :c
5. What are you excited for?
The baby getting here, going back to work in January, going to the sheep festival if I can handle it, seeing my little sister in December.
7. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Henry
8. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
A pen cap that I was chewing on.
9. Have a best friend?
A couple of them.
10. Are you scared to fall in love?
It's a little late for that.
11. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
No. Their little minds lack the capacity for real, honest love.
12. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
Matt, incidentally enough.
13. What time is it right this second?
1:09 PM 4.13.11
14. What do you want right now?
Rasberry tea.
15. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Dan.
16. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
Married with childrenz.
17. When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday. It's a frequent occurance with me.
18. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Not really. We try, but things are extremely strained.
19. Do you find it hard to trust others?
Absolutely.
20. How fast does your mind change?
At the drop of a hat.
21. I bet you miss somebody right now.
VICCCCKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
22. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
I would be, if I had some goddamn tea.
23. Why do you think so many people cheat?
It's so far removed from my mindset and experiences that I honestly could not say.
24. Tell me what's on your mind?
My eyebrows need a plucking. They look downright feral.
25. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Well. My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, and then school lets out for summer. So I have that.
26. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Shirts. And now that I have gotten even larger, I wear my husband's PJ pants, cause mine are too small.
27. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
Yesterday. He took me out for pancakes.
28. When is your next road trip?
Oh, I don't do those anymore. :x
29. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Yep
30. How's your heart?
Still thumpin.
31. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
I'm not important. I'm one human being out of 7 billion on one planet in the entirety of the universe. I'm about as inconsequential as it's possible to be.
32. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
I hope so!
33. What are you planning on doing after this?
Nap!
34. Next time you will kiss someone?
When I finish this and go take Henry upstairs for a nap. Snuggly time!
35. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Henry. And the dogs.
36. Who do you not get along with?
Plenty of people. The list is long and multi-faceted.
37. What does you 3rd recent text say?
"Leaving work now be there in 10 mins love you!"
38. What are you wearing right now?
Green tank top, pink pants, white sweater.
39. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
GAAHHHH. DON'T LEAVE ME LOCKED IN A ROOM WITH HIM JAYSUS.
40. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
I...I don't even know. It sounds good though.
41. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
girl: Ava Dorothy
boy: Orville
42. How did you feel when you woke up?
Like I couldn't move. I did not want to get up.
43. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
Totally.
44. Do you crack your knuckles?
No.
45. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
Sleeping, I think.
46. What are your LEGAL initials?
ECBH
47. Who's the first B in your contacts?
Brandon
48. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Saturday, when I was relaying the misadventures of an old roommate to an old friend.
49. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
I go after most people that try to walk out of my life. That's sucky!
50. Explain your last awkward moment?
Gosh...the last really awkward moment was..when my roommate came to visit me right after my c-section and we reminisced about our forays into the wonders of sapphic love while my poor husband sat there with the baby.
51. Are you afraid of the dark?
No. The dark is my friend.
52. Do you have good vision?
Yes.
53. Have you ever tripped someone?
Once, on purpose, when I was in second grade. We both cried.
54. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes!
55. Are you Irish?
No, but I am an Irish twin.
56. Do you use chap stick?
Yes, like mad.
57. Do you have any scars?
Yes. ;c
58. Is there someone you will never forgive?
My older brother. Eric. Eric's family. etc.
59. Are you dating the person you last held hands with?
Sort of!
60. Name the last person to text you?
Daniel Baugher
61. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
8 years is nuffin.
62. Can you go in public looking like you do?
Absoltely not.
63. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a A?
Nope.
64. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Kind of in the middle, halfway on top of poor husband, with my stuffed shark shoved into his face. It's love.
65. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
Wake up?
66. Do you fall for people easily?
Nooooooooo.
67. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
He tried. :c
68. Do you miss the way things used to be?
A little, but I like this. I want this.
69. Song you're thinking of right now?
June Hymn from the Decemberists.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KusWM9AKfZg
70. Want someone back in your life?
A little. I am so sad that he fled. Straight Dan! Straight Dan! Come back!
71. Will tomorrow be better than today?
I hope every new day is better than the one before!
72. What's the color of the shirt you are wearing?
Green.
73. Who was the first friend that you had?
Dan! We met in kindergarden. He broke my little mermaid toy, and I kicked his shin.
74. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
Adurr.
75. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
I don't think it's difficult.
76. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
Natural, definitely.
77. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
I don't think I could handle another person. My hands are full enough already.
78. What do you wear when you sleep?
It depends. A really ugly nightgown with a shark on it if I want everyone to keep their hands to themselves or if Henry is around, or a pink lace thing if I see the potential for business time.
79. Are you obsessed with something right now?
Buying pink things!
80. The first person you loved is?
His name was Tyson, and my little 16 year old brain was so entrenched in every hormone I could think of.
81. Something terrible happened with you?
Yes.
82. You are locked up with someone you love, what happens?
We kill each other. Seriously. I love that man, but...we'd murder each other within hours.
83. If you could wish something, what would it be?
A unicorn.
84. Ever forced someone to do something?
I make Henry go down for naps and I make him eat vegetables and stay behind baby gates. OH NO SO ABUSIVE.
85. When you are alone, what do you think about?
Ukuleles, confetti, coloring, unicorns, deep sea sharks, throwing myself a wicked awesome suprise birthday party.
86. How was your first kiss?
Awkward.
87. What's your favorite music genre?
Indie-pop stuff. Iron and Wine, The Decemberists, Fleet Foxes, Mumford and Sons, Blitzen Trapper..that kind of thing.
88. Are you going to tag people to do this?
Nope.
1.This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
What lol. Okay.
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be)?
Woodle. Lol!
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
I was tired when I woke up today. I did NOT want to get up. Being pregnant blows.
4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
Earlier today with the baby doctor. Henry has a fever! :c
5. What are you excited for?
The baby getting here, going back to work in January, going to the sheep festival if I can handle it, seeing my little sister in December.
7. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Henry
8. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
A pen cap that I was chewing on.
9. Have a best friend?
A couple of them.
10. Are you scared to fall in love?
It's a little late for that.
11. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
No. Their little minds lack the capacity for real, honest love.
12. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
Matt, incidentally enough.
13. What time is it right this second?
1:09 PM 4.13.11
14. What do you want right now?
Rasberry tea.
15. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Dan.
16. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
Married with childrenz.
17. When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday. It's a frequent occurance with me.
18. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Not really. We try, but things are extremely strained.
19. Do you find it hard to trust others?
Absolutely.
20. How fast does your mind change?
At the drop of a hat.
21. I bet you miss somebody right now.
VICCCCKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
22. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
I would be, if I had some goddamn tea.
23. Why do you think so many people cheat?
It's so far removed from my mindset and experiences that I honestly could not say.
24. Tell me what's on your mind?
My eyebrows need a plucking. They look downright feral.
25. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Well. My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, and then school lets out for summer. So I have that.
26. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Shirts. And now that I have gotten even larger, I wear my husband's PJ pants, cause mine are too small.
27. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
Yesterday. He took me out for pancakes.
28. When is your next road trip?
Oh, I don't do those anymore. :x
29. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Yep
30. How's your heart?
Still thumpin.
31. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
I'm not important. I'm one human being out of 7 billion on one planet in the entirety of the universe. I'm about as inconsequential as it's possible to be.
32. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
I hope so!
33. What are you planning on doing after this?
Nap!
34. Next time you will kiss someone?
When I finish this and go take Henry upstairs for a nap. Snuggly time!
35. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Henry. And the dogs.
36. Who do you not get along with?
Plenty of people. The list is long and multi-faceted.
37. What does you 3rd recent text say?
"Leaving work now be there in 10 mins love you!"
38. What are you wearing right now?
Green tank top, pink pants, white sweater.
39. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
GAAHHHH. DON'T LEAVE ME LOCKED IN A ROOM WITH HIM JAYSUS.
40. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
I...I don't even know. It sounds good though.
41. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
girl: Ava Dorothy
boy: Orville
42. How did you feel when you woke up?
Like I couldn't move. I did not want to get up.
43. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
Totally.
44. Do you crack your knuckles?
No.
45. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
Sleeping, I think.
46. What are your LEGAL initials?
ECBH
47. Who's the first B in your contacts?
Brandon
48. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Saturday, when I was relaying the misadventures of an old roommate to an old friend.
49. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
I go after most people that try to walk out of my life. That's sucky!
50. Explain your last awkward moment?
Gosh...the last really awkward moment was..when my roommate came to visit me right after my c-section and we reminisced about our forays into the wonders of sapphic love while my poor husband sat there with the baby.
51. Are you afraid of the dark?
No. The dark is my friend.
52. Do you have good vision?
Yes.
53. Have you ever tripped someone?
Once, on purpose, when I was in second grade. We both cried.
54. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes!
55. Are you Irish?
No, but I am an Irish twin.
56. Do you use chap stick?
Yes, like mad.
57. Do you have any scars?
Yes. ;c
58. Is there someone you will never forgive?
My older brother. Eric. Eric's family. etc.
59. Are you dating the person you last held hands with?
Sort of!
60. Name the last person to text you?
Daniel Baugher
61. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
8 years is nuffin.
62. Can you go in public looking like you do?
Absoltely not.
63. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a A?
Nope.
64. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Kind of in the middle, halfway on top of poor husband, with my stuffed shark shoved into his face. It's love.
65. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
Wake up?
66. Do you fall for people easily?
Nooooooooo.
67. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
He tried. :c
68. Do you miss the way things used to be?
A little, but I like this. I want this.
69. Song you're thinking of right now?
June Hymn from the Decemberists.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KusWM9AKfZg
70. Want someone back in your life?
A little. I am so sad that he fled. Straight Dan! Straight Dan! Come back!
71. Will tomorrow be better than today?
I hope every new day is better than the one before!
72. What's the color of the shirt you are wearing?
Green.
73. Who was the first friend that you had?
Dan! We met in kindergarden. He broke my little mermaid toy, and I kicked his shin.
74. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
Adurr.
75. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
I don't think it's difficult.
76. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
Natural, definitely.
77. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
I don't think I could handle another person. My hands are full enough already.
78. What do you wear when you sleep?
It depends. A really ugly nightgown with a shark on it if I want everyone to keep their hands to themselves or if Henry is around, or a pink lace thing if I see the potential for business time.
79. Are you obsessed with something right now?
Buying pink things!
80. The first person you loved is?
His name was Tyson, and my little 16 year old brain was so entrenched in every hormone I could think of.
81. Something terrible happened with you?
Yes.
82. You are locked up with someone you love, what happens?
We kill each other. Seriously. I love that man, but...we'd murder each other within hours.
83. If you could wish something, what would it be?
A unicorn.
84. Ever forced someone to do something?
I make Henry go down for naps and I make him eat vegetables and stay behind baby gates. OH NO SO ABUSIVE.
85. When you are alone, what do you think about?
Ukuleles, confetti, coloring, unicorns, deep sea sharks, throwing myself a wicked awesome suprise birthday party.
86. How was your first kiss?
Awkward.
87. What's your favorite music genre?
Indie-pop stuff. Iron and Wine, The Decemberists, Fleet Foxes, Mumford and Sons, Blitzen Trapper..that kind of thing.
88. Are you going to tag people to do this?
Nope.
Auuughhhh I can't deciiiiiide!
Posted 14 years ago Hay internet, which of these potential baby names is best-
Amelia
Ava
August
Avery
Carolina
Delilah
Dorothy
Esther
Greta
Georgia
Lily
Lydia
Loraine
Madeline
Nina
We can't deciiiiiiiiiiiiiide! :c
Amelia
Ava
August
Avery
Carolina
Delilah
Dorothy
Esther
Greta
Georgia
Lily
Lydia
Loraine
Madeline
Nina
We can't deciiiiiiiiiiiiiide! :c
Hark! Raaaage!
Posted 14 years ago http://www.excal.on.ca/news/dont-dr.....t-toronto-cop/
Dear World,
I sometimes want to wear shorts. Sometimes I want to wear long skirts. Sometimes I want to wear short skirts, pants, a Burqua, bloomers, a kilt, or a pair of daisy dukes. Sometimes I want to wear low cut tops, because they have an interesting embellishment around the neckline or I just feel like showing off my decollete. Sometimes I want to leave my hair uncovered, or loose, or put it up, sometimes I want to wear natural-looking makeup and sometimes I want to wear electric blue eyeshadow and green eyeliner so I look like a peacock.* And whether I'm walking down the street in a pair of heels, or a pair of clogs, I deserve to be respected as a human being.
What you wear sends a message, I understand that. I occasionally want to dress sexy when going out with my ladies. Some of us might even be looking to hook up- but that doesn't mean that we don't have the right to choose who we're picked up by. No means no, regardless of how the victim is dressed or behaving.
The fact that I am open and frank about my sexuality does not mean that I want to have sex with you.
The fact that I had sex with that guy does not mean that I want to have sex with you.
The fact that I had sex with you in the past does not mean that I want to have sex with you now.
The fact that you bought dinner does not obligate me to have sex with you.
Nothing in the world obligates me to have sex with you, and deciding to override any person's decision of what to do with their body, whether you think they "deserve" it or not, is absolutely rape and victim blaming and pretending anything to the contrary is asinine. Fuck you, Toronto cop. Fuck your complete misunderstanding of rape, and fuck your victim blaming.
Dear World,
I sometimes want to wear shorts. Sometimes I want to wear long skirts. Sometimes I want to wear short skirts, pants, a Burqua, bloomers, a kilt, or a pair of daisy dukes. Sometimes I want to wear low cut tops, because they have an interesting embellishment around the neckline or I just feel like showing off my decollete. Sometimes I want to leave my hair uncovered, or loose, or put it up, sometimes I want to wear natural-looking makeup and sometimes I want to wear electric blue eyeshadow and green eyeliner so I look like a peacock.* And whether I'm walking down the street in a pair of heels, or a pair of clogs, I deserve to be respected as a human being.
What you wear sends a message, I understand that. I occasionally want to dress sexy when going out with my ladies. Some of us might even be looking to hook up- but that doesn't mean that we don't have the right to choose who we're picked up by. No means no, regardless of how the victim is dressed or behaving.
The fact that I am open and frank about my sexuality does not mean that I want to have sex with you.
The fact that I had sex with that guy does not mean that I want to have sex with you.
The fact that I had sex with you in the past does not mean that I want to have sex with you now.
The fact that you bought dinner does not obligate me to have sex with you.
Nothing in the world obligates me to have sex with you, and deciding to override any person's decision of what to do with their body, whether you think they "deserve" it or not, is absolutely rape and victim blaming and pretending anything to the contrary is asinine. Fuck you, Toronto cop. Fuck your complete misunderstanding of rape, and fuck your victim blaming.
I feel better now.
Posted 14 years ago After the past couple of weeks, my mom knows how stressed out I've been about everything in general and mostly about the baby. So this morning she called and told me, "I happen to be in the area," (a goddamn lie, my parents live in Baltimore County,) and asked me if I wanted to go run errands with her. Eager to talk to someone who has raised six girls with varying degrees of success, I chirped, "Yes, plz!" And so Henry and my mother and I went to Pentagon City, and bought shoes, and ate at Noodles and Company, and wandered about World Market, and then she grabbed my hand and said, "Let' go to the Red Door Salon!"
"I don't have 15,000$!" I protested meekly. (that's how much they charge you just to open the door. Not really. But it's not cheap.)
"I'll treat you. Come on!" she said, and dragged me, meekly protesting, to the salon. I felt under-dressed, even dressed as relatively-nicely as I am. (skinny jeans, lace tunic, gladiator sandals, in case you were wondering.) If the manicurist was judging me, she said nothing. Henry fussed in his stroller long enough that I went and got him, and then he fussed enough that one of the manicurists went and got a basin of water and gave him a tiny little pedicure while we got our toes painted, which was extremely kind of her and now his little toes smell like lemons.
"I cannot believe how much better I feel." I said finally.
"Of course you do, baby." the manicurist said. "You are having your feet rubbed."
And sometimes life is just that simple. ;P
"I don't have 15,000$!" I protested meekly. (that's how much they charge you just to open the door. Not really. But it's not cheap.)
"I'll treat you. Come on!" she said, and dragged me, meekly protesting, to the salon. I felt under-dressed, even dressed as relatively-nicely as I am. (skinny jeans, lace tunic, gladiator sandals, in case you were wondering.) If the manicurist was judging me, she said nothing. Henry fussed in his stroller long enough that I went and got him, and then he fussed enough that one of the manicurists went and got a basin of water and gave him a tiny little pedicure while we got our toes painted, which was extremely kind of her and now his little toes smell like lemons.
"I cannot believe how much better I feel." I said finally.
"Of course you do, baby." the manicurist said. "You are having your feet rubbed."
And sometimes life is just that simple. ;P
Soon, Ellie...soon.
Posted 14 years agoIt's a Friday night at ACI, ya'll
LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Ellie
- Eye Color: Green/blue
- Hair Style/Color: Long, side-swept bangs, very red
- Height: 5'11". I'm huge!
- Clothing style: Like a hippie who takes showers.
- Best physical feature: I really don't know. My nose, apparently! Thanks Kristen!
LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: Robots, open ocean, being a bad parent, and car crashes.
- Your guilty pleasure: Every Friday we buy a gallon of ice cream and eat it and watch movies we illegally download. This week is Lawrence of Arabia!
- Your biggest pet peeve: People touching my belly.
- Your ambitions for the future: Be a good mom. Teach more things.
LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: "I have to wake up Hoos-band, then go wake baby. Both will complain. Who will complain less?"
- What you think about most: My mules. The state of things.
- What you think about before bed: I don't. I just do.
- You think your best quality is: My optimism! Thanks again, Kristen!
LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?
- Single or group dates: It depends. Who are we hanging out with?
- To be loved or respected: Respected. I don't expect the world to adore me, but I do expect everyone to grant me the same respect I grant them.
- Beauty or brains: Brains. Hands down.
- Dogs or cats: Mules!
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: Only if I have something t gain from the situation..so usually no.
- Believe in yourself: I am a walking triumph of the human spirit.
- Believe in love: Yes.
- Want someone: "I wish I could quit you!"
LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: Open mike night, what what.
- Done drugs: Nope. I've never even smoked.
- Changed who you were to fit in: Even if I had, I doubt I would have fit in.
LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: Lime. And baby pink.
- Favorite animal: Polar bears
- Favorite movie: The Road to Wellville, Atonement, Pride and Predjudice, Downton Abbey, Anchorman!
- Favorite game: "What? You threw your toy on the floor and now you want it? Okay. Here you go. Now, to do dishes- what's the matter? Oh, you threw your toy on the ground and now you want it? Okay. Here you go. Laundr- DAMMIT, HENRY."
LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday you will be: A Thursday!
- How old will you be: 24!
- Age you lost your virginity: 16
- Does age matter: It depends.
LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: Ernest, trustworthy, and caring.
- Best eye color: I am not going to be looking.
- Best hair color: Dark brown or black.
- Best thing to do with a partner: Photobomb people's metro photos. (goddammit hooband, I loved that day. C:)
LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: When we ask, "Henry, where's the baby?" and he points at the dog. (he's confused about whats going on.)
- I feel: Tired.
- I hide: Every credit card statement for the past month.
- I miss: My grandfather.
- I wish: I had more friends who I was closer to. I really need more support through all this than my mister and my family can give me, as awesome as they are.
LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Ellie
- Eye Color: Green/blue
- Hair Style/Color: Long, side-swept bangs, very red
- Height: 5'11". I'm huge!
- Clothing style: Like a hippie who takes showers.
- Best physical feature: I really don't know. My nose, apparently! Thanks Kristen!
LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: Robots, open ocean, being a bad parent, and car crashes.
- Your guilty pleasure: Every Friday we buy a gallon of ice cream and eat it and watch movies we illegally download. This week is Lawrence of Arabia!
- Your biggest pet peeve: People touching my belly.
- Your ambitions for the future: Be a good mom. Teach more things.
LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: "I have to wake up Hoos-band, then go wake baby. Both will complain. Who will complain less?"
- What you think about most: My mules. The state of things.
- What you think about before bed: I don't. I just do.
- You think your best quality is: My optimism! Thanks again, Kristen!
LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?
- Single or group dates: It depends. Who are we hanging out with?
- To be loved or respected: Respected. I don't expect the world to adore me, but I do expect everyone to grant me the same respect I grant them.
- Beauty or brains: Brains. Hands down.
- Dogs or cats: Mules!
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: Only if I have something t gain from the situation..so usually no.
- Believe in yourself: I am a walking triumph of the human spirit.
- Believe in love: Yes.
- Want someone: "I wish I could quit you!"
LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: Open mike night, what what.
- Done drugs: Nope. I've never even smoked.
- Changed who you were to fit in: Even if I had, I doubt I would have fit in.
LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: Lime. And baby pink.
- Favorite animal: Polar bears
- Favorite movie: The Road to Wellville, Atonement, Pride and Predjudice, Downton Abbey, Anchorman!
- Favorite game: "What? You threw your toy on the floor and now you want it? Okay. Here you go. Now, to do dishes- what's the matter? Oh, you threw your toy on the ground and now you want it? Okay. Here you go. Laundr- DAMMIT, HENRY."
LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday you will be: A Thursday!
- How old will you be: 24!
- Age you lost your virginity: 16
- Does age matter: It depends.
LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: Ernest, trustworthy, and caring.
- Best eye color: I am not going to be looking.
- Best hair color: Dark brown or black.
- Best thing to do with a partner: Photobomb people's metro photos. (goddammit hooband, I loved that day. C:)
LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: When we ask, "Henry, where's the baby?" and he points at the dog. (he's confused about whats going on.)
- I feel: Tired.
- I hide: Every credit card statement for the past month.
- I miss: My grandfather.
- I wish: I had more friends who I was closer to. I really need more support through all this than my mister and my family can give me, as awesome as they are.
And now for someting completely different
Posted 14 years agohere have this I can't leave work till seven.
Four Jobs I've Had
- Bartender
- Life support technician at a shitty aquarium
- Teacher
- Mom
Four Movies I Can Watch Over And Over
- Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
- The Road to Wellville
- Pride and Prejudice
- Atonement
Four Places I've Lived
- Bowie, MD
- Kapaa, Kauai
- Arlington, VA
- Alexandria, VA!
Four TV Shows I Love
- Fatal Attraction (HAHA! motherfucker got owned by a bear.)
- Glee
- Dog the Bounty Hunter (yes, I am ashamed.)
- Jeopardy!
Four Places I've Vacationed
- Uvita, Costa Rica (diving.)
- Amalfi Coast, Italy (Being followed by creepers,)
- St. Thomas, Virgin Islands (sunbathing.)
- Kalkotta, India (praying.)
Four Of My Favorite Dishes
- Falafel and naan
- Chicken and waffles
- Honey ice cream with Lavender Scones
- Anything that fits inside pastry dough
Four Sites I Visit Daily
- Facebook
- Gmail/Gchat
- Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com (Gotta stay on top of them trendz)
- mommyblog.com
Four things I like to do in my spare time
- Ride poniez
- Hike!
- ...I don't really know. I have so little of it these days..
- Read trashy magazines at the checkout counter of grocery stores.
Four Jobs I've Had
- Bartender
- Life support technician at a shitty aquarium
- Teacher
- Mom
Four Movies I Can Watch Over And Over
- Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
- The Road to Wellville
- Pride and Prejudice
- Atonement
Four Places I've Lived
- Bowie, MD
- Kapaa, Kauai
- Arlington, VA
- Alexandria, VA!
Four TV Shows I Love
- Fatal Attraction (HAHA! motherfucker got owned by a bear.)
- Glee
- Dog the Bounty Hunter (yes, I am ashamed.)
- Jeopardy!
Four Places I've Vacationed
- Uvita, Costa Rica (diving.)
- Amalfi Coast, Italy (Being followed by creepers,)
- St. Thomas, Virgin Islands (sunbathing.)
- Kalkotta, India (praying.)
Four Of My Favorite Dishes
- Falafel and naan
- Chicken and waffles
- Honey ice cream with Lavender Scones
- Anything that fits inside pastry dough
Four Sites I Visit Daily
- Gmail/Gchat
- Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com (Gotta stay on top of them trendz)
- mommyblog.com
Four things I like to do in my spare time
- Ride poniez
- Hike!
- ...I don't really know. I have so little of it these days..
- Read trashy magazines at the checkout counter of grocery stores.
I didn't want to make this a thing, but
Posted 14 years ago I cannot not talk about it any longer.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2229565/ (read the comments at the bottom of the journal and click the link. The user is banninated so don't leave any comments, or you'll get in trouble.)
And then I wept. This hits a little overly close to home. When I was 18 and I was with my ex boyfriend, after he'd been hitting me for about six months he told- and showed me, how he liked to look at child porn. When I tried to report him, he told me he would kill me and my entire family if I ever told, and I didn't breathe a word about it for five years. It took a lot of thinking and talking myself up to finally tell, and knowing that I kept it to myself for so long is something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. So I know I'm probably not in the best person to judge.
But seriously, what? You pimped out your own baby to some loser for..what? What did you get out of that that made throwing your own child to the wolves worth it? That baby can't get those two years back. She can't undo what's been done to her. And it is going to have long lasting, serious consequences. She needed you, and you left her there to suffer. I have no words for a person like you. I just don't understand.
I don't know how to describe how I feel about Henry. I cry when I look at him sometimes- he is such a little..person, with a personality and likes and dislikes of his own and I just...I like him, so very much. I can't believe he's part me, because he's so much smarter and handsomer and more interesting than I have ever been in my entire life. If anyone ever, ever ever even looked at either of my kids sideways, I'd hit them with my car. No hesitation. If needed, I'd absolutely take a bullet for either of my kids. I don't even have to waffle on it. I can just tell you now with every certainty that I would absolutely throw myself in front of a speeding train for them. I cannot fathom leaving my baby to rot with some sicko. No man is worth that. Nothing on this planet is fucking worth that.
You're a monster. And maybe I deserve to rot in hell for what I did, but you need to just as bad.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2229565/ (read the comments at the bottom of the journal and click the link. The user is banninated so don't leave any comments, or you'll get in trouble.)
And then I wept. This hits a little overly close to home. When I was 18 and I was with my ex boyfriend, after he'd been hitting me for about six months he told- and showed me, how he liked to look at child porn. When I tried to report him, he told me he would kill me and my entire family if I ever told, and I didn't breathe a word about it for five years. It took a lot of thinking and talking myself up to finally tell, and knowing that I kept it to myself for so long is something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. So I know I'm probably not in the best person to judge.
But seriously, what? You pimped out your own baby to some loser for..what? What did you get out of that that made throwing your own child to the wolves worth it? That baby can't get those two years back. She can't undo what's been done to her. And it is going to have long lasting, serious consequences. She needed you, and you left her there to suffer. I have no words for a person like you. I just don't understand.
I don't know how to describe how I feel about Henry. I cry when I look at him sometimes- he is such a little..person, with a personality and likes and dislikes of his own and I just...I like him, so very much. I can't believe he's part me, because he's so much smarter and handsomer and more interesting than I have ever been in my entire life. If anyone ever, ever ever even looked at either of my kids sideways, I'd hit them with my car. No hesitation. If needed, I'd absolutely take a bullet for either of my kids. I don't even have to waffle on it. I can just tell you now with every certainty that I would absolutely throw myself in front of a speeding train for them. I cannot fathom leaving my baby to rot with some sicko. No man is worth that. Nothing on this planet is fucking worth that.
You're a monster. And maybe I deserve to rot in hell for what I did, but you need to just as bad.
May just be the hormones, but...
Posted 14 years ago I cried.
http://lilacacres.wordpress.com/200.....-horse-rescue/
What a good mommy. I am taking notes from her.
http://lilacacres.wordpress.com/200.....-horse-rescue/
What a good mommy. I am taking notes from her.
Follow me on Twitter for art updates and also sandwiches!
Posted 14 years agohttp://twitter.com/#!/EllieBee2go
For commissioning info, crises in real-time, and what I ate for lunch today.
For commissioning info, crises in real-time, and what I ate for lunch today.
A stupid thing you notice when you have kids
Posted 14 years ago Wtf, Pediasure
Who is such an ineffective parent that their children are malnourished because they're that fucking picky? Henry will pretty much eat whatever I put in front of him, know why? Cause I don't fucking give him french fries and candy and sugar. Now that he's eating food, he's eaten sugar once, and that was last March on his birthday. He wasn't too impressed, but then...there are only a few things in the world that impress him. (My dad, my husband's best friend,and goats. Boy looooves him some goats.)
Also, pediasure is laden with sugar, caffine, and corn syrup. Just what growing bodies need!
Who is such an ineffective parent that their children are malnourished because they're that fucking picky? Henry will pretty much eat whatever I put in front of him, know why? Cause I don't fucking give him french fries and candy and sugar. Now that he's eating food, he's eaten sugar once, and that was last March on his birthday. He wasn't too impressed, but then...there are only a few things in the world that impress him. (My dad, my husband's best friend,and goats. Boy looooves him some goats.)
Also, pediasure is laden with sugar, caffine, and corn syrup. Just what growing bodies need!
A Hypothetical Query
Posted 14 years agoIf I offered 10" knitted plushies, how much would you be willing to pay?
This was dumb
Posted 14 years ago1) What's your character's name?
Jelliebean
2) How old is he/she?
24
3) Is your OC a boy or girl?
A girl
4) What's his/her race species?
albino Hawaiian feral pig!
Appearance
1) If this character were to suddenly become part of the real world, and ended up in a heavily-populated area, how many stares would he/she get?
A million. She'd be a pig who walked like a man!
2) Is your character considered normal in his/her own world?
No. She doesn't have huge tits/a gigantic horse penis/both.
3) What would be his/her most recognizable feature(s)
Tuskies? I hope tuskies.
4) Would you consider your OC as attractive?
No. It's a pig.
Personality
1) Temper?
Sometimes!
2) Does your character ever get depressed?
No..?
3) Leader or Follower?
Someone's got to lead, I suppose. :/
4) What is the main aspect(s) of his/her personality?
"I can't wear cute shoes cuz I haz trotters not feetz!" A common problem..right, ladies? Ladies?
History
1) Did your OC have a family of any sort? If so, are they still alive?
A hoosband! One toddler baybee! One more baybee on the way!
2) Is your character out on his/her own?
Unh...no?
3) Has he/she encountered any traumatizing events?
No?
4) What was probably the best time in his/her life so far?
Errrr...It's just me, in a pig suit. College?
Romance
1) Single?
Hoos-band.
2) Has your OC developed any romantic relationships?
Sure.
3) Virgin?
Immaculate.
4) Does your character like flirting?
No.
Symbolism
1) What animal would you associate your OC with?
Pigs.
2) Musical Instrument?
Ukuleles.
3) Element?
The Sea.
4) Planet?
This one?
Showing the Love
1) Do you draw your character?
Sometimes.
2) Do you write about him/her?
No.
3) Do you use him/her in any RPGs?
Hahaha. No.
4) What other ways have you appreciated your OC?
Knitted. Plush. Pig. Family.
Jelliebean
2) How old is he/she?
24
3) Is your OC a boy or girl?
A girl
4) What's his/her race species?
albino Hawaiian feral pig!
Appearance
1) If this character were to suddenly become part of the real world, and ended up in a heavily-populated area, how many stares would he/she get?
A million. She'd be a pig who walked like a man!
2) Is your character considered normal in his/her own world?
No. She doesn't have huge tits/a gigantic horse penis/both.
3) What would be his/her most recognizable feature(s)
Tuskies? I hope tuskies.
4) Would you consider your OC as attractive?
No. It's a pig.
Personality
1) Temper?
Sometimes!
2) Does your character ever get depressed?
No..?
3) Leader or Follower?
Someone's got to lead, I suppose. :/
4) What is the main aspect(s) of his/her personality?
"I can't wear cute shoes cuz I haz trotters not feetz!" A common problem..right, ladies? Ladies?
History
1) Did your OC have a family of any sort? If so, are they still alive?
A hoosband! One toddler baybee! One more baybee on the way!
2) Is your character out on his/her own?
Unh...no?
3) Has he/she encountered any traumatizing events?
No?
4) What was probably the best time in his/her life so far?
Errrr...It's just me, in a pig suit. College?
Romance
1) Single?
Hoos-band.
2) Has your OC developed any romantic relationships?
Sure.
3) Virgin?
Immaculate.
4) Does your character like flirting?
No.
Symbolism
1) What animal would you associate your OC with?
Pigs.
2) Musical Instrument?
Ukuleles.
3) Element?
The Sea.
4) Planet?
This one?
Showing the Love
1) Do you draw your character?
Sometimes.
2) Do you write about him/her?
No.
3) Do you use him/her in any RPGs?
Hahaha. No.
4) What other ways have you appreciated your OC?
Knitted. Plush. Pig. Family.
