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Free Art Contest Draw by TyrantHusky
Posted 11 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5531534/ has all the info
Commissions and raffle by Destry
Posted 11 years ago
has this going on, you should have a lookPrices: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5473933/ Every dollar spent gets you a ticket entered into this raffle: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5483035/
TMI Tuesday
Posted 11 years agoYou know what to do, ask anything you want... If you wish to ask something but want to anonymously I have http://ask.fm/JewlsDragon which you can ask things in secret.
Behind the curtain (long ranty monologue)
Posted 12 years agoI just need clear the clutter out of my head at least and just kind of make it so I can think properly and avoid being a basket case. My thoughts and feelings belong buried deep within so that it can fester into an unhealthy manifestation that can later be used as fuel for survival. I don't know, maybe I am disappointed in myself, maybe I realized I am not good enough for anyone (by my standards and other peoples') and never will be, so why do I get upset or frustrated when these occurrences arrive. I mean I already know all this but with reminders it does hurt just that much more. Perhaps in my ice block I call a heart there is a glimmer of hope that hasn't been crushed... yet. I will throw some truth out here and will deny saying it later but the truth is I am lonely, and I still don't know if I have made the right choices. I have tried to change but I am still not happy. And the truth is, while I went on meds for my anxiety, OCD and depression to focus better on school, the reality is that is a lie... well partly. The real reason is because I was sick of being sad constantly and since I can't change that and I did notice it was affecting a lot of aspects in my life I felt that was the right decision but the side effects were too much and made it difficult to function because I was constantly confused. I have lived alone for 2 years now, maybe that is why I do feel as lonely as I do, and while I have freedom I still feel like a bird trapped in a cage. I can't breathe and maybe I need to flood myself with hobbies to dull it. I need a certain friend. Talking to them really helps but sadly I haven't been able to speak to them as of late. They don't make everything better but they are a nice distraction.
Also, I have been noticing things with me, medically, as of late that has concerned me and has me to the point of being a basket case randomly. As I never admit to when I am crying or upset, as I type this I can't put a dam to block my emotions. I can't afford to be a basket case today so maybe typing this out will help with that. So far it just has put everything in perspective even more. I am not going to say publicly here what those medical issues are. I have discussed them briefly with 1 person and it did help but it doesn't take it away. All I will say is that one of the aspects I had once before. That was when my gallbladder was fused to my liver and I was dying which freaked me out then as well because it is also the last memory I have of my grandfather hours before he died. Those who I have let in that close will know from that what it is. I kind of think I know what it could possibly be, that 1 person I mentioned it to guessed it before I could say what I thought it was which honestly made it just that more real and while I expected this would happen around when I turn 30 I am still not ready. Another reason I have dreaded my next bday which is in a few months as that is when I turn 30. Side note I just realized, all of this happening now is odd because exactly 10years ago was when I was hospitalized and informed that I was dying. I don't think I am dying again but I have the same feeling I did then. Not scared, just like "wow" and saddish. Maybe a little scared.
My goal educationally I have thrown out the window and at this point it is more of a matter of just passing since I am in debt but I lack the passion I had and I honestly don't think I will ever make it as a forensic scientist. I have wanted to work in the science field since I was a young child and now I realize it isn't going to happen. While it hurts at least I can use my education towards another field. I find that I regret decisions I made about my education but things happen for a reason and if things didn't go how they did I wouldn't be in this position in life. I wouldn't have met the people I am close with, I wouldn't understand what it is like to have all these people in my life that I can confide in and not have judgments passed. Some of the people I have let into my life over the past year are extraordinary and I do love them and wouldn't trade them for anything. Everything does happen for a reason and maybe I am not meant to work with cadavers, maybe I was meant to work with the living. I do know that whatever I choose I am supposed to help people.
So what am I doing at this moment? Balling my eyes out, laying on my stomach, listening to people talking on Skype with my mic muted so they can't hear, chain smoking cigars, and thinking about Hellboy from the movie when he tells Liz "I wish I could change this" and motions to his face then says "I can promise you 2 things, I will always look this good and no one will ever love you like me" That is exactly how I feel right now which I think is why I have the connection to Hellboy like I do. Plus he has lots of kitties which is nice. All I know is that while I have a bunch of things plaguing me and I know I will just never been good enough and I have always accepted that, I can't accept it any longer. I feel used a lot of the time and I do feel like I am only useful when people are in need of something then once I help them I am tossed away again.
I pretend everything is ok and fake a smile so that I don't make others worry and I can help them with their issues but the truth of the matter is I am scared, hurt, lonely, confused, and I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I think closing myself off is my best option but it has always been what I have always done and the results are always the same. I am totally lost. I have tried to take steps towards being more comfortable with people but I just can't open up as easily as I would like and it has taken a lot for me to type all of this and post it but it is part of me trying.
Also, I have been noticing things with me, medically, as of late that has concerned me and has me to the point of being a basket case randomly. As I never admit to when I am crying or upset, as I type this I can't put a dam to block my emotions. I can't afford to be a basket case today so maybe typing this out will help with that. So far it just has put everything in perspective even more. I am not going to say publicly here what those medical issues are. I have discussed them briefly with 1 person and it did help but it doesn't take it away. All I will say is that one of the aspects I had once before. That was when my gallbladder was fused to my liver and I was dying which freaked me out then as well because it is also the last memory I have of my grandfather hours before he died. Those who I have let in that close will know from that what it is. I kind of think I know what it could possibly be, that 1 person I mentioned it to guessed it before I could say what I thought it was which honestly made it just that more real and while I expected this would happen around when I turn 30 I am still not ready. Another reason I have dreaded my next bday which is in a few months as that is when I turn 30. Side note I just realized, all of this happening now is odd because exactly 10years ago was when I was hospitalized and informed that I was dying. I don't think I am dying again but I have the same feeling I did then. Not scared, just like "wow" and saddish. Maybe a little scared.
My goal educationally I have thrown out the window and at this point it is more of a matter of just passing since I am in debt but I lack the passion I had and I honestly don't think I will ever make it as a forensic scientist. I have wanted to work in the science field since I was a young child and now I realize it isn't going to happen. While it hurts at least I can use my education towards another field. I find that I regret decisions I made about my education but things happen for a reason and if things didn't go how they did I wouldn't be in this position in life. I wouldn't have met the people I am close with, I wouldn't understand what it is like to have all these people in my life that I can confide in and not have judgments passed. Some of the people I have let into my life over the past year are extraordinary and I do love them and wouldn't trade them for anything. Everything does happen for a reason and maybe I am not meant to work with cadavers, maybe I was meant to work with the living. I do know that whatever I choose I am supposed to help people.
So what am I doing at this moment? Balling my eyes out, laying on my stomach, listening to people talking on Skype with my mic muted so they can't hear, chain smoking cigars, and thinking about Hellboy from the movie when he tells Liz "I wish I could change this" and motions to his face then says "I can promise you 2 things, I will always look this good and no one will ever love you like me" That is exactly how I feel right now which I think is why I have the connection to Hellboy like I do. Plus he has lots of kitties which is nice. All I know is that while I have a bunch of things plaguing me and I know I will just never been good enough and I have always accepted that, I can't accept it any longer. I feel used a lot of the time and I do feel like I am only useful when people are in need of something then once I help them I am tossed away again.
I pretend everything is ok and fake a smile so that I don't make others worry and I can help them with their issues but the truth of the matter is I am scared, hurt, lonely, confused, and I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I think closing myself off is my best option but it has always been what I have always done and the results are always the same. I am totally lost. I have tried to take steps towards being more comfortable with people but I just can't open up as easily as I would like and it has taken a lot for me to type all of this and post it but it is part of me trying.
Free plushies!!!
Posted 12 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5072412/
also please check out
http://igg.me/at/Mermade/x/4671770
also please check out
http://igg.me/at/Mermade/x/4671770
Lol, stupid as hell but I am bored... going to hell anyway
Posted 12 years ago[x] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the opposite sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[x] watched porn
[x] bought porn
[x] tried drugs
TOTAL: 10
[x] taken painkillers
[x] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[x] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[x] gotten into a fight
[ ] wished someone to die
[ ] seen someone die.
TOTAL: 18
[x] missed curfew
[x] stayed out all night
[ ] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[ ] been to a therapist
[x] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[x] been in an accident
[ ] been to a club
[x] been to a bar
TOTAL: 24
[ ] been to a wild party.
[x] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[ ] had a spring break in Florida
[x] sniffed anything
[x] wore black nail polish
[x] wore arm bands
[x] wore t-shirts with band names
[x] listened to rap
[x] owned a hardcore metal CD
TOTAL: 31
[x] dressed gothic
[ ] dressed lolita
[x] dressed girly
[x] dressed punk
[ ] dressed grunge
[x] stole something
[ ] been too drunk to remember anything
[x] blacked out
[x] fainted
[x] laughed at someone's pain
[ ] had a crush on a neighbor
TOTAL: 38
[x] had a crush on a friend
[x] been to a concert.
[x] dry-humped someone
[x] been called a slut
[x] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in your car
[x] broken a mirror
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[ ] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.
TOTAL: 45
[x] considered Ludicrous your favorite rapper
[x] seen an R-rated movie in theater
[ ] cruised on mail
[x] skipped school
[x] had surgery
[x] had an injury
[x] gone to court
[ ] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[ ] caught something on fire
[x] lied about your age
TOTAL: 52
[ ] owned/rented an apartment/house
[x] broke the law in the police's presence
[x] made out with someone who had a gf/bf
[x] got in trouble with the police
[x] talked to a stranger
[x] hugged a stranger
[ ] licked a stranger
[x] been verbally harassed
[x] been physically harassed
TOTAL: 59
[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[x] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[x] been to a fair
[x] been called a bad influence
[ ] drank and drove
[x] prank-called someone
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[x] cheated on a test
GRAND: 61
If You Have Less Than 10...Write [I'm a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10...Write [I'm average]
If You Have More Than 20...Write [I'm bad kid]
If You Have More Than 30...Write [I'm a bad influence]
If You Have More Than 40...Write [I'm a horrible person]
If You Have More Than 50...Write [I should be in jail]
If you have More Than 60...Write [I should be shot]
If You Have More Than 70...Write [I should be dead]
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the opposite sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[x] watched porn
[x] bought porn
[x] tried drugs
TOTAL: 10
[x] taken painkillers
[x] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[x] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[x] gotten into a fight
[ ] wished someone to die
[ ] seen someone die.
TOTAL: 18
[x] missed curfew
[x] stayed out all night
[ ] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[ ] been to a therapist
[x] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[x] been in an accident
[ ] been to a club
[x] been to a bar
TOTAL: 24
[ ] been to a wild party.
[x] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[ ] had a spring break in Florida
[x] sniffed anything
[x] wore black nail polish
[x] wore arm bands
[x] wore t-shirts with band names
[x] listened to rap
[x] owned a hardcore metal CD
TOTAL: 31
[x] dressed gothic
[ ] dressed lolita
[x] dressed girly
[x] dressed punk
[ ] dressed grunge
[x] stole something
[ ] been too drunk to remember anything
[x] blacked out
[x] fainted
[x] laughed at someone's pain
[ ] had a crush on a neighbor
TOTAL: 38
[x] had a crush on a friend
[x] been to a concert.
[x] dry-humped someone
[x] been called a slut
[x] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in your car
[x] broken a mirror
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[ ] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.
TOTAL: 45
[x] considered Ludicrous your favorite rapper
[x] seen an R-rated movie in theater
[ ] cruised on mail
[x] skipped school
[x] had surgery
[x] had an injury
[x] gone to court
[ ] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[ ] caught something on fire
[x] lied about your age
TOTAL: 52
[ ] owned/rented an apartment/house
[x] broke the law in the police's presence
[x] made out with someone who had a gf/bf
[x] got in trouble with the police
[x] talked to a stranger
[x] hugged a stranger
[ ] licked a stranger
[x] been verbally harassed
[x] been physically harassed
TOTAL: 59
[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[x] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[x] been to a fair
[x] been called a bad influence
[ ] drank and drove
[x] prank-called someone
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[x] cheated on a test
GRAND: 61
If You Have Less Than 10...Write [I'm a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10...Write [I'm average]
If You Have More Than 20...Write [I'm bad kid]
If You Have More Than 30...Write [I'm a bad influence]
If You Have More Than 40...Write [I'm a horrible person]
If You Have More Than 50...Write [I should be in jail]
If you have More Than 60...Write [I should be shot]
If You Have More Than 70...Write [I should be dead]
Free Fur Head Raffle by Hybrid Studios
Posted 12 years ago
is hosting a raffle for a free fursuit head. All you have to do is pay the shipping! The details are here -> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4908633/RULES
The prize is for a head only (please see my gallery for examples), not a partial or a fullsuit - if the winner wishes to "upgrade" to a full/partial it WILL NOT be done by the proposed Christmas 2013 date and will be added to the end of my commission queue. The winner will also need to pay appropriate fees.
The prize of this raffle is for ANY species but there will be limits on design complications. The design will be discussed upon winning and we can come to an agreement. I will be willing to accept MOST designs for this but some exceptionally complex designs may need to be simplified.
The winner MUST note me to confirm that they accept the prize within 48HRS, otherwise the raffle will be redrawn and a new winner will be selected.
The winner MUST pay shipping and any customs fees. As this is a prize it WILL be marked as a GIFT.
The draw will take place on SEPTEMBER 1ST 2013 (time to be confirmed closer to the time) via stream and the winner will be chosen using a randomized website
I will not exchange cash or goods for tickets
TMI Tuesday!
Posted 12 years agoYou know what to do
Fucked up random Sunday <3
Posted 12 years agoSo, I have declared today random Sunday.This means this journal thread is random in general starting with a random question or topic then seeing where the convo goes. I saw something similar to this on another site so I figure why not.
You walk into your room, I am bound with rope, blindfolded and gagged, literally can't do a thing. How would you respond? What would you do? There is no right or wrong answer so have fun.Stop on by please
Posted 12 years agoA fellow furry, Night Moonbayer (leader of Bayer Buddies™ wolfpack) will be doing a live broadcast at www.mondoclub.com/nightmoonbayer in a few minutes.
He is a gothic, thearin husky wolf that expresses love and gives out entertainment to those who want to watch it. He sings, play music, dances and provides comedy as well.
If you would like, pop in and say hello. We don't bite unless you ask us nicely ;)TMI Thursday
Posted 12 years agoTmi Thursday, ask me anything you would like and I will answer it. Really anything at all. No limits.
Please everyone if you could give me a moment of your time
Posted 12 years agoPlease if you could take a moment to view and possibly sign this petition that would be great. Thank you all very much.http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/freezarr/A short update. my fish would've done better i sleepy so idk
Posted 12 years agoSo here I sit at 4:20AM, Tuesday, 6-18-13 and I am so tired but my mind won't sleep. I am currently at my cousins house doing a couple favors like watching the pups and whatnot. I finally have what I need to start to attempt to draw. I want to draw anthropomorphic characters and a short comic made from an inside joke. There is just one problem... I haven't drawn in a very long time and when I did my strong points were always still life and portraits that were not shaded with detail. I always had an issue with shading but not so much now. My other issue is that I could never draw animals. People and diagrams and inanimate objects I was ok with so this will be new. Either way I plan to have a lot of fun and possibly, if one comes out decent, I might do a scratch board of it.
I feel drunk or high now so I am going to attempt to nap a bit then I will start sketching and hopefully post them here.
Much love xoxo
Jewls
I feel drunk or high now so I am going to attempt to nap a bit then I will start sketching and hopefully post them here.
Much love xoxo
Jewls
Thank you
Posted 12 years agoThankfully I have some amazing friends who make me so happy. I love every one of you with all my heart. I really don't know where I would be now if I never joined the pack. I also think to my self, why the hell did it take so long to meet you all! Each and every one of you are amazing, never forget that. In my eyes the sun rises and sets on you all and I am thankful for each moment I share with you. I love you and I am always here for you <3
