Picked up my computer today.

Supposedly there is nothing wrong with it. It behaved well and survived all stress tests. Seriously, what the fuck.

Asked one guy what might be the cause of things and he pondered maybe a software issue. Backup up all the shit I didn't have on backup yet and then I guess I'll have to luck into purging the hard drive and install the OS again.

Computer in for repairs. No idea when it'll be back.

Thanks for all the suggestions, unfortunately they didn't help as I do not have a second machine that could help me pull stuff off the drive. All I have aside the computer that crapped out is this tiny notebook... so tiny it doesn't even have a disk drive (and being in the midst of moving, I don't have the spare cash to buy an external disk drive... heck, the whole issue is going to put me into the red numbers).

So right now, it'll be the old "sit and wait" game. Hopefully the repair place can sucessfully save some of my stuff. While I have a lot of my files on backup, I'd still loose a couple of months worth of stuff if the data saving fails :/

So, my comp died. Again.
I've had issues during the summer months the past two years, mainly Windows coming up and then insta-freezing, but this time, I don't even get that far.

Bastard was working just fine last night, I try to run it now and I get a Boot Disk Failure right away, before even seeing anything Windows. Inserting the CD as requested but the startup repair does not work. I don’t want to re-install Windows, fearing it might eat all my files and I dunno enough about BIOS things to mess around in there.

Error report is bitching about some external media and no hard drive. dunno what it wants, I didn't add any new things to my system, nor did I unplug anything and I wasn't touching the hard drive either... so I have no fucking clue how things happened. Or why exactly.

So I guess I am leaving for work early today, bringing this thing in for repair. God bless my teeny tiny notebook, at least I still have an option to use AIM and Skype.

You enjoy a juicy Teldrassil Tenderloin or a dripping Silvermoon Steak, but you earn weird looks from people for it? You think Alliance has the greatest taste and if it’s wrong that people are good eating, you don’t want to be right?

If you’ve got this kind of “An Acquired Taste”, we’re the like-minded bunch of meat lovers you’ve been looking for!


A little bit of advertising outside the game here. “And Acquired Taste” is looking for more members of all races, classes and levels. Alts are welcome, too. We’re mainly about RP, but we have fun doing quests, dungeon runs (normal and heroic), scenarios and old world content. If we get enough people, we might even start tackling current raid content, but at the time, these are plans for the future.

We’re currently a level 9 guild with 7 bank tabs and we aim to be a helpful, drama free guild. You don’t have to be an overly active player, real life comes before the game and you won’t have to worry to get kicked for not being online enough.

So, if you are on Wyrmrest Accord US, Horde and you have a character who’s fond of the treats the meat lady at Darkmoon Faire is selling or if you have similar culinary interests, either apply to the guild (we’re listed in the guild finder) or send an ingame mail or /pst to Hitoh, Lyho or Mugdul.


[Edit:] Hidden a bunch of comments because this was turning into a Horde VS Alliance debate. Please keep that shit at the front door. Thank you very much.

I thought I was done with that topic, but I guess I have to talk about it again because there's a case of "LULZ IF U UPLOADED IT TO THE INTERWEBS, IT'S PROPERTY OF THE INTERWEBS SO I CAN DO WITH IT WHAT I WANT" going on.

First of all, I am very well aware that once you upload stuff to the web, it'll be floating around for all eternity. There will always be a place where you can still stumble over your stuff... it's harder to get rid off than a rep sheet or any other, possibly negative, record.

However, just because it's on the internet doesn't mean you can do whatever you want with it. And just because about everyone else does it, doesn't mean everyone else is right about it.
There used to be such a thing like "etiquette" and "manners", or at least a bit of common sense. A little bit of respect for people's decisions. I've experienced a fair share of douchebaggery and disrespect and I've seen a lot of people try to raise a certain awareness about the issue, but it seems instead of getting better, things just get worse.

Now, I was sent a link to a topic on Eka's forums, which is the reason for me to write this journal. It'll be my final word on this and I have no intensions on ever discussing it again.

People complained I took down my stuff over at the Portal without any notice or given reasons.
While I don't think it's required to tell the whole web about my very own reasons for what I do, there had been a blog entry posted before I deleted everything, explaining my decision. Said journal got deleted with everything else once I wiped the gallery.

So, for those who missed it:
- I removed stuff due to work related issues. There was an instance where I got denied a job due to me being connected with "inacceptable" pieces of artwork. Vore was part of that.
- A handful of people were giving me a hard time. I got harassed on Eka's, and even my DA, FA and my various messengers weren't save from the people attacking me. I was called names and wished to hell and back, simply for drawing what I enjoyed drawing and sharing it. Some people felt like I needed to cater to their interests and that free of charge. When I offered to draw for them for a small fee, they declared me the devil and unleashed their fury on me, in form of really harsh insults.

I'm just an artist. The main reason I draw is for is fun. I draw for myself, because I enjoy drawing. And I like sharing my work because the feedback (not all of it, but a good deal) helps me improve. What people get to see in my online galleries are finished pictures. For them they're just there to look at and they're free.
But it feels like the majority of people doesn't see that there's a lot of work involved. Depending on the picture I spend a whole workday (8-9 hours) on it, in other cases even more. It's my spare time and while I like to draw for friends every now and then, I cannot draw requests. There would be no end to it if I started (and I used to do requests way back, I know what I am talking about).

But instead of trying to understand my point of view, I was treated like a machine. A machine that produces art, just for others to enjoy and -especially in the vore department- to fap to. When I denied requests, people got hostile, and as sorry as I am for the fans of my work (they outweigh the douchebags in numbers), I just don't feel like sharing that kind of stuff under those circumstances.

And I'd highly appreciate if there was no redistribution of the old stuff.

I was hoping I didn't need to go and tell people, but seeing that forum topic I think I lost the bit of hope I had. It makes me sad to see the lack of common sense and how rude people act when others try to be reasonable and respectful. So here it is what you asked for: An explicit NO - DO NOT POST/SHARE/SELL (or otherwise distribute) my old vore content.
Preferably, that counts for all my work. You're welcome to download images, hoard them on your harddrive and keep them for personal enjoyment, but please, don't go about spreading them without asking for permission.

Just ask -me- for my art. I have the whole shit on backup.

"You should put some more of your old vore work up! They were all great."

Because I keep messages like that after Mr. Person posted our last OC collab to the site, so I feel the need to adress this.

I AM NOT GOING TO RE-UPLOAD ANY OLD VORE.

Nor am I going to post any new one (at least not here or on Eka's or on any other "obvious" place you'd go for vore).

Shit got taken down for a reason and as far as I am concerned, that's all you need to know about it. End of story.

Yes, I have one.

Well, actually more than one. And because I don't follow enough yet... drop me a link so I can visit you?

My personal Tumblr: http://jidanetribal.tumblr.com/
My WoW Tumblr: http://thehitmeister.tumblr.com/

So, things are looking up for me atm.
My health's been stable for the most part and I got a new job, which means a place (and life) of my own again in the not too far future.

Now pair that with really lovely weather and me getting a new camera (a CANON, a "real" camera, not those tiny snapshot thingens) and the result is Jiji tripping through the zoo.
So, my apologies go to those people waiting for new artwork, because I am uploading a lot of pictures right now. I'll try to keep it to my absolute favorite shots tho. No worries, I didn't give up on drawing and there will be drawn art uploaded again, it just might take a while till I find the right rythm my, right now heavily changing, life.

I do hope you'll enjoy some of the photos, because I had a lot of fun taking them.

After our first cat Charly died in January, Roshi left our family today, too.

I mentioned in earlier journals that he had been sick and he tried to pull through, tho in the end, he didn't make it. We took him to the vet today and even he said there was nothing more to be done than save him from suffering, so we had him put down.

At least he's with his best friend Charly again now. Say hello to him, Roshi, will you?

Will you look at that, shameless self-promotion of my contest entry.

All joking aside, yes, I am taking part and it'd be cool if you guys would have a look at my design and maybe even leave a vote if you like it. There's not much to it, all you have to do is to...

1.) go here: http://jidane.deviantart.com/#/d4p92lk
2.) in the top right next to the image, just below the "Add to Favorites" button, you'll find another button saying "I'd wear this!"
3.) click on "I'd wear this!"

And that's it! As said, not much to it.

Thanks in advance. Every vote is highly appreciated.

It was a short night.

As you may have seen on my latest submission, my cat Charly died. It was 11:35pm on January 1st, 2012.

I am not sure what it was, but it appears something happened that supposedly caused water in his lungs. It happened fast and somewhat unexpected, because he's never shown any signs of that being a problem.
He died in my arms and while I am thankful he no longer has to struggle, I feel really sorry for the time he had to fight. Questions over questions have been racing through my mind ever since.

Did I do the right thing?
Would it have been better for him to be put down at the vet's, a place he really hated? If I had taken him to be put down earlier, would I feel any better? Or would I feel miserable because he could have had more days?

No matter how I play it out, no scenario leaves a satisfying answer.

I am tired. my head hurts, my eyes are puffed up and burn. Somehow, I can still cry tears and they just keep coming. I don't know how to feel, it's all so... unreal. he's still laying on my bed and part of me is just waiting for him to get up and start demanding his bowl of kibble to be filled.
People keep telling me to remember only the good memories, the fun times we had. And in 18 years, there were sure a lot. but right now, all I see, all I hear is that horrifying last breath of his. And the feeling of his body just going limp in an instant.

We're going to have him cremated, but it's up to me to decide, if I want the ash sent home after they're done. On one side, I think he'd love to be among "his" humans, on the other side, I am afraid it'll hurt me more and longer than needed.

And it'll hurt a long, long time.



( I would like to thank you for the condolences and kind words posted in the comments to the picture I uploaded during the night. They're all appreciated, especially because you guys barely know me and never knew Charly and thus could give way less of a fuck about it.
Thank you very, very much. )

Two of the family cats might not see the new year.

Charlie, now 18 years old, had a stroke roughly 6 months ago. He's been pulling through and doing well, despite loosing his sight almost completely, but it's getting worse with him. Muscles failing, he can barely walk and the parents plan to take him to the vet to put him down after christmas.

And Roshie, 16 years, got sick now, too. The poor baby's got dropsy. The vet gave him two injections today and I have to feed him some pills. If the treatment doesn't help, it looks bad for him as well.

I know it's the best for an animal to be put down before it suffers, but I also know it'll be really, REALLY hard to do. After all, they've been around for so long.

Computer's dead.

And currently in repair.

Saved what I could but didn't get everything in time, hopefully there's no need to fuck around with the hard drives.

I've got no idea when I get the damn thing back.

I really don't need to to tell you guys what's rocking my boat once more, making a lovely trip down the river an enormous desaster?

While kidney L flipped me the bird, which has been made official in May, kidney R now decided to throw a belated birthday party on Tuesday. Well, actually it was Monday evening, but by Tuesday morning I was feeling so miserable, I would have thrown myself out the window if I would have made it up there. the pain kept me low on the ground, curled up like a worm that just had been stepped on by somebody.

It looks good in terms of me skipping hospital this time tho, but the meds I got are taking me out of the big picture more than I thought they would. The painkillers keep me flying so high, that even in school my fellow students are afraid to let me go anywhere by myself and the mixture with all the other (new) crap I got makes me a really moody bitch, close to defining the term "antisocial" new. I find myself ready to explode at the tiniest things, stuff I'd usually shrug off or otherwise ignore without a fuss.

Blergh. I do not like it.

The positive side about it: I guess I get a pretty good idea now of how that thistlehead of a belf warlock I rolled works ICly XD



Hope I'll be halfways back on the road by Monday, after sleeping the load of the meds off.

Long nothing new on the kidney front.

Issues were mostly solved last August, in November they got rid of the stents and everything seemed to be just fine. But then the left kidney decided to throw a fit. But this time, a really sneaky one. The blasted thing must have gotten inspiration from Gandhi for I don't feel any pains or other not so great symptoms that would hint at things being amiss here.

I just came home from an appointment and a little ordeal that involed needles and a catscan and I now know, the left kidney is (for reasons still unknown) pretty much dead. It functions to not more than a mere 20%, so the other kidney has to work overtime.
Despite the fact that I knew something was wrong and the results wouldn't be all awesome, I have to admit that the results hit harder than I imagined they would.

Next week my urologist is going to try and make some suggestions as of what to do next, but till then, there's this giant question mark haunting me.

Those who follow my journal ramblings know already, for the others here's a quick summary:

I moved back to Germany last July after spending roughly two years in Arizona. Everything was fine until in october, my left kidney went on strike. It's been a rough ride because in the beginning, the doctors tried to tell me it's not my kidney and after my third time in an ER (within a week), they finally figured out that I was, in fact, having trouble with my kidney. It turned out it wasn't too bad, something clogged up, they put a stent in and considered it done. After six weeks they removed the stent... and two days later I was back in hospital.

To make a short story long, what followed were a lot of smaller surgeries, mainly replacing stents every 4 to 6 weeks. In February, one of the surgeries resulted in an infection that, to this day, couldn't be stopped, despite the doctors pumping me full with antibiotics. To top that, my right kidney decided to join the fun around Easter and started out just like the left one had months before. So a second stent.
By the time my body didn't want to take any of it anymore, so I got more meds including a lot of painkillers to make my days less miserable.

Almost a year later, doctors figured out there is a filter issue invovled as well. I'm not sure if I caught everything, but supposedly a lot of stuff that's supposed to stay in my body... just doesn't. Which results in a lot of other issues. But they can't do a thing against it until the infection is taken care of and for that the stents need to get out. they have to make sure I won't need them anymore tho, so that's why I am going to have some "real" surgery now.

Leaving tomorrow morning, dunno when I will be back.

I'll see you all when I'm home again.

Inferno, Canto 6 of The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri

Cerberus, monster cruel and uncouth,
With his three gullets like a dog is barking
Over the people that are there submerged.

Red eyes he has, and unctuous beard and black,
And belly large, and armed with claws his hands;
He rends the spirits, flays, and quarters them.

Howl the rain maketh them like unto dogs;
One side they make a shelter for the other;
Oft turn themselves the wretched reprobates.

When Cerberus perceived us, the great worm!
His mouths he opened, and displayed his tusks;
Not a limb had he that was motionless.

And my Conductor, with his spans extended,
Took of the earth, and with his fists well filled,
He threw it into those rapacious gullets.

Such as that dog is, who by barking craves,
And quiet grows soon as his food he gnaws,
For to devour it he but thinks and struggles,

The like became those muzzles filth-begrimed
Of Cerberus the demon, who so thunders
Over the souls that they would fain be deaf

I make videos. Nothing world moving, you know. Just cutting a full movie into handy pieces and then stitch it back together to (sometimes totally random picked) music.

I'd upload them to youtube for easier sharing, but since I sit in Germany, for some stupid reason or another, that damn site places a lock on the video. Not for everyone, mind you, but for assorted countries. And I have no influence on that.
It's something that's pissing me off about youtube lately, I often get links sent over AIM and friends are all "Omg, you have to check this out" and all I get is this blasted "This video is blocked/not available in your country".

What the hell.

Seriously, what sense does it make to upload stuff you want to share with people all over the world, if at least half the people you sent the links to can't watch it anyways.

So I threw the stuff on Photobucket. Now, someone had troubles with the site with their browser bitching about some "invalid file structure", but that's been one person so far and for everyone else it's been working just fine.



HTTYD: Ready to Roll - Jet Black Stare
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v.....=Film_0001.flv

A little a spoiler-ish clip, as it has a good amount of content that's from really late in the movie. But that's usually how it goes, you have all the action and 'splosions at the end of a movie.
This one has a whee little mistake at the 2:19 mark. I managed to accidently skip a frame when clipping, so it looks like a really weird cut. I was able to fix it, but for some reason that cheap-o Windows Movie Maker decides not to save the corrected version. It keeps yapping about the files having been moved (while I did not touch them and the're still were they where when it saved the bugged version) and me having not enough free space to save it (while having more than several gigs on both my drives).
So yeah. It's a little weird skip to the next scene, it's just about a second, so please forgive me for that.


HTTYD: Always - Erasure
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v.....ure-always.flv

You are allowed to curse me to hell and back for that one. It spawned from a Robot Unicorn /HTTYD crossover artwork I found on DA and... yeah. I could have gone with all the pink clouds and stuff alone as the whole scene of that flight is long enough to cover the song, but I decided to add some more of the... cute stuff as well.


Enjoy.
(Since I need the Photobucket space otherwise, the videos are only temporary. In case the links don't work, drop me a line, I can attach the stuff to an email.)

I'd loose so many mounts, my virtual purse would cry.

But seriously, RDR (Red Dead Redemption) is awesome. Then again, I might be biased because I love the "Wild West" corners of the States and lived there for a couple a years (and dear lord, do I miss it).

I just wish the cougars and wolves would stop eating my horse(s) when I try to shoot them.

With all those "holy" movies showing on TV over the easter holidays, I feel like sharing some.

A good friend actually linked this to me around christmas time, but it works just as good now. It's totally NSFW and if you can't take people poking fun at religious topics, just don't watch it.

I for my part was all WTF when I first saw it, but it just get's better each time. It's as awesome as it's wrong.

http://xtshare.com/toshare.php?Id=21082

...done that.

Yep, I now can say "OMFG I SAW EET!" I never saw "Dancing with Wolves" an I hear people comparing those movies. If I had to point my finger I'd say it's

- a good portion of Albion
- some Mononoke Hime
- a bit of Nasicaä
- a tad of WoW
- a chunk of Secret of Mana
- and maybe a bit fern Gully

Pack it all in a blender, mix it good, pour et voilá: AVATAR.

And you know what? It really doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter that at some points you really know where it's going. there's moments where you are like "Oh yeah, I -so- know this will be happening", but seriously, you don't give a fuck because the images are really, really beautiful.
I got to see it in 3D. I heard that, supposedly, going to an IMAX for that is the best you can get, but I'm not driving 2 hours to the next IMAX if the local cineplex does 3D showings as well. Thus I stay with the very beautiful statement and don't call it epic since it seems I haven't seen EPIC yet.

Either way, very, very lovely movie and worth sitting through it the whole 161 minutes.

I know I wanted to see this movie since I stumbled over the first trailer on youtube. The moment I saw it something in my head shouted ALBION.

What's Albion?
One of my favorite PC games ever. As far as I know not many people know it and because it's an old game, the young ones probably will never know it. It's from 1995 if I remember right and it's an RPG. The overworld features the normal top-view you see in many RPGs or action adventures, but the cities and dungeon switch to a the sort of first view like you know it from shooter games like DOOM.

Albion Box Art: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v.....game_cover.jpg

You're a pilot aboard a spaceship that's to check out a planet which, accorind to the computer, has more than harsh conditions to live on or none at all. On a little exploration trip your ship crashes and you wake up in a lush tropic surrounding with the local cat-like folk tending your wounds from the crash.
Despite the color, a more cat-like face and the females having multiple breasts, the Iskai of Albion look quite a lot like the Na'vi what goes for the build. Tall, slender, long neck, long tail... I can't help it but think that Cameron played some Albion himself.

Iskai/Na'vi: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v....._vergleich.jpg

But yeah. I don't give a shit about the director or the hype abround the movie. I just totally love the fact it brings me so many wonderful nostalgic moments back and that's why I'll go to see it, if it sucks or not (yep, I know a few people that didn't like it).

So after surgery and living for two months with that horrible stent... it's back to hospital for me.

Two weeks ago they removed the stent but the kidney's swelling didn't become less. After today's x-rays I know the darn thing is still not working like it's supposed to, so tomorrow morning I have another surgery.

Sucks.

I have too much old stuff hanging around.

I dunno, you get that feeling sometimes that something doesn't fit? A picture you used to be proud of when you uploaded it, but now it feels like an eye sore when you look at it?

There's some pictures I think about redrawing because I still like the basic idea, but I think I could pull it off better.

See it as early spring cleaning or something.
Out with the old and in with some new (hopefully better) stuff.

Feel free to ignore it, I just need to vent.

HOW THE FFF IS IT ALWAYS GODDAMN COINCIDENCE WHEN SOMEBODY COMES UP WITH SOMETHING THAT MORE THAN JUST SUBTLETY REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE ELSES WORK?

There, had to be done. Sorry. I had two people today pointing out two different artists that came up with characters similiar to some of my work. Strangely enough, no matter how often I come across this and ask (and i'm being nice, not OMG YOU RIPPED ME OFF), I always get the same answer: "I totally didn't notice when drawing it" or "OMG what a coincidence".

Am I buying that? By now I guess I'm paranoid enough that I have to say "No, the FFF I do".

I have Dest since 4 years now and he's been all over the net, FA, DA, SA, y!gal and not to mention half a million vore sites. I dare to say he's pretty well known and it really makes me sad to see obvious features of his just taken 1:1 and all I get is a speech of what a wondrous concidence it is. Or people just don't give a fuck.

I'm not the best artist, but I draw because I have fun. There's a lot of heart in my drawings, no matter how stupid, weird or gross they may be and it's a shame people have so little interest in the worries of an artist.

I'm not against people being inspired, that's entirely fine. Hell, even copying is fine as long as you give credit to the original piece. Everyone starts small and I do understand that tracing things or taking another artist as inspiration is part of the learning process. Still doesn't hurt to mention what inspired them instead getting snappy.

But it's the internet, right? It's who finds it, keeps it and if you upload something for free then it's your own fault if people run off with your concepts.


[Edit:] People keep bringing up this one http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3054876/, which has been more or less resolved before I broke out in this rant. I'm still not entirely happy about the similarties, but the artist linked my stuff so I'm not going to complain.

I've been linked this http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3058635 over on Eka's with the note it looks fishy and even tho the colors are different, this demon called Destruction looks quite like my boy of the same name.


[Edit 2:] Seems the last link provided misteriously disappeared after the fella who linked me on Eka's poked the person about it.