Wanted to write this to talk about how ive been feeling over the last year, i was gonna make this sooner but i had an alt that leaked and i didnt want people to think this was about that which i should probably address that stuff lol
uhh i dont feel one way the other about that art leaking but i wanted to say like the amount of support and kind messages i received about that stuff was almost overwhelming so thank you everybody for that it really means a lot.

On a more serious note though over a year ago now I found myself very porn addicted and like i didnt even realize how scary of a thing that was until i fell deeper into it i found myself getting into worse and worse things due to just being overexposed and losing myself in porn. Next thing i know i was in taboo spaces doing rp's of taboo kinks and maybe to some people this isn't a big deal or you think who cares its just rp but for me its scary to think i was chasing such a rush for no reason, to the point where i was fetishizing my addiction and im beyond disappointed that i even got that way.
Im no therapist but can only equate this all to just depression? I been doin this for almost 9 years now and during that time i just stopped taking care of myself, i prioritize how my social media accounts are doing over my own health, I feel ashamed that it took me about to hit 30 to realize this.
Even though a lot of this stuff is older and Id like to think i had the self reflection necessary to do better and not make porn my whole life, I think some time away from socials and some genuine therapy/help is what i feel like i really need, really just get away from endless scrolling on multiple sites before i put myself back into that addiction, cause nsfw is ultimately supposed to be fun. Its fun to get a comm with friends or do art trades and post things ive worked on and i wanna get back to that mindset.

I also been just wondering if this what i wanna do forever? Or at least for the foreseeable future. I just wanna take some time to get my life together a bit and figure out that next step if its there for me. Cause like i love drawing its my passion and i wanna take things to the next level, or at least work on some bigger projects and stuff yknow but i need a better work life balance.
I think right now i wanna take a full cleanse for a bit and just really realign my priorities and live life a lil bit more, ill still be drawing youll prob see comms ive done floatin around cause yknow, gotta work. But a break from the stress of being on a schedule to post art at certain times or get things done super fast is a small but necessary step toward some better mental health imo, theres so much more than whats behind my computer screen and its sad to say that ive neglected it since i started drawing right out of college.

And I prob didnt need to make this post but i didnt wanna leave people waitin on me to post in the dark and i think some transparency and vulnerability is what i needed honestly.
Of course though if youre disappointed in me over the stuff i vented about at the beginning i understand completely, all i can say is im not perfect, i fuck up like everyone else maybe even more, that being said i dont blame anybody but myself.
If you do fuck with me though thank you for everything, whether you follow me and drop a like here and there or are a patron of mine or you even just dropped a link of my art in a discord server, i wouldnt be able to do what i can without the kind people ive met online and im forever grateful i dont say it as much as i should honestly. I dont really know when ill be back, whether its months or a year+ i hope to come back a better version of myself.

Thanks for reading.

gonna be spam uploading soon, everything over the past uhhh.. well last time i uploaded which was like 7-8 months ago lmfaoooo

worst part is last time this happened i said i wouldnt wait this long agaain snadjfksfjdf
was tryna work with postybird to learn how to use that but my brains too fried so im just sayin fuck it and just gonna do em 1 at a time, this is my punishment for forgetting to upload here in the first place so yeah

sorry ahead of time for the spam in your sub boxes <333

havent uploaded in a year cause im lazy and the more my art stacked up i knew uploading would be a hassle with the wait you gotta do on uploads lol

but im about to upload like a year and some change's worth of art so apologies for your FA submission boxes

it is my birthday so you all legally have to be nice to me today and call me a cool cat :)
it was in the fine fine print of the contract that you got when you followed me <3

been tryna get help getting a vtuber set up if anybody knows how to rig em and could help me out that'd be awesome, ive tried watching tons of videos but im big dumb
also would of course pay you if you'd like or i could draw you something as payment if you'd accept that lol

hello it be 4 am, sorry to just randomly drop a journal just kinda needed a platform rq to post how i overthink all my problems orz
also the reason i havent drawn in about 8-9 days now

been findin myself constantly overthinkin about what i draw lately, i started posting art and built an audience from just bein a straight dude who drew tits and like now my hearts not really in that anymore cause im the big gay, dont get me wrong i like drawin booba and butt sometimes but i really wanna draw more dudes and gay stuff
and its as easy as like bro just do it and yeah i should but i guess this is where the overthinkin comes from, art is my full time job at the moment i use my patreon/commissions to pay bills im just scared if i post more gay stuff my patrons will start to dip on me, not that id blame em if i came for one thing and got somethin i didnt like id leave too
been thinkin like well maybe ill tap into a new market and just get new patrons and stuff but thats just a shot in the dark, idk first world problems right
but if youre actually readin this and youre a straight dude how would you feel if i started to switch things up, would you be upset?

anywho im all emotional and i just really wanna say thanks to everyone who looks forward to my art, in terms of like my style and stuff i finally feel really good about my art and i for once see a big improvement in things, i just wanna get my heart back into it too cause then i know the quality will increase
also i like posting journals and talkin to yall maybe ill do that more :D

tldr; im a pussy that doesnt know how to do things thatd make them happy lol

i got a question how do yall think of things to commission people, like i always wanna comm stuff of like my sona or whatever but can never think of what to get, what the hecky

youre all legally obligated to say that im pogchamp today sorry but thems the rules

thanks for everyone watching me on here,
its nice to get away from a super huge followin like over on twitter and just interact with less people and really post more stuff that i like!
that and everyone on this site has been super nice and its always fun talkin with yall! should have more art soon !!
thanks again :)

sorry if its not your thing guess i thought id warn the people who dont care for it

its just self indulge art of my meowff that i like to make and share to a smaller audience

you have to be nice to me today thems the rules!!

Its not gonna be a paywall or anything this is just if you wanna help support ya boy a little.

I got some tier rewards like a Discord server and character Polls, etc. Thank you so much if you do decide to support me!

https://www.patreon.com/jinusenpai !!

that is all :>

more art comin soon!!