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So why have I been so silent? Again, it's a mix of personal issues, injury, and other sickness, ignoring social media for my good and focusing on my health, after all this cycle of injury, failing to grow as an artist (being left behind by everyone), is taking a toll on me, of course the growth of ai (bleh )not helping at all.

Don't know what to do, maybe I need to rest for real

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Sorry i take way to long on those, didnt had much to say besides laste year injury returned and once again october without drawing...screw my life, so yeah no drawtober of any type once again.
Edit: thanks for the kind words sorry i feel to depression again

Hello its me like 6 months later.... , sorry about that, i hoped healing enough to draw would be enough but i have both a art block and a mood swing that havent bounced back.
Fortunately i managed to work on paid art and keep up, as for personal art everything i wanted to do crumbled expect for a unexpected birthday gift (was on april but never get nothing so i tend to be quiet) an art course by no other from my mother never thought she would end up supporting me, the nagain she mostly saw the less dirty of my stuff heheh....hehe. I hope my skills at the very least improve to the level im hoping to have, perhaps will light my self esteem to do personal art again

Sorry for the late update, ups a a few days late heheh you see i have been busy with work/family, rushing to finish the pics i owed because of my injury, but im not at 100% still so worried what effect rushing pics can have on my wrist, and still got stuff to do.

I hope next year goes better than this one

Hello, its me , finally writing here, sorry for taking my time, this has been a terrible year, half of it with joint effusion and when i thought i healed, tendinitis says hi, so no choice but to rest , have paused patreon and work and dont know for how long, pretty depressing so i have been seeing a psychiatrist again.

Since january i noted a weird pressure on my wrist, that became tendinitis , halting all art to a grind killing drive and trowing me back to a more depressive state from early years, two months and still not fully recovered sadly can do nothing but take care of my arm, and bite the bullet, guess this is not my year

while i update all the sites i neglect this year im also updating some pics i made this years that were less than
acceptable for me, i will update this journal with those updated pics

update list
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41207926/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44225244/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40593327/ & https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40593730/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44239261/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41999746/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43829044/

New computer , adequate internet, i miss the country side thought, lot of stuff i havent uploaded guess gotta fix that

Hey hope the first year of the 2 week quarantine is going well as good as possible.

Beforehand i wanna mention that im about to hit 1k on twitter https://twitter.com/JmfDraws , a shame i feel nothing just like my dv is over 2k and i am meh.

Also stuck on farm house because of pandemic...yeah limited to 25gb for internet lol.

So wanted to get this out of my system, despite the art I've made, despite any good moments in general that were peppered throughout, I have never felt more unhappy and exhausted in my entire life.

So much time practicing so much effort, but all the ppl who could bested me without time now do it better in pandemic is not fair why my effort mean so little?, sigh and yet ppl gets angry when i mention natural skill and talent, im so tired.

Me trying to engage with others has been meh so many opportunities reach out, make connections, and also just be more social in general, but im such a nerd, even for internet standards that is a parody of high school where i was alone and friendless, at least i found some discord servers where i can chat bit sadly i had to leave others that became a cool kids club, so full of good artists that i feel excluded.

I know is not as bad as others but i have been dragging this freeing for years that i have reached the boiling point.

as you seen my slow art drive has grind to a halt and cant do much besides commissions and festivities sorry i need to find self help

600, a small amount for everyone else but s big success for me...i guess

Hello so last journal of the year so updates, im taking a short vacation will start taking commissions in January.
Even though this year has rough for everyone I hope we can continue going forward, specially since i took time to hone my skills
to a level i can fins acceptable , and im hoping next year is my year.
Speaking off i hoping to find ways to advertise myself, i don know how other ppl do it to make themselves so known so quickly


Stay safe everyone, and have a great time <3

▷▶▷▶PATREON◀◁◀◁

first, uploading drawtober pics, didnt fee like doing it during october ups, anyway i missed 5 days sadly.
On commission, back to them drawtober was a bit too much so i have a few to finish before

Hello, so first im in feeling again thankfully depression is under control, now im ready to start working, first reminder that commissions are open , details below.

If interested in a commission, contact me to discuss the transaction/idea and pin you on my commission list, the main Journal will used for the list. I'll be opening about 5-possibly 10 slots depending on the amount of work i receive.
This will keep stuff organized.

Also offering sketch /lineart Sequence or gif, something i wanna experiment with and i have already done, my work is thigh up by default but im open to full body pieces both in normal and sequence works.



Commission prices : https://www.furaffinity.net/view/36880876/

Remember to read the rules, thanks for your time

Been months since i updated, my apologies
going to be point, last months has been bad, little improvement little success on anything, honestly feel im going nowhere
everyone i know is a better than me, not to mention they are hobbyist, ahahahahaha can you believe i wanted to be an artist as a career?
god how dumb,im so tired and paying for my bad decisions
i dont know what im going to do , i will fail and the world will go on and on one will remember me.
At least my stupid soulless parents cant read what i write

So travel again, wanted to to more upload more sketches but family duty calls,will mantain communication with commission naturally, valentine pic will come , at months end since no net on a farm, well little net...

This time i will make a milestone pic i swear XDD

So today im leaving, to the familty farm where electricity is unstable and there i s barely Phone signal to help my parents for the rest of the month , but honestly im looking forward to it, i need the break, a lot happening lately
need to un-burn, my skill have greatly improved but need to think to re discover what my passions are, why i started this journey, will try to work on patreons rewards but wont be easy, so see you on a month i guess, take care.

and i felt burned out, oh guess im relapsing

2019 will finally began, i know has been 4 days already but been unable to post, as for why i didnt even posted since september, my priorites are on art as always to improve as fast as i can or else face the death of dreams.
this year was a Roller Coaster like many, don't think I ever felt truly and fully happy at all this year though. My art continued to improve, according to close persons, but my numbers say otherwise, no one with a patreon stuck on 3-4 can be a good artist, if only i had started 3 years sooner, but alas depression ruined my youth.

So we start with the same baggage as last year the constant anxiety and stress of wanting to live a comfortable life but being not good enough ,there have been multiple occasions throughout 2018 where I legitimately just wanted to give up been unable to find a solid job, been unable to make friends ,unable to improve enough at art.

Scared (and about to fall to desperation )about what 2019 will bring, but with my current situation maybe I'm in a better place to jump in and make a path in life that I want? (i doubt it), and that starts with further improving my art so I can one day make it a comfortable career, and perhaps stop being the same of the family

Starting in 2019 I will try to :

• Further practice and improve my art
• Be more social and reach out to more artists, even if they dont reply
• Work my self loathing, i would asy "let go" but is impossible to let go is a fallacy but you can overcome it,
Thank you so much for everything, even though we are a small group, you are everything i have

a small amount for most artists here, a important milestone for me lol, need to plan something , maybe a "my upload speed is crpa but i will try anyway stream" lol

Still going, though since im a unknown artist, it was ovbious i couldnt became known quick enough, my only regret is not have starting working serious earlier, is what depression does to you, i have improved a lot but i see my age and i cant help but feel is too late for me, also i got to find a job and i cant decide , i shouldnt have gotten a degree on something i didnt like but i was stupid, naive and fearful of my family,bur anyways the few that believe in my, i'm grateful and i will always be.

Hello Hello, i'm back! i say that because i couldn't art/upload on a constant basis (Yeah i know i'm a bit slow regardless)because my pc...well kinda died, but no biggy for a Technician like me, nothing a new power font and SATA cables replacement wont fix.
Art going well for a artist with my humble abilities, planning on study more ways to make my name more known out there, along with the daily practices, though those has been slow, sorry been on bit of an art block, lot of thinking on my head, some negative feelings resurfacing, like im too old?, did i started art too late?, fighting for every one of my patreons only to keep losing, his well a huge blow, feeling tired need to recover, dont know how yet, need help :C

Tomorrow 18 is my birthday, i turn 28 and I'm closer to being too old for doing what i want, how do i feel?, old?, just worse, but maybe is the same after all getting old is feeling worse until you die, well time for regrets i always do that but not as deep as i should, for example regret studying programming because art was always my calling but i was afraid of my family and well i finally grew mature enough to make my decisions...a little to late but whatever (no "but whatever" i still regret that more than anything)
So you may ask why i still regret it when i managed to get into art?, well not as i would like if i had being as mature as i am now let say, 3 years ago, i could be an artist already but today well I'm old i have to get a common job and maybe wait for 40 years then die, or just ignore mom whining and hope for the best with my lame art

Taking the chance to accompany my parents to the old farm where my late grandparents used to live, need to clear my head, i have a lot to think about, and decisions to make , will try to connect but for the next 2 weeks i'm basically cut out from internet ,besides my phone.
I know is ironic because my parents are close minded as you can get but there they act different, specially mom since that part of the country is their birthplace well they are nicer when outside the city, so see you on 2 weeks