Rest in Peace, Uncle Dan
Posted 2 weeks agoHey, everyone. I have some heartbreaking news. Last night on October 11, 2025... my uncle Dan passed away from brain cancer. Dan was in the hospital until he was transferred home. My dad stayed by his side until God called him home. Needless to say, my family and I are heartbroken. At least my uncle Dan went away in peace, freed from his pain. My uncle Dan is finally reunited with my aunt Patty in the kingdom of Heaven (Long and sad story short, my aunt Patty passed away from ovarian cancer a long time ago). Uncle Dan was the closest out of all my uncles. He's known me since I was really little and he had a very good heart. Rest in peace, Uncle Dan. You will be missed.
P.S. I made a Sonic fan characters based on him and if he could see it today, he would've been proud. Also, as I had my eye shut, I thought my dad with my Uncle Dan in his final moment. He stayed by his bedside, until Dan left his body in spirit. He thanked my dad before reuniting with my Aunt Patty and the rest of the family be descending into Heaven. And as they left, my dad said farewell to him.
I'm not joking. Heck, Dan said he saw some of our long-passed family members calling out to him, waiting for him to join them. It's heartbreaking, but at least my Uncle Dan is no longer in pain from the cancer and has finally reunited with my Aunt Patty. Rest in peace, Uncle Dan. We'll miss you.
P.S. I made a Sonic fan characters based on him and if he could see it today, he would've been proud. Also, as I had my eye shut, I thought my dad with my Uncle Dan in his final moment. He stayed by his bedside, until Dan left his body in spirit. He thanked my dad before reuniting with my Aunt Patty and the rest of the family be descending into Heaven. And as they left, my dad said farewell to him.
I'm not joking. Heck, Dan said he saw some of our long-passed family members calling out to him, waiting for him to join them. It's heartbreaking, but at least my Uncle Dan is no longer in pain from the cancer and has finally reunited with my Aunt Patty. Rest in peace, Uncle Dan. We'll miss you.
Halloween Request 2025: Pokémon Zombie Nation
Posted 4 weeks agoI have a very special request for all of you this Halloween. Would you like to draw my three-part story series Pokémon Zombie Nation in the form of art and/or comics? Here's what the stories look like.
https://www.deviantart.com/joeycool.....r-1-1072005349
https://www.deviantart.com/joeycool.....r-2-1075403980
https://www.deviantart.com/joeycool.....r-3-1097053711
If it'll make things easier for you, I have a list of my top six scenes from each story.
Top 6 scenes from Pokémon Zombie Nation (Chapter 1)
1. Ash and Pikachu arriving at the train station and come face-to-face with a zombified Ritchie and Sparky.
2. Ash's friends having their first encounter with zombies.
3. Ash's friends gathering supplies when they're ambushed by zombies, resulting in them escaping.
4. Ash's friends fighting zombies in an old house.
5. Ash and Pikachu encountering a zombified Damien.
6. Ash and Pikachu trapped in a Pokémon Center, surrounded by zombies.
Top 6 scenes from Pokémon Zombie Nation (Chapter 2)
1. Team Rocket hiding in an abandoned Mart.
2. Liko, Roy and Dot waking up in the fighting dojo and meeting Professor Oak and Delia Ketchum.
3. Captain Pikachu fighting zombies.
4. Ash's friends escaping the old house with the combo vehicles.
5. Team Rocket fighting and escaping the Silph Co. Office Building.
6. Ash reuniting with his friends.
Top 6 scenes from Pokémon Zombie Nation (Chapter 3)
1. Ash and all of his friends receiving their combo weapons.
2. Romantic scene involving Ash and Serena.
3. Ash, his friends and the Rising Volt Tacklers fighting the zombies.
4. Ash and Pikachu coming face-to-face with zombified Pokémon who look remarkably like all of Ash's Pokémon.
5. Meowth and Wobbuffet camping outside of the Team Rocket HQ with Jessie and James' Pokémon and a now zombified Jessie and James.
6. All of Ash's Pokémon returning to Pallet Town from a vacation and shocked to see Pallet Town in ruins from the zombie apocalypse.
If you want to draw some covers based on them, I got three great ideas for them.
1. Ash holding a flashlight with Pikachu on his shoulder and his friends are close by while above them, there's zombies of both Pokémon and humans who resemble familiar faces from their travels.
2. Jessie, James and Meowth standing on a rooftop, Delia and Professor Oak holding their weapons tightly as they stood by Liko, Roy and Dot with their own weapons, and Captain Pikachu getting ready to fight as the crew of the Brave Olivine stood with him.
3. Ash and his friends along with the crew of the Brave Olivine standing by their vehicles and having their weapons while above them are zombie Pokémon who ironically look like all of Ash's Pokémon.
If you're interested in trying your hands at drawing scenes based on these stories, you have my permission to do so, but not as a commission, unless it's free (I don't have any way to pay you). I've been visualizing drawing of these and even though I'm not much of an artist, I think it would be cool to see them become a reality. Again, I'm allowing all of you to draw pics or comics based on these. You have my permission to do so. But if you're really not interested, I understand if you don't want to. Again, you're welcome to try.
Bonus: If you want, you can do some cover art for the stories. But I swear, if you're an AI bot of a scammer trying to get me to 'auction art for money', I promise you, I will not hesitate to block you.
P.S. If you need some inspiration for the combo weapons and combo vehicles, I'll leave a few links in the journal. You know, help give you some ideas on what they look like.
(Combo Vehicles)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Vehicles_(Dead_Rising_3)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Vehicles_(Dead_Rising_4)
(Combo Weapons)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Weapons_(Dead_Rising_2)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Weapons_(Dead_Rising_3)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Weapons_(Dead_Rising_4)
Hope they help. And in case you were wondering, this isn't a contest. Besides... I don't do those. Not anymore. Let's just say I had too many bad memories because of it. And again, I'm not asking you to do it as a commission because I don't do anything involving money. Seriously, I don't have Patreon, Ko-fi, PayPal or whatever else. I'm asking you to do them for free on Halloween. No money, just free. So, you don't have to pay me or anything. If you're not interested in doing this story series as a comic for FREE, that is your decision. I'm fine with it.
https://www.deviantart.com/joeycool.....r-1-1072005349
https://www.deviantart.com/joeycool.....r-2-1075403980
https://www.deviantart.com/joeycool.....r-3-1097053711
If it'll make things easier for you, I have a list of my top six scenes from each story.
Top 6 scenes from Pokémon Zombie Nation (Chapter 1)
1. Ash and Pikachu arriving at the train station and come face-to-face with a zombified Ritchie and Sparky.
2. Ash's friends having their first encounter with zombies.
3. Ash's friends gathering supplies when they're ambushed by zombies, resulting in them escaping.
4. Ash's friends fighting zombies in an old house.
5. Ash and Pikachu encountering a zombified Damien.
6. Ash and Pikachu trapped in a Pokémon Center, surrounded by zombies.
Top 6 scenes from Pokémon Zombie Nation (Chapter 2)
1. Team Rocket hiding in an abandoned Mart.
2. Liko, Roy and Dot waking up in the fighting dojo and meeting Professor Oak and Delia Ketchum.
3. Captain Pikachu fighting zombies.
4. Ash's friends escaping the old house with the combo vehicles.
5. Team Rocket fighting and escaping the Silph Co. Office Building.
6. Ash reuniting with his friends.
Top 6 scenes from Pokémon Zombie Nation (Chapter 3)
1. Ash and all of his friends receiving their combo weapons.
2. Romantic scene involving Ash and Serena.
3. Ash, his friends and the Rising Volt Tacklers fighting the zombies.
4. Ash and Pikachu coming face-to-face with zombified Pokémon who look remarkably like all of Ash's Pokémon.
5. Meowth and Wobbuffet camping outside of the Team Rocket HQ with Jessie and James' Pokémon and a now zombified Jessie and James.
6. All of Ash's Pokémon returning to Pallet Town from a vacation and shocked to see Pallet Town in ruins from the zombie apocalypse.
If you want to draw some covers based on them, I got three great ideas for them.
1. Ash holding a flashlight with Pikachu on his shoulder and his friends are close by while above them, there's zombies of both Pokémon and humans who resemble familiar faces from their travels.
2. Jessie, James and Meowth standing on a rooftop, Delia and Professor Oak holding their weapons tightly as they stood by Liko, Roy and Dot with their own weapons, and Captain Pikachu getting ready to fight as the crew of the Brave Olivine stood with him.
3. Ash and his friends along with the crew of the Brave Olivine standing by their vehicles and having their weapons while above them are zombie Pokémon who ironically look like all of Ash's Pokémon.
If you're interested in trying your hands at drawing scenes based on these stories, you have my permission to do so, but not as a commission, unless it's free (I don't have any way to pay you). I've been visualizing drawing of these and even though I'm not much of an artist, I think it would be cool to see them become a reality. Again, I'm allowing all of you to draw pics or comics based on these. You have my permission to do so. But if you're really not interested, I understand if you don't want to. Again, you're welcome to try.
Bonus: If you want, you can do some cover art for the stories. But I swear, if you're an AI bot of a scammer trying to get me to 'auction art for money', I promise you, I will not hesitate to block you.
P.S. If you need some inspiration for the combo weapons and combo vehicles, I'll leave a few links in the journal. You know, help give you some ideas on what they look like.
(Combo Vehicles)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Vehicles_(Dead_Rising_3)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Vehicles_(Dead_Rising_4)
(Combo Weapons)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Weapons_(Dead_Rising_2)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Weapons_(Dead_Rising_3)
https://deadrising.fandom.com/wiki/Combo_Weapons_(Dead_Rising_4)
Hope they help. And in case you were wondering, this isn't a contest. Besides... I don't do those. Not anymore. Let's just say I had too many bad memories because of it. And again, I'm not asking you to do it as a commission because I don't do anything involving money. Seriously, I don't have Patreon, Ko-fi, PayPal or whatever else. I'm asking you to do them for free on Halloween. No money, just free. So, you don't have to pay me or anything. If you're not interested in doing this story series as a comic for FREE, that is your decision. I'm fine with it.
Rest in peace, Robert Redford
Posted a month agoSad to say this, but Robert Redford passed away at age 89. Rest in peace.
Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys
Posted 2 months agoWell, I have officially watched every single episode of Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys. Got to say, it was definitely worth watching after all these years. And what I mean by that is I was in elementary school when I first saw it (More or less). The show was created by Gordon Bressack. You probably know him from taking part in countless other animations, such as Animaniacs, Tiny Toon Adventures and Pinky and the Brain, just to name a few examples. Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys also had a ton of great voice actors in it, like Jerry Doyle, Karen Maruyama, Maurice LaMarche, Dom Irrera, Michael Dorn, Jeff Bennett, Malcolm McDowell, Frank Welker, and who can forget James Avery, and David Carradine. Between August 16, 1996, and June 21, 1997, the show aired for one season, a total of 26 episodes. If you like monkeys and sci-fi adventures, let alone animated ones, this is definitely a cartoon series worth watching, especially if you were a kid growing up in the 90's.
Well, it took 28 years, but I finally watched every single episode of Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys. Still a cool animated series after all these years.
P.S. And sad to say... Gordon Bressack passed away in 2019. Rest in peace.
Well, it took 28 years, but I finally watched every single episode of Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys. Still a cool animated series after all these years.
P.S. And sad to say... Gordon Bressack passed away in 2019. Rest in peace.
Rest in Peace, Hulk Hogan
Posted 3 months agoSad news today. My dad told me this morning that Hulk Hogan, one of the greatest professional wrestlers ever had just passed away due to a heart attack at age 71.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/ot.....f992e9aa75c8c4&ei=7
https://youtu.be/rxeEQ9ekyVY
And this was two days after Ozzy Osburne passed away, too. I'm not kidding.
(Link to my last journal in case you missed it)
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11182870/
First Ozzy Osbourne, now Hulk Hogan. He also did some great movies, too. Rest in peace, brother. Rest in peace.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/ot.....f992e9aa75c8c4
https://youtu.be/rxeEQ9ekyVY
And this was two days after Ozzy Osburne passed away, too. I'm not kidding.
(Link to my last journal in case you missed it)
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11182870/
First Ozzy Osbourne, now Hulk Hogan. He also did some great movies, too. Rest in peace, brother. Rest in peace.
Rest in Peace, Ozzy Osbourne
Posted 3 months agoI have some sad news to tell you all today. I just heard that Ozzy Osbourne from Black Sabbath had recently passed away at age 76. Rest in peace to that legend.
https://www.bbc.com/news/live/cn0qq.....h-notification
https://www.bbc.com/news/live/cn0qq.....h-notification
A Goofy Movie 30th Anniversary
Posted 6 months agoDo you remember "A Goofy Movie"? Well, I heard from a friend that it's the 30th anniversary of the film.
https://youtu.be/_IY7_iCuINo
Got to say, I can’t believe it's been thirty years since the film came out. So many cool memories.
https://youtu.be/_IY7_iCuINo
Got to say, I can’t believe it's been thirty years since the film came out. So many cool memories.
Guess who's coming back
Posted 8 months agoI got good news and bad news for you
Posted 8 months agoThe good news is that it's Pokémon Day. I was surprised to hear about this. And hey, I got some news from Pokémon that might get you all excited. Here's a link if you're interested.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7F.....7nw&t=921s
The bad news is... well, do you know Gene Hackman? Well, sad to say this, but he passed away with his wife and dog yesterday. He was 95 years old. Rest in peace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7F.....7nw&t=921s
The bad news is... well, do you know Gene Hackman? Well, sad to say this, but he passed away with his wife and dog yesterday. He was 95 years old. Rest in peace.
I am who I am and I'm proud of it
Posted 9 months agoYou know, since my last journal, I've been thinking about some of the issues I've been going through. I realized that I don't need to hide behind some mask just to be accepted by other people. The truth is, I'm fine just the way I am. I write stories and create character designs for fun because I enjoy making them. There are some stories I do involving underwear, but those are for humor and nothing else. I even offer some of you to draw some of my character designs because I sometimes envisioned them becoming a reality. If no one's interested, that's fine. I understand and I'm not even mad about it. I don't blame you if your answer's no. I just thought it would be nice to see drawings and artwork, but I understand if you really don't want to. Also, I have ADHD, although if I'm being honest, I'm still trying to figure how to use it as a superpower. Never really understood how if I'm being honest about it and I'm not willing to ignore it for the rest of my life. In fact, I'm not willing to lie to myself anymore just to get other people to like me. I'm a Sonic, Pokémon and Star Wars fan with autism and ADHD who likes writing stories and characters designs for fun and I'm not willing to constantly lie to myself or hide behind some forsaken mask that I couldn't even care less about anyway just to get accepted. So, if none of you want to accept me for who I am, forget you! Because I'm done listening to your hurtful lies! I'm proud of who I am and nothing's going to change that, because I don't care what anyone says anymore! I really don't care for bullies! And if any of you try to bully or be oversensitive punks to me or in my comments, walk away and leave me be! For all I care, go outside and touch grass as some people would say, because at least some good people on here would agree with me when I say, the Internet isn't everything. And like I said before, I'm not willing to pretend to me something that I'm not or listen to any more hurtful comments! So again, if any of you want to be bullies, move on. Because as Dwanye Johnson would say... I don't like bullies!
(Note: This next part comes from the heart)
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but it's the truth. I'm done lying to myself. I'd rather let all of you accept me for who I am than pretend to be something that I'm not any day. I don't blame you if you don't want to be friends with me. I respect your opinion, and I'm not even upset about it. Again, I'm fine just the way I am, and I'd rather accept that than live a lie. So, if you don't want to accept me for who I am, move on. Because I'm done.
(Note: This next part comes from the heart)
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but it's the truth. I'm done lying to myself. I'd rather let all of you accept me for who I am than pretend to be something that I'm not any day. I don't blame you if you don't want to be friends with me. I respect your opinion, and I'm not even upset about it. Again, I'm fine just the way I am, and I'd rather accept that than live a lie. So, if you don't want to accept me for who I am, move on. Because I'm done.
Pray for Los Angeles
Posted 9 months agoI'm sure a lot of people of aware, but Los Angeles... has been hit by a lot of fires. I don't really have a lot to say about it, but my family and I were unhappy by this news. All I can say is this... please pray for the people of Los Angeles. May Heaven help a lot of people there, especially a lot of families.
*Heavy sigh*
L.A. was my childhood home (Until the 2010s, that is).
P.S. Still taking some time off from story writing. I'm thinking about starting over, maybe correct any mistakes I made. I'm actually making a journal on why, but I'm not going to say when it'll happen. Hopefully when things get better, well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens in the future.
*Heavy sigh*
L.A. was my childhood home (Until the 2010s, that is).
P.S. Still taking some time off from story writing. I'm thinking about starting over, maybe correct any mistakes I made. I'm actually making a journal on why, but I'm not going to say when it'll happen. Hopefully when things get better, well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens in the future.
Thinking about taking a break or going Another Way
Posted 10 months agoMy first Journal of 2025
Warning: Possible rant. This is probably the longest journal I made. You don't have to respond if you don't want to. I'm used to it, anyway.
I wasn't sure about writing this journal. I've been... lost for a while and I didn't know what to write. I was scared of saying the wrong thing and I felt... unhappy. I've been unable to talk to anyone about how I felt because I didn't know how anyone would react, and I just didn't have a courage to do so. I'm not expecting anything to happen after writing this, but here goes.
First of all, Happy New Year! 2024 had its positive moments, but there were some unhappy moments as well and I'm you all know why. Heck, I haven't had this much heartbreak in who knows how long. One upsetting moment I recall was back in high school when my aunt Patty passed away from breast cancer and my uncle Dan has been unhappy about it for a while now. Let's just say it's a very heartbreaking story (That, plus I lost another uncle named Harold due to a car accident with a 20-year-old kid who fell asleep while driving and I really don't feel like talking about that).
Anyway, since my uncle Dan started recovering from surgery, he's doing better in case anyone asks, I guess I had a lot to think about my life and all the things I've been through growing up. Since high school, I've been writing stories involving Sonic characters and sometimes Pokémon, I even tried my hands on making fan characters even though I can't draw very well. I also had tons of fun ideas that I just stopped caring about because they don't make much sense or aren't worth talking about. I never thought I'd say this, but maybe I should just... retire. I feel like my days of story writing are coming to an end. And I didn't want to believe it to be true until now. So, here's something I never thought I would say much less write in a journal until now.
I'm done. I'm sorry, but I can't deal with any more... negativity online. I've been writing stories and posting ideas since the 2010s and for whatever reason? So, I could seek attention because of all of the unhappiness I've been through since my childhood? Well, no more. All I cared about was sharing my ideas and trying to make other people happy. That's all I thought about. But now... I feel like I'm trapped in a darkness, struggling to find a light at the end of the tunnel called life. And well, I guess I had a lot to think about my own life.
I've been writing Sonic stories and sometimes, Pokémon since high school and even tried making my own fan characters based on me and my family. Now, I'm starting to question if it's really worth anything anymore. I mean, come on, it's not like I make money off of them, never had and never will, mind you. I just did them for fun. Also, I'm glad I chose not to do commissions, especially after what my dad told me about PayPal, saying some people could get scammed by it and I can't help but be glad I didn't set up an account for it. Seriously, like AI bots on this site trying to scam artists into "auctioning art for money" wasn't annoying enough and I'm not surprised if some of you feel the same way. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. My point is, I just stopped caring. All I care about anymore is making people happy and trying to find some meaning in my life. Like trying to finish J.C. the Hybrid's Origin wasn't enough and I don't feel like talking about it because I've been wondering if really matters anymore. I had tons of great ideas for a final chapter, but now... does it really matter anymore? And you want to hear something surprising? I thought about sending this to SEGA. I mean, it would be pretty cool to collaborate with them, but honestly... I don't see that happening anytime soon. I even thought about collaborating with Nintendo on some Pokémon related ideas, but again, I don't see that happening anytime soon. I have Maybe I should... retire.
I think I might be burnt out, to be honest. I was scared to admit, to tell you the truth. I mean, I had too many problems in reality which I always mentioned. Depression, issues at home and don't even get me started on mental problems with my family! It's become so overwhelming that I can barely even make time for myself anymore. And it's so burdensome, I can barely even breathe. So, I hate to say this, but I feel like the life I've been struggling constantly for is almost at an end. I'm even thinking about doing a rewrite of J.C. the Hybrid's Origin, if I'm being honest here! I mean, I've been working on it since 2018. I was afraid if I left it unfinished, there would be a lot of unanswered questions it. Heck, I even dreamed about seeing it as a comic, but finding someone who would be interested in another story (And don't get me started on scammers).
I have a high-functioning form of autism. I didn't even know I had it until I was in high school. I also found out that I have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD for short. I even have a hard time socializing, even though I want to. I don't really talk about it because I thought nobody would even care. I'm still trying to figure the autism spectrum more (Long story about it). How many of you share the same disabilities that I've gone through since the day I was born?!
Look, I'm sorry if I sound upset about it. I just don't know who else to talk to and I was too afraid to speak my mind, okay? It's sad enough that I feel like an outcast. I've even thought about resigning some stories because I lost interest in most of them, plus redoing a few character designs I made in the past. I'm just too overwhelmed in life and I'm trying to find a way to help get rid of all the burdens weighing me down. I even tried asking for help, but (Excuse the caps, but I have to be honest here) WHO EVEN CARES ANYMORE?!
I feel empty. I think I'm just empty and emotionally shut down. And I really don't know how exactly I just handle this. Seriously, what person with a high-functioning form of autism would? Let alone one with ADHD. Maybe I should just... take some time off from being online. Besides... I ran out of ideas and the last thought I had was an idea for a remake/rewrite of a post-apocalyptic Pokémon series I was thinking about redoing for months now. I already thought about the title, plus a few ideas for characters, but now... does it really matter? Does anything really matter anymore? And need I mention why I don't care for commissions?
And you know what really annoys me? Scammers. Since last year, I've been getting messages, mostly in Chat (Which I couldn't even care less about, anyway) saying there are 'artists' who are actually AI Bots trying to get people to "auction art for money". In other words, they're scams. And I'm assuming I'm not the only one on this site who is dealing with this issue for who knows how long.
Speaking of artificial intelligence, I've seen some people, even some of the ones that I befriended having AI Art. If some of you like artwork made via AI, I'm not upset about it. I don't care to do it myself, to be honest. Yeah, I know some if not most of the stories I write on here are 'complicated', (plus characters that are written down instead of drawn), but at least they were all made with my own flesh and blood hands and not artificial intelligence. So, that's got to count for something, right?
I could care less if this is repetitive or not, I'm autistic. I have a hard time socializing and I'm only good at writing stories and explaining characters by writing them down in literature. My question is, does it really matter to anyone anymore? Does anyone even care? Because I'm not like everyone else.
I'm sorry, if that sounded harsh, but the truth is... I'm different than everyone. I have autism and that's okay. You don't want to be friends with me? I'm not even mad. I just wanted to fit in. But if you're not interested in being friends with someone who has a high-functioning form of autism and a liking for Sonic, Star Wars, Pokémon or pretty much anything involving 90's nostalgia, I won't force you to like me or anything, because I'm done trying.
Got to say, out of all the journals I wrote, I really poured my heart out into this one. I was afraid of sounding like some 'useless weak burden', but it feels good letting all of this out. Another burden of a weight lifted off of my shoulders, I guess. I'm sorry if this journal is really long, I just had a lot of problems to go through in this hard game called life and I would rather do the unthinkable. I quit.
I just stopped beating this hard game of life on my own. I'm trying to catch up with the Sonic franchise, my dad left his job, my stepmother has severe PTSD, and need I mention my biological mother leaving me and my dad when I was two? I can't even make time for games on Steam or rewriting my ideas for Sonic fan characters. I even thought about sending my fan characters to Sega, Sonic Team and/or IDW Publishing. Because I really thought that it would be pretty cool to collaborate with them, let alone seeing my characters in the IDW Sonic comics, but I'm not sure if I'll ever see that happening anytime soon. Again, I have a lot to think about. So, I'm done until further notice. So, for now... this is goodbye.
P.S. The last thing I did for 2024 was some ideas for my Sonic OCs and the only thought I had left was an idea for a post-apocalyptic Pokémon AU. Already got a good title for it. It's called Pokémon: Shadow War. I even had an idea of Ash Ketchum disappearing onto an island with all of his Pokémon. Now, I'm not so sure about it happening. I also thought about a Star Wars version of Pokémon Horizons, but I'm not really sure if or when I'll get around to working on it. Not that many ideas for it, if I'm being honest right now. All I can say now is I just hope 2025 will be better than 2024.
And don't worry, I'm not deactivating this account. I'll return when things get better. I hope.
Warning: Possible rant. This is probably the longest journal I made. You don't have to respond if you don't want to. I'm used to it, anyway.
I wasn't sure about writing this journal. I've been... lost for a while and I didn't know what to write. I was scared of saying the wrong thing and I felt... unhappy. I've been unable to talk to anyone about how I felt because I didn't know how anyone would react, and I just didn't have a courage to do so. I'm not expecting anything to happen after writing this, but here goes.
First of all, Happy New Year! 2024 had its positive moments, but there were some unhappy moments as well and I'm you all know why. Heck, I haven't had this much heartbreak in who knows how long. One upsetting moment I recall was back in high school when my aunt Patty passed away from breast cancer and my uncle Dan has been unhappy about it for a while now. Let's just say it's a very heartbreaking story (That, plus I lost another uncle named Harold due to a car accident with a 20-year-old kid who fell asleep while driving and I really don't feel like talking about that).
Anyway, since my uncle Dan started recovering from surgery, he's doing better in case anyone asks, I guess I had a lot to think about my life and all the things I've been through growing up. Since high school, I've been writing stories involving Sonic characters and sometimes Pokémon, I even tried my hands on making fan characters even though I can't draw very well. I also had tons of fun ideas that I just stopped caring about because they don't make much sense or aren't worth talking about. I never thought I'd say this, but maybe I should just... retire. I feel like my days of story writing are coming to an end. And I didn't want to believe it to be true until now. So, here's something I never thought I would say much less write in a journal until now.
I'm done. I'm sorry, but I can't deal with any more... negativity online. I've been writing stories and posting ideas since the 2010s and for whatever reason? So, I could seek attention because of all of the unhappiness I've been through since my childhood? Well, no more. All I cared about was sharing my ideas and trying to make other people happy. That's all I thought about. But now... I feel like I'm trapped in a darkness, struggling to find a light at the end of the tunnel called life. And well, I guess I had a lot to think about my own life.
I've been writing Sonic stories and sometimes, Pokémon since high school and even tried making my own fan characters based on me and my family. Now, I'm starting to question if it's really worth anything anymore. I mean, come on, it's not like I make money off of them, never had and never will, mind you. I just did them for fun. Also, I'm glad I chose not to do commissions, especially after what my dad told me about PayPal, saying some people could get scammed by it and I can't help but be glad I didn't set up an account for it. Seriously, like AI bots on this site trying to scam artists into "auctioning art for money" wasn't annoying enough and I'm not surprised if some of you feel the same way. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. My point is, I just stopped caring. All I care about anymore is making people happy and trying to find some meaning in my life. Like trying to finish J.C. the Hybrid's Origin wasn't enough and I don't feel like talking about it because I've been wondering if really matters anymore. I had tons of great ideas for a final chapter, but now... does it really matter anymore? And you want to hear something surprising? I thought about sending this to SEGA. I mean, it would be pretty cool to collaborate with them, but honestly... I don't see that happening anytime soon. I even thought about collaborating with Nintendo on some Pokémon related ideas, but again, I don't see that happening anytime soon. I have Maybe I should... retire.
I think I might be burnt out, to be honest. I was scared to admit, to tell you the truth. I mean, I had too many problems in reality which I always mentioned. Depression, issues at home and don't even get me started on mental problems with my family! It's become so overwhelming that I can barely even make time for myself anymore. And it's so burdensome, I can barely even breathe. So, I hate to say this, but I feel like the life I've been struggling constantly for is almost at an end. I'm even thinking about doing a rewrite of J.C. the Hybrid's Origin, if I'm being honest here! I mean, I've been working on it since 2018. I was afraid if I left it unfinished, there would be a lot of unanswered questions it. Heck, I even dreamed about seeing it as a comic, but finding someone who would be interested in another story (And don't get me started on scammers).
I have a high-functioning form of autism. I didn't even know I had it until I was in high school. I also found out that I have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD for short. I even have a hard time socializing, even though I want to. I don't really talk about it because I thought nobody would even care. I'm still trying to figure the autism spectrum more (Long story about it). How many of you share the same disabilities that I've gone through since the day I was born?!
Look, I'm sorry if I sound upset about it. I just don't know who else to talk to and I was too afraid to speak my mind, okay? It's sad enough that I feel like an outcast. I've even thought about resigning some stories because I lost interest in most of them, plus redoing a few character designs I made in the past. I'm just too overwhelmed in life and I'm trying to find a way to help get rid of all the burdens weighing me down. I even tried asking for help, but (Excuse the caps, but I have to be honest here) WHO EVEN CARES ANYMORE?!
I feel empty. I think I'm just empty and emotionally shut down. And I really don't know how exactly I just handle this. Seriously, what person with a high-functioning form of autism would? Let alone one with ADHD. Maybe I should just... take some time off from being online. Besides... I ran out of ideas and the last thought I had was an idea for a remake/rewrite of a post-apocalyptic Pokémon series I was thinking about redoing for months now. I already thought about the title, plus a few ideas for characters, but now... does it really matter? Does anything really matter anymore? And need I mention why I don't care for commissions?
And you know what really annoys me? Scammers. Since last year, I've been getting messages, mostly in Chat (Which I couldn't even care less about, anyway) saying there are 'artists' who are actually AI Bots trying to get people to "auction art for money". In other words, they're scams. And I'm assuming I'm not the only one on this site who is dealing with this issue for who knows how long.
Speaking of artificial intelligence, I've seen some people, even some of the ones that I befriended having AI Art. If some of you like artwork made via AI, I'm not upset about it. I don't care to do it myself, to be honest. Yeah, I know some if not most of the stories I write on here are 'complicated', (plus characters that are written down instead of drawn), but at least they were all made with my own flesh and blood hands and not artificial intelligence. So, that's got to count for something, right?
I could care less if this is repetitive or not, I'm autistic. I have a hard time socializing and I'm only good at writing stories and explaining characters by writing them down in literature. My question is, does it really matter to anyone anymore? Does anyone even care? Because I'm not like everyone else.
I'm sorry, if that sounded harsh, but the truth is... I'm different than everyone. I have autism and that's okay. You don't want to be friends with me? I'm not even mad. I just wanted to fit in. But if you're not interested in being friends with someone who has a high-functioning form of autism and a liking for Sonic, Star Wars, Pokémon or pretty much anything involving 90's nostalgia, I won't force you to like me or anything, because I'm done trying.
Got to say, out of all the journals I wrote, I really poured my heart out into this one. I was afraid of sounding like some 'useless weak burden', but it feels good letting all of this out. Another burden of a weight lifted off of my shoulders, I guess. I'm sorry if this journal is really long, I just had a lot of problems to go through in this hard game called life and I would rather do the unthinkable. I quit.
I just stopped beating this hard game of life on my own. I'm trying to catch up with the Sonic franchise, my dad left his job, my stepmother has severe PTSD, and need I mention my biological mother leaving me and my dad when I was two? I can't even make time for games on Steam or rewriting my ideas for Sonic fan characters. I even thought about sending my fan characters to Sega, Sonic Team and/or IDW Publishing. Because I really thought that it would be pretty cool to collaborate with them, let alone seeing my characters in the IDW Sonic comics, but I'm not sure if I'll ever see that happening anytime soon. Again, I have a lot to think about. So, I'm done until further notice. So, for now... this is goodbye.
P.S. The last thing I did for 2024 was some ideas for my Sonic OCs and the only thought I had left was an idea for a post-apocalyptic Pokémon AU. Already got a good title for it. It's called Pokémon: Shadow War. I even had an idea of Ash Ketchum disappearing onto an island with all of his Pokémon. Now, I'm not so sure about it happening. I also thought about a Star Wars version of Pokémon Horizons, but I'm not really sure if or when I'll get around to working on it. Not that many ideas for it, if I'm being honest right now. All I can say now is I just hope 2025 will be better than 2024.
And don't worry, I'm not deactivating this account. I'll return when things get better. I hope.
Happy New Year!
Posted 10 months agoHappy New Year, everyone! I just hope 2025 will be better than 2024.
I saw Sonic 3
Posted 10 months agoWell, my dad and I saw the third Sonic the Hedgehog movie. All I can is the film was pure awesome, and I loved it.
Rest in Peace, BlackDevilX
Posted 10 months agoDo you remember the flash series Final Fantasy Sonic X? If you're familiar with that name, then I got some heartbreaking news. Especially to the flash community. Sad to say, BlackDevilX, the creator of Final Fantasy Sonic X passed away recently. I never knew the guy that much if I'm being honest, but I do recall playing the flash series during my childhood. I think I was in my 10s when I first discovered it. But now, after hearing about them passing away, now I'm just unhappy. Heck, the series is part of the reason why I'm a fan of flash animations, let alone ones involving Sonic, Mega Man, Final Fantasy, even Mario, just to name a few examples. Anyway, BlackDevilX will be missed. Rest in peace to that legend.
News about my Birthday
Posted 10 months agoFirst of all, thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. It really makes me feel better to know there are people out there who care about me. So, thank you. I appreciate it and it means a lot to me. Anyway, I got some news about what happened on my birthday that I felt like sharing with all of you. First, my dad made some cinnamon rolls for breakfast and an egg and ham sandwich. After that, we went out for pizza and saw the movie "Red One". You should definitely watch that movie. It's a Christmas movie full of action and comedy and full of good actors as well. Here's a link to the trailer if you're curious (It was either this or Y2K https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4f9gCTLhYs)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8XH3W0cMss
And when we got home, we had a mint chocolate ice cream cake for my birthday. It was great. That is, until my family had some issues. Long story short, my stepmother got into a big fight with my dad and I'm hoping they'll get better. I wasn't going to let any unhappiness ruin my birthday. Plus, my dad is planning on taking me to Reno for a cool arcade there and had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (Good food there). My dad's still planning on some birthday fun for me. He's trying to make it special for me. And P.S. I'm now 33 years old, but if you saw me in person, I look ten years younger. I kid you not.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8XH3W0cMss
And when we got home, we had a mint chocolate ice cream cake for my birthday. It was great. That is, until my family had some issues. Long story short, my stepmother got into a big fight with my dad and I'm hoping they'll get better. I wasn't going to let any unhappiness ruin my birthday. Plus, my dad is planning on taking me to Reno for a cool arcade there and had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (Good food there). My dad's still planning on some birthday fun for me. He's trying to make it special for me. And P.S. I'm now 33 years old, but if you saw me in person, I look ten years younger. I kid you not.
It's my Birthday
Posted 10 months agoHappy Birthday to me, I guess.
B-Day Tomorrow
Posted 10 months agoNot much to say, really. My birthday is tomorrow, and I don't know how to celebrate it. My family's been going through a few issues since the beginning of the month, and I wasn't sure how to tell anyone without sounding heartbroken. I guess I'll wait and see what happens when tomorrow comes.
P.S. Still time to do a special gift if you want to do something for my birthday. But if you just want to wish me a happy birthday, that's okay, too.
P.S. Still time to do a special gift if you want to do something for my birthday. But if you just want to wish me a happy birthday, that's okay, too.
B-day Update
Posted 11 months agoMy birthday is in two weeks from now. I wasn't really sure if anyone even cared about it, but a little kindness would really be appreciated. P.S. There's still time to do a special gift for my birthday.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10999168
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10999168
Thoughts about my Birthday
Posted 11 months agoMy birthday is coming up in one month from now, although I don't really know how to react to it. I've been so emotionally drained, I can't even think about the right words to say. I was afraid to even talk about it on this journal, because I thought no one would even care. I did have an idea (or two) for a birthday request, but... I feel like it doesn't really matter, because I probably won't see it happening, anyway. Still, I'll tell you anyway, just to get it off my chest.
It was going to be a Pokémon themed idea involving Ash Ketchum secretly being a talented singer. However, he never really told anyone about it, not even his Pokémon. Then, one day, Pikachu and all of Ash's Pokémon heard singing from the trees and when they went to investigate it, they were surprised to see that the singing came from none other than their own trainer. Eventually, Ash and his Pokémon decided to set up a concert and all of Ash's friends were invited to see it. I think that would really make a great story. Inspired by this: https://youtu.be/8xX7SgzY5Co
Another birthday request I envisioned was my Sonic OCs J.C. the Hybrid the Suki the Wolf having elemental power. J.C. the Hybrid would have divine light manipulation and electricity while Suki the Wolf would have ice power and probably fire (either that, or magma) abilities, plus I thought about giving her blue flames but wasn't sure. I got the inspiration from Star Wars and some of the crystals from the Star Wars universe. Well, that, plus the anime series Sword Art Online, Blue Exorcist (which recently returned on Toonami) and One Piece, but mostly the Bible.
Here's a bonus idea I wish to see, artwork of the characters from Pokémon as some of the alien species from the Star Wars universe. I actually made a little list for Ash and his friends as well as the characters from Pokémon Horizons, but that depends if anyone's interested in my offer. Again, I wasn't sure if anyone would really care, but it would be nice to know. A little kindness would really be appreciated.
It was going to be a Pokémon themed idea involving Ash Ketchum secretly being a talented singer. However, he never really told anyone about it, not even his Pokémon. Then, one day, Pikachu and all of Ash's Pokémon heard singing from the trees and when they went to investigate it, they were surprised to see that the singing came from none other than their own trainer. Eventually, Ash and his Pokémon decided to set up a concert and all of Ash's friends were invited to see it. I think that would really make a great story. Inspired by this: https://youtu.be/8xX7SgzY5Co
Another birthday request I envisioned was my Sonic OCs J.C. the Hybrid the Suki the Wolf having elemental power. J.C. the Hybrid would have divine light manipulation and electricity while Suki the Wolf would have ice power and probably fire (either that, or magma) abilities, plus I thought about giving her blue flames but wasn't sure. I got the inspiration from Star Wars and some of the crystals from the Star Wars universe. Well, that, plus the anime series Sword Art Online, Blue Exorcist (which recently returned on Toonami) and One Piece, but mostly the Bible.
Here's a bonus idea I wish to see, artwork of the characters from Pokémon as some of the alien species from the Star Wars universe. I actually made a little list for Ash and his friends as well as the characters from Pokémon Horizons, but that depends if anyone's interested in my offer. Again, I wasn't sure if anyone would really care, but it would be nice to know. A little kindness would really be appreciated.
Shocking News from Sega
Posted 11 months agoFor those of you who have Steam, I have some shocking news.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/tech.....923d&ei=19
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/tech.....923d&ei=19
Pokémon Zom 100 Dance
Posted a year agoBecause Halloween is coming soon, I have a very special request to anyone who's interested. How many of you are familiar with Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead? To make a long story short, I got a Halloween request inspired by it, and I was wondering if any of you would be interested in it. What if Ash Ketchum and his friends reenacted the dance from the opening of Zom 100? And when was the last time you saw zombies dancing, let alone in an anime for that matter?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt4_enX63K0
I already thought about some ideas for costumes. Ash and probably Pikachu as Akira Tendo, Misty as Shizuka Mikazuki, Brock as Kenichiro Ryuzaki (Or Kencho) and Serena as Beatrix Amerhauser (Or Bea). The rest of Ash's friends could be some of the characters from Zom 100, even some of the side characters, if you want (I lost track on most of them). I even imagined Gary Oak as Gonzou Kosugi and Paul as Kanta Higurashi. As for Higurashi's group, why not Jessie, James and Meowth from Team Rocket? And if you want to shake things up, here's another thought for Team Rocket, Meowth dragging a zombified Jessie and James who have their arms and jaws cut off and a couple of chains around their necks. As for the dancing zombies, why not all of Ash's Pokémon? Heck, even the Pokémon his friends own could take part in it. You're all welcome to do a pic based on this for when Halloween comes around. But if you don't think you'll have time for it or have projects of your own for Halloween, that's fine. I'm just offering all of you something fun for Halloween. Oh... and Happy Halloween.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt4_enX63K0
I already thought about some ideas for costumes. Ash and probably Pikachu as Akira Tendo, Misty as Shizuka Mikazuki, Brock as Kenichiro Ryuzaki (Or Kencho) and Serena as Beatrix Amerhauser (Or Bea). The rest of Ash's friends could be some of the characters from Zom 100, even some of the side characters, if you want (I lost track on most of them). I even imagined Gary Oak as Gonzou Kosugi and Paul as Kanta Higurashi. As for Higurashi's group, why not Jessie, James and Meowth from Team Rocket? And if you want to shake things up, here's another thought for Team Rocket, Meowth dragging a zombified Jessie and James who have their arms and jaws cut off and a couple of chains around their necks. As for the dancing zombies, why not all of Ash's Pokémon? Heck, even the Pokémon his friends own could take part in it. You're all welcome to do a pic based on this for when Halloween comes around. But if you don't think you'll have time for it or have projects of your own for Halloween, that's fine. I'm just offering all of you something fun for Halloween. Oh... and Happy Halloween.
Never Forget September 11
Posted a year agoIt's been over 20 years since the 9/11 event. I kind of want to get something off my chest about it, although what I'm to say is a little complicated to explain. I vaguely remember what happened. My dad was taking me to elementary school. I think I was in the fourth or fifth grade if I remember correctly. On the way there, however, my dad told me about some shocking if not horrifying news. Terrorists hijacked a plane and crashed into the World Trade Center in New York on September 11, 2001. 3,000 people lost their lives on that horrifying day. Heck, I didn't even understand much of the details until years later. And I was ten years old at the time, mind you. In fact, I actually have some family members in New York (Long story). And ever since then, every September 11, all I can say about it is that I won't forget about 9/11, and the memory of that heartbreaking still leaves me unhappy every September 11 to this day. May Heaven rest the souls of the 3,000 people who passed away. May they all rest in peace. Never forget September 11th.
R.I.P. James Earl Jones (1931-2024)
Posted a year agoSad to say, I just found out that James Earl Jones who is known for roles in Field of Dreams, The Lion King and Star Wars passed away at age 93. Rest in peace.
https://x.com/IGN/status/1833246005313036591
https://x.com/IGN/status/1833246005313036591
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