Hey there all! This year I've really been re engaging with little space, and as such I've rediscovered how fond I am of pampers! As such, I set up a diaper stash where anyone who wants to contribute can add to my stash! Don't feel obligated, but if you want to feed my fetish and make me a very happy trashcoon throw a little something in! Link below!

https://diaperstash.pampers.com/Share/6580

Does anybody read my journals? I honestly want to know, cause if nobody reads em im not gonna post em anymore! I like hearing from yall, so comment if you read my stuff!

You know, the version of me from about four or five years ago when all of this first started used to be so uptight, so anxious, and so angsty and resentful. I look at myself now, and alot has changed but at the same time alot hasnt changed. I look at life in a whole new way compared to how I used to think ( I may as well have been emo even though I would never admit it. ) but even in light of this there is a deep hole in my heart that nothing seems to be able to fill. I've tried talking with people I care about, but nothing seems to be able to break the chain. I'm in college now, I've made a few acquaintances, and I'm involved in a couple different organizations as well as having a job to pay for all of my tuition. As the first semester comes to a close, I have lost almost all drive to do just about anything. I have lost touch with some of the few good friends i had, some because of the election (not my doing, by the way, i could care less who you voted for), and some have just..changed. Work isn't great either, but when is work ever great for anyone? At work, I try not to talk to anybody, although being a little bit hyper active means sometimes if you're feeling okay you start to take risks and talk to folks and try to make connections. It doesn't take much to get me to shut down though, as silly as that may sound. I find that it doesn't take much more than me saying something awkward to get me to shut back down again. Although this makes the problem worse, while im trying to save myself the trouble of making the conversation even more awkward. See, I want to be a police officer one day, and before that I wanted to join the army. But because of my medical history I couldn't enlist. Its hard to see myself being a cop if I have such low self esteem and self confidence. Only problem is I have no idea how to build strength in either of those areas. I never thought I would need to do such a thing, but when everything went down the tubes, I didnt really know what to do. I still don't. I don't blame my family anymore for what happened to me. I accept that I had a pretty good chance to control how that situation went and I just chose wrong. I just dont know what to do now. There doesn't seem to be a next step, just me existing. Anyway, if you read all the way down here, you're a trooper. I don't really know why i decided to post this tonight, I never got anything out of my other journals, but it could be that they were more self centered and arrogant than people were willing to deal with. Only time will tell I suppose.

My good friend is in need of help. If you cannot donate, at least share the link around.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:47000240

Its been two years to the day as well as I can remember. Two years since I joined the fandom, two years since things went to hell in a hand basket. I don't really know how to feel about it. In fact I don't really even know what to say about it other than that. I personally don't feel like anything has changed since all of that stuff happened. Any time i hears song that i used to listen to on my way to the therapists office or any time the weather even feels like it did a couple years ago, it brings back memories that are painful to think about.

been pretty lonely lately. anybody wanna chat?

i probably ought to have posted this on friday but i didnt think about it till now. on friday i had my first car accident. im not really sure how, but i was able to walk away from it without a scratch. i was in the left most lane, with two lanes of heavy traffic to my right. what i didnt know was they had stopped to wave this lady through so she could make a left turn. i was doing about forty five when she entered my lane from in front of the cars. i didnt have enough time to stop and i didnt know if there was someone in the turn lane to my left so i couldnt swerve. there was that moment right before i crashed when i new it was inevitable, and that was probably the scariest moment of my life. a million different things ran through my mind all at once. after i realized i was alright, i noticed my airbags didnt go off, which was also alarming. then i got out of my car and made sure the others were ok, which they were. the lady was very sorry and even offered to pay for my dinner at the arbys we crashed in front of. the worst part was i had just bought more padding not two minutes before, and i was deathly afraid my mom or dad would find out. thankfully they didnt and everything turned out mostly ok. my car needs some work, and their car was absolutely totaled.

i would greatly appreciate it if you fine folks would fill me in on how a PO box will work? i need to open one up but i need to be sure that if i provide my address they wont send me anything like "you have mail in your box" or "its time to renew your purchase" or anything like that, its gotta be totally under the radar. anyone able to help fill me in? drop a comment

How can you do this to me? Your only son..you never even let me talk...you just kept making things worse...why wouldn't you listen to me when I told you you were hurting me...did you even care? Would you care now? Would you even believe me?....so many questions that will never be answered...how could you just throw me aside like I was nothing? I thought I was your son...I feel more like your toy..I sit alone on the shelf when you have no use for me but when you take me off the shelf, you just insult me and throw me around, then it's back on the shelf. All alone...you don't know how it feels to be shelved. You shelved me away...your only son...do you care? You don't seem to...what did I ever do to deserve to be kicked aside like this?...am I still worth anything in your eyes? Am I worth less now....it sure feels that way. I thought I could trust you...but you betrayed me...I will never put my trust in you again...as if it ever mattered whether I trust you or not. You're still going to do whatever the hell your going to do and whatever I think about it sing gonna mean shit to you. You even told me to my face it didn't mean anything to you. You take no interest in anything I do..and only have something resembling a conversation when I've done something wrong....but I just want you to love me...I want you not to be disgusted with me anymore...please...love me again....that's all I want.,.youve already stomped on all of my dreams, I don't have a whole lot left to hold on to. I wish I had your love as one of those things to hold onto....but I don't guess I can have it....you never really were there for me...you never truly sat with me when I cried. You were there sitting next to me, but I know now it was all a lie. There's been countless nights where all I can do Is cry. You don't know how awful it is....to not be loved anymore...when it hits you, you realize you're NOTHING, to most if not everyone around you. You won't ever understand...how much it hurts..to be left alone by the ones who were supposed to love you...every day that passes me by, I wish you'd know how I feel, but you took the courage away from me...you already told me you don't care...so I don't even bother trying...I don't even know why I bothered writing this. It's not like you'll ever see it. Or anyone other than me is ever going to read this...just do me a favor...and leave me on the shelf this time....

ever get those days where the world just seems to kick you in the ass? as if being tired isnt enough, i get homework, even though tonight it wasnt much, i nearly ran over this punk who was skateboarding in the middle of the road, had i not looked up i woulda whacked this guy. my car is hot as hell since it has no AC, all kinds of shit

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5044163/ have a looky for yourself

Hey check this out! someones offering free art! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5036154/

ok so in short im a Teen baby. not gonna do the whole intro thing again because for some reason my browser decided to be a troll and close out on me mid-journal. so anyway basically heres whats happened to me so far in short

I got into the baby fur fandom about mid-late april. in early may I got a girlfriend. one day she saw my mommy fur Skype me saying "im here baby" and that was the only message she saw. so she thought I was cheating on her. I explained my furry side and how that was my momma fur. she left me right after I told her with the classic excuse "im not ready for a relationship" so then I told my parents and when they asked why I was a dumbass and told them I was a teen baby as well as a DL. they've known I like diapers for years and I guess this was too much but whatever. they said no more Skype or roleplay. I was pissed beyond belief and on top of that they sent me to therapy. I went to therapy just like they said and the therapist said I was fine and they still wouldn't let me Skype so I did the stupid thing and cut myself. I didn't know what else to do. my dad saw and didn't even bother asking why. he said if it happened again id go to a mental ward till I was 18. which when I heard it it sounded to me like "instead of helping you through this, id rather send you to a hospital and let them deal with you"

I obviously didn't listen and continued fighting with them. I tried telling them how I feel. my mom told me I wasn't normal and my dad told me to shut the fuck up. so I basically wrote them off from my TB/DL part of my life. now that's the basis of what happened to me. I wont delve into what all happened to me as a kid. it wasn't all that much but its worse than some folks can say they went through. but now onto the real reason I wrote this.

Being a teen or adult baby, your not a fucking pedophile. you want to feel those feelings a baby has. love. care. unconditional love at that. for me, I could be doing a lot worse than this. I could be doing drugs, smoking, drinking, any of that. but I don't. instead, I hide in my room and I have to go into a fantasy world to feel like someone cares. what happened to mom and dad who said I could come to them with anything? my dad said he really doesn't wanna hear about this stuff and hes made it all too clear that he doesn't want to be in this part of my life. but then when he practically begs me to tell him what I roleplay as and I tell him im fine and I don't want him in this part of my life, he goes behind my back, tells my mom, and they just close me down. everything shot right out of the fucking sky. when I needed them, when I was feeling down about my girlfriend (she was in 7th and I was in 9th but I take what I can get. I don't get a lot of chicks) my dad was like "you didn't really like her" and all that crap. but what im getting at here is that they should be glad that I do this instead of other shit. and they had their chance at knowing how I feel. but they pushed me aside. I feel like im not enough for them. and I never will be. I cant be normal like they want me to be. I never will be. that's that. have a good day. I most likely wont. I have to go to therapy. damn it when will it end?