Figured I would post this here so if you guys wanna check it out. <3 support my channel maybe subscribe

https://youtu.be/miJH1gXZYag

So I love board games like LOVE them. I wish I could play them more, but sadly my gaming group is kinda disbanded for now. We all work way to much, being an adult sucks. I do hope that when I move to California I find people who play games as well. It is the furry fandom though so Im sure I will XD.

Ive also had this horrible urge to watch Stargate sg-1 lately. I almost want to buy the box sets. Its been so cold the weather is just perfect to curl up and watch the war between humans, Tok'ra and Goa'uld. With the ancients thrown in now and then. But whateves. I hope everyone is doing good, I know I have been absent for ages.

Oh and saving the best for last. IVE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR HORMONES ^^. It is just a trial the doctor is concerned about my liver but if things stay in the green ill be on hormones for good. I cant wait I start my patches tomorrow. Wish me luck, its been over a year since I started this process.

so yeah settling into the new place is nice. The upstairs neighbor is kinda loud when she screams obsenities at her 7 year old but hey her 4 kids are also loud as shit sometimes so it is nice when the quiet down. And before anyone freaks out, if I thought she was abusing them verbally, mentally, or physically I would call child services. But other then that living alone is rather nice, anxiety has been through the roof but I think that is also in part with the fact that I am still not on hormones but hopefully by next month I will be then I can drink and smoke like normal again :p.

Work has been stressful but good, should be getting promoted as soon as we get our car. I kinda just wanna get a clunker and get promoted since there is a working saturn for 200 that I mean.... it will work and we can get some use out of it but with the promotion be able to set aside more for a better car. But if we can get financing we have a good chunk down and I found one I really like at a local used dealer.

I dunno life is life, im terrible and all that yaddayadda. Things are getting better and looking up though, I cant wait till things start settling down.

starting a new chapter of my life with jere. We are moving in together with no roommates just us. We are well... i wont get into that. But yeah because of this i wont be able to afford my bloodwork so i will have to push it back, buttttt at least i got my approval for hormones all i need is the blood work at my perscription ^^. I cant wait im super excited I have my new patient meeting on the third after that it should be easier to make appointments to get my bloodwork done.hopefully

I feel really down... could use some furry interaction if anyone wants to talk drop me a line.

Two fur suiters were caught having sex on the hood of a car during the NJ fur bbq

Here is the full story from one of the people running it
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3573735/

they have set up a donation journal to
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3573936/

This is crazy... like seriously why would you do this I mean I dont care that you have a suit fetish or you have a public sex fetish dont do it during events like this and please dont do it in front of children x.x I mean hell thats insane

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8217449/

Free arts ^^

So anthrocon was awesome ^^ had a ton of fun got to hang out with alot of people spent most of my time at the hookah circles. PCD is hitting me hard though. I think im gonna hide from everyone for about three years now :p

DISCLAIMER
this is a raffle; you are not guaranteed to win if you participate.
Only one entry per person.
If you do not like raffles, that's fine but keep it to yourself.
Rude or inappropriate comments will be hidden.
The art will be a simple pinup; your choice or not.
Art is for a single character commission; the prize will not be upgraded.

Those are the disclaimers for the rafle from her hehe

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3556479/

So today is my birthday ^^ I am 23 today and guess what Im doing to celebrate my birthday XD Im doing commissions lol

I want really good headphones for my birthday. Even though I know that wont happen cause most of the pairs I want are over 100 dollars and we is poor XD. But I think I found a good pair of skull candys that will give me what Im looking for for around 60. I love music so much and I have a weird taste in music, I call my taste "I listen to anything I find good" which confuses some people but thats so easy. I am heavily into Visual Kei. Any time I am upset I just turn on Dir En Grey or Gazzette and they scream away my depression. Music is a big part of my life and I need it there. So much drama has been going on lately I feel my mind slipping back into depression and I dont wanna go there. But I think Ill be depressed for the most part till I get on hormones. At least then Ill actually be on my process of becoming the woman I am.

stupid journal is stupid journal no one is gonna read it so byeeeeee *huggles everyone that actually reads my rambling*

alright Ill try it

name a fetish and Ill tell you what I think.

I wonder who actually reads these things but hey whatever.

Im going to AC this year and Ill be doing all my normal lion stuff I normally do. If I am on hormones by then I will be happy but I dont expect it. I know by next year I will be. I wanna get a commission though and I am looking around but if anyone knows any good artists open that are good drawing female characters that I am not watching let me know cause I wanna get a couple things. Anyway hope everyone is good, seem to have pissed off a few people recently and I really dont care most of the people I pissed off I dont really like. And if they dont like me then what the fuck ever haters gonna hate and all that jazz. Anyway birthday is fast approaching and I am looking forward to it although I might not be having a party cause AC is so close to it Ill just get plastered there. Anyone wanna buy this girl a drink there are surely welcome to XD

Yepp Ill be 23 in three months. Lol didnt know when I was a little kid that when I turned 23 I would be thinking of myself as a female. Been a really up and down past two years for me. Been through a lot of life changes and Im finally starting to let things go and be healthy again. Its really hard I keep going back into my old mindset almost instantly Im like fighting my mind telling myself my friends like me even if I say they dont I know they do. Its hard for me to get used to thinking in a good mindset but I am happy im ready to be myself again. I want my next year to be a change in my life in more ways then one. I hope that I get put on hormones at some point after I turn 23 hopefully before, but that is up to my therapist. I just wanna be happy and myself. And people suck if they dont want the same XD.

Might go back into that hole I crawled out of. I dont know if this girl was ready to be social again.

anyone wanna strike up a conversation with this girl? note me or get me on IM's AIM/YIM: solemnheart786

Yeah Im looking to commission someone. To draw my fursona again. This time it will be different though cause well... He will be a She. Anyone know any good artists?

Hey :playstation3furs: are hosting a raffle for a custom made PS3 hoodie with a sketch of your character on it ^^ its awesome so yall who has PS3's should check it out like now! XD http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3079527/

I have had the most difficult time looking for another copy of P3FES I need to play it all the way through. But in other Joran related news I just got Persona 4 its awesome ^^ not that far into it yet, only fought like 3 bosses but it is so much more vulgar then P3 like holy crap. There is apparently a scene with a gay boy and a strip club at some point.

IM A LION!

that is all :p

more seriousness journal thing coming later if I dont get distracted by shiny things *runs away chasing something shiny

So yeah school has started again and I really like this semester I'm kinda tired though. I'm so ready to get out of school. Life has started getting better which is good hehe. Trying to get back into the groove of having no free time. Been working out a little too. I've been really tired recently though lol. Oh and hopefully I'll be out of debt by Christmas. Well.... Bill debt. Still got those dreaded student loans to look foward to when I finally graduate lol. Things will be getting better I know it.

Feeling so anti social x.x

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2645444/ go here to get added to the raffle thingy

Im tired

Very tired, of feeling as if I have to please everyone all the time. I'm just one lion, and one person. Granted I'm a gemini and I have two sides to me, I highly doubt you really wanna meet my other side. I make mistakes I make really mean jokes about myself, I know I do this and usually its to help me. usually if I don't it hurts worse then keeping it inside. If I say it out loud and actually hear it I hear how ridiculous it sounds. And then there are times where I just make jokes. I am sorry x.x I want to please everyone all the time, but its getting really really hard and compromising my own happiness. Which means Im gonna have to start caring about myself again.