& another one opens.

For those who don't know...I have move out of the house in Baraboo. Having to live in a house with very messy living conditions...affected me phyiscally.. and emoitnally.

So for people who don't know where i am living now is with Wags in Sauk City... To help out with his parents and also work on getting back into school. It's the best thing for me to do. I want to thank everyone in Baraboo, for helping me out as best as they can.


But now that leads to this...Will Jaxson be at cons...Sources Say No. I have school to concentrate for now. So i am taking a small hiatus from cons for now. I will still be on messangers.

*hugs all*

Jaxy

For those who read the broke up post between Draven and I. First off it was stupid for my feelings. Many people might hate me how i fucking wrote the post... But it's something that needed to be done. Draven and I are still friends.

If anyone does forgive me... Then Thanks....If not...Then now i know how many people think of my character.

P.S. I know it's an immature thing to do... But it's a learning experience. Thanks to my selfish thinking and trying every which way to work out. Well.. Thanks for supporting Me all.

Jaxs

I have made up my fucking mind....

I have made a choice that makes me Happy....

Either you understand or you don't....

Thanks for the memories all the good and the bad....

But it's time for me to move on and try to find something to make me happy and also.... to realize that my goals have not been met...

No one put me up to this... This is my own choice....THAT IS IT! My thoughts all my pain.....Please remember the good and the bad times....


And I dream broken dreams, I make them come true
I make them come true
I make them for you

Jax

I hope everyone have a safe trip...

But however I'll be at these Cons

FurFright 2010 (Cromwell, CT) Oct 29-31,2010
Midwest Fur Fest (Chicago, IL) Nov 19-21, 2010
Furry Convention North 2011

And a slight trip back home and to San Fran :3

Yesterday,

 rikki44 and  pitchblackhusky decided to head out to NAKACON in Madison. Because i was so anxious to debut my suit... i actually was like... i want to get into suit badly and quickly.... So got into suit.. and supirzed a few people.. cause i hidden my Jaxson Nametag.

Then bumped into  onai, and  shadee and has some hilarity. But really i did enjoy the con... There are pictures on the way.

For the debut.

Laters

Jaxson

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I has job now but unforutnally i am going have to push back the suit debut to mff...and also that mean ac is a no go for me. Hate to do it but i need the money.

Jax

I actually am not getting in the middle of any of the drama between Couple A and Couple B. Reason why... I hate to say it... I don't need to bring it in to my relationship with Draven...I already have my stresses with not finding a job in the area and also trying to keep my insanity with out ripping my hair out.

I think this is the God honest truth since living with Couple A. There Good Guys... But i do see some kinks in the armor. Also Visited Couple B and saw some of the kinks in there armor. And since being involved in the sqandrel. I can't really choose sides... cause i have my own life to live. For the names that need to be said.... It's drama that i don't need... like i said.

Which brings me to this.... and also a lighter note...

ANTHROCON HOLY FUCKING SHIT I CAN'T WAIT TO GO... this is my first time going to be in Pittsburgh. And well really can't wait to meet more furs and also going to debuting my suit.. I have already have friends that want to see me... (Quentin i can't wait to meet you hun) and also Thesis and Sym it would be great to actually meet yah in real life.


Emotional Status- Like every couple out there some of us that still get a little nervous trying to explain my feelings with Draven Sometimes...Like I said this is my first time in a longer relationship. (going on 6 months which still gets me like saying wow....) Besides having some good friends help me along the way. The main stress is the money... cause now to cover for bills i am down to $50 and well it's hurting me emoitnally cause well.... I am hating not having a fucking job. In other words... If i can't make AC cause of job or if i get one i will actually gobble that up quickly. In other words....Stress=low sex drive=very unhappy puppy.... But that's the thing with me. Stress does affect my mood apparently and my sex drive. So yeah... haven't been clicking with draven all cause we both have been stressed.

But that's the update with me...

copy to LJ

Coping to My lj To...

Just gave a call to my mother and wanted to wish her a happy mothers day. Give a wonderful shout out to your moms if possible.

Jax

 strongpawz made me do it :P


Fill out this noise and post it here.

1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Film:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of FA?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

Is Like Highschool... Seriously >.<

It's Time to reveal the alt account.

Yush I have an alt account. This is starting to get my first fursuit. It's going to be a pitchblack mountain dew husky. Named Pitcher. There is going to be photos and art of the suit.


Here is the account.

 pitchblackhusky


Later,

Jaxson

(RAH)² (AH)³ + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)² + OOH(LA)²

Jaxson

As soon as i got home from Work.... I flick on the light in our room and suddenly i see this bag from BABW. And Open the bag and see a card and also a freaking rose and a bear. I opened the card and it said... "I Love You My Pet" Signed Draven....


ZOMG I BLUSHED...

I <3 My Master...

Jaxson

My Grandmother just past away at 2pm... MST.

>.<


I'm alright just a little at ease...

Jax

And now that my money is slowly starting to piss me off.....I just called my mom and she is like.... "have you done this?" "have you done that?" "what about this?" "what about that?" and right now i can't fucking stand it because well....I am trying to live my life and try to succeed...it's just another fucking road block for her saying that i am a fucking dead beat.

I am slowly trying to pay everything off... trying to keep rent squared away... and also trying to save up for college.. i have worked for every single ounce of my fucking life and then it gets destroyed cause of my mom is pushing me to pay people off while i am trying to succeed here....>.<

As most people do not know what the fuck has been going on with me.. it's been stressed... as some people know that my grandmother is hospice and well guess who is on Edge....Me...

I have been such on edge that even me and my master had a fight... a minor fight...and yes it wasn't pretty... it was over minor stuff but then it turned into a fight that didn't need to happen then basically master snapped... Gut Reaction:Snap back. Then it completely turned into even more of a wreck when i started to fucking cry and started doubting my fucking exsistance (as in not wanting to succeed, that things will not work, that i would be shipped back home and basically drama). Then to top it off i brought off the shit from me trying to get back home and then living with mom for the next few days... and i regret it as well ). So yeah... Otter is very fucking stressed and really can't wait to leave for Waukesha and hang out with Bit and his crew... But feel free on the warning....i may still be on edge for the next week....until this thing passes...Hell i can't even look at the christmas gift that my grandmother gave me cause it hurts that fucking bad.....


Later i need sleep,

Jaxson

So yeah i got woken up by my father early this morning and found out that my grandmother is fucking even closer to death. She is moving towards Hospice care... and she could be gone in any second...Even though my Master and myself will be in Waukesha for the next week hanging with Bit and his crew.... Still going to have my cell phone on me....But still taking stuff one step at a time...and looks like soon i am going to have to take a trip down to kansas city....>.<.


Later,

Otter

For those who have seen me all kinda clouded up....or uptight... or anything.....

Time to lets big thing...about myself...

1) I know i have done some stupid stuff in Illinois and Missouri but i may worry about it... but it's time to say... FUCK IT. It means nothing... I live with such awesome guys that make me happy.
2) I may be an annoying brat... hell that's my personality... I am sorry if i get on peoples nerves.....>.<
3) If i ever fucked you over then I apologized. If i "burned you" i am sorry....if i have turn into an emo bitch... then ignore me...or just understand i want to live and become someone i am not.....and fucking dream about shit that i want things to fucking work then just cripple in my paws. (like finish school and make amends with my mom which i doubt that would ever fucking happen, Just be a better person without being this run down person that everyone that has seen me fuck up would just see me for a person. Not some fuckup)!!!

Sorry its been eating me and i have to let this out.....

Warning if you don't want to hear me vent then please don't read

I am fucking hate when people that i use to know at home still see me as a fucking pup. Yeah i know i bitch and complain about stuff...it's called venting for a reason. Now i have my fucking past bring up again...or people telling me that i am full of myself... that i have an ego the side of my head... WHAT PART OF ME BEING HUMAN DON'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND...I am sick of being treated like a pup (not in the rp way) but more as the actually looking down on me... for a reason.

Like i said when i moved in with aiden when i was in Illinois...Moved in with Falcon and that crew up in Bassett, and now with master and my new roommates here in baraboo. I was trying to get a better start....and that is still the plan... I AM SICK OF THIS.

I have tried to show people that i can do stuff.. that i can live on my own. And you know what...I have fucking tried...We all make mistakes but still my fucking past gets brought up... me not thinking before responding... THAT IS THE FUCKING PAST.

If anyone wants to tell me that i am a failure and need to have my fucking tail between my legs... then you could all fucking get out of here....YOUR NOT GOD. For those who actually want me to succeed...Then thank you.

FOR NOW G'NIGHT!

Otter

ZOMG one more year before insurance goes down and stuff :P

Fun...

And i am now 24 :D


Let the spankings begin

With just four freaking days before i turn 24.... this happens...

I received a phone call from my father about three thirty...CST and got a phone call from my father saying that my own grandmother is on her death bed. Right now i am at freaking shaking... cause it's a) closer to my birthday and b) why does this have to happen. I really wish i had better news to start off 2010. But Nope... this bomb shell... it was two years ago that i lost my grandfather a couple of days before thanksgiving....

Part of me wants to go down and go be with the family but right now...but i don't want to deal with the bull shit from the family... espically what happen since coming out.....I'll go just for the support.... NOT THE BULL SHIT.

Later,

Jaxson

As many people would have guess this is an obligatory Future Post...

But however this is what i have to say...

2009: Was a big learning experience to me....
a) Left Home (Kansas City) and came out to my parents....(still trying to reconcile but no luck...)
b) Made some piss poor decisions (In Illinois) that i still regret doing but it made me a better person on that...
c) Moved up to Baraboo, WI and found a job within a week....

What does it look like for me in 2010...

All i can say is the future looks a little bright....And maybe i can reconcile with friends that i basically destroyed friendships cause of my piss poor decisions.

So that is my new year's resolution....Even if it is going to take a fucking year to tackle it. This year is where this otter takes another giant leap...

All i can say is hop along for the ride....

Have you ever got the feeling like Christmas away from your family is totally awkward it ain't funny. That you think they want to put a box and forget about you... that you want to just go somewhere and just cry...

Yeah... I did called the parents.. but it was like a few mintues of calling them did kinda help.. but also the just plain awkwardness of being there would just put me in more of a cycle after what happen earlier in the year....

For once in my life i just want to fucking cry....That's how bad the feeling is....It was great spending holidays with Draven, Chanur, Ian, Oru and Stairway... and going to work again christmas... what joy and holiday cheer....*sighs*.


For once... Someone hold me....Once...