Stress and depression have been eating me the past few days. I feel bad enough that I've been slow with commissions, now I can hardly push myself to keep working, due to the aforementioned stress and depression, anxiety, self-doubt... It's very frustrating, and I'm sorry to everyone who's been waiting longer than they'd have to for their art. I'm not trying to slack off. I'm trying to make sure I'm in a good enough mental state to push myself to commit to my work. But right now the pushing hurts too much. I don't like feeling pressured to finish stuff.

So after talking with some amazing friends, I've decided that I'll have to take a 5-day break from all commission work, or anything I owe to other people. It's the source of my current stress phase. I need to let myself recover and relax until the stress subdues for at least 5 days. I'll be drawing the next stage of the growth drive tomorrow, but my break would officially start the day after. And by Friday or Saturday, I'll possibly be ready for commissions again. I can't promise this though, depression bouts are hard to predict, especially time-wise.

But hopefully soon I will be stable enough to keep working. Because given how much I've struggled with my previous job, commissions are pretty much all I have, in regards to finances. I've been trying to save money to move out from family and live a comfortable, independent life, but so far I've gotten nowhere. In fact it's getting worse now.

So yeah...

Sorry everyone, I've been feeling out of it for the past week, due to a messed up sleep schedule. Hopefully I can still stream next week. Hope you all understand.

Sudden episode of depression and low energy. I apologize for the inconvenience.

I will try to make up for this by opening for sketch commissions every Saturday from here on.

I've put up a Trello to keep track of the projects I have due:

https://trello.com/b/IIoMkaIr/commission-progress

I already have several on the list, but I can for sure work through them. Commissions are still closed off from the public, but I'll try to open for YCH auctions in the future when my queue clears up more, so I hope y'all are looking forward to that~

Totally forgot I've yet to write a journal here on FA about all that's been going on for the past month. I'll try to explain as quickly as possible.

So to recap the biggest thing was that the ceiling in my room broke off due to rain making it unstable. It was a major inconvenience and approximately 3 weeks have been spent getting it fixed. Another thing was that my parents couldn't afford Internet for a while, though luckily I still had data on my phone to communicate with others. I couldn't use my computer privately because my room had to be repaired, and that didn't help my progress on my art queue. I also caught a nasty flu and started having trouble sleeping. Some nights I could sleep fine, while most other nights I couldn't breathe normally for some reason, even to this day. I do whatever I can to solve it, but I can't pinpoint the exact reason for it. Anxiety from work? Unhealthy eating habits? Necessity for a better bed? I worry that this difficulty in breathing could lead to...worse health issues.

But the good news, my ceiling is fixed(as you can guess), internet has returned, I'm confidently working in my new job, and I'm back in the art game. I'll try to finish everything I have as soon as I possibly can, and upload regularly rather than put off things I finish for random art dumps. I also have YCHs and other surprise projects planned, so look forward to what those may be!

My new, current life plan is to save up the money I earn from commissions and my job to someday move into my own apartment. It's something I'm very excited about, so thanks to this goal, I'm working harder than I ever have. Here's to a more satisfying, fulfilling life

The issue is resolved for now. My parents offered to take me to and from work for most of the week. No more donations are needed. I'll still try to finish whatever commissions are left in my queue. I apologize to all my customers for my slow pace as of late. Depression has been hitting super hard, and it's hard to work up the motivation to draw. I promise they'll still be finished. I just...I need to care for myself too.

I'm in a really tight spot right now... I'm starting my new job tomorrow, and I need money for public transportation to make it for the week until I can somehow get my family to drive me. I don't have much time to take emergency commissions, and my internet is out, currently, so I can't take or finish commissions anyways.

I would greatly appreciate it if you can donate, but only donate what you can. Any amount helps.

paypal.me/JouigiRabbit

And if you have any questions, or if I'm being too vague, please let me know.

-Sketched Outlines
-Two characters max
-Comes with a written message that can be customized upon request
-$20 each ($10 for extra character)

Due to job stuff coming up, the stream will have to be postponed tomorrow in a later time than intended, or the day after tomorrow.

1.  5

2.  TheConflicted

3.  Inktail

4.  Plinkie_Poi

5. Anonymous

Note: Patrons can claim a sketch, but it won't take up slots in this queue

Putting this up as a reminder.

Sketches will be lined and cost $20, and $10 more for a second character. Apologies for the potential confusion from the last journal when I said they'll be "colored sketch lines". What I meant to say is that the outlines will have a certain color(pink), not that the lines will be colored in. But yeah, stay tuned for tomorrow!

Please, please, PLEASE have your commission info in one piece, and be specific if you can. I prefer not to have details just spread around in conversation, it makes me stressed trying to piece them together. I made a commission form for this exact reason, but many of us(myself included) have been neglecting it. So if we're not going to use the form anymore, I still need commission information to be organized, even if we're close. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad or guilty, I just want everyone to know for future reference.

I'm thinking about opening say...5 slots for them, then streaming them all on Saturday. They will be colored, rough line sketches, with two characters max and messages you can customize for your loved ones. Stay tuned for when they open!

So cutting to the chase, I'm afraid commissions will have to be permanently closed off from the public. I'll only allow them from patrons on my Patreon, and those whom I choose to give privileges to.

The reason for this is that I'm going to be starting a part time job soon. Seeing as how I'm already slow on my current queue, I feel like my job will make me slower and less motivated, as I'd be more focused on managing my time better and self care. This may seem like a selfish choice, but a necessary one, if I'm going to work towards living independently. I need a reliable income. Because honestly, I'm not always able to draw. I can burn out, and be required to let myself recharge and motivate myself. I am human after all.

But hopefully I can keep up this job, work hard and earn lots of money to sustain my life. If it's any reassurance, I'll occasionally open for emergency sketches, special occasions, whatever may come up. This isn't guaranteed though, so I wouldn't advise to hold your breath.

So yeah, I apologize for the disappointment to people who were hoping to get a commission from me. Hopefully you all understand.

Turns out that all I had to do was replace the nib on my stylus. It's been flat for the longest. So I ordered some new ones. Little did I know though...I had replacement nibs all along hidden in the back of the tablet. I had to look up how to remove the nib from my pen to find out. Well at least I have even more spare nibs, hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah- *cough*

Anyway, we will now return to regularly scheduled arting.

My tablet or my pen is acting super weird.

Sometimes when I stroke, and lift up the pen to move the cursor to a different part of the canvas(or to click on a button), the tablet will still think I'm drawing, with the lowest sensitivity possible. So it's like the sensitivity is...sensitive. It's really annoying, and I don't want to try to work around it. I've been using this tablet for over a year, so maybe it just derped after so long? Like it's starting to show its age, as well as stroke marks and the nib being worn out to a flat end. I'll probably have to order a new pen online to see if that will work. And if not, then I'll need a new tablet entirely.

Until then, progress on commissions will be slow at best. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience, everybody. I'll try to fix things as soon as possible.

I lost track of time and wanted to relax after the holidays. I'll make up for it with a stream tomorrow.

Get 'em while you can! Also, forms are no longer necessary. Just send me a note with details and an email. But make sure to claim the slot first.

Commission Info: https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss...../jouigidragon/
Terms of Service: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing

1.   TheConflicted

2.   UltimateOtterPand

3.   VirMegator

4.   Raquao

5.   Skinth

6.   Nix_Darkhart

7.   TheIconFinder

8.   SparkieSparkeBun

9.   PudgyPrince

10.   AgentOfEmpathy

Slots will finally open tomorrow on 3PM Pacific(6PM Eastern). Unfortunately I cannot reserve slots, so make sure to catch me as soon as they open. First come, first served.

I've had a lot of people ask me about them, and honestly it's been putting pressure on me. Because I know how quick commissions fill up, and I hate to disappoint those who won't get them in time after asking about it.

So I'm going to say this now, and put it on my front page to save myself the stress: Please don't ask me about commissions when I'm closed. I will put up warnings everywhere possible for when I'm thinking about opening in the near future, so that everyone will at least know ahead of time.

That said, I'm thinking about opening on the coming Monday, which is next week.

I'll use that time to finish anything owed in my current queue. Speaking of which, so there won't be as long of a wait, I'll rework the order of how I work on commissions. So when I sketch one, I'll sketch the next. Same with the line and color phases. It's hard to thoroughly explain, but hopefully it'll make sense in time. Until then, I ask for everyone to please be patient with me, I'm trying my best.

I have to come to terms. I've left my current queue on for the longest, and I feel like the sketch streams I've been doing are what's making me procrastinate from the main queue. Because I relied on the streams for money. And that's not right.

So here's what I'm going to do: Today will be a catch-up stream so that I can try to finish owed patron rewards and commissions. And from then on, each Saturday stream will be the same way, as I'll try to open for main commissions more often.

Also, heads up for a couple of commission offers coming in the near future~

Alternate title: Obligatory Milestone Journal

Anyway, thank you all for watching me! And welcome to all you new followers; I hope you enjoy what I put up. :3 Honestly I think it's just...wild that over a thousand people look at my work. And a lot of those people are good friends of mine. While some may just be alternate accounts

...That's about all I have to say. God, I'm bad with these kinds of journals. Maybe start a related conversation in the comments? I'd love to answer any questions people may have.

Stay tuned for stream commission openings. I wanna make sure there's enough time for people to join first.

https://picarto.tv/JouigiDragon

Mic: Off
Music: On

(CW stands for "Content Warning" for those who don't know)

Because it has come to my attention that not everyone who follows me wants to see the other kinks I upload, mainly diapers/ABDL stuff. And that's okay, I want to respect those who are not into those kinds of things, and only follow me for fats. So I'm thinking about making CW thumbnails.

That being said though...don't go out of your way to comment negatively on content you personally don't like. I draw what I want to draw, regardless of CWs. I ask you to please respect that.

Thoughts?

I've realized I'm not in the best mental state to accept or start working on commissions right now. Motivation has been very low lately, and that may have been a result of trying to keep up with consistent commission openings. But trying to stay accessible, so furs can be guaranteed to get what they want, isn't good for my mental health. After trying so hard to care for others, I need to remember to care for myself. That's something I've been working on lately, and a very important life lesson.

So yeah. While I'll still be drawing personal stuff when I feel like it, I won't be taking commissions for a while. How long? I can't determine an exact time frame, but I predict probably...2 weeks. We'll see. I just need a break, and that's what matters. I'll be able to actually stop and think about how to handle commissions until then.

I hope you guys understand.