I'll always be at IFC and AnthrOhio. Everything else is unknown.

Just a heads-up that I'll be leaving Tumblr in advance of their ban on adult content. If there's stuff on my blog that you want to save, grab it now.

Update: Aaand it's gone.

I wanted to record me reading Lawrence Ferlinghetti's classic Beat poem "Christ Climbed Down" but my ancient computer will not cooperate, so here is the text instead.

https://thevalueofsparrows.com/2015.....-ferlinghetti/

I joined Singsnap, the online karaoke site, and I'm having a lot of fun with it. Here's my profile page if ya wanna hear a badger caterwaul.

http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/mem.....imstone_badger

Mustard & Ketchup are an adorable, canonically-gay couple of cartoon European badgers who debut in this music video by Belle & Sebastian spin-off band Looper: https://youtu.be/pCiFnljtBbs

It's already been nominated for an award. Citation: https://www.instagram.com/p/BSTsw0A.....-by=mustnketch

Here's their Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/mustnketch/

I am officially on the hype train. Hee.

Dropbox has done away with public folders, so any links to my podcast in previous journals are now broken. A replacement is in the pipe.

I will be at AnthrOhio, and the first day of the con is my 50th birthday, so I'm looking to do something special.

This is my video of the IndyFurCon 2016 fursuit parade.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.

https://youtu.be/TSP1Sm1nmMo

From the podcast notes:

This podcast is dedicated to my late partner, Frank Kirchner. These are all songs I was listening to during or around his illness and death in the fall of 2014. While I've tried to give it some artistic “heft,” it remains at heart a therapeutic exercise. Thank you for listening and I hope you enjoy.

Download: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....isode%2004.mp3
Tracklist: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....0Tracklist.pdf

Previous episodes:

Episode 03: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....isode%2003.mp3
Tracklist: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....0Tracklist.pdf

Episode 02: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....pisode%202.mp3
Tracklist: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....0Tracklist.pdf

Episode 01: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....pisode%201.mp3
Tracklist: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....0Tracklist.pdf

After a much-too-long hiatus, my little podcast is back.

Download: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....isode%2003.mp3
Tracklist: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....0Tracklist.pdf

In case you missed the previous episodes:

Episode 2: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....pisode%202.mp3
Tracklist: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....0Tracklist.pdf

Episode 1: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....pisode%201.mp3
Tracklist: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....0Tracklist.pdf

Enjoy!

Frank passed away last night about 11 PM local time. I woke up about midnight to find a voice mail from the hospital asking me to call right away, and I knew. He will be cremated and there will be an informal memorial celebration TBA.

He'd survived two bouts with cancer and two heart attacks. He was a fighter, but it was time to let go.

He taught me, directly or indirectly, most of what I know about being an adult, including what real-world love is about.

Frank is stable, breathing on his own, resting comfortably, peeing out the water weight he gained in Cardiac Critical nicely. So much so that they want to discharge him to an extended care/rehab facility. I'm going to try & get with his primary care doctor & see if he recommends any of the facilities on this list they gave me to choose from. I'd like to get Frank back into his home healthcare network.

Dare I hope he'll cheat death again?

Frank's brain damage proved far too extensive for him to ever again be capable of anything but suffering. So I gave the order to withdraw life support today and switch to an end-of-life protocol where he will be made as comfortable as possible. I said my goodbyes just in case it was my last chance, then I left the medical people to do their job. It could be minutes, it could be days. But I heard from a friend who visited later that he'd been successfully moved to the palliative-care unit, so he must be breathing on his own for now.

I'll pay him a visit in his new room tomorrow. Tonight I've done little but talk, text and tweet the news to family and friends. Everyone has been very kind and supportive and I appreciate that. What little else I did was largely, finally, have a good cry because I watched this Reading Rainbow episode featuring one of my favorite children's books, Badger's Parting Gifts - http://vimeo.com/6370892 .

...now that FA is back up, I can tell you the news, too.

My partner Frank is in the hospital again, in fact, he's been in a coma for a week. His congestive heart failure flared up, he thought he could get away without going to the hospital for it this time, then his cellulitis got infected and he came down with a fever. Last Friday night he was incoherent and babbling, so I called an ambulance.

It turned out he had sepsis and a fever of 103.8F. His heart stopped in the ER and they gave him CPR for 25 minutes before it started again. Then they put him in a medically-induced coma to get rid of the infection. He hasn't awoken yet, and he should have by Tuesday or Wednesday. If he hasn't by Monday, they're going to try to figure out how much damage his brain sustained. He might be a vegetable.

Needless to say, I'm pretty torn up. And now I have to go through the legal process of petitioning the probate court for medical guardianship because he has no legal next of kin, and even if marriage had been an option for longer than the two days or so before this happened, his medical bills from the past would prohibit it.

I know he does not want the plug pulled under any circumstances. We have had that discussion. He's a fighter, and a stubborn old bear. That got him into this trouble and it will get him out if anything does. I'm more worried now about what's going to happen to the house. I'm liable to lose it without someone to help with the bills. I wouldn't have minded being free of that responsibility, but not like this. I'm not healthy enough to pack everything up and move it on short notice. Besides which I don't even know what all's paid for around here. He bought from Fingerhut all the time.

Anyway, I didn't come here to vent, just to pass on the news to some good friends with whom this is my only real means of contact.

Where are you staying?
Home. I'm a local.

What day are you getting there?
Friday after work.

Who will you be rooming with?
Not applicable.

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Depends on who I run into.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
I'll decide when they happen.

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
Probably. Again, I'll decide when they happen.

Will you be suiting?
No, I don't own a suit. Yet.

Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
Not applicable.

How can I find you?
I'll probably be in the lobby, zoo, or game room.

How old are you?
47.

How tall are you?
5' 11"

Are you taken? Are you looking for a mate?
I'm in an open relationship. Friends with benefits are always welcome.

Can I talk to you?
I guess, depends on the vibe I get from you. Not if you creep me out.

Can I touch you?
If I'm OK with talking to you, I'm probably OK with hugging you.

Can I visit your room?
Not applicable.

Can I buy you drinks?
I don't drink alcohol, but a diet soda or something would be welcome.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
See above regarding hugs. Snuggles? Eh... I probably need to know you pretty well first.

Are you nice?
I like to think I am, but I'm sure some people think I'm stuck up because I can be shy.

How long are you going?
Until Sunday.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just call me: Brimstone, Junkshop, Mitch or Hey Stupid all work.

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Trying to get my lazy butt out of the house to the con.

What/where will you be eating?
Probably whatever fast food's around, whatever's in the con suite, or wherever I end up going with people.

Can I come with you for food/fun etc?
Depends on how well we hit it off.

Can I take your picture?
Absolutely, as long as I've got my clothes on. Otherwise, you better know me good and well.

What’s your goal for the con this year?
Not to have one. Just play by ear and enjoy.

I have gone back and updated the information for my musical submissions that include samples, in accordance with my understanding of FurAffinity's updated Acceptable Upload Policy and its definition of fair use.

Perhaps it will amuse you.

Yes, I finally got off my butt and did another one. Last night I started picking out tracks and it just flowed right out.

Download: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....pisode%202.mp3

Tracklist: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....0Tracklist.pdf

Enjoy!

On my birthday, May 25, I'm going to make some changes in my online life. I will phase out Junkshop Coyote as my main fursona and replace him with Brimstone Badger. I'm not yet sure how this will affect my online accounts, but it's something I want to do.

Junkshop is, on the one hand, painfully Mary Sue in his original form: healer, quasi-immortal, 800 years old, blah blah blah. I'd thought about doing away with that part of his story anyway. On the other, he's also painfully intertwined, especially on Twitter, with my neuroses and how crippling they've become for me.

Badger has strolled into my life as the spirit animal I need to learn from and embody if I want to recover. He complements and balances Coyote. They hunt together in the wild with far greater success than either alone. The more I study him, the surer I am of this.

I don't anticipate making any major changes with who I watch or don't.

He thinks his life's over now he's 30 & his party friends moved on. I felt that way too. Sometimes I still do.

I've had friends die, let alone move away, & I didn't make new ones. I had to let others who got bitter & toxic go. My relationship became based on things we've survived together, not attraction. My possessions became a burden I'd like to lighten. I phone in my job & wonder if I'll be fit to find another if I have to. My body is falling apart & I'm only learning by force how to slow the process.

But I have this vague idea that I, nearly 47, am only just now learning how to live, & the living I've yet to do will make me look back on my 20's with embarrassment. I wish I knew how to pass that idea on. Maybe he'll see this & get it. I hope so.

I gotta hand it to FA... over on Twitter I was dying for some new drama to come along so everyone would shut up about the FA drama? When will I ever learn to be careful what I wish for?! Behold, Justin Fucking Bieber.

Which my watch list on FA has had little or nothing to say about. Thank dog for small mercies.

Meme stolen from  aerofox-.

What made you choose the species of your main fursona?

Ever since I was about 5 years old, I related viscerally to Wile E. Coyote. The older I got & the more I learned about coyote energy, the more appropriate it seemed.

Does your fursona have the same personality you have?

Pretty much, just exaggerated a little.

Does your fursona have the same dislikes and likes as you do?

Basically. He likes old-timey music even more than I do IRL. He likes to drink, and I'm a recovering alcoholic, but I'm thinking about phasing that facet of him out because it's just not that significant.

Does your fursona look like you at all?

LOL, no, I'm not a sexy senior coyote man.

Is your fursona the same gender as you, if not why?

Yes.

Do you have more then one main fursona?

Yes, the other one is Brimstone Badger, who's a work in progress. He came out of an RP that took on a life of its own a few months ago and represents the complementary side of my coyote energy, grounding me with hard work and common sense. Badger and Coyote have a symbiotic relationship in the wild, and so it is with me.

Is your fursona mated, if so is it to your real life significant other?

Junkshop is not mated. Brimstone is mated to  rjtremor.

If not are they looking for a mate?

Junkshop is kind of a loner, but that could change for the right guy.

Is there something special about your fursona that you think sets them apart from others?

Well, he's 75 years old, which is pretty unusual in a world of 20-something characters.

Do you have much art of your main fursona/s?

Everything I have is here in my gallery or scraps. I'd like to have more, but art happens when art happens; I don't like to push the river.

Would you ever consider parting with your main fursona, if so why?

I can't imagine that ever seeming like a good idea. Maybe I'd let him fade into the background, but once a coyote, always a coyote.

If you suit, do you have a suit of your main fursona?

I do not, and I'd be more like to cosplay Junkshop than suit as him. I would like a Brimstone fursuit eventually.

Have you ever roleplayed with your main fursona, or do you prefer not to?

I have and I do, but I'm awfully picky about who with.

Do you consider your main fursona to be a part of you in any way?

Absolutely. He's like my true, inner, higher self.

Fine, I reverted to an older avatar. I thought bird-flipping crazy cat lady was funny - me 30 years and a sex change from now - but I guess you guys didn't agree.

EDIT: Wait, no, better yet... I realized if you reverse the colors on my "minimalist skunk" icon, it makes a perfect minimalist badger. Booya.

New avatar... couldn't resist.

Admins: if it's a problem, let me know & I'll take it down.

 ziderdragon's second Depeche Mode tribute album, A Broken Silence, is out now, and it's free. I was originally going to be on it but I've had a lot of personal and computer problems this year, so it didn't happen. Check it out anyway, this guy's goooooood.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5366877/

I did a thing I've wanted to do for a while. Mix set, podcast, whatever. Just doing what I love to do and spinning some tunes.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....pisode%201.mp3

Tracklist: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....0Tracklist.pdf