Pretty much the gist of it. Spent two weeks dragging my feet in a nihilistic funk, and then had a day of frenetic activity trying to do home maintenance stuff AND a family medical scare in the same day. Have spent about the last week recovering from that, because I'm a lot older than I used to be and things that took a couple days to recover from decades ago now annoyingly take a week. Will probably still take it somewhat easy today so I don't simply re-injure myself, as I have often been prone to doing, but thankfully 'drawing smut' isn't as physically demanding as every other job I've ever had so I should be able to throw myself back into that tomorrow or so and get caught back up, again, hopefully. 8V

Apologies as ever for the delays; sorry folks, my biology just isn't always quite up to the task. 8V

Edit 2025 11 18: Go figure I was also not ready to leap back in the first day the issue started to calm, but I am starting to feel close to normal now, so hopefully I will be able to resume within a day. Just to reassure, since the questions have come up, the family medical scare turned out okay (and if anything they appear to have recovered quicker than I have, ha), and my own aches and pains are just some pulled or strained muscles from wrestling with some doorframes and minor home demo...which, naturally, isn't finished yet, but the worst of it's been dealt with so once I have work sorted out again I should be able to finish that with slightly less 'shuffling around with a ghoul's posture' for a week. 8V

brain not cooperating, apologies for delays. hopefully next week will be better

This is as much to organize my own thoughts as it is to publicly communicate, so feel free to ignore this one if you're simply waiting on fresh work. The short version is: next week, hopefully.

Sinuses doing weird shit again, so I get to be grouchy while not working for the afternoon (if this happens a third time this year, I will explore the anti-histamine options recommended to me the last time this came up, but if it's a relatively isolated couple of incidents I don't mind putting up with inflammation on the outside chance it will help the underlying issue to pass faster). None the less, I'm three or four good days of work out from having the commission queue briefly buttoned up, so I think I'll still be on-target for doing other things this month even if I'm a week or two off my original projection.

I've been having too many ideas bouncing around in my head and too much WIP stuff sitting off to the side to do a proper priority list until I have the free time in front of me, but in terms of bang-for-buck on amount of content going out, I intend to start with a new round of commission round-up uploads. That should be the most time-efficient way of getting...idk, a few hundred images out there with various topics/themes, and should hopefully only take a couple days to actually organize. From there, I might free-style some work and/or collate some of the massive decrepit sketchpile sitting in my digital work archive to get those uploaded. Other things to investigate include setting up a Ko-Fi (I don't actually expect this to see MUCH use, given how the Sellfy archive already works, but I figure it's better to have the option out there), and possibly reluctantly advertising that I do have a bluesky account as a backup contact point, even if I've basically used it for nothing other than occasionally browsing porn, lol. I would like to remain mostly social-media free, having seen what too much of it does to peoples' brains.

Finally, I think the plan will be to do another lap of the commission queue in late October/early November, after which I intend to investigate having some kind of limited expansion of my commissions system. The specifics are not yet set in stone, and unfortunately simply due to me having limited time to work with there probably won't be space for adding more repeating slots to my current commission queue, but I plan to do SOMETHING if I can to address the availability of my work given the number of people who have expressed interest in commissions. I'm already making some changes to my workflow to try and facilitate this.

Alright that's all for now, my apologies to the couple of people who were hoping for work today. Will try to get back into it tomorrow.

Work continues, and will hopefully continue to go smoothly in spite of some distractions. However there is the possibility that local weather conditions will intervene as well, at this point, so I do ask some patience if that should happen.

It is frustrating to constantly feel as though I'm running in place on a treadmill, so hopefully things will go smoothly, but uh I will simply say for the moment that is a LOT of snow out there lol

Had to go and open my big mouth, didn't I? After a bout of Traditional Holiday Food Poisoning, I have been dealing with an ever so slight case of Traditional Holiday Malaise/Seasonal-Affective-Disorder/Whatever. Losing a week of work isn't going to stop me from staying current on commissions, nor should it completely prevent me from entertaining more side project work. It is, however, damned inconvenient for all those plans, and will slow things down a bit further. I'll just have to see what I can do to squeeze in some extra work hours here and there to see if I can't get a bit more out the door and keep things better on track, provided I can lurch back into rhythm this week.

something something definition of insanity and all that, but there are times when repetition is the only option. Try, try again. On the bright side, this isn't the worst December nor the worst depression nor the worst bout of foodborne illness I've ever suffered, so I can speak from experience that things could be so, SO much worse, ha. Here's hoping all your holidays have been going a bit smoother than all that!

Apologies for the slow message responses, had some more sleep problems. Should be rolling again in a day or so hopefully.

So, same ol' same ol' with another work delay the last couple of days, but otherwise the month has been going quite productively. Had some notable slumps in the last few months between stress, sleep problems, and dental work, but for the most part things have been fully on-track the last couple of weeks. Apologies for these little hiccups still occurring, but if we've spoken in the last two or three days about work, rest assured that it should be happening by next week.

Hopefully, as long as there's no further derailment, commissions should be largely caught up by the end of the month, and, once again, as I've planned on and expected multiple times this year hopefully without cursing it by saying this, it will finally be time for Other Art Stuff to start occurring.

There are still a few commissions in the 'waiting to be paid' category of things, but those are not an immediate concern; as I've stated, it's tough out there, and I can afford to be patient. It's not like I'm known for my own punctuality, at any rate. 8V

Stay safe out there, and hopefully, there will be more stuff Soon, sooner now than ever before 8V

An auspicious day for it, I suddenly realize.

Nothing much to say here; slow week from sleep problems, mostly, otherwise plans remain the same as last month. Try to get my schedule in working order, pile through commissions, start getting other things back on the burners. Thanks once again for everyone's patience, the hiccups have made this year far less productive than I'd hoped, but maybe I can get things back on the rails for these last few months. 8V

Various problems and distractions MOSTLY dealt with. Nearly back up to speed now, should hopefully remain productive through the rest of the year. Obviously I'm a little hesitant to make any promises, given the rate of such issues in the past, but here's hoping. 8V

Working through a bit of disorganization that built up in the queue at the moment, but should have that flowing freely again by the end of the month, side projects resumed, and all the other good stuff that was planned for, like, six months ago. Pfew.

Hell of a time for it, in retrospect. RIP 'Neer.



Addendum 2024 08 28:

Had to open my big mouth, but thankfully work HAS been going well, and the present issues should be minor; just a slow week from the heatwave and having to get something taken care of. Really want to both have the queue fully caught up next month and some more side work released, and while I'm slightly behind at the moment from the original plan, that's still looking on-track.

Work has been going pretty well overall this year, but there's always a catch, it seems like. Thanks to everyone having patience with me over the last month or so, while I try to get a small medical thing sorted out. This, of course, has once again been a major roadblock for work, but I hope to have it mostly resolved soon so I can resume the more rapid pace I'd been setting earlier. Apologies for the inconvenience, it has been a notable source of irritation for me, personally.

Work went pretty well for most of the month, but I have to apologize to folks who were expecting work the last few days; another round of sleep disruption has been seriously impeding me. Need to try and get this cleared up by the end of the month so I can get back on pace. Drives me a bit mad because I've got too much shit to do to be dealing with this, but I can't really focus on drawing in this state, so not much I can do until I have it back under control.

Pursuant to sticking my foot in my mouth, as I have a talent for doing, additional complications have arisen. Work may be slow to non-existent for another week or two.

Can't really get into detail, not my story to tell, but February still had a couple of low blows left and after a household tragedy things were a bit scattered here for some time.

Work has resumed, at least, and have been keeping good pace on it, so there's that at least. Otherwise things are presently more or less as before; probably about two to three weeks behind original estimate, so the first half of March is going to be spent on getting back to where needed on commissions, I think. Will probably start to release a new round of commission folios and/or other projects starting sometime in April. That's about the gist of it I suppose.

February started off a bit poorly, so while work has been decent the last week or so, I'm still about two weeks behind where I intended. Not exactly a new problem, but I'll gladly take two weeks behind schedule instead of multiple months behind schedule.

With that in mind, commissions and related work will likely proceed through much of March. Plans are otherwise much the same and I hope to catch up on things and make this a much more productive year overall.

Had sleep problems the last couple days, and still kinda tired and unenergetic at the moment, but hopefully that's mostly resolved. If nothing else I need to get working again so I can, like, buy groceries and stuff. 8V If I've given you any kind of estimate on work schedule the last week or so, then you may need to append a couple days, but as long as things get rolling again tonight or tomorrow that should be all it takes.

As for January, in spite of several interruptions it was a very productive month. I'm still not quite where I wanted to be on the commission queue yet. I need to try and make another full pass of the active queue in the first half of February, but if I can get back to the pace of January that shouldn't be an issue. This is provided there's no more multi-day dalliances of appointments one after the next or I don't have to assemble and disassemble and reassemble office chairs another half-dozen times or I don't fail to sleep for most of two days two different times again. 8V

Even if commission stuff is largely handled in February, there probably won't be a lot of project work to speak of until March, for reasons. I don't want to put horses before carts, so I'll leave it at that, but it will become apparent why if I'm able to stay on top of things.

So as it stands, February is mostly ear-marked for commissions right now, but that should open up March to a lot of side projects, although some of those would likely not release until April. April is also when I plan to review commission folders for uploads, so that may prove a busy month for Sellfy uploads if everything goes smoothly.


Given my consistent inconsistency, it's probably a bit ambitious to try and plan things out three months in advance as far as the work calendar, but that is things as they stand, and that is the plan such as it is. Here's to hoping for relatively few disasters and relatively little insomnia or mental health issues. I mean, like, for the work schedule, but also just in general, I suppose.

Back at work, have been making progress; if things go well I might actually catch up on commissions again, wouldn't that be wild?

Wanted to quickly shout out the folks picking up things on the Sellfy shop; I've noticed an uptick in sales this month, and I'm very grateful, it has helped keep me afloat during the time of year when payments are otherwise often delayed due to holiday things occurring. This is ESPECIALLY relevant today, as my scanner has finally decided to develop a whine and a burnt-out light or sensor after a (pretty impressive!) three year run, and I'm having to rush-ship a replacement to keep work going.

So I guess I'll be taking a forced break from commissions for a couple of days on top of my usual days off. Might spend some of the time working on other projects/folios. As long as the replacement isn't delayed, I'll be back on the work trail in a day or two, and will resume trying to get through the whole queue by the end of the month. I'm not a big holidays person, so I don't mind the work schedule, but for everyone who is, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and have fun out there safely, ya gits 8V

Also, personal bugbear, covid's been on an upswing, so for the sake of the vulnerable people in your orbit (and staying healthy so you can enjoy the celebrations), please do mask up when out and about. I know most people have made up their mind on this topic one way or the other at this point, but please consider this a gentle nudge in the direction of not risking cardiovascular damage this holiday season. 8V


Addendum 12/22: Scanner did arrive yesterday, work has resumed.

Had to deal with An Event earlier in the week, still trying to get my sleep schedule back on rails. Hopefully will be back to the cool, productive, drawing-lots-of-porn side of things soonish

Addendum 2023 11 02: Currently still very, very tired. Apologies to commissioners for delays, but it may still be a couple of days if this fatigue doesn't resolve

Had been doing well earlier in the month, but have been stalled most of the last week or so. Some work may be delayed as a result. Hope to have this resolved before too long, but admittedly a little disappointed with it. Mental health be that way sometimes, I reckon.

Trying to keep myself honest here and give myself one more little shove to the current finish line. Currently about two weeks behind on plans for the month; this comes off of a slow start from doldrums at the end of last month, and was exacerbated further by sleep problems and gut issues at a few points. All the usual. All that said, I AM still just two commission deliveries from where I plan to take a short break for project work, so HOPEFULLY that will be starting this week, and that'll hopefully result in at least two projects being released over the two to three weeks after that. That all depends on me working steadily, which has been a bit of a crapshoot the last few years, but here's to trying!

Ah, and finally, since I'm standing tall on my crappy little soapbox regardless, a gentle reminder to try and practice empathy and kindness where you can. Under the surface, a lot of things are splintering and falling apart, and with a bit of compassion or patience, doing a favor for a neighbor or a stranger, maybe the friend you'll ultimately end up helping is yourself.

shit's still gonna be all fucked up and stuff, of course, but you know, try to be nice where you can

E: 2023 08 22:
Mood's still been a little erratic, been a little too chatty and a little too stressed, but still making progress. One more commission before project break, if I can manage it.

E: 2023 08 26:
Theoretically on project break now. Had hoped to be off to the races, but recovering from stuff at the moment still, it seems. 8P

Despite all the delays and inconveniences of this month, I think I'm on pace to have commission stuff mostly handled this coming week. Should that be the case, I think I'll take a significant chunk of August to just focus on folios/project work. Been glad that I've been managing work in spite of the issues, but some days I think I'm also starting to feel my age. Don't quite have the energy for some things I maybe used to.

E: 2023 08 03

blahhhhh productive output has remained pretty lame over the past few days, still trying to work it out. In theory there's just five more commission deliveries that remain before devoting the rest of the month to project work.

Had been really struggling to do commissions over the last day, was getting frustrated...then found an infected splinter in my thumb in the shower that had probably not been helping that I had somehow not physically perceived despite being swollen and painful

bodies/brains are weird

Getting a little frustrated, as GI issues and brain problems have cost me a few workdays again, but the mythical two-month commission queue window is still in sight. Hopefully I can finally get that buttoned up next week and get some other work done after.

Feel like a broken record, but idk, maybe sometimes in the face of nonsense perseverance is the only adaptive option.

Addendum to last entry, had severe sleep issues the last couple of days. More delays, as usual, blah blah blah. Feh. 8T

Still about. Work is getting completed, though still not yet at a desirable pace. Had a couple days off from physical issues, then mental health hasn't been ideal the last couple of days, particularly with a repetitious issue of nightmares waking me from sleep. Not doing terrible, honestly, but obviously not getting work out at a good pace either. Plan this month is to get a loop done on the commission queue (ideally within about a week, but that depends heavily on whether I can get moving properly tomorrow like I want to and maintain that pace), before hopefully getting more project work done.

Still facing obvious, facile dilemmas of time management with the project work, greatly exasperated by my at-times-rather-extreme episodes of depression, but I think I know the math on things, so to speak. These issues aren't insurmountable, but they do require me to overcome periodic and sometimes intense bouts of sadness, self-loathing, or nihilistic apathy. I may be functionally immune to self-harm, but being a sessile miserable lump for days at a time isn't terribly productive or helpful either. So, still a work in progress, I guess.

For much of my life, I was vastly stubborn and pushed myself through situations on force of sheer plodding momentum. But a lot of those efforts didn't really pan out, and now I'm older, and my joints hurt more, and material conditions in the world have uhhhhh maybe not improved as one might hope, to put it extraordinarily delicately. I think I'll be okay, and I do still hope to be able to share lots more work for you all to enjoy, but there are days when I'm really not as confident in that as I'd like, ha. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, and the next day, and the next.

Not a great month. Will have to try for a better April. Commissions should resume soonish as well.