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Bugging me, nowhere else to really post.
General | Posted 2 years agoI've been dramatic in the past and I'm out of touch, so this might be in of itself dramatic.
But it's been bugging me all day and it feels so empty to merely write this where someone will never see it.
Anyways: it was a dream.
I was back at the house which was lost. It was my birthday. People were there to celebrate. But... I couldn't get out of bed. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't wake up within the dream to participate. People didn't stay by my bed, they just continued without me.
It's not even that I was being ignored that was the issue I'm having at this moment: it was that people were there supposedly for me and then me not being up to it is treated as "fine" and that my condition is irrelevant. To me, it's that I don't matter.
I tried screaming in anguish a few times, but I'm usually unable to scream in dreams: I need to contract the muscles in my throat a certain way and I'm more or less unable to, so I just breath out.
Anyways yeah. I don't really have nightmares: mostly it's just dreams that feature/cause existential pain like this one. I don't know if these count as stress dreams or not.
But it's been bugging me all day and it feels so empty to merely write this where someone will never see it.
Anyways: it was a dream.
I was back at the house which was lost. It was my birthday. People were there to celebrate. But... I couldn't get out of bed. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't wake up within the dream to participate. People didn't stay by my bed, they just continued without me.
It's not even that I was being ignored that was the issue I'm having at this moment: it was that people were there supposedly for me and then me not being up to it is treated as "fine" and that my condition is irrelevant. To me, it's that I don't matter.
I tried screaming in anguish a few times, but I'm usually unable to scream in dreams: I need to contract the muscles in my throat a certain way and I'm more or less unable to, so I just breath out.
Anyways yeah. I don't really have nightmares: mostly it's just dreams that feature/cause existential pain like this one. I don't know if these count as stress dreams or not.
