Is there a song that always gets you? Like, be it a happy reaction, or one that makes your cry, or anything. Is there one song that always manages to hit a cord with you? Comment below if there is.



Contest Winners
 friendlywolf Almost finished
 Lil-ronnie 5 page story
https://the-gij.deviantart.com/ wanted a bust of a friend's character as a gift
 babykitty_sierra wanted a simple funny picture of their character fumbling with adult clothing that was obvious far too large for them
https://drskytower.deviantart.com/ Whose getting a 5 page comedy story of her character Lazarus fighting the mutant hive minded monster known as 343 Studios
https://Half-Dude.deviantart.com/ wanted a 2 page story of the yellow car from the haunting yet highly memorable junkyard scene from Brave Little Toaster!
https://cherry-spot.deviantart.com/ wanted a bust of their wonderfully named Sam-A-Lamb character https://cherry-spot.deviantart.com/.....ence-686590898
And last but by no means least is the ever amazing https://kamellion.deviantart.com/ who wants a bust of her incredible dragon character, King Mel. Seriously, she's awesome, go check her out!

Personal Projects

Finish the now late Birthday picture
Upload Commission of Captain Tanner
Upload teaser of Infinity Quest first chapter
Leading role in a play at High Point on April 7th
Upload Ref Sheet for Phil the Mercenary
Finish Surprise picture for  TheCoyoteFeather
Finish Infinity Quest by mid April
Continue Youtube Diet vlogs

Oh bless my soul, it turns out that tagging is still a thing and the ever enjoyable https://illusses.deviantart.com/ has done just that to me! lol so it appears I have some questions to answer and people to tag!

Rules are as follows:

You have to post all of the rules.
Answer all the questions, and then create 12 more.
Choose 12 people to tag when you are finished.
Legitimately tag people.
You can’t say you don’t do tags, you have to tag 12 people.
Tag backs are allowed.
Put who tagged you in this post under the new questions you typed (Or on top of journal I guess).
Then put "New Questions" and put your icon behind the questions you asked.




1. Are you an introvert, extrovert or ambivert?
The exceptional irony is that I'm an extrovert who, by necessity of my work at being an author and working on my book, is forced into living the life more or less of a recluse to get my novel done. lol though I enjoy the company of people

2. Do you prefer sunny days or rainy days?
A good question. Honestly it depends on my mood, though in general I love rainy days visually. But again, I enjoy being outside and not getting soaked. I frequently take walks, work on projects, and take time whenever I can to remind myself there's more to life than a computer screen. lol so I say I'll meet in the middle and say cloudy days

3. If you found Genie, what would you wish for?
Ah, now you see, this question has to dip into my philosophical beliefs for my reasoning. The "practical" thing to do would be to wish for more wishes, more genies, or the ability to warp and manipulate reality so you could have infinite wishes, however, I have to defer to my core belief that all of life, existence, and being is a result of the careful planning of a just and loving God. It is not my place to know of it, of him without need of faith, or as a mortal to assume that in any way I could do better. It would be incredible to have the power to wish for anything and create based on my own desires and designs, but since I am not God, I could only inherently lessen the substance of life by attempting to impose my will upon it. So I would have to inform the Genie that I could make no wish, and leave by nature of it not being my place nor not having the arrogance to challenge the designs of my creator: for better or worse.

4. Would you sleep for one night in a haunted mansion for a million dollar??
lol I've managed to go directly to bed after having two monster energies; I'd sleep in a haunted mansion for a nilla wafer!

5. Which came first, chicken or egg?
Chicken, for whom else could nestle the helpless egg within the crease of their poultry patooty and embrace it with the feathery warmth it needs to hatch?

6. Have you ever had serious depression before?
Now, but I do go through rapidly on-set manic depressive spells every now and again. But them come and go. In most cases, I find that I have that power unto myself to choose how much I think about something or if I focus on the good or the bad. Do I CHOOSE to wake up in the morning and carry with me into the next day the problems of the old? Will I DECIDE to take something personally today that I've experienced only by proxy? It usually helps keep things in order ^^ Well, that and having the speech making skills of Captain Kirk :p

7. What's your dream place for vacation? (Anywhere you can think of~)
Anywhere I can think of... lol I can think of a lot of places! Though my problem is I have a very difficult time deciding to stop working. I usually busy myself in whatever way I can relevant to the situation I'm in, but that said, I think I'd want to take a cruise and just explore old ruins of castles and spend a week or two at some kind of hard core Renaissance Fair where they have authentic lodging, food, and everyone is just super committed to the roles; no casual clothes, electronics, or anything like that for just a week and just relax in the tranquility. lol if Fictional sites count, I'd either pick the incredible world of  valsalia 's unique Yinglet setting, or Star Wars original universe (you know, before Disney ruined it ;D ) Though that said, the fictional thing would just lead me back into the Genie dilemma

8. Are you into romance anime/ manga / comics/ movies?
I am not.

9. What's one of the things that you regret not doing?
Managing my time better so that I can spend more of it with the people I care about while working on my projects.

10. Can you ride horses?
lol yes but not all that well. I was born in Pennsylvania originally so that's kind of prerequisite for me!

11. If you had the chance to eat a devil fruit, what ability would you want it to be?
BEGONE SATAN!! lol back to the Genie topic, I couldn't. If I was in that setting, I'd have to be like the Brock Lee of the universe and just train really hard to make up for it.

12. Which is your favourite artist? :3
Without a doubt, in painting, it has to be Syd Mead!


And just like that, we're done! Now I have to tag people! lol now let me see, I would like to tag  valsalia but his arm needs to recover and the last thing he needs is to be entertaining my tomfoolery with all this tagging nonsense. I'll tag....
lol I'll break the rules and leave it open to whoever wishes to take this. But my questions will be



1. Star Trek or Star Wars?

2.What's your favorite color?

3. How did we meet?

4. What's your favorite species?

5. What is one way you'd improve yourself?

6. If you were King/President/ect, what would you do with your newfound authority?

7. What's your favorite fictional universe?

8. What's the hardest thing you find to do in life?

9. What was your dream as a child?

10. If you could go or be anywhere, where would you go?

11. How do you handle people who disagree with you?

12. Would you want to be immortal?

Thankfully this week wasn't as bad as the one awhile ago when my Pap passed away, but it's been quite the interesting one for sure. As always, I've been trying to keep busy and using my time as effectively as I can. I've been dieting in preparation for August. I'm down from 250 to 238/237 and showing no ill effects yet! I've been keeping track of that all over on my youtube, which can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheApprentice225/videos?view_as=subscriber
Eventually I'll have to make a playlist for them. But I'm happy with how this is going so far.

Then I had one of the most crushing scares of my life. I'm sure you're all probably getting sick of me mentioning it, but it involves that novel I've been working the last 13 years of my life on. It is literally my life's work and means the absolute world to me. I kept it stored on the Flashdrive I have all my old Halo fanfictions and other writing projects on, which in the past has only damaged one file once; and I was pretty sure was my fault. The file had been opened all afternoon, but when I closed it to get over on my other laptop to use its superior power to talk with friends, the unthinkable happened. The file was so badly corrupted that neither computer could open it. My Backup copy was 3 years outdated and so much of it was irreplaceable. Several of my friends got their most tech savvy friends together in a sort of special forces team and tried through the night to get it back. I was up til 5am until all hope was exhausted. I was devastated and numb all of yesterday as I came to grips with the fact that all of my hopes, all of my dreams, and the sum of what's basically my life's work was stolen from me. I have a crippling fear that Infinity Quest will be panned, or disliked, or that somehow I'll fail. But none of that compares with the feeling of having it stolen from me before I can either succeed or fail on my own merit. It wasn't until mid afternoon that  colby-hedgey in her determination to help asked for the file and managed to crack into it by converting it into an XML. The file was still chewed up, but all the raw text is still there. I'm going back in and adding the Bolds, Italics, different fonts, paragraphs, and spaces back in, but I'm grateful for her help. Hedge, for all intents and purposes saved my life yesterday; and I will never forget that.

Then to top things off, I had a development with an old old Star Trek group I used to do a lot of work in as the co-founder over on DA. We originally set it up as a roleplaying group and I was still rather young and made missteps of course, but as time went on, we had a bit of fun and made some good memories. However, the rp died off as people left and those mistakes came back to haunt me. For a time I was a bit spiteful over it I'll admit, and even recently considered leaving the group. I wrote a journal on the group which can be seen here: https://star-trek-freedom.deviantart.com/journal/Real-talk-737276143
And very shortly after writing that, the original founder stepped down and gave me control of the group as the Founder. The thing I put so much work into, the first forum/group rp I ever did, now laying near death, was mine. I had been thinking about leaving and letting it rest. Having it finally be mine is a rather surreal experience. I honestly don't know how to feel. If anyone's interested, I'd be more than alright with trying to reboot the old group and see if I couldn't do things right this time, but then another part of me wonders if I shouldn't just let this sleeping giant slip softly into the sea of memories where it has already been for a number of years. This will wholly be on general interest, so we'll see how things go.

Contest Winners

And I've not forgotten about you guys! I've two contests I need to catch up on before things can get any crazier on me. From the Raffle held of Fur Affinity 5 Months ago we have...

 friendlywolf is getting a full scene with their partner which I aim to have done by Tuesday
 Lil-ronnie wants a 5 page story of his character, which I have in mind
And my sister https://the-gij.deviantart.com/ wanted a bust of a friend's character as a gift

The recent Deviant Art raffle winners were...
 babykitty_sierra wanted a simple funny picture of their character fumbling with adult clothing that was obvious far too large for them
https://drskytower.deviantart.com/ Whose getting a 5 page comedy story of her character Lazarus fighting the mutant hive minded monster known as 343 Studios
https://Half-Dude.deviantart.com/ wanted a 2 page story of the yellow car from the haunting yet highly memorable junkyard scene from Brave Little Toaster!
https://cherry-spot.deviantart.com/ wanted a bust of their wonderfully named Sam-A-Lamb character https://cherry-spot.deviantart.com/art/Sam-Reference-686590898
And last but by no means least is the ever amazing https://kamellion.deviantart.com/ who wants a bust of her incredible dragon character, King Mel. Seriously, she's awesome, go check her out!

Personal Projects

Upload Commission of Captain Tanner
Upload teaser of Infinity Quest first chapter
Leading role in a play at High Point on April 7th
Upload Ref Sheet for Phil the Mercenary
Finish Surprise picture for  TheCoyoteFeather
Finish Infinity Quest by mid April
Continue Youtube Diet vlogs

Before I get into this, REMINDER TO THE RAFFLE WINNERS YOU HAVE UNTIL SUNDAY TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT AS YOUR PRIZE, OTHERWISE YOUR PRIZE IS NULL IN VOID. PLEASE, GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS YOU CAN! THE DEADLINE IS SUNDAY!

So, my day started with a rather solid punch to the gut and I've been thinking about this all morning. I know for the most part when it comes to my personal issues and private life I try to keep that stuff from the internet. I try to keep my business, my business, because I don't want to lay my burden on anyone else. But at the same time, I know my friend constantly tell me that I need to be more open with them when I'm in a state. I'm not typing this because I'm looking for pity or anything, you don't have to try to console me or stress about this. I'm just trying to be as transparent as I can with everybody whose given me the time of day to actually watch me and hang around. I guess I'm just typing for the sake of going over this in my own mind and trying to process this.

I think my grandfather is going to die. I got a call from my grandmother today asking me to have mom call her because Pap was in the hospital and they didn't think he was going to make it past today. She held herself together until we were saying our goodbyes, but I could hear in her voice that she was distraught. There is no one sweeter on this Earth than my grandma. The woman is a saint and an absolute joy to be around, and over the past few years as Pap's mind went, she never once faltered in her vows to love him and be by his side, then out of the blue, he's in a hospital dying; and after the fire claimed her house it's pretty much just been her and her little dog Dee Dee. She's all the way in Pennsylvania and I''m down here in Florida, unable to do anything to try to console her other than just be words on a phone. I don't even know what to say. What can I say? What on earth could I possibly say, what insight could I offer someone whose lived that long, seen that much, and is losing someone they've loved for more years than I've even been on this earth? How do I console my own mother, when she's about to lose her dad? I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is going to hit her. When mom lost her dog Sarah, it devastated her. Years later, she STILL aches from that loss. There is no way I could even speculate what this is going to do to her; and the Sarah thing was hard enough then. I had to be everybody's rock because mom had come unglued. I couldn't let myself feel anything, I had to stay optimistic, and I could only try in vein to make everyone feel better. I had to be a snowman for about a week, because without that little bit of hope, she'd have lost it. But this is on a whole different level!! I don't even know if I should say anything. I don't feel like it's even my place to butt my nose into this. This is her dad, and Grandma's husband! They just had their 58th wedding Anniversary this Tuesday.

I really don't know what to think about all of this or how I should proceed. Of course I knew this day would come, all things are finite, but this is a lot to process and I don't know what to do. I feel sad, I feel hollow, and I'm torn between trying to rise up and be everybody's shoulder to cry on, or to keep my mouth shut and give a daughter and a wife their time to mourn what is seeming to be a rapidly approaching mortality of a man that's been in their lives for decades.




ACTIVE PROJECTS

Commission for https://altairsky.deviantart.com/
Commission for  Nicholai_Gaul
FA Raffle: 2 pictures, 1 story
DA Raffle: Awaiting final contestants
Personal works: endless

HELLO AND WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY! Sorry for the delay in this. My main laptop's power cord crapped out yesterday so I've sort of been trying to sort that out while I wait for the replacement to arrive. So until further notice I'm on my backup Laptop. It stinks that I won't be able to access some of my files that I forgot to put on my flashdrive, but I'll manage! lol and no I can't turn on my laptop without the cord, that battery is so old it could vote. ANYWAY! On to the winners! Since I got more watchers in that time, (not the goal, but a decent amount), I decided to pick five winners! All prizes have to meet my upload standards and PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ALL WINNERS HAVE UNTIL THE END OF THE WEEK TO CLAIM THEIR PRIZE VIA COMMENT OR THEIR GIFT GOES TO THE PERSON BELOW THEM AND A NEW WINNER WILL BE DRAWN!!!

FIRST PLACE goes to  babykitty_sierra who commented via FA. They get a choice of a full colored drawing or 10 pages of a story of their choosing!

SECOND PLACE goes to my old friend https://drskytower.deviantart.com/ who commented on DA. They win a small single colored character or a 5 page story!!

THIRD PLACE goes to  Half-Dude and gets to pick from a bust or 1 to 2 pages of a story should they want it.

FOURTH PLACE goes to https://cherry-spot.deviantart.com/ who gets a bust or a 1 to 2 page story if they want it.

AND FINALLY IN FIFTH is https://kamellion.deviantart.com/ who will get a bust or a 1 to 2 page story if they want it!

CONGRATS EVERYONE!!

What's shaking Groovy people? I hope the new year is treating you all very well! I've finally gotten to the doctor's and am at last on the mends (lol and meds) to get this sinus infection dealt with. To say I'm slightly annoyed that I've lost near all of January to this blasted sickness would be a minor understatement. BUT, now that I'm back together, I can finally get my work making like the old chariot, and rolling right along!

FIRSTLY! I wanted to get this uploaded ever since December, but we all see how that went. Many of you might remember me mentioning that I was in a play in November, and that I was having it recorded. It pleases me to present to you, AFTER TWO HOURS OF PROCESSING, the playlist of the play I was in called Small Town USA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJkqLME7REc&index=1&list=PLml2t_xl-PlEzaC97K1T86LvCn_QH0L6r It goes off the rails rather quickly, but for what it is, it's still a very fun little experience that might give you some laughs!

Secondly, now that I'm well enough to be able to string more than two sentences together without coughing myself into a stupor, I'd like to announce that I have officially reached 200+ watchers on DeviantArt, a site that I've been on for a goodly number of years and one that will always hold a special place in my heart. In celebration of which, I will be holding a new raffle! Now this goes for my Fur Affinity, Twitter, or DeviantArt; IF YOU ARE A WATCHER OF MINE, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE, YOU CAN ENTER!! I will have three winners and will announce the winners February the 25th to give myself time to complete the FA raffle winners from that drawing that I fell behind on focusing on my novel. Like before I'll offer a full colored drawing or 10 pages of a story of their choosing (pending approval) for first place! Second place will receive a small single colored character or a 5 page story, and third will be a bust or 1 to 2 pages of a story should they want it. IF I get to 300 watchers by the time of the deadline, EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO ENTERS AND DOESN'T PLACE IN THE TOP THREE WILL GET A BUST OR A 5 PAGES STORY If you're interested in entering the raffle, leave a comment below and as always, stay hopeful, love thy neighbor, and have a wonderful night! God bless you all and thank you for being a part of my life!

Well, 2017 has come to a close, and good, bad, or neutral, it's a chapter in my life and a collection of experiences I'd never want to lose. The time I've spent with all of you are the moments that keep me going in life, the art some of you have made for me to surprise me are things I'll cherish forever, and I want it to be known that I love each and every one of you so deeply that I could never hope to reduce it into something so commonplace as words. You're all wonderfully special people with hopes, dreams, and people who love you and I wish you nothing but the best in life with every fiber of my being. These words in this journal come from the deepest places of my heart and I hope that, despite not having much physical weight, you accept them as my gifts to you all.

I'll admit that 2017 has had some ups and downs for me, but at the very least I think it was an overall good year to me. I started it off strong, kinda faltered in the middle, started bringing it back towards the end, and then got sick for the first time in a year and a half yesterday. But if that's the worst I take away from it, that's fine with me. I got the chance to make Christmas a very special one for my family this year. I think the crowning moment was when my father opened the gift I'd gone through great lengths to track down for him, based on one of the only items he had when he was living in the children's home. That moment, I captured on video and uploaded it to my Youtube Channel. Pardon my constant prodding him, but I was almost out of memory on that phone and had seconds of clearance left after filming that video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn9Txh650Kg Sadly, the metaphoric reasoning of it changed because I'd discovered some months ago that despite his trip to the hospital and quitting, dad had gone back to smoking. Hopefully he'll manage to put it down for good in 2018.

For anyone who cares, I'm going to put my New year's resolutions below!

INFINITY QUEST , the first novel in the series I've been fine tuning and working on for what will be 14 years in April, will be completed this year and released hopefully before 2019!
EXERCISE I want to continue working out, harder than I've been in 2017. I'm going to set a goal of being down to 212lbs by August!
ART I'm going to try to get back into swing of releasing a picture a week. Ideally I'd like to get faster at art and maybe get up to a picture every three days? Regardless, my main thing is just releasing more art, doing a few comics I want to do, and trying out digital.
YOUTUBE If I can start doing at least a video every two weeks, I'll be happy. I have some ideas for some series I want to make in the future, but I don't want to over extend myself. So for now, so long as I can upload a video every two weeks, I'll consider that a win.
MY DAD I'm going to make it my goal in life to get him to stop smoking, by whatever means necessary. I will make it my business, to make smoking as hard as possible for him.
CAR I want to try to have Cassandra moving under her own power by the end of the year. That's not to say entirely finished, but if I can get her moving, it'll be that much closer to being time to put her back on the road.
DAILY SCHEDULE I want to make it a habit to wake up at 7 to 7:30 every morning, spend time reading and practicing my violin, work out at least twice, start weekly streams, and be as productive as I can be!

As for everything else, I've not forgotten about the raffle winners of the 200 watcher raffle I had on my FA, but because I wanted to get my novel done those were put on standby. I will be finishing those up by the end of January and uploading them, AND since my DA is close to reaching 200 watchers, I'll be hosting another raffle at that time! IMPORTANT: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU WATCH ME ON FA OR DA, IF YOU WATCH ME, YOU'RE ALLOWED TO ENTER THE RAFFLE!! JUST COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW.

And I think that about covers everything! Here's to hoping that I can make 2018 even greater than 2017, here's to hoping that we all can make out new years resolutions come true, and here's a pretty cool song for those of you who might be entering the new year rather glum that always perks me up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhop5VuLDIQ

Cheers!

Alrighty! So I've been tagged by my friend https://theta-xi.deviantart.com/ in her journal where she gave thirteen facts about herself behind the monitor, lol and tagged me. So here's 13 random facts about me as a person for anyone whose interested. Also, for anyone whose been following the situation with me and my employment, I've worked out more acceptable terms and am still employed for the time being. I'm currently looking into getting a second job so finances aren't an issue any time in the near future.

1. My proper name for those of you who don't know, is Caleb I, Arentz, but I have a slew of nicknames and monikers I go by or have been given by friends ranging from Rufus, Henry, and Tom to Juice, Manic, and lol of course The Apprentice.

2. As far as favorite colors go, I've always loved blue, but like the pack-rat I am, I've been accumulating more and more as time goes on. Dark Navy Blue has always been my number one favorite, but brown, Red, Seafoam, and turquoise are very strong follow ups!

3. By nature, I seem to have a strong affinity for things that are very old and in some way damaged, and will usually gravitate towards them over newer items. I'm not entirely sure why this is, but a prime example would be the other day while on eBay looking for antique alarm clocks. I, of course, was only interested in the old ones, and found one that was around 40 dollars and was sufficiently old and akin to my usual style, however when I came across an equally old one with a rusted bell and needed repaired, I became instantly aware that I was growing fonder of the older and damaged one over the more pristine looking clock. Again, I have no idea why this is; perhaps because on some level I tend to personify things around me to a degree, but I've become increasingly more aware of this as it happens.

4. In my spare time, I'm constantly researching topics and reading or watching a video on a topic that I'm researching which often vary from economics/the gold standard, early history, Dextro and Levo based Amino Acids and Proteins, and Constructed languages, to early structures of the human brain which subscribe to the Triuine model, usually around the Paleo-Mammalian complex. This research has made me rather knowledgeable in a good number of topics which usually has my friends asking me all sorts of questions to challenge that knowledge lol when it comes to politics, I've apparently become my friends' go-to source and have aided in a few college projects for friends recreationally.

5. I have spent three years developing my singular most useless talent, by which I can precisely move my eyebrows to reflect the beat or lead of a song I'm listening to. The reason of this being, I cannot be left alone with my reflection without ending up making very silly faces at myself. Since I have very articulated eyebrows and my screen is very reflective, while I was listening to "Bertha Butt Boogie" by Jimmy Castor, I began on a whim to try to match the funky tune with my brow for reasons even I don't know. The fact I was good at it amused me enough that I continued it with other songs and now have the honor of having the most useless talent imaginable.

6. If I'm alone or consider myself out of earshot, there's a VERY strong chance that if I'm not thinking about some detailed topic, I'm singing. The more secure in the belief that no one's around or can hear me, the louder I'll go. I've always enjoyed singing a great deal, even though I don't think I'm very good at it, and my ex girl friend was very adamant about hanging up on me when I sang and telling me that I made her cringe or wasn't very good. I recall only once her telling me I didn't sound awful, but it's something I enjoy doing and at the very least I think I've gotten better.

7. I fundamentally disagree with the concept of "gray areas" when it comes to morality, and believe the idea to be a mental pitfall. By nature, I am a moral absolutionist. It is my belief that there is only good or bad, only parts where it stops being pleasant or easy to hold a belief, so in order to avoid this, people create this imaginary space to absolve themselves of those bad feelings or hard choices by giving it some special category. There is a difference, in my understanding at least, between good and nice. Being the "Nice" person is an inherently selfish position by which the person is seeking friendship, positive opinion, or avoidance of negative stimulation in their lives which come from being honest to someone. This can either be done because the person is looking for fame, or simply because the person doesn't want to hurt the feelings of another person, but both stem from a selfish desire for their own experiences. A Good person on the other hand, has a genuine concern and caring for the people around them and their concerns come from without rather than within. A Good person will tell their friends a hard truth, or disagree with them, not because they have a desire or fixation on being liked, but instead are concerned with the other's well being and future. This does not mean that a Good person never acts nice, as, trying to be a fair and moral person is precisely what causes a lot of those instances which are described as "nice" which "nice people" mimic. It is for that reason that I try to lead my life as a Good man, even if it means I don't always get to be a nice man.

8. I don't seem to be able to type long periods or productively as long as I have earbuds in. I have no idea why that is, but it just throws me. I'm not sure if it's the same with headphones or not, but it's something worth noting I suppose!

9. I do a lot of intense physical training in my attempt to lose weight. I've become very strict with my diet (despite a few breaks here and there when it involves sweets) going from 265 pounds down to 238. I take cold showers and have trained myself against hot and cold, allowing me to move things in boiling water for a short period and stand without a coat in 46 degree Fahrenheit weather with the use of breath control. Every night before bed I do 100 pushups, and then after ten days straight, I take a break to let my body recover and then go right back to it.

10. I own four small white dogs, one of which is blind, but an absolutely precious little guy who gets along very well despite his impairment. His name is Master Jack and the others are Max, Ozzy, and Priscilla.

11. While my eccentric and spastic online antics may seem like a persona of sorts, rest assured that I'm equally eccentric offline. While occasionally I enjoy wearing a simple T-shirt, some jeans, and my leather jacket, I usually favor my tweed suit jacket and a wide variety of Timelord-worthy outfits that usually rest between two and three piece suits.

12. While it might not be in line with the modern fashion, I am a devout Republican, even though the people who represent my party seem to lack an understanding of that that means, and Reform Baptist Christian.

13. lol okay, this one might be kind of a lame one, but outside of Chris Foss, Syd Mead, and Robert Cobb, one of my all-time favorite artists is my sister  spazzfur

Someone once told me when you reach the age of the day of your birthday (I'm 25 and was born on the 25th), that's your "golden year." Well, my golden year seems to be set on going out by kicking me in the teeth. Don't get me wrong, I don't tend to whine or complain much. There's been loads of good in the year too, but it seems 2017 is trying to end on a sour note for me.

Now normally I try to keep personal things personal and internet things are left on the internet. I don't go to people with my woes unless I feel I desperately need someone else's insight, and I try to be a good friend and keep people's business confidential when they come to me with their problems. When I see an issue, I don't want to make a fuss over it, I look for a way to solve it and move past it. But I know I've been asked in the past to be more open with you guys, my watchers, so I guess I'll try some of that now and see how it sticks.

As far as good news goes, I've gone down from 265 pounds to 238 on a good day and around 240/45 throughout the majority of the rest of the time. I've got my car hauled to my yard and have diligently been in the process of restoring her. I feel like I've grown a bit in my art and feel blessed to have reached 200 watchers on my FA and nearly that on DA. The fact so many people and willing to give me the time of day flatters me so deeply I could never put it into words. I love each and every one of you! It's been stressful, but I've also been trying to finish up my novel by the end of the year and finally release the sum of the majority of my life's work. I've been making it a habit to do 100 push ups a day, wash my face daily, shave more often so I don't feel like an unkempt lump of crap, and I must confess brush my teeth more often as I don't do it as often as I should.

All that said, there's been a few hiccups here and there too. Somewhere towards the beginning of the year I started losing my hair as I noticed my widow's peak getting slightly more prominent. I was really embarrassed about that and felt kinda crumby that I was overweight, lived at home, AND now on top of it was going bald. But in life, I don't really see problems; simply challenges that I wasn't told the rules to that I need to figure out. Some Castor Oil and Coconut oil once a night has actually helped fill in the peak a bit. My hair is still noticeably thinner up front, but for now I've at least stalemated it. I've heard that onion oil is supposed to work like magic, but if it comes down to it I'll just swallow my pride and go the Rogaine route. That's kinda been why I've been tentatively holding back from doing anything on youtube.

The REAL kick to the face however has been with work and brings me to the reason why I started writing this journal as I'd kinda welcome the feedback and advice of some of you guys as effectively I'm unemployed. I've not been in the workforce a long time. There haven't been many openings in my area and counting this one, I've only had two. That's past tense as of today however, I've "HAD" two jobs. It turns out that I'd been getting written off as an expense instead of an employee and eventually someone figured that out and my Boss got in trouble and needed to change some things. I was told I needed to sign some papers and I was going to be taxed at the end of the year from here on out. Okay? I thought to myself that it was a little odd but whatever! If that's what I needed to do to keep being a part of the team, so be it! However, tonight when I got the papers, I read that I was being branded as a "private contractor". Looking into that, that means NOT ONLY would I have to pay tax at the end of this year for the gross total of EVERYTHING I've made since January, I'd also need to buy some kind of tax number to be this Private Business/Contract Janitor. I'm thinking to myself "WHAT!? It was my understanding that you were EMPLOYING ME! I can't pay that kind of money for what little I'm being paid! I'm not a contractor! You give me the cleaning supplies, I clean your office, you give me 10 dollars an hour for what I've been in there. Open and Shut." Signing these papers is not an option, I can't pay that kind of money! So I guess effectively I'm being pushed out of my job. I'll spare you the other details of the drama in the work regarding this one lady who keeps trying to do my job, but this has come as kind of a blind side. Thank God I already did my Christmas shopping for everyone this year!

But this means I need to find another job FAST if I'm going to pull together the money to go to Megaplex 2018, if I'm going to have any money to work on my car and get that running in a timely manner, and pick up my violin from the shop that needs the other half of its payment. Not to mention recovering from Christmas shopping. But without this job, I'm not going to be able to do that OR get the lenses for my glasses or a new vision test.

Whenever I talk, I've researched what I say, I've studied the topic, I've looked at the arguments for and against, and then I consider my position based on how I view the issue when measured against my core beliefs. I avoid doing things I view as wrong, I avoid lying as much as I can, and I do not compromise myself for personal comfort on issues of principle. I know I'm not perfect, God only knows I could be a better man! But I work every day to make myself better just so that I can see at the end of my life how good I can possibly be! I LOATHE feeling stupid and it annoys me awfully that I've been so wholly blindsided by all of this. Obviously my reaction is going to be to find another job, but I want to learn how to see this coming in the future, to understand this situation in all its facets, and ensure I'm not caught off guard by something like this again. I want very dearly to be a write and hopefully actor in my life, and this makes me wonder what all I don't know about getting into the industry. Will I need some kind of special Tax number for it? Do I have to be listed as some kind of Private Company for that?

Anyway, that's enough of me ranting and burdening all of you with my personal business. No matter what's going on personally right now, I want to wish you all a happy and meaningful Christmas with the people you love and care about! I haven't forgotten about the winners of the FA raffle and First place is pretty much done; it just needs finished up. Everyone else should fall together much easier and faster behind that. So here's to hoping for a happy new year and good will towards man!

Howdy Cool Cats and Coal Stokers! Sorry for the delay in the announcement for the winners, As some deadlines for a few personal projects grow near, I've been devoting larger sums of time to their completion as well various irl duties which I'll not bore you with the details of! ANYWAY, that aside it brings me great pleasure to announce the winners. I didn't reach the 220 Watcher mark so sadly, there's only 3 winners. (We were only 4 off, better luck next time everyone!!) And again, I'll be hosting another raffle once my DeviantArt account hits 200! So long as you're a watcher on either my DA or FA account you can enter! As of writing this I'm at 182 watchers on DA!


FIRST PLACE WINNER IS  friendlywolf who has his choice of a full colored drawing complete with background, or 10 full pages of a story of his choosing (pending approval)

Second runner up is:  Lil-ronnie who has a small single colored picture of the character with maybe a simple background or a 5 page story (pending approval) to select from.

And finally was a late entry that surprised me, but My sister https://the-gij.deviantart.com/ who can either have a bust or a 1 to 2 page short story if she wants it.

Thank you to everybody who entered and I look forward to doing this all again! Take care, stay amazing, and be good to one another! I count my lucky stars to know I have as many people as I do who want to see more art from me. I know I'm not the greatest. Heck I'd figure that I'm average at best, but for the chance to entertain you all, to help illustrate the various worlds in my head I want to share, and the chance just to know how good I can be, I will never stop trying to do my best for you! Because you all inspire me to go forward, even when I feel like I'm nothing special. I love you all!! And God bless!!

Thanks for coming everybody! The Stream is over and done, but my contest is still open until tomorrow afternoon! Be sure to comment if you'd like a spot in a raffle to potentially get some free art! The only requirement is that you're a watcher of mine!

It's time for a Friday night Stream! I'm going to go live here at 8 o'clock so within the next 10 minutes or so! Come and join me if you'd like and watch me continue working on this surprise picture for  jackofminds lol shhh don't tell them!

Find the Stream here on https://picarto.tv/TheApprentice225

Stream's done! Thanks for coming everybody! I'll try to start a bit later in the afternoon next time so it's more convenient! I'll see you next Wednesday!! I'm actually really happy with the shading of this piece and I might just upload a black and white version before I color it!

Hey hey Cool Cats and Coal Stokers, I'm getting ready to set up for a stream here in a few minutes! I'm going to try to get into the habit of doing Wednesday Afternoon Streams and make this a thing! Head on over to my picarto.tv located here https://picarto.tv/TheApprentice225 while I get set up to work on a secret bit of Giftart I started, Shhh nobody tell  JackofMinds

Hey, what's shaking everybody? In my Hurricane thoughts journal I'd mentioned that I was holding an art raffle for hitting 200 watchers on FA, but since that one was a bit long, I don't think many people saw it or read it. SO, I'd like to re-announce that and move the deadline off to the 30th of September since I only have two entries. I'm actually really excited because, this is the first time I can recall, breaking 200 watchers ANYWHERE! It's amazing to think that there's 200 people out there who enjoy what I do and the things I upload! Anyone who's watching me can enter and I'll offer a full colored drawing or 10 pages of a story of their choosing (pending approval) for first place! Second place will receive a small single colored character or a 5 page story, and third will be a bust or 1 to 2 pages of a story should they want it. IF I can get to 220 watchers by the 30th of this week, all the top three places will get their choice of a full colored scene and character OR a 10 page story, with 4th and 5th place getting what was previously offered for 2nd and 3rd. Once I hit 200 watchers on DA, I'll hold a similar raffle! All you have to do is be a watcher of mine, and say you want to enter for your chance at the raffle! Simple as that! Though if you're just going to watch me, then unwatch me afterwards, you will be barred from any future contest. Thank you all again so much for watching me! I appreciate it all and love each and every one of you!!

ENTRIES SO FAR:
 Colby-Hedgey
 Lil-ronnie

Hey guys! I'm testing out the waters so to speak with this whole streaming thing, so if you want to see me working on my current commission, pop on over! https://picarto.tv/TheApprentice225

So apparently this is supposed to get a bit hairy! I've spent all of today moving, lifting, and shoring up everything on the property. I've cut through glue and carried an entire greenhouse from the backyard all the way to the front and into the garage. I'm still working to try to have my latest commission completed by Monday when it is due, however if the weather gets too heavy or I lose power, the status of all commissions will be paused and will not be counted towards the week limit. As I'm sure you'll understand, a hurricane which people keep saying is supposed to be the worst in the state's history tends to take priority. Rest assured though, I will continue working until I cannot, the weather is not an excuse for laze.

That said, despite everything, I'm still in pretty good spirits. I've actually been putting a lot of thought into things I'd like to do for all of you. I know I'm not the greatest artist out there, I know I need to put in a lot more work before I can find that next bar to climb to, and I know eventually I'll not have the time I do now as life always presses onward and forward. But in my eyes, that makes each and every one of you more precious and special to me!! I've earned every one of you by way of merit alone, never from hype or some for other means: either you like my story ideas, or you like my characters, my art has slowly become good enough to warrant attention, or you just thought I was a nice or decent enough fellow to watch, but no matter the reason, you've all stuck around for me: and I'd rather have that then a million people who just watch me for the novelty of popularity. You're all amazing, and I love you all.

CONTEST:
I actually, for the first time I can recall, broke 200 watchers! Over on my FA! It's amazing to think that there's 200 people out there who enjoy what I do and the things I upload! Because of this, I'll be holding a raffle that anyone whose watching me can enter where I'll offer a full colored drawing or 10 pages of a story of their choosing (pending approval) as a prize! Second place will receive a small single colored character or a 5 page story, and third will be a bust or 1 to 2 pages of a story should they want it. IF I can get to 220 watchers by the 25th of this week, all the top three places will get their choice of a full colored scene and character OR a 10 page story, with 4th and 5th place getting what was previously offered for 2nd and 3rd. Once I hit 200 watchers on DA, I'll hold a similar raffle! All you have to do is be a watcher of mine, and say you want to enter for your chance at the raffle! Simple as that! Though if you're just going to watch me, then unwatch me afterwards, you will be barred from any future contest.

PROJECTS:
As for projects, I'd like to be more active on Youtube so I've been working on a few video ideas and if I can I'd like to get into the habit of doing at least a video a week until I hit my stride. I've been mulling over an idea for a comic I may try to tackle in the future if I can find the time for it! Keep on the look out for that one! I'm going to try to have my novel of 13 years done by the end of this year and start taking the steps to publish it and get copies in stores! Once I'm happy with everything, I'll upload a preview of the first chapter for everyone to see! Speaking of Infinity Quest, I'm going to try to use my increased skills to retroactively go back over some of my older drawings I've uploaded to DA and bring them up to code for everyone to enjoy. I have a new contest coming up that'd be pretty cool I think, once I can get the logistics of that worked out and some money put aside for a cash prize. Then finally, when I can manage, I'm probably going to do a few fanfics on the side that I've been meaning to do.

FAN FICTIONS:
HALO: Okay, so long story short, I passionately hate the works of 343 Industry and their hamfisted bumbling through a beloved series. The art style is wildly off, the narrative is confused at best and completely disconnected from the lore and repelling at worst, the care for the characters non-existant, and the portrayal of the upper brass of the UNSC ranges from comically over the top, to insultingly incompetent. I've been talking with friends off and on about how the series after 3 could've continued better. I'll more than likely end up rebooting my universe and starting over if I have time, AND I fully intent to do a video on youtube detailing how I personally would've presented HALO 4 if it were in my lap. I'll need a Master Chief, Cortana, and maybe Covenant voice actors in order to realize that one though.

WOLF CHILDREN: Where oh where to I begin with this one? I ADORE this film to an absolutely astonishingly degree. In my years growing up, I'd lost my taste for anime around 14: with a few off and on again exceptions. But last weekend my friend Colby wanted to watch this film with me, so I gave it a chance and dove in completely blind and got my mental backside handed to me!! If you've not seen this (in my opinion) MASTERPIECE of a film yet, go buy a copy of it and brace yourself for a great move that hits your feels with a military force!!
===========SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!!=======
So as the movie opened slowly I had time to want to meet it with my usual comedic teasing and playful ribbing, unaware that I was provoking a force that was just waiting to feed me back my every last joke and leave my LITERALLY DEPRESSED all of these week! The ending put me to ruins as each of the kids go their separate way, leaving their mother alone in that house after spending the movie watching these kids grow to 13 and 10 respectfully. This movie makes you love Ame, Yuki, and Hana so dearly as you watch this single mother try over and over and over again to tackle things she doesn't know and hardships all for the good of her abnormal but wonderfully precious wolf children! They're MORE than just characters to you by the end of the film! That's one of the reasons I think Ame's departure at the end, and even Yuki's development at the end sting so! Yuki decides to walk the road of a human and Ame rejects human life to live as a wolf in the mountains. But they're more than that though! And the subject matter this movie tackles is an emotional thrill ride!!

A parent should want of their kids to have more chances to succeed than they had and provide for them as many opportunities to do so as possible. Hana is a wonderful supportive mom, working with what little she had and putting her life on hold in order to devote all her time to her children. They were 13 years of her life!! But her role is not done, nor are her kids done learning from her! At least, in my opinion they're not.

Growing up means making your own path in life, living, but it doesn't mean cutting your family out of your life and going at it alone. It doesn't mean you have to be the lighting rod for all the worst life can throw at you. If they do a sequel it should be about Hana encouraging them to go on as they deal with the hardships of their choices respectively and learn how to accept and use their dual nature to help them in their lives: to be who they are inside, not what life seems to demand them to be. IE conforming to an idea of normal that makes you resent something that's a part of you (in the case of Yuki who went from this carefree child in tune with both of her natures who becomes what I can only see as fearful and resenting of anything that would make her different from anyone else), or living in isolation self imposed and giving up on everything else in your life because you don't see the immediate value of it or how it connects to you, or out of fear of having to live in a cage your whole life around people that you're different than (such as Ame). And I can't just accept it because these kids DID NOT get the Ash Ketchum treatment where they're thrown out into the woods at 10 and told to call if they feel like it. Hana is a shining example of humanity and put her everything into these kids. And you root for her in the movie, my god do you root for them in the movie! People like seeing a good human being succeed, they understand that in life there is suffering, but at the end of it they like seeing that person come out on top; not suffering without reason. It helps us, comforts us by showing us that there's justice in the world. The fact I scream for justice for fictional characters should be a testimony alone that Mamoru Hosoda is a brilliant writer who makes a movie that is complex in its simplicity and simple in its complexity!!

This movie is beautiful, it is a work of art, and I can't stress enough that you should watch it!! And it's because I love the movie so much, that Mamoru Hosoda made characters who are so lovable and real that they put actors in higher budget live action movies to shame, that I want to showcase how much this world, that this amazing man created mean to me by writing a story that is worthy to be associated even by proxy to this film and to the best of my abilities give these characters a happier note to end on! I think what made it more of a complete experience to me was the fact that these fictional characters and their world was treated so respectfully and realistically, and by the time of the storm in the film, the threat of Irma had become more of a pressing matter. It just made the experience all the more immersive. I'd best stop here though before I go on a longer rant. I could go on about this film for ages!!
=============SPOILERS END HERE!!============================

And I think that's about it! I've spilled everything on my mind, my content, my plans, and gotten my two cents in before the Hurricane hit! So yeah! In closing I'd like to make a shoutout to https://starkyoujo.deviantart.com/ who is a monstrously talented writer from what I have read who deserves far more attention and support! As of writing this, she's only had 2 pageviews today which is a terrible shame as she deserved a good number more! If you have the chance to experience the words she's lovingly crafted into stories that you'll not doubt enjoy, consider popping over, reading a story or two, and giving her a comment!! Here's to hoping I don't get blown away in gale force winds!!!

Wowie Kazowee and Jubilee, it’s that wonderful time of the year again where I disembark for Megaplex!!! And this year it’s a theme that’ll really tickle my fancy, sci fi!! Moreover, silly light hearted sci fi like Galaxy Quest; which is a personal all time favorite movie of mine!! Lol So I figured this year I’d join the hype and fill out this meme that’s been circling around!

Where are you staying?
Comfortably between sanity and full on bonkers

What day are you getting there/how long are you staying?
Thursday through Sunday Morning

Who will you be rooming with?
My sister  Spazzfur , my ever wonderful friend  colby-hedgey , Ethan whose username I don’t quite remember, and the spectacular  themonsterr

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Well given that I’m a hefty sort I suppose anyone who gets trapped in my gravitational pull!

How is the best way to find you?
lol looking for the frothing ball of little red excited hedgehog who will be glued to my hip is the best way for starters, aside from that I’ll be meandering around the con space so just keep your eyes out!

Hugs?
Why, it wouldn’t be Megaplex without them! Feel free to pile them on!!

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Oh heck yes! I’m looking forward to shaking my groove thing and trying to get into the Dance competition, I’m the co-host of the coo coo crazy Whose Line panel, I’ve been invited to the Thursday Writing Prompt, The writing Workshop, I’m always keep on cracking wise at the Open Mic Comedy Panel, I’d like to finally attend my buddy  Nicholai_Gaul ‘s Aviation Furs Panel, and always ALWAYS the charity auction! Aside from that you’ll see me at the Super Sponsor Luncheon, the Fursuit Parade, and maybe the art jam!

Will you be suiting?
Goodness gracious yes!

What suits will you be wearing?
I’ll be wearing my Jyoo C Froot version 2.1.1 which I’ll be debuting there, hopefully free from the malfunctions of the untested 2.0 I wore last year which had a terrible overheating issue.

How tall are you? Age?
I’m a 25 year old 6’4” prime example of Sasquatch health!

What do you look like?
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/716030568178311169/EHAXUajG.jpg
Lol joking aside I look http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22828399/ and my suit generally looks like this http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22349852/ and will be sporting some new upgrades this year!

Can I talk to you?
Are you kidding? I’m a terrible chatterbox and adore Megaplex!! I think the better question will be if you can escape!

Can I touch you?
If you quantify that as hugs and high fives then certainly! Though I’d like to avoid people groping my facial hair this year >.>

Can I visit your room?
I’m afraid I like to keep the place where I and everyone else relax and rest private so as not to disturb anyone or ruin the magic when I’m changing out of suit so I must insist the answer to that is no unless told otherwise.

Can I buy you drinks?
I appreciate the gesture but save your money for yourself! The only drinks I need are soda pop, water, and my powered Protein mix!

Can I give you stuff?
Aw shucks! There’s no need to! I’m sure you can find someone more deserving of your kindness than I!

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Sure! Just let me know you’re approaching first! Suits have a bit of limited vision after all.

Are you nice?
I think that would be rude or boastful of me to try to answer, you’ll have to decide yourself; but I do try to be!!

Do you have an artist table?
Oh heavens no, I’m nowhere near that good!

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Yelling “Hey fat hairy guy” usually works lol but I don’t mind if you walk up to me or tap me on the shoulder

What/where will you be eating?
I’m actually cooking stuff at the house and bringing it with to treat all my friends and roommates to my home cooking! Anything else will be sort of up in the air. Aside from Pizza, ordering one is a tradition at this point!

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
I don’t really think I’ll be eating anywhere, and I certainly won’t be leaving the con space while I’m there. Once a year this is my fuzzy little bubble where anthros come to life.

Can I take your picture?
Of course!! I’d never dream of robbing someone of memories! Con pictures give me life the year through and I always look back at them with fondness and joy.

What's your goal(s) for the cons this year?
Buy something at the charity auction, not overheat in the Dance preliminaries, get into the dance, and suit as much as I can and make as many people as happy as I can!!

I can't wait to see you all and I hope you all have a fantastical and GROOVY time this year!! I adore this convention and the way it brings out the best in people. Every year it's like getting to spend time with a long lost furry family that never ceases to remind me why I love this fandom. To my fans, to my friends, to my watchers, and to all; I love you all so very much and bless you all for being a part of my life! Let's make this a convention for the books!!

Howdy guys and gals! Under the request of a friend, I put together detailing my workout routine with the hopes that it'll give him as much success as it's given me. I figured with Megaplex right around the corner it would be a nice boost for anyone looking to try to shed a few pounds before the con! I've lost 20 so far! If you decide to give it a try give me a comment and let me know how much you've lost after a few weeks!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5h2W9G0uE4

I JUST GOT BACK INSIDE FROM MY SIDE YARD WHERE MY IMPALA IS PARKED!!! I JUST GOT HER OLD ENGINE TO TURN OVER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 22 YEARS!!! It's awfully gritty sounding but that's the first noise that 283's made in over two decades!!!! A battery and a screwdriver and blind luck!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!! The distributor dropped right down into place, the fan started spinning, everything is engaging properly! Once I shore up some things and get that darn dash working I'm going to see if I can't press my advantage and get an idle going!

BUT THE ENGINE
AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

SO HAPPY!!!

To all service members, active or retired, I just wanted to make it absolutely clear you have my undying gratitude for what you do. It's not every day that someone decides that they're willing to go out and risk their lives for people they've never met, that they possess so much love that they're willing to die so that the people they disagree with still have the freedom to express their opinion. You see, Life is like a group dinner party and freedom is like the check. You want to be free from the oppression of foreign control? Well that's added to the bill. You want the freedom to voice your own thoughts without getting struck down by the ruling class? Sure thing, that'll just be added to the total. Do you believe that all people are created equal and that people should be rewarded for their own merits and be given equal chance to succeed or fail? That's just one more addition to the total. And while it's always fun to add more things to the meal and prolong the party, at the end someone always has to pay the piper.

Every day that we wake up feeling safe, every time that someone sits down to draw, or write, or fursuit, or go to a con, or anything like that, any time we voice our opinions freely with one another, any time we go to church, or even something as mundane as going shopping, all of that is paid for by someone brave enough to pick up arms on our behalf. So again, to any and all service member you have my deepest respect and praise. I cannot fathom how much you love you have for the people around you that you'd be willing to die for their way of life to continue. Thank you.

To everyone else, this Memorial Day make sure you thank the Veterans you see, make sure you take a moment to reflect on how much your fellow countrymen must love you to protect you, and above all be good to one another. Happy Memorial Day.

Howdy Groovy people! How's everyone feeling today? I hope you're all feeling as far out as I am and have a great day! I actually wanted to ask you guys a question for the day. What is your favorite fursuiter performance? When you think of a fursuiter at a con, who has set the standard for you? In the comments below, if you have a video, I'd love to see it! Please drop a link below to share your thoughts on who rocks the furry house and remember to have a great day!

Good morning everybody!! lol I know it's only 8:38am here now and a lot of you are still asleep, but I just wanted to take this time to thank every last one of my 175 Watchers! I so deeply appreciate you watching and supporting my attempts to get better at art and entertain! I just wanted to let you know that all over you, every last one of you are incredible people! Each of you are splendidly talented even if you don't know it!! I'm so happy to be a part of this community and to have as many watchers as I do! I love you all!!

I hope everyone has a great day and is feeling Groovy !! I know I am!

Hey everyone, so again sorry for blowing off a little steam like that. It was just a bit much to be carrying for a whole week with the constant threat of losing my dad, and if I'd seemed off I wanted to be honest with everyone. We got him home from the ER at around 3, and he's been resting on the recliner and taking short walks around the house. He's currently sleeping right now, but he's well into the clear. We've got his medication and his neck is looking good around the stitches.

There's always been two lines of thought in my family that sort of conflict with one another when dealing with major issues. My mom's side of the family has always been a "Circle the Wagons" kind of people when it comes to issues, letting people know what's up so they can be there for emotional support from the very beginning. My Dad's side has always taken an Atlas approach, suffering in silence so as not to scare others and filling them in after getting through the worst of it. To be perfectly honest I suppose I'm much more of the latter, I don't like coming to others with my problems and stressing out my friends when they've got their own lives to deal with. But I kind of had a big scare these week and I'm taking a moment to blow off a little bit and pass this on to you, my watchers, friends, and anyone who happens upon my page because I think it's important to know these kinds of things.

For the past several days my Dad's been in the Emergency Room. To be honest, it's scared the living daylights out of me because it was pretty serious. Towards the beginning of the week my dad had an issue where the vision in his left eye had begun to fade out in a bright wash of light until he couldn't see out of the eye at all. This lasted for about 12 minutes until it went back to normal. During the rest of the week he'd taken some time to make sure he was alright and on Wednesday he went back to work. On a whim I hugged him that night before bed and told him I loved him like my mom, sister, and I do every night, which I'm sort of sad to say I don't do very often looking back on it. Thursday came and he was off to work before I woke up like usual, but unlike usual, the blindness returned once he got to work. This time he decided that this might be serious and came home, told my mom what had happened, then drove himself to the ER; and that was about all I'd heard until late in the afternoon.

I'm going to be honest, my dad and I don't always get along neither does he and my sister. He has a strong sense of humor and an impish if not childish nature about him in a way, he can be kind and thoughtful of others. But there are other times where he goes through days saying and doing things that leave me wondering how selfish a person can be, and just how can someone be that thoughtless or mean-spirited? But when I heard what had happened and was left to sit in the dark not knowing what was going on or if he was even still alive, I had time to think; and I mean HOURS. Thoughts began to pass through my mind, thoughts about dad not being there to see me meet the right girl and start a family of my own, Grandkids that would never know their Grandfather, Dad never getting to see me or my sister move out and make it in the world, the launch of my novel, or my mom coming home every night to an empty side of the bed. It was crushing to imagine him disappearing from our lives, and the last time I'd let him know that I loved him came simply from a whim out of the blue one night before he went to bed.

It's very easy to hype yourself up and begin to think someone's the worst person in the world, or take them for granted because you don't even consider they won't be there tomorrow, or just not say or do things because you don't make time to do them because it doesn't seem important at the time. But when you step back you can see the good, when you get a hard slap of reality you realize how much an empty seat means, and just how painful words left unsaid are.

Now make no mistake, I don't hate my dad. I've never thought i was living with Attila the Hun, or saying anything extreme like that. But when I had time to think, and that fragile veil of comfort was pulled away leaving me to look over a chasm of harsh and uncertain reality, it gave me time to think. I want to say this right now for anyone who will listen to this, who will take the time to read this; no matter who voted for who, no matter what your beliefs are, no matter if you don't like one of your family members, no matter if you figure they know already, or you've never said it before, make time to tell people you love them! For god sake's in the uncertain world whether they're the model person or not, they're all you have!! Tell them you love them, tell them they mean a lot to you, tell them to take care of themselves, give them a hug!! Because every single person on the face of the planet is just like you, going through life trying to do the best they can with what they're given. They make differences on people's lives, they matter to many different people, they have hopes and dreams the same as you do, and in an instant that can be taken away from not only you, but anyone who depends on them!

Mercifully, my dad called in the afternoon to fill me in. A major Artery on his left side had become 95% clogged over the years and it was seriously affecting blood flow, causing his left optical nerve to go into spasms creating the light affect, and if he'd let it go any longer he'd have had a stroke. He went into surgery last night and is recovering and should be home today if all goes well. But this scare has put things into perspective a bit clearer for me and I want to be open with everybody about things. And I want to make certain I convey just how important it is to be considerate of others. No fight, no argument, no petty disagreement is worth a heartbroken spouse having to live the rest of their lives coming home to an empty side of the bed. Nothing is more important that taking the time at least once a night to tell someone you love them. No difference of opinion is worth telling someone you hate them. No one lasts forever, so don't wait to tell someone they mean something until they're gone. Because I was lucky to have had the chance to tell him I loved him before he went to the ER; but no one will be lucky all the time.

I'll keep people posted on his recovery later in the week when he gets home. But please keep what I said in mind and consider it. No youtube video, no Skype call, no Social Media site, no computer is so important that it can't wait a few minutes to say something important to someone. Hopefully the rest of my year will settle down, I think this is about as much excitement as I'd care to take!!