These certain weekdays are meant for these kind of journals. So bring 'em on questions, mates and maters!

Some of you might be aware of the novel I began to write some time ago. And yus, I still am working on it, even though it has been a while since the first chapter had been out (especially since the first time I actually posted it). But here's the problem! English isn't my first language - and despite me being rather fluent in it, it still takes a long time for me to contruct and write down a full sentence. Even more when it's a sentence that is more on the complicated side. Which means: The time I need to write a page in the English language roughly equals the time I need to write three, if not even four, pages in German. And even then I have the problem of the occasional awkward English sentence popping up every once in a while. Or (which is just as annoying) I sometimes take the "easy way out", opting for a less complicated (and ultimately less elegant) sentence because of insecurity getting in the way - or the issue of time. Because if I don't get on with it in one way or another I never will.

So a thought crossed my mind, one that should have actually been painfully obvious. Why don't I just write the thing in German first and then hand it over to a translator? (Of course I could translate it myself, but then I'd run into the very same problems mentioned above.) However, when I consider the length of the book I'd be facing problems as well; ones that would be of a different kind but just as annoying. Chapter one was something like 60 pages already, and the way things are shaping up the second one will be even longer. And chapter two is hardly hardly hardly the last. Very far from being the last, actually. A translation of any of these would be a very time consuming job, and I can't ask anyone to do that, honestly. So I checked some translation services online, hoping for the best. But just a translation of the first chapter alone would cost me almost two monthly salaries. And I can't possibly afford that - under no circumstance whatsoever.

So, of course, I could be *just* writing the thing in German and leave it at that. But that would slash my potential readers down to almost zero.

Now I wonder what the heck I'm supposed to do.

Dang it. I clearly was born in the wrong country.

So 48 completed pages of "Jolson & Jones", approximately 70 pages of other comics that I have to ink/pencil or for which I have to polish their scripts, a Christmas story for the German Doctor Who podcast (Darn it, release the thing already, what's keeping you?!), the second chapter of my dragon book in the works...

Come to think of it this might actually be the most productive year I've ever had. And I hope I'll be able to keep it going. o.o As rubbish as 2016 was politically and culturally, at least it was almost suspiciously stable for me personally. Which was the only reason why I was able to walk on a line as steady as this. And the failing health of some of my family members and some wonky things going on at work give me rather big ideas for 2017. We'll see though, we'll see.

"What, this is all you talk about here? Creative nonsense and nothing else? Where's the REST?!" - But I have no other life, people, I have no other life! May it continue! ^_^

Family visit is over - I can go back to being a dragon full time again.

Greengreen!

It has been a really really long while since I last wrote a journal entry. At least that's what I noticed when I just took a random look at my profile here.

Is there a reason for this? Sort of, kind of. And no, I don't think it's laziness. And it certainly isn't the lack of ideas of what to talk about. I seem to have gone quiet all around, at least beyond certain hemispheres. I used to talk/chat a lot more with people about a year (maybe even two years) ago, but for quite some time now I am somewhat... locked in my own creative little world, I'm afraid. I am constantly working on something, mostly comics, and when I'm not actively working on them I'm thinking ABOUT them. And everything else seems strangely insignificant – or rather like a distraction. I'm not quite sure how exactly this happened, but I think I know WHY it happened. I mean, for years I left my ambitions pretty much dormant and I didn't do much in general. I basically couch potatoed my time away for a very long while, and now it feels as if I'm just catching up with what I missed out on. And when I began with said catching I actually resented myself for being a slacker for so long. But now I don't have these feelings of resentment anymore because I don't have time for THEM either! It's actually quite bizarre.

Or is “worrying” the better, the actual word for it? When my mum said that she wanted to visit me for a week and we both made plans for it, I noticed how I actually don't want her to come. The main reason for this? Well, if she's here I won't have much time to work on my stuff.

Hrum.

Honestly, is this even healthy anymore?

I recently talked about this with a friend who is experiencing a very similar thing. The excessive-work-on-projects thing while forgetting/not caring about everything and everyone around you. The only difference: My friend wasn't too concerned and actually rather fine with it. And deep down I have to admit that I'm fine with it myself. However... at the same time it scares me a little that I'm fine with it in the first place. And once I'm done with scaring myself (for ten or twenty seconds or so) I resume work and forget everything around me again. Yikes. I need to rub my forehead.

So let's recount it all. I have this ongoing webcomic “Jolson & Jones”, which is my most obvious and most visible project. Meanwhile I'm collecting material for a collection of comic short stories. And then there's also this book I'm working on in the background. The workload is insane. The number of projects IS INSANE, especially considering my very demanding day job. What the hell am I even thinking?

On the other hand though it's all very fulfilling and it's a very good feeling seeing it all coming together. It might all be slow and very piece by piece... but they are coming together nonetheless. So why should I complain?

Where am I even going with this journal entry anyway? o_O

Ah well. Bottom line: Whoever you are, if I haven't talked to you in a while and didn't give you as much attention as I used to, then here's the reason. Not an excuse by any means... but just the reason. However you can always poke me if you want to. ;) I might have become an even more eccentric hermit than I used to be (and honestly, little did I know that this was even effin possible), but that doesn't mean that I mind when someone pulls me out of my social sleep every once in a while. Just saying. And just throwing it out there. Greengreen! :)

I'm KaoruDragon on Telegram btw. Just saying, fyi. Dum-dee-dum!

Yeah, it's right at the top on this profile, see?

And no, don't start "Binding of Isaac" YET AGAIN, for goodness sake! You went as far as you could with that game. Sure, it's possible to unlock the last few remaining items... theoretically! But see, nothing is to be gained from all these attempts to get something out of the characters like The Lost or The Keeper. You CAN'T win with them! It's NOT possible! Don't waste any more hours on even trying.

Yes, WASTE! For crying out loud, have you even SEEN how many hours you plummet into that game? Have you ever LOOKED at your Steam profile? Well, you really should do that, because blimey Charlie!!

Was it worth it? WILL it be worth it? What are actually getting out of it? THESE ARE GENUINE QUESTIONS!

Get out of this ALIVE as long as you can! You can do it, I believe in you!

...that 97% of all people who put me on their watchlist are waiting for me to (finally) churn out another TF piece.

I don't quite know how respond to that, honestly. :-I

When David Bowie died earlier this year it upset me quite a bit. He was one of those artists I was hugely into and whose music was a constant companion to me over the years. I remember listening to albums like "Low" and "Outside" on long walks through cities at nights, train rides, bus travels... or just simply as a sources of inspiration to... whatever. Ever since his death I was toying around with the idea to do a series of short comics in which I would review all of his albums, similar to what I did with The Beatles' White Album a couple of years ago, but I just never found the time to do it.

Um yeah, well. Since today I can add Prince to the same pile, I suppose. Another death that really bums me out. :-/ And well yeah sure, his last few albums were so awful to the point that they were barely listenable... but replace the above mentioned "Low" and "Outside" with something like "Purple Rain" and "The Gold Experience" and you would get the same story. And yeah, even the Batman album. It sure may be the butt of jokes these days (most prominently in Shaun Of The Dead), but hey. It was the album that got me, as a wee kid, into Prince in the first place. :)

There's really not much of a point I could go to with this journal entry. I just want to say that it just sucks to lose two artists whose work mean a lot to you in rapid succession. Not happy.

Hm. Halfway through the plotting and sketching of the next batch of Jolson & Jones pages I'm not really sure if I actually want to continue. Well okay, one half of me does but the other half is contantly whispering: "For heaven's sake, end it NOW! Hardly anyone reads it and it only delays all your other things you want to do anyway. So better focus on THESE, ferchrissakes!" Dunno. Should I listen to that voice?

I mean... it's not like I'm lacking ideas or anything, because I've got plenty more stories and characters waiting in the wings. And I suppose none of them would be as hard to do as my wolf series, because they would all be "just" stories, instead of a string of weekly pages that always need to work as standalones as well as a piece of a longer storyarc. And you cannot possibly imagine how hard and timeconsuming these are to write. :-I Time and effort I could invest in something else.

But then again... I luv me two wulfs. :c

So yeah. Honestly scratching my head over this.

Instead of listening only to music all the time, I figured I should finally clear that massive backlog of podcasts that I've collected. Or at least a substantial amount of it.

Among it was Serial, which was surrounded by a pretty big hype 1 1/2 years ago and caused a new wave of podcast craze, or at least this is what some articles on the web have been saying ever since. In any case I can very well understand the hype, because it's a pretty intriguing and gripping thing to listen to. In case you haven't heard about it before: It follows a journalist's research about a teen murder case that took place 15 years ago, and in which literally nothing adds up. The motive sounds far-fetched, the witness is jumping back and forth with his statements, the circumstances all contradict themselves and don't really hold up after investigation (or lead to dead ends) ...and the more the journalist keeps digging the more intriguing the whole thing becomes.

What I personally found a bit odd though was little Jay (the main suspect) was questioned in the programme. And with that I don't mean his wonky statements, but the motive behind his (possible) lying. It's never adressed what he could possibly have gotten out of it all, so that section of the show was a bit weird. However, later onwards another player comes into the game, who actually could provide an alibi for the suspect... but even that came with some strange contradictions, leading to even more things that don't add up. Which makes me wonder what on earth really truly happened between all these kids. The way I take it (and this is really just a wild guess on my part), they were all involved in a stupid accident of whatever kind that left Hae dead, and when they couldn't manage to cover up somebody had to "take the bullet".

Did anyone of you follow the podcast? If so, what were your thoughts on it? I'd be interested to hear what you have to say. :)

(And, oh yeah, there's also a second season of the show, which focuses on the return of a US soldier after his five-year imprisonment of the Taliban. Which didn't seem to me as interesting as the murder mystery at first, but really gets going after a couple of episodes and actually becomes just as gripping.)

Then there was The Black Tapes Podcast, which uses the same reporting format that Serial does, but tells a fictional story about the supernatural. Or does it? ;) It's a pretty cool audio drama series, very apparently done on a shoestring budget - which weirdly adds to its atmosphere. Some of the episodes are actually really quite chilling, especially when listened to late at night, preferably past midnight. :D It's currently in its second string of episodes, and enjoying a midseason break. A good time for YOU to catch up with it. If you want to, that is. But if you're a fan of spooky stories and creepy thing you definitely should check it out and give it a go!

From the same people comes Tanis. You could very well argue that it's simply just "more of the same", but it's darn fine "more of the same". At least as far as I can tell. (As of now I'm only halfway through the episodes.) It's a sort-of spin-off of The Black Tapes, as it makes uses of some of the same characters so that both podcasts share the same universe. The key difference to the other show that it delves more into conspiracy theories, urban legends and famous internet mysteries instead of supernatural topics. The whole thing is just suspenseful however and just as chilling to listen to. And it kind of annoys me that I can't listen to the next few episodes right now because that kind of stuff just doesn't work the same way in broad daylight. :D Ah well. *checks clock* Seven more hours to go until midnight. I can do that!!

Also.... Hello to Jason Isaacs! If you know what I mean: Cool! :3

A couple of thoughts, just mainly because I want that completely obsolete last journal from January to disappear from my profile page.

Yus, even *I managed to sneak into a Zootopia screening. ;) I mean, it's kinda expected from everyone here, if not even mandatory, isn't it? And I really enjoyed it! If anything it's a huge step up from the Disney movies of recent years. (Well, at least I wasn't terribly big on them, barring „Big Hero 6“, which I haven't seen.) There are so many little (visual) details in that film that it's almost dazzling. The world depicted is so wonderfully realized, so well thought through, so dense with LITERALLY EVERYTHING that you could virtually freezeframe at any given time and spot something fun and clever somewhere in the background. But I also have to say that the film's universe sometimes gets dangerously close to eclipsing the script. Of course, the characters and jokes are always strong enough to make up for every little flaw that the movie might have, but darn it if some veeeeeery convenient bits of plotting don't bother me at least a little because I just can't help it. ;) No plotholes however, just some „very lucky chances“ and instances of „You know, if the characters had brains they would actually do THIS thing instead“. And Shakira. Good Lord, SHAKIRA. I honestly wonder why Disney always insists on catching up with pop culture 15 years too late. It's like... dunno... at the end of the 90s when they reached out to Phil Collins of all people to write the songs. Lol But anyway, a 8/10 on IMDb from me. :)

Another film I watched a couple of days ago was „The Man Who Fell To Earth“, which has the other big iconic role for David Bowie that isn't the Goblin King. I saw it before once on TV, but that was at a tender age of ...10? 11? Naturally it went way over my head back then and I planned to revisit it ever since. And... well. When Bowie died a couple of months back (and I'm still in denial here, just saying) I thought it finally was the damn time to order the BluRay and give it another go. I'm only slightly less confused now, but darn it if it's not a fascinating film. They really don't make SciFi movies *that trippy anymore, or any other given movie for that matter. :D And Bowie is so weird and downright ALIEN in it you that you believe the character, an extraterrastrial who doesn't really understand how to deal with hyumans, any given second. And yeah, the music is really really good. Some of it has actually been haunting since I first saw the film in my childhood. And I always thought there was no way of getting a soundtrack album because of silly legal shenanigans that kept a release under wraps, making it impossible to have a clear version of the song of the opening minutes that has a bassline that I could never ever get out of my head. Well, it turns out that most of it went out on other albums instead, including the one mentioned above, and it has been just a click to Youtube away, at least for the last several years. Um, d'uh. :P Well, what do you know?

Um... Blubb.

Also: When will I finally start clearing out my apartment of all the stuff that I honestly don't need? There's so effin' much in here that's eating up space and should better be on eBay instead. Besides, I really could use the money.
The huge stash of CDs give me the biggest headache though. I hardly ever play them anymore... and nobody wants them. At least not for more than 2 quids in total. And I refuse to sell them for such a low amount of money. Uggghhh, what to do, what to do.

And I honestly should lose a few pounds. That wacky long winter got me slacking on my diet. And the very last thing I want to do is go back to my pre-2014 round self again. Gngngngn. X) Let's exchange carrots! Show me your vegetables, baby! Those stones of mine mustn't return!

It's been a dull evening so far... so a Q&A might come in handy. Ask me stuff... and let me think of answers, 100% of the truthful kind! :)

So let's do a TMI tuesday again because I honestly don't know with what else to fill my journals these days. ;)

My computer bit the dust about a week ago and any attempts to revive the poor thing were hopeless. I ordered a new one however... but for some reason the shop is taking its time (well, aaaages) to send it out.

So I can't draw digitally, I can't scan traditional stuff... and apart from that, doing all your online stuff with the smartphone or a very old netbook is quite a pain.

In short: Gngngngngn.

Or something.

Um yeah. Don't really have anything to upload these days (though I think there are a few things in my sketchbook that I haven't put up here yet, will have to check). Lack of productivity isn't to blame however, far from it. It's more like that I can't put up what I did YET. ^^''

I've been doing a lot of work on "Jolson & Jones" lately, be it the creating of new pages or "remastering" old ones (I'm moving the whole thing to Comic Fury because I just can't be bothered with Smackjeeves anymore). No idea when I'll be done with that. At the same time I'm working on a couple of short story type comics, traditionally in my sketchbook - and I'll be making a seperate site for these as well.

Furthermore: Pictures that I owe people... or that I simply WANT to do just because.

I'm not quite sure where all that inspiration (or whatever you want to call it) is coming from, but I guess it's half catching up with all the time I've been wasting before... and half having control over at least *something* in my life right now. X3

And well yeah... If you've been wondering why I seemed to go somewhat quiet over the course of the past year, and roughly the last 6 months in particular, this is why. ^^'' Don't fear for me though, I'm still alive. :3

Also green.

...I want to finish it off by the end of the week. Just saying. It must finally happen, or else.

If I just wasn't so mortified about the inking process! I have a massive INKING PHOBIA, did I ever tell you that? Oh my God, the fear of messing something up. The thrill, the scare, the possible failure! Woe, woe!

Let's drink some green tea.

...because I hope at least someone is. :D

I just finished writing a story, but since I happen to be someone to whom English merely is a second language, I'm wary to put it out as it is. So is anyone out there (preferably a native speaker) who would go through the text for me, eliminating all the linguistic mishaps?

Just to describe what the story is about: It involves dragons in a vague fantasy setting, lots of dialogue... and a transformation scence, from man to dragon, obviously. ;) . Just so you know what you'd be getting yourself into.

I do have to warn you though, it's hardly a drabble! More like almost 50 pages, with Times New Roman at font size 12. (With an empty extra line between paragraphs, ahem. So it probably sounds longer than it actually is) Meaning: It would be something that eats more than just 15 minutes of your time.

It's a job that won't be unrewarded, however. There will be a picture in this for you. :)

Should you be willing to do this... place a comment or drop me a note!

Since I'm one of those people who only ever write a journal entry every five years or so, this entry is probably the best possible way to trick myself to get some stuff done. This way I'll always be reminded of the things I plan to do each time I check my profile in vain, giving me very little room for forgetting about them and being lazy in general. ;)

SO! My plans (more or less in this order) are:

1.) Making a comic about my experiences at EF21
Not only because it's more interesting than a journal entry... but also it'll be nice to not draw "a comic about comics" for a change. It'll be more diary- and stream of consciousness-like than all these wretched Jolson and Jones pages where I constantly have to agonize about content, structure and presentation. I've already written the whole thing at a Starbucks coffee table earlier the day... so all it takes for me is just to sit down and DRAW the thing. ;) Preferably traditionally, to give it a "smeary" diary feel. And because I'd be messing around with it endlessly if I did it in Manga Studio instead of just getting it done.

2.) Writing a TF story
Cough, um, yeah. Quite a while ago I decided that I wanted to move out of that corner (In fact I can't even remember when I last uploaded something TF-related on my account), at least artistically, and make my profile more about comics and cartoons instead. But even I have to cave in to my disturbing paraphilic urges sometimes, I guess. And about 9 out of 10 people put me on my watchlist for that reason anyway. :P It'll be a story I'd be willing to share for a change... but I might be putting it up on another account. By the way, I'd love to commission someone to provide it with a few accompanying images (since I don't consider myself to be gifted enough for this kind of thing) ...and I'm eyeing a few artists already. <.< We'll see!

3.) Working off that request/gift art list
Because it's really about damn time and I just want to be done with it, finally. *g* It shouldn't be that much work anyway. One thing is pretty much done already and another one just needs to be inked.

WHEN I'M DONE WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE

...I'll return to "Jolson & Jones". Not just to the comic itself, but I'm going to take a deeper look at the site, because it needs a serious overhaul.

Anyway, that would be it, dear journal! Now go and remind me all the frickin' time! :3

Where are you staying?
At my flat in Berlin. :P Yeah, I know. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. At least it saves money. Hrum.

Means of transportation?
Trains and busses!

Sharing a room with:
With myself? lol Though I'll be having  magrcon on my couch in an early-arrival-kind-of-way a few days before the con starts. Guess that counts. *g*

What is your gender?
Green anthrodragon, of course! Also "guy".

Relationship Status:
Singledingle

How old are you?
You don't ask that a lady who is 35 years old!!!1!

How tall are you?
A fairly average 182 cm.

Which languages do you speak?
German and English. I also have some remaining bits of Dutch locked away in my brain; might not be able to speak the language but I should understand the gist of it. :3

Where will you be most of the time during the day?
Here, there and everywhere.

Who will you be with?
Well, hopefully with you?? :)

Do you do free art/trades?
Hah. Maybe. :D In case anyone seriously wants something from me. ;)

What suit(s) will you have?
My hyuman suit. Will be wearing all the time. Pretty taxing, I know. Especially considering the hot weather!!

Can I touch/hug you?
IF WE KNOW EACH OTHER? :P Earn that hug, make it count! *g*

Can I talk to you?
Sure thing! :) Just do it LOUD and CLEARLY. Especially inside that lobby with the Acoustics of Doom. I have really bad ears and could hardly make out a THING in that place last year. So unless you want it to make a Professor Calculus type of conversation, be a bit louder with your tongue than you usually are. :D

Can I take photos of you/with you?
Yeah, I don't mind. :) Shoot as much as you like, no deal. The problem is more the other way round, I afraid. :D Because I personally never care, I always automatically assume no one else does as well. So slap my face and yell "NO!" in case I point my lense at you and you're are a bit... emotionally underwhelmed. :3

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE! Oh my God, that coffee there is the best.

Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
I'm a non-smoker. Don't mind a beer or two, but that's pretty much all my biological system can take within a day without shutting down. :D

Can we hang out?
I should think so!

Other cons you may go to?
No other furry one this year, no. However, you might spot me on the German Doctor Who con Timelash later this year, in case our fandoms are crossing the streams and align. ;)

How can I find you at the con?
How about a photo for reference? It might be a year old now, but I don't think I changed that much since then. ;)
Also: Follow the LOUD WEIRD SHATTERY NOISE. It might be my old 8mm camera in the process of filming. :)

Can we go out for a dinner?
Sure. :)

Are you buying art?
Could very well happen! In case I find something for my wall. (I'm a very picky bugger when it comes to that.) In any case, I will be more looking out for books, comics and tokens and such.

What do I have to watch out for, when I am meeting you?
Did I mention MY BAD EARS yet? Gawd, do I have bad ears.

What is the best way to contact you?
Twitter and Telegram, I'd say. Twitter is draakaoru. As for Telegram: Ask first. I also have Skype of course, but it tends to be wonkymonkey on my phone, so I might not always be aware of a message coming in.

May I kidnap you to my room?
Only if it's not for screwing. ;) (As if, lol)

You look pretty tired, are you ok?
I don't know? Ask? XD

Last time/last con/last meet/last chat we talked so much and now you forgot my name?
Names are difficult, sorry! But I remember personalities. And faces, with a little luck. :)

I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that?
I guess so? Ask?

So I just might as well. :P

Any questions, dear journalists?

It's after midnight here... but since my mind feels criminally untired (Makes sense after all! Got a looong shift ahead tomorrow, and there's nothing just as wonderful as going to work after very little sleep), I can just as well spend my time writing a journal entry. :P That 4 week old streaming notice on my profile was beginning to annoy me anyway.

Well, anyway! While looking through my gallery earlier the day I noticed that it's now a full year since I started drawing my comic "Jolson & Jones", or at least the Mark II version of it. Of course, you wouldn't know it from the number of pages. The plan was to have a page for each week... and obviously I failed to deliver. So in rough numbers I'm actually 2 months behind, and the page I finished today should have been uploaded in mid-April. ;) I'm not really sure what the reason for this is and why exactly I slowed down so much, but it sure is quite frustrating. Especially when I look at these pages and think "But there's nothing particularly complicated about them? What took you so long?!".

I have to say though that I'm beginning to feel that I'm putting more into the comic than I get out of it. It does feel good to finally create all these pages that sat inside my brain for far too many years now, and there's a certain satisfaction to see them actually finished. The trouble is though... I hardly get to do anything else. Ideas for other things are piling up like nobody's business, half sketched out pages for other comics do too - and that's actually even more frustrating than churning out pages of my "main work" at an increasingly slow rate. And then there's the feedback, which is rather tepid to say the least. ^^ Of course, I'm not doing the comic to collect faves and comments! But when you do a long-term project that doesn't really stir much interest in anyone, you inevitably begin to question things a little - no matter if you want to let your mind wander into that direction or not. :D But then again I also know that this comic probably just isn't the kind of thing that warrants a comment or even two per page. It isn't very digestable or even accessible. ;) The pages aren't standalone gags with a punchline at the end, they are all narratives that flow into each other (sometimes more, sometimes less successful). And that isn't exactly the type of thing that invites a comment. X)

BUT WELL! I'm not a quitter and I'm not giving up on it for a while yet. I've got a lot of ideas for the comic and there are still two storylines I really want to do after the current one is finished. There's a storyline involving the Illuminati up ahead, and then another one in which they make acquantance with a wolf suiter. ;3 And after that... I'm not all that sure if I want to continue. At least for the time being. Because, really, I do have the craving in my fingers to do something completely else for a change. So... well... I have to see what happens when I hit page 60something and whether I put the comic into hiatus or not. At least by then I will have introduced all the main cast and all the themes. And by then it'll be more clear what kind of comic "Jolson & Jones" actually is. At least more than it was by, say, page 14, 25 or something. ;)

So... well... Yeah.

Anyone want some tea?

At least I'm finally tired enough to effortlessly hit the hay. Good night! :D

...because I've got nothing better to do tonight. ;)

https://www.picarto.tv/live/channel.....aoruGreendrake

Working on some comic stuff of mine.

Doing some comic stuff!

Come and visit if you like! :)

https://furstre.am/stream/Kaoru

Yus. Let's do one of these again. Because the last time I did one one of these was a year ago or so.

So what do you want to know? ;)