Hello~

Gonna be heading to Anthrocon for the first time this weekend! Gonna be there Jun 29- Jul 2nd and leave on the 3rd.

Will be hanging about taking in the sites and meeting people, say hi if you see us!

-Kas and Seb

Howdies all~ Hope you're doing super swell!

Thank you all for the new watches! I'm so amazed at the reception to my return, and hope to continue showing off fun and kinky art to you all! =3 For those that have been here from the start, a huge thank you! I see you, and remember, and am so happy you're still here!

That said, we've been horribly busy the last few months! x.x We were put on a new project at work, and while we've managed to grab a promotion out of it, it took ALOT of work and stress to get here. On top of that, I was planning a move, which I just did today! I'm now out and on my own, on my own feet again! HUZZAH! Our own apartment to be in, our own space to be ourselves~

Still lots of unpacking to do, and I need furniture, but for now I'm all set here~! It's been so cool going through my old stuff, realizing what I still have and where I've come from. AND I FOUND PAGE 1 of the comic~! Hahahahaha might clean up and share later.

I'm really looking forward to being free of alot of the stressors that we're negatively affecting me. While I'm grateful to my folks for letting me stay there again after my life fell apart... it wasn't the best place for me x.x... Too many sleepless nights, and forced to live an earlybird lifestyle when we are 1000% night owls. So now, my schedule is mine! Sleeping in again yay!

Once I fully settle in and get unpacked, I plan on opening for commissions again! Look for an announcement after Dec 17th!

Ta ta for now~

"I am..." but the words stop there
I never can be sure of the answer
looking myself in the mirror
The simple act of declaring myself
empty and hollow, everything I try wrong
Why must the question, "Who are you?"
be so hard to answer when even
the names I choose
feel wrong

The ritual question, the first of every encounter
The moment chose the reply, as was the plan
One name for those I felt alien
One to those I felt kin
Yet why must it feel wrong
Why must it feel right
At once
Had it only been known
The question was wrong

Kas here. Tired, sleep sched is kinda wonky, so it'll be just me, save on bandwidth. Still drawing alot, yay! Some ups, some downs, but overall fine, just in like.... a weird amount of transition, everywhere in my life. Honestly some things have been rough earlier(and kinda lately) but I feel like I'm taking more appropriate care and rest for us, this time around.

I lost contactwith my long time best friend, probably permanently this time. Am and was sad about it but, perhaps for the best. Not so much is me being kicked form a discord server that meant alot to us. I, me Kas was responsible for that one, and did and still hurts. I feel guilty for depriving better me's from something so joyous, but what can we do, judgement is rendered.

New old friends, new good friends, and new challenges to my beliefs that continue to remind that life is both black and white, along with the grey.

Pretty certain we've got a good degree of ADHD, and I think it's perhaps due to alot of the events in my life. Well, now I know and accept it, can manage that.

Am certain more then ever that we're plural, there is much and more evidence coming to light, as we reflect.

Good enough time, so we'll reveal that there are two others, tangled up in here, with me and Seb. Not quite easy to call them to front, but at this point fairly certain no others, as communication is easy and we've been calling and looking about XD.
Mendel is a guy, and I'd describe him as a punk. Last and not least is Pheo, and she's a bit unique in here in that yah, she's female. Which has led us (and OMG me ) to a big kinda connundrum of like, if she's female, with our body, then she's trans, but can we as our unit claim to be? We're kinda overall going with nonbinary for now but like, its all really messy.

Another thing eating us up right now, well I guess mostly Seb, is recent drama around a figure he interacted with a handful of times that he quite frankly looked up to, I now realize. Some of the allegations are damning by society, some actually serious. But I'm old enough now, and seen enough of these shake out to know I cannot take EITHER sides word seriously. Especially in the modern age, where any little piss ant can say whatever they damn thing they want, along with the degree of absolute polarization among things. And FURTHERMORE..... it's not really any of myselves' business, right? The best thing would be to unfollow, leave that drama that completely doesnt effect me behind, leave the server. No one really knows me, a faceless name among hundreds. But like, I can see people hurting around, their other fans and associates, and I cannot bring myself to abandon people directly in my path I can reasonably help. Even if its just being a faceless name with some encouraging words and happy vibes. Jeeze and like, wow I guess we've grown attached, to some of these other names... huh.

I believe we should not be condemned for our mistakes, but only so long as we are willing to learn from them, and if we've injured others, repentance is required. So I sit, and observe, and maybe bring some joy to someone who needs it nearby, but I will not judge without sufficient evidence and facts. Nevertheless, my guard remains ever vigilant here.

Wow ok I guess alot to get off my chest.... maybe we should do more of these, solo journals hmm.

-Kas

July is over, much has happened.

I am thankful that my art drive is unaffected now, though of course time has become limited with the new job. Still working, mostly need to figure out how to handle my time and commitments better. 7 years is a long time to do... basically nothing ha.

Not that all has been great, took a big hit to myself when I spouted off in anger and got banished from the Moon. u.u; Entirely my fault for which I am deeply remorseful. Though... I wish it could be just that but there's a REEK of some... other motive behind the ban. Hope my doubts are unfounded. Getting back to my previous maximum in positivity and aiming higher.

Now! Planned a trip at the end of August to visit the bay area and some friends, including a new bestie! I'm a little sad that one of the contacts I really wanted to see are just... not reachable and havent been online, but I guess I can just chill around SF for a bit XD. Miss the food! Will be eating soooo much!

A little(a very lot) concerned because my mother came down the big C, and pissed BEYOND belief on how both parents are treating the whole things. A casual 'Oh it turns out I have covid, sorry!" while sitting on the front room couch, while I'm getting ready to walk out the front door FEET from her. Two days later she's still mostly hanging out there instead of, you know, in her room. So ofc I've been exposed by now, and so far with the extra isolation from that side of the house, mask wearing and hand washing, I've not gotten sick, and test clean. So far. I have my vaccine but still... If I do there is only JUST enough time for me to recover and be clear long enough to take the trip. So ofc, anxious.

Thinking I'm getting a handle on work, but lately, with alot of P0 incidents going on with major changes(CDCI is .... ) plus google meltdowns in Europe, there's been alot of late nights. Hoping that now, with a better handle on things and more control of my own future planning due to that, I think I can now give myself a relatively easy 7 or so hours of work each day, plus all the on call stuff.

Probably time I find a good therapist, again, but that is always difficult. First I gotta find a primary doctor, finally got insurance so I can but DAMN is it nearly impossible to do any reasonable search. STILL. All accomplishable.

Oh my haven't slept and should. Haha.

You guys.....

I'm not straight u.u

...


HAHAHAHAHA As if that wasn't obvious just looking at my page for 2 seconds. No, that's not what I'm revealing.

We are plural.

There we go. If you don't know what that means that is FINE, it's pretty rare as far as we can tell.

First of it's difficult to explain, due to the stigma around multiple personality disorders, which is itself an outdated term, replaced with Dissociative Identity Disorder in the modern era. Media portrays the most extreme, fantastical versions possible, with little relevance to reality for the vast majority. That we were raised to believe that it's bad mental illness is a big part of why it took us so long to accept and understand it. But nevertheless, it is what people are most familiar with.

Like most self-identities, plural covers a large spectrum. What's true for one system may be incomplete for another. The basics, however, is that plurals consider their selves to have more then one distinct persons inhabiting a single brain. An oversimplification, but I wanna stick to the important points.

For ME, there are two distinct persons in here(here being the meat processor piloting the meat avatar by which we interact with the world). While our system might be similar to other systems, it is also vastly different to others, but every system is unique as far as my research has found. There is very little good info.

So who am I, or rather We? Well first off, a vast majority of the time you will never notice anything different between us and a person with a singular identity. We're rather integrated with each other, to the point it is difficult to impossible to hide most thoughts and emotions from the other. At times, we can channel one, giving their personality the most control of the whole mind, usually when working with particular interests or desires. But the other times, when one of us was particularly down, we've cut each other off, leaving one alone and, quite frankly, it was miserable. At our best and healthiest, we're intertwined, a constant conversation begetting the platform you see. A good example would be Garnet, from Steven Universe. Dragon ball fusions, and marvel symbiotes are also a similar idea, though less close. We do not dissociate: whoever is in charge has full read-write access to all the store of memories and ideas, and there is never a discontinuation of consciousness(outside sleep). And in normal conversation, we're probably just going to default to 'I' and other singulars, both for convenience and because in the moments when our sync is high, they are appropriate.

So now we've told you about the both, what about each individually? Well, if you've looked through my gallery, you've seen them. Kas, or Kasirith, the coyote, is one. Seb, or Sebastian, now a ram and once a fenra, is the other. The characters in my art are their two fursonas. But notice that I said 'my' there? In that moment, Kas was speaking up, art is his skill. Due to the nature of our integration, Sebastian can as well, but he doesn't have much the patience XD.

Just discovering this has been a fantastic boon for my life. Before, we ALWAYS struggled with label's and categories. Coming out was so hard because all I really had to go on was 'I'm not straight'. My feelings would bounce back and forth, sometimes feeling two conflicting things at the same time. "Oh maybe I'm mostly gay, or maybe I'm pan, or maybe asexual? But am I a guy? I'm happy with these parts sometimes and sometimes I'm not, while at the same time feeling like I should look different half the time." Well, our self discovery has made that trivial. Of course we have conflicting feelings, because we have different sexualities and gender identities!

Sebastian is Male, Bisexual leaning towards gay, and gregarious. He loves making all kinds of friends and is an insatiable kinky horndog.
Kasirith is Genderfluid, Demi-sexual, and somewhat a private loner. He wants close friends and is Kinky as all fuck, but disinclined toward strangers.

Crazy huh!?

So many of our past experiences, thoughts, and feelings make sense when we view it through the lens of pluralism. We're never alone! But that doesn't mean we don't get lonely, because it turns out we still need other people to connect with, else the conversation dies.

So what do you call us?
Well, we're still kinda figuring that out. For now, Ophiuchus, it's our platform name, but I ain't going to get upset if you call me Kas(Kasirith). Kas has been the face and front in the fandom, and old habits die hard. But as it stands, our meat avatar doesn't have a furry name XD. Not that it doesn't have any, it's got our legal given name! Cause we've always kinda liked it actually, but never felt it was "me"(us).

What happens if you address one of us specifically?
Both will hear the question, but will often now allow the other free reign, though still chiming in and offering corrections form time to time. Our thought-speech interactions are far more rapid then normal speech. But this is new to us, and right now it takes alot of our social gauge to pull off. Much less since ending my depression and less still with my self discovery, but a significant amount still. And with a pretty strong introvert brain, the meter refills slowly, so we're learning to take breaks. There's been alot to discuss too, since figuring this out, which also takes alot of just energy! Still, I am confident with time and practice the gauge and refill rate will improve.

How do you know this isn't just all in your?
Do you know where you are right now? In your head. In the end, that defines our reality.

Ok but what if you imagined it?
S: Haha! Jokes on you I don't have an imagination! (K: we both also have aphantasia)

Finally, because I think it's this important: We know this is weird and rare. We LOVE weird and rare. So we are not ashamed of it. In fact, it feels like a blessing.
---

When I entered June, I had already begun the process of self discovery and acceptance, and really wanted to be able to draw a pride flag or something to commemorate. But I ran into alot of the same issues trying to figure it out. Then, suddenly I met someone who helped put the pieces together, a dear new friend! So while things happened a little too late in the month to make a picture, I got something far more valuable: an introduction to myself. So I write this to share, both to codify our thoughts and feelings, as well as give others information that might help them on their own self-discovery and acceptance.

((PSSSST did you read to the end? THANK YOU!! I'd love to hear your thoughts or questions. ))

I'm making this post to say that I am fully back. I intend on continuing to improve upon my work to push out more fun stuff for you lovable weirdos! Also because I wanna see more of my own kinky stuff XD. Furthermore, I have plans! Specifically, I wanna make a comic. More below on that, but first it should give a little backstory on what the hell has been going on.

7 years ago my life fell apart. I had been dealing with poor relationships and a divorce, when my job at Microsoft was ripped away from me. Hilariously, I happened to be out for surgery to repair a torn ACL in my right foot, got an invitation that was critical to attend, and sat in a meeting of 500+ employees as well we're unceremoniously laid off.

Getting a job right away was impossible, I was still recovering from my surgery, and was going to need months of physical therapy. Eventually I was well enough to start searching, but something has happened to the industry: for some reason all the big companies decided they were going to get rid of QA and make the engineers do testing. Added to that the huge wave of engineers seeking work, and I found myself unable to land anything.

More bad things happened, my car was totaled because I lent it to someone, and even thought my insurance SHOULD have covered it, because it involved a fucking deer, they got away with not helping. I was forced to take a job at best buy, which was ok as far as jobs went, but fucking paid nothing close to what was needed to live in the bay area and I was needing to walk about a mile to get there. Then the store move, turning that into two miles of walking each day. I was exhausted and eventually was one too many days late ( by less then 15 min mind you) so ofc I was fired. And this began my spiral of depression.

Tried to find another job, but ended up having to move back to Colorado into my parents house. I was ashamed, defeated, and completely hopeless. Over the last few years I've struggled with suicide, crappy customer service jobs, and for many months at a time being completely and utterly penniless.

And then around March this year something finally clicked, or broke, or whatever. I found myself able to do things, finally started drawing again, and getting motivated. Then I was hired at the place I work now, back as a QA eng and actually useful once again. Nothing really changed either, so I have no idea how I just... Woke up.

I still have depression, I had it long before since childhood and I'll have it till the day I die. It's a nasty fucking spiral of feelings beyond the worst emotions, a hollow void I don't have to look into.

So way, can't claim to have figured anything out, but I'm done letting it control me. My goals are simple now: do decent at my job, work on my art, and be social with friends. And of course, work on my comic.

A little about my plan: a good 20years ago now, when kingdom hearts one and two were in their hayday, me and my best friend hatched a story. This fan comic, spanning at least 9 unique and well thought out worlds over 3 acts, would tell the story of a group of characters battling against a force literally eating the world's from the inside, one beyond dark and light. We still have most of our notes and planning. Some of it is in my gallery, hidden in plane view. And I want to make it real. I'm older, much more cynical and with much higher standards, and I still think this story is amazing, and I want to share it with people.

So expect to see more of me in the future, I don't plan on going anywhere this time. Somehow my art has managed to improve somewhat despite me not picking up the tablet and I'm going to take it as a blessing. My coauthor and I have been discussing the project, and I hope to be able to share some concepts and stuff with you soon.

Currently, I'm in my second week of my new job, which is why I've slowed down a bit again. This will change as I get more confident in the role and have more free time. I've been working on some pictures on and off throughout the time, though I ended up getting sick the last few days. Never convenient timing but things will eventually calm down. Also kinda fell into a rabbit hole of rp ing haha, but I count that as a success breaking out of my social isolationism. Soon more art, friends, soon!

So I haven't touched this in a while.

I still exist, and have been drawing a bit more in the recent months, trying to keep myself motivated.

The last 8 years have been hell. Trying to pick up the remaining pieces of my life and move on. Mostly just need SOMETHING stable to get back on my feet. Maybe art will help, we'll see.

I'm not leaving, but since invariably some will I am pragmatic!

Weasyl: https://www.weasyl.com/~kas
InkBunny: https://inkbunny.net/kasirith
SoFurry: https://kasirith.sofurry.com/

I will continue to post sketches and everything between FA and W, but usually am too lazy to update the others with anything other then finished.

As for the sale to IMVU

It's disappointing that this happened and then we found out much later. This is unacceptable considering previous comments assuring transparency. That already makes motives suspect. I'd have been much better placated by announcing the intention beforehand. FA has always been privately owned, but this sort of behavior to me suggests disregard for the general population of the user base.

Companies take advantage of small time owners all the time, promising they will not change anything, then a couple months later everything's different. Look at what happened to Blizzard after Activision bought them.

However, at the very least I'm glad it's out of hands proven incapable. Companies motivated by profit are at least predictable and consistent. We'll have to take a risk with the devil we don't know, knowing that we can pull ourselves, our content, and our patronage out at any time.

Damn I've been drawing with mechanical pencils for nearly a decade, mostly due to habit(and supply) from college days. Finally bought a big pack of good quality HBs at a walgreens while picking up something for this death illness I've had for the last 2 weeks. Getting strep throat after/because of having the flu is.... much less then fu. Due to that downtime I've made a few new sketches and cleaned up some other old favorites I've never posted.

When I wasn't playing SimCity like a zombie. Did you know that 4 way intersections are massively worse for traffic then 3 way?

So lucky fuzzy feathery scaly slippery smooth palz! I've got a small horde of my favorites I'm gonna scan and post in the next 24 hours... Hope you enjoy! Just a little something to prove I've not died, despite diseases best efforts.


As a bonus the electric sharpener I've had on my desk for for longer then a decade still works perfectly. Loyal little guy has been here all this time through 3 states and half a continent, sucking up a small trickle of standly power just waiting do his job like a pro.


Rambling done!

-Kas

Sup furs! Will be in FC today, and today only! See if you can spot the giant human wearing a Kas badge =D

Hiya All,

I've been pretty much silent this past two years and I wanted to give my friends and fans a bit of an explanation.

I hadn't been living in a really good situation for a while. I was rooming with someone who used to be a great friend and things got complicated and very difficult and negative. This was good about 1 year and awful for 4 more. Work was also becoming a horrible chore and rapidly changing, and I found myself falling into my worst depression yet. I wasn't able to produce much of anything, let alone art.

About a year ago I got a break. I met some new friends, got a boyfriend, and got my place to myself. I was happy for a bit but work kept getting worse, and so did the commute.

So with the help of my boyfriend I finally decided to get help. I started seeing a therapist 5 months ago, and things looked up for a while. I started doing art again, and I made the decision to get my ankle, which ended up being tendonitis, fixed.

Except! Not 2 days after I got the surgery, during my vacation I took to recover, I got laid off. Woo hoo. Crippled for a month and have to find work.

So I've been doing a lot of working on myself recently, interviewing for a job, pushing myself to do more art, trying to enjoy video games again. It's been tough, gained alot of weight. Fortunately I had started the job search before, since I wanted a new one anyway, and MS gave me decent resources with my severance.



Recently, I got on some meds to actually start helping. I think they are doing well so far, we'll see. Was a rough adjustment, but luckily I had no where to be =D. We'll see how things pan out but hopefully, this will help me turn things around.

So that's pretty much the jist of things, just wanted everyone to know why things have been so sparse from me for so long.


Peace.

Kas

So.... someone is creating an application to allow you to video chat and use a speaking avatar with full motion and emotional range.

Check it out:

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/facerig

This is going to be great for furs I think =P

http://www.serebii.net/pokedex-xy/706.shtml
I am so f*ck*ng happy about this I think I will get the game after all. Damnit.

Suggestions welcome, no guarantees =D

I want to check it out, anyone want to share an invite?

In return I'll give you a free sketch of the character of your choosing, provided that said character is not your own.

EDIT: Thanks to  sivel, I got one! Thanks bud!
Still poking around, I'll update the gallery and stuff there later.

Well... I finally gave in. Soooo many people said it was good that netflix teleported me into the first awesome sauce that was My Little Pony:FIM. Why is this children's show soooo much fucking better then many of the adult crap out there?

Well looks like I got a new series to watch, I wasn't getting my fill with just Legend of Korra.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.ne.....19716544_n.jpg

Here come's peter cotton tail.

I hereby declare that Pistachios are my favorite nut. And the ice cream made with them is awesome.

Last year was rough. Lots that I had to go through and get over with, grow and learn, that sort of deal.

Art took a hit from anything post worthy, but I'm noticing now that I'm really getting back into it that my overall style is much improved. Have a fun new pic to show you guys once I finish the next stage, and I'm exceptionally proud of how it looks so far.

So here's to a new beginning. I'm rededicating myself to my art and my comic, and I'm plowing through character creation at a rate like nevah before.

Merry Christmas everyone, enjoy what life has brought you and what it's yet to bring.

Night~

Those that have left use don't want you to be sad they died. While an untimely death is something to be mourned,don't dwell on their dying, dwell on their life. We all have to die some day, and it's partially fear of this that makes us feel so bad when someone we care about dies. But do them and their memory honor by celebrating the life that was lived and is now returned, and resolving to take their memory and influence forward in living your own lives.

Hopefully these words provide some confort to those who have lost someone, including friends and family of Athus, whom I unfortunately did not get to chance to meet in this life.

Five sparks have faded
Four have been born
Three must soon clash
Two have been severed
One flickers to black.





((PS. I've gotten my ability and drive back =D))

Five sparks have faded,
Four have been born,
Three must soon clash, Two have been severed, One flickers to black.





((PS. I've gotten my ability and drive back =D))

Internet time dwindling to below 1 hour /day, so no updates will be coming for quite some time. Not dead though, and most of my issues are starting to be resolved.

At least I've finally started drawing again, when I have time.

Have a good summer!

-Kas

Here is my best answer to the meaning of life:

The meaning of life is to discover what that and all other reasons are. We are intrinsically driven as thinking creatures to find what the meaning of every event, action, and random occurrence. The universe is a paradox, the reason is to find the reason, and we determine the reasons we want to look for. Our purpose is to find the meaning of a meaningless equation.

Not because it's pointless, but because we accomplish it.

You know what, I've been failing, at the internet. I'm sorry. I've nearly got alot on lock, but with moving and getting married and setting up a life has been super fucking effort consuming, not to mention growing as a person in general.

I'm taking a break from the online world. This doesnt mean I'm gone forever, I'm coming back and you may, occasionally, see mee around, but I need to take care of the offline world for a second.

Aaah I'm going to miss the new friends i kinda made =D

See you later!