I do apologize for not getting them done sooner. A lot of you know that my family is going through a tough time right now with my mother's cancer, and recently it has gotten a lot harder.

I think I have come to the realization that, even though I have tried to find the drive to pick up a pencil or a paint brush more (hence the reason why I opened requests again), I think it has something to do with a state of depression I am in. I almost want to kick myself for not realizing it sooner. I had been thinking that it was just from my mental exhaustion from my new job and I didn't want to do much else than to unwind with a video game and escape from the world or sleep. However, with everything going on with my mother, I really think it is my own kind of depression.

Now I doodle off and on, mainly at work when it's dead, but it's nothing huge. But when I want to get at my list of requests or my own list of ideas I get the drive when I'm at work. When I get home it just... vanishes. I don't want to force myself to draw. Forcing it will probably make me push myself away from it more. Believe me, I have had moments where I'm feeling an urge to pick up a pencil. BUT IT ALWAYS HAPPENS AT WORK. XDDDD

Anyway... maybe I'm just extremely bad at taking requests... maybe I'm bad at time management... maybe I am worrying too much about my mother and I'm scared for her... I hate making excuses like this, but even my family has recognized that I haven't been drawing or painting since I got out of school. I'm just glad I was the first to say something to my father before he told me he was thinking the same thing.

I haven't forgotten about everyone on my list. I have a big ol' note in purple on my dry-erase mat above my bed that I see every day reminding me. I think Vix has been sleeping a lot recently.

Much love to you all.

Ok, the thing I've been thinking about (so we can get it out of the way) is an auction. A tiny one. I have a sketch in my book that was the base drawing for a commission I did a while back. It's no one in particular, so I thought I'd open it up to do a kind of cheap auction for your chance to be the character I sketched out. Still thinking about the details.

I'm kinda going in reverse order here. I'm getting excited for Christmas because I'm only really buying Vanguard cards for myself. The new set coming out 2 weeks prior finally has cards I want: SPike Brothers, the American Football-themed units of the Dark Zone. I also kinda wanna do some deck profiles on how I evolved with my Pale Moon circus, and maybe the other decks I play. We'll see how that goes.

POKEMON. Pokemon... I beat the champion this week and the ending made all my feels fall to the floor and shatter like glass. I won't spoil what happens, but DAMN if it wasn't the best ending for a Pokemon game. But really what I'm getting at is the Friend Safari. I only have 1 friend code on my DS that is fire-type. I'm looking for someone who has a Fire-type Safari with a Vulpix/Ninetails in it. Also, none of the Poison-type Safaris I've seen has a Grimer/Muk. And does anybody have a GHOST Friend Safari type? 83

Personally, I have a Normal-type friend Safari. So far, all I know is I have a Lilpup and Loudred. I don't know if my last one is Ditto yet.

Uh... so... yeah, I guess that's it for now. XD
Have a good weekend everyone!

So yay, last night I started a new world in Minecraft and found a great starting point next to 3 differnt biomes and an NPC village.

I try to update Minecraft to have the new horses and biomes, and all of a sudden it won't take my Minecraft name and password, THE ONE IT'S ALWAYS BEEN. I don't know if it's being sent to my inbox or  iamrondo's inbox because he was the one who bought me Minecraft.

So now I can't play Minecraft for a while or I have to get a brand new game of it!

GRAAAARGH!!!! I just fucking ragequit. This is all I wanted to do tonight, and now I think I lost EVERY world I had in the game. Just... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

I hate a lot right now.
I hate... how my mother is still trying to recover from cancer and is still getting sick every day.
I hate how my two best friends are broken up after a 7 year relationship and are hurting.
I hate how I can't let shit that's over and done with go, mainly the shit storm that happened at the end of my final semester at college.
I hate the feeling os suspecting my own father may have a problem with me and isn't telling me about it.
I hate not having the drive to pick up a pencil or paint brush sometime during the day.
I hate how my father, who was all about trying to make sure my brother and I kept our faith, now feels that he has lost his own faith. I have never seen him this discouraged, angry, and lost because of my mother's cancer.

I hate it all... and most of the time I don't know how I'm going through it.


*Sigh* Forgive me... it's just one of those times when I need to vent.

May you all see a witch fly across the moon, hear Jack Skellington scaring the mischief-makers, and your pillow cases be filled to bursting with candy.

I will be at work all day and giving out candy when I get home. I haven't been able to trick-or-treat since I started college and there's no one really to go with. So meh. *shrugs* another day, more money in my pocket, and I have an excuse to wear my corset vest. :P

Have a safe and fun night everyone!

Kayden: Hey everyone.

I had a sudden idea, and instead of asking opinions of whether I SHOULD do it, I went and did it anyway. SO NYEH! >:c

I went and added a journal footer section to my journal entries. But for what, you ask? Well when you look it's a list! These are pretty much---

Vix: MY IDEAS I GAVE TO KAYDIE TO DRAAAW!~

Kayden: Vix, I was supposed to say---

Vix: Yup yup yup! From last time when he said I glompedhisfacewhenhewaseatingbreakfastandihadideasforhimand---

Kayde: VIX!

Vix: *spins around and head tilts* Meep?

Kayden: You're talking too fast, dude.

Vix: Oh... sowwy! *spins back around* Okay, so, this was the list he jotted down!

Kayden: ...Thanks, Vix. *mumbles* Even though I was supposed to tell them... *goes and slumps in a corner*

Vix: Okie-tay! So keep an eye out for more stuff to be added to Kaydie's journal foot! But why he decides to write ideas on his foot--- HEY KAYDIE, HOW COME YOU WRITE IDEAS ON YOUR FOOOOOOT?

Kayden: *softly bumps his head against the wall repeatedly* good lord when this kit's awake he's a handful... Just... Just, go back to sleep Vix.

Vix: NU! *blows a raspberry and zooms away*

Kayden: *grabs a net* god dammit, not again. Keep an eye out on my journal footer for more ideas to come guys! I'm giving you a chance to see what kind of ideas come to mind for me and what I want to draw in the end. Now if you'll excuse me, GET BACK HERE, VIX! *runs off with the net in hand*

September 25, 2013, Kayden is just getting home from work and a little kit with wings is floating around his head.

Vix: Hey! Hey Kayden! Kaaaaay! Kaaayyyyydiiiiieeeeeee!!! Kaydie! Heeeeey!

Kayden: What, Vix?

Vix: You know what you should draw? You should draw *lists off a shit-ton of drawing ideas that involve colored pics, paintings, and comics*

Kayden: *Hurriedly writes down all the little kit with wings is saying before I forget it as the images are popping into my head* Well, yeah, that's great and all, Vix, but what about MY LIST OF REQUESTS I HAVE TO DO?!

Vix: Oooooooh... hmm... lemme think about that, okay-kay Kaydie?

Kayden: *facepalms* Just... just go back to sleep...


The next morning...


Vix: KAAAAAYYYYDEEEE---*glomps the musclefox's face*---en.

Kayden: MMMF! *Tears the fox off my face as I come back into my room from eating breakfast* Vix, what?! Why are you glomping my face at 7:30 in the--- never mind, you've done it earlier than this...

Vix: Kaydenkaydenkaydenkaydenkaykaykaykaykaaaaaaaay, I know how you can so your little brudder Sirus's request noooowwwww. :3

Kayden: NOW you think of it?! *Rubs my temples and grabs a pencil to write it down*


And that is how I got the idea to do  sirus's request. Will I have the drive to pick up my sketchbook when I get home from work today? Or will I slump and take a nap after dealing with the infinite bullshit of people complaining about stuff that's out of my control to handle?

STAY TUNED! =D

My job is going well, mom is (hopefully) done with chemotherapy *knocks on wood*, I'm getting paid a lot, I'm learning how to drive and it's going well, but why the hell am I feeling so unaccomplished?

Oh yeah...

I have the drive at work to come home and draw or paint, but when I get home all I want to do is veg out and fall asleep. My older brother got his first car after 6 years yesterday, and I still l have yet to get my license. I have no access to a gym anymore like I had in college and I have no one to go with, all the while watching my older brother, who has always been smaller than me, bulk up. It's not like I'm gaining weight or getting fat, but... it's one of those things that makes me ask, "What the hell am I doing with myself?"

I think it just all comes down to me wanting to see what my college loan payments are going to be like come November. I have about a month or so left and I feel a bit safe with making a reasonable monthly payment from my income. It makes me nervous that I now have such a big bill hanging over my head that it's keeping me from wanting to pay for a driving school or a gym membership.

So... does anyone have any suggestions for me?... I mean, a lot of you know how tough it is to do anything after coming home from a daily 9-5 work shift. How do you find the drive to do something when you come home from work? I want to break the rut I'm in, so any kind of suggestion is appreciated.

Kumquat. Shenanigans. Tomfoolery.

I have more, but I can't think of them right now. Plus, this is mainly to push my last journal down since that issue has been resolved from what I'm hearing.

So yeah. XD

Hey everyone, go look at  lionor's latest journal.

A situation has come up where he my be evicted this coming Sunday. Go read his journal to find out more. Send any kind of help you can or spread the word, please!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5030139/

For the first time in the 5+ long years I have been going to my card shop to play any kind of card game, today was the first time I had ever gone UNDEFEATED. It was the sneak peek of Vanguard for the Nova Grappler and Oracle Think Tank extra boosters that had just been released/are going to be released this coming weekend. I used my Raquiel Power Break deck for my Pale Moons.

The first round of the tournament was against Oracle Think Tank. The guy who plays them usually plays a little too slow for everyone's liking, but the way I played made us finish before a few people. The first game went to be when I double critical triggered him up to 6 damage from 3. He didn't guard because he would have been safe with just one critical showing up, but he didn't count on me pulling a second critical. The second game went to me because I was able to pull off my soulblasting combo of Raquiel and Magical Partner to bump Raquiel up to 26,000 power. Even if he could guard he couldn't stop both of my next attacks, my attackers being a 20k Midnight Invader and a 19k Dark Lord of Pale Moon.

Next round was against Cocytus Power Break Granblue. I never underestimate Granblue just because it's an outdated deck and won't have any new support until Set 13. If you can play it right you have a chance. The guy who uses Granblue at my shop knows how to use them. I was a nervous wreck our first game, but I felt pretty confident I was going to win the round, and I did. Both games had dwindled our guards down to the very last card, but in the end I was too much for him, again using my strategy of 26k Raquiel in the second game.

Third and final round was against Kagero. THIS particular player always borrows this deck. The DOTE deck: Dragonic Overlord, The End for those of you who don't know. This match was pushed to a third game. First game was mine and I can't remeber how I won it, sorry. The next game, however, was kinda half-assed on both our parts because when we started he said, "You know, we're the two who are undefeated right now, so if HE *points* loses then we both get the Battle Sister mats for the top 4 people." So I say, "OK, then let's just keep going for fun."

He made such good top deck pulls that game that had prevented him from becoming grade locked. I had to let at least one attack for DOTE go through, and then he persona blasts, but this was early game. What REALLY got me was him finally using Dragonic Overlord's skill to Counterblast 3 and to go after a rear guard. I was forced to use up more cards to guard and we went to third game. By the time I ride Raquiel a second time though to pull out a nice 10k from the soul, he scooped saying that he had nothing to stop anything with which I was going to fill my field.

So yay! I got a Battle Sister, Fromage play mat as my prize for going undefeated today. I'm quite proud of myself and my circus. This isn't the first time I made top four in a tournament, and I think I've only made top 2 once or twice. Going undefeated is a great feeling, especially while using a deck that I know is mine and mine alone. I've felt that the Pale Moons have always been my clan and I know how to use them the best. To win a tournament with them makes me love them even more. ^w^

Also, pulling a few of the Death Army units for Nova Grapplers in my sneak peek packs makes me want to try them. I haven't decided yet, but I think I may hold off my money until Christmas for another huge set of Vanguard. That's when more Spike Brothers come out. Yay beefy football players! XD

Happy Labor Day everyone!

http://world.doubutsu-uranai.com/




You are Orange Panther.
Unlike your looks, you are very easy to get on.
You are good natured, and people will open their hearts to you.
You tend to be indifferent to give consideration for other people around you.
You have high pride, and you wish for the situations to be favorable to you.
You are not good at formulating ambition and tactics.
You are smart enough to be good at cooperating with others in order to gain friends.
You have an excellent flexibility to adapt to new environments.
Your good sense of humor can help you overcome any situation.
Your good nature and smartness makes you good at persuading other people.
You can effectively carry out work even if it is your first time.
But your sharp sensitivity makes you faddish, and you tend to be rather moody.
Your emotional ups and downs tend to be great, and you may be weak in controlling your self.
You tend to be troubled over the gap between your ideals and reality.
You will be able to overcome some difficulties with the help of those around you.
You will be more successful if you can show perseverance.
You will be good at any job you do.
You may be suited especially as a doctor or something related to computers.



Hahaha, after not being able to do as much as I want with my mother, HELLZ NAW I'm not being a doctor. XD

I just got home from work after leaving one of the two files I've been trying to submit to upload FROM LAST NIGHT. And still it did not go through.

So I'm going to give it a couple days. I plan on finally upgrading my Operating System to Mountain Lion (meaning I'm still using Leopard and I need to purchase Snow Leopard first). This way I have a more recent OS and I can use Google Chrome instead of Safari. I'm fed up with Safari and the minor problems that have built up to sheer frustration over the 4-5 years I have had this laptop. I'm gonna upgrade to Snow Leopard and then to Mountain Lion this weekend and I'll try again on Monday to submit these last two files. From there I think I'll be safe submitting the requests I have done/have yet to do.

So no more angry foxy now since I have come up with a plan.

But what went through my mind was this: I don't get random gift art often, and when I see better/more popular artists getting gifts from people left and right it makes me feel like I'm just a cast off from everyone. I finally got random surprises from people and I'm overjoyed. So, as a way to say thank you is to post these images I had received. And now I can't even do that with half of them because either FA or my laptop won't let me. That is what frustrated me the most.

In temporary substitution, I formally thank  sevlowwolf,  tristanbeaner,  apatheticwolf, and  kartos for the random surprise art you had done recently, and I thank anyone who had given me surprise art in the past.

Let's see how the weekend goes. Enjoy Labor Day everyone!

I don't know what the hell is going on now. It could be my connection, it could be FA (since Safari is telling me that FA is dropping the connection from the server and it's telling me to wait a few minutes). These images are NOT oversized or the incorrect file type. At maximum, they are below 450 KB and under the dimensions for the 1280x1280 size requirement. I've tried other files that are under 100 KB and now they won't even work. I'm surprised that I was able to post those three I posted last night and this morning. AND ALL OF THEM ARE .JPG OR .JPEG FILES!!!

I'm severely PO'd by now. I finally get a bunch of random surprises for gift art and I CAN'T EVEN GET TO POST THEM. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.

If anyone has any suggestions for me, please comment. I'm very concerned now that I can't even post regular drawings like the requests I have and anything else.

HELP!

Hey guys. So I just let FA run during the night to try and submit a file but it never went through to the screen to type up the description.

Anyone else having problems submitting problems like this? It's kinda annoying me that I wanna post a 212 KB and a 400 KB image and these just won't go through. =\

EDIT: I quit Safari, deleted all my cookies, tried re-submitting, and I'm STILL waiting for the 212 KB file to go through. Any ideas guys?

EDIT 2: So I tried a smaller file I had (see Nice and Thick in my gallery), and that seemed to work just fine. I shrunk the two files to below 150 KB and I'm going to see how that goes.

EDIT 3: I may have figured out the problem. Both images that I want to post have dimensions that exceed the 1280x1280 max size. Thought it had to do with file size. I was half correct. LOL
I'm gonna try that and see how it goes.

Edit 4: OK, I readjusted the size on both of the images that I want to put up and they STILL WON'T GO THROUGH TO THE DESCRIPTION INPUT.

I'm at a loss here. Can anyone help me? Any suggestions? Anyone else going through this same inconvenience????

So yeah, remember that part-time job I told you all about a few journals back? Well they started me on full-time LAST THURSDAY on my third day!

So far it's been alright. I'm enjoying it a lot more than any retail position I've had. I'm constantly doing something and the days have been flying by. I'm surprised it's even Hump Day right now!

OK, just wanted that quick little update. Gotta get ready for work now. X3

I promised a bit more detail, so here's a journal!


Okay, so as far as requests I will have 3 slots open at a time so I won't be too drowned in them. I shudder at the memory of the Yu-Gi-Oh requests I did once upon a time... So yeah, 3 slots.

Please keep it at only one character, but I may entertain no more than 2 characters in a single request image. Since I won't be making money from these I don't care what kind of character you ask me to draw. For example, I wouldn't do an image of Sly Cooper in a commission because I do not own Sly, but I would do a request image of him since I am making no money on using his image and the copyright would be credited accordingly.

In my journal posted this morning I had stated that all request images will be SKETCHES when I originally present them on here and will only go further into digital line art/color if I so choose in the future. So only expect sketches, that's all I'm saying.

If you would like to make a request, please note me. Do not comment on here or leave a shout on my page. NOTE ME NOTE ME NOTE ME. I WILL ignore your request if you leave a shout or comment on this journal/any journal of mine. I will read your request if you NOTE ME. I can't stress that enough. I also don't want spammed comments, kthnxbai.

One more thing! Please keep in mind that I will do these at my own speed. Don't expect it to be done the next day, and please don't bombard me with comments and notes saying, "where's my request? is it done yet? why isn't it done yet?" Just be patient. I can understand someone saying those things if you COMMISSION me. So yeah, just be patient and we'll all get along just fine. :3

Umm... so yeah, that's all. Requests are now open!


EDIT: Just in case, and since they filled up so fast, I'll add an IN LINE list so no one feels like "aww, he's filled up already, i guess I can't ask." No no, please, ask! XD

First of all, thank you  lemonapoptarts for being the ONLY person who offered feedback in my last journal. I know some of you have a habit of this... "Holy crap, I have over 100 journals in my message inbox. I think I'll just keep the ones I want to read and delete the rest!" So yeah... but the ones who read this and didn't comment (that didn't talk to me through IM)... Y U NO COMMENT?


Anyway, just to start off I am re-opening requests, but to save myself from being bombarded by a crap-ton of people, let's just start off with having 3 slots for requests.

Requests will only include SKETCHES, and they will only be done at MY SPEED so please don't be pestering me "when is it gonna be done, when is it gonna be done?" When I get them done, that will be the answer to that. I will only go further with them (as far as doing digital line art or coloring) if I happen to like how the sketch turns out and if I have the time, so if anybody's request happens to get colored it's not because of special treatment.

Which reminds me, I have to update my commission list and prices...

Anyway, I had to quickly type this journal up. I gotta get ready for work! See you in about 8-9 hours! More details to come then!

Yeah, there's that college education grammar! Heh... *ahem* ANYWHO...


Lately I've been seeing some of my favorite artists post a lot. This, in turn, is making me feel like a lazy little foxy wishing I could pick up my sketchbook and start drawing again. And I can't tell you guys how long I've been waiting to pick up my brushes again and crank out a few paintings.

And then my biggest priority rears its ugly head: PAY OFF COLLEGE LOOOAAAAANS....

Which leads me to an update. I don't know if I had posted here that I started a second job recently at an A.C. Moore. Well... I have to drop that second job and keep my first. Before you get on my back about quitting something, there is a good reason for doing so. One of my best friends and her mother have offered me another job, the interview was already done, as well as a drug test. Both A.C. Moore and this new job offer me the same amount of hours, but this second job gives me better hours with which to work and a much better pay where I would average out about $1000 a month just from there. AND THAT'S JUST BEING PART-TIME. Plus, they'd love to have me work full-time once a couple of their temps leave, which would mean more money in my pocket to help pay back loans and start saving for important stuff!

You can see why I am excited about that, right? Back to the art problem though... As you all know, my mother is still fighting cancer. Being needed to be around to help her has impeded me from painting. I fear that with my clothes being so saturated in the substances that come with oil painting I would be endangering HER health more when I need to drop my brushes and run to help her. I may have to suck up that fear and at least TRY because we don't know how my paints would affect her.

In addition, I have to learn to not sit down and play games every time I have free time. Yes, video games and card games are my usual escape from everything. They relax me the most because they take my mind off of everything, and I'm encompassed in my own little world for a little while. I have to let my drawing and painting become that kind of escape for me again...

With that in mind, I just have a few questions.

1) How would you think of me opening requests again? THIS IS JUST ME ASKING, DON'T JUMP ON ME WITH A REQUEST RIGHT HERE BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT OPEN AGAIN YET OR OPEN AGAIN PERIOD!!! I'M ONLY LOOKING FOR OPINIONS HERE!

2) How would you think of me doing the iron artist challenge? All I understand about that is an artist does 100 drawings. I've seen most do them for $5 a pop.

3) How would you feel if I opened a kind of monthly random drawing for someone to get a piece from me? I'm thinking it's a $1 or $2 buy-in for your chance at getting your name drawn from a hat.

So yeah, that's about what I have been thinking as far as opening chances to get drawings from me. Nothing about badges yet because I would think I would have to get a laminator and my own set-up going to actually mail the badges out to everyone, so I don't think I can do that yet. Not to mention that the Bulge Badge idea may a bit inappropriate for a public setting...

QUESTION 4) IS the idea of the Bulge Badge TOO inappropriate for a public setting?... >>


So yeah, if you could provide any opinion to help me think of decisions it would be greatly appreciated. Please and thank you very much!

Have a good day everyone! I can't wait to read your comments!

---Kayden

OK, so pretty much this is just an update journal.

To get it out of the way: Family crap. Mom's been in and out of the hospital for close to a month now. Long story short she's just having so many issues it's not even funny anymore. She's back in the hospital this weekend because she thought she was having a bad reaction to the new chemo they put her on Monday, and this all occurred early Thursday morning. I'm just getting sick and tired of her not being able to stay in the hospital or at home for an extended period. It's been in and out for less than a week every time recently, and her not being able to stay home or in the hospital is what is wearing me down. *sigh* So yeah, kinda worn out at the moment.

There is another reason why I'm worn out as well, and that's because I HAVE A SECOND JOB! Yup, I got hired at an A.C. Moore (for those of you who don't know, it's an arts and crafts supply store). It's exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of the summer, and it can be a steady part time job through the school year while my first job drops off after Halloween. Gotta start saving to pay back college loans somehow, right?

Just as a reminder, I am still open for commissions. I'm also really thinking about opening needle felting commissions as well. As soon as I get more done I will post them just to see what you all think. If you're interested, let me know, please!

I still have my past semester's work to post. You know what, expect some pictures guys. I'm about to put some messages in your inbox!

12,000 page views already?

*chuckles* you know I drew something for my 10,000 page view milestone, but I never got around to coloring it? XD

Hey everybody! Today's the daaaaaay! The sun is shining, the tank is clean, and we are getting out of---

*GAAAAAAAAAAAASP*thetankisclean....

THE TANK IS CLEEEEEEAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!

D:

To paraphrase MLK, FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD IN HEAVEN, I AM FREE AT LAST!!!!!!

You guys are NOT going to believe what happened. I get there half an hour early from when I was meant to be called in. 20 minutes later my ex-roommate shows up and says "I want to drop all charges."

What goes through my head is, "WHAT?! YOU PUT ME THROUGH ALMOST 2 MONTHS OF FILING DOWN MY OWN NERVES AND YOU PULL THIS CRAP?!" I couldn't fucking believe it. I had to laugh at it all! I guess he finally came to his senses and realized how stupid he was for even starting this. It was all petty bullshit to begin with!

But fine. The charges were officially dropped, I can't argue with that. He is now out of my life and I couldn't be more thankful.

WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those of you who followed the previous chapters of this journal up until this point, this is just to let you know that I will be in court again for the follow-up hearing from the bullshit that happened 2 months ago. As far as I know all they will ask is if my ex-roommate and I had any contact over the last 2 months and they will throw it away.

I have been very nervous up to this point, but now that I think about it, I can't be as nervous anymore. In about 12 hours I will be home from this ordeal and FREE from that obsessive creeper. The only reason why I've been so negative about it is the fact that I now have to be in the same room as him yet again, and believe me it pisses me off to no end. However, I will never have to see him again. This whole court thing has only given him an advantage of making me upset about seeing him again, but now... I can be free in half a day... not even that... it's a peaceful feeling knowing that you will never have to be near the person who has given you the most grief in your life ever again.

Despite all that, appearing before a judge brings me no peace of mind just yet. I'll be waking up early to take a bus and subway down to the city. I'll post another journal as soon as I am able when I get back home.

Goodnight everyone. Wish me luck.

Much love,

---Kayden