...to me!

Yay.

...out of love.

1. Are your parents married or divorced? Married. Almost divorced when I was a kid.
2. Are you a vegetarian? Hells no.
3. Do you believe in Heaven? Not really.
4. Have you ever come close to dying? Almost drowned once, and was involved in the most anti-climactic or dangerous car crash ever.
5. What jewelery do you wear 24/7? My watch that my grandmother gave me.
6. Favorite time of day? Afternoon.
7. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Who doesn't?
8. Do you wear makeup? On stage, always. Foundation, blush, eyeliner, sometimes lip stuff as well. Offstage? Sometimes a bit of concealer.
9. Ever have plastic surgery? Never have, never will
11. What do you wear to bed? I'm the only person above 10 who wears full-out pajamas.
12. Have you ever done anything illegal? Nawh.
13. Can you roll your tongue? Yep!
14. Do you tweeze your eyebrows? Of course.
15. What kind of sneakers? Purple converse
17. What is your Hair colour? Brown!
18. Future child’s name? Probably something like Diana or Fiona or some shit like that.
19. Do you snore? A lil'.
20. If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? Florida. You'll never know why.
21. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Frederico, the Build-A-Bear my friends back home made me as a going away/birthday present.
22. If you won the lottery, what would you do first? Savings account! Because I'm boring.
23. Gold or silver? Titanium!
24. Hamburger or hot dog? Hamburgerrrr!
25. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Not doing this.
26. City, beach or country? City, bitches.
27. What was the last thing you touched? Cellular device.
28. Where did you eat last? On my couch, as always. My table is occupied by my binders and printer.
29. When’s the last time you cried? Earlier today during my last panic attack. I cry a lot, just not in front of people.
30. Do you read blogs? Usually.
31. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? I do every now and then because fuck yeah
32. Ever been involved with the police? Yeah, my house was broken into a few times a few years back.
33. What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap? Shampoo/Conditioner = Head and Shoulder's. I use body wash and Dove for soap.
34. Do you talk in your sleep? Nope!
35. Ocean or pool? I don't do shorts or bathing suits.
36. So, who has the original missing questions? Wha?
37. Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend? Two Rhaens, please and thank you.
38. Window seat or aisle? Window because fuck yeah clouds
39. Ever met anyone famous? Sat next to Eugene Levy at a play. Some of my teachers are pretty famous. Oh, and I'm related to Charlie Chaplin and Margaret Atwood.
40. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life? Hah! No, not yet.
41. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Neither! Suck on that.
42. Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey? Opraaaaaaah
43. Basketball or Football? Which one has the sticks?
44. How long do your showers last? 15 minutes exactly.
45. Automatic or do you drive a stick? I don't and never will drive. Me + wheels + moving faster than walking speed = aaaaaaaaaaah
46. Cake or ice cream? Ice cream.
47. Are you self-conscious? Terribly. Mostly about my nose and how quickly I speak.
48. Have you ever drank so much you threw up? I don't driiiiiink
49. Have you ever given money to a beggar? I have once or twice in the past.
50. Have you been in love? I have! It really didn't turn out so well and I'm still kind of bitter about it.
51. Where do you wish you were? Didn't I answer this before?
52. Are you wearing socks? Nope!
53. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Never
54. Can you tango? Yes I can! And salsa.
55. Last gift you received? My mother bought me a nice sweater when she came to visit for Thanksgiving.
56. Last sport you played? Ummmm...?
57. Things you spend a lot of money on? Groceriiiiiies :(
58. Where do you live? A city.
59. Where were you born? NS
60. Last wedding attended? Ummm... I think I was 12? I forget whose it was. I love weddings, despite never really going to any.
61. What is one thing you would like to accomplish before you die? I like to make people think it's to be a successful actor on Broadway, or something like similar to it, since I'm such a workaholic. But, the truth is, there's nothing more that I want than to be happily married and be a bit of a housewife.
62. Favorite cartoon? I don't really watch any
63. Most hated food? Greek. Tastes like feet. And not in a good way.
64. What’s your most favorite? Chinese.
65. Can you sing? I've been training since I was 8, so, yes. Yes I can.
66. Last person you instant messaged? Friend of mine.
67. Last place you went on holiday? New York City. Coincidentally, also the next place I'll be on holiday.
68. Favorite regular drink? Caffeine-free Diet Pepsi/Coke.
69. Current Song? Fils de by Jacques Brel

I found a handy article today on cracked.com! It basically sums up my entire opinion and argument about using the internet and other text-based mediums as the primary source of one's socializing with the rest of the world.

http://www.cracked.com/article_1523.....miserable.html

Ta-daaaaah. Eye opening, yeah?

There's a lot of it happening right now in my life. As some of you know, I'm about to move to the other side of the country in just a few days. After living in the same city for my entire life, it's a little bit odd to think about. I don't think I've quite grasped the entirety of all of this until today, where I've found myself bursting into random fits of tears which, as anxiety ridden as I am, as not a common occurrence.

Another bit of change is that Jack Layton, the leader of the NDP party in Canada, has passed away. I just finished watching his funeral, and it was highly emotional. I've always had a great deal of respect for that man, I even voted NDP in the past election. He was taken long before his time, only at 61 years of age. He reminded me a lot of my own grandfather, as well, for a great deal of reasons.

On top of all these, I've been sensing a lot of changes in who I am as a person, or maybe just me learning more about myself as I get older. I've made a lot of new friends over the past year, all of them older (early twenties to mid fifties) and I feel as though it's kind of helped to pull me up a great deal in regards to maturity and how I compose myself in professional situations. I've always been a remarkably professional guy when I'm working, and that's starting to drift into my social life as well. As a result, I've been finding myself increasingly distant with older friends from years and years ago, having outgrown certain social circles, which is a unique feeling. It's weird to know I'm moving on from people, but at the same time, very refreshing. While I don't know a lot of people on this site, I'm sure that the individuals this pertains to will know what I'm talking about.

To the three people who may be reading this, your little boy's all grown up.

xoxo

We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... whatever.

So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?"

So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.

I only just got home. It's nearly 4am. This doesn't happen a lot.

On another, more journal-worthy note, this has been an interesting week. It was hard, but not bad, eye-opening, but not terrifying. I feel like things are going a lot better now than they were before for some reason.

Go ahead. Congratulate me.

These are some words.

I was reminded by Rhaen that 2011 is this Saturday. So, I decided I needed to analyze my year and figure out what I actually managed to accomplish. 2010 (and I guess 2009), at this moment, were failed years, from my point of view. Maybe this'll help me notice things that worked.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
I wrote, produced, starred in, and directed a show. I also stage managed another show. And Assistant Stage Managed another show. And was in the cast of the preview version of another new musical. I also applied for universities, and failed to get into them. Oh, and I got hit on.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make resolutions, really. I'm far too passive and lenient with myself to hold to any of them anyway.

3. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
It looks like in my room. Doing nothing. All my friends are off doing their own things this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Actually, no. That's not something that happens a lot to me.

5. What countries did you visit?
I stayed in Canada this year, unfortunately. This year and last year, I was unable to do my annual trip to New York.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Acceptance to the schools I audition for, a paying job within the field that I'm actually studying for, and some other stuff.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 20th, my audition at Sheridan. I spent an hour sitting alone on a bench in the rain, waiting for my ride back to Toronto after being told on the spot that I would not be admitted to the school.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating high school. I don't consider it an achievement more than an expectation. I know that makes me sound pretentious since there are lots of people who don't manage to do that, but, to be frank, I'm not sure how it comes to that.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Spending over a year preparing for my Sheridan audition, only to be rejected on the spot.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not really, just the odd migraine here and there. Swine Flu was last year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My phone plan, it's better than yours.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Food, most likely. I don't like spending money, haha.

13. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I Remember, from Evening Primrose. I sang it in the show I wrote. That, or Being Alive.

14. What do you wish you'd done more of?
My physiotherapy.

15. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Having anxiety attacks, haha.

16. What was your favorite TV program?
30 Rock. Definitely 30 Rock.

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Unfortunately. Some of them, though, in their defense, I didn't know until this year, and just hated them upon meeting them.

18. What was the best book you read?
The Empty Space, by Peter Brook. One of my theatre textbooks.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Sunday In the Park With George.

20. What was your favorite film of this year?
Scott Pilgrim. Definitely Scott Pilgrim.

21. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 18. I went to the flagrising gala for the Pride Festival, and then to my hags' house, where they had spent the whole afternoon making Indian food for me.

22. What kept you sane?
Sondheim, of course. However, more importantly,  RPDOfficer and  Rhaen more than anything.

23. Who did you miss?
It's more of a "what" than a "who" to be honest.

24. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Admitting to yourself and someone else that you've been contemplating suicide for a few months takes the stress of that off your shoulders, and thus the contemplation subsides.

Well, I guess I had succeeded with a lot of things when it comes to theatre and broadening my understanding of it. I did not accomplish what I had wanted to in most areas of the year, but, y'know what? That's done with. 2011 is starting, and I'm auditioning at three more schools, one of them the same as last year's. If I don't get accepted to any, then, well, who knows what's in store?

I've always been awful at thinking "Okay, where do I want to be in a year from now?" because it's not something I want to talk about. I like to deal with what's there in front of me, while at the same time keeping in mind that what I'm doing may hinder or benefit something in the future. I have ideas of where I'd like to be, and they may sound modest to some, but they're still something I believe to be unattainable.

I know this journal was full of super sad shit, but trust me, I'm not actually depressed right now or anything. It's just the facts of how the year went and, for the most part, I'm not very much affected by most of these any more.

SO HIGH FIVE.

o/

BAWWWWWWW NO MORE FICTIONAL CP THE ADMINS MUST HATE ALL OF US

:/

Set your clocks back, in case y'all forgot.

How old would you say is "too old" to date, for yourself?

I've heard of these formulas, y'know, (age)/2 + 7, or (age - 7)x2 for too young or too old, but I want to know how people feel on this.

For me, it used to be that anybody 5 years older was too old, and then I just plain wouldn't date somebody younger than me. 'Course, lately I've been interested in somebody a bit beyond my "too old" limit, so that's sorta fallen to dust, haha.

What're your thoughts, friends/watchers?

lolz I totally forgot.

Hi guys.

ಠ_ಠ

Today is mine.

Woop.

Oh my god, you guys... just... oh my god.

I've never cried SO MUCH during a movie.

I won't say anything to spoil it for the two people who'll read this, but just... just oh my god.

This movie, you guys. THIS MOVIE.

I love Madonna.

So go listen to Vogue, and Express Yourself.

kthx.

Going on a trip tomorrow. Wonder how many messages I'll have waiting for me when I get back. o.x

Also, butts.

So, I just got back from seeing Avatar. I've tried and tried to figure out a way to make a legit journal about this, but it kept not making sense. No matter how ridiculous it would end up, though, it would never, never get close to making as little sense as Avatar.

Yeah, yeah, I understood the basic plot. Tarzan and Pocahontas got mashed into one movie (oh wait, they pretty much already were) and then were put on a distant planet. But this movie just had way too many inconsistencies. My favourite has to be Jake telling some random scientist to stay back on the army base because he "needs somebody he can trust on the inside", despite him, after two hours of the film has gone by, NEVER ONCE SPEAKING TO HIM. I was just sitting there like "What the fuck? Who's this guy?"

That was one of the more logical moments.

God damn it, James Cameron.

EDIT: Oh and I forgot. Every. Little. Thing. In that god damn movie was so predictable.

"Oh, he's going to learn to ride that bird thing."

"Oh, they're going to fall in love."

"Oh, they're going to be the one who dies."

"Oh, everyone's going to get really mad."

"Oh, this guy's going to get really fucked up and go crazy."

"Oh, this movie was retarded."

Um, orgasmic.

I want to bang Ellis.

That is all.

Anybody else get weekends that are excrutiatingly painful?

Mine was.

It's not as if anything bad happened or anything, it's just that... well, nothing happened. At all.

The highlight of my entire weekend?

Doing my laundry.

How unfabulous.

Anybody else get really frantic sometimes?

Birthday today.

Kthx.

Uh, yeah. That's tomorrow.

:B

...

Woooooooo.

AND A JOURNAL JUST ONE DAY AFTER POSTING THE LAST?

Absurd.

Usually I don't like memes, but I've been thinking a lot about psycho-sociological patterns in peoples' hard wiring, so it grabbed my interest, hurhur.

Fire
[] If you get in my way I'll POUND YOU!
[x] I confide in my Passion!
[] I can beat anyone with my superior will!
[x] I don' like to wait to get what I want.
[x] I like warm weather and lots of sun.
[] Caution is not worth sacrificing efficiency, in some cases.
[] I have a short temper.
[] I like Spicy/Savory food. And it's gotta be hot!
[x] It's important to fight for what's right! Very much!
[] Music should be fast and powerful. It should make me want to dance!
Total: 4 (+4)

Water:
[x] If you get in my way, I'll just go around you.
[x] Versatility is invaluable.
[x] I can overcome anything with my superior wit.
[x] I'll get what I want using a method you hadn't considered.
[x] I like when it rains.
[x] I'll help you if you need it, but don't get greedy.
[] I'm willing to bend my morals for the sake of progress.
[x] I like food that soothes my body. Like how you can feel water run all the way into your belly.
[x] A solution can be found with diplomacy.
[x] Music should be soft and soothing, but also focused if that makes sense.
Total: 13 (+9)

Earth:
[] If you get in my way, I'll get in your way!
[] I center myself on Focus!
[] I can't be overcome by anything. I'll stay right here until you give up!
[] I can wait for what I want.
[x] I like cool mornings and lazy evenings.
[] I bet I could beat you in a staring contest. Don't lose focus!
[x] I won't sacrifice my morals for anything. I have them for a reason.
[x] I like earthy/savory foods. Like heavy breads and red meat.
[x] I respect devotion and order.
[] Music should be strong and steady. Like the beat of your heart.
Total: 17 (+4)

Air:
[] You can't get in my way. Haha!
[] I believe in total freedom!
[] I already have everything I could want.
[] It's impossible to stop me, because I'm not limited by the same things as you.
[x] I like a refreshing breeze on a warm day. With lots of white clouds.
[] I live in the moment and act on my impulsive desires.
[] What's the point in getting angry? Just have fun!
[x] I like light and sweet foods, like sweet breads and water-based broths.
[x] I'll do anything to be free and happy.
[] Music should dance in my ears and remind me of what it's like to cut loose.
Total: 20 (+3)

Nature:
[x] Oh! Am I in your way? Let me move.
[x] I believe life should be cherished above all other things.
[x] I will submit for now, but I will never give up.
[x] If I play my cards right, everything I want will be provided for me.
[x] I like windy days that make the trees sway and whisper.
[x] I will not hesitate to help you if I am able.
[x] Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I will fight for that right only.
[x] I love fresh fruit and vegetables.
[x] I would compromise before I would argue.
[] Music should be honest and gentle like leaves blowing in the autumn wind. Or the creaking of a great tree.
Total: 29 (+9)

Ice:
[] If you get in my way once, I'll find another way. If you do it again, I'll kill you.
[x] My strength is drawn from Clarity and Understanding.
[] Come winter, you'll freeze to death, and I won't have to bother with you.
[] I'll endure much suffering to get what I want.
[] I love cold, cloudless days.
[] Your problems aren't my problems. Bother someone else.
[] I'm not easily impressed.
[] I like cold and sweet foods. Like cold soups and shaved ice.
[x] Justice is indefinite you fool.
[] Music should have clear, bold sounds. Like bells.
Total: 31 (+2)

Lightning:
[] Try getting in my way! I'll blast right past you!
[x] Confidence is key! I just lose it and forget to check under my doormat, sometimes.
[x] I don't stop until I win!
[] I don't like waiting for what I want. If it takes to long, I'll find something else.
[x] I'd prefer not getting rained on, but I love thunder and lightning.
[x] I'll do anything for my friends.
[x] I'm easily excited
[x] I love sour!
[] I'll fight tooth and nail for my pride!
[] Music should be fast and upbeat. Techno and Electrodance baby!
Total: 37 (+6)

Darkness:
[] Don't ever cross my path.
[] I draw my strength only from myself.
[] I'm not afraid to be underhanded.
[] All I want is for people to leave me alone.
[] I like the night. And the shade during the day. I prefer to avoid the sun.
[] People like Batman's The Joker, and Naruto's Orochimaru are my idols.
[] If there is no profit in it, I don't do it.
[x] I like salty and bland foods. Potatoes are a must.
[] I would be an executioner.
[] Music should be low and slow. I should feel the darkness of the composer's heart in the beat.
Total: 38 (+1)

Light:
[] No obstacle shall obscure my righteous path.
[x] Justice and Loyalty are of the utmost importance.
[] Valor will overcome all forms of treachery.
[x] I want to see peace throughout the world.
[x] I love warm sunny days where the wind blows across the golden fields.
[] I find the world to be dismal and seek to correct it.
[] People have called me stuck up.
[x] I appreciate food that is prepared with hard work and love.
[x] Those who are wrong must be corrected!
[x] Music should be beautiful and imposing. Drum, Trumpet, Piano, Harp, Flute, etc... are lovely.
Total: 44 (+6)

Space:
[] I know all the alternate paths. No one can get in my way for long.
[] I pride myself on my Awareness.
[x] I just want to enjoy the scenery.
[x] My tastes change often, so getting things I want is sometimes a chore.
[] I like wide open spaces. Like sparsely treed fields and big houses.
[] I would prefer to travel than live in one place.
[x] Don't crowd me!
[] I like things you can eat a lot of without getting full.
[] I'll fight for the best seat in the house.
[] Music should be grand and boisterous. It should echo!
Total: 47 (+4)

Time:
[x] If you get in my way, I'll wait for you to leave and come back.
[] Among all things, Patience is the most valuable.
[] I can outlast anyone at anything.
[] Everything is finite. I'll take what I get and leave what I don't.
[x] As long as it's convenient to me, I like any weather, for the most part, anyway.
[x] People should go out of their ways to spend time enjoying things.
[x] I can easily become lost in thought.
[x] I like hardy, filling foods.
[x] I don't bother fighting over things. People will eventually wear themselves out.
[x] Music should be timeless. Enjoyable by all people through the ages.
Total: 54 (+7)

wtf was the total for?

Anyway, guess I'm a water and nature fag. olololololol