Why are hexadragons a thing, but --

- There are no pentadragons.

- There are no septidragons.

- The only octodragons on FurAffinity are octopus-dragon hybrids.

This is blatantly discriminatory to dragons with legs numbering anything other than four or six, and I won't stand for it. *mandible clack-clack*

I like to get commissions of dragons.

When I put out a want ad for dragon artists, I invariably get artists who link to examples of their work, which includes not a single dragon -- and sometimes not even anything scaly at all. Bonus points if they link me to a gallery full of humans.

Is this... normal?

Each of these is clickable, by the way.

Are You Ready

Caleb, the Well-adjusted Young Man Raised by a Normal Family

Die While Wearing the Footwear of Your Choice

Embrace the Sun but not Literally It's Too Hot

Fight or Carry On I Always Forget Which

Haemolacria

Hammerfall v2.0.07 Hotfix

Heavy Metal Gated Community

I'm Not Really Dying It's a Metaphor

Misplaced Temporarily but I Found It

Run / Leave / Just Go Get Some Exercise It's Good For You

Running With Nobody Adjacent to You at the Moment

Short as Something That's Pretty Short

Stronger Than You Think How Strong I Am

Seeing as how I far prefer playing as Monster, I've decided to intentionally mispronounce the names of the hunters, as follows. You should do it too.

Caira - CARE-uh

Cabot - CAB-oh

Griffin - GRAI-fin

Markov - Mar-COVE

Hyde - HAI-deh

Parnell - PAR-null

... needs to be one where I'm intended to give hilariously irreverent and sarcastic answers to everything.

Anyone know of one like this?

I know only like 2 of you will care about this, but I finished the music video I was talking about in my last journal.

Watch. Enjoy. Have fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojths0qKDBM

I'm making a video where I play as monster and pulverize all the silly mammals. Let's take votes on which would be a better song:

Switchback - Kind of old and cliche for a frag video at this point, but it is a fast-paced song with a lot of variety, which makes it easier to do fancy transitions if I feel like doing the work.

When Death Comes Knocking - Truer to my love of shoehorning power metal into everything, and the slower pace may afford more freedom in the clips I use, since I won't necessarily feel compelled to use fancy transitions. It's also shorter, so people with short attention spans -- ooh, shiny!!

I could pick something wildly inappropriate, like classical music, noise music, Run / Leave, or Man of Peace.

Write-in candidates are also possible.

Go!

They keep answering my anti-troll questions over at Evolve! They answered three -- count 'em -- three more of my inane, pointless questions, all back to back!

http://i.imgur.com/Hfuz0KA.jpg

And the original, from last journal: http://i.imgur.com/BcqH6tb.gif

I knew that if I asked enough times, I'd eventually get an answer to at least one of my insane questions.

http://i.imgur.com/BcqH6tb.gif

That's another item knocked off my bucket list. Buggy!

The next time you're playing Diablo II, throw daggers at someone while repeatedly using the voice command that indicates generosity.

"This is for you." *Throws dagger*
"This is yours." *Throws dagger*
"A gift for you." *Throws dagger*

For bonus points, do it with PVP mode active.

Your fellow player will appreciate it.

Dragons who breath fire.

That is all for today. Tune in next time.

So you know that game coming out in February, Evolve? Yeah, I'm totally going to buy it. And play with the dialogue volume muted, of course. What am I, crazy?

The developers have set up a Tumblr site where you can ask the monsters anything. Now of course, they decide what to answer, but if I figure that if I ask enough anti-troll questions, one will have to work eventually.

Since you can ask questions anonymously without registering for anything, let's all try to pool our resources and ask questions like:

- Which tastes better: Hunters, or native wildlife?

- If the Wraith has no eyes, shouldn't players using her have severe limitations on sight? (Like for eyeless creatures in Spore)

- What do Monsters dream of?

- Wouldn't fighting the Hunters be easier if you had guns and technology, too?

- How many vacation days per year does a Monster get?

- Have you ever thought of going vegan?

- Do monsters support (insert hot-button political issue here)?

- Is there any possibility of forming an agreement with Riot Games to add Kha'Zix as a Monster?

- How did the inability to regenerate health become a naturally selected trait for Monsters, when so many FPS protagonists (and Hunters with the correct perk) can?

- What do Monsters do for fun, or as hobbies?

Add your own! It's fnu!

You can only ask 5 questions per hour, so keep sending them each hour! Buggy!

My journals usually don't get a lot of comments, except when I have you take tests that mock cliche conventions of vore character profiles. That's cool.

Hey, I'm gonna do something entertaining for you. There's a collection of short stories by the name of The Dragon Book. I'm gonna try to recap some of the short stories in just a few snippets of abridged dialogue, based mostly on my memory. It's the funny!

Bob Choi's Last Job

Bob Choi: "Hey. You are murderous dragons hiding in civilized society and I'm a bounty hunter of murderous dragons hiding in civilized society. I'm taking you downtown."
Murderous Dragon: "Yes, it's true. People are just too delicious. But what about you, Bob Choi? You're some kind of freaky cold guy. Look, you give people frostbite by touching them unless you wear those gloves!"
Bob Choi: "... Cold guys have feelings, too."

The Tsar's Dragons

Rasputin: "Greetings, fair readers. My name is Grigori Rasputin. If you've heard of me, you already know that this story will be rather painful for me. Let's keep reading, shall we?"
Dragons: "Can we come out of these cages, yet? We're really bored."
Rasputin: "No, dears, this story is about Russian history, not dragons."

Oakland Dragon Blues

Officer Guerra: "Look, sir, I'm going to have to ask you to remove yourself from the intersection."
Dragon: "Yeah? Or else what?"
Officer Guerra: "... Well gosh, I dunno. Write some parking tickets?"
Dragon: "I'm not doing anything unless you promise to help me find the guy who authored me. See, I'm a story character, and someone has one of them magic typewriters like in the Goosebumps book The Blob That Ate Everyone. Except that's a bad example because it turned out the typewriter wasn't magical after all and it was just the kid's imagination that brought a giant voracious blob into existence. Hey, are you listening to me, or what?"
Officer Guerra: "What's a typewriter?"
Unnamed Author: "I hate my job. I hate my life. Go away."

Humane Killer:

Sir Leonard: "Watch out! I'm a zombie and I'm addicted to marijuana! Hey, my arm fell off again. Somebody grab it."
Armecia: "I'm a witch and I think I've played this module before."
Maddy: "I'm the most hilarious sociopath you'll ever meet. I was here for the dragon, but let's the three of us fight instead."
Zeigfreid the Dragon: "YOU DARNED KIDS! GET OFF MY LAWN!"

Stark and Wormy Knight

Alexandrax: "I can't sleep. Tell me a story about my great-grandfather and his appetite for soft things that walk on two legses!"
Alexandrax's Mother: "Okays, but those were frightsome days, with knights lurking beneath every scone and round every bent, ready to spring out and spear some mother's son for scarce no cause at all! So did your wisdominical great-grandpap confine himself to plowhards and peasant girls and the plumpcasional parish priest tumbled down drunk in the churchyard of a Sunday evening, shagged out from 'cessive semonizing."
Alexandrax: "Wait, wait. Is this whole story going to be full of strange words and forced alliteration...? Oh, would you look at the time? I'd best be getting to sleep, huh? So sleepy. Yep yep."

None So Blind

Kyosti: "Dear diary. We've set out to this foreign land to find dragons. I expect we won't have to wait long."
Kyosti: "Dear diary. Day 14. We've spoken to several natives in the area. No dragons yet."
Kyosti: "Dear diary. Day 31. We found some cool plants. No dragons yet."
Kyosti: "Dear diary. Day 78. The animals around here are whacked out. No dragons yet."
Kyosti: "Dear diary. Day 96. Our supplies are running out. We still haven't seen any dragons. We're just going to have to go back home. A bit disappointing."
Dragon: "ARMAGEDDON RISES. ALL WILL BE DESTROYED."

After the Third Kiss

May Margret: "Halp! Halp! I've been transformed into a dragon! It's terrible! Terrible! I need my brother to kiss me three times to change me back! Oh. That was quick.
Wynde: "Yeah. Now my face is all burned and scarred. I'll never get any girls. But, you know, you're my sister, so saving you from a terrible fate like that is worth it."
May Margret: "Being human sucks. I wanna be a dragon again."

Somewhat randomly, I came across this etiquette article in the game of Go, regarding respecting your opponent's ability.

Let me tell you a little story.

Once upon a time, for about half a year, there was an online fighting game by the name of KwonHo.

In this game, the Muay Thai fighting style had a particular move. This move was three high punches, followed by a hard low kick that knocked the opponent off their feet. The punches did not combo into the kick, so even someone hit by the punches could block the kick.

Beginners would be utterly thrashed by this move. They could not fathom the way to counter it. You could repeat this move over and over against a beginner, and they would lose.

An intermediate player was well aware of how powerful and overused this move was against beginners, and would instinctively block the incoming low kick. The Yomi Layer 3 counter to this was to substitute the low kick for a mid-hitting gut punch, but this was somewhat underused because of the high-risk low-damage. The two moves became less used against intermediate players, because it simply stopped being worth anything.

In a quite bizarre turnaround, when fighting elite players, you could once again use the move with success, as they had evolved beyond the point where the "three punch, kick" combo was even used anymore. It caught them completely off-guard, and they fell victim to it far more often than they should have.

This happens all the time, in every competitive event.

Intermediate strategy beats beginners.

Elite strategy beats intermediates.

Beginner strategy beats elites.

So if you are successful at some competitive venture and get called a "noob" or the like, be proud! You just beat an elite.

Why do so many businesses and organizations discriminate against buggies who don't own a smartphone?

We get completely shut out from all the "apps" and whatnot.

There oughtta be a law.

Hey, nobody can snarkily say "First-world problem" because not owning a smartphone is something that happens in worlds of all placements. Buggy!

'Maaaaaw!'

Dude, that plant has a tongue! Buggy!

Hey! In case you missed it while the notifications were wacky, I uploaded a new Gnaw art. See it! Click this bold text! Or go to my gallery, it's there too!

Hey, how come they could make Mini CDs work with normal CD-ROM drives, but they couldn't make normal CDs work with Mini CD-ROM drives?

Why is forwards-compatibility so rare?

Why is it that everyone in advertisements just happens to have the exact problem that's solved by the product shown?

Did you ever notice that everything at clothing, furniture, and car stores is on-sale all the time?

How much mana are we going to accumulate while I summon only gryphons and he summons only faerie apprentices?

Does Stitch have any organs in his torso besides his stomach?

Isn't it funny to kill the Monster right after you've been incapped?

Why is Gnaw saying his name repeatedly in this comic?

Why is having six legs so awesome??

I've used Mogul's power to create Spontaneous Christmas my keen business savvy to accumulate bazillions of Flight Rising moneys, so I'm getting neverending commissions forever. Please answer yes or no to the following questions:

Does my gallery need...

1. ...more black dragons?

2. ...more cute dracobugs?

3. ...more scary dracobugs?

4. ...more Gnaw?

5. ...more Genji?

6. ...more Kog'Maw?

7. ...more zerg?

8. ...more giant arthropods?

9. ...more vore?

10. Fill in the blank freely: KD's gallery needs more ________.

Why are they called cheetaurs? Don't they look more like panthers? Shouldn't they be called... panthtaurs?

Meow!

I mean, buggy!

Reuben gently petting a happy buggy bug.

How can you get better than that? Buggy!

Hey guyses, remember when I made a journal about an educational flash card game that you can play with your hatchielarvae?

Of course you don't. People don't read my journals (heck, reading seems to be something of a lost art). I'm talking to like, three people, max. Always the same three people. Hey other 314 watchers. Waaaake uppppppppp.

I made a video of Lilo and Stitch playing the Buggy Flash Card Game. It's here. You can see it if you click on these bold-font words. I'm totally serious. This is a thing you can do. You might even be amused. It's only 30 seconds long. What have you got to lose? Like, come on, you have already committed to reading far enough into this fairly short journal anyway, what's 30 seconds more?

Buggy!

So apparently a closet-voraphile guy is going to don a snakeproof suit and feed himself to an anaconda. For SCIENCE!

http://insidetv.ew.com/2014/11/05/a.....ive-discovery/

I don't know if that's voraciously awesome, or cruel to the snake who is going to work so hard to not get any food in the end.

I hope they buy it some takeout, or a beer, or something. Buggy!

Have you ever read a written article that quotes another person's words selectively? They do this in newspapers, magazines, and even on Wikipedia!

Take for example the paragraph recapping negative reviews for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. I shall copy the relevant bits here. Pay attention to the quotation marks.

... Sophie Monks Kaufman ... criticised the "dilution of the ingredients that made The Hunger Games so gripping." She also found fault with the "lumbering" plot, the "hamminess" of President Snow and Plutarch Heavensbee and the "lacklustre and unconvincing script culled from a dramatically difficult book". David Denby ... argued that the premise "doesn't make a lot of sense". He praised the "impressive" first act and Jennifer Lawrence, for "project[ing] the kind of strength that Katharine Hepburn had when she was young." However, he found the second act "attenuated and rhythmless" and criticised the "incoherent" finale that "will send the audience scurrying back to the book to find out what’s supposed to be going on".

The problem is that selective quotes like this have the same literary appearance as scare quotes. Although actual quoted opinions are (hopefully) more common on Wikipedia and professional newspapers, one can't be too sure in a tabloid or casual essay.

I want to give you a demonstration. Let's take an excerpt of something that's pretty straightforward and factual, such as Wikipedia's article about the Atmosphere of Earth:

The atmosphere of Earth is a layer of gases surrounding the planet Earth that is retained by Earth's gravity. The atmosphere protects life on Earth by absorbing ultraviolet solar radiation, warming the surface through heat retention (greenhouse effect), and reducing temperature extremes between day and night (the diurnal temperature variation).

The common name given to the atmospheric gases used in breathing and photosynthesis is air. By volume, dry air contains 78.09% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.039% carbon dioxide, and small amounts of other gases. Air also contains a variable amount of water vapor, on average around 1%. Although air content and atmospheric pressure vary at different layers, air suitable for the survival of terrestrial plants and terrestrial animals currently is only known to be found in Earth's troposphere and artificial atmospheres.

Now, behold as I make you doubt the value -- nay, the very existence -- of the air you breathe!

Wikipedia reports that the atmosphere of Earth is a "layer of gases" that "surround[s]" the planet Earth and is "retained" by Earth's gravity. The atmosphere "protects" life on Earth by "absorbing" ultraviolet solar radiation, "warming the surface" through heat retention (also called "greenhouse effect"), and reducing temperature "extremes" between day and night (also called "diurnal temperature variation").

Wikipedia goes on to say that the "common" name given to the atmospheric gases used in "breathing" and "photosynthesis" is "air". By volume, "dry" air contains 78.09% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.039% carbon dioxide, and "small amounts of other gases". Air also contains a "variable" amount of "water vapor", on average "around 1%". Although air content and atmospheric pressure "vary at different layers", air suitable for the survival of "terrestrial" plants and "terrestrial" animals currently is only known to be found "in Earth's troposphere and artificial atmospheres".

I think I've made my point. This has really gotten out of hand.

So STAHP.

It wants me to support responsible oil drilling, so I should "Vote 'no' on the irresponsible drilling ban."

But if I want to support responsible drilling, shouldn't I vote 'yes' to ban irresponsible drilling? I don't like irresponsible drilling -- it's so irresponsible.

Get your grammar right, people! How many thousands of dollars are you spending on this commercial, yet can't say something that makes any sense?

On an unrelated note, I learned from Subaru commercials that Subarus smell bad.

They were showing off a television, talking about its great picture quality.

Think about it. You'll get it.