FA+
Shop
What I like
Posted 11 years agoHigh Five
Posted 12 years agoHave you ever watched those small claims court "reality shows" that come on during the daytime?
At the beginning of each case, the bailiff instructs the litigants to raise their hand and do the whole "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." This is actually a practice session.
You know it's a practice session because you'll often see, in the middle of the case, that they try to do it again. They raise their hand and try to reaffirm their vow to tell the truth, only for the more authoritative judges to be like, "Put your hand down!"
What is the point of the practice session if they are admonished for doing it later?
At the beginning of each case, the bailiff instructs the litigants to raise their hand and do the whole "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." This is actually a practice session.
You know it's a practice session because you'll often see, in the middle of the case, that they try to do it again. They raise their hand and try to reaffirm their vow to tell the truth, only for the more authoritative judges to be like, "Put your hand down!"
What is the point of the practice session if they are admonished for doing it later?
The Meta Journal
Posted 12 years agoNew League of Legends voidbeast
Posted 12 years agohttp://na.leagueoflegends.com/sites.....?itok=QhQh0sy1
He eats people's souls when he looks at them.
Fanart. Now.
He eats people's souls when he looks at them.
Fanart. Now.
I need these commissions
Posted 12 years agoA totally awesome bald eagle (former-SAS sniper by the name of Marshall "Fort" Crowley) with a sniper rifle, with sound effects and speech bubbles alternating: *BLAM* "Tango down." *BLAM* "Tango down." *BLAM* "Tango down." And then in the bottom right corner, Kraz is all chibi and cartoony with that strangled dots-for-eyes totally annoyed look as he says over his radio, "Fort! Stop making the rest of us redundant!"
Panel 1: An animated dragon skeleton / dracolich is posing and looking scary and awesome as he says, "You thought you could beat me? I'm unstoppable." and in a second speech bubble, in a large and crazy font, "UNSTOPPABLE!"
Panel 2: Mr. Dracolich is reduced to a pile of very inanimate bones.
Dracobugs. And other bugs. Eating each other.
Panel 1: An animated dragon skeleton / dracolich is posing and looking scary and awesome as he says, "You thought you could beat me? I'm unstoppable." and in a second speech bubble, in a large and crazy font, "UNSTOPPABLE!"
Panel 2: Mr. Dracolich is reduced to a pile of very inanimate bones.
Dracobugs. And other bugs. Eating each other.
What does a blanket salesdracobug say for his sales pitch?
Posted 12 years agoWaaaaarm!
A Deconstruction of a Newspaper Article About Healthy Eating
Posted 12 years agoToday, a group of important scientists concluded a 10-person study involving the health impacts of eating certain kinds of foods.
The two-week study suggested that a regular diet high in foods like whole grains, apples, strawberries, blueberries, bananers, peanuts, spinach, kale, and lean meats results in lower rates of obesity and death by natural causes in women aged 55-60 years.
Comments section:
Comment 1: "This study is great news and long overdue. Maybe this will get people to stop eating so much junk food and HFCS. Hey, maybe we should stop calling it HFCS and start calling it by another acronym -- EVIL. EVIL INCARNATE."
Comment 2: "Hey, can't you at least link to the study? Some of us might want to nitpick at it in detail. Thanks!"
Comment 3: "Correlation does not equal causation. Did you control for all of the other factors contributing toward obesity and death by natural causes? What are 'natural causes' anyway? That's such a subjective term."
Comment 4: "There were only 10 people in the study? Women aged 55-60? What?? Who exactly is funding ridiculously narrow studies like this, and how are they getting articles in such a well-respected newspaper?"
Comment 5: "There's a lot more to obesity than just what you eat, you know. When I was prescribed a medication regimen by my doctor, I gained 40 pounds in a month. When I went to a different doctor who said I shouldn't be taking it, I lost those 40 pounds again just like that. The medication was to blame, not my diet."
Comment 6: "So... a diet consisting entirely of smaller dragons and gryphons isn't good after all? But if I don't have a healthy girth, how am I supposed to attract more foolish prey into giving me bellyhugs?"
Comment 7: "Peanuts? Peanuts?! Some people have peanut allergies, you know! We won't be losing any weight or staving off natural causes. Does 'anaphylactic shock' mean anything to you?!"
Comment 8: "Pretty good study... except for the part about eating lean meat. If you go level 5 vegan -- never eat anything that casts a shadow -- then you'll live forever. You don't see too many immortal people walking around because few people have the guts to try it."
Comment 9: "If I ate spinach and kale, then the rare genetic condition that only my family (on my father's side) has would cause the large amounts of vitamin K to metabolize too slowly and give me vitamin K toxicity. This is not good advice for people with my condition. Greetings."
Comment 10: "Great, more people telling us what to eat. Today it's this, tomorrow the Government will tell us that every American must eat twelve cups of broccoli every day until the next health study debunks it. I'll stick to eating nothing except tofu, thank you very much. At least gratuitous consumption of soybeans never hurt anyone."
Comment 11: "Hey, Comment 1 up there. 'EVIL INCARNATE' isn't an acronym. Idiot."
The two-week study suggested that a regular diet high in foods like whole grains, apples, strawberries, blueberries, bananers, peanuts, spinach, kale, and lean meats results in lower rates of obesity and death by natural causes in women aged 55-60 years.
Comments section:
Comment 1: "This study is great news and long overdue. Maybe this will get people to stop eating so much junk food and HFCS. Hey, maybe we should stop calling it HFCS and start calling it by another acronym -- EVIL. EVIL INCARNATE."
Comment 2: "Hey, can't you at least link to the study? Some of us might want to nitpick at it in detail. Thanks!"
Comment 3: "Correlation does not equal causation. Did you control for all of the other factors contributing toward obesity and death by natural causes? What are 'natural causes' anyway? That's such a subjective term."
Comment 4: "There were only 10 people in the study? Women aged 55-60? What?? Who exactly is funding ridiculously narrow studies like this, and how are they getting articles in such a well-respected newspaper?"
Comment 5: "There's a lot more to obesity than just what you eat, you know. When I was prescribed a medication regimen by my doctor, I gained 40 pounds in a month. When I went to a different doctor who said I shouldn't be taking it, I lost those 40 pounds again just like that. The medication was to blame, not my diet."
Comment 6: "So... a diet consisting entirely of smaller dragons and gryphons isn't good after all? But if I don't have a healthy girth, how am I supposed to attract more foolish prey into giving me bellyhugs?"
Comment 7: "Peanuts? Peanuts?! Some people have peanut allergies, you know! We won't be losing any weight or staving off natural causes. Does 'anaphylactic shock' mean anything to you?!"
Comment 8: "Pretty good study... except for the part about eating lean meat. If you go level 5 vegan -- never eat anything that casts a shadow -- then you'll live forever. You don't see too many immortal people walking around because few people have the guts to try it."
Comment 9: "If I ate spinach and kale, then the rare genetic condition that only my family (on my father's side) has would cause the large amounts of vitamin K to metabolize too slowly and give me vitamin K toxicity. This is not good advice for people with my condition. Greetings."
Comment 10: "Great, more people telling us what to eat. Today it's this, tomorrow the Government will tell us that every American must eat twelve cups of broccoli every day until the next health study debunks it. I'll stick to eating nothing except tofu, thank you very much. At least gratuitous consumption of soybeans never hurt anyone."
Comment 11: "Hey, Comment 1 up there. 'EVIL INCARNATE' isn't an acronym. Idiot."
(Metaphorical) Food for Thought
Posted 12 years agoIf both ordinary towels and top-quality towels fall apart, can the top-quality towels truly be called "top-quality"?
KD as a Wyvern
Posted 12 years agoYou know how some people get turn their characters into an alternate species as a once-off thing? Well, even though KD isn't a character, I can still do the same thing. Like with a comic that goes like this:
Panel 1:
- Close-up of a slit-pupil dragon eye because those are awesome.
- Speech bubble on upper-left side, reading, "I am... different."
- Speech bubble on lower-right side, reading, "I am... stronger!"
Panel 2:
- Majestic Wyvern!KD doing a wyvern version of the 'Wryyyyyyy!' pose, looking strong and majestic and stuff.
- Speech bubble coming from the wyvern, saying in larger-than-before words, "I am... WYVERN!"
- Steamroller is not actually required.
Panel 3:
- Wyvern!KD has been 50%-80% devoured by some bigger hungrier critter. A BHD (Bigger Hungrier Dragon) would be good. A giant bug or arachnid or centipede would be better.
Panel 1:
- Close-up of a slit-pupil dragon eye because those are awesome.
- Speech bubble on upper-left side, reading, "I am... different."
- Speech bubble on lower-right side, reading, "I am... stronger!"
Panel 2:
- Majestic Wyvern!KD doing a wyvern version of the 'Wryyyyyyy!' pose, looking strong and majestic and stuff.
- Speech bubble coming from the wyvern, saying in larger-than-before words, "I am... WYVERN!"
- Steamroller is not actually required.
Panel 3:
- Wyvern!KD has been 50%-80% devoured by some bigger hungrier critter. A BHD (Bigger Hungrier Dragon) would be good. A giant bug or arachnid or centipede would be better.
About "K.D.'s Vorish Vignettes"
Posted 12 years agoHello watchers-who-I-don't-know-why-you're-watching me!
At my discretion, I will be posting mini-stories called K.D.'s Vorish Vignettes. These will be about 2 or 3 pages long, written in about 40-50 minutes (plus revision for clarity and typos).
Basically, how it works is that my sponsor
kartonis gives me some predators, prey, and a simple premise, and then I use the lost art of storytelling to improvise a coherent vore vignette using that input with relative swiftness. Then, I might post the better ones here.
Don't expect perfection or super-deep detail.
Do expect fun and unique ideas that are quick to read.
Let me know what you think. Because I still have absolutely no idea what 99% of you guys like.
At my discretion, I will be posting mini-stories called K.D.'s Vorish Vignettes. These will be about 2 or 3 pages long, written in about 40-50 minutes (plus revision for clarity and typos).
Basically, how it works is that my sponsor
kartonis gives me some predators, prey, and a simple premise, and then I use the lost art of storytelling to improvise a coherent vore vignette using that input with relative swiftness. Then, I might post the better ones here.Don't expect perfection or super-deep detail.
Do expect fun and unique ideas that are quick to read.
Let me know what you think. Because I still have absolutely no idea what 99% of you guys like.
MLK Day Fun Fact (About Quest For Glory 3)
Posted 12 years agoYou guys like anthropomorphic animals, right? Quest For Glory 3 has got Liontaurs! It's also got anthro crocodiles, giant ants, and demonic worms, but they will not be featured in this F^2.
Before I share the real fun fact, did you ever try seeing how many different ways you can tick off Rajah during the two times that you speak with him? I did. It's highly amusing. You can see a montage of everything if you click on these bold words, because it's a link.
You can also look around his chambers and infer that liontaurs have taken up ''chawin tabaccy''.
And you can look at his servants, to which the game will narrate that he has excellent taste in personal servants. Presumably, that's the hero thinking it. So, he also has a taste for liontaur servants? What else could it mean??
Anyway, on to the real Fun Fact.
You know the part where you use the Dispel Potion on the caged leopardman and it shows a brief cutscene of him transforming into aleopard lady?
Normally, the hero just stands there pretty stoic and emotionless. Terribly exciting, I know.
On very rare occasions... common enough to reproduce it with enough effort, yet uncommon enough to make you question your sanity for years and years because you saw it once and nobody else online ever mentioned it in any walkthrough or easter egg guide... the hero's eyes and tongue will, for a split second, bug out like he's a cartoon character.
I have caught you on camera, Bigfoot. Vin. Di. Cation.
I may also be scarred for life because of just how creepy that is, especially since it's only for about half a second and is accompanied by a goofy sound effect in-game. Now all of you are scarred for life, too.
Share! Share in my future nightmares!
Before I share the real fun fact, did you ever try seeing how many different ways you can tick off Rajah during the two times that you speak with him? I did. It's highly amusing. You can see a montage of everything if you click on these bold words, because it's a link.
You can also look around his chambers and infer that liontaurs have taken up ''chawin tabaccy''.
And you can look at his servants, to which the game will narrate that he has excellent taste in personal servants. Presumably, that's the hero thinking it. So, he also has a taste for liontaur servants? What else could it mean??
Anyway, on to the real Fun Fact.
You know the part where you use the Dispel Potion on the caged leopardman and it shows a brief cutscene of him transforming into a
Normally, the hero just stands there pretty stoic and emotionless. Terribly exciting, I know.
On very rare occasions... common enough to reproduce it with enough effort, yet uncommon enough to make you question your sanity for years and years because you saw it once and nobody else online ever mentioned it in any walkthrough or easter egg guide... the hero's eyes and tongue will, for a split second, bug out like he's a cartoon character.
I have caught you on camera, Bigfoot. Vin. Di. Cation.
I may also be scarred for life because of just how creepy that is, especially since it's only for about half a second and is accompanied by a goofy sound effect in-game. Now all of you are scarred for life, too.
Share! Share in my future nightmares!
5 things that would be totally awesome in a fighting game
Posted 12 years ago1. A swordfighter who's so skilled that he hits people only with his scabbard, and just uses his sword to block. Like Jax, but with a scabbard, not a lamppost.
2. A fighter who Calls His Attacks -- not with flashy names, but the literal maneuver he's doing: "Jab!", "Cross!", "Uppercut!", "Slash!", "Stab!", "Throwing Daggers!", "Pommel strike!", "Nice leg kick!"
Then, when he wins, he can be genuinely confused and ask his defeated opponent, "Do you even know any moves?"
3. A fighter who's annoyed and angry when he loses by time over. Most are disappointed, or crumple in defeat/exhaustion, but I want someone who's like "What? TIME OVER?! NO, COME ON!"
4. Ring outs that are just a simple line drawn on the ground. Now, I'm not talking about wrestling or sumo or things like that. I'm saying if, like, in Soul Calibur, a fight between Nightmare and Siegfried could be decided by one of them stepping out of bounds (rather than falling off a cliff or into water/lava/acid).
5. Dragons.
2. A fighter who Calls His Attacks -- not with flashy names, but the literal maneuver he's doing: "Jab!", "Cross!", "Uppercut!", "Slash!", "Stab!", "Throwing Daggers!", "Pommel strike!", "Nice leg kick!"
Then, when he wins, he can be genuinely confused and ask his defeated opponent, "Do you even know any moves?"
3. A fighter who's annoyed and angry when he loses by time over. Most are disappointed, or crumple in defeat/exhaustion, but I want someone who's like "What? TIME OVER?! NO, COME ON!"
4. Ring outs that are just a simple line drawn on the ground. Now, I'm not talking about wrestling or sumo or things like that. I'm saying if, like, in Soul Calibur, a fight between Nightmare and Siegfried could be decided by one of them stepping out of bounds (rather than falling off a cliff or into water/lava/acid).
5. Dragons.
Incoming League of Legends in-joke
Posted 12 years agoI don't care how strong Ezreal is. I cannot possibly support someone whose title is "The Wasteful Explorer".
Also, Kha'Zix and Rengar finally got to have their grudge match.
Also, Kha'Zix and Rengar finally got to have their grudge match.
Voreplaying!
Posted 12 years agoWhy is it so hard to find decent people to voreplay with?
I can't be the only one that likes giant hungry spiders, giant hungry insects, giant hungry dragons, giant half-insect half-dragon half-spiders, and giant hungry slugbeasts that eat you, your soul, your friends, your family, anyone else remotely nearby your location, and all other hungry beasts in a ten-mile radius.
And then during the times I'm not the only one who likes one of those things, that person afterward disappears forever. Probably because Yum Chat is overrun by angsty anime characters.
I said dragons up there too, right? You guys like draaaaagons. I think. Never could tell what you guys like.
I totally don't do anything too interesting most evenings and weekends. It's such a drag. Voreplaying is like writing, and I like writing. Writerdragon must write. Or else he writes unhinged journals.
'Kay, going back to my dragon cave now.
I can't be the only one that likes giant hungry spiders, giant hungry insects, giant hungry dragons, giant half-insect half-dragon half-spiders, and giant hungry slugbeasts that eat you, your soul, your friends, your family, anyone else remotely nearby your location, and all other hungry beasts in a ten-mile radius.
And then during the times I'm not the only one who likes one of those things, that person afterward disappears forever. Probably because Yum Chat is overrun by angsty anime characters.
I said dragons up there too, right? You guys like draaaaagons. I think. Never could tell what you guys like.
I totally don't do anything too interesting most evenings and weekends. It's such a drag. Voreplaying is like writing, and I like writing. Writerdragon must write. Or else he writes unhinged journals.
'Kay, going back to my dragon cave now.
Technology!
Posted 12 years agoEquate Nasal Strips have "4-Touch Technology".
Yeah, okay, it might be drug-free, but do you really want technology attached to your face?
Have a drink.
Yeah, okay, it might be drug-free, but do you really want technology attached to your face?
Have a drink.
Tomb of Horrors should have vore traps
Posted 12 years agoNo, I'm still not doing Friday Fun Fact. Instead, you get KD's Random Thoughts Because That's What Most People Around Here Use Their Journals For Unless They're Advertising Commissions. (RTBTWMPAHUTJFUTAC for short).
Wouldn't the D&D module for Tomb of Horrors be way more awesome if all of its traps were vorish? Frankly, getting crushed, incinerated, or being teleported back to the beginning of the dungeon without your clothes is BORING. You're boring, Tomb of Horrors.
Why can't a pressure plate release a giant slugbeast? Or a steep ramp sends you right into the waiting jaws of a giant carnivorous plant? Or why can't the lich's skull eat your soul? (Oh wait, I guess that last one does happen.)
Vore games are fun to lose. They're more fun to lose than they are to win. All Nintendo Hard games should be vore games.
Wouldn't the D&D module for Tomb of Horrors be way more awesome if all of its traps were vorish? Frankly, getting crushed, incinerated, or being teleported back to the beginning of the dungeon without your clothes is BORING. You're boring, Tomb of Horrors.
Why can't a pressure plate release a giant slugbeast? Or a steep ramp sends you right into the waiting jaws of a giant carnivorous plant? Or why can't the lich's skull eat your soul? (Oh wait, I guess that last one does happen.)
Vore games are fun to lose. They're more fun to lose than they are to win. All Nintendo Hard games should be vore games.
KD's Final Friday Fun Fact (#100)
Posted 12 years agoLet's keep this short and with minimal moodiness. This is my last F^3.
Perhaps too optimistically, I had started this journal series as a further extension of my writing. I'm fully aware and have known for a long time that writing (unless one is writing vulgarity-riddled yiff) on this website is basically a hopeless effort.
When I started this project two years ago, I had foolishly hoped that weekly, low-wordcount writings often about dragons and vore might have broader appeal. No, not really. It's very lovely that I now have over 250 watchers. I have no idea why they're watching me, since I can clearly see from YouTube video clickthroughs that roughly three watchers care about these journals. You don't need to try to make me feel better by creating dummy accounts, guys.
Probably, I'm better off just going to an actual amateur writing site. Always was. Too bad I didn't know that back in December 2005.
I'll still be posting artwork in this space (since that's why you're watching me in the first place). I'll probably post any future stories or actual journals too, but with less focus on trying to make them appeal to furries (since that was working so well).
But, to show that I'm not entirely bitter, I shall close this chapter with one last Final Friday Fun Fact (F^4):
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
Perhaps too optimistically, I had started this journal series as a further extension of my writing. I'm fully aware and have known for a long time that writing (unless one is writing vulgarity-riddled yiff) on this website is basically a hopeless effort.
When I started this project two years ago, I had foolishly hoped that weekly, low-wordcount writings often about dragons and vore might have broader appeal. No, not really. It's very lovely that I now have over 250 watchers. I have no idea why they're watching me, since I can clearly see from YouTube video clickthroughs that roughly three watchers care about these journals. You don't need to try to make me feel better by creating dummy accounts, guys.
Probably, I'm better off just going to an actual amateur writing site. Always was. Too bad I didn't know that back in December 2005.
I'll still be posting artwork in this space (since that's why you're watching me in the first place). I'll probably post any future stories or actual journals too, but with less focus on trying to make them appeal to furries (since that was working so well).
But, to show that I'm not entirely bitter, I shall close this chapter with one last Final Friday Fun Fact (F^4):
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
KD's Friday Fun Fact (#99)
Posted 12 years ago*Sigh* ... I thought today was my 100th Friday Fun Fact. But it's not. It's only #99.
I got all prepared by making you this video of me running In The Belly Of The Beast on DDO, everyone's favorite vore quest. See here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh4Uq406QSA
Guess I'm gonna have to get my act together and do something even better next week.
Does anyone else think that "Cay'Vorym" sounds an awful lot like "'Kay, vore 'em."?
I got all prepared by making you this video of me running In The Belly Of The Beast on DDO, everyone's favorite vore quest. See here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh4Uq406QSA
Guess I'm gonna have to get my act together and do something even better next week.
Does anyone else think that "Cay'Vorym" sounds an awful lot like "'Kay, vore 'em."?
KD's Friday Fun Fact (#98)
Posted 12 years agoAt the end of Season 2, Episode 2 of Elementary, Sherlock remarks that he has about as much interest in money as he does in Hummel Figurines (that is to say, very little).
I don't get it. What does he have against Hummel Figurines??
I don't get it. What does he have against Hummel Figurines??
KD's Friday Fun Fact (#97)
Posted 12 years agoSo, regarding Dreamtale's song, Back to the Stars...
Is the couplet...
"Now you see why I'm so numb in my hollow shell /
The things I know create my shallow hell"
...a brilliant rhyme, or an awful, awful spoonerism?
It's not allowed to be both.
Is the couplet...
"Now you see why I'm so numb in my hollow shell /
The things I know create my shallow hell"
...a brilliant rhyme, or an awful, awful spoonerism?
It's not allowed to be both.
KD's Friday Fun Fact (#96)
Posted 12 years agoToday, I am providing all two of you with a handy guide to Internet emoticons!
:) -- Happy
:( -- Sad
:/ -- A little sad
:\ -- A little happy
:/ -- Wait, was this one a little happy?
:\ -- How's anyone supposed to remember or agree on this?
;) -- Winking
;( -- Also winking, but I will frown as I do so
:3 -- Gentlemanly handlebar mustache
:P -- Come closer, I want to lick you
:B -- Two tongues, like King Terask v3
:X -- Who knew that gold dragons tasted like lemons?
:$ -- I can't talk now, my mouth is full of MONEY
:O -- Look! I have no jawbone!
D: -- The system cannot find the drive specified.
:) -- Happy
:( -- Sad
:/ -- A little sad
:\ -- A little happy
:/ -- Wait, was this one a little happy?
:\ -- How's anyone supposed to remember or agree on this?
;) -- Winking
;( -- Also winking, but I will frown as I do so
:3 -- Gentlemanly handlebar mustache
:P -- Come closer, I want to lick you
:B -- Two tongues, like King Terask v3
:X -- Who knew that gold dragons tasted like lemons?
:$ -- I can't talk now, my mouth is full of MONEY
:O -- Look! I have no jawbone!
D: -- The system cannot find the drive specified.
KD's Friday Fun Fact (#95)
Posted 12 years agoI was playing King of Dragon Pass and tried giving some gifts to a neighboring clan.
They refused to accept my gifts, and implied that my herald would have his kneecaps broken if he stayed for much longer!
What's up with that? Why would someone refuse to take some free swag?
They refused to accept my gifts, and implied that my herald would have his kneecaps broken if he stayed for much longer!
What's up with that? Why would someone refuse to take some free swag?
KD's Friday Fun Fact (#94)
Posted 12 years agoKD's Friday Fun Fact (#93)
Posted 12 years agoSo, while I was reading this article in the New York Times about tipping… (to summarize, tipping is a giant American scam perpetuated by the other NRA that has nothing to do with rewarding good service and everything to do with enriching business owners at the cost of their own employees' paychecks, especially when there's competition such that employees bully each other or steal tips meant for other people.)
You should still tip under appropriate circumstances in America. It'd be nice if we could stop calling it a "tip" in such cases, though, as it seems to only confuse people.
Anyway, the whole escapade reminded me of a fun anecdote I had while playing Battlefield 2.
Once upon a time, I liked playing the Commander role in Battlefield 2. The Commander is still a soldier on the battlefield with no restrictions, but can also pull up a satellite image of the map and use special commander powers. The powers are very… er, powerful. To encourage use of the powers and discourage normal soldier-ing, Commanders are not awarded points for personal actions, and are instead awarded points mostly for their team winning the match.
As it happens, many players who don't know or don't care about this completely ignore their commander powers, ruining the point of being commander in the first place. Not me, though. When I did soldier-ing as commander, I always tried to use powers from first-person view, or find quick moments of respite to pull up the satellite view and use the powers there.
A sore issue for many people was the use of vehicles by the commander. Piloting a jet or helicopter takes full concentration. Being in a tank means a non-multitasking teammate can't use that tank. Many commanders can't even multitask properly in the first place. Aware of this, I tried to only command and tank-drive at the same time only if I believed our victory depended on it. Heck, at least once, (as commander), I drove the map's only available tank up to our team's best player, used the "Hop in!" voice command, and exited the tank. He thanked me.
Once upon a time, I felt it necessary to command and tank-drive at the same time. A clan member from the server I was on informed me over the Squad Leader to Commander voice chat that, and I remember this well, "Driving a tank and being a commander at the same time is frowned upon" in this server.
I replied, "Would you like the tank? I'll let you have it." I didn't really want to drive. I just wanted someone to use it, even if that someone was me!
He rejected my offer. He didn't want the tank. He just wanted me to be aware that the action was frowned upon on the server.
I wasn't kicked that day. I was kicked on a later date on that server for, in sheer desperation, attempting to (alone) hold off a coordinated attack by an enemy squad on an important outpost by using a tank as my team's commander. I took out three baddies before being taken out myself. Some of those baddies were in the server's clan. Yeah. Kicked by the enemy team for trying and failing to defend the map's most important outpost in a way they didn't like. Hardly the worst reason a server-owner has had for kicking, but still!
Moral of the story: Rules of etiquette are stupid. Rules need to be both enforceable and strictly enforced, or else dropped as rules.
Moral not of the story: Games aren't worth playing if you don't play like a lunatic from time to time. For instance, using 'Doctor' as your name prefix, and declaring doctor war when the enemy commander (also a doctor) uses artillery on you, with fitting retribution.
You should still tip under appropriate circumstances in America. It'd be nice if we could stop calling it a "tip" in such cases, though, as it seems to only confuse people.
Anyway, the whole escapade reminded me of a fun anecdote I had while playing Battlefield 2.
Once upon a time, I liked playing the Commander role in Battlefield 2. The Commander is still a soldier on the battlefield with no restrictions, but can also pull up a satellite image of the map and use special commander powers. The powers are very… er, powerful. To encourage use of the powers and discourage normal soldier-ing, Commanders are not awarded points for personal actions, and are instead awarded points mostly for their team winning the match.
As it happens, many players who don't know or don't care about this completely ignore their commander powers, ruining the point of being commander in the first place. Not me, though. When I did soldier-ing as commander, I always tried to use powers from first-person view, or find quick moments of respite to pull up the satellite view and use the powers there.
A sore issue for many people was the use of vehicles by the commander. Piloting a jet or helicopter takes full concentration. Being in a tank means a non-multitasking teammate can't use that tank. Many commanders can't even multitask properly in the first place. Aware of this, I tried to only command and tank-drive at the same time only if I believed our victory depended on it. Heck, at least once, (as commander), I drove the map's only available tank up to our team's best player, used the "Hop in!" voice command, and exited the tank. He thanked me.
Once upon a time, I felt it necessary to command and tank-drive at the same time. A clan member from the server I was on informed me over the Squad Leader to Commander voice chat that, and I remember this well, "Driving a tank and being a commander at the same time is frowned upon" in this server.
I replied, "Would you like the tank? I'll let you have it." I didn't really want to drive. I just wanted someone to use it, even if that someone was me!
He rejected my offer. He didn't want the tank. He just wanted me to be aware that the action was frowned upon on the server.
I wasn't kicked that day. I was kicked on a later date on that server for, in sheer desperation, attempting to (alone) hold off a coordinated attack by an enemy squad on an important outpost by using a tank as my team's commander. I took out three baddies before being taken out myself. Some of those baddies were in the server's clan. Yeah. Kicked by the enemy team for trying and failing to defend the map's most important outpost in a way they didn't like. Hardly the worst reason a server-owner has had for kicking, but still!
Moral of the story: Rules of etiquette are stupid. Rules need to be both enforceable and strictly enforced, or else dropped as rules.
Moral not of the story: Games aren't worth playing if you don't play like a lunatic from time to time. For instance, using 'Doctor' as your name prefix, and declaring doctor war when the enemy commander (also a doctor) uses artillery on you, with fitting retribution.
KD's Friday Fun Fact (#92)
Posted 12 years agoI saw this rather vorish article floating around a couple news sites recently. I like how they were careful to correct that "The sand tiger shark was tagged and released alive, while the dogfish was eaten by the sand tiger shark."
Very reassuring.
Also, attempting to beclever boring by saying "Sharkception!" is wrong. "Inception" referred to the implantation of an idea or thought within someone's subconscious without them realizing it was put there artificially. It doesn't refer to the whole "nested dream" thing.
Very reassuring.
Also, attempting to be
