doing a doodle stream!
https://picarto.tv/Shir0Designs

auifa I swear I keep meaning to work on art!
I've been dealing with my new roommate moving in and helping her settle in, and getting prepped for school while also sleeping for 20+h a day because of depression :')

I am working on things I swear I am just slow as dog shit right now because of life

Oh man
I'm so excited to move... 3 art programs from my desktop to my laptop

and then work on 1 artist liberty piece fr my friend Niwa, 4 ref sheets
and maybe get a personal piece crammed in the mix




I just want my current queue cleared up and people keep commissioning me and I suck at saying I'm full XD

I did this to myself. But hey at least I'll have stuff to upload

I suck for being active lol...
I'm going to try and get back into actually posting my art again and doing collabs with my love

Sometimes I just... sit up at some god awful time of day and just... think. I think how nice it would be to stop living, it would be so simple, I wouldn't be a burden anymore, I wouldn't be the cause and reason for people to be stressing anymore, I wouldn't have to worry about the things I've said and done that have hurt people, I could stop lingering on the shit people say to me. Maybe It'd finally free me, from the weight of living, the pain that courses through me the moment I wake up because I'm here when I don't want to, when I don't need to me.
I know I'm a problem child, I know they don't love or care about me for the fact that I'm different, I work different than they do, I have no issues opposing them when they're wrong, it's the difference between my siblings and I, why I'm the problem child they can do without... and that's fine. It means they won't miss me when I die anyway. And that's fine, I don't want to be missed, because there sin't anything to miss about someone like me.
We live to die. That's the objective we and all other living things hold. We try to preserve ourselves, and that's fucking stupid. Death is inevitable. We literally are here to die. It doesn't make sense to me that it's made to be such a big deal. Why do we connect ourselves? We're fated from birth to die, it is the only thing we are absolutely going to do in life.
It doesn't matter if I'm a couple hours old, still in development-stages or 20, it doesn't make a difference if I'm 108, I am still going to die, it's an objectives fate that we bare, so do cats, dogs, rats, reptiles..
We live to die, some of us decide there's more to it than death and that's also fine, that's their take on this miserable hell we call earth and our fated lives meant to die out...
But I don't want to be apart of it, I don't want to be a pawn in someones game to get forward or a stepping stone for someone looking to go farther when they have no real reason for anything




I'm fine, really, its just.... 6am and i havent slept, i dont want to wake anyone up this is just a vent thing, i promise

So, after a really fucking hard night my living situation is very questionable and up in the air. I'm doing 2 month long art slave spots for $150 each.
Quality you get? Flat color to full color busts/half bodies occasional full bodies and pixel art.
how often do I get them? 1-2 times a day, depends on some things. That's a minimum of 60 and a maximum of 120 pieces of art for $150.

Where will the money be going? Food, transport rent if I can find a new place soon.
Slots:
1.
2.

TOS applies (I realise I don't have the tos up here I'll do that today

I'm hyper depressed 24/6 in case no one knows sometimes I actively draw while depressed others not, sometimes I'm in bed for 4 days straight just kinda hoping everything ends.

I don't actively post because I forget to often though I try, really hard!

I've been working on cleaning my place and organizing my art station, sometimes it goes well and it stays organized others it doesn't, but when it does I actively feel ready to do the arts
like today