The newest episode had me on a special thanks list ^_^ So excited ^_^ if you haven't yet, check it out at https://www.furwhatitsworth.com ^_^

http://www.furwhatitsworth.com/?p=2061 for the newest episode : P

Seems too good to be true. Gonna try it out! neat profile too! ^_^

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5101472/

So I've just been officially enrolled in an online course to get my gr.12 physics credit!!!!

I'm really excited, but I'm worried about my old pattern of putting things off.

Now I have a lot of time to look through everything, though, and I'm really quite thrilled to learn, so I'm hoping it doesn't come back. Also, I have very few responsibilities and no work at the moment, so I can do this stuff ALL THE TIME and hopefully get it all finished pretty quick!

Just an update on my shtuff! ^_^
(SO EXCITED)



P.S. Encouragement hugs are very welcome : P

The funeral went well. very emotional. Difficult for an empath like me, but there were a lot of good feelings around, too, so it didn't hurt too much. First funeral in about 6 years and it was more uplifting than sad. they did a good job. Haven't really had a cry yet. it will come soon, I can almost guarantee it. Uncle Peter was the one who got me interested in flying, and I may get my pilot's license (when I can afford it) in his memory (it gives me an excuse ^_^ )

So I wake up this morning at 6:45 to a text message saying that my uncle had just passed away...

I then got a call about 5 minutes later asking me to work not from 9am-2pm like I'm scheduled, but 11am-9:30pm...

I'm a bit worried that I'm going to have a breakdown but Thursdays are usually a bit slower so I should be okay, but that means that I'll probably be quite alone there... Blargh... I don't like being alone.

I said yes, though, because I need the hours... I haven't told my boss, and probably won't. I probably won't even tell my co-workers...

edit: I called into work... mom needs me to be in London.... she's alone right now and I don't want her to FEEL like she's alone after losing her brother... I'm going to do what I can to help her and Uncle Eddy out these next few days. Sorry if I miss any events or meets.

Hey, so, positives! I went to a party last night! (Tonight, technically.... It's 3am now) and I met a WHOLE BUNCH of furs and it was fanTASTIC! I had so much fun, and I played games and watched movies and met with people and had drinks! I am ecstatic right now, and am going to sleep well tonight ^_^ (a rarity) I feel so great and it's all thanks to my new friends! It looks like I'm going to be less anti-social! YAY! ^_^


So, yeah, Thanks to all who helped me get out there, and those who welcomed me, quite graciously I might add! ^_^

Thanks Soran, for forcing me to get out there, and thanks Nuka for making me feel so at home here ^_^

blech. that's enough feely-feely for now ^///^ hopefully you'll hear from me again soon!

A hyena told me to do this so I'm doing it.


Do you have the following in your bedroom?

Condoms:
Behind my laptop

Cell phone:
technically

Book shelf:
nope

Couch:
No

Futon:
Kind of.... it's just the futon mattress with a sheet.

Computer/laptop:
Acer.

Pictures:
no

Mirror:
nuh-uh

Skateboard:
no

Bed:
See Futon

Smoke detector:
Nope

Piano/keyboard/Guitar/bass/drums:
no

Blacklight:
no

Lava Lamp:
No

CDs:
lots

Flag:
Assassin's Colonial Flag

Stop sign/any sign:
Nope

Paintball gun:
Nein

Real Gun:
just an AK bayonet

Cigarettes:
Nope

Pot:
No

Any drugs:
Lorazepam and allergy meds

Alcohol:
Some Waterloo Dark

Books:
Writing Books, The Orc King, DNAngel series, black, red, and white, witch and wizard, how to build a time machine

Ps2:
Niet

Xbox:
no

Gamecube:
Nope

Stereo:
I use my laptop or psp

Gum:
Can't chew gum, it makes my jaw snap(though sometimes I do anyways)

How many windows do you have in your room:
One

What is the color of your walls?
white

Do you get ready for the day in your room or the bathroom?
Both

What's on your walls?
a clock... it isn't mine

Has the opposite sex been in your room before?
Yes

Has the opposite sex been on your bed?
Yeah

Has the opposite sex slept in your bed?
no

Ever had sex in your bed?
Yes

Who usually sleeps in your bed other than you?
Nobody...

Do you like your bedroom:
not really. I'm moving when I can.



Guess that's it...
Apparently you gotta do it if you read it. So I did it. Now YOU do it.

Every time it seems like one part of my life gets sorted out, it (or everything) falls apart. The worst part? It is always my fault. I can't seem to let myself enjoy anything, I always push people away, or end up with massive amounts of hate for myself and/or others.... I can't let myself be happy... It sucks, and it pisses me off, but I can't help it, and I don't want it to happen. I used to say that I deserved it, but I don't know if that was ever true or not, or why. I have never hurt anyone on purpose, I have never allowed another to come to harm, without vast repercussions to myself. I cannot even begin to understand this, yet, it is ALWAYS me that does it. Any time I tell someone otherwise, it's a lie. I hate it. I want it to stop, but I don't know why it happens, so how can I prevent it? I just need to ramble, I guess... I don't even know why I'm typing this all out. I guess it's because I want help but I'm too scared to actively seek it.

Also, YAY my job fucked me over so now I work until 2pm or 3pm everyday except weekends and THAT'S IT so I have more time to be sociable and hang out... Except not because I'm pushing away all my housemates and anyone who lives near me, so instead I'm going to sit here, every afternoon, alone because I am such a dumbfuck.