A lot has happened in the last two-and-then-some years... Not dead, at least.
I got a job, got hurt at the job, went for over a year with a back injury getting misdiagnosed, settled the case, went back to school, got a degree, and a new job... In a nut shell, I suppose.

Will I start drawing again? I hope to try, but right now I have my hands full (though, to be fair, most of that is spent in World of Warcraft >_>;; ) but my new job starts up next week, so we'll see where that leaves me with time.

Um, so, yeah. I know a few people have kept in contact with me over the various IMs I'm on (AIM, MSN these days). I'm gonna try and get some of my art mojo back with some sketches. Over the last couple years I've drawn, like, twice, so it'll be some re-growing pains I guess.

Anyway, chiming in, thanks for all the watches and favs I've gotten recently. Glad that people still like some of my work, even though I know it's not at all that good.

When I get back into drawing, I'll probably hide stuff, or delete it, or whatever. I'm not sure. Maybe kick everything to scraps that I don't like, I don't know. But there you are.

I'm not dead, haven't fallen off the Internet at all, or anything like that. Not quite.

Back in July I went through a big move, and now I'm nice and settled in South Carolina. It's nice down here, though I imagine at some point I may start missing snow, but for that I can go back to my parents for a week or two in the middle of winter and wish for some, I guess. Until then, I'll enjoy my 70-80° days, and going to the beach in November without freezing my ass off.


I've been rather busy as of late and I don't know when I'll get the chance to upload here once again. Hopefully soon but I can't make any reasonable promises.

It's more likely than you think..


Hypothetically speaking, were I to have a ustream channel/board/show/whatev, would any of you want to watch it? I'm still really on the fence about the whole shebang, but as it'd be entertainment for the masses beyond just what I throw up here (because there's a lot I don't, as most of it is crap) I figured I'd at least get a poll for interest from you, my live viewing audience. If you're a recorded viewing audience, well I can't help you there, sorry =(


Just thought I'd ask, as I'm looking at maybe doing it.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and a happy December 25th otherwise.


I haven't posted much recently, for various reasons that ultimately don't matter, but I'll try and post some more.

http://www.sexhelp.com/sast.cfm

I scored a 1. lol

I read this interesting article that talks about how to properly fit oneself for bras and such. Informative for me at least, but I'd definitely recommend any female watchers I have (lol girls on the internetz) to go and check it out should your bra not be comfortable, among other things listed there. I was honestly surprised by a few things the article talked about.

From an artistic point of view, it helps knowing what a properly-fitting undergarment ought to look like, so that I can come up with more natural and realistic-looking artses, rather than "her boobs are huge and she's wearing a bra, so they need to squish together a lot". Also means I need to rethink the actual sizes of my female characters, as they appear to be off after reading that.


Also, I promise I'll get back to drawing soon. Between a lack of inspiration and motivation, plus familial troubles, it's not been at the top of my list.

Got off my ass and tossed a few of my more-better pics onto my FAP gallery. Nothing that isn't here, but god forbid FA go down again, I'll still toss things up there.

... only this time, it's not for me. In about three hours my mother is going to the hospital for an operation, and I can't sleep.

All my thoughts are that of "What if the operation goes wrong?" and me fighting, mentally, the thoughts that it could go wrong and further, what I'd do. And part of me believes that, with the way this year has gone, I should almost expect it to go wrong.

She's getting a hysterectomy done, and there's a lot of side effects and risks associated with it, however most are post-op stuff, increased risk of this or that because of the surgery, etc.



I honestly don't know what I'd do with myself if something went wrong. This year has been so god-awful shitty for me, I might just crawl in a hole and die.

Last night I was workin on my final class for my degree (it's an online school, which I cannot recommend to anyone, as there's a lot of hassles) and I realized something that's really drained all the energy out of me to continue much of anything I have going on.

My graphic design work (yes, I don't just draw furry porn) is nowhere to be found on any of the hard drives I have, and of the three or four CDs I burned the stuff onto from my old classes (I took a diploma program in an actual classroom, where I did work I was actually proud of, rather than the piece of shit classes I'm taking online), but it's in a Mac format, so my PC refuses to read it.


So, last night when I really needed the files, it was upsetting. But once I got beyond the immediate need for them, it really set in that, unless I can find the CDs and copy the data off them, I'll have lost about two years' worth of work, and that is really depressing beyond words.


As we don't have a Mac here at home (which I've tried to get, but nobody else cares to have one, sooo), my only other feasible option would be putting Mac OS X onto this PC.
I know that it's possible, as OS X has since moved to an x86 instruction base, but I don't know how I would go about installing it on the computer.


Do any of you have experience with this? Do I need to download a program to emulate a Mac environment and allocation table? Or can I just partition a small amount of my hard drive and restart with an OS X CD and install onto that partition, and dual-boot?

I'm looking for an easy, non-permanent solution, as all I need to do (once I find my other CDs) is to copy files into a mutually-accessible folder for the two OSes.

HAHAHAHAAHhahahahahaha.. hahaha...

hah.

Today is my birthday. I am 25.

And it's snowing.


I'm going back to bed.

For those of you concerned about it (and I think there's like, one of you out there), my cast is comin off Dec 6th, which is a day after my birthday.
Following that, I'll probably upload a nice burst of images, because it sucks not being able to draw ;_; So keep your eyes peeled for that!

Also I'm not above accepting birthday gifts either >_> but I don't really expect any either so I benefit from low expectations =D

Tomorrow mornin (which would be Tuesday morning for those playing at home) I'm gonna be goin up to my grandparents for Thanksgiving, and I'll be back Friday sometime.

Just a word to those I don't reach tonight to let them know.
I'll still be online, but in a very limited capacity.


Hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving, if you celebrate it, and try to avoid the mobs on Black Friday.

Remember that sprained finger thing? Yeah, it didn't really get better, so I went back to the doctor for it, and now I am in a cast.

Dammit.

So, as a few of you know, I like to go bowling. It's a fun sport that involves a lot of thinking and stuff, as well as throwing large objects at unsuspecting dead trees.

Well, I've been bowling for well over ten years, but this is the first time I seriously hurt myself at it. Tuesday last week, felt like I pulled a tendon or muscle or somethin when I released a ball, but I finished out that series and went home and treated it as such, with ice then soaking in warm water.
Didn't ease the pain at all, so I went to an orthopedic doctor, and he took x-rays, and thought I mighta broke my finger (stress fracture, not a clean break, but still painful and a bit dangerous in its own right).

After another set of x-rays and an MRI, was determined I just sprained my finger, and so I got a shot of cortizone (which, for those who've never had it, hurts like almost nothing else) and now I'm nice and back home, with a finger I can't use for about a week and a half.


Soooo... despite my wanting to do a few Halloween-themed images, I'm gonna be unable to =D yay~



I hate 2007.

Okay, this has been coming up quite a bit more recently than I care to have it, so I'm gonna try and stave off future problems right now.


I like to RP. I don't mind RPing with other people; however, I am not a bouncing board for whatever little fantasies you personally have. I am not here for you to get off. If you get off to my art, then that's your own choice in dealing with inanimate digital things.
I RP with people I like, people I enjoy talking to. If you don't ever talk with me, and only want to RP, then I will not do anything with you.

To go along with that, if for whatever reason I do decide to RP with you, I will not ever have my characters say that they "love" your characters, or be involved in any kind of relationship of that level. My characters are very much a part of me, and if I don't give a rat's ass about you, neither will they. Yes, I may ask how you're doing and try and converse about something affecting you, but that's not me caring: that's me being polite (something wasted on a lot of my generation, I've come to find).
There are only four people outside of my family I have ever said that to online. One doesn't come online much anymore, one I don't talk with much anymore, and the other two have, this past year, attempted to kill themselves. So, as you might gather, I'm not overly interested in adding more people to the pool of good friends who disappear forever (or try to).

I'm not going to lie, I enjoy some of the more sexually-charged stuff I do with people online, But that's not all I'm about, and I don't make friends through it. I don't give a damn who you are, even if you're a busty blonde bombshell who'd be willing to become my sex slave for the rest of my life if I show you a good time online, I'm not gonna RP with you if I don't like you. I'm not exactly the best person to talk to about social skills, but really, it's common courtesy to at least ask someone how they're doing and feign interest if nothing else.


I really, really don't need to RP with people to get by online either. Sure I get bored every now and then, but I can draw and play WoW and other games. And I certainly don't need the online sex. No, I've got plenty of memories of the real sex I've had to more than tide me over through my single life. None of the images, none of the stories, none of the movies I have on my computer can compare to those. So trust me, you as an individual will not surpass it.


So please, before you even ask about RPing or talking about how horny you are and how much you need to get off to some text and imagination of a female, remember that there's an actual person behind the text, and that person is highly likely to get pissed off to all hell if you continue badgering him about stroking your e-penis.


/rantoff

I'm stupid. And I hurt.


Saying what's right is never worth it.

My dog, Muffin, a lhasa-apso, had been suffering the last few days from something that was causing her to itch, and to sleep more than usual, and to not eat or drink.

Before that, she had a liver infection of some sort that my family tried to treat, but the vet could never say for certain was cured.

Before that, she had jumped poorly from a couch in my house, tore her ACL, and despite attempts at healing it, the pain from it persisted and she could never put a lot of weight on the leg.

Before that, she had developed some arthritis in the hip of that same leg, making her less active than she normally was, but we gave her some aspirin whenever it seemed to be bothering her excessively.

Before that, she had a soft heart murmur, indicative of a valve in her heart not functioning quite as it should, but the vet assured us that it was nothing harmful.



Even after all of this, she still continued to function as much of a part of my family as any other. She would sit next to one of the chairs during dinner, she would watch movies or tv with us, she would go with us to visit my grandparents with the family.


We took her to the vet this morning, and we were told that she was suffering from internal bleeding, and that a cyst of some sort had formed on her right side, near her lung, that was pushing down on her stomach, making her believe herself to be full despite the protests to the contrary from her stomach. The vet said that surgery was an option, but there were no guarantees that it would prolong her life or even lessen the pain she was feeling.

So, at 7:30pm Eastern Time, my dog, Muffin, had her last meeting with her family, and despite the sad faces and crying, still managed to appear healthy and normal amidst the pain she was coping with. Several minutes later, she was sleeping peacefully - probably moreso than she has for the last several weeks - as the euthanizing agent stole her life away and ended her pain.

At roughly 7:45pm, my dog Muffin, whom I had known for the last 15 years, was finally at peace and without pain.


My house has never been quieter, has never felt so cold and lonely, as it does now. I know that she's in a better place now, and that's about all I can think of to keep me moving forward.

Losing a family member is very hard. It's even harder when they can't talk, and can't express themselves enough to possibly head off that which ultimately takes them from this world.

Was working on a quick little template thing for another person's site, and that got me thinking about a site of my own... I don't really... have a site...

But! I was curious as to how many people actually visit an artist's site, who has a DA or FA or FAP or Yiffstar page? I know I personally don't tend to keep up on sites when a person has a gallery like on FA or DA, but what about others?


Also, my OCs don't seem to be terribly interesting to people... will prolly stop putting those up and just do finished pics off them, if there are any. *nods*


And I needed a new journal to cover up the previous one, cos I don't wanna seem like a whiney little bitch. Yay =D

I put this on my DA, but it's making its rounds here, so why not

-=-=-=-=-

To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."

To every guy that's said, "You're BEAUTIFUL."

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town (or across the state) to see her.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that REALLY would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

To every guy that cried in front of her.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with MEANING.

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give his jacket up for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home even though she went home with that other guy.

To every guy that would sit and WAIT for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to CUDDLE.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he CARED through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought maybe this could be the ONE.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that WASN'T just trying to get laid.

To every guy that gave his HEART and SOUL.

To every guy who PRAYS that she is HAPPY even if you are not with her.


***Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore ... And because of this, there are not many left out there!!!

If you are a nice guy repost this with "Nice guys finish last." in great big letters

If you are a girl that thinks every guy should try to accomplish even a few of these repost this with: "To the nice guys left behind"

The movie was fucking hilarious. If you're a fan of the series (but not so die-hard as to hold it as infallible and untouchable, yeck) then you'll get a great laugh out of the movie.

I honestly can say I was waiting to see what happened next, but not in a suspense/thriller kinda way. Definitely worth the *coughmatineecough* price, to be sure. There were a bunch of references to the series and the original movie tossed in, lots of parodies (a lot of references came up in the stupidest of places =p).
Everyone cheered when Optimus Prime delivered the fatal blow to Bonecrusher, it was great =p

And Megatron's "You have failed me yet again, Starscream" sent my brother and I almost to the floor laughing. Yes, we almost rofled.


I suppose there's room for a sequel, what with Starscream running, like the coward he is, and Prime calling the other Autobots. But I wouldn't hedge too much on it, really, and honestly I think it's better left unsequelized.


But yeah, definitely a movie to see if you have a good sense of humor and a taste for explosions. It is, after all, still a Michael Bay film. =B

10. Yes, artists deserve the "ridiculous" prices they charge. Consider the fact that your average pic takes about four hours from sketch to final coloring: if you pay $40 that's $10 an hour. So no, $10 is not an appropriate price for a full-color, full length drawing.

9. Just because they draw pr0n doesn't mean they'll draw your pr0n.

8. Bitching at an artist every hour until they do your commission is not a good way to motivate them.

7. Just because she's submissive doesn't mean she wants to submit to you. Just because she's domme doesn't mean she wants you as a pet.

6. It's okay to live and let live. The fact that they don't share your interest doesn't make them a bad person. Pushing your interests on them makes you a jerk.

5. Chatting with someone for five minutes does not mean they love you, nor does it make them your friend, your mate, your buddy, nor even a casual acquaintance.

4. Believing you're actually a dragon in a human body is fine. Thinking this makes you so much better than everyone else out there makes you a narcissistic jerk.

3. It's spelled HUMAN. H-U-M-A-N. If you use "Hyoomon" in serious conversation, you are either a Ferengi or a moron.

2. Buying a commission from an artist does not entitle you to cybor or picz. Buying a book from Barnes and Nobel doesn't entitle you to a free bj from the author.

1. When in doubt, remember Winston Churchill: "A fanatic is someone who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."

-=-=-=-

Stolen from  kandlin who stole it from some others =3 All of this is so very very true.

I've had friends who used to be abusers of whatever drug they had easy access to: pot, crack, meth, prescription drugs, whatever. But a good number of them had overcome their addictions, sometimes with a little help from me, sometimes not, and had seemingly moved on.

And then, for some of the stupidest reasons out there, they go back to the substance after being off it for months, or years, and they do the stupidest things. These stupid things, in turn, lead to a trigger for the end of my relationship with that person. And I'm fucking tired of it.


I mean, is the world so fucking gone, that people have to turn to some external, manufactured high to escape their lives (which aren't as bad as they make them out to be) rather than just dealing with their feelings and their thoughts. Do they seriously lack even an ounce of willpower to say "No, I don't fucking need this to get through this." or "No, I don't do that stuff anymore."

For fuck's sake, I'm getting sick to my stomach over the number of people I lose to these narcotics and drugs. Just using it, okay, I'm not cool with that but a person can work through that. But the incredibly stupid things they do that really, really hurt who I thought of them, and make it difficult to even talk to that person anymore, I'm really fucking sick of it.


I always thought I was meant to be one with very few friends, and fewer love interests of any sort, but goddammit I never wanted to be forced into that position.

I wanna send thank yous out to all those who've watched me recently =)

I've hit a bit of an oekaki streak, putting out a few pics over the last week or two. I hope to have more full-fledged stuff up soon.

Thank you again, to all those new watchers, and of course, the continued watchers as well =)