kind hard seem it was only 10 days away now 3 days... feeling miserable today with heat begin over top to point making me sick to with my gut.

well in 10 days i turn 36 this year.

after today be one month away from turning 36 this year... kind of happy it's coming and kind not.. so far this year for me so far been huge let downs.

My distaste of Patreon still grows with lack of people just flat out bait than just right out tell you it's going be censure picture....
It's simple thing to do than but the choose not say what it is than upfront...
theses kind royal dumb moves push more nail in coffin for Patreon for me just seem like bait and switch paywall site....
Even if can 1 buck still get low end of totem pole...... STILL NOT WORTH PAYING FOR SOMETHING IT WAS ALL READY FREE TO SEE BEFORE THIS SHIT WALL OF PAYWALL SITE.....
And so many jumping bandwagon for this site still don't understand need for it... just isolate your self from people can afford to and then people can't afford to.....
This huge sore spot for me....
Not everyone has money to spare in this infest world of money grabbers.

it's lot of blood in video but good song.

Well last Sunday well motor had something happen around midnight had wait till Monday to get it repaired... well we did than it died again, we replaced pressure switch due looking little burnt.. than pick up again repaired few secs of giving it power it was fine than pop than boom than puff of smoke the capstiered blow in it.
now to get water have hook up hose to our neibers behind us.
three days lifeing that motor off and taking back along with tieing blots for it my arms killing me... i tend be one have carry it my dad can't really after stroke he had few years ago... this starting take it toll on my arms.. seem i might be double jointed in my elbows anther part of my body has it found hard way.

seem this been released here in us in as March 4th
with dub or subtitled ver in movie theaters

Well after x-mas i had go Walmart and kind of shock to see the all ready have Valentine's Day crap up!!!!!!!!
Valentine's Day one day of year i tend sleep whole day away to many bad memory's and very few good ones.
That day tend be always single or dumped few days or weeks before it,So had very little chance to have someone to share with someone.

gotten to point say this many times but this time seem more true than i wanted admit to my self at given times.
I'm Reindeer that tend hide in darkest parts just build up wall all around my self to keep world away from me,i felt this way for really long time in my life just gotten worse with age.i haven't many positive reinforcements to go out my comforted zone in all my life....only had few.....my aunt going nuts keep me more even in state of fear for time she did.....I gone out limb once for one person was in trouble i loved them gave them home... than 3 good year with them before the pass away my first and only real life boyfriend....personally i don't want go thought hurt.... had gone thought losing my both my grandparents growing up... i very small family now...
I can't count my sister she turn in royal bitch to me,my mom and dad after she had kid... her husband is good guy.
I'm reindeer kind lost path when was really young when i keep getting picked,made fun,get called names for doing nothing... never harming someone... i think did because wasn't norm for guy and i keep to my self.
i'm emotionally damaged from other thoughtless actions to me over some royal dumb things.. make worse my one my own family did to me to.
i hide to keep away from world to keep my self safe from other actions sometimes meaningful other time not so...
Sorry if i don't talk much...my social skills kind lacking so i don't talk much some times
i'm venting out some just bottle up emotions that just part of huge build up.
*goes back to bed than goes lay down with bunch covers over top self head to hoof with antlers be seen with covers over them.*

Well if i want go upgrade win 10 i need get new video card well i brought one it is
msi r6450-2gd3h/lp radeon hd 6450 2gb 64-bit
more power to my gaming now.

i thought all get laugh at this, something i been starting watch this series of videos.

with big help from my rl family i got money for my steam account and i brought FNAF4 i made to night 2 and this one omg make ya shit ya pants with just how the game make ya go insane quickly with just judge just close door or turn light on!

I tend stay in shadows, try act like not there tend works to well some times.
I guess from years of no real stable friends growing up, ever school seem had go differt one due dumb ass school board change school bounders, maybe stay one year at school that it due to that.
Only time spent more than year at school is during high school due fact my aunt and mom had write to state senator about all this moving due fact i was SLD student because school want keep school grade A to keep there high funding.Well the senator wrote back and it pissed all bunch school system about force keep me there due to that letter.
I'm only one out my original SLD group got move school to school that pass high school with Normal diploma and didn't drop out.
So i found staying in shadows kind keep me away from getting hurt during all my school years,but i still stuck out sore thumb in shadows some times get harassed, get called names, most called in school was" Fat or Gay", at time i wasn't sure i was gay, That kind stuff still hurts me all these years... i done nothing wrong in this world i'm kind person trys stay out stuff... I hide stay away from pain of lost, pain of loneliness... i'm broken shell of person been hurt so many times in my life i don't even know how i'm even alive to make being 35 years old.
i just fucking admit it to my self not matter what other say i'm bloody tiger been living very sad life of loneliness i just keep going doing not changing it... I'm tried of all rejection i get trying love some one... my love always be Unconditionally to that person... all i expect is same back.
my stripes fade over time just giving in void of nothingness.....I lost most of fight in me after my own aunt put me in state of pure fear and depressed state of mind with all her threats... she was one i trusted the most in my life due my mom fucking up when i was kid.. she atlest trying make up for now...
I hate my self being so overly emotionally...but part who i'm and my heart been shatter so much i don't know how can still care.. all happen to me made careless about my self and care more for others..

i'm still hiding in shadows away from others just keep having more hurt... or just keep from go back in over depressed mode... most ignore my i know when comes stuff like this.
This my way getting out of my system and so can go back to shadows just hide away my fade stripes and fade orange color....along with my heart.

i'm broken tiger been thought dark times in my life.... opening up veil of shadows i hide in not easy task for one been broken,used,lied to.

---

Five Nights At Freddy's LIVE ACTION FILM COLD STORAGE (Fan Film)

damm the did very good job!

Well seem password written down for my So furry account site dose't work and tried account recover never got the email going on three days.
And i found out two cups of star bucks via Peppermint Mocha send me on hyper rampage of trying do alot stuff and keep me awake for long ass time.

I been so bored between getting bug in rl do stuff... i barely been able stand doing much online with boredom laping at back of my skull as lately.
only thing got my mind off it has been moding and upgrade my gator av last few days on sl,not having boyfriend around and just being tad anti-soical dose's help me at all.
lack stuff do on wow kind sucks at min with wod huge flop of lack of content that worth time.

this week is same time when my only boyfriend i had in real life past away, going on few years now.. i still get very emotionally and kind little just avoiding contact some times.
i only put this out here just keep out my mind,not get attention whore kind thing.. i can barely tell living soul how i feel.. when i'm depressed. I just give fake smile when i'm down.

i'm kind glad came a cross this little bit of news about Solid-state hd and this why never use them for keep data on.
http://www.zdnet.com/article/solid-.....st-a-few-days/

Woot woot i'm 35 now!

well i'll be 35 satday.