...to feel okay with your body, being aware you still need to lose some weight ?
Yeah youget that for like 12 hours and then your mom comes around to tell you "you rlly need to lose weight... its unhealthy... (90kg / 200lbs at 180cm/ 5'11)...but i still love you"
Then you cry because you have never been able to lose weight and you were just motivated enough to try again... but then it all got crushed.
You look at yourself in the mirror and just see yourself 10 times heavier than before
You look at your legs and realize how fat they are, that your lower leg is the size of what your upper leg is supposed to be...
You feel like you have a double or triple chin
Every inch of fat makes you feel worthless...

I cant go running / exercise much. Im in school from 6am til 5pm and then i have homework to do.
My hypothyroidism fucks me over.
I am fat and ugly, my weight is unhealthy and i should be ashamed of how ive never lost weight.

and i have been for a looong time
it really bothers me that i am this demotivated
I still have to finish so many things but mostly i sit in front of SAI and stare at them
and school is gonna start again on monday so i practically wasted a lot of time. yay.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR.....2mo7jLAsZmcFUg

I would be soooo happy if you could just like
do the thing
hit the button
you know ;333
NO DONT REPORT ME :V

so yeah what i'm planning to do there is more streams WHERE IM ACTUALLY TALKING but more importantly Tutorials, Animation memes, Challenges idk :D whatever is fun !
sadly nobody commented on my previous journal so idk if anyone is even interested in tutorials or other stuff ;3;
but yeah!

Would you like to see tutorials from me ? and if so, what would you like to see ? Shading, hair,.... ? :D
I just thought some youtube videos that arent Speedpaints would be fun ! although my english isnt always the best and im really shy haha

but you take the test 4 more times to see that 4/5 tests say you're Hufflepuff.
OH WELL I GUESS
NO WAY OF CHANGING IT NOW
Idk what I would prefer, i feel like I'm cheating but it said Hufflepuff 4 times so I'll just deal with it. Also Hufflepuff is cute. But i like Gryffindor ;_; MY DAD WAS SO PROUD WHEN I GOT GRYFFINDOR I'M A FAILURE
hahaha

when i got my first ones, i got the anniversary set....
which I didnt realize HOW DUMB that was
if you buy all sets of copic sketch of one number (24,36,72) you have all markers.
now the anniversary pack doesnt fit in.
so no matter what i buy ill have doubles.

Zomvivi being me, 2 being some normal watcher and yeah. that ridiculous person.
why do these always happen to me ? XDDD


Zomvivi: hey ! :D
2: Hi
Zomvivi: how are you ? :D
2: I'm good, yourself?
thatridiculousperson: this is nsfw or sfw? or general
Zomvivi: general = sfw this is SFW.
thatridiculousperson: oh god because im underage as fuck
Zomvivi: same ?
thatridiculousperson: for real, im underage
Zomvivi: great so what ?
thatridiculousperson: i got banned two times picarto for watching NSFW draiwngs
Zomvivi: then dont say youre underage in every sentence ? also you can see if a stream is sfw or nsfw
thatridiculousperson: not every sentence.
Zomvivi: "for real, I'm underage" as if that was something so special nobody would believe you
thatridiculousperson: why do i all ways see everyone makes streaming or i see free arts on streaming
Zomvivi: what ? well whatever, as an underage hooman you wont die if you see nsfw. trust me. I've seen it- ive even multistreamed nsfw
thatridiculousperson: and you got banned ?
Zomvivi: no as you see i didnt. why would i ?
thatridiculousperson: i can't make new picarto account anymore
Zomvivi: your fault
thatridiculousperson: do you have problem? with that
Zomvivi: no. why would i have a problem with you not being able to make an account
thatridiculousperson: Blame on those people
Zomvivi: why ?
thatridiculousperson: that didn't put on SFW or NSFW for streaming
Zomvivi: well if you see dicks its clearly nsfw and your fault for staying. now dont complain to me please, im just an artist trying to work.
thatridiculousperson: i like girls
Zomvivi: i don't like stupid human beings.
thatridiculousperson: wow. racist
Zomvivi: sure ?
*thatridiculousperson leaves*
FatalWolfie: I was going to say #DickOutForVivi but they left. >D

a simple char would work best !
SFW refs only ! :D

Ill use this to bring you yet another excuse.
I havent been active over the past... months. Weeks. Whatever.
I am really sorry, ill try to get back into drawing quicker and more actively... but i also have to focus on school more, especially now the phase of 2 classtests a week is coming up.
Thank you all sooo much for your understanding and welcome all my new watchers ♡♡

I will open commissions up again as soon as im completely done with my queue, and ill also only take like 3 slots at once. And still those will have to keep in mind that im slow.

And because of all of that: a special thanks to my Patrons ♡
They ofc dont pay me money for nothing, its more like a monthly commission but whatever. Thank you sooo much for supporting me and for keeping me a small "income" around these times that I'm not too actively drawing ♡

So yeah thank you for 900 watchers, thanks for the ones who have watched me a while ago and have stayed, watching me improve, and thanks to those who are new here ! ♡♡♡

I cant stop feeling worthless. Fat. Like a horrible person.

Nobody wants to hang out with me. Im too fat to be attractive. People talk about me as a virgin because they think a person like me could never get a boyfriend.
Im alone.
Im that girl who will never get a bf because shes not good enough...

Meanwhile on the internet i seem to be fine.
I dont get how.
I just want to feel pretty. I want to feel like im worth it. I want to go to parties without being stared at because i shouldve never come. I want to feel liked.

But I can't.
I was so positive to not let this mood hit me but im done
Im done with being that worthless chick who nobody will ever find pretty
Im tired of people looking at me as soon as overweight is mentioned.
Im tired of people telling me how easy it would be to lose weight. But then they dont listen to what i have to say about hypothyroidism. They say its nothing.
Im tired of people telling me i should dress to change my shape to look skinnier, prettier... like i am worth it.

Ive been crying. For so long. Yet i cant seem to find anyone to help me. This post wont help me either.
Its just to push my selfconfidence for now. But it wont last long.
Im broken.

not give a fuck about my figure.
Ofc that does'nt mean I will stop wearing "flattering" things- but more so I'll wear what i like to wear.

I can't wear croptops still, my mom wont let me out like that.
BUT FUCK IT.
I'd really like to get a Bikini, but I'm pretty sure i won't be confident enough to show my belly that much
But why not wear a tight skirt ? or a tighter shirt ? WHY ?!
Because it looks "unflattering" ?!?!? Why do i need to look flattering ?!
I should'nt need to hide myself to be accepted.
I should be able to feel confident in a Bikini. It should be socially acceptable for me to get and wear one.
But it isn't. I can't be skinny from one day to the other and that should not have to limit myself. This damn hypothyroidism has been limiting me for too long -
SO FUCK ALL OF THIS.
I'LL FEEL CONFIDENT IN MY DAMN SWIMSUIT.
AND ILL GO SHOPPING- FOR AAALL THE GREAT THINGS.

https://t.me/joinchat/AAAAAEDgqkZ_xCRzDJ3w2Q
Thought it might be a fun idea.

No rp, especially not creepy ones... SFW only. Pleeaaase.
Like *hugs* are okay... just not all the time. Like it kind of creeps me out and annoys me when people keep *hugging* me or other people all the time.
Things like *flops* or *slow clapping* are not considered RP :D

So yeah i feel kinda awkward about it because like
i watched a video today of like people from 5-75 talking about their goals in life and around my age it was all like
being succsessfull and popular or to be rich
and you know what i answer everytime ?
To be financially independent. AND THAT IS (almost) WORD FOR WORD what the 23 year old said.
yup. haha xD
i mean its only like a 7 years difference (LOL)
but yeah, what are your goals ? :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZT.....u.be&t=41s

idk why its so funny to me
also you're welcome to watch to the end i'm crying haha xDDD

PARTY!!!!
woop woop ! welcome all the new watchers hahaa

PLEASE please please please inform yourself about the prices of the one you want to commission first ;3; especially if you're going for something big like a full background image or a ref-sheet.
I always feel bad when people ask for something and then end off saying "oh... that's too expensive for me"-
I feel soooo bad i feel like i'm charging too much and i just... yeah. You can't expect me to take 20$ for a full detailed Reference, sorry.
I hope you guys get what i mean... ;3; it just makes me feel awkward ;3;

So... when i got into the furry fandom i saw that everyone had a sona, so i wanted to make myself one.
First my colour choices were red and black (because red and black just look awesome) , but so many people use that combination... so i went with being different and took white instead of black.
The grey paws. Thats probably the funniest thing. I didnt really design keyla to be pretty (i am and was not good at designing) but i was preparing to make a fursuit out of her. So white paws wouldve looked dirty much faster and thats just something i didnt want, so i chose grey.
Then the eyes. That's the only part i gave keyla that i have. Because my eyes are the one thing about me that i really love. They're not that bright, but also... if i remade keyla i would probably not choose such saturated colours... although i now think they look pretty nice.... hm.
But as said i love my bright blue eyes so i made them a part of keyla, since she is probably the better version of me ?
I didnt really have a personality for her. Just that she has similar interests like me... i still cant imagine her as an artist though. Its weird. But she loves swimmimg and gaming ! :)
Also by "better me" i mean the "low fat" version of me lol :)

That's all i can think of and feel free to make this a meme and do something like this yourself, i'd love to read a few of these ^^
If you have any questions about me / Keyla please ask ! Im in a chatty mod

I had a dream of Billy Talent.
The dream wasnt mainly about them but like
I hugged Ben. And i got an autograph from Ian on my Hairbrush ?!!?!? However that got there.
I almost cried. Omg. Help me i need to see them again. lol

let's start with something simple: Freebies.
You know how there's a lot of artists who do Freebie streams right ? and you also know how there's those people that only care for the free art right ?
well you can't avoid those, and i'm not talking about those today.
IM gonna talk about that kind of asshole that is so outrageous that you just want to draw dicks all over the freebie. and i don't mean dicks in like porn i just mean ruining the whole art with them.
so here's a simple example:
you win a freebie in a freebie stream. It gets done and you just say "but i wanted a halfbody" or "can you shade it please" or "i dont like the expression / pose / WHATEVER"
IT'S A FREEBIE.
that means: there's almost NOTHING you can complain about.
1. the artist gets your markings wrong.
that's the artists mistake and most artists will glady correct mistakes like this ^.^
2. the artist starts drawing fetishy / nsfw stuff (which also counts gore) when you don't want it.
that's my personal oppionion but artists should NEVER just draw porn or fetish stuff without asking first (had that happen to my boyfriend who commissioned something, got into the stream, went afk and when he came back he saw that the artist was just drawing porn which both I and him don't want (mostly I))
just don't do it :)

If you want the right to complain about ANYTHING else than that (except i forgot something that should be changed by the artist despite it being a freebie) COMMISSION THE ARTIST.
If an artist IS AS NICE as to give you FREE ART they have like almost complete freedom (except for the things listed above). They want to do a headshot ? they do that. they want to make it look sad ? who cares. BE HAPPY ITS FREE ART.
Of course you can suggest things to artists like mood or pose depending on what theyre doing, a lot of artists also ASK for suggestions. But if the artist wants freedom with what to do with the freebie LET IT BE. if you don't want the artist to have almost complete freedom, COMMISSION THEM. LET THAT FREEBIE TO SOMEONE WHO'LL BE GLAD TO HAVE IT. NO MATTER IF ITS JUST A SKETCHY HEADSHOT OR A CUTE CHIBI.

thank you for reading ♥
these are really fun for some reason, and i know i'm not too good at getting my thoughts together and expressing them yet. but yeah we'll get there :D

i know this sounds weird BUT I LOVE getting my oppinion on something and throwing it out there.
Idk why, but for example: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7858161/
i love writing things like this
it doesnt have to be things to be particularly angry about, but just anything that i could talk about in little journals from time to time !
so if you have any topics GIVE THEM TO ME

⦁ You May Not Resell The Character If You Win It. (With or with out art on it)
⦁ You may Trade/Gift the design if you no longer want it.
⦁ You are allowed to make small edits to the design.


I'm pretty sure everyone of you has read rules like these before.
and now here comes my rambling:
I AM SO SURE THAT THESE RULES ARE INVALID
as soon as you buy / win or however get a character ITS YOUR PROPERTY AND THE OWNER BEFORE YOU CAN NOT TELL YOU THE DO'S AND DON'T'S OF YOUR PROPERTY.
If you get a character from an artist: it's their art and they keep every right on their art. You can not do anything against that. BUT THE ARTIST SOLD THE RIGHTS ON THE CHARACTER TO YOU. SO IT'S YOURS. EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE ART ITSSELF IS YOURS AND YOU CAN SELL THE CHARACTER YOU CAN THROW IT AWAY YOU CAN DO ANYTHING WITH IT.
I might be wrong in a lot of ways but that's just my opinion.
It's like selling let's say your used phone on ebay and telling the buyer "you can't change the case, you can't sell the parts of this mobile phone you can only give it away because it was once MINE."
JFGSKDJHFS

Edit: heres the law part: as soon as you recieve full payment for something you were selling its not your property anymore

https://www.amazon.de/United-Labels.....ds=Keks+Kissen

https://www.amazon.de/United-Labels.....DK3429XGKXZFHA
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

- Name: Vivi
- Single or taken: Taken >3>
- Sex: female o3o
- Birthday: June.29.2000
- Sign: CANCER >3>
- Hair color: purple / natural Blonde
- Eye color: blue :3
- Height: 5'11 owo
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: I guess I'm straight lol

____________________________________________________________________________
S P E C I F I C S
____________________________________________________________________________

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: Fructis shampoo for hair with greacy roots LOL
- What are you listening to right now?: My bf hyping Rise of the Tomb Raider :3
- Who is the last person that called you?: My bf xD
- How many buddies are online right now?: do you really think I'll count ?! >_>

____________________________________________________________________________
F A V O U R I T E S
____________________________________________________________________________

- Animal: Dragon... Cat... Panda...
- Colour: cyan
- Drink: Rockstar Sour Apple
- Element: Fire, Water
- Food: COOKIES
- Game: Portal, BattleBlock Theater, Heavy Rain, Life is Strange, Until Dawn
- Movie: Coraline
- Song: DAS BEER BOOT xDD
- Subjects in school: Physics, English, German
- T.V.: The Flash, Supernatural

____________________________________________________________________________
H A V E | Y O U | E V E R
____________________________________________________________________________

- Given anyone a bath?: myself. my dog. lol
- Smoked?: Hookah ;3;
- Bungee jumped?: NEVER EVER >_>
- Skinny dipped?: Nope
- Ever been in love?: Yeah...
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: No. although my parents think i always do.
- Pictured your crush naked?: no xD
- Cried when someone died?: Yes. can't hold back. I'm emotional
- Lied: I think if anyone say's no... they have to change their answer to yes immediately. since that was also a lie xD
- Fallen for your best friend?: I wanted to say no. but fuck yes i did ;-;
- Used someone?: No
- Done something you regret?: MANY TIMES. SOCIALLY AWKWARD

____________________________________________________________________________
C U R R E N T
____________________________________________________________________________

- Clothes: Black Shirts and Jeans. yup.
- Desktop picture: http://www.quoteslike.com/images/97.....eBc3-quote.jpg
- CD in player: none
- DVD in player: none
- How many pets: My dog. he's a coward.

____________________________________________________________________________
L A S T | P E R S O N
____________________________________________________________________________

- You touched: Myself ? xD
- Hugged: one of my bestfriends, Monique
- You kissed: My ex...
- You IMed: Justin
- Talk to online: my bf
- You sexed it up with: uhm...

___________________________________________________________________________
A R E | Y O U
___________________________________________________________________________

- Understanding?: probably
- Open-minded?: kinda
- Arrogant?: no. I just know I'm better
- Insecure?: OH YES. PERFECT WORD TO DESCRIBE ME
- Random?: NEVER :ccc
- Hungry?: not rn
- Smart?: probably not.
- Moody?: i think not :3
- Organized?: ORGANIZED MESS MORE LIKE IT
- Shy?: yes. socially awkward. shy. everything
- Difficult?: probably xD
- Bored easily?: not really
- Entertained easily?: yes. sometimes
- Obsessed?: hmmm... yeah ?
- Lazy?: Totally
- Angry?: Not rn xD
- Happy?: Yeah ^-^
- Hyper?: Sometimes
- Trusting?: Yeah ;3;
___________________________________________________________________________
R A N D O M
___________________________________________________________________________

- In the morning: I lay in my bed for an hour after i wake up. just watching youtube
- Love is: when someone smiles at you in the morning despite you looking like a raccoon on drugs.
- I dream about: scary things mostly. like school.
- What do you notice first in the sex you're into: voice. behaviour. idk xD

___________________________________________________________________________
W H O
___________________________________________________________________________

- Makes you laugh the most: Nebby xDD
- Makes you smile: my bf ♥
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: my bf xD

_____________________________
D O | Y O U | E V E R
___________________________________________________________________________

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: sometimes. not rlly.
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: NOPE
- Wish you were younger?: I'm 16 >_> I DON'T WANT TO BE A CHILD AGAIN
- Cry because someone said something to you?: YES

___________________________________________________________________________
N U M B E R
___________________________________________________________________________

- Of times I have had my heart broken?: too many :c
- Of CD's: i had a lot as a child. but now i'm not sure how many i still have
- Of scars on my body: too many to count since stretchmarks are technically scars :3
- Of bones I've broken: one. my left arm. while playing wii.

FurryNetwork: https://beta.furrynetwork.com/keylawolf/
DeviantArt: http://zomvivi.deviantart.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fluffbuttkeyla
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/keylathewolf/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR.....2mo7jLAsZmcFUg
Picarto: https://picarto.tv/Zomvivi
wheeee !!!

OMG
SENPAIS NOTICED ME
HE SUNG PISSING IN THE RHINE FOR ME BECAUSE THEY DIDNT PLAY IT ON THE CONCERT
AND THE OTHER ONE SAID THINGS ABOUT MY HAIR
AAAAAHHH