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Lost glasses. Need help.
General | Posted a month agoI swear October is always a cursed month for me, no matter what
Hey everyone, I’m in a pickle. A few days ago, I lost my glasses behind a Winn-Dixie alley, and I don’t have a backup pair. I’m moderately nearsighted, so it’s been tough just getting through normal daily stuff without them, squinting at everything like a hawk, especially at work.
I already have my Oakley frames — I just need about $70 to cover the new lenses. If anyone’s able to chip in a little through PayPal, it would mean the world right now. Even a few dollars helps more than you know. Thanks so much for reading and for any kindness you can spare.
Im still open to taking the cheap 5$ 15$ headshots and small commissions. Please contact me on telegram. Every dollar helps and is cherished.
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
And here's my PayPal donation link, but please let me know who you are.
Hey everyone, I’m in a pickle. A few days ago, I lost my glasses behind a Winn-Dixie alley, and I don’t have a backup pair. I’m moderately nearsighted, so it’s been tough just getting through normal daily stuff without them, squinting at everything like a hawk, especially at work.
I already have my Oakley frames — I just need about $70 to cover the new lenses. If anyone’s able to chip in a little through PayPal, it would mean the world right now. Even a few dollars helps more than you know. Thanks so much for reading and for any kindness you can spare.
Im still open to taking the cheap 5$ 15$ headshots and small commissions. Please contact me on telegram. Every dollar helps and is cherished.
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
And here's my PayPal donation link, but please let me know who you are.
Quick Update + Small Commissions Open
General | Posted 2 months agoHey everyone — it’s been a while since my last post!
Life’s been a bit rough lately — between financial strain and trying to balance work and home life, it’s been hard to stay consistent here. It's been quite an eventful here, spiritual growth. Introspection.
That said, I’m opening up small, easy commissions to help make ends meet:
💫 $5 headshots (quick sketches pencil or ink.)
💫 $15 character busts (cleaner, more detailed)
These really do help us out right now, and I deeply appreciate anyone who’s able to support — whether through a commission, a kind word, or even just sticking around all this time.
As usual, here's my PayPal tip jar for quick payment.
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
Special thanks to the friends and watchers who’ve been here since the early days — you’ve meant more than I can say. You've helped sustain me and keep me going.
Life’s been a bit rough lately — between financial strain and trying to balance work and home life, it’s been hard to stay consistent here. It's been quite an eventful here, spiritual growth. Introspection.
That said, I’m opening up small, easy commissions to help make ends meet:
💫 $5 headshots (quick sketches pencil or ink.)
💫 $15 character busts (cleaner, more detailed)
These really do help us out right now, and I deeply appreciate anyone who’s able to support — whether through a commission, a kind word, or even just sticking around all this time.
As usual, here's my PayPal tip jar for quick payment.
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
Special thanks to the friends and watchers who’ve been here since the early days — you’ve meant more than I can say. You've helped sustain me and keep me going.
Quick Update + Small Commissions Open
General | Posted 2 months agoHey everyone — it’s been a while since my last post!
Life’s been a bit rough lately — between financial strain and trying to balance work and home life, it’s been hard to stay consistent here. It's been quite an eventful here, spiritual growth. Introspection.
That said, I’m opening up small, easy commissions to help make ends meet:
💫 $5 headshots (quick sketches pencil or ink.)
💫 $15 character busts (cleaner, more detailed)
These really do help us out right now, and I deeply appreciate anyone who’s able to support — whether through a commission, a kind word, or even just sticking around all this time.
As usual, here's my PayPal tip jar for quick payment.
Special thanks to the friends and watchers who’ve been here since the early days — you’ve meant more than I can say. You've helped sustain me and keep me going.
Life’s been a bit rough lately — between financial strain and trying to balance work and home life, it’s been hard to stay consistent here. It's been quite an eventful here, spiritual growth. Introspection.
That said, I’m opening up small, easy commissions to help make ends meet:
💫 $5 headshots (quick sketches pencil or ink.)
💫 $15 character busts (cleaner, more detailed)
These really do help us out right now, and I deeply appreciate anyone who’s able to support — whether through a commission, a kind word, or even just sticking around all this time.
As usual, here's my PayPal tip jar for quick payment.
Special thanks to the friends and watchers who’ve been here since the early days — you’ve meant more than I can say. You've helped sustain me and keep me going.
2025 update. Crossroads.
General | Posted 7 months agoIt's been a while.
We've decided, selling Mom's house, our old place is the only sustainable solution.
Lots of things have been purged. Things from the past.
My new apartment is also gradually getting more organized and tidy.
Work hours have been skimpy since it's not Christmas...
So I'm holding out my tip jar again
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
I'm optimistic at the and of all this. Despite some ridiculous setbacks.
AC breaking down completely, 6 month lien on selling the house.
Cat attacking mom. Car has it's catalytic converter stolen...
All of us catching some weird respiratory virus that's been going around.
Despite all that, we're still holding on track.
My old desktop is fine I've been set up at my new apartment. I imagine myself getting back into the art game again. I still haven't lost my edge, or imagination
We've decided, selling Mom's house, our old place is the only sustainable solution.
Lots of things have been purged. Things from the past.
My new apartment is also gradually getting more organized and tidy.
Work hours have been skimpy since it's not Christmas...
So I'm holding out my tip jar again
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
I'm optimistic at the and of all this. Despite some ridiculous setbacks.
AC breaking down completely, 6 month lien on selling the house.
Cat attacking mom. Car has it's catalytic converter stolen...
All of us catching some weird respiratory virus that's been going around.
Despite all that, we're still holding on track.
My old desktop is fine I've been set up at my new apartment. I imagine myself getting back into the art game again. I still haven't lost my edge, or imagination
Cursed October
General | Posted a year agofor some reason Octobers have always been difficult... whether it's a vehicle accident... or something needing a lawyer...
Humbly holding out my donation tipjar again...
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
we are short 1 cat, as of 9/15. was sad, and Mr.Spock passed peacefully.. I buried him beside our building outside my window. Mom and i did our best, and still have 2 new healthy cats.
Meanwhile.... mom finally gets retirement income, but we're deeply up to our necks trying to catch up with condo fees, and 3 months behind waiting for our Mortgage deferment. it's going to be slow in regaining some stability... just hope i can keep working all holiday. Maybe if i had a 4$/hr raise, that would certainly get a leg up.
Anyway... drop me a line, anyone. Let me know you came around. i appreciate anything and everything, with many fond memories of the days past. I'm still here, i'll still keep going. it's what we do.
Humbly holding out my donation tipjar again...
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
we are short 1 cat, as of 9/15. was sad, and Mr.Spock passed peacefully.. I buried him beside our building outside my window. Mom and i did our best, and still have 2 new healthy cats.
Meanwhile.... mom finally gets retirement income, but we're deeply up to our necks trying to catch up with condo fees, and 3 months behind waiting for our Mortgage deferment. it's going to be slow in regaining some stability... just hope i can keep working all holiday. Maybe if i had a 4$/hr raise, that would certainly get a leg up.
Anyway... drop me a line, anyone. Let me know you came around. i appreciate anything and everything, with many fond memories of the days past. I'm still here, i'll still keep going. it's what we do.
New month, struggle continues.
General | Posted a year agoHolding out my Tip jar...
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
Been working. Paid weekly. Still carrying portable IV pump until September 16th. Infection seems to be controlled.
My pay is barely enough to cover mine and Mom's basic Bills. She has Medicaid and EBT. And I've been approved for EBT as well. Now..... Securing a home... I'm up to my neck keeping up.
Umm.. we got 3 adorable rescued cats.
Damn man.... I know my situation is so common today... People struggling.
Trying to sell stuff on OfferUp. I can only hold out for so long.
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1725201066885
Been working. Paid weekly. Still carrying portable IV pump until September 16th. Infection seems to be controlled.
My pay is barely enough to cover mine and Mom's basic Bills. She has Medicaid and EBT. And I've been approved for EBT as well. Now..... Securing a home... I'm up to my neck keeping up.
Umm.. we got 3 adorable rescued cats.
Damn man.... I know my situation is so common today... People struggling.
Trying to sell stuff on OfferUp. I can only hold out for so long.
Hitting a wall now...
General | Posted a year agoThis is the week....
That the bills will begin to go underwater.... Where things will be unpaid... My weekly pay is not enough to support two households...
I still got my 24hr IV portable on me. Feeling lots better. It's a pretty serious Prevotella strain....But the budget? No. I'm hitting a hard wall this week.
I'll focus on electricity and some cheap Internet. And condo fees...
Mom can't work, and her disability case is going slow...
As for our phone? So many passwords are linked to this number...
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
Tip jar link is here as emergency right now.
I don't know what to say or do. It's really hard to sell off things. I need like 2 or 3 more incomes here!
Just keeping friends informed...
I'm not going to do anything harmful or self destructive. But I don't see any way up from this one, this time. I'm always the optimistic strong one... but I find it hard to hope for any more luck.
--
Update: I need to get to the Verizon store and settle this.... We got a damn business account and our bills BLEW up.... I can't even get SMS texts.
That the bills will begin to go underwater.... Where things will be unpaid... My weekly pay is not enough to support two households...
I still got my 24hr IV portable on me. Feeling lots better. It's a pretty serious Prevotella strain....But the budget? No. I'm hitting a hard wall this week.
I'll focus on electricity and some cheap Internet. And condo fees...
Mom can't work, and her disability case is going slow...
As for our phone? So many passwords are linked to this number...
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
Tip jar link is here as emergency right now.
I don't know what to say or do. It's really hard to sell off things. I need like 2 or 3 more incomes here!
Just keeping friends informed...
I'm not going to do anything harmful or self destructive. But I don't see any way up from this one, this time. I'm always the optimistic strong one... but I find it hard to hope for any more luck.
--
Update: I need to get to the Verizon store and settle this.... We got a damn business account and our bills BLEW up.... I can't even get SMS texts.
Hospital again.. bad timing
General | Posted a year agoBeen in the hospital for a week now.... It's been so monotonous. Wearing the same hospital gown with an IV, stuck in a room and bed.
Back in May, turns out it was some opportunistic infection. Prevotella strain of some kind... Right now I have an external IV in my arm. I'll need antibiotics for about a month.... Penicillin and a course of Flagyl.
While trying to keep my job.
I'm trying to work that out with my job... another FMLA filing...
As for the budget, this will probably be my hardest month to date. BF arrives home today, and we'll have to work on selling off as much as we can.
I may consider doing a GoFundMe as well...
This month, a lot of our bills will start falling behind.
I'm usually the optimistic one, but this is a lot of things happening at once. Not calling this a crisis yet... But I think this is a beginning.
I had a fantastic couple of years though.... Up until spring.
Drop me a chirp on Telegram.
Update:
Okay, I've been home a few days. I just need to wear a portable 24-hour IV pump of Penicillin antibiotic..... Until September 16th.
I've been able to go to work just fine with this. It's not very invasive.
But of course, I'm getting through the weekend, still worrying about the budget. A lot of bills are going to go underwater this month
Back in May, turns out it was some opportunistic infection. Prevotella strain of some kind... Right now I have an external IV in my arm. I'll need antibiotics for about a month.... Penicillin and a course of Flagyl.
While trying to keep my job.
I'm trying to work that out with my job... another FMLA filing...
As for the budget, this will probably be my hardest month to date. BF arrives home today, and we'll have to work on selling off as much as we can.
I may consider doing a GoFundMe as well...
This month, a lot of our bills will start falling behind.
I'm usually the optimistic one, but this is a lot of things happening at once. Not calling this a crisis yet... But I think this is a beginning.
I had a fantastic couple of years though.... Up until spring.
Drop me a chirp on Telegram.
Update:
Okay, I've been home a few days. I just need to wear a portable 24-hour IV pump of Penicillin antibiotic..... Until September 16th.
I've been able to go to work just fine with this. It's not very invasive.
But of course, I'm getting through the weekend, still worrying about the budget. A lot of bills are going to go underwater this month
Updates here.
General | Posted a year agoSo, the CT scan shows I actually have some kind of fluid buildup in the mesenteric. A cecal mass.
They are going to do an MRI now to see exactly what it is, and if it can get a biopsy.
After 2 days... Doesn't respond to anything that would resolve ordinary constipation....
I downed a bottle of Miralax PEG and Mag citrate.... Nothing... All night. Just insubstantial liquid. Bloating got so bad I can hardly walk or stand. Morphine helped me sleep finally.
So, I don't know the resolution. But I'm in a good place to get it taken care of. I'd love to get back on track....
We shouldn't take for granted our good health when we have it.
The night before, I hooked up my switch to the big screen and finally beat Zelda: BOTW. Fully completionist ending.... I'm glad.
Seriously looking forward to the TOTK sequel.
Update: 8:00pm 5/18 still waiting in line for an MRI slot. It was a busy day they say.
Update 10:00am 5/19. Getting another round of miralax PEG and mag. Citrate. I'm slated for the MRI today. They say for sure. I'm still pretty sure this will require some kind of surgical intervention to either remove, drain,..... Or resection something.
Update 5/20. 9:00pm. This is getting a bit weird now, because I've been bumped down the queue this many times. Manager and everyone is expecting some kind of a timeline. I had turkey for lunch, and salmon for dinner, solid foods, and my third bottle of magnesium citrate. I may actually be passing these..... And the pain has subsided a little bit... But WTH is going on?
This waiting is a bit tedious.
Update 5/21 5:00am. Just waking up after having some blood work pulled. I think the most responsible thing is for me to just have the biopsy done. And then somehow get discharged as soon as possible. I hope this condition never comes back. I'm just concerned about my bronze plan insurance not covering much of this stay.... It's going to Nuke a sizable portion of my savings...
8:00am. MRI time finally.... I guess it's going to plan... Here's finding out.
10:00am MRI done. Now to wait for analysis.
Update 5/22 6:00am. Biopsy is set for today.
10:30am Being taken for biopsy now.
Manager said I may be let out shortly after, since biopsy may take days to analyze.
7:00pm. .... Doctor wants to keep me one more night for observation. Then tomorrow I believe they'll let me out... Maybe by then they'll give me an exact explanation of WTF happened.
Update 5/23 7:00 am. Still a bit painful.
Still no word about any results from the pathology lab.
I'm told that by this afternoon will have a decision of whether I can go home... To find out what kind of intervention is needed.
12:00 noon. Getting discharge papers...
... Uhh. The doctor I follow up with happens to be a "surgical oncologist"....
They are going to do an MRI now to see exactly what it is, and if it can get a biopsy.
After 2 days... Doesn't respond to anything that would resolve ordinary constipation....
I downed a bottle of Miralax PEG and Mag citrate.... Nothing... All night. Just insubstantial liquid. Bloating got so bad I can hardly walk or stand. Morphine helped me sleep finally.
So, I don't know the resolution. But I'm in a good place to get it taken care of. I'd love to get back on track....
We shouldn't take for granted our good health when we have it.
The night before, I hooked up my switch to the big screen and finally beat Zelda: BOTW. Fully completionist ending.... I'm glad.
Seriously looking forward to the TOTK sequel.
Update: 8:00pm 5/18 still waiting in line for an MRI slot. It was a busy day they say.
Update 10:00am 5/19. Getting another round of miralax PEG and mag. Citrate. I'm slated for the MRI today. They say for sure. I'm still pretty sure this will require some kind of surgical intervention to either remove, drain,..... Or resection something.
Update 5/20. 9:00pm. This is getting a bit weird now, because I've been bumped down the queue this many times. Manager and everyone is expecting some kind of a timeline. I had turkey for lunch, and salmon for dinner, solid foods, and my third bottle of magnesium citrate. I may actually be passing these..... And the pain has subsided a little bit... But WTH is going on?
This waiting is a bit tedious.
Update 5/21 5:00am. Just waking up after having some blood work pulled. I think the most responsible thing is for me to just have the biopsy done. And then somehow get discharged as soon as possible. I hope this condition never comes back. I'm just concerned about my bronze plan insurance not covering much of this stay.... It's going to Nuke a sizable portion of my savings...
8:00am. MRI time finally.... I guess it's going to plan... Here's finding out.
10:00am MRI done. Now to wait for analysis.
Update 5/22 6:00am. Biopsy is set for today.
10:30am Being taken for biopsy now.
Manager said I may be let out shortly after, since biopsy may take days to analyze.
7:00pm. .... Doctor wants to keep me one more night for observation. Then tomorrow I believe they'll let me out... Maybe by then they'll give me an exact explanation of WTF happened.
Update 5/23 7:00 am. Still a bit painful.
Still no word about any results from the pathology lab.
I'm told that by this afternoon will have a decision of whether I can go home... To find out what kind of intervention is needed.
12:00 noon. Getting discharge papers...
... Uhh. The doctor I follow up with happens to be a "surgical oncologist"....
Medical Update, on my birthday
General | Posted a year agoWas able to see urgent care center... Doctor gave me a script for a CT scan.
But none of the places had a slot available for me there.. (except the full ER)
I spoke to the radiology department, they said there was a slot available, to come as a walk-in... But no, the registration lady gate kept me over insurance approval.
I was in tears while walking around the office park... So ironic. The place that saved my life a year and a half ago... Is now gatekeeping me from getting seen.
This morning I need to check this nearby place to get a CT scan slot...
I don't know WTF is going on with my gut... I haven't passed anything in 4 days.. just stiff & tender inside. I don't know if it's related to my accident surgery.. or an infection? or obstruction?
I miss chatting with some old friends. I'm glad you're all around still. I'm glad to make it to 41.
But none of the places had a slot available for me there.. (except the full ER)
I spoke to the radiology department, they said there was a slot available, to come as a walk-in... But no, the registration lady gate kept me over insurance approval.
I was in tears while walking around the office park... So ironic. The place that saved my life a year and a half ago... Is now gatekeeping me from getting seen.
This morning I need to check this nearby place to get a CT scan slot...
I don't know WTF is going on with my gut... I haven't passed anything in 4 days.. just stiff & tender inside. I don't know if it's related to my accident surgery.. or an infection? or obstruction?
I miss chatting with some old friends. I'm glad you're all around still. I'm glad to make it to 41.
2024 update
General | Posted a year agoSorry for no updates in so long. I haven't been doing much artwork lately. But I am still active creating much of my own head Canon personal lore for my own characters. Gaming, working, trying to stay fit.
Since September of last year, bf and I have our own apartment. All paid off. It's been a lot of work settling in.
1 Day Before my 41st birthday....
Going to an urgent Care center this morning... Having some gut problem all week... Feels like some blockage or knot.... I don't know. I'm hoping to get an ultrasound, or something.... It's getting painful to walk.
Please reach out on Telegram if you want, I miss chatting with a lot of you, and old friends.
Since September of last year, bf and I have our own apartment. All paid off. It's been a lot of work settling in.
1 Day Before my 41st birthday....
Going to an urgent Care center this morning... Having some gut problem all week... Feels like some blockage or knot.... I don't know. I'm hoping to get an ultrasound, or something.... It's getting painful to walk.
Please reach out on Telegram if you want, I miss chatting with a lot of you, and old friends.
May Birthday & Recovery update, Asking Help
General | Posted 2 years agoContinued from previous journal.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal...../#jid:10406313
Made it to my 40th Birthday!!! That's an Achievement for me! the big 40. I almost didn't make it......
An Update. BF and I are recovering physically well... i'm recovering my stamina.. and i've been able to function at work. Fortunately, as my job is mostly walking, and organizing shipments and merchandise shipping. I can walk like normal now, my abdominal incision scar is healed, and keloiding a little bit... Nothing bad. It's amazing really.... we survived a head-on collision, and here we are...
EVERY day is a bonus... Each day is an opportunity to make it great. PLEASE don't forget that, no matter what is troubling you!!
This car wreck back in November 19th, was a big calamity.... it took a HUGE toll on all of us, mentally, physically and financially...
i really really hate doing a journal like this yet again...
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1685033445964
tips
But, i have a paypal tipjar, and... i'm holding my hat out again.
Anything.... 5, 10, 15, whatever.
Since my mom's been out of work since the pandemic... I have actually been the sole provider -_o. Yes.
We... got a bunch of small bills piling up, Radiology... Water bill.. FPL power bill.. uhh... regular Mortgage is the one that takes a HUGE chunk each month.
When resources are tight like this... Domestic strife and squabbling happens... I'm trying to keep it together, and keep composure.
I don't like drawing attention to my own struggles...
Please feel free to reach out to me on Telegram.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal...../#jid:10406313
Made it to my 40th Birthday!!! That's an Achievement for me! the big 40. I almost didn't make it......
An Update. BF and I are recovering physically well... i'm recovering my stamina.. and i've been able to function at work. Fortunately, as my job is mostly walking, and organizing shipments and merchandise shipping. I can walk like normal now, my abdominal incision scar is healed, and keloiding a little bit... Nothing bad. It's amazing really.... we survived a head-on collision, and here we are...
EVERY day is a bonus... Each day is an opportunity to make it great. PLEASE don't forget that, no matter what is troubling you!!
This car wreck back in November 19th, was a big calamity.... it took a HUGE toll on all of us, mentally, physically and financially...
i really really hate doing a journal like this yet again...
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=.....=1685033445964
tipsBut, i have a paypal tipjar, and... i'm holding my hat out again.
Anything.... 5, 10, 15, whatever.
Since my mom's been out of work since the pandemic... I have actually been the sole provider -_o. Yes.
We... got a bunch of small bills piling up, Radiology... Water bill.. FPL power bill.. uhh... regular Mortgage is the one that takes a HUGE chunk each month.
When resources are tight like this... Domestic strife and squabbling happens... I'm trying to keep it together, and keep composure.
I don't like drawing attention to my own struggles...
Please feel free to reach out to me on Telegram.
November update. Recovery.
General | Posted 3 years agoNovember 19th 8:30pm
I was in the ICU for 5 days.
Bf and I were in a Ride Share home. Driver went on the left, oncoming lane...
We hit another car head on.
Collapsed lung. Pneumothorax. Broken clavicle. internal bleeding in my gut. It was surgically fixed that night.
BF broke his arm and had contusions on his face and we both had cracked ribs.
I'm stable now. On solid food again. I have an 8" incision on my belly that had staples. Seems to be mending well.
I remember ALL of this exquisitely well.
In those immediate moments...... Bf and I really thought this was the end. We held hands, and felt we weren't going to make it out. But we did.
Fortunate, this occurred just down the street from a Level 2 Trauma center Hospital.
More to be grateful for.
I've seen much of the goodness of humanity at work here. Grateful to Hospital staff.. I'm grateful to the friends i've reached out to. Just for the ability to be here, and still have the privilege to experience life. I'm happy to be able to see daylight again. It's been harrowing, and introspective for all of us here.
I still have the function of my hands and my wits.
I'll keep fighting and doing the necessary steps.
I was in the ICU for 5 days.
Bf and I were in a Ride Share home. Driver went on the left, oncoming lane...
We hit another car head on.
Collapsed lung. Pneumothorax. Broken clavicle. internal bleeding in my gut. It was surgically fixed that night.
BF broke his arm and had contusions on his face and we both had cracked ribs.
I'm stable now. On solid food again. I have an 8" incision on my belly that had staples. Seems to be mending well.
I remember ALL of this exquisitely well.
In those immediate moments...... Bf and I really thought this was the end. We held hands, and felt we weren't going to make it out. But we did.
Fortunate, this occurred just down the street from a Level 2 Trauma center Hospital.
More to be grateful for.
I've seen much of the goodness of humanity at work here. Grateful to Hospital staff.. I'm grateful to the friends i've reached out to. Just for the ability to be here, and still have the privilege to experience life. I'm happy to be able to see daylight again. It's been harrowing, and introspective for all of us here.
I still have the function of my hands and my wits.
I'll keep fighting and doing the necessary steps.
RIP Habibi... and.. In a pinch again..
General | Posted 4 years agohttps://twitter.com/Kharnak1/status.....51192670916614
the 25th...
Our cat was put down just before noon. While i was at work. He's at rest now. I've never seen my bf cry as hard as he did the night before. Was very humanizing.
The night before.... when i was going to bed with my bf.... the cat was sitting by the side of the bed trying to get up.... ;_;
I got him onto the bed. Bf and I sat facing each other, and the cat curled up between our legs to sleep...
He got the strength to do that. Like he wanted to say goodbye.
I'll get past this.
I got a lot of things to juggle.
I'm seriously uneasy about considering a Payday loan or some racket like that...
EDIT: Yes... i still need to do a Payday loan to cut our Water back on.
Down to the wire... this is a pinch..
Mom's gonna need medicine Next week...
Water Bill needs to get paid..
I got Jury Duty in mid March! like the worst timing.
I do NOT factor in FOOD or gasoline in my budget... whatever's left, is whatever i get to work with.
Same as previous journal......
paypal tipjar
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
i can't promise anything.. but maybe i can doodle some things for you. I really can not commit to any commissions right now, until things start stabilizing IRL. i'm walking the walk. We have to. I'll hang in there and do my best, like always.
Sorry everyone. I miss the times when i could think about fandom related things.... please reach out to me if you feel like. I miss you.
the 25th...
Our cat was put down just before noon. While i was at work. He's at rest now. I've never seen my bf cry as hard as he did the night before. Was very humanizing.
The night before.... when i was going to bed with my bf.... the cat was sitting by the side of the bed trying to get up.... ;_;
I got him onto the bed. Bf and I sat facing each other, and the cat curled up between our legs to sleep...
He got the strength to do that. Like he wanted to say goodbye.
I'll get past this.
I got a lot of things to juggle.
I'm seriously uneasy about considering a Payday loan or some racket like that...
EDIT: Yes... i still need to do a Payday loan to cut our Water back on.
Down to the wire... this is a pinch..
Mom's gonna need medicine Next week...
Water Bill needs to get paid..
I got Jury Duty in mid March! like the worst timing.
I do NOT factor in FOOD or gasoline in my budget... whatever's left, is whatever i get to work with.
Same as previous journal......
paypal tipjar
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
i can't promise anything.. but maybe i can doodle some things for you. I really can not commit to any commissions right now, until things start stabilizing IRL. i'm walking the walk. We have to. I'll hang in there and do my best, like always.
Sorry everyone. I miss the times when i could think about fandom related things.... please reach out to me if you feel like. I miss you.
Down to the wire. running out
General | Posted 4 years agoi only got a few minutes before work..
More details later..
i can list things we're running out of. (cat food, toilet paper, sugar, bread) i don't make enough for all the bills.
Our cat, i know he's gonna die soon anyway, but.... we're still doing our best. if he were to die this week, we wouldn't even be able to dispose of him properly. Since December, he's lost all appetite.. lethargic.. and lost 40% of his body weight, he's now 10 pounds. His ribs and spine are protruding. He no longer grooms himself. With cats... there's like several things that look exactly the same. (cancer, parasite, liver failure, swallowed harmful object...) we'll never know.
https://twitter.com/Kharnak1/status.....41001511448589
we'll do our best, and there's no regrets with that. We love him very much and every day we get to spend with him, is a good thing.
I dont want to make this yet another "sick cat" post.....
Because, there's lots of other bills each week that wipe us out.
- Good news... we obtained a used car.... payments are slightly less.
- Bad news, mom lost her job back in November, Thanksgiving day.
- Good news, my mom's disability case was accepted by a notable large firm. But these things take many months to complete.
- Bad news, water bill & HOA maintenance are over 4 months behind
Same as previous journal......
paypal tipjar
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
i can't promise anything.. but maybe i can doodle some things for you. I really can not commit to any commissions right now, until things start stabilizing IRL. i'm walking the walk. We have to. I'll hang in there and do my best, like always.
Sorry everyone. I miss the times when i could think about fandom related things.... please reach out to me if you feel like. I miss you.
More details later..
i can list things we're running out of. (cat food, toilet paper, sugar, bread) i don't make enough for all the bills.
Our cat, i know he's gonna die soon anyway, but.... we're still doing our best. if he were to die this week, we wouldn't even be able to dispose of him properly. Since December, he's lost all appetite.. lethargic.. and lost 40% of his body weight, he's now 10 pounds. His ribs and spine are protruding. He no longer grooms himself. With cats... there's like several things that look exactly the same. (cancer, parasite, liver failure, swallowed harmful object...) we'll never know.
https://twitter.com/Kharnak1/status.....41001511448589
we'll do our best, and there's no regrets with that. We love him very much and every day we get to spend with him, is a good thing.
I dont want to make this yet another "sick cat" post.....
Because, there's lots of other bills each week that wipe us out.
- Good news... we obtained a used car.... payments are slightly less.
- Bad news, mom lost her job back in November, Thanksgiving day.
- Good news, my mom's disability case was accepted by a notable large firm. But these things take many months to complete.
- Bad news, water bill & HOA maintenance are over 4 months behind
Same as previous journal......
paypal tipjar
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
i can't promise anything.. but maybe i can doodle some things for you. I really can not commit to any commissions right now, until things start stabilizing IRL. i'm walking the walk. We have to. I'll hang in there and do my best, like always.
Sorry everyone. I miss the times when i could think about fandom related things.... please reach out to me if you feel like. I miss you.
Life update. October car loss.
General | Posted 4 years agoFriends, Fans.
Sorry for the long silence... Mostly dealing/coping/managing real life affairs.
Mom found work again recently, but it's still physically taxing.
Things have been rough all year, so online/fandom stuff has a very low priority.
Biggest event recently....
October 24th Mom and I, got rear-ended and sandwiched between a Prius and Jeep, totaling our car.... (i really miss that Mitsubishi... it had a soul)
Details i'm instructed not to get into, but with help of an Attorney, we're getting a bit of physical therapy.
The 30 day rental runs out... Tuesday, 1 day from now. I don't know how the HELL we're going to manage financing a replacement vehicle in ..... 1 DAY....
during the busiest Holiday/retail/work time of the year.
We're behind on about 4 different bills, water, electric, etc.
uhh.....
I have a Kofi Account
https://ko-fi.com/kharnak
And paypal tipjar
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
i can't promise anything.. but maybe i can doodle some things for you. I really can not commit to any commissions right now, until things start stabilizing IRL. i'm walking the walk. We have to. I'll hang in there and do my best, like always.
Sorry everyone. I miss the times when i could think about fandom related things.... please reach out to me if you feel like. I miss you.
Sorry for the long silence... Mostly dealing/coping/managing real life affairs.
Mom found work again recently, but it's still physically taxing.
Things have been rough all year, so online/fandom stuff has a very low priority.
Biggest event recently....
October 24th Mom and I, got rear-ended and sandwiched between a Prius and Jeep, totaling our car.... (i really miss that Mitsubishi... it had a soul)
Details i'm instructed not to get into, but with help of an Attorney, we're getting a bit of physical therapy.
The 30 day rental runs out... Tuesday, 1 day from now. I don't know how the HELL we're going to manage financing a replacement vehicle in ..... 1 DAY....
during the busiest Holiday/retail/work time of the year.
We're behind on about 4 different bills, water, electric, etc.
uhh.....
I have a Kofi Account
https://ko-fi.com/kharnak
And paypal tipjar
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
i can't promise anything.. but maybe i can doodle some things for you. I really can not commit to any commissions right now, until things start stabilizing IRL. i'm walking the walk. We have to. I'll hang in there and do my best, like always.
Sorry everyone. I miss the times when i could think about fandom related things.... please reach out to me if you feel like. I miss you.
Life Event. job loss
General | Posted 5 years agoNot mine though. But yesterday i get a call from my mom while at work, "hey... they fired me" she said.
She's had her guard job for 20 years and she's in her 60s, but still not enough to retire. No savings at all.
Immediately, the flood of anxious thoughts, catastrophic thoughts..
I got a lot to help arrange and file with government assistance... Planning out
But on the outside i still appear calm and collected. That's me.
Recently finding out that this is called "High functioning Anxiety".
stuff to sell.
umm.. budgeting. where to make cuts.
Artwork... just as i was starting to feel a bit better about myself... this comes out of nowhere.
For the first time in a long time, i woke up with a cold panic rush in my chest.
Just, sorry to everybody. About everything.
She's had her guard job for 20 years and she's in her 60s, but still not enough to retire. No savings at all.
Immediately, the flood of anxious thoughts, catastrophic thoughts..
I got a lot to help arrange and file with government assistance... Planning out
But on the outside i still appear calm and collected. That's me.
Recently finding out that this is called "High functioning Anxiety".
stuff to sell.
umm.. budgeting. where to make cuts.
Artwork... just as i was starting to feel a bit better about myself... this comes out of nowhere.
For the first time in a long time, i woke up with a cold panic rush in my chest.
Just, sorry to everybody. About everything.
My Picarto Stream info
General | Posted 5 years agohttps://picarto.tv/Kharnak
there it is. I try to stream as often as I can. Add me so you can be notified of when i hop on.
I love streaming, I love having feedback and suggestions from viewers.
*** Keep in mind, sometimes my streams may be short.. irregular, and spur of the moment. They may sometimes be as little as 15 minutes, or may occur at odd hours of the night. I may often get pulled away frequently for RL interruptions. But, a little progress is better than nothing.
Suggest music to me. I normally have my own massive playlist of music I like to use that keeps my mind in a contemplative state. Or something fitting for whatever i'm drawing.
The reason for streams being irregular... is that i have a very awful performance anxiety I've been struggling with for years. I freeze up and blank out. I tense up just before I begin to draw. Streaming is a form of "confrontation therapy" where i can practice being in a creative mindset, while under scrutiny, and being able to handle interruptions.
I fear i may be boring people.
I fear I may be drawing something that turns some fans off....
I fear my content just isn't up to par with what most people are used to seeing.. I have many fears and things holding me back in my head... i'm slowly working them out.
So, please be patient with me
お願いします
With that said,
Here's the Tip Jar, before, after, or whenever.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
My thanks to all of my long time fans, your encouragement and support keeps my fires going.
there it is. I try to stream as often as I can. Add me so you can be notified of when i hop on.
I love streaming, I love having feedback and suggestions from viewers.
*** Keep in mind, sometimes my streams may be short.. irregular, and spur of the moment. They may sometimes be as little as 15 minutes, or may occur at odd hours of the night. I may often get pulled away frequently for RL interruptions. But, a little progress is better than nothing.
Suggest music to me. I normally have my own massive playlist of music I like to use that keeps my mind in a contemplative state. Or something fitting for whatever i'm drawing.
The reason for streams being irregular... is that i have a very awful performance anxiety I've been struggling with for years. I freeze up and blank out. I tense up just before I begin to draw. Streaming is a form of "confrontation therapy" where i can practice being in a creative mindset, while under scrutiny, and being able to handle interruptions.
I fear i may be boring people.
I fear I may be drawing something that turns some fans off....
I fear my content just isn't up to par with what most people are used to seeing.. I have many fears and things holding me back in my head... i'm slowly working them out.
So, please be patient with me
お願いします
With that said,
Here's the Tip Jar, before, after, or whenever.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webs.....=NLTTHDTZRTDME
My thanks to all of my long time fans, your encouragement and support keeps my fires going.
response to KiCKS: headset mics
General | Posted 5 years agothought i'd leave this little personal review.
Mostly in response to
kicks journal, maybe y'all got advice as well.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9493959/
RIG 400 has an amazing mic.. i am rather surprised. (otherwise i got a nice lapel mic i got for $1.69 on eBay, they can be hit or miss)
Otherwise, my bf is fond of Monsters.
I do like the Dre Beats for headphones.. comfy.
But my ALL TIME favorite headphones.... the SONY MDR-XD200, i've had these for over 12 years.. and two pad replacements.... They sound amazingly clear, and the bass is impeccable.. they just EAT power, smile and ask for more. It is still the gold standard for every other pair i've had... and they're still around $30
(only drawback, is the cord is rather long, and they are rather bulky.)
Mostly in response to
kicks journal, maybe y'all got advice as well.https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9493959/
RIG 400 has an amazing mic.. i am rather surprised. (otherwise i got a nice lapel mic i got for $1.69 on eBay, they can be hit or miss)
Otherwise, my bf is fond of Monsters.
I do like the Dre Beats for headphones.. comfy.
But my ALL TIME favorite headphones.... the SONY MDR-XD200, i've had these for over 12 years.. and two pad replacements.... They sound amazingly clear, and the bass is impeccable.. they just EAT power, smile and ask for more. It is still the gold standard for every other pair i've had... and they're still around $30
(only drawback, is the cord is rather long, and they are rather bulky.)
signal boost for Artist
General | Posted 5 years agohttps://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9468444/
Please visit her page, Memyou's Twitter, doing emergency commissions.
But more quickly.. drop something into the TipJar
Memyou is a wonderful creative artist with a beautiful mind and imagination. There are so many struggling artists out there.
He's been under very dire straits the last few months, an elderly mother and some pets. In Japan the SARS-CoV-2 response has been lagging behind by weeks under the pretenses of "no problem here." Meanwhile, several other Japanese artists are expressing trepidation and making some very concerning statements. The pressures of dealing with a needy family, weighs heavily on anyone and can be daunting to an artist.
Apparently social services are not quite the same for those without work, and with medical needs. I can't say much from 6000 miles away, but this is one set of world wide battles we're all in together.
I've been under a lot of duress myself... lots of self evaluation and reflection on my life, and my choices, and where i am now. Wrestling with my sense of self, and what i still want from my life.
Honestly.. trying to fight back regrets..
Lots of old feelings creeping in that used to daunt me for decades...
For now, we can be human, with human feelings. Realizing we're all neighbors.
Sometimes helping someone else out, is a great way to help oneself out.
Please visit her page, Memyou's Twitter, doing emergency commissions.
But more quickly.. drop something into the TipJar
Memyou is a wonderful creative artist with a beautiful mind and imagination. There are so many struggling artists out there.
He's been under very dire straits the last few months, an elderly mother and some pets. In Japan the SARS-CoV-2 response has been lagging behind by weeks under the pretenses of "no problem here." Meanwhile, several other Japanese artists are expressing trepidation and making some very concerning statements. The pressures of dealing with a needy family, weighs heavily on anyone and can be daunting to an artist.
Apparently social services are not quite the same for those without work, and with medical needs. I can't say much from 6000 miles away, but this is one set of world wide battles we're all in together.
I've been under a lot of duress myself... lots of self evaluation and reflection on my life, and my choices, and where i am now. Wrestling with my sense of self, and what i still want from my life.
Honestly.. trying to fight back regrets..
Lots of old feelings creeping in that used to daunt me for decades...
For now, we can be human, with human feelings. Realizing we're all neighbors.
Sometimes helping someone else out, is a great way to help oneself out.
Isolation begins today
General | Posted 5 years agook so.. The store i work in, a department store, has shut down until April 1st. This is the intention.
My department was shipping/fulfillment, so we hung on for a while. However, we got word, we're all sent home.
I and other Full-Time employees will be compensated at the 28 hour level at our PTO rate... This was very nice of our CEO to do that... (while places like Amazon dont. Despite Jeff Bezos actually making 3000$/second)
This is... perhaps the ultimate "Black Swan event". Baptism of Fire. whatever you wish to call it.
Am I Existentially afraid? Yes....
the re-evaluation of one's life and actions.. choices.
Worried about my underlying health conditions.. Lupus primarily. I already have minor chest cavity scarring from Pleuritis years ago.... it's a complete gamble whether i'd make it out of this if I get infected....
This damn 2 week period... makes me vigilant about every feeling in my body.. -_- I can only hope i did enough.
Enough cleaning, isolation and distancing.. I've never been a germaphobe in my life until the last couple of weeks... Because of my Lupus and the meds i take for it.....
if i catch this Virus... My immune system is going to get steamrolled.
My store... is in a mall.. in a wealthy city, on the border of Broward county.... and Wealthy people.. LOVE to travel. They love to think about themselves only. They can't keep their asses at home. They can't keep their disgusting "super spreaders" in their strollers at home.
I umm... need to keep it together at home. my mom of 65 has to keep working at her security job... and my bf of 9 years... It's hard for me to stay strong.
I want to focus on things i like...
I want to continue doing my artwork. Reconnecting with old friends... please... reach out to each other...
I don't want regrets. All fans who i've come across, over the years. i don't forget any of you.
Still, I don't give up easily...
My department was shipping/fulfillment, so we hung on for a while. However, we got word, we're all sent home.
I and other Full-Time employees will be compensated at the 28 hour level at our PTO rate... This was very nice of our CEO to do that... (while places like Amazon dont. Despite Jeff Bezos actually making 3000$/second)
This is... perhaps the ultimate "Black Swan event". Baptism of Fire. whatever you wish to call it.
Am I Existentially afraid? Yes....
the re-evaluation of one's life and actions.. choices.
Worried about my underlying health conditions.. Lupus primarily. I already have minor chest cavity scarring from Pleuritis years ago.... it's a complete gamble whether i'd make it out of this if I get infected....
This damn 2 week period... makes me vigilant about every feeling in my body.. -_- I can only hope i did enough.
Enough cleaning, isolation and distancing.. I've never been a germaphobe in my life until the last couple of weeks... Because of my Lupus and the meds i take for it.....
if i catch this Virus... My immune system is going to get steamrolled.
My store... is in a mall.. in a wealthy city, on the border of Broward county.... and Wealthy people.. LOVE to travel. They love to think about themselves only. They can't keep their asses at home. They can't keep their disgusting "super spreaders" in their strollers at home.
I umm... need to keep it together at home. my mom of 65 has to keep working at her security job... and my bf of 9 years... It's hard for me to stay strong.
I want to focus on things i like...
I want to continue doing my artwork. Reconnecting with old friends... please... reach out to each other...
I don't want regrets. All fans who i've come across, over the years. i don't forget any of you.
Still, I don't give up easily...
Messed up year so far
General | Posted 5 years agoMany things weighing on my mind lately..
- Grandmother in Hungary 86, living by herself, having seizures weekly, using a wood burning boiler for heating. Every year i think it could be her last, and there's nothing we can do.
-Been having a wicked bad tooth infection the past couple of weeks.. with a low grade sniffle the whole time from it.
I still have to work. Full time.
I know that COVID-19 is out there... i've never been a germaphobe until this week.. Parent taking these coughing little children who won't stay home... sheeez Every time i hear a sneeze, i go SR71BlackBird and zip out of there.
- 26K$ in student debt, from my time at UM. couldn't finish due to not having co-signers. (i dont come from a wealthy family of credit worthy co-borrowers) Wasn't able to finish my 4th year. I got that 26k$ chain on my neck weighing pretty heavily.
I've had many downs... life slowly ratcheting up.
This is what the elites in this country call "perseverance porn"
so enjoy the headline "36 year old man, former UM student, works full time, but struggles with Lupus for 15 years, without health insurance."
I've thought... my teeth are a mouthful of ticking timebombs. and will likely be the end of me.
Anyway... despite all that, i have a MIGHTY high pain tolerance. I got work early this Sunday morning.
Still, thinking of doing streaming each night, IF i have the time, and don't feel like sacrificing sleep time.
- Grandmother in Hungary 86, living by herself, having seizures weekly, using a wood burning boiler for heating. Every year i think it could be her last, and there's nothing we can do.
-Been having a wicked bad tooth infection the past couple of weeks.. with a low grade sniffle the whole time from it.
I still have to work. Full time.
I know that COVID-19 is out there... i've never been a germaphobe until this week.. Parent taking these coughing little children who won't stay home... sheeez Every time i hear a sneeze, i go SR71BlackBird and zip out of there.
- 26K$ in student debt, from my time at UM. couldn't finish due to not having co-signers. (i dont come from a wealthy family of credit worthy co-borrowers) Wasn't able to finish my 4th year. I got that 26k$ chain on my neck weighing pretty heavily.
I've had many downs... life slowly ratcheting up.
This is what the elites in this country call "perseverance porn"
so enjoy the headline "36 year old man, former UM student, works full time, but struggles with Lupus for 15 years, without health insurance."
I've thought... my teeth are a mouthful of ticking timebombs. and will likely be the end of me.
Anyway... despite all that, i have a MIGHTY high pain tolerance. I got work early this Sunday morning.
Still, thinking of doing streaming each night, IF i have the time, and don't feel like sacrificing sleep time.
Trouble with shinies?
General | Posted 6 years agoSo, FA shinies...
i know people were skeptical and had their doubts.
That something was going to go awry, especially with Paypal, and how they selectively enforce policies.
Now that time has passed, has anyone noticed, or heard of Artists, adult NSFW content creators, having trouble with shinies?
i know people were skeptical and had their doubts.
That something was going to go awry, especially with Paypal, and how they selectively enforce policies.
Now that time has passed, has anyone noticed, or heard of Artists, adult NSFW content creators, having trouble with shinies?
Kharnak is streaming lewds
General | Posted 6 years agoPicarto stream
my very 1st one
Hope to be doing this on a regular basis
Just a quick test
https://picarto.tv/Kharnak
Drawing some lewds of my Nevrean. this message will self destruct.
[Stream is Over]
Thanks, i hope to do this more regularly ;>
my very 1st one
Hope to be doing this on a regular basis
Just a quick test
https://picarto.tv/Kharnak
Drawing some lewds of my Nevrean. this message will self destruct.
[Stream is Over]
Thanks, i hope to do this more regularly ;>
Vilous fanwork update & New character
General | Posted 6 years agoThe debut of Muan, my Nevrean character, one of several that i've been developing.
https://vilous-fandom.fandom.com/wiki/Muan
Featuring a commission from
smallgayghoul Swift turnaround time. I'm still reeling from the expressiveness of his Nevreans. Looking forward to more in the coming weeks.
=================
The NKD Northern Korsuron Discourse Twitter
https://twitter.com/VilousN
We've begun rolling out with the "core project"
Beginning with Dawn of the Silvoran
A fan fiction re-telling of Rain Silves' story, from birth, childhood, and rise to power.
Written from a journalistic perspective of a GoldRing panel around RC200.
This has a rather unique and well-rounded explanation and reconciliation of details and concepts pulled from both Old & New canon.
This is a Fan Fiction re-telling, not officially canonical to the original story lines.
First, Please support the original Creators. They are the heart and mind of Vilous.
kiki-uma https://patreon.com/Tenteraten
mick39 https://www.patreon.com/mick39
Later chapters will be released on a set schedule. Then followed by misc. worldbuilding info and articles that the rest of our fan group has worked on.
Artists! Writers! Gaming modders! Architecture students. Anyone with their heart touched by the world of Vilous, if you'd like to contribute and collaberate, let me know!
This is meant to be the Vilous Fan's collaborative "work bench". NOT in competition with the Vilous Fan Wiki
https://vilous-fandom.fandom.com/wiki/Muan
Featuring a commission from
smallgayghoul Swift turnaround time. I'm still reeling from the expressiveness of his Nevreans. Looking forward to more in the coming weeks.=================
The NKD Northern Korsuron Discourse Twitter
https://twitter.com/VilousN
We've begun rolling out with the "core project"
Beginning with Dawn of the Silvoran
A fan fiction re-telling of Rain Silves' story, from birth, childhood, and rise to power.
Written from a journalistic perspective of a GoldRing panel around RC200.
This has a rather unique and well-rounded explanation and reconciliation of details and concepts pulled from both Old & New canon.
This is a Fan Fiction re-telling, not officially canonical to the original story lines.
First, Please support the original Creators. They are the heart and mind of Vilous.
kiki-uma https://patreon.com/Tenteraten
mick39 https://www.patreon.com/mick39Later chapters will be released on a set schedule. Then followed by misc. worldbuilding info and articles that the rest of our fan group has worked on.
Artists! Writers! Gaming modders! Architecture students. Anyone with their heart touched by the world of Vilous, if you'd like to contribute and collaberate, let me know!
This is meant to be the Vilous Fan's collaborative "work bench". NOT in competition with the Vilous Fan Wiki
