I have not, for almost 6 years, touched a pencil. Or pen. Or digital canvas. Not since i wanted a new life. Not since I swore to put it all away. These people. This life.

I wanted, in a word, to be normal.

But it can never happen. You can't take something that has been such a deep part of you, chain it in a box, and lock it in the deepest recesses of your mind. It will always be there, whispering, whimpering, pleading in the shadows. Such it was for him. I took all those desires, dark thoughts and secret wishes, and I put them into a crimson feline. Then I named him.

And then I shunned him. But I could not kill his spirit.

And so here I am. Every book, every drawing, every bit of the life that he used to live has been destroyed. But yet here he is. 6 years later, he took pen to pad and broke the chains.

He could not, would not, be silenced. And now I get to atone for what I did to him. Prithe he will not be miserly with forgiveness.

Kheetah Ohryon Vubatus
"TSC"

"derogatory, sexual, or outright insulting mohammeda will be removed."

Now, I can't help but wonder if this is because you actually want to respect the religious figure, or if you fear retaliation. Because I'm curious what would happen if I did a search fir "Jesus" on this site.

We have the luxury of freedom of religion guaranteed to us by the founders of our country. Included inthis freedom is the freedom FROM religion. I should be free from one particular religion's maniacal opression. If I can't draw Mohummid, then I demand all insulting pictures of Jesus and the pope and the prophets be taken down.

Have you taken a moment to view some of the
vile, base, crude and unspeakable things that are
actually on this site? All in the name of art. And
here you're worried about one guy? WHY? tell me
why THIS religion gets your special protection.

I will not tolerate art being subject to hypocricy. Lemme post my
pictures, or take them all down.

Too bad you'll never read this...

So, like, I just got a new screen and have been viewing my pictures in "True" resolution. HAHA! It would appear that my previous art screen was the WRONG resolution because, like, every picture looks squished. Son of a bitch. WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME?! Pfffffff

Um... So like if anybody got any strange comments tonight/lastnight, my bad. I forgot to shut off my comp after posting a pic and I'm pretty sure alcohol and my friends were in the same vicinity.

I think I should point out that there are two things I hate doing, artistically, more than anything else.

(1) I hate drawing women. Hate. Like strenuously hate. It's the boobs. I love boobs, but they are honest to god the absolute hardest thing for me to draw. This is why you see, like, 3 pictures of girls in my entire gallery. Three. out of some 110+. I hate them.

(2) I hate... HATE... drawing pics "of" people. Be it them, or their characters. I hate it. Not because i'm an asshole or stuck up or whatever; but because I feel like I am insulting anybody I draw. I've no talent which I can see, so to see somebody done in my art... I feel like i've insulted them. 3 people can claim that I have ever drawn a picture "of" them. For various reasons, each of these people is very dear to me; and I can honestly say, with conviction, that I love each of them.

If you ever make a request and I decline, please don't be insulted. It's not that I don't like you; it's that I respect you; and I don't like that I can't do you justice.

So, like, should probably start tagging my pics, no? Probably get more people to give a sh't. Like people will come if you don't. But you don't get super lots. YOu gotta be a super bad-ass talent for people to just come to you.

Notable examples include, but are not limited to:
 shadowcheetah
 bucktowntiger
 insomniacovrlrd

"Come with us to other side
Follow us through the gates of hell
we will drag you from where you are to where you belong."

How do you define heartache? Is it sadness? is it Pain? No.

Pain is when an unrelenting love for another person begins to tear you up inside. When you begin to lose sleep and slip into depression as you struggle with a conflict that you wish to god you didn't have to have.

sadness is when you tell that person that they're killing you. not figuratively, not emotionally; but literally; and that the best choice is to part for a time.

HEARTACHE is every second after that.

I love you, baby boy. I swear to god I'll make this right.

"Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell"

 pawsforeffect

ADD THEM

To say these guys are amazing would be an understatement the likes of which would probably qualify me for capital punishment.

plus they have a chick drummer... which is just balls-tighteningly awesome.

This is Green Day's new CD.

F'KN GET IT

that is all

https://www.freewebs.com/muroskymetals

This is the website of a friend of mine. She does metal work and jewelry making... and she is absolutely FANTASTIC! If you go yo the "photos" and find the ring she makes... Yeah... I have one... and I love it.

Go there. 100% hand-made... she even makes the rings themselves. Pass this along to your friends, too. I wanna get her name around because it's totally, absolutely, 100% worth it.

Tonight I realized something; but, further, not only did I realize it, i felt that it was so deeply-piercing that It had to be shared with anybody unfortunate enough to wander across my little slice of fantasy.

My ex, and still most amazing person in the world, and I once saw the play Wicked. In this play, there is a song that says "No good deed goes unpunished." I never understood what that line meant. How could a good deed be punished? It's a good deed.

Tonight, my good deeds were punished. Tonight I realized that no matter how hard I try to be a kind person and help somebody out and give them what they need/want, it will always backfire. I will fall for somebody, I will do everything I can to make them happy, and I will push them away. No names, and no order, will follow here. Only the truth. F'k you if you think I'm wrong.

I did what your friends should have done... you should not have been let fall. You should not have been allowed to spiral so far down that the only think that feels safe is introversion and distrust. You live with this pain, now, because nobody saw where you were falling. I wish I was there when it started; but I wasn't. I, however, am here now. And I'll walk through your hell to stop your from falling anymore.

I'm sorry I cared about the religion. You and I were better than that; and it was a foolish mistake to listen when they said "Thou shalt not..."

I'm sorry I said don't come back. When you left for up north and sleapt with your ex, then texted me the next day all the details... I'm sorry I didn't forgive you. Sitting at my desk, creating these words and these images, I fill my head with the thousand different ways to curse myself for not saying "I'm sorry I drove you to that... tell me how to make it better."

I'm sorry I took you for granted. You were there for me through all the hard times. You loved me unconditionally, and you sat there while I talked about the girls I liked and the people I wish I could be with. You were right there the whole time, but I was too stupid to see it. I'm sorry that I didn't love you as much.

Let this go out as my promise, witnessed by all who's eyes will pass. I don't care if you cheated on me, or that she doesn't have a job or a car, or that she doesn't believe in the same religion as I do... I care that it was right, and it made us both happy. Fuck the people that told me it was wrong. I swear, before all the heavens and those here, I will not make these mistakes again.

And, finally, I renounce this thing called furry. I am not a furry. All furry has gotten me is Mockery, loss, heartache and rejection. I am not a freak. I do not wish to be classified with a group known as 'freaks.' I am well aware that there are several, SEVERAL, non-freak members of the community... but the world doesn't see them. I will not be that.

I am not a cheetah. I am a human. bitch and piss all you want to me about this shit but, at the end of the day, you're a person. you always will be. and so will I. Kheetah is dead. My name is Richard.

Fuck the ones who took them from me.

I have a good friend who's needs a little help. She's run into a little bit of trouble and needs some money. Enough people finally told her to open up comissions that she decided to. She's selling badges, heads, busts, full bodies, clean and yiffy and all that stuff.

 missfrostwolf

She is an amazing person; both in personality and talent, and I hate to see her go through this knowing that there's thousands upon thousands of people here who would (a) love to help somebody out; and (b) also love to have awesome art.

If you're looking to have a piece comissioned, don't even think of making a choice until you've looked through her gallery at least once. I promise you'll love it.

Finaly, if you can, put this in your own journal or somehow spread the word. I don't like to see her sad :(

-Kheetah

I post alot of poetry, I realize that. Every time I post it, a little voice in the back of my head asks "why are you doing that? Nobody's gonna read these. What's the point?"

The point, ladies and gentlemen, is that somebody will. I don't write my poems for the masses. I write them for the names that haunt my mind. These stupid words and these stupid drawings... they're not mine. They belong to the people who hurt me. The people who left me, lied to me, cheated on me, used me... they belong to them. I don't have many talents, but the ones I have are forever dedicated to the promise that I can't hate you.

No matter how hard I try, no matter how many people say I should. I can't. Every rhyme, every line, every smudge, and every work is dedicated to the memory that I can't forget. Sometimes I suffer that memmory; But, sometimes...

...sometiems it helps me sleep at night.

So here's to you. You may never read these. But somebody will. And they will know that here is a heart that will never wish you harm.