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Fursuit Convention Do's / Don'ts
Posted 9 years agoLet's start with what not to do...
DON'T:
Rub my nose bridge / facial markings - They are Airbrushed and do not want them to rub off.
Rub/scritch my bodysuit too hard. Same thing applies from about the facial markings. Most of the black spots are airbrushed and want to keep the suit as new as possible.
Roughhouse / tackle / in general don't be rough with me, fursuits are expensive.
Yank on my tail... That's kind of a no brainer.
Grind/grope on me in public... That's very frowned upon.
DO:
Take pictures of me. (Just be sure to notify me prior to for best photo ops) And please share them! ^_^
Hug me.
Pet me gently.
Talk to me.
Include me in silliness and general tomfoolery!
Invite me to parties! I love being social!
Life report, con report, the works..... Life from the 80's
Posted 9 years agoEurofurence 2016 Review:
I went to EF one year ago after multiple attempts by a good friend Tillikum to make it. 2015 was an eye opener going to this convention for the first time. I went the weekend before and spent time with my friend and met a new one - Tay - who is rooming with the awesome huskybutt.
This though is about 2016 so I won’t digress back further. I just wanted to preface it - as due to how things went that year, and affected my feelings on going to a convention outside of the United States… I decided to make a return trip this year 2016.
The highlights of 2015 were the water park excursion, and that event (due to it’s monumental success) was planned to happen again this year. The actual main reason for my return was that I love to do special costumes if I can for the theme of the convention.
For example:
MFF - “It Came From TV”: Jack Harkness (Torchwood), Malcom Reynolds (Firefly)
TFF - “Time Traveler’s Ball:: Doctor Who - (Furry Night Live - Stage Production)
TFF - “Heroes & Villans”: Gambit (X-Men), Jedi (Random - My creation)
MFF - “Pirates” - Renaissance Gear (Doublette / Leather Tunic)
EF 2015 - “Greenhouse”: Renaissance Gear (Long leather Tunic)
Those are to name a few. I just love costuming in general. I have been doing it for years way before I got into the fandom. I started with renaissance costuming. That progressed to anime conventions and doing cosplay of various anime and video game characters. When I finally stumbled upon the furry fandom after werewolves became a big thing to me. I chose my character - a black & silver furred wolf. He had a huge background story as when I created him it was back in the MUCK days and stories were all the rage. Now a days…. not so much.
Back on topic though. EF 2016 — I have to say this was absolutely one of the best conventions I have ever attended that made me feel…. well…. special. It is actually very hard to describe it. I have been going to conventions since 2001. I took a big plunge into the deep end and went to Anthrocon that year, then followed by finding the furry community of the DFW area at an anime convention room party that happened at - “Project A-Kon”. I met one of my longest standing friends from the MUCKS at that party, and always admired his art, but got to know him on a personal level and have been just long standing friends with a fox by the name of StarGazer. I can’t sing his praises highly enough. He is an absolute sweetheart. He’s been there for me through thick and thin…. The worst and best times. He’s certainly a special fox to me. A definite keeper.
Sorry for digressing - Back to the topic at hand. EF 2016.
I like to consider myself a child of the 80’s - There’s so much I grew up with or remember from this timeframe. The great music and animated TV shows. Things ranging from “Pirates of Darkwater” (one of my all time favorites that was never finished), to things like ThunderCats, Silver Hawks… Then there was kind of what I like to consider the birth of anime here in the US with Robotech. I can’t sing Robotech’s praises highly enough. My favorite character was Max Sterling - the pilot of the blue Varitech.
For the longest time as I stated earlier I like to “dress up” or cosplay as it were for the conventions I go to. Usually anime, one doesn’t need to do any “theme” you just do whatever character from a series / movie etc. You usually chose the most iconic or recognizable outfit they always wore so that you’d get the most recognition. For EF I decided to chose two conventions. The prior year “Greenhouse” was so very hard to do any costuming for, but I did take my long leather tunic - so along with my pursuit’s first time overseas - so too was it for my renaissance gear, which was the first ever gear I started wearing while fruiting.
The two costumes I chose were from some of the most iconic and recognizable of that era.
Karate Kid: Daniel(san) - His white karate outfit + Headband
Blade Runner: Deckard Cain - Trench Coat, button up shirt, pants, tie.
I chose these two because truthfully they were simple to do. I always try to start with what I actually have available to me and then obtain what I need to complete the outfit. The Karate Kid - I took an easy route, but wish I hadn’t due to the quality I like to put into these things. I got off of Amazon a “Halloween Store” mass produced costume. Don’t get me wrong it was decent, but had I put more effort into it I know I could’ve done better. I think I will, but depends on another convention if they do the 80’s theme or possibly kung fu or martial arts in general.
Blade Runner: This was the most involved costume of the two. I already had most of the parts, like the trench coat, button up shirt, and pants. I had to obtain a replica tie, but that was it to complete the outfit. I don’t own one of the replica guns… After the HUGE success of this Blade Runner outfit I now really want to obtain a prop to be that much more accurate.
The flight over from DFW to FRA was amazing. I can’t stress how awesome it was. The flight attendant working with me took such good care…. She made my flight the best and I so wish I could remember her name. So the trip started out so awesome.
When I arrived at Frankfurt I then got on a plane from FRA to TXL. From there it took me a bit working with Tremelo via regular text to coordinate getting onto a train or two to get to the Estrelle hotel. It wasn’t that hard, but for a stupid american who doesn’t know anything it was daunting… The snep’s guidance was a breath of fresh air when everything around me was foreign and wasn’t being picked up by a friend.
Once I got my stuff into Tremmy’s room, we went out on the town of Berlin. We walked and walked and took some subway cars, and walked some more. It was awesome. We saw a ton of historical sites and I took so many pictures. I shared them with my parents saying “look where I’m at” and things like that. I didn’t mind being the typical “tourist” I was out with friends and had great company and an amazingly awesome time. You 3 made my Monday the best. Next year we will have to hit up the spy museum and that other place that we have to setup by invitation. Let’s make plans ok? :)
I truthfully can’t remember much of Tuesday it was a little bit of a blur…. I know it was still tons of fun. Maybe someone can remind me what all we did. I know I wasn’t drunk, but I just can’t seem to remember it! XD
The reason I want to go that much further with the Blade Runner outfit was of one time I was in the dealer’s den on Thursday. There were two people I met just in passing out of suit in the costume. I got both to be worn in and out of suit, and that was my first time wearing the BR one. It was loved by most everyone, but two people in particular stood out from the rest. Ahran, a lion, and funny enough another lion, by the name of Balor. I was wandering out the dealer’s den just to check things out prior to going for the “official” OFA (One Fur All) photoshoot for EF 2016. Both of the lions expressed interest in taking photos of the BR outfit. I told them both - meet me after the OFA shoot, and they could pose me as they wish for BR themed photos. We ended up down in the basement / garage of the hotel. The whole photoshoot took roughly another couple hours, so…. I was in suit quite a bit longer than I usually am…. but it didn’t exactly feel like I was in suit for all that long…. It was quite enjoyable. We had one kind of pause/break because I had an artist message me that an art commission was completed. During that break Ahran went looking for a second fursuit to do a few “scenes”.
The scenes ranged from me hiding behind a pillar warning the other suiter of danger. The coolest scene was when we were fighting one another. He wanted action and the other fursuit he acquired for the photoshoot was interestingly enough another scribble fox (OFA) suit by the name of Nuatu. The person wearing him though wasn’t the suit’s owner, but it was still cool that he obtained another fursuit of the same maker for these shots. It kind of made things “complete” as it were.
I’m still waiting to see all the photos. I’m waiting with great excitement *wags his tail*. I’m just kind of blown away by how fast friends it kind of worked out with both Balor, and Ahran. Truthfully just having them love my outfit and gush over it made my convention…. Them though wanting me to do this private photo shoot was just…. I can’t describe how special it made me feel. I wanted to make those two happy and would do anything within my power costume / Blade Runner wise to see them smile with glee….
I lovingly said this phrase. “I am an action figure. Pose me however you wish. I don’t care how small a little detail you need to do, even a finger… I’m yours to move about to make the best “scene” / photo possible. Hell Ahran gushed a bit over me out of fursuit…. We even had a bit of a photoshoot later out of suit. I did it just for him. I personally think outside of suit I’m nothing all that much of anything. Aran though…… well if he wanted photos of me in my Blade Runner outfit without the fursuit…. then by George he would have them. I would do what I can to make that fancy feline happy. All that took was really kind of showing him that a lot of the things he did for others made them so ecstatic.
He told me about a prop because he is a GIANT Zootopia fan….. I mean he has a shrine kind of dedicated to Zootopia and I give him kudos to that. I do love the film, but he’s definitely in the real of the overly dedicated fan. It’s fun to see that level of someone who enjoys something to THAT degree.
Now what he did was bring a prop… Something that one would think was simple, but to do this prop justice he went to the ENTH degree. He made a JUMBO POP. A real life honest to god Jumbo Pop!!!!!!
It looked amazing. He told me he’d have it available during some “Motofurs Meet” on Friday. I told him I’d definitely be there because the prop seemed just too cool to not want to play with and get pictures with.
Unfortunately Friday would turn out to be a “LDD” (Lame Duck Day) for me. I’m making up my own acronym, but the reality of the situation still stands. The entirety of Friday I was laid up in bed…. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. Well I could’ve…. at one point when someone got me a wheelchair….. but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Thursday evening after a private photoshoot with a Lucky Tiger in suit - I also got out of suit to make Ahran’s little evening photoshoot out of fursuit and dressed as Blade Runner. I got there late…. We didn’t do as many shots as I think he would have liked, but he wanted me around the fire pit and that general area for a night time photo shoot. I just couldn’t say no to the awesome feline. I’ll definitely be sharing photos once he gets them to me.
That evening after the out of fursuit photo shoot I went to the dance going on. They were having a definite “80’s Dance” - All the songs were either the originals or cool remakes of classic 80’s songs that I remember from my youth. I was up till maybe 4/5 in the morning. I just couldn’t stop having fun. Even danced with the lovely Rima wolf for a bit… Unfortunately me trying to be silly ended up with me in a shit ton of pain….. I was quite stupid during a big jump up in the air. I landed wrong and rolled my ankle to the side. The pain was excruciating. I haven’t hurt myself like that in like forever….. I hope no one else self inflicts something like that upon themselves. I had to hobble back to my room. It was quite the chore not to fall over crying….. but by god I wouldn’t let others see how fucking stupid and how bad I fucked up…
Friday morning I didn’t get much sleep if at all. After the dance I had dragged myself to my room…. had a hot soaking bath to help the healing process and crawled under the covers of my bed curling up in a crying ball of pain and agony.
Later on Friday morning after not sleeping at all really…. Rima messaged me. She wanted me to join her and Leaf Fox like we had on prior days for breakfast. I decided not to beat around the bush and told her I could not because I was in pain and asked her since she was up to please grab me a couple things from the pharmacy….. a compression bandage, some cold packs, and vitamin water. I felt so fucking embarrassed I had hurt myself I didn’t want to involve anyone or anything…. I wanted to curl up that day licking my wounds in private and hope that no one would notice my “absence” until I was 100% better….
Well the whole hoping no one would notice plan was thrown out the minute I had mentioned to Rima about being hurt and in pain. *chuckles* MAAAAAAYYYYYBEEEEE if I had downplayed how hurt I actually was, but that would’ve involved lying and I couldn’t ever lie to her…. So….. while I was waiting without having any breakfast for Rima to be a delivery maiden…. I got a knock on the door and my roomie Sairys opened it up…. I didn’t get out of bed and then my eyes like went so wide eyed when 5 people showed up instead of just maybe Rima and Leaf. I had to do a double take….. My eyes went wide, my mouth literally dropped to the floor and I was blushing so heavily it isn’t funny. Rima and Leaf were that concerned about me (I love them both to death) they decided to just skip the pharmacy run and get con medical for me….. I am totally unworthy of the love / care they showed me…. I don’t know any way I can repay them….. I just….. I was literally in tears of joy how concerned they were for me.
However though…… I was absolutely embarrassed because the night prior when I flopped into bed I was completely STARK naked…. I mean I usually wear underwear or shorts of sleep pants or SOMETHING. I had 3 unfamiliar people there looking at me and was so glad I was lying under the blanket. I shooed them all out and painfully put on some biker shorts I brought with me. Then allowed them all back into my room.
They looked me over, examined my ankle, and thank god they didn’t think I needed to go to the hospital. I just don’t think I could have dealt with being maimed and lame and stuck in a foreign country and dealing with the hospital system of Germany. I don’t care if Berlin has some wonderful hospital / emergency care facilities…. I was so stupid and hurt myself I didn’t want to go anywhere….. I was feeling so so so so annoyed at myself for having allowed it to happen. I know there’s only so much one can control, and accidents happen. This being one of my more painful accidents, and it was self inflicted…. I had no one to blame really but myself…. For being overly happy and bouncy and stupid to have tried something dumb and I paid the price….
Thankfully the price wasn’t too high. All it cost me was one day of my convention I was out of it. ALL day…. I was stir crazy truthfully. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. I felt so, insignificant and didn’t want to bother really any of my friends…. I did though want people’s company while I was stuck in my room. I was on telegram and trying to speak to anyone / everyone there or not at the con. I used the time to catch up on emails I hadn’t. Truthfully I had done most things I could feasibly do while being lame and was so so so so bored out of my skull. I felt sorry for myself and felt I was disappointing others since I couldn’t be out enjoying the con with them… I especially felt bad for Ahran, because I mentioned I would be at that Motofurs thing to play with his “Jumbo Pop” (prop…. you all can get your minds out of the gutter thank you very much! XD)
So yea, Friday was not much really. All I can say is that besides some drama that I had still been kinda dealing with from Wednesday and trying to work past…. I was dealing with something else at one point…. Since I was a lame @$$ and stuck in bed I decided to tackle another bit of drama that had creeped up during the con. It wasn’t pretty exactly. At one point my friend Yarwick came up to my room and due to a few things and others being out and away….. I decided to take it upon myself to obtain some clear plastic sleeves for sheets of paper for the two commissions I had obtained the day previously.
My friends Bardolph, Soul and Chibi had obtained for me a Wheelchair and I out of stupid dignity and pride didn’t really want to use it and be seen out in public in it…. I was feeling embarrassed enough as it is for my stupidity in self inflicting this injury upon myself. That was the main reason I was staying inside the room being a lame @$$. In hind sight I should have maybe tried going outside to be around others. I think it would have greatly helped my mood and not had me wallowing in any self depreciating thoughts and other things that were floating around in my head while I was alone with no one to keep me out of the dark recesses of my psyche. I don’t recommend dwelling there…. in your own heads…. Never fun, and it’s too tempting. Oh so tempting because it can be warm and inviting…. To go there, take a tiny sip, then a gulp, then more…. then slip in and never come out. I mean it can be like a poison…. Watch it. I mean it’s there as a warning, so do use it for what it’s supposed to be there for us all….. Though I’m not gonna go all psycho babble on you. I’m not a psychologist or anything or doctor in any way shape or form…. I do have a little “experience” like we all do on that kind of thing and just giving my two cents as it were. So take it for what it’s worth….. Maybe even 5cents like Lucy perhaps? :) *chuckles* Beware though the football can be pulled out from you at any time and you gotta watch it and land on your feet…. XD I didn’t in this case So yea I was a lame anthro / taur for the entire day…. I hope not to have that experience again being laid up in bed for any amount of time during a convention. I know how it is to catch a bug / con crud though…. This was different and unpleasant. It’s gonna take time to heal.
1. Was to heal as quickly as possible. I took a few hot bath soaks and all to try to help sooth things.
2. Being in my room meant I wasn’t in the public eye…. Not that I’m any kind of famous figure or anything or a “popular” - except having a suit from a maker that a TON of people like. I just don’t exactly have stalkers, or none that I’m aware of really. Guess if I do they are quiet stalkers. At least I like to think I’m well liked by others, and that they want me around. Though I will admit sometimes I very much feel like I’m unwanted and stuff…. I over think things…. I try not to make up or “will” problems into existence…. When I feel something is “off” I do though, try to get to the bottom of what it is…. I am a problem solver by profession. I like to fix things. If I can’t fix it great… I usually have to probe around to get to the bottom of things. I usually try to find out who to contact or go to the source of what is the “problem”…. find out what can possibly fix the issue.
That being said truthfully I lost a day out of my vacation. It wasn’t uneventful. I at times had people come see me to keep me company and help me not be bored. I can’t thank each and everyone of you enough. Being bored though, gave me a lot of time to think on some things and I reached out to a couple of potential long standing problems or “issues” even if they were only something “slight” to see if maybe…. JUST maybe a little nudge could get the ball rolling and have things get better or maybe even fixed. Some problems take longer than others to resolve. This much I’ve definitely noticed.
Ok…. Saturday truthfully the last day of the convention.
I was so sad that this day had come. I had totally been on “Cloud 9” for pretty much all of this vacation. When I got up - I took a step and my foot and leg didn’t make me keel over in complete agony like Friday when I was bedridden. I was almost literally crying tears of joy. It looked like the maker(s) above were looking out over me and I didn’t have any broken bones (that I know of and I will be going to the doctor once I’m home to check). The first thing that came to mind was Ahran - and getting into fursuit and having a JUMBO POP to celebrate that I could actually walk some, granted WITH pain…. but it was tolerable…. unlike Friday where I couldn’t at all. I literally if I tried to put any weight on it…. I was treated to searing pain. On a pain scale Friday was like 13 on a scale of 1-10. The pain I felt Saturday…. maybe a 3/4, or maybe a 2/3 out of 10 tops. I can deal with that kind of pain. I personally think when I was angry Friday at one point I hobbled on that leg aggravating it a bit, but I had to prove to myself and someone else that I could do it without the wheelchair. I didn’t want to use it…. I hated the damn thing. I really did. I saw it as a sign of weakness and that I could and was better than it.
I eventually got over that though. When I felt I could fursuit and walk a bit, or hobble with some pain… SOME pain was better than SEARING AGONY. I can deal with some pain. I have decent pain tolerance I think. So… with some help. I got into fursuit and dressed up in my Karate Kid outfit. I got in touch with Ahran and wanted pics with the jumbo pop. Yarwick had come to my room to help me….
I can’t thank him enough for doing that. I will never forget him or how much he cared to go out of his way to get me around and to take me to Ahran to make good on what I couldn’t Friday at the Moto meet. Ahran went out of his way just for me Saturday besides his staff duty to the Guests of Honor…. He spent time JUST for me…. JUST to give me time with his JUMBO POP prop….. I was almost in tears of joy…. that he went out of his way JUST FOR ME. I only met him the Thursday prior, and yea we “bonded over blade runner”, and I hope to continue to keep in touch with him. He is an awesome individual. He said I was his first learning experience photographing fursuits directly. He’s done weddings and things of that nature. I may have helped him into a new world of photography within the fandom. I’ll gladly assist him as a model in this and see where things go.
Yarwick was wheeling me around in fursuit in the wheelchair to get to him for this Jumbo Pop excursion. We took pics in front of the Van downstairs in the lobby area. I was just so ecstatic. I made sure to try NOT to overdo things like prior when I walked angrily, and hobbled around the dealer den area. I wonder if that prolonged the healing process. I do not know, but I was only in some pain that was tolerable…. I was just so elated I could walk again, even with a bit of a limp from the pain.
Ahran made the little quip about the Karate Kid that I didn’t even think of that I was so dedicated to my cause in cosplaying and delving deep into the character of Daniel LaRuso - that I injured myself to get a feel for the character!
If that was the case somewhere in the back of my head….. I want to tell that part of my brain to never do this again. I don’t want to go through that kind of physical pain ever again. I mean I’ve had cuts, bruises, scrapes…. stitches were the worst….. I’ve never though EVER had a broken bone. At least not yet. I will find out once I’m home and have it checked by my local doctor. I’ll keep things posted there.
We even went outside to the “Beer Garden” area outside the Estrell in the daylight around some of the area we had the main OFA photoshoot. I took to the stairs a bit and was able to get around with some difficulty and pain but I just have to say in my head I was crying tears of joy that I could at least get around…. albeit in some discomfort…. I just was back to being happy again after that entire day of being lame, stuck in bed, feeling sorry for myself…..
Eventually I had to get out of suit. I stayed around as long as Ahran was able to, and he even stayed up and around for me a tiny bit later than he originally intended to take care of his staff duties.
The rest of the day was a little bit of a blur…. I was so happy I could move about. I was at one point while I was trying to get out of suit stopped by staff and one of the main heads even offered a motorized scooter. I likely should have taken him up on it then, but after the Jumbo Pop stuff…. I wanted to get out of suit…. I was still dealing with some things with friends. I hope the stuff there that was going on drama wise no one ever has to experience again. I never meant to make any kind of scene. I did want to make it known my feelings when I am experiencing pain emotionally or physically. I think I need to learn when to tone it back. I sometimes though need a grounding rod…. I can be emotional. I care about people…. Sometimes too much. I think I need to learn not to care AS much sometimes…. That may sound bitter, but it’s true…. I think I stretch myself too thin and then things tear at me all over and it’s hard to heal from that, or at least when you’re hurt from all over in so many places…. it can be one of those times where you’re hurting all over and snap at those trying to help soothe, even though they’re trying to help you heal if it hurts even slightly you may bite and not be meaning to cause pain to others. I truthfully am really sorry everyone. Please forgive this stupid and sometimes overly emotional wolf - hybrid…. well thing or just your average joe. I’m no one special. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I just want to be there for those I care for, and be loved / cared for in return. It’s not about constant contact. It’s not about equal reciprocation. Everyone’s different I know this. I’m definitely not the normal type of person. I sometimes question what kind of person I am. I do daily. I wonder if I’m doing things right or if I did something wrong. If I do, do something wrong I hope that someone will tell me. So that I can re-evaluate myself. So that I can FIX it. I’m not broken. I may do something wrong inadvertently because I don’t know. There’s tons I do not know. I got lots to learn about how to deal with others, and just myself. I have to worry about myself first before I can truly understand another person. Everyone of us is so complex… So many facets that make up who we are.
Hell I am an identical twin. We may be alike in many ways, but boy and how are we different. It was more the same when we lived together, but that changed when we moved out on our own and started living our own lives. I sometimes am so jealous of his life. I know he has been of my job situation and lifestyle. I have to work my @$$ off….. He has the love of his life he lives his life for… I….. well…. I don’t have that. I may not, and probably never will. I don’t know. It could happen. If I let it. That’s all on me.
I suffered a big setback in the realm of the heart, and I don’t know if or when or really if I really WANT to recover from it. I kind of waffle from time to time wondering if I should let myself be open. Do I really WISH to let someone that close…. to know the real inner me that I keep just to myself away from all prying eyes and that no one else can see. I think sometimes some people have seen through the chinks in my armor to that treasure I keep well hidden. It’s not that I can’t care for people closer than just a friendship level. I for the most part only LET it stop there. I keep things at arms length. It’s a mechanism I’ve refined and sharpened and is a well oiled machine. The upkeep is exhausting though and I think that’s why some people here and there see the inner me sometimes. I’d like to hope they like what they see. Maybe so, maybe not…. Either way that’s just how I live my life. Things are always subject to change as life is so chaotic and no one can predict anything exactly.
Ok enough on this silly philosophical and self introspection. Back to the “good stuff” right? =^.^=
The really only “down” / depressed time which I was kinda saddened and crushed by was when I was physically injured. I can’t deny though that some emotional drama happened… It seems quite the common thing among the “fandom”. I really don’t want to go into it suffice to say…. One person said something that just set me off badly. It reminded me back when in middle / high school - back during a not so fun time of my life. I felt insulted and walked away from any potential altercation. I then proceeded to try to sort out my own reaction to the situation. I think truthfully I did overreact, but the other party had no idea what they did would have set me off so bad. Unfortunately life is as it is…. I was really really hurt by this and then asked around a few people to see if I was in the “wrong” for acting or reacting like I did. Truthfully 100% of the people I asked - said the person was rude as “fuck” and I should just ignore him. I truthfully did just that. I actively ignored and avoided the person. I did make a couple twitter posts to explain the situation, but not as fully detailed as this.
After coming to terms with the situation I felt I could easily let it go, and I have currently. I wanted though to give him the opportunity to rectify and make things “right by me” as it were. I can be prideful at times, and this was one of those times. I was actively avoiding him and hated seeing a few of my friends spending time around the person. *shrugs* It wasn’t such a big deal, but with how I felt I did not want to be even near the source of what had caused me to react like that…. I didn’t want to potentially have a bad reaction again to him. It looks like this caused some tension between me and some of my actual friends…. I never meant for this really. I’m truthfully sorry for that. I hope that it hasn’t damaged anything with some that are real close to me like a certain little fox. *sighs* I feel really really bad. I also reacted a little poorly mostly due to my pride in this situation. I’m not always right. I’m not perfect…. Sometimes I need to be told I’m a “bad dog” and then be told what I can do to fix it. I will try to, depending on what it is and if I am able to…. So please bear with me…. I am sometimes inept…. I’m nowhere near 100% in the whole social graces thing. I never like to offend anyone directly or by accident, or even indirectly.
That being said this trip in it’s entirety was just…. Well I can’t find the exact word… It was just totally amazing. I will try to go again even after a tiny what I think I had was a little panic attack the last day. I was trying to avail myself of an offer from a staff member for a motorized scooter instead of the wheelchair I was using. No one really helped me at all. People were closing down shop that Sunday. I was feeling all alone, and no one could help me…. All I wanted was a little bit of help to get something that had been offered me. I wish I had said something direct after it was offered, but I was in a rush to get out of suit….. Chalk that up to experience. Next time - take it, when it’s freely offered or you won’t have access to it later, or it’ll be tricky to be given access to it since those who offered were unavailable to be contacted.
Either way after that fiasco I missed a group OFA photoshoot for Sunday. The original plan was for the roof, but some weather and rain messed that up. Plan B was for a conference room up in the penthouse area I was up there maybe once this time to hang out with a huskybutt. I wish we’d hung out more, but EF he’s always busy. Anyone who is staff is so so busy. I’m staff at TFF so I know how that goes. I just happened to chose a role that is not so hectic and don’t plan on changing any time soon.
Unfortunately plan B also got shot down. Which really sucked. Security was supposed to have been able to Sunday to give us priority. Guess no one got the memo. It happens…. Just unfortunately for me with plan C that was the most chaotic and that one led to some misconceptions and big misunderstandings all around. It was a horrible situation that left well me…. with a bad taste in my mouth. It almost made me want to just leave the con for a bit and also not ever come back…… I just couldn’t understand what was so hard and why it was so difficult to get a moto scooter to give me some better mobility than the stupid wheelchair. I mean the stupid wheelchair had deflated tires, but I was making due…. Had been since I started using it. To tell you the truth I would’ve liked to have TRIED using the moto scooter thing just for fun, but hey I was a lame duck and that was more of a reason to actually use the item right? Though everyone around me seemed to speak german german german and I couldn’t understand a word of it… Except would say Uncle Kage’s mother, and that there was one more but no one had the key….. I just shouldn’t have even tried getting the moto scooter…. It caused so many problems it seems to everyone else and caused me no end of heart ache afterwards…. No one has even apologized to me for how this grievously affected me, my mood, and quite frankly…. My overall health.
I was at con ops. I couldn’t get in touch with who offered the transportation / mobility assistance vehicle to me. I kept reaching out and it was like no one would help. I went to security as well. That’s where Yarwick went and they couldn’t help him get to either the roof or conference room. I wasn’t sure exactly how long I was in con ops. I mean I even had someone help take me there from up around my floor. He was real helpful. Quiran I think was his name. He even took my sketchbook to some artist and I gave a donation of the last of my US dollars. He is some kind of vet person I think. He was so nice….. So security wise HE gets 5stars in my books. The rest of security who likes to pass the problem to someone else can suck it. I hope they get their @$$3$ in gear and get their proverbial head out of their posterior. You help your con goers…. You don’t leave them confused, alone, and just overwhelmed. Same goes for Con Ops…. It doesn’t matter if you’re closing up shop on Sunday…. The run of the mill con attendee and quite frankly - me - your stereotypical dumb American needed some help in this foreign land of confusion. When I hear german all I hear is — Person A - “german german german ok german german german”, and that’s about it…. I can pick out some clear words sometimes…. I would be scared to go to the city alone…. I was so glad I was with others Monday like Rizzo, Tremelo, and Kokanee.
When I went to security they passed me back on to con ops. No one was there… everyone was packing up shop. It very much felt like no one really wanted to help or gave two shits about the lame hybrid who just wanted a moto scooter…. I just wish I hand’t even tried to obtain it. It would have saved me stress and hassle and wouldn’t have rattled me to the core as I was left all alone for so long with no one there helping me or checking up on the physically hurt hybrid. I reached out to some friends asking them to just come and give me some company because I was so alone as no one was around. I unfortunately was snappy because of how I was feeling just brushed aside every which way. I’m truly sorry doggies. Please forgive this wolf..... *sighs*
I went to EF one year ago after multiple attempts by a good friend Tillikum to make it. 2015 was an eye opener going to this convention for the first time. I went the weekend before and spent time with my friend and met a new one - Tay - who is rooming with the awesome huskybutt.
This though is about 2016 so I won’t digress back further. I just wanted to preface it - as due to how things went that year, and affected my feelings on going to a convention outside of the United States… I decided to make a return trip this year 2016.
The highlights of 2015 were the water park excursion, and that event (due to it’s monumental success) was planned to happen again this year. The actual main reason for my return was that I love to do special costumes if I can for the theme of the convention.
For example:
MFF - “It Came From TV”: Jack Harkness (Torchwood), Malcom Reynolds (Firefly)
TFF - “Time Traveler’s Ball:: Doctor Who - (Furry Night Live - Stage Production)
TFF - “Heroes & Villans”: Gambit (X-Men), Jedi (Random - My creation)
MFF - “Pirates” - Renaissance Gear (Doublette / Leather Tunic)
EF 2015 - “Greenhouse”: Renaissance Gear (Long leather Tunic)
Those are to name a few. I just love costuming in general. I have been doing it for years way before I got into the fandom. I started with renaissance costuming. That progressed to anime conventions and doing cosplay of various anime and video game characters. When I finally stumbled upon the furry fandom after werewolves became a big thing to me. I chose my character - a black & silver furred wolf. He had a huge background story as when I created him it was back in the MUCK days and stories were all the rage. Now a days…. not so much.
Back on topic though. EF 2016 — I have to say this was absolutely one of the best conventions I have ever attended that made me feel…. well…. special. It is actually very hard to describe it. I have been going to conventions since 2001. I took a big plunge into the deep end and went to Anthrocon that year, then followed by finding the furry community of the DFW area at an anime convention room party that happened at - “Project A-Kon”. I met one of my longest standing friends from the MUCKS at that party, and always admired his art, but got to know him on a personal level and have been just long standing friends with a fox by the name of StarGazer. I can’t sing his praises highly enough. He is an absolute sweetheart. He’s been there for me through thick and thin…. The worst and best times. He’s certainly a special fox to me. A definite keeper.
Sorry for digressing - Back to the topic at hand. EF 2016.
I like to consider myself a child of the 80’s - There’s so much I grew up with or remember from this timeframe. The great music and animated TV shows. Things ranging from “Pirates of Darkwater” (one of my all time favorites that was never finished), to things like ThunderCats, Silver Hawks… Then there was kind of what I like to consider the birth of anime here in the US with Robotech. I can’t sing Robotech’s praises highly enough. My favorite character was Max Sterling - the pilot of the blue Varitech.
For the longest time as I stated earlier I like to “dress up” or cosplay as it were for the conventions I go to. Usually anime, one doesn’t need to do any “theme” you just do whatever character from a series / movie etc. You usually chose the most iconic or recognizable outfit they always wore so that you’d get the most recognition. For EF I decided to chose two conventions. The prior year “Greenhouse” was so very hard to do any costuming for, but I did take my long leather tunic - so along with my pursuit’s first time overseas - so too was it for my renaissance gear, which was the first ever gear I started wearing while fruiting.
The two costumes I chose were from some of the most iconic and recognizable of that era.
Karate Kid: Daniel(san) - His white karate outfit + Headband
Blade Runner: Deckard Cain - Trench Coat, button up shirt, pants, tie.
I chose these two because truthfully they were simple to do. I always try to start with what I actually have available to me and then obtain what I need to complete the outfit. The Karate Kid - I took an easy route, but wish I hadn’t due to the quality I like to put into these things. I got off of Amazon a “Halloween Store” mass produced costume. Don’t get me wrong it was decent, but had I put more effort into it I know I could’ve done better. I think I will, but depends on another convention if they do the 80’s theme or possibly kung fu or martial arts in general.
Blade Runner: This was the most involved costume of the two. I already had most of the parts, like the trench coat, button up shirt, and pants. I had to obtain a replica tie, but that was it to complete the outfit. I don’t own one of the replica guns… After the HUGE success of this Blade Runner outfit I now really want to obtain a prop to be that much more accurate.
The flight over from DFW to FRA was amazing. I can’t stress how awesome it was. The flight attendant working with me took such good care…. She made my flight the best and I so wish I could remember her name. So the trip started out so awesome.
When I arrived at Frankfurt I then got on a plane from FRA to TXL. From there it took me a bit working with Tremelo via regular text to coordinate getting onto a train or two to get to the Estrelle hotel. It wasn’t that hard, but for a stupid american who doesn’t know anything it was daunting… The snep’s guidance was a breath of fresh air when everything around me was foreign and wasn’t being picked up by a friend.
Once I got my stuff into Tremmy’s room, we went out on the town of Berlin. We walked and walked and took some subway cars, and walked some more. It was awesome. We saw a ton of historical sites and I took so many pictures. I shared them with my parents saying “look where I’m at” and things like that. I didn’t mind being the typical “tourist” I was out with friends and had great company and an amazingly awesome time. You 3 made my Monday the best. Next year we will have to hit up the spy museum and that other place that we have to setup by invitation. Let’s make plans ok? :)
I truthfully can’t remember much of Tuesday it was a little bit of a blur…. I know it was still tons of fun. Maybe someone can remind me what all we did. I know I wasn’t drunk, but I just can’t seem to remember it! XD
The reason I want to go that much further with the Blade Runner outfit was of one time I was in the dealer’s den on Thursday. There were two people I met just in passing out of suit in the costume. I got both to be worn in and out of suit, and that was my first time wearing the BR one. It was loved by most everyone, but two people in particular stood out from the rest. Ahran, a lion, and funny enough another lion, by the name of Balor. I was wandering out the dealer’s den just to check things out prior to going for the “official” OFA (One Fur All) photoshoot for EF 2016. Both of the lions expressed interest in taking photos of the BR outfit. I told them both - meet me after the OFA shoot, and they could pose me as they wish for BR themed photos. We ended up down in the basement / garage of the hotel. The whole photoshoot took roughly another couple hours, so…. I was in suit quite a bit longer than I usually am…. but it didn’t exactly feel like I was in suit for all that long…. It was quite enjoyable. We had one kind of pause/break because I had an artist message me that an art commission was completed. During that break Ahran went looking for a second fursuit to do a few “scenes”.
The scenes ranged from me hiding behind a pillar warning the other suiter of danger. The coolest scene was when we were fighting one another. He wanted action and the other fursuit he acquired for the photoshoot was interestingly enough another scribble fox (OFA) suit by the name of Nuatu. The person wearing him though wasn’t the suit’s owner, but it was still cool that he obtained another fursuit of the same maker for these shots. It kind of made things “complete” as it were.
I’m still waiting to see all the photos. I’m waiting with great excitement *wags his tail*. I’m just kind of blown away by how fast friends it kind of worked out with both Balor, and Ahran. Truthfully just having them love my outfit and gush over it made my convention…. Them though wanting me to do this private photo shoot was just…. I can’t describe how special it made me feel. I wanted to make those two happy and would do anything within my power costume / Blade Runner wise to see them smile with glee….
I lovingly said this phrase. “I am an action figure. Pose me however you wish. I don’t care how small a little detail you need to do, even a finger… I’m yours to move about to make the best “scene” / photo possible. Hell Ahran gushed a bit over me out of fursuit…. We even had a bit of a photoshoot later out of suit. I did it just for him. I personally think outside of suit I’m nothing all that much of anything. Aran though…… well if he wanted photos of me in my Blade Runner outfit without the fursuit…. then by George he would have them. I would do what I can to make that fancy feline happy. All that took was really kind of showing him that a lot of the things he did for others made them so ecstatic.
He told me about a prop because he is a GIANT Zootopia fan….. I mean he has a shrine kind of dedicated to Zootopia and I give him kudos to that. I do love the film, but he’s definitely in the real of the overly dedicated fan. It’s fun to see that level of someone who enjoys something to THAT degree.
Now what he did was bring a prop… Something that one would think was simple, but to do this prop justice he went to the ENTH degree. He made a JUMBO POP. A real life honest to god Jumbo Pop!!!!!!
It looked amazing. He told me he’d have it available during some “Motofurs Meet” on Friday. I told him I’d definitely be there because the prop seemed just too cool to not want to play with and get pictures with.
Unfortunately Friday would turn out to be a “LDD” (Lame Duck Day) for me. I’m making up my own acronym, but the reality of the situation still stands. The entirety of Friday I was laid up in bed…. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. Well I could’ve…. at one point when someone got me a wheelchair….. but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Thursday evening after a private photoshoot with a Lucky Tiger in suit - I also got out of suit to make Ahran’s little evening photoshoot out of fursuit and dressed as Blade Runner. I got there late…. We didn’t do as many shots as I think he would have liked, but he wanted me around the fire pit and that general area for a night time photo shoot. I just couldn’t say no to the awesome feline. I’ll definitely be sharing photos once he gets them to me.
That evening after the out of fursuit photo shoot I went to the dance going on. They were having a definite “80’s Dance” - All the songs were either the originals or cool remakes of classic 80’s songs that I remember from my youth. I was up till maybe 4/5 in the morning. I just couldn’t stop having fun. Even danced with the lovely Rima wolf for a bit… Unfortunately me trying to be silly ended up with me in a shit ton of pain….. I was quite stupid during a big jump up in the air. I landed wrong and rolled my ankle to the side. The pain was excruciating. I haven’t hurt myself like that in like forever….. I hope no one else self inflicts something like that upon themselves. I had to hobble back to my room. It was quite the chore not to fall over crying….. but by god I wouldn’t let others see how fucking stupid and how bad I fucked up…
Friday morning I didn’t get much sleep if at all. After the dance I had dragged myself to my room…. had a hot soaking bath to help the healing process and crawled under the covers of my bed curling up in a crying ball of pain and agony.
Later on Friday morning after not sleeping at all really…. Rima messaged me. She wanted me to join her and Leaf Fox like we had on prior days for breakfast. I decided not to beat around the bush and told her I could not because I was in pain and asked her since she was up to please grab me a couple things from the pharmacy….. a compression bandage, some cold packs, and vitamin water. I felt so fucking embarrassed I had hurt myself I didn’t want to involve anyone or anything…. I wanted to curl up that day licking my wounds in private and hope that no one would notice my “absence” until I was 100% better….
Well the whole hoping no one would notice plan was thrown out the minute I had mentioned to Rima about being hurt and in pain. *chuckles* MAAAAAAYYYYYBEEEEE if I had downplayed how hurt I actually was, but that would’ve involved lying and I couldn’t ever lie to her…. So….. while I was waiting without having any breakfast for Rima to be a delivery maiden…. I got a knock on the door and my roomie Sairys opened it up…. I didn’t get out of bed and then my eyes like went so wide eyed when 5 people showed up instead of just maybe Rima and Leaf. I had to do a double take….. My eyes went wide, my mouth literally dropped to the floor and I was blushing so heavily it isn’t funny. Rima and Leaf were that concerned about me (I love them both to death) they decided to just skip the pharmacy run and get con medical for me….. I am totally unworthy of the love / care they showed me…. I don’t know any way I can repay them….. I just….. I was literally in tears of joy how concerned they were for me.
However though…… I was absolutely embarrassed because the night prior when I flopped into bed I was completely STARK naked…. I mean I usually wear underwear or shorts of sleep pants or SOMETHING. I had 3 unfamiliar people there looking at me and was so glad I was lying under the blanket. I shooed them all out and painfully put on some biker shorts I brought with me. Then allowed them all back into my room.
They looked me over, examined my ankle, and thank god they didn’t think I needed to go to the hospital. I just don’t think I could have dealt with being maimed and lame and stuck in a foreign country and dealing with the hospital system of Germany. I don’t care if Berlin has some wonderful hospital / emergency care facilities…. I was so stupid and hurt myself I didn’t want to go anywhere….. I was feeling so so so so annoyed at myself for having allowed it to happen. I know there’s only so much one can control, and accidents happen. This being one of my more painful accidents, and it was self inflicted…. I had no one to blame really but myself…. For being overly happy and bouncy and stupid to have tried something dumb and I paid the price….
Thankfully the price wasn’t too high. All it cost me was one day of my convention I was out of it. ALL day…. I was stir crazy truthfully. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. I felt so, insignificant and didn’t want to bother really any of my friends…. I did though want people’s company while I was stuck in my room. I was on telegram and trying to speak to anyone / everyone there or not at the con. I used the time to catch up on emails I hadn’t. Truthfully I had done most things I could feasibly do while being lame and was so so so so bored out of my skull. I felt sorry for myself and felt I was disappointing others since I couldn’t be out enjoying the con with them… I especially felt bad for Ahran, because I mentioned I would be at that Motofurs thing to play with his “Jumbo Pop” (prop…. you all can get your minds out of the gutter thank you very much! XD)
So yea, Friday was not much really. All I can say is that besides some drama that I had still been kinda dealing with from Wednesday and trying to work past…. I was dealing with something else at one point…. Since I was a lame @$$ and stuck in bed I decided to tackle another bit of drama that had creeped up during the con. It wasn’t pretty exactly. At one point my friend Yarwick came up to my room and due to a few things and others being out and away….. I decided to take it upon myself to obtain some clear plastic sleeves for sheets of paper for the two commissions I had obtained the day previously.
My friends Bardolph, Soul and Chibi had obtained for me a Wheelchair and I out of stupid dignity and pride didn’t really want to use it and be seen out in public in it…. I was feeling embarrassed enough as it is for my stupidity in self inflicting this injury upon myself. That was the main reason I was staying inside the room being a lame @$$. In hind sight I should have maybe tried going outside to be around others. I think it would have greatly helped my mood and not had me wallowing in any self depreciating thoughts and other things that were floating around in my head while I was alone with no one to keep me out of the dark recesses of my psyche. I don’t recommend dwelling there…. in your own heads…. Never fun, and it’s too tempting. Oh so tempting because it can be warm and inviting…. To go there, take a tiny sip, then a gulp, then more…. then slip in and never come out. I mean it can be like a poison…. Watch it. I mean it’s there as a warning, so do use it for what it’s supposed to be there for us all….. Though I’m not gonna go all psycho babble on you. I’m not a psychologist or anything or doctor in any way shape or form…. I do have a little “experience” like we all do on that kind of thing and just giving my two cents as it were. So take it for what it’s worth….. Maybe even 5cents like Lucy perhaps? :) *chuckles* Beware though the football can be pulled out from you at any time and you gotta watch it and land on your feet…. XD I didn’t in this case So yea I was a lame anthro / taur for the entire day…. I hope not to have that experience again being laid up in bed for any amount of time during a convention. I know how it is to catch a bug / con crud though…. This was different and unpleasant. It’s gonna take time to heal.
1. Was to heal as quickly as possible. I took a few hot bath soaks and all to try to help sooth things.
2. Being in my room meant I wasn’t in the public eye…. Not that I’m any kind of famous figure or anything or a “popular” - except having a suit from a maker that a TON of people like. I just don’t exactly have stalkers, or none that I’m aware of really. Guess if I do they are quiet stalkers. At least I like to think I’m well liked by others, and that they want me around. Though I will admit sometimes I very much feel like I’m unwanted and stuff…. I over think things…. I try not to make up or “will” problems into existence…. When I feel something is “off” I do though, try to get to the bottom of what it is…. I am a problem solver by profession. I like to fix things. If I can’t fix it great… I usually have to probe around to get to the bottom of things. I usually try to find out who to contact or go to the source of what is the “problem”…. find out what can possibly fix the issue.
That being said truthfully I lost a day out of my vacation. It wasn’t uneventful. I at times had people come see me to keep me company and help me not be bored. I can’t thank each and everyone of you enough. Being bored though, gave me a lot of time to think on some things and I reached out to a couple of potential long standing problems or “issues” even if they were only something “slight” to see if maybe…. JUST maybe a little nudge could get the ball rolling and have things get better or maybe even fixed. Some problems take longer than others to resolve. This much I’ve definitely noticed.
Ok…. Saturday truthfully the last day of the convention.
I was so sad that this day had come. I had totally been on “Cloud 9” for pretty much all of this vacation. When I got up - I took a step and my foot and leg didn’t make me keel over in complete agony like Friday when I was bedridden. I was almost literally crying tears of joy. It looked like the maker(s) above were looking out over me and I didn’t have any broken bones (that I know of and I will be going to the doctor once I’m home to check). The first thing that came to mind was Ahran - and getting into fursuit and having a JUMBO POP to celebrate that I could actually walk some, granted WITH pain…. but it was tolerable…. unlike Friday where I couldn’t at all. I literally if I tried to put any weight on it…. I was treated to searing pain. On a pain scale Friday was like 13 on a scale of 1-10. The pain I felt Saturday…. maybe a 3/4, or maybe a 2/3 out of 10 tops. I can deal with that kind of pain. I personally think when I was angry Friday at one point I hobbled on that leg aggravating it a bit, but I had to prove to myself and someone else that I could do it without the wheelchair. I didn’t want to use it…. I hated the damn thing. I really did. I saw it as a sign of weakness and that I could and was better than it.
I eventually got over that though. When I felt I could fursuit and walk a bit, or hobble with some pain… SOME pain was better than SEARING AGONY. I can deal with some pain. I have decent pain tolerance I think. So… with some help. I got into fursuit and dressed up in my Karate Kid outfit. I got in touch with Ahran and wanted pics with the jumbo pop. Yarwick had come to my room to help me….
I can’t thank him enough for doing that. I will never forget him or how much he cared to go out of his way to get me around and to take me to Ahran to make good on what I couldn’t Friday at the Moto meet. Ahran went out of his way just for me Saturday besides his staff duty to the Guests of Honor…. He spent time JUST for me…. JUST to give me time with his JUMBO POP prop….. I was almost in tears of joy…. that he went out of his way JUST FOR ME. I only met him the Thursday prior, and yea we “bonded over blade runner”, and I hope to continue to keep in touch with him. He is an awesome individual. He said I was his first learning experience photographing fursuits directly. He’s done weddings and things of that nature. I may have helped him into a new world of photography within the fandom. I’ll gladly assist him as a model in this and see where things go.
Yarwick was wheeling me around in fursuit in the wheelchair to get to him for this Jumbo Pop excursion. We took pics in front of the Van downstairs in the lobby area. I was just so ecstatic. I made sure to try NOT to overdo things like prior when I walked angrily, and hobbled around the dealer den area. I wonder if that prolonged the healing process. I do not know, but I was only in some pain that was tolerable…. I was just so elated I could walk again, even with a bit of a limp from the pain.
Ahran made the little quip about the Karate Kid that I didn’t even think of that I was so dedicated to my cause in cosplaying and delving deep into the character of Daniel LaRuso - that I injured myself to get a feel for the character!
If that was the case somewhere in the back of my head….. I want to tell that part of my brain to never do this again. I don’t want to go through that kind of physical pain ever again. I mean I’ve had cuts, bruises, scrapes…. stitches were the worst….. I’ve never though EVER had a broken bone. At least not yet. I will find out once I’m home and have it checked by my local doctor. I’ll keep things posted there.
We even went outside to the “Beer Garden” area outside the Estrell in the daylight around some of the area we had the main OFA photoshoot. I took to the stairs a bit and was able to get around with some difficulty and pain but I just have to say in my head I was crying tears of joy that I could at least get around…. albeit in some discomfort…. I just was back to being happy again after that entire day of being lame, stuck in bed, feeling sorry for myself…..
Eventually I had to get out of suit. I stayed around as long as Ahran was able to, and he even stayed up and around for me a tiny bit later than he originally intended to take care of his staff duties.
The rest of the day was a little bit of a blur…. I was so happy I could move about. I was at one point while I was trying to get out of suit stopped by staff and one of the main heads even offered a motorized scooter. I likely should have taken him up on it then, but after the Jumbo Pop stuff…. I wanted to get out of suit…. I was still dealing with some things with friends. I hope the stuff there that was going on drama wise no one ever has to experience again. I never meant to make any kind of scene. I did want to make it known my feelings when I am experiencing pain emotionally or physically. I think I need to learn when to tone it back. I sometimes though need a grounding rod…. I can be emotional. I care about people…. Sometimes too much. I think I need to learn not to care AS much sometimes…. That may sound bitter, but it’s true…. I think I stretch myself too thin and then things tear at me all over and it’s hard to heal from that, or at least when you’re hurt from all over in so many places…. it can be one of those times where you’re hurting all over and snap at those trying to help soothe, even though they’re trying to help you heal if it hurts even slightly you may bite and not be meaning to cause pain to others. I truthfully am really sorry everyone. Please forgive this stupid and sometimes overly emotional wolf - hybrid…. well thing or just your average joe. I’m no one special. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I just want to be there for those I care for, and be loved / cared for in return. It’s not about constant contact. It’s not about equal reciprocation. Everyone’s different I know this. I’m definitely not the normal type of person. I sometimes question what kind of person I am. I do daily. I wonder if I’m doing things right or if I did something wrong. If I do, do something wrong I hope that someone will tell me. So that I can re-evaluate myself. So that I can FIX it. I’m not broken. I may do something wrong inadvertently because I don’t know. There’s tons I do not know. I got lots to learn about how to deal with others, and just myself. I have to worry about myself first before I can truly understand another person. Everyone of us is so complex… So many facets that make up who we are.
Hell I am an identical twin. We may be alike in many ways, but boy and how are we different. It was more the same when we lived together, but that changed when we moved out on our own and started living our own lives. I sometimes am so jealous of his life. I know he has been of my job situation and lifestyle. I have to work my @$$ off….. He has the love of his life he lives his life for… I….. well…. I don’t have that. I may not, and probably never will. I don’t know. It could happen. If I let it. That’s all on me.
I suffered a big setback in the realm of the heart, and I don’t know if or when or really if I really WANT to recover from it. I kind of waffle from time to time wondering if I should let myself be open. Do I really WISH to let someone that close…. to know the real inner me that I keep just to myself away from all prying eyes and that no one else can see. I think sometimes some people have seen through the chinks in my armor to that treasure I keep well hidden. It’s not that I can’t care for people closer than just a friendship level. I for the most part only LET it stop there. I keep things at arms length. It’s a mechanism I’ve refined and sharpened and is a well oiled machine. The upkeep is exhausting though and I think that’s why some people here and there see the inner me sometimes. I’d like to hope they like what they see. Maybe so, maybe not…. Either way that’s just how I live my life. Things are always subject to change as life is so chaotic and no one can predict anything exactly.
Ok enough on this silly philosophical and self introspection. Back to the “good stuff” right? =^.^=
The really only “down” / depressed time which I was kinda saddened and crushed by was when I was physically injured. I can’t deny though that some emotional drama happened… It seems quite the common thing among the “fandom”. I really don’t want to go into it suffice to say…. One person said something that just set me off badly. It reminded me back when in middle / high school - back during a not so fun time of my life. I felt insulted and walked away from any potential altercation. I then proceeded to try to sort out my own reaction to the situation. I think truthfully I did overreact, but the other party had no idea what they did would have set me off so bad. Unfortunately life is as it is…. I was really really hurt by this and then asked around a few people to see if I was in the “wrong” for acting or reacting like I did. Truthfully 100% of the people I asked - said the person was rude as “fuck” and I should just ignore him. I truthfully did just that. I actively ignored and avoided the person. I did make a couple twitter posts to explain the situation, but not as fully detailed as this.
After coming to terms with the situation I felt I could easily let it go, and I have currently. I wanted though to give him the opportunity to rectify and make things “right by me” as it were. I can be prideful at times, and this was one of those times. I was actively avoiding him and hated seeing a few of my friends spending time around the person. *shrugs* It wasn’t such a big deal, but with how I felt I did not want to be even near the source of what had caused me to react like that…. I didn’t want to potentially have a bad reaction again to him. It looks like this caused some tension between me and some of my actual friends…. I never meant for this really. I’m truthfully sorry for that. I hope that it hasn’t damaged anything with some that are real close to me like a certain little fox. *sighs* I feel really really bad. I also reacted a little poorly mostly due to my pride in this situation. I’m not always right. I’m not perfect…. Sometimes I need to be told I’m a “bad dog” and then be told what I can do to fix it. I will try to, depending on what it is and if I am able to…. So please bear with me…. I am sometimes inept…. I’m nowhere near 100% in the whole social graces thing. I never like to offend anyone directly or by accident, or even indirectly.
That being said this trip in it’s entirety was just…. Well I can’t find the exact word… It was just totally amazing. I will try to go again even after a tiny what I think I had was a little panic attack the last day. I was trying to avail myself of an offer from a staff member for a motorized scooter instead of the wheelchair I was using. No one really helped me at all. People were closing down shop that Sunday. I was feeling all alone, and no one could help me…. All I wanted was a little bit of help to get something that had been offered me. I wish I had said something direct after it was offered, but I was in a rush to get out of suit….. Chalk that up to experience. Next time - take it, when it’s freely offered or you won’t have access to it later, or it’ll be tricky to be given access to it since those who offered were unavailable to be contacted.
Either way after that fiasco I missed a group OFA photoshoot for Sunday. The original plan was for the roof, but some weather and rain messed that up. Plan B was for a conference room up in the penthouse area I was up there maybe once this time to hang out with a huskybutt. I wish we’d hung out more, but EF he’s always busy. Anyone who is staff is so so busy. I’m staff at TFF so I know how that goes. I just happened to chose a role that is not so hectic and don’t plan on changing any time soon.
Unfortunately plan B also got shot down. Which really sucked. Security was supposed to have been able to Sunday to give us priority. Guess no one got the memo. It happens…. Just unfortunately for me with plan C that was the most chaotic and that one led to some misconceptions and big misunderstandings all around. It was a horrible situation that left well me…. with a bad taste in my mouth. It almost made me want to just leave the con for a bit and also not ever come back…… I just couldn’t understand what was so hard and why it was so difficult to get a moto scooter to give me some better mobility than the stupid wheelchair. I mean the stupid wheelchair had deflated tires, but I was making due…. Had been since I started using it. To tell you the truth I would’ve liked to have TRIED using the moto scooter thing just for fun, but hey I was a lame duck and that was more of a reason to actually use the item right? Though everyone around me seemed to speak german german german and I couldn’t understand a word of it… Except would say Uncle Kage’s mother, and that there was one more but no one had the key….. I just shouldn’t have even tried getting the moto scooter…. It caused so many problems it seems to everyone else and caused me no end of heart ache afterwards…. No one has even apologized to me for how this grievously affected me, my mood, and quite frankly…. My overall health.
I was at con ops. I couldn’t get in touch with who offered the transportation / mobility assistance vehicle to me. I kept reaching out and it was like no one would help. I went to security as well. That’s where Yarwick went and they couldn’t help him get to either the roof or conference room. I wasn’t sure exactly how long I was in con ops. I mean I even had someone help take me there from up around my floor. He was real helpful. Quiran I think was his name. He even took my sketchbook to some artist and I gave a donation of the last of my US dollars. He is some kind of vet person I think. He was so nice….. So security wise HE gets 5stars in my books. The rest of security who likes to pass the problem to someone else can suck it. I hope they get their @$$3$ in gear and get their proverbial head out of their posterior. You help your con goers…. You don’t leave them confused, alone, and just overwhelmed. Same goes for Con Ops…. It doesn’t matter if you’re closing up shop on Sunday…. The run of the mill con attendee and quite frankly - me - your stereotypical dumb American needed some help in this foreign land of confusion. When I hear german all I hear is — Person A - “german german german ok german german german”, and that’s about it…. I can pick out some clear words sometimes…. I would be scared to go to the city alone…. I was so glad I was with others Monday like Rizzo, Tremelo, and Kokanee.
When I went to security they passed me back on to con ops. No one was there… everyone was packing up shop. It very much felt like no one really wanted to help or gave two shits about the lame hybrid who just wanted a moto scooter…. I just wish I hand’t even tried to obtain it. It would have saved me stress and hassle and wouldn’t have rattled me to the core as I was left all alone for so long with no one there helping me or checking up on the physically hurt hybrid. I reached out to some friends asking them to just come and give me some company because I was so alone as no one was around. I unfortunately was snappy because of how I was feeling just brushed aside every which way. I’m truly sorry doggies. Please forgive this wolf..... *sighs*
Animated icons
Posted 10 years agoAnyone able to suggest a good artist for animated icons? I am kinda getting a lil tired of the current one and want to get something new. I'm not fully sure what I want. So any suggestions are very welcome.
Post RF
Posted 12 years agoRainFurryest rocked!!!!!
I enjoyed the con immensely. I stayed with a couple good friends of mine. The SLIP membership was awesome. The only time I got to really leave the hotel to explore the area was Sunday, and even by myself (as there were not really many who had city passes like was given to me) I enjoyed the sights, sounds, and fun of the town.
I saw the space needle, the cool science museum, and a place called EMP which is kinda like a museum but for pop culture. I mean they had princess bride and labrynth costumes and stuff in there, and in the sci-fi section stuff from doctor who and mib. There was even a cool horror section.
Other than that, had fun fursuiting, went to room parties.... that kind of normal con thing. Got to see many old friends, met new friends I hope to keep in touch with and things of that nature! ^_^
I enjoyed the con immensely. I stayed with a couple good friends of mine. The SLIP membership was awesome. The only time I got to really leave the hotel to explore the area was Sunday, and even by myself (as there were not really many who had city passes like was given to me) I enjoyed the sights, sounds, and fun of the town.
I saw the space needle, the cool science museum, and a place called EMP which is kinda like a museum but for pop culture. I mean they had princess bride and labrynth costumes and stuff in there, and in the sci-fi section stuff from doctor who and mib. There was even a cool horror section.
Other than that, had fun fursuiting, went to room parties.... that kind of normal con thing. Got to see many old friends, met new friends I hope to keep in touch with and things of that nature! ^_^
Rainfurrest - 2013 - Who all is going?
Posted 12 years agoJust curious who all is going to RainFurrest?
I mostly am choosing to go to have fun with friends and meet up with the musical GoH. I'm going to be going out today to get a few errands done like picking up the mail, take a few things like a nice suit and tux to the dry cleaners before the convention, and likely get a haircut.
I went for the SLIP membership and it seems some of those events it'd be nice to have some nicer clothes for, and they'll look good while suiting too I might add. ;) I actually kinda wish I had gone for the VIP membership, but not sure I could've been up there the extra nights... would've really needed to potentially split the room costs if I'd done that package.
See all you there. Oh and if anyone has free room space there's a friend of mine who is needing help and would prefer something at the main hotel.
I mostly am choosing to go to have fun with friends and meet up with the musical GoH. I'm going to be going out today to get a few errands done like picking up the mail, take a few things like a nice suit and tux to the dry cleaners before the convention, and likely get a haircut.
I went for the SLIP membership and it seems some of those events it'd be nice to have some nicer clothes for, and they'll look good while suiting too I might add. ;) I actually kinda wish I had gone for the VIP membership, but not sure I could've been up there the extra nights... would've really needed to potentially split the room costs if I'd done that package.
See all you there. Oh and if anyone has free room space there's a friend of mine who is needing help and would prefer something at the main hotel.
Costumes and stuff...
Posted 12 years agoHey fuzzies...
Just got done having a wonderful dinner with someone I just met and it feels like I've known her for years and years. We clicked THAT well. I am going to be working with her for some costume stuff for some up coming conventions in general, both fur and non-fur. I am just amazed at things as she wasn't really a furry but seemed like she would be interested and I decided to delve into and showed her some pics of my fursuit and she was in stitches about the idea of things.... especially with how I love to incorporate different types of costuming together....
Like when I first started fursuiting. I incorporated renaissance gear into it... that kind of thing. Then steampunk, and tuxedos, etc. etc. etc. I love dressing up for the theme of any con I go to if I can. I get a kick out of trying to go that extra mile to match my outfit with the con.
She and I already after dinner went shoe shopping and found the perfect shoe that has the right "silhouette" for what we're looking for. So one thing down, a few others to go... We're already making progress!
I am so stocked and psyched about this project.
Just got done having a wonderful dinner with someone I just met and it feels like I've known her for years and years. We clicked THAT well. I am going to be working with her for some costume stuff for some up coming conventions in general, both fur and non-fur. I am just amazed at things as she wasn't really a furry but seemed like she would be interested and I decided to delve into and showed her some pics of my fursuit and she was in stitches about the idea of things.... especially with how I love to incorporate different types of costuming together....
Like when I first started fursuiting. I incorporated renaissance gear into it... that kind of thing. Then steampunk, and tuxedos, etc. etc. etc. I love dressing up for the theme of any con I go to if I can. I get a kick out of trying to go that extra mile to match my outfit with the con.
She and I already after dinner went shoe shopping and found the perfect shoe that has the right "silhouette" for what we're looking for. So one thing down, a few others to go... We're already making progress!
I am so stocked and psyched about this project.
Preparing for MFM
Posted 12 years agoHey guys I'll be @ MFM. I still wish I had the suit I commissioned for last year to kinda be a "surprise" for it was at this same con in 2006 that I debuted the first version of my suit. *sighs* I'm just still rather bummed about the whole situation truth be told. It's now been an entire year.... I so made it a point that this con was so important to me....
Reason being is that 2001 I nearly died getting in a car wreck with an 18wheeler. Then the attendees at closing ceremonies graciously passed a hat to get money to get us all home. That is why this con is special to me, and that is why I wanted to make sure that my first suit got it's appearance at the con.
Ever since I've been fursuiting. It hasn't felt like a con if I couldn't get into fursuit to perform or whatnot... I combined renaissance costuming and fursuiting first. Then, when I learned how to do poi, then put that into fursuiting. I may not win any dance competitions, but I love doing what I do and have made a ton of good friends along the way that I wouldn't trade for the world. I love this fandom and even though it has it's bad apples, I wouldn't trade it for the rare jewels of people that I have found and have been there when i needed it most, both near and afar.
I just look at this con and I will at least have one suit I can bring to the con... I badly wish I was bringing two, but that just never happened. Eh.... I'm gonna leave it at that.
I have a lot to look forward to at this con, and will be meeting up with a lot of good friends.
See you all there!!!
Reason being is that 2001 I nearly died getting in a car wreck with an 18wheeler. Then the attendees at closing ceremonies graciously passed a hat to get money to get us all home. That is why this con is special to me, and that is why I wanted to make sure that my first suit got it's appearance at the con.
Ever since I've been fursuiting. It hasn't felt like a con if I couldn't get into fursuit to perform or whatnot... I combined renaissance costuming and fursuiting first. Then, when I learned how to do poi, then put that into fursuiting. I may not win any dance competitions, but I love doing what I do and have made a ton of good friends along the way that I wouldn't trade for the world. I love this fandom and even though it has it's bad apples, I wouldn't trade it for the rare jewels of people that I have found and have been there when i needed it most, both near and afar.
I just look at this con and I will at least have one suit I can bring to the con... I badly wish I was bringing two, but that just never happened. Eh.... I'm gonna leave it at that.
I have a lot to look forward to at this con, and will be meeting up with a lot of good friends.
See you all there!!!
Fursuit Bowling!!!
Posted 12 years agoI actually bowled my first time in fursuit here recently! There was a local event going on and I went with Veskar and Daroh as we carpooled there. I had a ton of fun. I think Veskar overall beat out everyone.... Getting around 143 or something like that. On my second game, even keeping though I kept the paws on I broke 100 my second game.
I had a lot of fun and the people there were awesome wanting to take lots of pictures with us. I met a few artists there and other people and plan on trying to keep in touch with people. This was such a fun and pleasant experience. Something I needed after all the stress I've recently been dealing with.
I had a lot of fun and the people there were awesome wanting to take lots of pictures with us. I met a few artists there and other people and plan on trying to keep in touch with people. This was such a fun and pleasant experience. Something I needed after all the stress I've recently been dealing with.
Gotta love people and how they are and the internet...
Posted 12 years agoHow people can have such egos and think so high and mighty of themselves, that they are better than everyone else.
I have never had to use the block feature at all on my FA page ever, until I posted something showing a number of things in dealing with a fursuit builder. Then I get called a troll (after seeing someone's journal)? Funny... I haven't been, even when defending myself. You're free to have your own opinion. I love how people want to call me a liar, but am not. I pride myself on being truthful. I am not one to stretch the truth, or twist it in my favor like I've seen some try doing, even with posting my personal emails here, only little excerpts without the entirety to back it up. This isn't the place to post such things, and that is between me and the maker, regardless of what you have have been shown. I've shown a number of my friends and stuff those same emails and gotten objective opinions as well where I'm in the right.
For those of you watching this do know I have been in contact with the fursuit builder. There are both sides to this argument, and I have chat logs dating all the way back to when this was first started. I just currently do not have the time to deal with AB (Artist Beware) or anything of that nature, nor the drama fest that likely will ensue. I don't really even use LJ which it is a part of anyway. Especially after seeing all the vultures here pounce I'm less likely to go there even with all the stuff I have in my arsenal. I'd rather use it elsewhere.
I am blocking any and ALL people for negative comments in general and tired of all the rampant harassment in general. If you have nothing good to say, then don't say anything at all, use the golden rule. Treat others how you would be treated. If you all would learn not to be so childish in defending someone's side blindly without knowing both sides and everything... well the people defending me actually weren't doing bad at all, giving me a lot of positive statements, and advice, even the private messages and emails and help on how to pursue this further. I wasn't making a call out for anyone to defend me.
I had tons of people attacking me from the other party's end though... I find that rather sad. It hurts to see how quickly people jump on others like that. I guess that's the internet for you. Even when you try to do the right thing and warn others.
In this situation here, ultimately it is the customer who is right, as shown with so many people commenting about consumer/buyer protection and things of that nature. Even in an "art" related transaction. It is ultimately a business transaction and if the buyer isn't happy they have full rights on their end as well as the maker/seller. The maker messed up on my markings multiple times, missed due dates, especially the first critical one which MFM is my suit's birthday convention. He also should've been secret and not had anything posted to twitter to begin with, so the suit maker didn't properly communicate how I wished to be. I am well within my rights.
I want people to be aware I've recently received an email from the maker, though she's multiple times avoided calls and even a mediated Skype call, so rampantly avoided me... This just keeps on building and adding to my case. If the rest of you wish to help make my case easier, please go ahead. Truthfully though, once this gets fully resolved... There won't even need to be a need for AB anyway, so I don't really see the point.
I have never had to use the block feature at all on my FA page ever, until I posted something showing a number of things in dealing with a fursuit builder. Then I get called a troll (after seeing someone's journal)? Funny... I haven't been, even when defending myself. You're free to have your own opinion. I love how people want to call me a liar, but am not. I pride myself on being truthful. I am not one to stretch the truth, or twist it in my favor like I've seen some try doing, even with posting my personal emails here, only little excerpts without the entirety to back it up. This isn't the place to post such things, and that is between me and the maker, regardless of what you have have been shown. I've shown a number of my friends and stuff those same emails and gotten objective opinions as well where I'm in the right.
For those of you watching this do know I have been in contact with the fursuit builder. There are both sides to this argument, and I have chat logs dating all the way back to when this was first started. I just currently do not have the time to deal with AB (Artist Beware) or anything of that nature, nor the drama fest that likely will ensue. I don't really even use LJ which it is a part of anyway. Especially after seeing all the vultures here pounce I'm less likely to go there even with all the stuff I have in my arsenal. I'd rather use it elsewhere.
I am blocking any and ALL people for negative comments in general and tired of all the rampant harassment in general. If you have nothing good to say, then don't say anything at all, use the golden rule. Treat others how you would be treated. If you all would learn not to be so childish in defending someone's side blindly without knowing both sides and everything... well the people defending me actually weren't doing bad at all, giving me a lot of positive statements, and advice, even the private messages and emails and help on how to pursue this further. I wasn't making a call out for anyone to defend me.
I had tons of people attacking me from the other party's end though... I find that rather sad. It hurts to see how quickly people jump on others like that. I guess that's the internet for you. Even when you try to do the right thing and warn others.
In this situation here, ultimately it is the customer who is right, as shown with so many people commenting about consumer/buyer protection and things of that nature. Even in an "art" related transaction. It is ultimately a business transaction and if the buyer isn't happy they have full rights on their end as well as the maker/seller. The maker messed up on my markings multiple times, missed due dates, especially the first critical one which MFM is my suit's birthday convention. He also should've been secret and not had anything posted to twitter to begin with, so the suit maker didn't properly communicate how I wished to be. I am well within my rights.
I want people to be aware I've recently received an email from the maker, though she's multiple times avoided calls and even a mediated Skype call, so rampantly avoided me... This just keeps on building and adding to my case. If the rest of you wish to help make my case easier, please go ahead. Truthfully though, once this gets fully resolved... There won't even need to be a need for AB anyway, so I don't really see the point.
CoC - Needs Revision
Posted 12 years agoA recent journal was taken down of mine, that they claim violates CoC. I thought about putting another up, but deciding not to. I'd rather not further instigate stuff here on FA. I think that this policy needs revision. The whole journal system in some regards can and should be able to take the place of someone having to have say a livejournal account or something like that. People should be able to vent how they wish to and things of that nature. I would highly suggest that people petition to have this looked at and revised.
Now about that journal with that fursuiter NOT to go to just got taken down, but fear not... I plan on posting it with revisions, but not violate the CoC. I hope that people in commends do not violate this, or I will hide commends and block them from my page. I have never had to do this, but now have started to and will do so if I feel that I am being persecuted and such. Though bet other people will come to the fursuit maker's "rescue" like before. I got all I really needed... I got shown that a lot of people, that weren't really even friends who came out of the woodworks for me, people that were not friends to me at all at the time.
I want to just give a brief "THANK YOU" to all of you for your support. You helped me out immensely as that entire thing was so stressful and just downright painful to deal with. This situation is, but I am getting it taken care of. Since it seems I have no other course of action I will going through with plans after speaking with people like my paralegal and such.
I understand with a lot of it there were many comments after I toned out my "calling out" bit with names. There were too many of the trolling people who were dropping information I had sent in private emails which I wouldn't really have allowed myself and I ended up having to block people who couldn't understand things from a customer perspective and how I was trying to protect myself as a customer.
There was one person who made multiple accounts to try to avoid being banned. That is absolutely ludicrous. I love how people want to think that "I" am a bad customer, where on the other end I was being rudely and poorly treated as a customer, and all because I tried "helping" in some regards, because I felt as a friend I could tell her what was up and how to improve her customer service as I come from a background in marketing.
All in all I'm happy with the outcome, even with the journal being down... It teaches me what I need to do to improve my journal for next time.
Now about that journal with that fursuiter NOT to go to just got taken down, but fear not... I plan on posting it with revisions, but not violate the CoC. I hope that people in commends do not violate this, or I will hide commends and block them from my page. I have never had to do this, but now have started to and will do so if I feel that I am being persecuted and such. Though bet other people will come to the fursuit maker's "rescue" like before. I got all I really needed... I got shown that a lot of people, that weren't really even friends who came out of the woodworks for me, people that were not friends to me at all at the time.
I want to just give a brief "THANK YOU" to all of you for your support. You helped me out immensely as that entire thing was so stressful and just downright painful to deal with. This situation is, but I am getting it taken care of. Since it seems I have no other course of action I will going through with plans after speaking with people like my paralegal and such.
I understand with a lot of it there were many comments after I toned out my "calling out" bit with names. There were too many of the trolling people who were dropping information I had sent in private emails which I wouldn't really have allowed myself and I ended up having to block people who couldn't understand things from a customer perspective and how I was trying to protect myself as a customer.
There was one person who made multiple accounts to try to avoid being banned. That is absolutely ludicrous. I love how people want to think that "I" am a bad customer, where on the other end I was being rudely and poorly treated as a customer, and all because I tried "helping" in some regards, because I felt as a friend I could tell her what was up and how to improve her customer service as I come from a background in marketing.
All in all I'm happy with the outcome, even with the journal being down... It teaches me what I need to do to improve my journal for next time.
Well I know what it's like to be trolled...
Posted 12 years agoNever before in my life have I been attacked like this or harassed. I have filed now a couple tickets with FA site admins. I even contacted the site owner.... This kind of thing can't be tolerated... I do not deserve to be a punching bag for standing up for what is right and just here.
In regards to my prior journal
Posted 12 years agoHey folks,
Just in case if FA or anyone has problems with this. The prior journal will likely be cross posted to Artist Beware on LJ. If she wants to think I'm not telling the whole story on my experience with her... I will make sure to be including screen caps and IM chat logs to go along with as major proof of how I was mistreated by the fursuit builder I was working with, who essentially has cheated me out of my money not providing my full product and things of that nature.
I've been contacted by others and know I'm not the only one she's done this kind of treatment to, at least one person got NOTHING from her, so this is absolutely wrong with how she is going about things. Had she really tried working with me as a customer it would not have gotten to this point.
I will not rest until things are taken care of properly and to MY the customer's satisfaction. I have legal courses I will likely pursue, but that all remains up to her if I go through and pursue those routes... I'd prefer not to, and take care of this in a nice and civil fashion, but if not... I will make sure to take care of things and show that the customer can not be abused as she has towards me.
Sincerely,
Khyle
Just in case if FA or anyone has problems with this. The prior journal will likely be cross posted to Artist Beware on LJ. If she wants to think I'm not telling the whole story on my experience with her... I will make sure to be including screen caps and IM chat logs to go along with as major proof of how I was mistreated by the fursuit builder I was working with, who essentially has cheated me out of my money not providing my full product and things of that nature.
I've been contacted by others and know I'm not the only one she's done this kind of treatment to, at least one person got NOTHING from her, so this is absolutely wrong with how she is going about things. Had she really tried working with me as a customer it would not have gotten to this point.
I will not rest until things are taken care of properly and to MY the customer's satisfaction. I have legal courses I will likely pursue, but that all remains up to her if I go through and pursue those routes... I'd prefer not to, and take care of this in a nice and civil fashion, but if not... I will make sure to take care of things and show that the customer can not be abused as she has towards me.
Sincerely,
Khyle
Rainfurrest 2013 - Anyone got room space?
Posted 12 years agoHey people I need some help.
I had some rooming arrangements that didn't pan out and am looking for a room in the main hotel as I am a fursuiter. Does anyone out there know anyone with room space for me? I already got plane tickets and pre-reg'd, just need the crash space now.
EDIT: Hey I got things sorted! Quickly too I might add! ^_^ Totally unexpected as well. I am so floored beyond words.
I had some rooming arrangements that didn't pan out and am looking for a room in the main hotel as I am a fursuiter. Does anyone out there know anyone with room space for me? I already got plane tickets and pre-reg'd, just need the crash space now.
EDIT: Hey I got things sorted! Quickly too I might add! ^_^ Totally unexpected as well. I am so floored beyond words.
Fursuit Convention Do's / Don'ts
Posted 13 years agoLet's start with what not to do...
DON'T:
Roughhouse / tackle / in general don't be rough with me, fursuits are expensive.
Yank on my tail... That's kind of a no brainer.
Grind/grope on me in public... That's very frowned upon.
DO:
Take pictures of me. (Just be sure to notify me prior to for best photo ops) And please share them! ^_^
Hug me.
Pet me gently.
Talk to me.
Include me in silliness and general tomfoolery!
Invite me to parties! I love being social!
DON'T:
Roughhouse / tackle / in general don't be rough with me, fursuits are expensive.
Yank on my tail... That's kind of a no brainer.
Grind/grope on me in public... That's very frowned upon.
DO:
Take pictures of me. (Just be sure to notify me prior to for best photo ops) And please share them! ^_^
Hug me.
Pet me gently.
Talk to me.
Include me in silliness and general tomfoolery!
Invite me to parties! I love being social!
FA Fursuit Pic Nazi's On A Rampage...
Posted 13 years agoHey guys/gals beware,
Seems FA admins are once again getting stricter on fursuit pic uploads. I have a few that have my wolf fursuit wearing a thong. Nothing all that bad in my opinion. Got a note that the file was removed as it didn't meet the AUP.
The pic in particular that got taken down was me while in fursuit, spinning poi, in a thong, at a dance at night at a convention. It was uploaded years ago and I can't even remember what I put the rating on it because it was quite a while back that I uploaded the pic. Usually I put general as for all intents and purposes it's tame and general audience.
In my opinion there really shouldn't be anything wrong with this as the fursuit is not modified. Yes a thong is 'sexy' but not in my opinion something that warrants being removed. So beware of posting any sexy fursuit pics even if nothing is showing or even if it isn't really an adult situation.
I think the AUP on photos needs to be revisited and revised, but that's me. I'd also really appreciate if something is going to be taken down prior warning so that the individual can remove / edit the file instead of just automatically being taken down.
I'm not even sure if I have a backup of said file. This is total BS.
Here is the message I received...
" Submission removal: Fire spinning... without the fire!!!
Sent By: ramsaybaggins to khyle On: June 23rd, 2012 08:02
khyle,
I regret to inform you that your submission has been removed as it violates the AUP in terms of photography. Photographs must be correctly rated general and suitable for all ages. If you wish to share such photos, we suggest you upload them to a third party hosting site such as imageshack or photobucket and link them via journal.
"Photographic work must be suitable for all ages, and submissions MAY NOT be rated higher than General. Photography involving mature or adult situations or illicit activity are not allowed. This includes images containing nudity, sex toys, sexually modified plushies or fursuits (where modifications are visible or obvious), gore (blood, wounds, death) or alluding to illegal activity. Uploading adult or pornographic photography may result in an automatic suspension."
-FA Administration "
I say again this hypocrisy needs to be fixed. I hope people raise hell with this to get things changed.
Seems FA admins are once again getting stricter on fursuit pic uploads. I have a few that have my wolf fursuit wearing a thong. Nothing all that bad in my opinion. Got a note that the file was removed as it didn't meet the AUP.
The pic in particular that got taken down was me while in fursuit, spinning poi, in a thong, at a dance at night at a convention. It was uploaded years ago and I can't even remember what I put the rating on it because it was quite a while back that I uploaded the pic. Usually I put general as for all intents and purposes it's tame and general audience.
In my opinion there really shouldn't be anything wrong with this as the fursuit is not modified. Yes a thong is 'sexy' but not in my opinion something that warrants being removed. So beware of posting any sexy fursuit pics even if nothing is showing or even if it isn't really an adult situation.
I think the AUP on photos needs to be revisited and revised, but that's me. I'd also really appreciate if something is going to be taken down prior warning so that the individual can remove / edit the file instead of just automatically being taken down.
I'm not even sure if I have a backup of said file. This is total BS.
Here is the message I received...
" Submission removal: Fire spinning... without the fire!!!
Sent By: ramsaybaggins to khyle On: June 23rd, 2012 08:02
khyle,
I regret to inform you that your submission has been removed as it violates the AUP in terms of photography. Photographs must be correctly rated general and suitable for all ages. If you wish to share such photos, we suggest you upload them to a third party hosting site such as imageshack or photobucket and link them via journal.
"Photographic work must be suitable for all ages, and submissions MAY NOT be rated higher than General. Photography involving mature or adult situations or illicit activity are not allowed. This includes images containing nudity, sex toys, sexually modified plushies or fursuits (where modifications are visible or obvious), gore (blood, wounds, death) or alluding to illegal activity. Uploading adult or pornographic photography may result in an automatic suspension."
-FA Administration "
I say again this hypocrisy needs to be fixed. I hope people raise hell with this to get things changed.
Sorry I don't use this journal really
Posted 14 years agoSorry I don't really use this journal. I haven't really updated my LiveJournal in quite some time either. Just not really felt much like updating or talking about me. Not much to really say really. I need to post more art here and pictures in general.
Hope all of you are well though. May life be filled with smooth paths and not too many up-hill battles.
Hope all of you are well though. May life be filled with smooth paths and not too many up-hill battles.
I have returned...
Posted 14 years agoFrom Wild Nights...
I definitely thought I wasn't going to be able to go, but thankfully with the help of my direct supervisor and one other, and working with our scheduling people I was able to get Saturday off, because that was the day that I was not being given off for going to the convention. I had been approved for Sunday/Monday but that wasn't good enough I had to have Saturday or else the trip would've been a bust.
So yea, the convention...
Truthfully it could have been better. It is an outdoor convention and the weather was very dreary and rainy (off/on) the entire convention. Still regardless it was fun being with friends and all. Met new people, made new acquaintances, hopefully new friends and all. Will have to see how things go.
I was in a couple variety show skits and think overall the variety show went fairly well. I see definite areas of improvement on how things could be managed and properly rehearsed... Had some A/V issues and a couple other things... Other than that it went over fairly well.
The only annoying thing was the flooding that happened Sunday. Since things were so dreary I was deciding to come back home on Sunday, but didn't get to because of a storm that rolled in. It's good a lot of other people left earlier in the day or right before the storm hit. I hope all made it home ok. I did today.
The only annoying thing after getting back home is that right before I left Thursday for the con my XBoX360 worked, and now it doesn't... Power cord has a red light on it and the stupid thing won't turn on... I hope it didn't go bad... Will hafta try another power cord and such.
In any case, hope you all are doing well!
I definitely thought I wasn't going to be able to go, but thankfully with the help of my direct supervisor and one other, and working with our scheduling people I was able to get Saturday off, because that was the day that I was not being given off for going to the convention. I had been approved for Sunday/Monday but that wasn't good enough I had to have Saturday or else the trip would've been a bust.
So yea, the convention...
Truthfully it could have been better. It is an outdoor convention and the weather was very dreary and rainy (off/on) the entire convention. Still regardless it was fun being with friends and all. Met new people, made new acquaintances, hopefully new friends and all. Will have to see how things go.
I was in a couple variety show skits and think overall the variety show went fairly well. I see definite areas of improvement on how things could be managed and properly rehearsed... Had some A/V issues and a couple other things... Other than that it went over fairly well.
The only annoying thing was the flooding that happened Sunday. Since things were so dreary I was deciding to come back home on Sunday, but didn't get to because of a storm that rolled in. It's good a lot of other people left earlier in the day or right before the storm hit. I hope all made it home ok. I did today.
The only annoying thing after getting back home is that right before I left Thursday for the con my XBoX360 worked, and now it doesn't... Power cord has a red light on it and the stupid thing won't turn on... I hope it didn't go bad... Will hafta try another power cord and such.
In any case, hope you all are doing well!
Wild Nights
Posted 14 years agoSo far as it stands...
I don't know if I am going to be there. My work place just changed shifts and now we are on monthly schedules instead of the normal shift bid being for a 3month period. I am also one of the few part timers here at the call center.
I went to part time to finish school and stayed part time due to all the mandatory OT that was going on. The great thing was I kept my benefits! (Especially since I was full time before going to part time) I since had been working every week after finishing my degree roughly 39.5hrs. My work place loves to scathe the legal limits of full/part time...
They've changed my schedule and on top of that how I get or accrue vacation is different how it was normally. At the beginning of the year I had 0hrs of vacation to use... So for FC I actually had to call in sick. Furry Fiesta, the Friday of the con I had to work, even though I would have liked to have used ONE vacation day. The recent convention All Con, same thing... Wanted Friday of the convention off but the vacation system showed 0hrs available...
I was trying to see if I could go to Wild Nights and was having the same kind of problem, but also my new schedule doesn't have me with weekends off. I work now ON weekends... Fancy that... I will though take advantage of this situation and look at it as an opportunity to get my master's degree and go higher maybe within my current company or elsewhere.
I don't know if I am going to be there. My work place just changed shifts and now we are on monthly schedules instead of the normal shift bid being for a 3month period. I am also one of the few part timers here at the call center.
I went to part time to finish school and stayed part time due to all the mandatory OT that was going on. The great thing was I kept my benefits! (Especially since I was full time before going to part time) I since had been working every week after finishing my degree roughly 39.5hrs. My work place loves to scathe the legal limits of full/part time...
They've changed my schedule and on top of that how I get or accrue vacation is different how it was normally. At the beginning of the year I had 0hrs of vacation to use... So for FC I actually had to call in sick. Furry Fiesta, the Friday of the con I had to work, even though I would have liked to have used ONE vacation day. The recent convention All Con, same thing... Wanted Friday of the convention off but the vacation system showed 0hrs available...
I was trying to see if I could go to Wild Nights and was having the same kind of problem, but also my new schedule doesn't have me with weekends off. I work now ON weekends... Fancy that... I will though take advantage of this situation and look at it as an opportunity to get my master's degree and go higher maybe within my current company or elsewhere.
On the subject of gift art...
Posted 14 years agoIf anyone wants to draw Khyle in any sort of gift art, or gift of music or any type of gift type art in general it is most appreciated.
Please note me first before it is any kind of sexual encounter. I usually am not fond of that sort of thing. Now tasteful nudity is something different like -- http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5542195 . Most likely though I'd rather something PG - PG 13 rated if you know what I mean. Even suggestive, and possibly R, but... I more prefer sexy without having to just show everything...
Khyle at first was more of a character that turned into a personal fursona in some regards. He switches... He has a large background story, but I don't play up on that much and I won't bore you with. :-P
All over my page you can find art of him and of his fursuit. His reference pic done by
dook --http://www.furaffinity.net/view/97526/ is o of the best things to go off of. The tattoo is located his left shoulder btw. It means "control" in the ancient language of his background story. He can use magic.
I especially would love some glow stick / fire spinning pictures!
Other stuff about the character He is adept at most weapons as was training to be a "holy knight" of sorts or "super soldier". So have fun with any / all of that.
So if you really wish to do gift art, please feel free.
Oh and thanks in advance!
Please note me first before it is any kind of sexual encounter. I usually am not fond of that sort of thing. Now tasteful nudity is something different like -- http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5542195 . Most likely though I'd rather something PG - PG 13 rated if you know what I mean. Even suggestive, and possibly R, but... I more prefer sexy without having to just show everything...
Khyle at first was more of a character that turned into a personal fursona in some regards. He switches... He has a large background story, but I don't play up on that much and I won't bore you with. :-P
All over my page you can find art of him and of his fursuit. His reference pic done by
dook --http://www.furaffinity.net/view/97526/ is o of the best things to go off of. The tattoo is located his left shoulder btw. It means "control" in the ancient language of his background story. He can use magic. I especially would love some glow stick / fire spinning pictures!
Other stuff about the character He is adept at most weapons as was training to be a "holy knight" of sorts or "super soldier". So have fun with any / all of that.
So if you really wish to do gift art, please feel free.
Oh and thanks in advance!
Getting Rid Of Negative Influences In My Life...
Posted 14 years agoFelt like posting this here as 
calgor has removed me from his LJ friend's list. I'm sorry for the drama guys... I just can't really take this kind of emotional crap and dealing with this kind of childish avoidant behavior which has become so rampant lately... If you can't face a problem directly people run from it or do passive-aggressive stuff... That being said... Here is my recent LJ journal entry which I made completely public.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently have just been dealing with quite a bit here. I will be quite honest... I had a bit of a break down. Just been dealing with burdens of the past with family, past relationships, current dealings and possible relationships... friendships, and a number of other things... Burdens that have always been there, but beforehand I was easily able to deal with because of all the "Emotional Armor" I wore. One day though after a recent convention "Furry Fiesta" it seemed I woke up without all that Armor and Mask(s) that I hid behind... Like I grabbed a bit of lightning and was zipping by through life at high speed! All throughout knowing that it was probably a bad thing and that there would be a crash at the end... All very cognizant of what was going on.
It's just been very hard. I was getting irritable at the slightest of things done by others, little snide comments or anything of the like that I'd normally shrug off I just wasn't dealing with all that well. Anything small was like a hill, or bigger than it should be... Basically I look at it as my emotional 'ARMOR' if you will cracking and crumbling. How I'd normally dealt with things and compartmentalized my feelings or how I'd act towards people was breaking down as well.
People had been so used to seeing me only while wearing my 'ARMOR' that, THAT was who they thought I was, and not the person who essentially 'hid' underneath that armor. I hid for a few reasons...
1. To not hurt others. I kept a lot of people at arms length so as not to let them be hurt, but also not let them so close as to be hurt in return. I would only let the hurt affect me 'so' much if ever hurt by someone and such, but I think I did let it hurt me more than I really let on, even to myself.
2. It's always easier to hide where you feel 'safe and secure'... Your 'happy place' if you will.
3. This wasn't for hiding, but how I dealt with situations... Only letting some friendships get 'so' far... drawing as it were a 'line in the sand' and if someone couldn't meet me at that level then the level of friendship would stay at whatever level it had gotten to... be it acquaintance, friendship, close friendship, etc.
I have been told by people that in all truthfulness things with "ME" are fine, though I don't always see it that way. I always look at as there are always things to improve upon. Like health wise, working out, things like that. Here lately though people have been telling me I need to stop and slow down some.
Recently was at Furry Fiesta, and after that con I think I woke up one morning, didn't put on the layers of emotional armor I put on usually to deal with people or keep things at a distance and just began running full tilt non stop. It's been fun, but unfortunately crashes have happened.
I am not going to go into any details, except for those who are already in the know personally both locally and long distance about what I've been dealing with. Suffice to say I have been through therapy or am still going through therapy. Have seen a MD Psychiatrist and all. Have had some good counseling and all. I've also been learning to "slow down" as well.
Mostly my meter was busted... How I'd deal with a situation. Usually on a 10point scale something that would have usually been a 2, was like a 7 or 8 usually. Sometimes I'd dial things to 10, or past 10 depending on how pissed I got. Things are way better now. At least I didn't have to be admitted to the In-Patient ward of a hospital. I am not gonna go into all that I went through therapy wise. Things are better now, but still recovering.
I'm leaving this open to all friends to see... I will not hide it behind filters, but know this that there are filters, and certain people will not be privy to my inner most thoughts. Besides I hardly post to this journal any way and have really wondered about keeping this journal.
Some other things to note of getting rid of negative influences...
1. Got rid of a large green towel that I had kept from calgor leaving and had been using as the towel I'd dry off with. Just keeping it around.
2. Two bottles of some kind of shampoo/conditioner (I believe the brand is called Timotea) for the same above reason, left behind.
3. Sold the black swept hilt rapier to a friend because I just couldn't bear keeping it in my apartment as a reminder.
4. I've been trying to decide what to do with a piece of art I have in my sketchbook (from
blotch dealing with me and said feline... I don't know yet. *shrugs*
5. There have been other things I've contemplated like some things with a piece of artwork of myself and hydra_velsen as well.
I've been able to keep usually good relations with past relationships... These two obviously not so. Some has been me, most has been on them. I mean even
celyddon and I have been good friends... strained at times, but still good. Something I'd like for others like Calgor and Hydra to be like... But face it you can't always be good friends with ex's right? Wishful thinking at best.
Calgor though, I thought much better of, and the childishness on both our sides has just been so... Lets just say it hasn't done me a lot of good emotionally. Hydra I never was so distraught over. I've wanted things to be that whole "Soul Mate" thing I mentioned about in previous journal posts as Calgor said those words after we broke up not I... That he felt we were still on that level, but I think it was just caught up with the emotion of the time... It never was to be like that afterwards though. He's never been there ever for me... So that in and of itself tells a lot... Yea he's not here locally, but I would've given up so much for him... For example.... I wouldn't have my Honda Insight (which I paid off in a year... where he said he couldn't be here because he had to pay off a car note which would take 3/4yrs.) This relationship (or lack thereof) I probably should have ended earlier on now that I think about it... due to the having to wait 3/4yrs. for him to come to the US. Especially from what
teiran said about that situation, and that we aren't really friends. That If he really wanted to be here, the car didn't matter or shouldn't have. *shrugs* That's just hindsight looking back at it... He hasn't been much of a friend to any of us over here on the U.S. like my brother dook who says he's a fair-weather friend which is quite right in my opinion.
I just don't think he he really wanted to leave... I personally think I shouldn't have gotten with Hydra either, or given him a second chance... He showed me he cared more about Second Life than an actual relationship. He even wrote a journal post wishing he could change 2005. I do not know what he is up to, or what he does for a living, and quite frankly I couldn't care less... His career and everything else was way more important. He moved to Virginia for something with SL with DJ Genki, instead of being with me... That told me all I needed to know then, and still I let myself be walked over...
I'm done being walked over. Done being quiet and just letting things slide. I plan on being more active in general.
I've got my own burdens to bear, with family and everything else. A lot of things I am not going to go into. I've got a real big WHITE KNIGHT COMPLEX where I take on others' burdens on top of my own... Take the bullet for people as it were. I am a fighter. I did all this and I finally broke down... I still was worrying about others, even as I was and still am broken.
I have my friend teiran to really thank for a lot he has done for me. He helped take me by the hand to the doctor, the emergency room, and to the MD Psychiatrist and all I've been working with. Now I just have to deal with work and short term disability leave and FMLA. Other than those pains I've been dealing with getting my apartment straightened out which it hasn't been in a long while. My current roomie will be pulling his fair share better and will not be living like we had previously. I can't wait for us to move into a 2bedroom 2bath apartment near the duck pond, been in a 2bed 1bathroom currently.
In the end all will be well. I will be better for everyone. This broken knight is learning how much armor is really needed, re-learning himself and it's a long journey ahead for myself. Just please don't leave me... I need the support, even if I don't ask... Actually I didn't ask for help from my friends... They saw and felt something was happening and came to MY rescue... I can't thank you all enough...
THANK YOU!
You are all loved and I still can't express my gratitude for the help, just still dealing with me is still hard, but thank you.
calgor has removed me from his LJ friend's list. I'm sorry for the drama guys... I just can't really take this kind of emotional crap and dealing with this kind of childish avoidant behavior which has become so rampant lately... If you can't face a problem directly people run from it or do passive-aggressive stuff... That being said... Here is my recent LJ journal entry which I made completely public.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently have just been dealing with quite a bit here. I will be quite honest... I had a bit of a break down. Just been dealing with burdens of the past with family, past relationships, current dealings and possible relationships... friendships, and a number of other things... Burdens that have always been there, but beforehand I was easily able to deal with because of all the "Emotional Armor" I wore. One day though after a recent convention "Furry Fiesta" it seemed I woke up without all that Armor and Mask(s) that I hid behind... Like I grabbed a bit of lightning and was zipping by through life at high speed! All throughout knowing that it was probably a bad thing and that there would be a crash at the end... All very cognizant of what was going on.
It's just been very hard. I was getting irritable at the slightest of things done by others, little snide comments or anything of the like that I'd normally shrug off I just wasn't dealing with all that well. Anything small was like a hill, or bigger than it should be... Basically I look at it as my emotional 'ARMOR' if you will cracking and crumbling. How I'd normally dealt with things and compartmentalized my feelings or how I'd act towards people was breaking down as well.
People had been so used to seeing me only while wearing my 'ARMOR' that, THAT was who they thought I was, and not the person who essentially 'hid' underneath that armor. I hid for a few reasons...
1. To not hurt others. I kept a lot of people at arms length so as not to let them be hurt, but also not let them so close as to be hurt in return. I would only let the hurt affect me 'so' much if ever hurt by someone and such, but I think I did let it hurt me more than I really let on, even to myself.
2. It's always easier to hide where you feel 'safe and secure'... Your 'happy place' if you will.
3. This wasn't for hiding, but how I dealt with situations... Only letting some friendships get 'so' far... drawing as it were a 'line in the sand' and if someone couldn't meet me at that level then the level of friendship would stay at whatever level it had gotten to... be it acquaintance, friendship, close friendship, etc.
I have been told by people that in all truthfulness things with "ME" are fine, though I don't always see it that way. I always look at as there are always things to improve upon. Like health wise, working out, things like that. Here lately though people have been telling me I need to stop and slow down some.
Recently was at Furry Fiesta, and after that con I think I woke up one morning, didn't put on the layers of emotional armor I put on usually to deal with people or keep things at a distance and just began running full tilt non stop. It's been fun, but unfortunately crashes have happened.
I am not going to go into any details, except for those who are already in the know personally both locally and long distance about what I've been dealing with. Suffice to say I have been through therapy or am still going through therapy. Have seen a MD Psychiatrist and all. Have had some good counseling and all. I've also been learning to "slow down" as well.
Mostly my meter was busted... How I'd deal with a situation. Usually on a 10point scale something that would have usually been a 2, was like a 7 or 8 usually. Sometimes I'd dial things to 10, or past 10 depending on how pissed I got. Things are way better now. At least I didn't have to be admitted to the In-Patient ward of a hospital. I am not gonna go into all that I went through therapy wise. Things are better now, but still recovering.
I'm leaving this open to all friends to see... I will not hide it behind filters, but know this that there are filters, and certain people will not be privy to my inner most thoughts. Besides I hardly post to this journal any way and have really wondered about keeping this journal.
Some other things to note of getting rid of negative influences...
1. Got rid of a large green towel that I had kept from
calgor leaving and had been using as the towel I'd dry off with. Just keeping it around.2. Two bottles of some kind of shampoo/conditioner (I believe the brand is called Timotea) for the same above reason, left behind.
3. Sold the black swept hilt rapier to a friend because I just couldn't bear keeping it in my apartment as a reminder.
4. I've been trying to decide what to do with a piece of art I have in my sketchbook (from
blotch dealing with me and said feline... I don't know yet. *shrugs*5. There have been other things I've contemplated like some things with a piece of artwork of myself and hydra_velsen as well.
I've been able to keep usually good relations with past relationships... These two obviously not so. Some has been me, most has been on them. I mean even
celyddon and I have been good friends... strained at times, but still good. Something I'd like for others like Calgor and Hydra to be like... But face it you can't always be good friends with ex's right? Wishful thinking at best.Calgor though, I thought much better of, and the childishness on both our sides has just been so... Lets just say it hasn't done me a lot of good emotionally. Hydra I never was so distraught over. I've wanted things to be that whole "Soul Mate" thing I mentioned about in previous journal posts as Calgor said those words after we broke up not I... That he felt we were still on that level, but I think it was just caught up with the emotion of the time... It never was to be like that afterwards though. He's never been there ever for me... So that in and of itself tells a lot... Yea he's not here locally, but I would've given up so much for him... For example.... I wouldn't have my Honda Insight (which I paid off in a year... where he said he couldn't be here because he had to pay off a car note which would take 3/4yrs.) This relationship (or lack thereof) I probably should have ended earlier on now that I think about it... due to the having to wait 3/4yrs. for him to come to the US. Especially from what
teiran said about that situation, and that we aren't really friends. That If he really wanted to be here, the car didn't matter or shouldn't have. *shrugs* That's just hindsight looking back at it... He hasn't been much of a friend to any of us over here on the U.S. like my brother dook who says he's a fair-weather friend which is quite right in my opinion.I just don't think he he really wanted to leave... I personally think I shouldn't have gotten with Hydra either, or given him a second chance... He showed me he cared more about Second Life than an actual relationship. He even wrote a journal post wishing he could change 2005. I do not know what he is up to, or what he does for a living, and quite frankly I couldn't care less... His career and everything else was way more important. He moved to Virginia for something with SL with DJ Genki, instead of being with me... That told me all I needed to know then, and still I let myself be walked over...
I'm done being walked over. Done being quiet and just letting things slide. I plan on being more active in general.
I've got my own burdens to bear, with family and everything else. A lot of things I am not going to go into. I've got a real big WHITE KNIGHT COMPLEX where I take on others' burdens on top of my own... Take the bullet for people as it were. I am a fighter. I did all this and I finally broke down... I still was worrying about others, even as I was and still am broken.
I have my friend
teiran to really thank for a lot he has done for me. He helped take me by the hand to the doctor, the emergency room, and to the MD Psychiatrist and all I've been working with. Now I just have to deal with work and short term disability leave and FMLA. Other than those pains I've been dealing with getting my apartment straightened out which it hasn't been in a long while. My current roomie will be pulling his fair share better and will not be living like we had previously. I can't wait for us to move into a 2bedroom 2bath apartment near the duck pond, been in a 2bed 1bathroom currently.In the end all will be well. I will be better for everyone. This broken knight is learning how much armor is really needed, re-learning himself and it's a long journey ahead for myself. Just please don't leave me... I need the support, even if I don't ask... Actually I didn't ask for help from my friends... They saw and felt something was happening and came to MY rescue... I can't thank you all enough...
THANK YOU!
You are all loved and I still can't express my gratitude for the help, just still dealing with me is still hard, but thank you.
Furry Fiesta Highlights!
Posted 14 years agoEnought about the new fursuit I have. I only did little with him at the con. He's pretty and all. I want to do things like this with him while in suit....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwzFaeBudcg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx6PWYQwssM
Vids taken by
professorfennec
Thank you so very much. Still sifting through submissions since FA came back up and all. Enjoy everyone!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwzFaeBudcg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx6PWYQwssM
Vids taken by
professorfennecThank you so very much. Still sifting through submissions since FA came back up and all. Enjoy everyone!
Well... I guess the 'cat' is out of the bag...
Posted 14 years agoOr at least 'half-feline' is out anyway and half wolf for that matter. I was actually rather hoping to keep the news quiet... But I was at Furry Fiesta and unfortunately, though this is major kudos to my friends that actually figured it out... ;) So yea... I had this new suit sent to me by 
scribblefox / 
onefurall . It was of my character 
iantogwynt . So yes... I have a new suit. ^_^ I am so happy with how it has turned out. For more info/pix/etc. Check out that FA account. I like the new character, love the fursuit... but I also plan on getting a revamp of my current suit... At some point.
By the way total kudos to Furry Fiesta... It was a totally awesome convention. I hope that it continues growing. Though I really enjoy how it is currently with the social aspect and being able to hang with friends, really be able to get to know people like smaller cons. It may eventually not be like that and get to bigger convention status... Till then though I plan on enjoying it as it is and as the con grows. I hope that this con continues staying around.
I may give a full con report later of more finer details.
All I have to say is that it was enjoyable and quite a fun. The anonymity at first was nice though... I on the fly figured out a few interesting things but all that about the character will be detailed on that account. :)
scribblefox / 
onefurall . It was of my character 
iantogwynt . So yes... I have a new suit. ^_^ I am so happy with how it has turned out. For more info/pix/etc. Check out that FA account. I like the new character, love the fursuit... but I also plan on getting a revamp of my current suit... At some point. By the way total kudos to Furry Fiesta... It was a totally awesome convention. I hope that it continues growing. Though I really enjoy how it is currently with the social aspect and being able to hang with friends, really be able to get to know people like smaller cons. It may eventually not be like that and get to bigger convention status... Till then though I plan on enjoying it as it is and as the con grows. I hope that this con continues staying around.
I may give a full con report later of more finer details.
All I have to say is that it was enjoyable and quite a fun. The anonymity at first was nice though... I on the fly figured out a few interesting things but all that about the character will be detailed on that account. :)
Another year older...
Posted 14 years agoAnother year wiser and all that. Haven't posted here in forever to this journal and my LJ I have't either. Hope all of you are well. I had a fun time seeing Cirque Du Soleil as a kind of bday gathering of sorts. Didn't plan any big party... kinda chilling really.
Helped Furry Fiesta with stuffing bags.
I also wanted to say thanks here and appreciate all the nice birthday wishes. You all rock! *hugs*
Helped Furry Fiesta with stuffing bags.
I also wanted to say thanks here and appreciate all the nice birthday wishes. You all rock! *hugs*
Happy Holidays and Year's End!
Posted 15 years agoWell I hope that everyone has had a wonderful holiday season. Doesn't matter your creed or whatnot, just enjoy time with those you care about be it family or friends. The new year is almost upon us. Hope that it will be better than the previous one. I wish you all the best!
Remember remember... the 5th of Novemember...
Posted 15 years agoThe gunpowder treason and plot...
I see no reason the gunpowder treason...
Should ever be forgot...
Happy Guy Fawkes Day to my British friends out there!
I will celebrate along with you by watching V for Vendetta with some friends this evening!
I see no reason the gunpowder treason...
Should ever be forgot...
Happy Guy Fawkes Day to my British friends out there!
I will celebrate along with you by watching V for Vendetta with some friends this evening!
