My heart is too open. My love is too pure. My eyes are closed and locked, and my mouth only talks of sweet nothings. My hands say, "Hold me," but my mind strays to, "Kiss me."

When you love someone, you love them with everything you are. You give them every benefit of the doubt. You tell them they are the most amazing person on the face of the earth. You tell them that you love them constantly. You never doubt them, you never say hateful words towards them.

When you love someone, you want to give them your all. Everything that you can do, you do. Be it, skip school! Heh, don't you just love life?

Here I am at 2:18am, and I'm wondering what the fuck went through my mind when he came back. He came back. I was happy, and excited, and just plain ole' me. It felt amazing to hear those words of love come out of his mouth. It was amazing to see his eyes looking at me when he said those words. It felt amazing when he hugged me that first day. It felt amazing when our lips touched. Every second, it felt just amazing.

I took him back after the second break up. I took him back without a double thought in my mind. I took him back without rules and regulations. I took him back because I am naive with the feelings of love.

And you know what? He slept over last night! Yeah, so weird how every time after he spends the night, he leaves me. xD Makes me feel highly used. And he also did the same thing that he did to me the first, and second time. Blarg, the feeling of being used consumes my body as it did not too long ago.

Now, to go onto moving on, again. At least this time, I have more confidence. He did it. He chose to leave. I did nothing wrong. And I KNOW I did nothing wrong. I was always there, telling him that I loved him. My crying eyes and open arms didn't stray him from his thoughts of leaving.

My age was his reason. My age was why he said that he couldn't love me like I wanted him too. My age was the reason that he didn't want to stay with me again. Well, Travis. You're a hypocrite. Just. Like. Your. Dad.

I hope you grow old with him. I hope you have a great time never having control over your own life. I was here helping you. I was here to be there for you. And you know what? You threw it right back into my face, and told me that I meant nothing to you.

Thanks. ^^ Makes me feel reaaaaal dandy.

Travis, grow up.

Thanks for reading guys. Oh, and please. Yell at me. PLLLEEEAASSE. I need people here to tell me not to take him back!
-Kayla

Well, first, I just want to talk about yesterday. :D

Most of you know that my boyfriend had broken up with me last Wednesday, and it's been hell without him really. Well, I got out of class at about 6, and I got home after hanging with some new friends, and I was texting him asking about another friend of ours. I had stated that I was bored, and wanted to do something. So he texts me and says, "Go outside," in my mind I'm thinking, "Wtf, is he seriously here?" because of all the things that have been said, etc.

I go outside, turning my attention to anything and everything that I could except him, I get into the car, and we start driving to another friends house, to pick him up. As my friend Ryan gets into the car, I start texting him telling him how awkward I felt being in the same car of the one that I loved. The way to our other friends house, it was pretty much me talking to Ryan the whole time to keep from talking to Travis.

We get to Rens house and we go inside only to find Ren and Alan playing a game on the PS2. I decide to say that we should play Halo 3, because I wanted to play against Ren because I've never played him at it. Well, it turned into a 2 on 1 against Travis, with me and Ryan being on a team with each other. It was fun, it really was. I knew Travis was going to win, he's like a pro at Halo 3.

Well, we progressed to playing online, and annoy kids with us laughing. Ren and Ryan were sharing a controller, as in, one of each other their hands was on the controller being in charge of one side of the other. I think I was the only one that wasn't doing it, for the fact that I like to play on my own. xD It was hilarious.

Well, it came about time that I had to leave, because I had to babysit about 10pm. As we were going outside to go back to the car, Travis turns to me and was like, "Give me a hug!" and I look at him, and in a sarcastic tone, I was like, "Noes!" *runs around cars* and he even chased me. After I finally stopped, he gave me a hug, but I was just standing there. After he stopped hugging me, I turned to him and I was like, "I didn't get to hug you!" and I wrapped my arms around him. So, we dropped Ryan off, and the drive back to my house was pretty much totally awkward. When he parked out in front, I just had to give him a hug. I asked him if he'd be on Skype, and he said that he would, and he didn't work today.

So when I get onto Skype, all of our friends were talking and we were all having fun. Being loud, and spamming the fuck out of the IM page. xD Johnny has sent me a song that I'm even listening to now. This one, and it's just awesome. xD

After everyone starts calming down, Travis and I start talking again. We got into the conversation that we always get into.

To make a long story short, he admitted that he was hiding his feelings from me, and that he is really in love with me. Tears couldn't come out of my eyes when reading those words. I couldn't get them to come out no matter how much I wanted to cry.

I told him I wanted to hear his voice, but I didn't want his dad to hear him talking to me. No more than a minute later do I hear my phone ringing. I picked it up, and I heard his voice, and once I did, I just started crying.

This is the happiest I've been in a while. I got my Dragon back, and he got his Kitty.

When he said, "I love you Kitty." That about did it. I'm so in love, my cheeks hurt. He means the world to me.

Throughout the whole break up, everyone of our friends knew about what was going on. They knew something was up, that wasn't right. No one expected him to break up with me. I'm just glad that it didn't go for longer. I hope this stays like this forever. He really brightens up my life. He makes me happy. He makes me smile till my cheeks hurt.

/longrant

I love you FA. I love you muh Dragon!!!!!

-Kayla

A
- Available: Why YES. Yes I am. :)
- Age: 17
- Annoyance: Hmmm, trying to beat a game over and over and losing. D:<
- Allergic: To Bullshit. :3
- Animal: Kittehs. :3
- Actor: Johnny Depp. :D

B
- Beer: Ewwwwwwww....
- Birthday/Birthplace: California. :D Born in November. I'm a sag. :3
- Best Friends: Renny, Ryan, Johnny, Hayden, and maybe Travis. If he wants to. xD
- Body Part on opposite sex: Definitely his eyes. :3
- Best feeling in the world: Awww Kiasha, your response was cute. Made me go :( but yeah, I'd have to agree. Laying in your loved ones arms.
- Blind or Deaf: Blind.
- Best weather: Ummm. I don't know degrees. xD
- Been in Love: Yes, unfortunately.
- Been bitched out?: Bitched out? Wtf is that?
- Been on stage?: Definitely. Band in middle school. :D
- Believe in yourself?: Fuck yes. I'm an optimistic mofucka'
- Believe in life on other planets: Yes.
- Believe in miracles: I believe in coincidence.
- Believe in Magic: Dex can do magic. >.>
- Believe in God: Nope. Sorreh.
- Believe in Satan: You mean my mom? Yeah, I know she exists. xD
- Believe in Santa: Fuck yes. SANTA FTW.
- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Not yet decided. :/
- Believe in Evolution: Yessir.

C
- Car: Mazda 3. :3
- Candy: Reeses Peanut Butter cups.
- Colour: Red, Black, and White. :3
- Cried in school: I used to be quite emotional, so yes.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla.
- Chinese/Mexican: Chinese.
- Cake or pie: Depends. Is it cheesecake?
- Countries to visit: Every single one.
- Day or Night: Night.
- Dream vehicle: Fuckin' space shuttle bitches. xD
- Danced: Umm. FC?
- Dance in the rain?: I wish. That'd be hawt. :3
- Dance in the middle of the street?: Lol. YES!
- Do the splits?: No :(

E
- Eggs: Scrambled with Cheese.
- Eyes: According to Travis, I has Dark Brown eyes. xD Lawler.
- Everyone has: A PENIS :D:D:D BWAHAHAHAHA
- Ever failed a class?: Umm. Unfortunately. D:

F
- First crush: 2nd grade, Kevin. He was also my first kiss. xD
- Full name: Kayla. >.>
- First thoughts waking up: I usually wonder what the time is.
- Food: SUSHI!!!!!

G
- Greatest Fear: Lost love.
- Giver or taker: Giver. :(
- Goals: Graphic Designer mofucka'. :D
- Gum: WinterFresh! :D
- Get along with your parents?: Dads, yes. Mom, no. Step mom, yes.
- Good luck charms: My ankle bracelet. :) Worn it for about 4 years now.

H
- Hair Colour: Brown, with little caramel highlights.
- Height: 5'5.5'
- Happy: Always. :)
- Holidays: All Holidays. :D
- How do you want to die: Umm, I don't? :D lol. However.
- Health freak?: Definitely not.
- Hate: My mother. :D

I
(In guys/girls)
- Eye colour: Blue
- Hair Colour: Dirty blonde / brown
- Height: 5'8"+
- Clothing Style: Whatever. Except no gangster shit.
- Characteristics: Definitely has to be nerdy. That's always the first I look into. :)

- Ice Cream: Vanilla.
- Instrument: Trumpet. :D

J
- Jewelry: Ehm. :/
- Job: Video game testing. :3

K
- Kids: Eventually. :)
- Kickboxing or karate: Karate
- Keep a journal?: When I want to write, I just take a random piece of paper and write on it. I have so many pieces of papers.


L
- Longest Car/Coach Ride: California to Guatemala. 1 week. Yes. 1. Fuck. week. Fuck.
- Love: Want. O.O
- Letter: There are 26 in the alphabet. :D
- Laughed so hard you cried: I always laugh. xD
- Love at first sight: Ummm, attraction at first site, love? Not so much.

M
- Milk flavor: Lol. That sounds weird.
- Movie: Pan's Labyrinth. :3
- Mooned anyone?: Lol. No.
- Marriage: Eventually. :)
- Motion sickness?: Nope. :3
- McD's or BK: BK.

N
- Number of Siblings: 3
- Number of Piercings: 2 - one on each ear.
- Number: I don't have a number. :/

O
- Overused Phrases: Yes, and No.
- One wish: To find someone to love. :)
- One phobia: Mosquitoes. I will literally cry. . .

P
- Place you'd like to live: San Francisco. :)
- Pepsi/Coke: Ummm. Neither?

Q
- Quail: They are purty?
- Questionnaires: This is one, yes.

R
- Reason to cry: When someone totally lies to your face about love. D:< *rages*
- Reality T.V.: LOL.
- Radio Station: Ummm. Only when I have to, and classical. :)
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: Duh. I'm good with my tongue. *winks* xD

S
- Song: Desert Rose. :)
- Shoe size: 8 1/2
- Sushi: OMG I LOVE IT. I could live off of Sushi.
- Skipped school: Did it sophomore year. That's about it. :/
- Slept outside: Definitely love to do that. :0
- Seen a dead body?: Ummm. Noes. I don't ever want to either. I'd cry.
- Smoked?: Umm, I tried it, I don't like it though. I'll never get into it.
- Skinny dipped?: Heh, That's about all I was doing in Guatemala when I went on vacation. xD
- Shower daily?: Try to. -.-
- Sing well?: When I'm loud. :/ As weird as that sounds.
- In the shower?: Yes. Only when the music is loud. xD
- Swear?: Yea, plenty.
- Stuffed Animals?: <3 Kuromi dolls.
- Single/Group dates: Umm, single dates. :3
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries.
- Scientists need to invent: Cure for cancer / other diseases / stds.

T
- Time for bed: When I get tired. :/
- Thunderstorms: Lol. Scared the living shit out of me in Texas. xD Driving through one was a blast, and I was jumping every second. xD
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: Ehm, I haven't even tried, and I don't think I want to. xd

U
- Unpredictable: I'm quite predictable. :/
- Under the influence?: Eww, no.
- Understanding?: I do.

V
- Vegetable you hate: GREEN BEANS. OMG I hate them!
- Vegetable you love: Broccoli. :/
- Vacation spot: Somewhere for only him and I. :)

W
- Weakness: Love. -.-
- When you grow up: Ehm, I'll be grown up?
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Johnny. xD
- Who makes you laugh the most: Hmmm. All of my bestesteresterest buddies in the world. :)
- Worst feeling: Denied :(
- Wanted to be a model?: Heh, I have quite a bit of photos taken that are "model" kinda photos. I thought about it my sophomore year. :)
- Where do we go when we die: I won't go anywhere.
- Worst weather: I don't know. :/
- Walk with a book on your head?: Lol. Who the f does that?

X
- X-Rays: Umm. I don't think I've had any done. I've never broken anything. Yes, for as rambunctious as I am.

Y
-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: Bananas?

Z
- Zoo animal: Ehm. Tiger, definitely.
- Zodiac sign: Sagittarius. :3

LAST PERSON WHO…
1. Slept in a bed beside you?: :( Him. D:<
2. Last person to see you cry?: Brandy. . .
3. Went to the movies with you?: Ren, Alan, Tawni, Tammy, Ryan, and Travis.
4. You went to the mall with?: Same. The mall is where the theater is. xD
5. You went to dinner with?: Travis. :( That was our last date. D:
6. You talked to on the phone?: Insurance company.
7. Made you laugh?: Brandy. xD She said she was gonna feed me dog food. xD ROFL

Thanks for reading! :D

I've been inspired by Numwolf to write about my gaming experiences. xD

Omg, lulz.

Hmm, where to start. I guess I should start with a random story with my friends.

---Okay, so here it goes. One day, my friends came over to my house. My friends have a great sense of humor, I just love them so much. xD They always seem to act gay with each other. (Most of my friends are bi / gay) and Johnny (Straight) and Ryan (Bi) were in my room with me, and we were all talking, just nonchalantly. Well, they started doing sex positions with each other. Knowing them, all I was doing was laughing. So, my mom walks by my room, and she knows my friends aswell, and she just gives this hilarious look. o.0 And my friend Johnny says to my mom, "Hey Joyce! We're having sex!" and my mom says back to him, "NO, you're just exercising!" So from then on, we always say, before we leave to go somewhere, that we are going out to exercise. I also said to my mom, "If you ever catch me naked in bed with my boyfriend, we're just exercising mom!" Oh gosh, priceless.

---Another story happened when I was playing Left 4 Dead. I was playing with my mom, and we were right at the end of the level, right next to the safehouse. Well, there was a car outside of the safehouse that still had the alarm in the car, it wasn't set off! So, because I like to kill zombies, I decide to tell my mom to go into the safehouse with the comps, and I sit outside the safehouse. I shoot the car, and reload my gun, ready to take out the oncoming stampede of zombies about to run my way. So I'm aiming at one window where they all just run through, blast after blast of shotgun shells, I take them all out. As I start to turn, and reload my gun, from the corner of my screen I see a hunter just jump from outside the window, and ONTO me. I yell, "MOM! He's GOING TO RAPE ME!" and her not knowing wtf she's doing, pretty much runs around in circles asking me what she should do. FINALLY, she shoots the zombie. Omg, it was priceless.

---One morning when we went to Further Confusion 09, we were at the local denny's for a bight to eat. We all order our drinks and food is on its way. My friend Johnny (mentioned in previous story) orders hot tea. *starts giggling from the thought of this story* The waitress brings all our drinks to us, and gives Johnny his Teacup, and mug for the tea to go in. We were all talking, and Johnny looks up with a face like, xD but with a tad bit of -.-. And he says, "I've got my hot water, and my hot tea." Apparently what happened was the waitress gave him a cup with hot water in it, and a teacup with hot water in it, but only one teabag. Omg, lulz for the rest of the day.

This is what I have so far. I'll add more. Me and my friends have a GREAT time with each other. :D And we're all furries. :D

Well, hmm, how do I start this out. >.>

Hai FA! :D Well, I'm obviously a girl. -.- If you haven't figured that out by now, I feel very sorry for your eyes. I'm really talkative, and I'm just plain all out social. I love getting to know people, and letting people know about me!

Some things that I like: I <3 <3 <3 <3 video games. I have a WHOLE lot. I play mostly 360 games. I test video games for Sony here in California also! Which is totally fun. :3 I'm so competitive with them too. >.> So watch out. I play a lot of FPS games, and I love RTS's. I also play games like RE5, and Left 4 Dead. I have lots o games, so if you have it, I probably have it. :3

I like to draw, and I have all my life, but I have stopped drawing regularly for a long time, and becoming a furry, it inspired me to draw more, so that's why I'm here. :) I need a lot of work, but meh, I'm ready for the long and vigorous climb to the top! Also, I wanna become a graphic designer. :D

I'm a huge optimist. I literally HATE being sad. I hate it. It's the worst feeling ever. I'd rather be smiling, and making my cheeks hurt. I love laughing, and I'm quite hyper a lot of the time. So if you don't like that, honestly, I'm not the one for you. xD *wink* Along with being an optimist, I feel optimistic for other people. When you're down, I'm the one who'll tell you that you can get back up. When you doubt yourself, I'll be the one next to you to tell you that you shouldn't.

I am way too open I think. I could talk about anything honestly.

I'm really sexual. I love being intimate. I love kissing, and cuddling, and everything. It's just me, I don't know why. xD I'm full of love. :D

I've been in love 3 times in my life. A lot, right? Well, they were all worth it, and they all helped me get through a huge part in my life, so far. The most recent actually introduced me into the Furry life. I had thoughts before, but he helped me over that step to where I could openly admit to it, and be fully involved.

I never regret anything in my life, well, because it made me who I am today. Even the bad things. I will never regret anything. I <3 me. :)

If you wanna talk about anything from relationships, to video games. Even if you want to chat, I'm always open to talking. :)

#

I was wondering if someone could ask me to draw something. Anything. But the catch is that you have to tell me what's wrong with the picture, and you have to I guess critique me a lot.

I really wanna learn. Anatomy, everything. From sex drawings, to drawing genitalia.

I just don't know how to learn on my own. xD

Ish all for free. I guess I wanna become more into my furry drawings. >.> Can helps me pl0x?

:D
Love,
Kiki

It's something that everyone, am I wrong? It's something that everyone seeks.

I'm glad I felt love. I'm glad he was the one that I could tell that I loved. He was everything to me. :) He even still is, after all this.

I don't want this to be a depressing journal entry. We, as humans, benefit from everything we go through in life. And that's exactly what he helped me do. I spilled my feelings out for him, and he got to the point to where he didn't care about them anymore.

Heh, I cried my eyes out. He broke my heart, who wouldn't feel the downside of it.

Now I look at it, and smile. I was able to love him, and still love him. I'm confident enough to know that he's not the only one on the face of the earth. He meant the world to me, and still will, and will always. Well, until someone else decides that they want to share their life with me. :3

Until then. I'll always remember him. :)

I dedicate this journal entry to my once upon a time Dragon. <3 I'll always love you. :3

Rawr guize. The cheetahs out of her cage, and she's hyper. xD

-Kayla