So, after spending the day in Salem, MA (about 10 minutes from my house), walking around with friends and all, I decided now to re-do some of my old tracks. I mainly wanna re-do "See You In Heaven," (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7117525/) because my voice is too boring in it and the organ is off-timing >.=.<. I also wanna re-do "Wash the Pain Away" (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7133875/), "Beautiful Soul" (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7112432/) and "Happy 30th" (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7244014/) because to me, they were all pretty poor :\. For "Beautiful Soul," I'll probably add more chords to make it more interesting. It just becomes repetitive after several minutes, and it's a 9 minute song :\. I can start on Friday and then continue over the weekend, because I don't work until 4 pm EST on Saturday and I'll probably have Sunday off again.

Also, another thing that came to mind - I still have requests to do >.=.<. I remember that  leothetiger wanted me to do a rockability number for him, though I haven't even come up with a good rockability riff yet :\, and  unnameddragon wanted me, but only if I wanted to (but I do because I wanna service him with his musical needs >w>), to do a cover of "Denver the Last Dinosaur" or another 80s-90s cartoon show (I forget the name .w., but it was a show about dinosaurs in space); I'll pick Denver though XP. And I believe that was it >w<.

But yeah, I got stuff to do this weekend :3. Not to mention that it's gonna be no-shave November :D, so I'll get to have a beard by the end of the month X3.

First off, I'm starting to get into Google + because  rinvis isn't gonna be able to text me anyone :c, so if you wanna add me, here's my link: https://plus.google.com/u/1/1048637.....88214589/posts :3.

Anyways, right now I'm focused on college and my new recording job and such X3. I talked to my guidance councilor on Tuesday about getting a degree in the music production field, and I found out that if I get an associate's in communication technology, which is almost completely related to recording technology, I can not only get a better stepping stone, but I can stay at my house :D. This is because there's a school I'm interested in, which is about 30 minutes from where I live, and is a community college. After that, I'll probably move to California to get a bachelor's in recording technology, then maybe I can get a job in the music production/engineering field :3. But that's all in the future, so I'll just keep my mind on high school and visiting this community college next weekend, lol.

But yeah, I have less hours at work now :I, which I'll try to fix by getting another job at Guitar Center, since NOW they're hiring for part-time seasonal help X3, and if I get to stay there I'll take that job over my current one, and if I get laid off then I'll stay at my current one (lame :I).

As for work on music, my band and I are doing some recordings now :3, which I'm overdubbing with bass on because we don't have a bassist at the moment :I. Maybe we can get Mayo to do the recordings with us, but I don't know.

So, I got good news and bad news.

Good news is, I've decided to start both recording production and guitar lessons as some part-time activities where I can make some doe ^.=.^! I decided to do this since I want to be a record producer, and this can defiantly get me some practice :3. I would love to help local artists getting a name too, and if this is how I'll help, then I'll be really satisfied :D. I also wanna do guitar lessons so I can teach young children how to play my favorite instrument ;3.

Bad news is,  rinvis is in a financial situation, involving some personal problems :c. This is because his grandmother's business, the one he works for, is going out of business, and he also has to pay off his college bill with money he doesn't have D:. Currently he's a nervous wreck, and he won't be able to use his phone once November starts ;=;. I want to help him by giving him some money, but currently he seems reluctant due to personal reasons :I.

Update @ 3:11 pm EST, 10/18/12 - I was able to give him some cash this morning through Paypal, which made him really happy ^.=.^, and since I love and care about him so much, I hope to support him on a weekly basis :3 <3.

So, things are starting to get a lil' different in my life.

First off,  magnakoji is moving in with  avilion tomorrow, so he'll only be about 20 minutes away from me now. Since I've started to make frequent visits to Avilion's house, I'll defiantly be able to see Koji in real life now c:. Only thing is we haven't talked to each other at all yet, and I don't know why :I, but maybe this will be a perfect opportunity c:.

Second off, we're getting a new bassist in our band. He's a friend of mine, a junior in my school and a metal-head, but he already seems to like our style, especially with the fact that we have several different genres >w<. It's good though for him to join now, since we're still in the fetal stage of the band despite having several gigs already, lol. He'll probably spice if up with more metal influences, while we retain our usual alternative rock and metal/grunge style, so that'll make an interesting band for sure owo.

Third off, I'm trying to adapt to a few new things - the first being a way to make sure all of my homework is done early and not before a class, the second being a way to make myself skinnier X3 (not through anorexia or bulimia of course :P), and the third being a way to make my emotions and mental state more balanced (it's been great lately but it could be better). For the first one, I need to be online less (that's an obvious), and that's pretty much it XD. For the second one, I need to find more time for the gym, and I need to stop eating so much junkfood :I. And lastly, for the third one, I need to fine more time to meditate and journal (been journaling more recently though c:). If I can help myself to all three of these things within the next several months, I'll be happier c:.

And last off, we got a new kitty X3. Her name is Nala, and she's already around 5, but she's still adorable and a new member of the family ^.=.^!

So, that's it for now. Tune in next time for more interesting stuff, I guess owo.

So, for some of us, we know that today was the day that  athus passed, but most people didn't find out until 2 days later. I wanted to make a song for him today, but I was too busy with homework to do it >.=.<. I'll try to have that done this weekend though, but no guarantees because I have alot of hours for work this weekend :I. And also, although today is a sad day, I tried my best to live through it to the fullest, because not only is it something that needs to be done, but it is what Athus would have wanted from all of us. After all, he is the beautiful soul, right?

So, R.I.P. hon. We all miss you,  narse misses you, your friends and family miss you, and I miss you. But I will let you soar higher to the heavens, and hope that one day I will follow. <3

Well, lately I haven't really put up anything new, so I'm sorry about that :I. I guess the main reason why I don't even bother anymore is because I don't get alot of attention with my art, so I don't see much of a point in being optimistic about it anymore. I'm mainly on FA just to look at other people's art and stuff, but lately I haven't really been communicating on here much because of my focuses on school and on my band :I.

So, when I make any new songs, I'll just post them on my last.fm page and keep that page polished for that material, because it's practically pointless on here imo to bother when it comes to music. People just don't seem to listen, so oh well. I'll keep my gallery untouched though

So, TD Bank was taking money out of my checking as credit instead of debit every time I didn't enter my pin in a transaction, and I wasn't even aware of this. So, because this occurred, I got a negative balance without me knowing, and I got hit with 2 fees (one $175 and one $70), and I found out I had an off balance at school during lunch when I went to the ATM :I. I was freaking out over it, going to two school phones to call the bank and my mom, and I had to be dismissed to resolve it (because if I didn't immediately, I would panic/be pissed the rest of the day). Luckily I was able to have the $70 fee refunded, so now I have $28 (I had around -$42 this morning), but I'm still upset that I wasn't even told about this >.<. I dealt with the same guy who set up my checking account a couple months ago, and he never told me about this (at least, I don't remember o.o). Now I have to wait for my mom to come home from work during her lunch to take care of this.

... life -.-.

So, things lately have been focused on the band (as in trying to relax everything, because we're just about more focused on the future rather than making music >.<) and saving money. Luckily I'm already used to my routine now of school and work X3, but I'm trying to make myself wake up an hour earlier, which already failed this morning >.>. Oh well, tomorrow right? :P

Hey, just here to say that life's going well. Just trying to get through with school and work, using any free time I get as best as I can X3. I barely get any during the week because I'm always doing stuff, so sorry about that :c.

I'm also getting the fall sickness again DX, where I have a runny nose, a cough, and also an off feeling, probably because it's almost a year from now that  athus died. I felt this same offness after he passed, so I guess it's creepin' back in for fall ;=;.

Oh well, life goes on. I'll also try to record some new material ASAP, but I'm also trying to focus on the improvement of my band.

Well, thanks to being back in school, I have very limited time to be online on days where I work as well, which is most of the week :I. This is why I've been less active on here and Skype and all, even with texting, and I do apologize. It's mainly because I'm trying to find a healthy schedule so I can pass this final year of public school, so I can finally get out and go to college, which will be at a community college for 2 years then a state school for 4 to get into music production, for those who are curious XP.

As for my art and all, I'm gonna try to record something this weekend since I have some time, but the thing is that I'm saving most of my written material, despite not composing or writing lyrics for a while due to lack of inspiration :I, for my band, since we're working really hard to get somewhere. I'll probably still record the songs for you guys to listen to at a sooner time, then I'll try to have the band work on it so a band recording of the song can exist :3. This won't happen for requests or improvised pieces, but for songs that I actually write and record to a style that resembles the sound of my band, I will see if they can be worked on with them ;).

But yeah, other than that, school and work >.<.

^^

But I got to keep doing that for 179 more times x.=.x. I wish the day went a bit better, but hell, it's the first one so of course it's not gonna go smooth :I. Also, Mayo and I, since we work at the same place currently, were asked by this one random stranger and a girl behind him for a ride to some motel in offer for a cigarette, which creeped me out o.=.o, but I politely said no because we were busy (we were gonna go to Guitar Center afterwards so Mayo could string his new-found 1974 Yamaha acoustic owo). So yeah, I had to deal with that already >.=.<.

Only 179 more to go :3... ;w;

Senior year starts tomorrow, and I haven't even done my summer reading :I. Well, I did 40 (out of about 400 >w<) pages of reading during my vacation with my family, but that was it XD.

So now, it is officially the last year of high school ;w;. Finally, lol. But I'm gonna miss high school tbh. So I'm just gonna make this the best year possible :3, and I hope to find a new lover soon ;w;.

So, this journal will mainly resolve around my band :P.

Today, Cheznick and I went to check out a recording studio not too far from us (about 20 mins), and along the way we got to see  avilion at his house since he lives right down the street from it X3 <3. The place, especially being in a (ghetto) downtown region, was amazing owo. It really astonished me that such a place could be so local :D, and it's most likely that we'll use that studio for our first EP :D. Recording for it won't start until the upcoming winter, however, since we need to get the money for it (it's $60/hr for the first 10 hours, $45/hr after that) and the songs to record (we want 8 originals complete, and so far we have 3). In the process, we will be recording a demo with the almighty 8 track X3, and that should be completed for listening pleasure by the time we start working on our EP. Those demos will be mixed by the studio man, who, although is Portuguese and can't speak English too well >w<, is nice, experienced and humorous, so we hope to work with him :3.

And aside from the long day, including running back and forth from place to place, starting the demo, hanging out with Cheznick all day (and Mayo as well), and also having some jerk try and not let me pass when I was signaling to go in the left lane, then Cheznick saying a stupid comment out the window that had the guy pull up to us twice to yell at us, not much else is going on >w<. Tomorrow my car gets inspected, I work for my Dad for about an hour while I wait, I go to therapy, work on the demo and then go to work :3. By Sunday we should have the first track we're working on done, and at that time I will post it so you guys can see what we're starting with :3.

Got this from  dark58 :3

100 Truths

1. Last beverage: Milk (and it sucked >.=.>)

2. Last phone call: Was with an associate, since her husband's fixing my amp

3. Last text message:  rinvis

4. Last song you listened to: "All Right Now" by Free

5. Last time you cried: A couple nights ago


HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Got back with someone you've broken up with: Only had one breakup, and tbh I don't wanna go back to her :I

7. Been cheated on: Thank God no

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Naw

9. Lost someone special:  athus

10. Been depressed: Oh yeah

11. Been drunk and threw up: Never drank, never really want to



LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Red

13. Gold (*isnotacommunist*)

14. White



THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2012)

15. Made a new friend: A whole bunch

16. Fallen out of love: Out and in

17. Laughed until you cried: I do it quite often X3

18. Met someone who changed you:  rinvis

19. Found out who your true friends were: Just about

20. Found out someone was talking about you: No :O

21. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend's list: Just one

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: A good deal

23. How many kids do you want?: None now, maybe two later

24. Do you have any pets?: Yes

25. Do you want to change your name: Nope

26. Where did you last go?: Work 11-8:30

27. What time did you wake up today?: 7 am

28. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Sleeping X3

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: A relationship

30. Last time you saw your Mother: A few hours ago

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: Feeling useless and jealous

32. What are you listening to right now: Nothing (for some reason :I. Put on Pearl Jam's "Black" now :3)

34. Who is getting on your nerves now?: Two of my managers -.=.-

35. Most visited webpage: FA and Facebook

36.Whats your real name: Rob

37. Nicknames: Tsar, The Fruchina Dragon

39. Zodiac sign: Leo

40. Male or female? Male with some feminine qualities X3

41. Primary School?: Yes

42. Secondary School?: No

43. High school/college?: Yes

44. Hair color: Brown

45. Long or short: Well it's touching the base of my neck now when I don't straighten it, so yeah X3

47. Do you have a crush on someone? I've had a few since the breakup (one today, but he's not interested :I), but none atm

48: What do you like about yourself?: My talents and my humor

49. Piercings: Nope

50: Tattoos: Nope

51. Righty or lefty: All righty



FIRST:

52. First surgery: Adnoids removed when I was about 4

53. First piercing: Nope

54. First best friend: A friend named Travis. Haven't seen him in over a decade ;w;

55. First sport you joined: Baseball

56. First vacation: Cape Cod

57. First pair of trainers/running shoes: Iono :I


RIGHT NOW:

58. Eating: Nothing

59. Drinking: Nothing

60. I'm about to: Stay seated on my butt XD

61. Listening to: Pearl Jam's "Black"

62. Waiting for: Tomorrow

63. I'm feeling: Normal


YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids?: Probably

65. Get married?: Noooooooooooooope (even if it's with a woman :I)

66. Career: Music producer or musician

67. Lips or eyes: Eyes

68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs

69. Shorter or taller: Well they're most likely gonna be shorter because I'm 6' 2" owo

70. Older or Younger: I've gone for older

71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice arms (to hug me tight ^.=.^)

73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship



HAVE YOU:

75. Kissed a stranger: Lol no

76. Drank hard Liquor: Never drank

77. Lost glasses/contacts: Yep

78. Sex on first date: Still a virgin :I

79. Broken someone's heart: Not really

80. Been arrested: Nope

81. Turned someone down: Never D:

82. Cried when someone died: Yep

83. Fallen for a friend: A few owo (just furs though)



MUSIC:

84. HIP HOP: 80's/90's

85. METAL: 70's/80's

86. ROCK: 60's/70's

87. POP: 50's/60's (omg, it's in a downward pattern XD)

88. COUNTRY: Nope

89. R & B: 60's

90. ALTERNATIVE: 90's



ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

91. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: I'm not polygamous, sorry :I

92. Did you sing today?: I practiced my voice in the shower X3, but other than that nope

93. Did something illegal?: Smoked weed/smoked cigarettes while under 18, driven under the influence (my friend and I had the munchies for McDonald's X#3)

94. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: Middle school

95. The moment you would choose to relive?: (If I could have it once) That moment where you're with the one you love, all alone, in mother nature's arms (near the woods), and you just snuggle and kiss the whole time... I'd relive that all the time ;w;

96. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Actually no

97. When was the last time you lied?: I barely lie

98. Are you usually late, early or right on time?: Early

99. Would you give your life to save someone else's?: Yes

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths?: If so then these are all lies :3

Well, yesterday I had a really bad mental experience :c, and I was able to text  rinvis about it. He gave me some good advice, which at first made me freak out, but this morning I was able to call my therapist on it, and she helped me cool down.

So after what had happened, I will now be taking easy steps into healing myself, to be truly happy. I ask for all of you, as in my friends, viewers, watchers and listeners, to wish me luck in this. You don't have to do anything, but you can talk if you want. I just need some love is all, like we all do <3. I promise you I'll be fine, but I just want to be better. And I think I know what to do, and what I truly want.

I know this journal sounds weird x.=.x, but just bear with me with it. I feel like I've been awakened to something that's been haunting me for years, and now I'm finally gonna do something about it. I really am.

Thank you for reading this and supporting me this whole time <3.

Stolen from  avilion

What if?~

● I died:
● I kissed you:
● I fell:
● I lived next door to you:
● I showed up at your house unexpectedly:
● I stole something:
● I was murdered:
● I cried:
● I asked you to marry me:
● I was hospitalized:

~What do you think about my~

● Personality:
● Eyes:
● Hair:
● Family:
● Smile:

~Would you~

● Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me?
● Keep a secret if i told you one?
● Hold my hand?
● Study with me?
● Cook for me?
● Love me?
● Date me?
● Have sex with me?

~Have you ever ~

● Lied to make me feel better?
● Wanted to kiss me?
● Wanted to kill me?
● Broke my heart?
● Thought I was unbearably annoying?
● Hated me?
● Wanted to tell me something but didn't?
● Wondered about my sanity?
● Wanted to do something to me?

~More ~

● When and how did we meet?
● Describe me in three words.
● What was your first impression of me?
● What do you think of me now?
● What reminds you of me?
● Could you see us together forever?
● When's the last time you saw me?
● Are you gonna re-post this to see what I say about you?

Because I'm 18 X3. It doesn't feel like it, but I finally have freedom to actually do things on my own X3! Except drink, obviously, lol.

But yeah, just wanted to let you guys know ;3.

Yeah, it was amazing owo! Everyone literally loved us, and by the end of the set I was just jamming out to our old tune "Blub," which I plan to rerecord sometime soon because I wanna make a demo now of all of our songs, since we're official now :3. We even have a manager, aka my guitarist's roomate, who's 21 and is a friend of ours. He's also doing it for free (score! X3), which is cool :3.

But yeah, we rocked mang >w<! And thanks to everyone who supported me in my last journal (http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3767148/) :3 <3.

It's been a hectic week for me since tonight (yes I forgot to mention this earlier x.=.x) my band and I are gonna play for about 200 people at our first official gig. It's in 3 hours too owo.

Wish me luck X3! I'll make another journal on how it went afterwards lol.

From where we left off: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3748382/

He apologized to me, and at first I was still upset. He told me him and his friend did it because they were hammered, and they thought that because him and I are furs (though he's not really active in the community, like, at all lmao) that it would be so hypocritical that it would be a riot. Well, it wasn't, but I'm not gonna let one stupid mistake make me hold a grudge. So, I forgive him, but I don't forget (because I actually have a pretty good memory X3). He told me that he promises not to ever do it again, and he'll remember what happened so he knows. He also said that if he knew that it would offend me even slightly, that he would have not done it. So yeah, glad that's over okay lol.

And right now, I can't spend time talking on Skype or FB or anywhere else because I need to compose a song for my band's major gig this Saturday. We're gonna have about 500 people watching, and there's a 90% chance we'll get to play, so we need to practice alot and work alot and all. But by Wednesday night I can talk again, so don't worry ;).

So, Conscious Power called me with one of his loser friends, and because I put a thing up on Facebook saying he was "my mentor," because him and I used to talk about deep stuff, they left me a message saying he wasn't, and they said (more graphically) to go do a dragon, and then they called me a derogatory name (a "furry 'freak'"). I'd use the real word but I have a couple friends who would be offended if I used it, so I want to respect them. Overall I consider him now a drop out druggie fraud, since his "intelligence" only came from mushrooms -_-. But whatever, people come and they go, and he's one of them now.

And the second thing: I want to clean up my gallery by deleting all the jams and some of my pics, because they're too stingy and we don't jam anymore. Plus it's not like anyone listens to them still. But oh well. I'll keep most of my originals up, but that will be it. And now there was a dinging noise that made me go "wtf o.=.o?" Sorry if you do actually enjoy the jams, but they're honestly taking up my gallery now. I want my originals to be more open so people can listen to them, and not a bunch of guitar solos. If we make more jams, I'll post them, but for now these old ones are going away.

Finally, internet again X3. I feel like I'm finally back with the world XD.

Anyways, it was a nice, quiet vacation c:, and I was able to keep contact with those who's numbers I have, and although I had the option if I went to a place with wifi, I didn't use the internet at all :3, which is why I was inactive. I did get to respond to all the messages, comments, favs, watches, etc. just now (there weren't a whole lot, but there was a handful, which I expected lol). I don't want to get into too much detail, but basically I didn't work X3, I went to shops, went out to eat a couple times (one restaurant we went to is considered to have won the rank of #1 beer bar in the world in 2009 and 2010 owo), played 9 holes with my dad, watched a few movies on my laptop like "Silence of the Lambs" which was really good :3, went canoeing, swimming, out for rides, played acoustic guitar, recorded one song ;3, etc. Basically, it was relaxing :3, but I did have a few bad cases of negative energy which I don't want to get into for personal reasons ;m;. But that was just the first couple days -

But yeah, now I'm back :), and I'm hungry X3.

Gonna be leaving within an hour, so I won't be on here, FB or Skype for a while >w<. I just hope they have wifi and service where I'll be staying so I can still keep in touch with you guys c:! But if not, it's only one week, lol.

So I decided to find the Pinyin (aka Mandarin in Latin script, or not in the funky characters Xp) translation of "muscial one," and I found "Yinyue," so I'm gonna take that as my dragon's name :3. You can still call me Tsar or Rob or whatever, but that's just my dragon's name for now on :P