(this journal is a "not-so-serious" more "lightly" mood)

So on the flip side of that last journal I just thought I'd go ahead say that I'M BUSY AS HEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK *faint*.

I'm down in Texas doing a summer school course which isn't too bad but still, its school =/

Otherwise I'm constantly running around trying to hang out with friends, help my parents around the house, playing "Designated Driver" for parents and adults, plus many many MANY more things.

BUT! I've been able to get in a respectable amount of drawing in so even if you don't see me uploading anything in the next month or so I AM drawing :D!

Also, for the last few years, ever since I moved into Colorado there has been something I've wanted. Close friends probably have a good guess of what I'm talking about and most of them already know. Well, do to circumstances and deal of hunting around and so forth I am *drumroll* going to be getting..... A DOG 8D! Well, to be more specific I'm adopting a Siberian Husky/German Shepperd/Wolf dog. Her name is Shadow Girl and I found her through some online hunting. I've been able to meet her twice and my parents got to meet her as well. The plan is to pick her up when I make my drive back to Colorado. I could go on and on about her right now but I'll save that for another journal when I get to Colorado.

Ugh and that is the other thing! Some people outside of America might not know but there are several VERY BIG fires going on in Colorado right now and VERY close to my house up there =(. I called my "neighbor" the other day only to find out that the fire had, at one point, gotten about 20 minutes away from my house D= ! However, after talking with her she made it clear that things looked ok now and that it had rained all day the following morning. So yeah, add that nagging "little" upset to the back of my mind while I'm down here in Texas o_o

Anyway, I'm pretty much doing fine otherwise and felt like a decent update (and change of mood) would help ^^! I'd love to hear how everyone else is doing! I am guilty of the fact I don't read other people's journals as often as I should ^^;.

Later,
~Kins

Hey guys. Been a while again. I guess it's the norm for me to update sporadically on long events.

Well, its been about 3 weeks now since I received the news that my grandmother had passed away. Sadly, I still don't think I've set in place this loss yet, and I don't think the true grief of the event will hit me for some time. Allot of my friends spoke up and wanted to make sure I was alright. For the first week I pretty much kept busy doing things like not much had happened. If I stopped to think about it I would mentally get caught up while I still had so many other things to do. And I guess this concerned a few people. So it was a little surprising, even to me, when late one night I just got online and asked some friends for help. It was strange but I didn't want to talk to anyone I knew about everything that has been going on. Not that I don't trust my friends or anything like that but I just needed some help from someone else. (Special thank you to  cunningfox and  dusk )

It didn't help that allot of other bad things occurred when we traveled for the funeral. I'll just say that we needed an ambulance at one point and nothing more for now.

In the last 4 years I have lost both my grandfathers, both my grandmothers, my aunt, and two of my 3 family cats. I have this overwhelming since of not being able to understand or truly deal with any of it. And being a person of no religion, it is hard for me to work out in my own head the emotions I feel.

But I have learned something. Something that didn't hit me until the funeral of my grandmother. Just prior to her passing I was able to see and visit with her on my way down through Texas. And I realized that I wanted mostly in my mind was the last time I saw her to be happy and pleasant with a smile. And what I've learned is, that when I was to pass away I'd want to go with a smile. I want people to know that I was ok, things would be alright, and to keep their memory alive.

This seems almost, very corny; maybe too serious to try and get across on the internet. But I felt like I needed to at least voice my opinion on the matter.

Thank you,
~Kins

To anyone who happens to be reading this you probably only know me as a stranger. Just another person on the internet with an interest in drawing and animals and anthro. And I guess that is fine since there isn't much more than to ask for that.

But I just need a little help...

In the last four years I have lost over 6 of my family members and I almost lost a good friend as well. The most recent have been the loss of my second cat and just the other weekend my grandmother passed away. I have to head off for her funeral this next Saturday. I have had several friends ask about how I'm doing but all I can tell them is that I'm not interested in talking about it. I've lost so much I'm still a little unsure on just how to feel.

I know that I cannot take funerals so well. I cannot be in the presence of other people during mourning. I've talked with counselors in the past and last year, when I'd only lost 3 of my family, they suggested that the stress of that was causing me problems in school. So if that is the case imagine how I am now.

I guess, I don't really know what I'm asking for but it helps to know that someone out there, someone who is a complete stranger, would know and care for the well being of others.

I'm having a hard time. And I just need a little help.

~Kins

Hey everyone!... who reads this >_>
First off, since I'm a little lazy on reading journals (and since some of you probably don't want to write journals like me) how about you guys tell me what your lives have been like recently =)?

...
..
.

OK! Now then, as for me. My summer didn't go as planned in any way shape or form which truly and honestly sucks. However, I still did get to do some cool traveling and activities. But alas, school has now started just today =/ . While my professors are all pretty good (as far as I can tell) the amount of work being asked is... going to be overwhelming. I have German 2, Biochemistry, Argumentative Scientific Writing, and Developmental Biology -_- ! So, this is going to be a rough semester but, I'll just have to survive. Also, it looks like I might be working at my planetarium again doing the laser shows (DAFT PUNK ANYONE 8D!?). But that is if my work load with school doesn't way me down.

There are, as well, some rather sad things to report on my behalf... As some might know at the beginning of this summer I had to put down my cat since she was sick. I hadn't seen her in two years but I got to spend a week with her for all its worth and memories again. I could tell she was happy to see me and she will never be forgotten. But now... I also lost my very close grandmother last Tuesday... At this point, I can't really feel much and while I am not a religious person I can't help but feel that something is trying to rub my face in the dirt for all of time. The funeral is not until the Friday after next but in the meantime I just have to keep on living. Sadly... its almost like I've become immune to it all by now...


So... there is the good and the bad news of my life right now. But please, I want to hear what is up with everyone else right now!

Thanks,
~Kins

P.S. If you've actually read down this far I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON SOME MORE SERIOUS ART PIECES AND HOPE TO BE POSTING THOSE SOON ;D!

For anyone who cares to read my journal:

Life has been trying to pumble me into a state of pure depression now for the last 5 months of my life with no hope of any successfully un-scared future.

First there is Christmas, where my 14 year old cousin got high on drugs, hopped onto his dirt bike, and went tearing down the street with no helmet only to crash into a car at full speed. One immediate life flight to the hospital and over 45 cousins, aunts, and uncles crying later he managed to live even though he split his jaw in half and gods know what other damage (FYI he is now fully recovered).

2nd: School... well, I considered taking a break from it for a semester because that is just how much bullshit I was getting from the god damn administration. I swear the campus showed me one of its ugliest sides as I tried to plan my courses out and get my degree. Hassling from parents on the subject didn't help at all but I decided to bite the bullet and go through with my schooling.

3rd: Right after I make the "bite the bullet" decision my grandfather passes away on my birthday (this was also the day of AND the day before an exam). I was lucky enough that my mother flew me over before the rest of the family could arrive so that I could say my personal goodbyes. I can't take death or funerals in particular that well (I have to wait outside alone).

Then, school is finally over and my parents officially move back to the U.S. after living in Qatar (country in the middle east) for the last 5 years. I'm also going to get to see my cat who I haven't seen in two years either! But, life decided that I hadn't had enough yet so it took my cat away from me this last Saturday as well. She fell deathly sick but I was able to come back and be with here for a few days before we had to put her down.

And now... for the god damn fucking icing on the cake! My Grandmother has been sick with cancer for a while but she was taking what looked like a decent chemo therapy treatment... WRONG! Turns out the cancer backlashed and she had to look at another treatment only to discover that she was having mini brain strokes because one of the main arteries in her neck has a 60% plaque build up. I haven't heard the latest but it looks like they are going to have to try a risky surgery on this artery before any other options are open.

(I'm going to attempt to be a little silly know for anyone who has played Portal 2 and also to try and lighten this depressing mood)

So yeah... Life decided to give me rotten lemons and is wanting me to make the best of it. Well fuck you life! I want you to take them back! I want to make combustible lemons that will BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!

So yeah... at this point I'm pretty much just sitting back and waiting for the next good thing to get ruined again.

... I just... I just can't do anything anymore. I can't do anything but just distract myself from this shit that keeps happening. I can't deal with it, I can't make decisions, and every time something finally seems to be going right life just comes back to stomp my face in the ground again.

Yesterday I learned that my cat is horribly sick and that she isn't going to live much longer. I haven't seen her for two years now while she has been with my parents over in the Middle East. But my parents just moved back with her and the other two family cats last Friday. I was going to be able to go down this summer and pick her up so I could be with her again.... and now this.

I mean, its the day after I'm done with finals... the day after I finish my most recent piece "Endure" (fuck you irony) and then I receive this news. My Christmas was absolutely horrible and ruined even though my cousin is thankfully fully recovered, I had issues with school and wither I was going to continue or not, then my Grandfather passes away on my birthday, and now my first pet is about to leave and I probably wont get to see her before she goes.

I just can't take this anymore. Anytime I think about it I just crash down... staying in place, sobbing my heart out and I can't do anything else but try and distract myself.

Life will continue, I'll eventually get through this, but right now I'm nothing but hard cold stone...

Hey everyone (or rather anyone) who still gets my journals.

I'm going to be very short and too the point here (more detail on DA) I turned 22 today but I found out that my grandfather also passed away this morning. I'm mixed between distraught and emptiness right now and not really sure what to do. I'm already going to miss a midterm and I'm flying down to Texas tomorrow.

So, sorry to bring bad news but just an update to anyone who reads.


Hopefully one day I'll be more active here!!!!

For anyone who read the last journal I just wanted to say that I am now safe and sound AND I was able to make it back to my house. The fires never got close enough to do any damage and thankfully the smoke never swamped the house so everything is fine.

I am currently out of internet though (the tower was damaged in the fire) so I might be slow to respond to anything for a while. In the meantime I'm using the internet while I'm on campus to get things done.

But that's the update and thanks for all the wishes and prayers ^^.

Yeah, so, for all you guys there is a bit of a forest fire in Colorado at the moment, that started earlier today, up in the mountains...

I live up in the mountains...

At first I was far enough away but the fire has been spreading so I had to leave later today. I'm now down in the hills with some cousins and my house will probably be fine but that doesn't mean I'm not nerve wrecked at the moment. As I was coming down the mountain I got a very good and clear look to the north where the boundary of the fire was. There were several houses where all you could see were the skeletons a-flame. One of them even collapsed in on itself in a huge fire-ball and there was also (what I believe to have been) a propane tank that exploded. So yeah, I'm currently without my home and I don't have any clear idea as to when I'll be able to go back.

It looks like nothing will change until the fire fighters can get everything contained but currently... it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

So yeah, there is a quick update for anyone who reads.

1) Who are you?
2) Are we friends?
3) When and how did we meet?
4) Would you kiss me?
5) Give me a nickname and explain why.
6) Describe me in 1 word.
7) What was your first impression of me?
8) Do you still think the same?
9) What reminds you of me?
10) If you could give me anything, what would it be?
11) How well do you know me?
12) Are you gonna put this in your journal and see what I say about you?
13) Would you meet up with me?

Sorry I haven't commented on anybody's stuff. I just got done with finals and now I'm going back over to the Middle East for a few weeks. I'll be trying to catch up on everything while I'm not flying.

I'll put a list here as well of everything I'm gona be working on as well :). Tell then, Howls to you all.

Well, eventually when Finals are over on May 4th and if I sit my butt down to do it I'll give some more info about myself and what not. But for now I will continue to post neat little facts along with other tid-bits about myself.

So, recently I was reminded of the Transformers movie. It is tied with "October Sky" as my #1 most fav movie. But it turns out there are a few funny facts about the movie that I happen to know X).

So lets start: Do you remember how the military base that was attacked in the beginning of the movie was located in a place called Qatar? Well, turns out Qatar is a real country in the Middle East and that was where I lived for 2 years! Now, what I can tell you... that was not shot in Qatar. Turns out most of the movie was actually shot in Alamogordo, New Mexico. Proof, there were mountains in the background of the Qatar scene when the helicopters are flying... There are no mountains in Qatar (hurhur XP).

Here is where things get stranger. For the past 7 years I had been going to the EXACT town where the a good chunk of the movie was shot . Every summer I went there for a Space Camp but it wasn't until after the movie came out that I was informed that it was shot in this town.

I practically spazed out as a local friend told me how they had hired kids for the movie shoots and everything D:
My greatest joy to learn was this though :
In the Scene where Bumble first transforms (shines the light up into the sky) remember how he is in a kind of junkyard and there is an empty grain tower? Yeah, I had been driving by that exact spot for 7 years. Went back and got my photo where Shila Labuff was standing and everything (since I'm that much of a nerd XD ).

So that is my little info/cool rant on the Transformers movie . I CAN'T WAIT for the next one to come out!





As a last little bit of info for the future... I generally post 5 songs that I'm listening too at the time. I do this because I like to know what others listen too, other people know what I like, and it sometimes portrays the mood I'm in. So, Should I bothering doing this on my FA journal or is it probably not necessary/used?

Well, for my first journal I was going to give a very a quick description of some of the unique things have happened to me in my life so far a s well describe a few of my thoughts and opinions on some subjects.

BUT! It turns out several of you have done that Urban dictionary thing so I thought that would be a better an interesting prelude to my explanation journal XD.

So, this might be a little long but please bare with me and read the whole thing if you can. I would love to hear your guys thoughts and opinions on some of these things X)!

1) Your name? Ty

~ Yeah, if this one doesn't seem obvious at all "Net nerd version of "thank you""

Most people think Ty is my nickname... BUT ITS NOT! (you won't believe how many times I've been asked).

2) Your age? 20

~Bag of Weed, costs $20.00 dollars and is enough to make 4 fat joints.

... I won't smoke nothing D8<!

3) One of your friends? Carey (this is a guy FYI)

~ Sometimes a guys name, and in this case is. He has a great sense of humor. Loves to fish. Has money.
LOL, I won't reveal much but I know for a sad fact that last one... NT.

4) What should you be doing? Other

~ I chose other randomly but you guys should get a laugh out of this XD! >
A person who possesses both the first and last names of two other people in a group. he is then dubbed Other.[b]
New Person: Hi my name is Scott Schmitz
Scott: Hi my name is Scott
Schmitz: Hi my name is Schmitz
<awkward silence>
Schmitz and Scott: We'll call you Other!

5) Favorite colour? Aqua

~This is what I was going for > [b]a color that is a cross between light blue and sea green. it is a jewel. it is often the color if a pices eyes.

This is what I originally got > An European dance pop group of keyboardists Søren Rasted and Claus Norreen, and rapper René Dif from Denmark, and singer Lené Nystrøm Rasted from Norway. They had huge hits like "Lollipop (Candyman)," "Doctor Jones," "Turn Back Time," "Cartoon Heroes," and of course, "Barbie Girl." They released two albums, "Aquarium" and "Aquarius." Their songs are infectiously catchy, so that you know it's bad pop music, but you can't help but listen to it and secretly like the dance grooves. Their characteristic electronic sound features the girlish vocals of Lené clashing with the rather interesting low male voice of René.
O_o! This I did not know...

6) Birthplace? Houston

~ First word heard from the moon. The nation's fourth largest city and home to the Texas Medical Center (the world's largest) and NASA's Johnson Space Center.

Few cities in the world can match H-Town as a source for blues and rap talent. Home of ZZ Top and Beyoncé.

One of the best places to live, work, play, eat, play music, hear music, do art, see art, get sick, get well, work out, hang out, and make a decent living doing whatever your heart says you were put on earth to do.
The U.S. economy can be up or down but there's always money to be made in Houston.

A bit egotistical?

7) Month of your birth? February

~
February is the best month of the year. Its still nice and cold and snowy, but you know that spring is just around the corner if you're tired of all the bad weather. February is also the most unique month. 28 days long,(unless its every four years on a 'leap' year)
Valentines day is also in February. (the fourteenth)It's a fun holiday named after St. Valentine, and it's for cute happy couples. Many single or unhappy peope celebrate the anti Valentines day, ie. Singles awareness day.

People born in February are without a doubt the Cutest, Smartest, and Funniest set of people. If you are born after the 20th, you are also a PICES. This is the best Zodiac sign.
"Kristy is so cute! Shes nice too! How did she get so purfect and talented?"
"She was born in February"
"OF COURSE! THAT MUST BE IT"

"Eight days till march!"
"No. Nine days till march."
"*shakes head* Silly- this year is a leap year!"
"ahhhhhhh"

Well I was born on the 22nd so that matches with my whole Aqua/Pices thing XD! And while I've never had a girlfriend, Valentines day is still nice ^^. And as a side fact George Washington was also born on the 22nd of February (after the calendar was altered though).

8) Last person you talked to? Matt

~...Um, lets just say its sex linked O_O!

9) One of your nicknames? Normally its "Tiger" (from my Dad) but I'll go with Kins

~ a suffix denoting affection; a term of endearment



So that is it for this quick description. Hope you all enojyed and got some lols. Thanks for reading to!!!