He's still in the hospital. the Dr. said they wanted to keep him another night. And now he's not going to be able to drive here.

My family is all "we told you so. your not allowed to leave."

I'm depressed. He says he's still coming to get me as soon as he can. But my guts telling me I'm not leaving. So all my plans and the reason I quit my job just tumbled around me... I feel .... depressed... more so then I have in a long time.

Please excuse me, I am going to finish a homework assignment and then stare at the ceiling for a while.

So he's finally awake (somewhat) from his surgery and he says he feels like shit. Right now he doesn't think he is up to driving tomorrow. So he's planing on leaving on Monday.

I am going to bed now seeing as I'm kind of running on almost empty.

Thank you everyone whose been helping me today. I don't think I can say thank you enough

Okay so I just got a text from my friend and he does have appendicitis. He's currently in Surgery for it. He will be released tomorrow, and they said he will be perfectly fine to drive from there to here to get me by the time he is released tomorrow. :/ I'm not sure I trust this but apparently this is a in-out surgery. So here's to hoping, at the moment I will be leaving a few days later then expected.

I decided after my last journal that I was going to keep packing in an attempt to keep my mind off of things. Well in the middle of packing I get a phone call from work, they asked me to come in. Now I was SUPPOSED to be off today to let me pack and they know it. well I said fine I'll come in since I would have only been there for 4 1/2 hours. I pulled into the parking lot and had a panic attack.... one of the guests ran into the hotel and told management they came out to see it was me and my boss told me to go back home. It took about 20-30 mins for me to calm down enough to drive home.

Today has just been all wrong for me. I'm not liking it. x.x anyway once he gets out of surgery I'll update again.

As everyone knows I have been getting ready to move these past few day's, actually the past few months. In preparation to move I turned in a letter of resignation to my General Manager, I gave my car back to my ex since we still owe money on it and I had no way to take it with me to Cali. That and he was constantly threatening me, "if you don't do this my way I'm gonna beat your ass and take the car back!" that kind of thing. I was happy to be finally rid of this asshole.

So My friend was driving from there to here to get me and my animals to take us back home with him. He was supposed to be leaving last night/this morning at 2am so that he was here by Monday November 1st, so we could leave the next day, November 2nd. So I'm supposed to be packing all day today as well as tyeing up a few loose ends that I have here. Before I can even get up and start my day I get a text message, which is what woke me up, from this friend saying he's in the hospital. I freaked out, Hoping he didn't get into a car accident and that he's alright because of course I always think the worst in just about any situation.

He sends me another message a few minutes later and says he might have appendicitis, which is shitty and I can't expect him to drive or anything after all this. They are currently running the tests to see if thats what's wrong with him or not. (I'll update when I find out)

I'm worried about him, and another of my friends came to me and told me that the reason it happened like this is because He got cold feet.... So then my brain goes on a merry little rampage "instead of telling me your having second thoughts, you wait till the day your supposed to leave and go to the hospital just so you don't have to tell me you don't want to do this?!" Now I don't know if ANY of this is right.

So now I'm fighting with myself, the part of me thats feeling bad about everything and I want to make sure he's okay, and the part of me that always believes the worst of everything and everyone. My head is currently like the national debate, and its only me in there just fighting with myself over this while I make myself sick.

I'm making myself sick because I'm worrying and then the fact that some part of me is willing to believe he's just trying to get out of this whole move, is making me double sick. I'm literally disgusted with myself over this...

At the moment other then my internal debate and making myself sick I don't know what is going on. and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should keep packing or if I should just sit here and wait. He's got two weeks of vacation time to come get me, but depending on what these test results turn out as, he may not be able to come and get me at all. So right now we are playing the waiting game.

So I am getting ready to move, from Ohio to California. HUGE freaking move, but it kinda needs to really be done. As everyone knows moving takes money and a move this big takes a lot of money.

I've got the move figured out, but now my job has been fucking me over on my paycheck since I turned in my resignation letter. My last paycheck should have been $370+ yet it was barely $200. I talked to my General Manager and she said its because of my uniform or some bullshit, that taxes, losing my name tag, and getting "reported" by a guest for something I didn't do (I wasn't there that day) it knocked my paycheck down THAT much. Okay the unifroms were $7.00 For top and bottom, so $14.00 right? the name tag is $5.00 that makes a total of $19.00 that should have been deducted from my check. $370-$19 = $351 take out taxes and it comes to about $329.58 the check I got was like $194.58 what the hell happened to the other $135.00?

I asked and she said I got reported by a guest, okay... there's no policy for money to be deducted from your paycheck if a guest reports you. You just get put on suspension, which they can't do to me because I wasn't there that day!!!! And the girl who really did what I'm being docked pay for (she threw up in their room since she was sick it wasn't pretty I think it even got on some of their things) admitted to doing it and everything, yet somehow I'm not allowed to get that money back... especially when I need it ya know cuz thats just ridiculous.

So I had an appointment to get Potize neutered that Friday that I got that shitty check that cost me $94, I had a bill due that was a $50 min payment and I had an eye doctor appointment that same Friday since I really needed one (its been over a year and a half) and one of the pictures that they took of my eye showed the back of my eye to be dead. so they ran more tests, to make sure it wasn't dead because thats a serious issue. All in all that bill came out to be $161.47 (I have no insurance) I had to put at least $50.00 down on the eye doctors before I left the office... So I still owe $111.47 there. Which is money I don't have... and won't have until sometime after I move and I need to pick up my contacts before I leave.... otherwise I can't see and I can't help drive on the way to California.

not to mention my other male cat Ruze has to be neutered before I leave so that he's not spraying or humping everything in the house when I move... Its not my house so I have to go by their rules. thats another $94 I have to pull out of my ass before Nov.1st. Since I leave Nov. 2nd.

So all in all I had a $194.58 check and I have/had about $449.47 worth of shit to pay. And I have only managed to pay $194.00 of. that leaves... $449.47-$194.00=$255.47 left for me to freaking pay... I'm going to lose my freaking head... I'm not entirely to sure what to do at this point. My room mate agreed to give me $50.00 towards helping get Ruze fixed so it drops what I need to manage to get to $205.00 but thats still a freaking lot... I have one more paycheck coming from this place I work at... BUT that pay day isn't till the Friday after I leave... they have to mail me the check meaning it'll take even longer for me to get.

I'm just having a rough time and Moving is stressing me out. x.x I kinda didn't realize how bad this money thing was until I sat down and looked at everything. and yeah I know I should go after the place I'm working to make them give me the $135.00 thats missing from my check but that takes a lot of time, and a good lawyer. Neither of which I have or can afford at the moment.

Like I said I'm stressed, I need to take a breather and try and relax while I get my head together and figure out what I am going to do about all of this. I'm not asking for donations, I really just think I needed to rant and let it all out before I started crying over it. x.x

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:15015007

 TheUnborn needs some help. We have all been here myself included. Please help spread the word, and maybe help out and donate as well

Much love guys <3

Alright so last night My room mate went to work, I put his two kids to bed and went upstairs into my own room to relax before bed since I had to get up early. So I was sitting upstairs in my room, messing around on the computer and talking to one of my pets on the phone. He and I were joking around about stuff, when suddenly all 3 dogs start barking and growling, now normally Fiesty, the small dog, will randomly start barking in the middle of the night because the wind blew a funny way. What made me actually stop and pay attention was that Sparta, my baby, and Ellie, Room mates dog, not only were barking as well, but they were growling. you know how most dogs have very distinct growls? you can tell when they are playfully growling and when they are serious, well Ellie and Sparta were dead nuts serious and they didn't like whatever was going on downstairs.

Theres two kids in the house, a 9 year old boy and a 7 year old girl, so I figured one of them was up and bumping into things downstairs. I got up opened my door and walked to the boys room, which is right across the hall, and opened the door. The boy was sound asleep in his bed. so by process of elimination It has to be the girl downstairs right? Wrong I open the girls door next because something isn't sitting right in my stomach, the girls sound asleep as well, but sure as night there's footsteps downstairs and the dogs are flipping shit.

Now the house is old and yeah I'm a believer of ghosts and things along those lines but this was a living breathing flesh bag called human... theres this motion activated light in the house and it flicked on when the footsteps headed into the room the lights in, now you might tell me ghosts can turn it on, but the ghosts here have never turned that light on before, even the one who throws things.

I called down the stairs for the dogs, who were all kenneled for the night and as soon as I called down to the the foot steps stopped.... I stood at the top of the stairs for a minute and just listened when the footsteps started towards the stairs again I took off into my room, told my pet I would call him back, hung up the phone with him and called my Marine friend, who thankfully is in town, and he came over. Yeah I know "call the cops" the only problem with that is they don't do shit in the neighborhood... its a "known" bad part of town, but in reality its not a bad part of town they just have an issue with this area because one of their own got in trouble for being to rough with someone who wasn't resisting.

My marine friend came over and he ended up staying the night, no we didn't check around the house then to see if anything was missing or how the hell this creep got in... I was to scared and he just wanted me to go to bed since I had work in the morning. Mind you this started at 1:00-1:30am I had to be up at 7:00am for work.

I ended up freaking out and wanting to keep going to check on the kids till about 4 am when the marine finally made me lay down and told me to stop. Well when my room mate got home this morning he opened my bedroom door and I almost flew out of bed cuz I was still very much spooked about last night. When he asked if I was okay the whole story tumbled out of my mouth, He went around the house checking everything to see if it was all here still or if it had been stolen, he also check to see how they got in.

You know how some window's have the built in screen on them? you can switch it to glass for winter? Yeah they busted the small screen like glass part of the window at the foot of the stairs and then pushed the window up to get in. they also went around the house and unlocked all the windows downstairs, which the room mate and I locked the day before, and had to re-lock this morning.

Nothing was taken so I don't know why this person was in the house or anything, shit I don't even know who this was, one things for sure though this incident made me even happier I am moving, not saying this wont happen/can't happen in another place, but its happened here while I was awake int he house... I don't want a repeat of this incident. I was scared enough thank you very much x.x

stolen from  nitetigrezz

♥To every guy that said, "Sex can wait"

♥To every guy that said, "You're beautiful"

♥To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her

♥To every guy that gives her flowers and a card when she is sick or down.

♥To every guy who has given her flowers just because thats how he rolls

♥To every guy that said he would die for her.

♥To every guy that really would.

♥To every guy that did what she wanted to die for

♥To every guy that cried in front of her...

♥To every guy that she cried in front of...

♥To every guy that holds hands with her.

♥To every guy that kisses her with meaning..

♥To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

♥To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

♥To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

♥To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

♥To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to
see her for ten minutes

♥To every guy that would give his seat up...

♥To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

♥To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.

♥To every guy who told his secrets to her.

♥To every guy that showed how much he cared through every word and every breath.

♥To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

♥To every guy that believed in her dreams.

♥To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them

♥To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

♥To every guy that walked her to her car and opened the door

♥To every guy that gave his heart.

♥To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore...
And because of this, there are not many left out there...

I guarantee 90% of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image

If you are a nice guy repost this with: "Nice guys STILL finish last"

If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way
repost this with: "To Every Guy"

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1733318/

go go go!!!!

Okay so my friend  siren_phoenix is having a really good art sale. I think you guys should not only watch her but commission her as well. its well worth it ^^ Oh and more journals Pimping her out would be great too. :3 Shes amazing~
Here are her prices:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4415535/

So what have we learned?
1.) Watch
2.) Commission
and 3.) Pimp out so she can get more commissioners!!!

Thanks guys!!!!! much love. ^^

1. What do you think my character would have a job/career in?
2. What is unique about my character that you enjoy?
3. What are his/her flaws?
4. What are some changes you would like to see?
5. What would you like to see my character doing in future pictures?
6. How old does my character look?
7. On a scale of 1-10, how attractive is my character?
8. On a scale to 1-10, how sexually attractive is my character?
9. On a scale to 1-10, how well does my character fit me?
10. If you could, how would you personally change him to fit me better?

I'm getting internet installed TOMORROW!!! Thank Jeebus!!!! It'll be nice to be able to check this and my other stuff more then once a week x.x and not have to drive two or three towns away just to hop online.
Anyway I'm getting ready to have my dog neutered tomorrow get next installed and have 7 doctors appts. Oh jeez fun day.
I miss you guys and can't wait to get back online entirely. See ya soon!!!

Okay so Ruze had to go to the vet because Ruze chewed off her toe. Yeah I know gross. Well anyway at the vets office and the vet goes "so hows this little gir... Ummm Ma'am your cats a Male.." x.x The cat I named after my gama who passed is a male... Ruze means rose in Czech... I'm not changing his name he can be a fem boy...


Oh!!! and...
I have this one picture... I'll have to upload it Its a pron pic...

I was thinking maybe to help me make bills and pay off upcoming vet bills if anyone would be interested in having me recolor it and edit it to match their sona. I have a Male one and a Female one. Once I get them uploaded and relined ((They are Kinda sketchy at the moment)) you guys will have to let me know if anyone would be interested they would only be like... a couple of bucks 5 at the most. >.> Kay thats all .

OMG!!! Pimpage to my "little brother"  Tanio he's got great art and has just started to take you guessed it commissions!!!! check him out and drop him a line they are affordable and welllllll worth the money!!!! heres his prices!! along with some examples.

Commission Prices:
Traditional:

Sketch - $3
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3267919/

Inked - $5


Colored - $7
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2867531/

Digital:

Inked - $5
2 Pictures- $10
3 Pictures- $15

Inked and Colored - $8
2 Pictures- $12
3 Pictures- $17


Colored and Shaded - $12
2 Pictures- $19
3 Pictures- $27
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4299744/


123 GO!!!!!

So I'm back to not having internet again which is going to make school hard. but merf I gotta do what I gotta do. Moving in the beginning of November. Can't wait to get out of this shit hole...

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No .

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.

3. It is harder than it looks, but NO explanations !!! You will want to... but don't!!!


Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --- Yes.

Been arrested? --- No.

Kissed someone you didn't like? --- No.

Slept in until 5 PM? --- Yes.

Fallen asleep at work/school? --- Yes.

Ran a red light? --- No.

Been suspended from school? --- yes

Experienced love at first sight? --- No.

Totalled your car in an accident? --- No.

Been fired from a job? --- No.

Fired somebody? --- No.

Sang karaoke? ---yes

Pointed a gun at someone? --- No.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- yes

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- yes.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes.

Kissed in the rain? --- yes

Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- yes

Seen someone die? --- Yes.

Played spin-the-bottle? --- yes.

Sang in the shower? --- Yes.

Smoked a cigar? --- no

Sat on a rooftop? --- yes

Taken pictures of yourself naked? ---no

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- yes

Skipped school? --- no.

Eaten a bug? --- No.

Sleepwalked? --- yes

Walked a moonlit beach? --- No.

Ridden a motorcycle? --- Yes.

Dumped someone? --- no...

Forgotten your anniversary? --- yes

Lied to avoid a ticket? --- No.

Ridden on a helicopter? --- No.

Shaved your head? --- No.

Blacked out from drinking? --- No.

Played a prank on someone? --- Yes.

Hit a home run? ---yes.

Felt like killing someone? --- Yes.

Cross-dressed? --- Yes.

Been falling-down drunk? --- yes.

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- Yes.

Eaten snake? --- No.

Marched/Protested? --- No.

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- No.

Puked on amusement ride? --- No.

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- yes

Been in a band? --yes.

Knitted? --- No.

Been on TV? --- No.

Shot a gun? --- No.

Skinny-dipped? ---yes

Caused someone to need stitches? --- yes

Ridden a surfboard? --- No.

Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- Yes.

Had surgery? --- no

Streaked? --- No.

Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- No.

Passed out when not drinking? ---yes.

Peed on a bush? --- yes.

Donated Blood? --- yes.

Grabbed electric fence? --- Yes.

Eaten alligator meat? --- No.

Eaten cheesecake? --- Yes.

Eaten kids' Halloween candy? --- Yes.

Killed an animal when not hunting? --- no

Peed your pants in public? --- No.

Written graffiti? --- yes

Still love someone you shouldn't? ---yes.

Think about the future? --- Yes.

Been in handcuffs? ---yes.

Believe in love? --- Yes.

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- Yes.

A- AVAILABLE: mhm

B - BIRTHDAY: March 23

C - CRUSHING ON: no one.

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Pomegranate vitamin water

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: right now? and my pet Michael

F - FAVORITE SONG: currently for your entertainment by adam lambert

G - GUMMY: uhhhh .... <,<

H - HOMETOWN: Jefferson

I - IN LOVE WITH: my animals....

J - JUGGLE: school work and friends.

K - KILLED SOMEONE: in my dreams

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Ohio to Arizona soon to be Ohio to Cali....

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Strawberry

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: Older sister older brother 2 younger brothers and 1 younger sister so..5 (thats not including me. ))

O - ONE WISH: .....

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: ummmm...... Work before that it was Michael.

Q- QUOTE: Don't have one.

R- REASON TO SMILE: leaving this hell hole in Nov.

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: La torte

T - TIME YOU WOKE: 12:50 pm

U- UMBRELLA: stupid Rhianna song...

V - VEGETABLE(S): huh?

W - WORST HABIT: biting.

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: my knees and wrist.

Y – YOYOS ARE: a bundle of fun?

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarius

1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Film:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of FA?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

Kay so  Flit is offering these neat little 'Wot' icons. Go watch him. Pimp him out and get yours. XD Dooooooeeeetttttttttt Please?

Alright. So.

I'm moving. In October.

I know... like... 3 people there... maybe 4... but they are like... 5 hours away from where I will be living. Sooooooo I'm kinda sorta maybe looking for friends out that way... >.> I don't do well with the whole making new friends thing.... But I'm going to give it a try.

So I'm moving to Cali. Any fur's that want a friend randomly thats moving in October let me know please? I'll be bored till I find a job. x.x and I might need help finding one.

So heres to that for now.

I'm bored. and still slightly confused and out of it since my Gama's passing. So as a distraction I've decided that I want to start talking to random people and they can help me not space out as much. However doing this is difficult because I don't have the internet at my house and Have to go to a friends to be able to use the net and I can't do that every night. So I get limited to my cell phone. XD if you want to bother me via text or random calls send me your number in a note and I'll message you as soon as I can. ^^ This way I don't have to much time to think about stuff and I get to know people better rather then being my normal anti social self. :P

So the funeral was today, it was nice for the most part. No one fought... though my aunt asked my grandfather inappropriate questions while we were there. All in all it was nice and Gama would have loved it.

I still have no net at my new place.
In other news my gama passed away on the 17th... I've kinda been spacey since. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers for her.

I'm all messed up in the head at the moment... theres a lot going on and I just don't know what to do anymore. on top of Josh getting in a motorcycle accident my gama was rushed to the ER the other night, Josh is doing a little better everyday, however gama is getting worse and each time the doctors tell us a time limit after seeing her its shorter and shorter. So I was driving home from Josh's moms house the other night and I hit my first animal ever, a cat. I pull the car over to see if it was still alive and if I needed to take it to a vet or something. Well the cat ws dead so I went to move it off the road so it wasn't getting hit by anything and everything that went by, well as I'm moving the cat a freaking Kitten pops up from under her... I killed a momma kitty and started balling my eyes out. I moved the momma kitty off the road picked up the kitten and went home. I still have the kitten, its a little girl she's about 3 months old we think. not to sure. Yesterday named her after being told that gama is just getting worse and worse and she's not coming home from the hospital ever again. The new kittens name is Růže Which means Rose in czech and Slovak, which is my gama's heritage and her mother used to say czech words all the time. Rose is also my gama's name.... my kitten is named after my gama. I told gama when I went and saw her the other day and she smiled and said I can't wait to see her.... But she knows she's not coming home.... she also said she's done fighting this stuff... she just wants it all to end... I'm going nuts and sadly one of the people I thought I could turn to has to make it about him and tell me that he's having a hard time too... this happened or that happened....he expects me to stop crying and say oh poor you you have it so bad Why am I complaining when you have it worse? Which at the moment is NOT whats going to happen. I'm tearing myself apart inside right now mentally as I sit here and watch my Gama die... she's deteriating... and its killing me... she's what holds me here in this place... she's the real reason I came home from Missouri when I was there.... If she goes... I'm done here... I don't want to stay where they are only going to yell at me for every little thing.... anywho I wanted to give you guys an update and let you know that Josh is doing a little better and that any and all prayers are appreciated for both him and my Gama... and my Gumpa for that matter... He's started to not eat since all the stuff is going on with Gama... Please and thank you all.

So my attempt to get internet has failed. I have to try going through someone else. I'm working on getting the internet as fast as I possibly can. I miss you guys!!!! <3

Oh... I have a favor as well... My friend... almost like my brother.... was in a bad accident He hit a deer while riding on his motorcycle... His necks broke and he's in the ER and stuff has a neck brace and as of right now he's stable. but we aren't sure exactly whats going on. THanks