https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11054944/

Check it out!

Hello I'm back!

The harddrive corrupted but it has been rebuilt and I am ready to rejoin the land of arting. No one look at me I am going to draw so much chilaios it's going to be embarrassing

I mean more than usual

Hello my computer has tragically passed away so being unhinged will have to wait

I'm trying to see if it can be repaired but in the meantime I probably won't be posting as much art

Hoping to try some rubbish mobile doodles at least, or maybe even traditional art?

We'll see!

Here's a list of tags that I've been suggested or asked to use, and will put on all future submissions! I am also currently in the process of adding these tags to older submissions, but please be aware this is NOT complete yet OKAY I think I've gotten all of the currently listed tags, please let me know if I've missed anything

If you have something you would like me to tag, feel free to ask here or note me for privacy

If you notice I've forgotten a tag on a submission, please let me know!

cw tags:
- domsub
- slavery
- abuse
- amputation
- gore
- mlp
- humanoid

I haven't been using FA tags at all, but are there any tags you'd like me to start using so you can block?

You can also note me if you want it to be private

My toyhouse has been a mess but I'm finally just about through getting it all organised again! I think I need to go through and put a few characters in different folders, but that can wait

I want to draw more of my OCs but it's always so hard picking what to do. I think I'm going to try to go back to a thing I was doing a few years ago where I just randomise which one I draw next

Mostly just wanted to say the plan part aloud somewhere so I have a little pressure to actually do it

About time to bump that journal anyway

Hi. Obviously I've gotten into animating suddenly. Dunno what this is about but I'm having fun. Hope I'm not annoying anyone

Content warning, discussions about sex and personal sexuality

Have just been thinking about how much my approach to sex has changed in the past year, completely due to to my friends

I'm asexual, and have been severely sex repulsed for most of my life. I'm in a non-sexual relationship and even looking at depictions and conversations about sex have been difficult for me at best, along with the difficulties that come with being an asexual man in a world where men are expected to be hypersexual. I had just kind of accepted that my relationship with sex was always going to be a little contentious, and any sexual content in my life was going to lowkey trigger me

If you've seen me draw porn before this, it's always been a little hard for me. The best way I can describe it is dissociative. That's part of the reason I tended not to post it to my galleries, because I didn't want it sneaking up on me

I really love to write with my friends, though, and one particular story ended up with me playing a promiscuous character for the first time. This was a really important story for me, written with one of my best friends who I trust, and we developed the characters and world so well that also for the first time, I felt safe depicting (fairly softcore) adult content of this character

After that, sex crept into a few of my other stories with my friends, who were all super supportive and patient with me, and I got to appreciate having a new layer of characterisation to explore. It wasn't super erotic or anything, but I felt safe exploring it with them

And then I joined the Dungeon Meshi fandom scene, and I met my freaks

Honestly it was a little jarring at first because the server was so completely and entirely adult focused. Uncensored porn and sex discussions everywhere, I'd never been in an environment like that before, but they were so friendly and welcoming that I tried to push past my initial discomfort with it

Pretty soon it wasn't just a place to chat, I started really liking them. I wanted to be part of the experience with them, I wanted to make things that made them react like the rest of the art they were drawing and sharing. I started drawing porn. I got tons of positive feedback. Looking at my own adult art slowly stopped making my brain react like it was being attacked. Then it expanded to art by my friends

'Oh, this is exposure therapy,' I realised eventually, but it took me this long like a moron

Finally, I was writing and talking about sex with my partner of ten years for the first time

It's about five months since I met my freaks, and my life has completely changed. I still don't want to have sex, and probably never will, but an aspect of creativity has been opened to me. It's fixed a struggle I thought was going to be with me my entire life, I have a new outlook on my own art, and it's given me a bunch of new friends that are super important to me

It's not perfect, I still have a way to go before I'm entirely comfortable with sex and sexuality, but I'm really proud of the progress I've made, even if it wasn't intentional

I love my friends. Thanks for being a bunch of horny weirdos

Want to bump the kind of aggressive journal off my page

Tell me something that's going on with you?

Hello! This has happened a few times recently so

If you want to buy one of my OCs I don't mind being asked but

1. You have to be okay with me saying no
2. You need to not tell me I'm wasting the character because I'm not drawing them currently

I write, I draw, I roleplay, I might be using a character in a way that you can't see. And if I'm not? It's not anyone's business but mine. Yes I hoard characters. They are digital creations that I have made or paid for, it's not hurting anyone to have them gather dust, and it's up to me to decide how I use them and if they should be rehomed

Again, you can ask, just respect my boundaries here please

Sorry to be a little aggressive about it but I'm tired of having this conversation

I have overwhelmed myself with the amount of things I am making myself do right now

and I are writing fanfics that are basically novels, I've got my own fanfics going too, I've got a drawn AU, I'm drawing nonstop fanart, and I also have a four character poly story I need to draw for, I've got kinktober lined up, characters with that I'd like to do more with, and I've just made three new OCs yesterday

I think I need to calm down a little

I want to doodle other people's OCs!

Drop your references and tell me a little about your character/what you might like them doing and I might draw them

Any species or gender fine

Hello! It's been almost five months since my last journal so figured it was time

Fun stuff first

So my furry art is still pretty sparse because I've been drawing an absolute ton of Dungeon Meshi art with my friends - in fact, I've just counted and I've drawn over one hundred images of one ship. And a fair bit of them are comics! I'm usually more of an OC artist, but occasionally I do get into these fanart phases, and this time since I'm drawing with a whole bunch of friends it's been really easy to stay obsessed

I still don't like to fill my gallery with humans though, especially not 100+ images worth, but I do have a few pieces I'm pretty proud of and might put up here anyway. Would anyone be bothered?

-

Slightly harder stuff, mental health struggles below

While I feel pretty good creatively, my mental health is failing me unfortunately, and has been deteriorating gradually for the past four months or so. I owe my partner so much for picking up my slack and basically taking care of me while I can't eat or sleep

We had a little bit of a scare this month where my psychiatrist was considering hospitalisation to get my meds in order, but she decided my support system was more important so I don't have to go for right now. However my symptoms are worsening, my meds need fussing with really badly, and I need to get assigned a new psychiatrist because my one is leaving, so the stress of that isn't helping I imagine

Drawing is one of the only things keeping me on some kind of stability I think, and my connections with it to my friends

-

And that's largely been my life for the past five months. Thanks for reading if you got this far!

How are things going with you? Comment with something that's happened with you recently, if you feel like it

Last journal was wrong

This is one of the worst instances of art block I've ever had

Art sometime, hopefully?

Journal title! More art when I can actually draw

Check out 's watcher raffle!

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10823531/

False alarm! I tried it again today and it's working again for some reason, zombie tablet gets to live another day

I will still save up for a replacement because clearly it is on its last legs anyway

My tablet decided it was done existing today, unfortunately

I'm going to do my best to save up for a new one but it might be awhile, they're a little expensive and I don't make a lot of money. In the meantime I can draw on different tools but it might not look very good, or at least it might look very different

I'll see how much I can manage with what I have. Thanks for reading!

Bird noises

I just wanted to address having adult art on toyhou.se because I've gotten a few questions about it. Well some questions, and some not so nice comments on it to be honest. So to avoid future problems:

Sometimes I draw sexual adult art of my characters, I post it to my characters' galleries on toyhou.se, you might see it if you follow me there. I mark it properly so please make sure you have your filters up if this bothers you!

Most often the adult art is for characters I share with a specific friend, because they like to commission me for it. Sorry I won't take adult art requests/trades/commissions from people who aren't close friends generally

I still prefer to not be sent sexual content, especially without content warnings, and from people who I don't know very well

I don't post sexual adult art in my FA gallery or tumblr, that's just a personal preference

And last bit, I'm asexual, not a child or prude. It's not like I don't know what sex is, come on

Hello! I've had an emergency vet bill that's completely sapped my funds and I'm planning to make a few YCHs to try and recover a bit! Would really appreciate some input for what sort of scenes you'd be interested in

The ideas I had were cute couple pictures, petplay scenes, and generic solo poses in front of finished scenery? Also thought maybe some chibi ones that would be cheaper. Would anyone be interested in any of these?

Also would you prefer flat prices, or auction? (I don't like multislot YCHs so each one will be a one off)

Thanks for reading!

Title! Hope everyone has a good 2024 and if you're doing anything to celebrate you have a good time~

Found a bunch of forgotten OCs in my art files. Do these count as old or new characters if I use them again?

Just wanted to get that other journal off my main page, and now I've done so

Last year about this time I was put on an antipsychotic, and I noticed a few things almost immediately

1. Drawing became my absolute favourite thing to do, I started turning out a ton more art

2. The content of my art switched to being primarily kink related

3. I also started making way more new characters

4. I can no longer tolerate a lot of hobbies I used to like, such as watching movies, video games, reading, etc.

The way my new meds work is by blocking dopamine, which is both good and bad. The good news is, my psychotic symptoms have significantly reduced. The bad news is that I can't really get a dopamine fix from things anymore, and I have ADHD so I already have an issue with my dopamine receptors, so basically this medication is making my ADHD worse

The only things I can seem to enjoy anymore, apparently, are art and new OCs and kinky nonsense

And food, I really enjoy eating

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, except to basically say sorry for the shift in my art, and here's an explanation for why my focus is the way that it is. I can't get off of this medication, at least right now, so it's going to stay this way. Thanks for reading if you got here, take care

Changing Veil's name because my friend's OC also has the same name and it is getting confusing to have us both talking about them in the group chat at the same time

Mine is newer so I'm volunteering to be the one that changes! Their name is Moth now