- Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
- Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
- Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
- Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
- Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
- Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
- Day Seven: Four turn offs.
- Day Eight: Three turn ons.
- Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
- Day Ten: One confession.

1. I am a biomedical engineering student.

2. I lack motivation a lot of the time.

3. I am pansexual.

4. I am very, very into Doctor Who.

5. I consider myself a budding PnP gamer.

6. I consider myself to be of the chaotic good alignment in real life.

7. I enjoy knitting, crocheting, writing, and creating music. I play the guitar, bass, ukulele, harmonica, recorder, flute (a bit), jaw harp, and other instruments as I get my hands on them.

8. I consider myself genderless.

9. I feel like the most important quality I have is loyalty to my friends.

- Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
- Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
- Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
- Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
- Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
- Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
- Day Seven: Four turn offs.
- Day Eight: Three turn ons.
- Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
- Day Ten: One confession.

W- You are a good friend, and it really does hurt when you never believe that I actually do like you very very much as a person and I'm not mad at you like ever. I can understand why, and I don't blame you, but I just hope I can get it through to you. I know you're going through some shit with school, and believe me, I'm feeling the same stuff like that. Also, you're hot, but that's not exactly related.

C- I just wish I could get through to you. I want you to get better, but I know I haven't been doing anything towards that, and I know that's not my fault. But I wish I was equipped to help.

D- Despite what it may look like, I really want to help. I sincerely apologize for my frustration. Sometimes, I feel like there is nothing I can do. I hope you will explain things to me more in the future.

S- For all the times I've inconvenienced you or complained or told you off for doing the wrong thing, I really love you, I really appreciate all the things you do for me, and I only want to help you.

A- Where do I start? You're just amazing, and I feel that just knowing you is a privilege, let alone the relationship we have together. It is always wonderful to be around you, to talk with you. I know times may very well be hard in the future, but I promise to be there for you no matter what, and you know that my word is bond. I am always glad to see any of your works, be it art or writing, or anything else you turn your hands to. Other artists may have better technique, but there is never any other artist that is you better. Also, you're hot.

R- I really wish we could be better friends than we are now. I wish the wedge that has driven us apart had never done so, because beyond it all, I see a decent but troubled person. But, for so many reasons, I took the side opposite yours, and I have defended it vehemently. If I were given a chance to react to this again, I would have done the same thing, perhaps better, with more knowledge on my side, but my opinion would most certainly have stayed the same. I wish you luck, and I hope that someday we can all put this behind us.

M- You don't know how much it means to me to have someone in my family I can actually relate to on a decent level. Well, maybe you do, but that doesn't make me any less glad for it.

JS- Sometimes I wonder why I get along so well with you. Our opinions are polar opposites, and sometimes I think some of the things you say are downright loathsome. But you are a really good guy, kind, and loyal to your friends, and I feel like you are slowly thinking through your opinions and positions more. Also, please, no more racist jokes?

JF- You will always be one of my closest friends. I feel kinda bad leaving it so short, but there isn't really much more else to say.

JL- I appreciate all you have done and do, and all the effort you put in. I wish things were different, and better. I know just getting a job is not really always possible, and the job market is weird and stupid. I hope the thing you've been doing works out, and I really hope you can find something.

Stolen from  aurathewolf

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No .

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.

3. It is harder than it looks, but NO explanations !!! You will want to... but don't!!!


Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? ---Yes
Been arrested? --- No
Kissed someone you didn't like? ---No
Slept in until 5 PM? --- Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? ---Yes
Ran a red light? ---Yes
Been suspended from school? ---Yes
Experienced love at first sight? ---No
Totalled your car in an accident? ---No
Been fired from a job? ---Yes
Fired somebody? ---No
Sang karaoke? ---No
Pointed a gun at someone? ---No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? ---Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? ---Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? ---No
Kissed in the rain? ---No
Had a close brush with death (your own)? ---Yes
Seen someone die? ---No
Played spin-the-bottle? ---No
Sang in the shower? ---Yes
Smoked a cigar? ---No
Sat on a rooftop? ---Yes
Taken pictures of yourself naked? ---No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? ---No
Skipped school? ---Yes
Eaten a bug? ---Yes
Sleepwalked? ---No
Walked a moonlit beach? ---No
Ridden a motorcycle? ---No
Dumped someone? ---No
Forgotten your anniversary? ---Yes
Lied to avoid a ticket? ---No
Ridden on a helicopter? ---No
Shaved your head? ---No
Blacked out from drinking? ---No
Played a prank on someone? ---Yes
Hit a home run? ---No
Felt like killing someone? ---Yes
Cross-dressed? ---No
Been falling-down drunk? ---No
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? ---Yes
Eaten snake? --- No
Marched/Protested? ---Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? ---No
Puked on amusement ride? ---No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? ---No
Been in a band? ---No
Knitted? ---Yes
Been on TV? ---Yes
Shot a gun? ---No
Skinny-dipped? ---No
Caused someone to need stitches? ---No
Ridden a surfboard? ---No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? ---Yes
Had surgery? ---Yes
Streaked? ---No
Taken by ambulance to hospital? ---No
Passed out when not drinking? ---No
Peed on a bush? ---Yes
Donated Blood? ---No
Grabbed electric fence? ---No
Eaten alligator meat? ---No
Eaten cheesecake? ---Yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? ---Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? ---No
Peed your pants in public? ---Yes
Written graffiti? ---Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? ---Yes
Think about the future? ---Yes
Been in handcuffs? ---No
Believe in love? ---Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? ---Yes

I always feel if there is more I can do, things I've done wrong, things I could have done. Maybe I'll never feel satisfied with my own limitations. I know I do a lot, but I want so badly to do everything.

I don't want her to hurt anymore.

Maybe it's hurting me. I've been feeling lethargic the past few days. Maybe that's unrelated. I don't know.

I just want things to go right. For once.

Maybe I shouldn't have wished that she'd get better on my birthday, I didn't get anything I wanted on my birthday this year, so why would I get what I wanted the most?

She's more important to me than anything.

My mom has been making a big deal about me learning to drive.

Since I was 16 I have been expected to be really excited about learning to drive. I never really have been. Call it immaturity or maturity or whatever. Make judgments on me, maybe they're true, maybe they aren't. I recognized that cars were really expensive, that insurance is really expensive, that I'd have to go to work and end up keeping less money just to support a vehicle if I had my own car, and even if I didn't, that I'd have to pay the difference in my mom's premium.

My mom keeps trying to tempt me with all the wonderful things I could do with a car. She's been doing this a lot, year after year, usually during the summer, thinking my brain will change and I won't be able to learn it properly, ignoring the fact that my definite strong suit is learning how to do stuff, even my desired career path is in learning how to do stuff (research science).

But, this year is different.

This year I actually have emotions attached to driving. But it's not a desire for freedom, that's why I want to get/fix up a bicycle.

It's shame.

For those of you (if anyone besides people who I could have told this privately even exist) who know my mate, she's been having a lot of health difficulties lately. I'll leave it to her and her journal to expound on those. I have been trying very hard to be helpful. How helpful I've actually been, I'll leave for her to judge. But if there's one thing that sticks out in my head, it's how I could have helped, but didn't.

Simply, I could have helped by being able to drive.

I don't know how much of a difference it would have made. It's not like her health problems were caught late because of me. They were caught early, and the prognosis is good for what it is. But there's one possibility in my mind, not so much in terms of health but in terms of something that might have happened had this been done earlier, that might not happen now.

Quite likely, I am taking too much on my heart. From a detached, outside point of view, it seems like it. I have a bad habit of blaming myself.

But it feels wrong to my heart, and it feels even more wrong that I haven't taken steps to rectify this earlier in the summer.

So yes, now I'm driven to learn to drive, mom, but it's not to go hang out late nights with friends. It's to drive my mate to the hospital or doctor if she needs it. It's not about freedom or mobility, because I don't feel I even stand to gain either. It's about being helpful and loyal and getting the best for my friends.

I am sorry for my failings, and hope you will forgive me.

For  aurathewolf

I'd just like to commemorate your birthday in a journal post. It's time to celebrate another year of you, and you mean so much to me *hug*.

Stolen from  aurathewolf

STUFFS ABOUT YOU --

*Name: Barry
*Nicknames: Kit, Vegetariancannibal, Kitsuneofdoom, "The Barrister" (please don't), Ukulele guy, Knitting guy, Recorder guy, "That weird boingy thing" (Jaw harp) guy
*Zodiac Sign: Cancer
*Eye Color: Greenish brown
*Hair color: Brown
*Height: Short
*Weight: Overweight
*Someone you look like: Otacon (but fatter)

*Right or Left Handed: Right
*Right or Left Footed: Right, probably
*Sexual Orientation: Pansexual
*Piercings/Tattoos: Nope
*How many siblings: One
*Pets: 3
*Could you make a dollar in change right now?: Dunno

FAVORITE…
*Kind of pants: Jeans/Jeanshorts
*Number: 9
*Color: purple or black
*Animal: Fox
*Drink: Tea. And done properly. Nothing like a good oolong.
*Sports: Badminton, but I pretty much hate sports.
*Juice: Cranberry
*Cartoon Character: The Doctor was animated once (actually, more like 5 times...) so he counts...
*Scent: Chocolate
*Time of the Day: Midnight
*Car: Bicycle.

HAVE YOU EVER…?
*Bungee Jumped?: No.
*Sky Dived?: No.
*Made yourself throw-up?: I think once..
*Gone skinny dipping?: No.
*Eaten a dog?: Vegetarian?
*Ever liked somebody that you didn’t have a chance with?: Yes
*Been in a mosh-pit?: No.
*Been on radio/television?: Yes. Quiz bowl.
*Been in a porno?: No.
*Been high?: On caffiene. Enough tea will do that to you.
*Been drunk?: Slightly. Enough mead will do that to you. I only need like a glass xD.
*Been on a plane?: Yes.
*Came close to dying?: Almost got run over a few times.
*Been in a sauna?: No
*Been in a hot-tub?: No.
*Swam in the ocean?: Does the Long Island Sound count?
*Fallen asleep in school?: All of Junior year.
*Run away?: Yep.
*Run-away from home?: Yep
*Fell off your chair?: Yep
*Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call?: Sat by the computer all night waiting for someone to sign on.
*Saved MSN/AIM conversations?: Automatically set to. Sorry.
*Saved e-mails?: Gmail saves them for me!

DO YOU…?
*Like to eat?: Depends what it is.
*Like talking on the phone? Not really.
*Care if different foods touch together on your plate?: I mix them up.
*Get motion sick?: Sometimes.
*Eat healthy?: I try, but badly.
*Have an addiction to anything?: Probably
*Call people names often?: No.
*Dream in color?: Always. I get smells and touches and tastes too.
*Have a strange/bad habit?: Yes.
*Get turned on easily? Depends on what it is.
*Like your school/job?: I have grown a bit annoyed with my major, and I need a job.
*Like filling out stupidly-long surveys like this one?: If I hated it...

WHAT IS/WHAT ARE…?
*Your good luck charm: I used to have one.
*Your theme song: Depends on what I like at the moment.
*The last thing you played with: Guitar
*The last thing you ate: Pez
*Items sitting next to you: Pez. Papers. My TV. Pillows. An old laptop.
*The color of your underwear: Uh, white?
*Your greatest fear(s): Death of loved ones.
*A strange food you eat: Oatmeal with hot sauce.
*A strange drink you like: Hot Chocolate with hot sauce
*The last thing to sleep in your bed: Me.
*Under your bed: I've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor lately. When I get a proper bed again, a lot.
*Your funniest memory: I have a lot.
*The time you usually go to bed: between Midnight and 11:59 PM

EVER HAD…
*Chicken pox: Yes.
*Stitches: Head, hands, mouth.
*Surgery: Oral only.
*A broken bone: No.
*Love at first sight: No.

THIS OR THAT…
*Scary or Funny Movies: Funny
*Chocolate or Vanilla: Yes.
*Root Beer or Dr.Pepper: Root beer.
*Skiing or Snowboarding: Skiiing.
*Summer or Winter: Winter.

RANDOM!!!
*Dogs or Cats: Cats.
*Favorite Flower: Dandelion.
*Have you ever fired a gun?: No.
*Do you prefer travel by plane or car?: Plane.
*How many pillows do you sleep with?: 2 or 3
*Obsessive Compulsive?: A bit?
*Diseases?: I don't think anything.
*Disorders?: Probably nothing diagnosable, maybe depression.
*Good Driver?: Can't drive.
*Good Singer?: I need practice.
*Do you own a lava-lamp?: No.
*Do you prefer your toilet paper over-and-out or back-and-under: I don't really care.
*How many kids do you want?: At most 2.
*What will you name them? Dweezil and Moon Unit.
*Bothered that some questions have “:”s and others have “?”s?: I don't care.
*Ever been in a fight with your pet? Not really.
*What book are you reading now? None.
*Interesting turn-on or fetish: Transformation.
*First thing you notice visually about someone of the opposite gender: Witty t-shirt. Possibly hair.
*Foods that you LOVE: Chocolate
*That you HATE: Gonna have to concur with Aura on the String Beans.