These past few days have been really good, lots of much need sleep between working, and just in a general good mood. Oddly, I've been productive which is a nice change up, however I've got reasons to be so. I'll not state the reasons for, they are very personal reasons, but they all know whom they are. Aside that, work as picked back up after the holidays which means more hours and more money. ~.=.^ , of which I'm glade for. Art wise, I should have had some projects down by now, but I'm one of those ADD/ADHD type of artist. I can't just work on one project at one given time or I'll burn out on it.

Anyway, its about time for me to head off to work. I hope everyone has had a good week so far, and I hope your weekend looks to be bright to. Hope to see some of you in a few weeks or our next meet. SO can't wait to start planning for FWA 2014....I'm hell bent on going. With best regards I remain truly,


Klynolder

My day started off ruff, but I'll tell you. It just better, and better as it went. An to think I have a wonderful weekend to look forward to, that is once I get off work at 4 or 5.

I hate the feeling of 'being in peoples ways,'.... Even when I'm not, sometimes other people just feel the needs to treat or act higher and mightier then me. Makes me wonder if being equal, is just the same damn thing. Equal; term used to make lesser being feel ok about being lesser.

Fuck you 1-07-2014..... fuck you.

I remember almost over two years ago, I was in a very unstable mental place. It was effecting a lot of the aspects of my life in more ways than I can count. For some I can't ever give detail of this, nor would I dare speak a word out of fear of it returning to bite me in the ass. I still at times, try to understand the basic meaning of my emotions when I find myself dealing with unknowns. Someone would say I filter or shut off, and hide myself away unless I'm a few sheets to the wind drunk, or just had enough of something or trust someone. I do long to come out of my so call shell, and enjoy life and have fun but...apart of me still sees there is price to pay for anything and everything you do in the long run.

Everyone has heard, what one does effects others. An time and time again I find myself doing what I feel will best either (a) protect them for embracement of dealing with me, (b) casting a form of judgment which depends on the person. Some I don't care if they do, others that care close to me, and ones I love and care for I keep in mind on all my actions. One would think that after 32 years I wouldn't be still questioning everything little thing I do, seeking some meaning by what I do, or how it effects others. Why should I care, when the vast millions of most others could give two shits to the wind? Those a new year spawns before me, and I do not wish to take a step back, I want to move forward. Do better than before and feel pride in what I do not, guilt for anything.

Oh I wrote a book, lol. But I do find expressing my limited mind and limited emotional leak does help deal with a lot of personal issues. So what I didn't get to complete my art completion goal. I'm sure most of many on here have done pretty much the same, but there is a few that will say 'no' in a show of 'I am all powerful' time fursons. Wow I need to work on not be so bitter lol, but what is done, is done. Now time for some much needed sleep, tired dragons are not easy ones to deal with or tangle with. Even our own minds tend to be primal when lack of sleep takes over. With best regards, I remain...


--Klynolder--

Wow, and the most important thing is I got to meet and carry new friends with me into another epic year. These last 3 have not been easy by no means, a lot of things one must to do to refind themselves. However now I'm at the age that I've come to understand that is not health. So, I plan to just let me, be me and be done with it. Being about to be around those I care for, and those that support me, has been the biggest and greatest blessing I could have for the new year. Now the seed is planted it is my turn now to see that it grows. So 2014, lets see who ends up on top.

Sitting here in the parking lot of my job. It a grey day, nice an cool, but I don't want to be here. I've got art projects that have me wanting to lock myself away till they are done. *sigh* Why????

Marry Christmas everyone, and Happy Yule. The Journal goes out to those whom feel they are alone on this very special time of year. I how it seems hard, when you want for family or someone to just be there in you life to share something with. We all have those times even when we are around those that love us. Nevertheless, one must always remember that our memoires, longing and wanting are just like the very lights of a Yule Tree. These lights always burn deep in our hearts and this brings us all to together.

For you Military Furs out there, know we think and support you 100% and hope that your holiday was filled with some form of joy. An to my dear old friends and even new ones, this is also for you. You've helped me step into a new coming year feeling more empowered than ever before. This is the greatest gift I could ever have. So call it how you want, but much Love, Life, and Light be with you on this day. Love you all. With best regards, I remain

Klyn

So a lot of things remain the same, while a lot has changed. Not so much the world as everyone see it. We all live in a sphere of how the world around us works. All guided my emotions, some we control with great mastery an skill, other emotions we lose our self to. Everyone each year wants to make a change in their lives; lose weight, get a better job, make new friends, etc.

Despite all that greed, ego, misplaced pride, selfishness with anger, an even low self confidence always eats at the heals of most. So I challenge those to make a list of what they really want to fix about themselves in the mind and heart.

My List:
Self confidence; why do I have this issue. I lack self trust and my faith in me has waned in the last few years. I want confidence without major ego. This is a hard balance to maintain, most of what others see of me is what I think they expect to see.

My Pride; sadly my pride comes from knowing those around me are safe an cared for. Loyal is a little way of putting what I am. Yet it comes with a price, one that I tend to think I need others to define me.

Asking for Help; this is by far my weakness. Feeling that asking for help, talking about issues , will be a burden on those I care for. Something I need to work on.

That's my list for the new year.

This has been a rough month from the start. Seems no matter where I turn something is always drawing me away from working on my artwork. Be it my job, and loved ones, friends and family. But when other people's worlds depend on you getting things done for them, it feels that they tend to forget I am a person myself an not a thing. But today, I feel like an object, a tool to picked up and used then put back once done. No thank you, or smiles from others, but aside that I still have to smile because I knew I did something to make someone feel good about themselves.

So many people these days are so wrapped up in their own worlds they don't stop to think about those who do for them. Yes in life we all have a lot of things to do in this day and age. Dead lines, work, family and friends and it does feel like nothing we want to do ever gets done. Yet one must learn to look at it from another angle, one that tends to get over looked. Remember all the things you do for others, may seem like it takes away from your own time, but it doesn't. You are doing what it takes to make sure the ones you care for, or those whom depend on you are not lacking in anything. Their smiles, and seeing them stand after helping should be more than enough for one to notice that you are doing what you should do. That your in turn are doing for you and seeing a bigger picture of life. That's when you notice that life is not all about you and your wants, needs, and desire. You notice that you may no fit into groups or social standings, but you stand on your own free will and do.

So I say these words to those whom feel down and out. You don't fit in to social groups or others because you are the outside force that gives them peace of mind. Knowing that things are being handled and taken care of. This is my focus in life, so I wonder who else is like that.

--Klyn--

Nelian (Neil-ann): Heru Nolder (meaning male Dragon); Has the color of amber with golden red tips, and eyes the color of obsidian. The Nolder of Innovations, new beginnings and new hopes. For within his power, he can help one over to believe in themselves and to be confident for all shall be well. For when called upon he also allows one to draw their own boundaries. he is known to be flirtatious and at times have the power of addiction.

With the Key of Optimism he holds the elemental powers of fire; giving the power for the removal of what is no longer needed. His other form is that of the phoenix which gives him the power of transformation and rebirth.

I had a hoot and a blast, and well couldn't keep from grinning from ear to ear. It was nice to meet other furs in the area, and spend some time seeing people smile. Been along time from when I could relax even if it was a few minutes. Yeah I got to show some of my art, if you want to call it that, an I got to take some realty ok pictures of some furs. However I didn't get to stay long to take more. May have been for the best on that part, being I can get carried away.

So its nice to say I think I may have made one or two friends, we'll see how that plays or pans out. An maybe...I'll get me a suit made. Just not fuzzy.

Well job 1 is finally going to end this Friday. YAY!!!! Means I can focus on getting back working on my artwork so I can get commissions and make that job 2. I'll miss this old job, but I"m happy to be able to drop back to normal easy flow of life. Cuase these last few months have been a killer on my sleep and body. I kinda want to have a party for all the hard work I've done, but I decide that I'll not do that, means I have an ego after all and that for me is not always a good thing.

Nonetheless, those of you who have supported, given me strenght when I needed it. Thank you, your compassion and love has helped carry me in these last few rough moments. With that said, this means I can sit back, relax some and enjoy life this coming winter.

This Forsyth meet is still happening, y'all! Don't forget! All relevant information can be found here:

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5130688/

It's a lot of information in one journal, which may be why it didn't get any comments, but here's a rundown [copypaste]:

What: Fursuiting in Forsyth Park! Bring food! Bring friends! Draw stuff! Have fun!
Where: On a map, it'd be where the word 'Fountain is, or the triangles around the blue section.
When: Saturday, November 9th starting at 1:00pm. I want to have plenty of daytime for photos and such, and give people who can't make it until later a chance to still arrive in time for fun!
How: If you're in need of transport to or from, leave a comment! Carpools have worked in the past, because Savannah is a pretty comfy little area, so don't hesitate if you want to make it but don't have a way of getting there - we'll find ya one!

Seeya there!