That is all.

I wanted unconditional love, so I got two cats. That should tell you everything you need to know about my personality. Schroeder and Scavenger are their names.

Right so, a few details about the happenings of my disappearance. Just bullet points, right so in the process of keeping sister and mother from being homeless my father and I ended up losing our home. Plus pretty much everything we owned. Blah blah blah, both working, living in motel, my mental state going to Hell. Females want more, we have none they say we are being selfish. Screaming at them both over phone then had something like a panic attack slash seizure. They just hear me crashing into things then falling, then cops showing up. No more calls for a while, get a place to live. Get back into university classes, life getting good. Mental state still flawed but stable, get phone call females need money. Tell them there isn't any and that there is a good chance I may be going into a mental hospital permanently. Call me selfish, hang up.

Time passes, return to internet. Toes in shallow end, still unstable, just getting by. Not dead, not alive, somewhere in between. Birthday is in 8 days if you don't count today. Art will be slow, just have things on back log. Two more from Cownugget, and one from some gal on DA can't recall name.

Very complicated, ended up broke, pseudo homeless, lived in a van, lost everything. Got back on feet, slowly easing back into life, so not dead just wish life was less complicated. Will update more as I emerge from my shell. Think turtle emerging from it's shell, slowly.

this might be a little emo but what the hell i have failed miserably, i have tried to do good in school but i have fallen too far behind, i have tried to keep my temper in check at work, i have tried to keep up with the various forums, i have tried to get onto messengers, i have tried to rp with people, i have tried to lift myself from my deep depression, to no avail, i spend my days curled up on my bed staring at the wall, i know that many people owe me art, art that i have paid for, but i cant remember half of them, the biggest one i know i wont get, three pictures of gasp vore, but i wont get them, the artist is next to impossible to contact, and last i heard he barely remembered just one of the three pictures, i have been told im patient with artists, but now the patience is gone, the hope is gone, there is only a growing sickness and pain, money is so tight i cant afford the pain pills i was prescribed, cant afford my bills, gotta drop out of school, might be losing my job, i cant even get the hate flowing, i use to like feeling hate and anger it made me feel alive, now it burns out too fast and i feel nothing, normally i care about punctuation and capitalization, but those few that know this know that when i stop caring about grammar i am really in a bad place, going to lay down for a few days, get up when it is time to go to work again

Yeah my birthday is this Tuesday on the 21st. Woo, another year closer to death. Turns out that my insurance won't be paying for as much of my medical bills as they initially said they were. So... money is going to be kind of tight for a while. This of course means no money for commissions, so yeah. Going to be poking the various artists that I have paid for the art they owe. Or at least get updates from them. So yeah, oh and school is pouring homework on me. So no time for fun, HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

*Written in advance by Jesse aka SK, James, Kendal, and Jamie.*

If you are reading this, then it means I'm not around anymore. If you are reading this then my stay at the hospital was a short one. But we must not dwell on the negatives. It was bound to happen sometime, given the excessive lifestyle I have been leading. Too much of this and too much of that. With the death of my little brother and my engagement falling apart I turned to doctors to ease my pain. They in turn wrote me a shit load of prescriptions which I gladly took. In hind sight I probably should have read the side effects before turning to the bottle to ease the pain the pills couldn't fix. I never did feel right during those times in the bar. I just felt angry all the time, it wasn't even at anything in particular. I was just angry at everything and nothing at the same time. Still it does not matter now, seeing as how you are reading this it means that I am no longer with you. Of course there were good times, that party where everybody got naked and got in the pool. Then over half the guests started puking while I went through wallets and purses for gas money. And there were bad times, like the time you idiots piled rail road ties in front of the door of the porta potty and set it on fire. With me inside of it. All in all, it was an okay expirience. And no, you can't have my stuff.

Jesse the Irritable, Time of Death November 14, 1999

*Fast forward* Hold the phone, 1999? But it is 2008 now, what is the deal? Well the deal is I have died before, some of those prescription pills caused an irregular heart beat. Becoming a binge drinker while taking over a dozen pills isn't smart. I didn't need the twelve step program, I went straight to step thirteen. DEATH! Six minutes of DEATH will put you off the bottle cold turkey. But yeah I was thinking about this letter I wrote during that time, it was for the people I use to hang out with. But I am alive, sorry for taking so long but they gave me some great pain pills. I am a light weight with pain pills, they put me right to sleep. I'm reasonably awake now and semi coherent. So yeah, I'm back, give it time for me to get back on my teeth. I mean feet. Yeah, feet. But when it comes time for my will to be read it will be like this. See link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo

Goodbye cruel world,
I'm leaving you today.
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye.

Goodbye, all you people,
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind.
Goodbye.

Surgery is tomorrow. If you don't hear anything by Tuesday night don't cry. Wait until Wednesday night. If still no word, again don't cry. I'm already dead. Oh and I've been singing this song over and over again out loud where ever I go.

Comp blew up, been away for a while. Got comp back, cost about a $100 to get it fixed. Meh, during down time saw a doctor about stomach pains. Basically it was me saying stomach ache, maybe appendix turning on me? Doc says feels something when he presses on my stomach. So it was say ahhh camera down throat, I got to watch. That was cool, wish it was being taped so I could get a copy. Got into the stomach, start turning camera and oooh what that big not pink colored thing! One biopsy later turns out it is a tumor. Benign, size of a base ball.

So... yeah. Getting surgery to have it removed. Trying to catch up on the 1k plus images and over 600 journals. I'm going to end up nuking them all. But yeah. It's a tumor.

1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about their self on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

1. I'm a voraphile both irl and rp.
2. I am an emotional train wreck.
3. I've died, twice irl.
4. I am scared of the fact people like me.
5. I hope to write a book someday.
6. I like to play video games.
7. Brawl is dead to me since there is no mewtwo.
8. I like mewtwo because my little brother Joseph said we have the same scowl. God rest his soul.

Now to tag...
 2ndVenus
 JokerThief_Aizoku
 Galis
 Christykitsune
 TORA
 Jizzal
 Morphic-Eevee
 Bludgeon

S.O.F.A. was inspired by  Foshu and her observance of how foxes are the main prey in the majority of vore pictures on FA. It is time to save the foxes, thus I have created Save Our Foxes Already. Yes I am insane, but I do plan on getting something vorish with that slogan. Maybe SK tail voring somebody while hugging a fox. The prey won't be a fox of course. Yes, that is something good. Now then, if anybody else would like to join spread it around in your journals. Let's see what happens. Just say Join S.O.F.A. in your journal title and explain what it is. That is the good thing.

Now the bad thing, got a call on thursday from the land lord. Told me I had to be out by sunday. I'm moved from one crappy trailer of his to another one of his less crappy trailers. Illegal as all hell but if I fight it, there is the chance I'll get blackballed by all other renters in the area as a trouble maker. Yeah, so I now am trapped in a trailer filled with boxes without labels. I don't know where anything I own is and there is a good chance I may be losing my job as well. I'll quit probably, school starts next week and they still haven't approved my new school friendly schedule. Yeah.

Oooh another good thing, I'm going to start RP'ing again! Yay!

Wow! So much to catch up on, FA gone me sad. Now its back and I am glad. Except for the few thousand art submissions, and journals to filter through. WOW! People got busy when FA came back. HA HA! Good times.

Okay, so about three weeks ago I got a call from Uncle telling me my sister got t boned in a car wreck. He said he would call me back when she was dead since it wasn't looking good. Yeah, my family on my fathers side is messed up. Mothers side disowned me but that's another story. Anyway got a call yesterday from my sister, she decided to vent. Apparently she hates my guts and blames me for a lot of her problems. I took this in my usual sociopathic stride saying how pleasant it is to hear from her. I tell her I'm glad she is okay and that we should talk more. She hung up on me.

Now for the part you are waiting for, ART! I have a ton of art in the works, just need the things to get going. Lets see, I have two pictures from Killrez in the works, one from Scullyraptor, getting two from Fishyboner, and one from jirlae. Ooh also should have one coming from Bludgeon soon. HA HA!

I have fallen so far behind, nothing is working. It is all madness that I can't seem to get a grip on. So I'm giving up for a while. I'll toss up one last picture, then I'm just going to take a break. I should log onto messengers, let people know I'm alive. So many people I should talk to, so many I owe Rp's to. I have failed at so much, damn I even fail at being emo. I don't write bad poetry, I don't shop at Hot Topic, I don't try to drag multiple furs into my depression to create drama! ARG! I have failed emo! That is so depressing, trying to keep this on the lighter side. But I do need a break. Sorry all.

Yeah I've been gone for a little over a week so now I have a back log of stuff. 677 submissions, 45 comments, 366 journals, 3 favorites, 8 watches, and 4 notes. I may end up nuking a lot of this, but I have some more art to post. Arg this is going to take a long time.

I need a new avatar! After witnessing the awesomeness of  bluesquirreldude new icon avatar thingie I decided I need one like that. I want one like that only featuring the chibi version of Rot in the Rot Concept art in my gallery. If anybody knows an artist that can do this I would be ever so appreciative. Plus this is a lame excuse to get rid of my other journal. HA HA!

First the ribs, I bruised them sneezing too hard. Turns out if a sneeze does not fully leave the body it can do some serious damage to your insides. So much pain, at least their not cracked. I hope.

Now ask me questions, I'll answer them all!

1. Are you single or taken?
Single foo!

2. Chocolate or flowers?
Neither please.

3. Will you do anything special for Valentines Day?
Probably go to work and glare at people.

4.Do you like anyone?
I do, that is why I distance myself.

5. Were you dating anyone last Valentines?
Nope.

6. What would be your dream Valentines date?
Don't really have one. Don't date.

7. Do you make a big deal about Valentines?
Just to say Bah Humbug.

8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Does a stalker count? Though she broke up with me, that was sad.

9. Would you ever write someone a love letter?
No.

10. Do you believe in Cupid?
An obese naked baby shooting people with arrows. Yeah right.

11. Do your parents give you presents on Valentines?
Who gives out crap at Valentines day?!

12. Do you still send out Valentines cards?
Nope.

13. Do you like candy hearts?
By the gods yes, they are good.

15. Is Valentines depressing?
Is the Pope Catholic?

16. How do you feel about PDA?
PD what?

17. How is your love life?
Dead and buried.

18. Have you ever been dumped on Valentines?
No, might have been easier getting dumped then instead of how it happened.

19. How many roses would you want?
None please.

20. Will you have a boyfriend/girlfriend next Valenitnes?
Oh please, I haven't dated in nearly a decade. I was engaged once, didn't work out. Don't feel like getting hurt again.

Wow, ummm I don't know what to say. One little picture from Sagi and suddenly my cup runneth over with new watchers. I noticed some more mewtwos, seems our ranks are rising. I declare myself the KING OF MEWTWOS! HA HA! All those that wish to oppose me shall face the wrath of Rot! Ha Ha! Okay wow, not sure what to say. I'll put something up later with more detail. I'm just going to lay down, got a head ache. Need to contact a lot of people.

BLUDGEON! Where are you man? You've gone quiet and I am getting worried. Anybody know whats happened to him? I hate it when something like this happens, it could just be comp troubles or something personal. But I'm a worse case scenario type person, I hope I am wrong. But if anybody out there knows anything let me know okay?

Now then, it has come to my attention that I am apparently a very patient person when it comes to commissions. I have been told by quite a few people that I am one of the most patient people that have dealt with when getting a commission. HA HA! Oh crap that reminds me, I need to speak with an artist about a commission I've been waiting on for oh by the gods what is it now. One or two years? I think its been two, might be wrong though. Hmmm anyway... I think I'll get a picture of SK waiting patiently. Sitting there and staring at the person. Ah yes that would be funny.

Okay now for the rant, I saved it for last since people don't like to read rants. But what the hey I need to vent. I did almost get killed by a head on collision. The pick up truck missed me by inches. I drive up a road that goes up a cliff so it has lots of sharp blind turns. So I'm coming to the sharpest turn, minding my own business. Its night I just got off work, I'm listening to the radio. Suddenly over my radio I hear tires screeching and lights coming around the bend fast. Now I have a choice, I can go to the right and hit the jersey wall. Or I can go left and hit the cliff and possible get stuck in the very deep groove for the rain and falling rocks. The jersey wall protects cars from going over the side of the hill which is a straight drop onto big ass rocks. I go for the wall since people hit that thing all the time and it holds. The cliff has lots of loose rocks but I swerve they come so close to hitting me but we both swerve away from each other. Nearly miss hitting each other, then a car comes down going nearly as fast but more controlled. I think somebody was having some fun. So my rant is this, FREAKING IDIOT DRIVERS! You do not go down a cliff road doing over 50 when the posted speed limit is 20! For the love of pete don't you have any freaking sense at all?! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap, what is up with all these new people watching me? I mean holy shit this is just insane. Wow, can't seem to figure out what people see in me.

Ooh a video, ha ha! Here is how SK would have handled the movie. Can't you just feel the love?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaSLyS3GRLk

Hate, gotta have three things in my journals, its my thing. Okay I only RP in a few places, one is Eka's but I am taking a break from there. Ummm the other place isn't a furry chat its more like the old MSN before they got rid of chat. I still play my chars there just have to put up with so much fucking bs. Its not even funny. Oh and I got one of my old Instant Messengers back! I'm just going with AIM this time around. So if you want in just ask. Just don't expect me to be on all the time, I log on very rarely.

My mothers side of the family has legally disowned me for siding with my father when they divorced. Its the Catholic thing to do to hang in there. Even if one person is destroying everything they come near both material and living. Bleah.

Almost done with finals! YAY! Just got one more to do, for speech class one last speech. It is basically a wrap up and explanation of my second speech. A persuasive speech where I convinced my class mates I was a horrible human being. Hee hee.

Okay art, got to post a commission pic I've been lazy about. Plus I am waiting on Bludgeon to get back to me, he is doing a two char full color pic. Plus a birthday comic for Armorine which is way overdue. Hee hee, ha ha! I never celebrated my birthday this year. Didn't even tell anybody when it was. Once I get some more money I will get some more. Oh and before I do that I'm going to make a list of all the artists I would like to get a commission from.

By the by it was the 21st of October, my birthday.

1. give me your number?
2. let me hug you anytime I wanted to?
3. let me kiss you?
4. watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
5. let me take you out to dinner?
6. drive me somewhere/anywhere?
7. take a shower with me?
8. have a fling with me?
9. listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
10. buy me a drink if i didn't have money?
11. take me home for the night?
12. let me sleep in your bed?
13. sing karaoke w/ me?
14. sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
15. re-post this for me to answer your questions?
16. come pick me up at 3am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
17. Do you think i'm cute or hot?
18. Do you like my style?
19. Do you think I'm funny?
20. cry if I died?
21. dance with me?
22. sing happy birthday to me?
23. take advantage of me if I was drunk?
24. strip for me?

Four things this time, all nice and short. Nothing too big to report though, got punched in the face by an angry customer. We can't give cash for 15 days when returning something paid with a check all right! I can't help it if the damn thing cleared your bank it has to clear ours as well. That takes 15 days! I'm not the one personally saying this or making up these fucking rules!

Hate me, all the people that want to be near me. I withdraw myself and avoid you all. Instead I make the occasional comment to people I know are too busy or have no interest in me. Shooting for the a target far to high to ensure failure. When people want to be with me yet I hide from them. Hate me, I am a terrible person.

Got a birthday coming up here. Not going to tell the date though, I don't celebrate it anymore. Plus I have way too much homework for me to do anything fun.

Progress reports! I have commissions I need to check up on. So don't be surprised three people here on FA when I send you a note asking about the art. Thats all, take care.

Yeah the bar tab thing was a while ago but I just got done doing it right. My bar tab is $3110 and yes that is a lot. Man some of the stuff I am so ashamed of.

Okay now for the part you are reading this for, while at work I was cleaning off the pavement by the contractors entrance. I work in a big home improvement store. I was using the pressure washer to break off the cement from spilled bags that got wet. Anyway there is a roof type thing over the parking lot with exposed rafters. So pigeons hang out there, we have nothing to try to get rid of them so they just hang around crapping on everything. So I'm outside hosing down the parking lot when I hear a pigeon crying out. Its higher pitched and was going on above me. So I look up and see a male trying to get the attention of a female. The males fluff up there neck and bob it forward to get the females attention.

However this female wasn't interested and was flying away. But the male just kept coming. This goes on for a few minutes I lose interest and go back to work. Suddenly I hear the crying getting louder and a soft thud. The male pigeon has mounted the female and is pecking her in the back of the head. I start laughing watching this. The male flaps his wings to keep the female pinned down. So I feel sorry for the pigeon and I blast the male with the hose. To prove my point I keep the water on him as I direct him towards the wall. I kind of forgot I was using a high powered pressure hose capable of breaking stone apart. So ummm yeah it got messy after that. But female pigeon flew off okay.

It seems that all of my recent journals have had two parts to them. Sort of something to balance out things you know. Well start off with the meat thief. My father drives truck so he is rarely ever home. When he does come home he does laundry and we talk some. Do a little shopping and other stuff. I like to cook myself my meals in advance, like burgers and chicken breasts. Steaks and lots of other stuff, it is at during these visits that he restocks his own fridge. So while I'm at work he's taking all my meat. So I get home and I'm drooling over the thought of a burger. To my horror when I open the fridge my meat is gone. The first time I saw this I literally screamed MEAT THIEF! Ever since then the name has stuck. Every time I find my meat gone I call him up and tell him Meat Thief! He laughs and it makes me happy.

Some of you might be wondering why I nuked my gallery except for that one Whiskers pic. Well a good point was brought up, the majority of my commissions are of myself. On the off chance somebody else does appear in them I have no idea who they are other than simply knowing them by some small means through a forum. So I nuked all of my pictures except for the one that brought me the biggest smile. I tease Whiskers so much and give her a hard time. Yet she did that picture that makes me smile so much. I will put up the originals again of my chars. The others I doubt will come back up. I won't be getting any more pictures done with chars that I do not know. The only people that will appear in my pics are NPC's and friends. Of which I have very few if any of the latter.