Since the future of FA is currently up in the air I thought I would post a reminder of where else on the internet I can be found. I have the same username on DeviantAart, Itaku, Bluesky, and Twitter/X and I cross post the same stuff that I do here on all of those. I also have the same user name on Tumblr, but posting to there is less guaranteed. Regardless I have plans to abandon FA, but if it should quietly fade in the night I don't really have any control over that. RIP Dragoneer.

Not really any change since the last update in July, really. The depression is basically the same as it has been for the last two and a half decades, not that I have much reason to think that will ever change at this point. I'll continue to deal with it and work around it as I always have, because that is what I am used to. Despite feeling like I am constantly being destroyed from within, I like to think I did manage to do some good work this year, some of my best work so far, even if the amount of time I am feeling well enough to work is the lowest it has ever been. I can't fix anything, nor can I improve my situation at all, but I can still try doodle as a form of distraction, share what I do, and continue to hope people enjoy it. Here is to another year of Bear's best work ever.

I just wanted to do a post on the various outlets I have online real quick. Last year was really bad for me and this year started off okay, but in the last few weeks I have fallen back pretty hard to my old mindset. My coping mechanism is withdrawing from sources of stress, which in my case currently is society in general. I've withdrawn from interacting with pretty much all but my closest friends, and am really sorry to everyone that has reached out to me and I have ignored. Even if I didn't respond knowing that people care enough to check up on me is very comforting. However, I don't think anything is going to change any time soon, other than possibly getting worse. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Haven't been drawing much lately, but my Tumblr has been pretty active with my dabbling in 3D printing, failures at online dating through Tinder, and my ongoing yearlong project to make my junk enormous. I'm Kokido on there as well if anyone wants to go join in on all of that fun.

Don't mind this journal much, it's mostly just a reminder for myself. Feel free to talk at me in the comments though, I'd be glad to hear anything you have to say.

My birthday is coming up in less than a week. Not looking too super forward to it as I will mostly just look at it as another year alone on this rock, but maybe the one this year won't be as bad, somehow.

Despite it's best efforts recently to make me leave I still have an active account on this wretched website. Though a long string of depression still keeps me from doing much with it.

Still and emotional wreck and barely checking in here. That is all for now.

Don't let the recent productivity fool you, I'm still a wreck, and still on hiatus for the most part. Anyone who has followed me for a while should know what's going on, because its the same crap I've been struggling with since before I even opened this account.

I just realized my last journal here was for my birthday last year, which was about 7 months ago. Figured I would drop in and say hi. Not much to update on, which is why there hasn't been any journals. Most of my friends are gone, family is too preoccupied with my siblings because they can spawn children unlike me, I post art so rarely that it's pretty overlooked when I do, and had another person sweet talk their way into my heart just so they could start siphoning off money and pretty much making me distrust anyone who will ever try to be nice to me again. So, the usual, and trying to keep sane in it all. Thought I should drop a journal now before the next few weeks crush my spirit to nothing and I have to spend a few months trying to build it back up to some functional level.

How y'all doin?

I took the week before my birthday off this year and figured I would go ahead an post a notification now before DA starts doing it's own little notification thing. I'll be 35 this year, and it's not like I felt old enough already. My original plan was to spend my week off doing gift art for artists I admire and look up to, but I've tried a bit of that in the last couple weeks and it seems every time I do that the reaction is pretty much just 'meh', so I'm probably not going to bother. I mean, it's not like people have a psychological desire to be noticed by people they look up to, right?

Been feeling really terrible the last couple of weeks. Trying to pull myself together to get something done. Thanks for being patient with me.

https://www.weasyl.com/~kokido

The few friends I have here and keep me maintaining this account have recently jumped ship, so I guess it's time for me to start transitioning over too. If for whatever reason you don't want to follow me over on Weasyl then I guess Tumblr is the next best option. In the unlikely even things change politically in some positive way I will start posting to this account again, but I don't really see that happening with how things are going.

I've been posting there sorta regularly lately. Not so much art other than some doodles that were not polished enough to be posted other places and some older things though. I have been trying to upload to Tumblr a few hours ahead of other things for some reason though, not sure how much longer I will keep that up, also I do like getting Asks there. The biggest reason you might want to watch though is if I run across any really inspirational boob posts (mostly photos and gifs so far), I do reblog them to hopefully inspire other boob artists too. Up to you if you want to follow me there was well (but I prefer DA favs over reblogs if you are only going to do one...)

My Tumblr

I'm 34. I feel old :|

I know Microsoft wanted everyone to merge from MSN to Skype, but I already had a Skype account, and no longer really had access to my MSN account, so I just abandoned it outright. So if you are someone that had me as a MSN contact before and want to add me either on AOL or Skype (or Steam I guess), let me know in a note and I'll send you my account name. IF you are not an old contact, but still want to be added you may also send a note, and I will CONSIDER it, but unless I know you in some respect, or creepily stalk you in secret I probably want, as I would rather people I don't know funnel through the cBug IRC channel. (Or just be note penpals instead).

Exceptions may be made for cute girls, proof of cute girlness required. <3

It's been a while since I have done a New Year's resolutions journal. I guess it will be a while longer, since this isn't quite that. It is a goal for 2013 still, so I'm running with it anyway. For 2013 I have one simple goal, by the end of the year I want to be proud of myself, instead of ashamed. I've gone too far down a very self destructive path, and I'm not sure I can continue without serious consequences, so this is kind of an emergency attempt to turn things around. Mind you I have no IDEA how to go about this, but it is what I want to do. Wish me luck everyone!

Another pass around the sun!

+10 to Grey Hair
+15 to pounds
-10 to sense of accomplishment

I signed up for a Tumblr blog just so I could make sure I got Kokido before anyone else. So....... what should I use it for?

If you are active on both, and only watch me here then I would STRONGLY suggest you also watch me on DeviantArt if you can. I am much more active there. If you only watch me here, it's still cool as you will get the best of what I post there here, and you'll get the bonus adult (mostly futa....) stuff I can't post there. Also if you don't have a DeviantArt account or don't use it on principal then I can understand that too, this is the 2nd best place to keep up with what I do.

Apparently this is a thing that exists, and it's today.  I'll start celebrating properly when I get home.

Whose art do you think I could stand to borrow some aspects from, and what aspect do you think I should borrow.

For example, if you think I would be better off if I could do backgrounds like *INSERT ARTIST HERE*, or color more like *THIS INDIVIDUAL THERE*, or draw breasts more like *A TRUE NATURAL NAMED ______*. Links are appreciated, and goooooood. Don't have to be just from FA either.

Thankies.

Why have I gotten so many new watchers in the last few days? Seriously, where are all of you coming from o_O