FA+
Shop
My mom treated me like shit once again. (I'm done with he...
General | Posted 5 years agoFew days ago, I decided that I would do a journal of what was happening between me and my mom on that Sunday, April 26, 2020.
It started almost in the middle of night when I was cleaning up the house just a little before I got into my activities. I’ve decided to throw these plastic wrappers away at first, with a 6- Mega toilet paper roll pack… I released all 6 rolls out of the pack and brought them to my room and stacked all of them in a tower style on my small table while I made some small room for them in the bathroom closet. And my mom walked in my room to leave me a new mask for me and then turned her face to a tower stack of 6 toilet paper rolls and my mom asked me, where were these toilet paper from the other room where we store most of the stuff we can’t fit it in? And my mom thinks I was being something that’s been bothering me. It hasn't been bothering me, I was just playing with these just for fun and out of boredom before putting where that would go. I wasn’t trying to do crazy things. And then, I also decided to throw the plastic wrap for the paper towels away because we only had like 3 rolls and I thought it was time to find a better room for them. I left them this way and went back to my room and then while being in my room and my niece come into my room to tell me that my mom needed me in the basement because she was "angry with me" my niece said and I was like what did I do and so I rush to the basement and asked my mom what was wrong and she started yelling at me about stacking 3 rolls of paper towel on the table , went "first toilet paper, and not paper towels" and thought I was bothered by the bothered by that. They weren't bothering me, I was just rearranging something just a little bit. I told her threw away plastic wraps before taking out the trash and my mom insisted that these paper towels to be put back where it suppose to be and so I put the towels back where I picked up from when there were in a big plastic wrap that I threw up and then my mom started freaking out when she saw my putting them on the floor, warning me not to put them on the "nasty" floor and I had no idea what was so bad about putting them on the floor and I told her that there wasn't a problem and I didn't see any problem of it and then, she went a little hostile and get up to move the paper towels to where they're supposed to be. I’ve learned that you should never place paper towels on the floor even if it’s not warped up and I should never open up a pack of toilet paper without asking her. I’ve told her that I didn’t know how she would like the paper towels placed and I thought I was helping make the kitchen a little beat neat and my mom thinks I didn’t which really made me wanna cry when she brought up that I could go and scrub the walls someday since we haven’t done that for a while but I still don’t know what cleaning product use to scrub the walls.. I also told her how I feel when she yelled at me and acted hostile over just the smallest thing but she refused to realize she was being hard on me. I amslo asked her to apologize to me for that but she refused too because she told me she didn’t need it and it really really, made me sad very sad that she didn’t even realized she was treating her adult son like shit and thought I would be okay to be mistreated no matter what I do… I told her how I feel but she didn’t want to listen because she told me that I’m a grown man and I can handle this and I would be fine. But I wasn’t fine. I’ve been begging her to apologize for the yelling and hostility against me over the simplest things but she keeps saying no until she intended to be hostile by getting up and hitting me, using it as a threat if I don’t live her alone about the apology and I gave up and I winded up crying in tears and my thoughts of putting up a box cutter to cut my wrist had popped out of my mind since she doesn’t really care about me at all, all she wants was to treat me like shit rather than supporting my future plans,
I was scolded by my mom for opening a 6-pack mega toilet paper rolls without her permission, stacking all 6 of them in a towel in my room (I was only doing them for fun just for a moment, what was a big deal about this), and stacking three unopened paper towels in a tower way on the kitchen table (I was only rearranging things)... You know what, I've realized I have a good reason to lose all.my respect to her after realizing how much shit she has been treating me for a long time. I feel like a hated and untrusted child to her after failing many times to prove to her that I've been improving and learning many times. These didn't work out as planned. I hate my mom and I don't know what to do to show her that I'm more responsible than she thinks of me… I am just crying now, my life is so over. I don't want to live in Mobile, Alabama anymore despite being born and raised there. I just want to kill myself because I stick of living with my toxic mother and same goes this city I’ve just mentioned with no magic, joy, happiness and fun to it. I just want to cry. I just want to give up my future goals.
One unrelated question, what can I do to prove to my mom that furries are only a harmless hobby? What can I also say to prove to my mom that furries are not evil and wild…. I've been researching that…. Please help me go on the internet and find some details I need to show my mom that there is nothing wrong with attending furry events as long as you know what you're doing to keep yourself safe.
I am sooooo over it...
It started almost in the middle of night when I was cleaning up the house just a little before I got into my activities. I’ve decided to throw these plastic wrappers away at first, with a 6- Mega toilet paper roll pack… I released all 6 rolls out of the pack and brought them to my room and stacked all of them in a tower style on my small table while I made some small room for them in the bathroom closet. And my mom walked in my room to leave me a new mask for me and then turned her face to a tower stack of 6 toilet paper rolls and my mom asked me, where were these toilet paper from the other room where we store most of the stuff we can’t fit it in? And my mom thinks I was being something that’s been bothering me. It hasn't been bothering me, I was just playing with these just for fun and out of boredom before putting where that would go. I wasn’t trying to do crazy things. And then, I also decided to throw the plastic wrap for the paper towels away because we only had like 3 rolls and I thought it was time to find a better room for them. I left them this way and went back to my room and then while being in my room and my niece come into my room to tell me that my mom needed me in the basement because she was "angry with me" my niece said and I was like what did I do and so I rush to the basement and asked my mom what was wrong and she started yelling at me about stacking 3 rolls of paper towel on the table , went "first toilet paper, and not paper towels" and thought I was bothered by the bothered by that. They weren't bothering me, I was just rearranging something just a little bit. I told her threw away plastic wraps before taking out the trash and my mom insisted that these paper towels to be put back where it suppose to be and so I put the towels back where I picked up from when there were in a big plastic wrap that I threw up and then my mom started freaking out when she saw my putting them on the floor, warning me not to put them on the "nasty" floor and I had no idea what was so bad about putting them on the floor and I told her that there wasn't a problem and I didn't see any problem of it and then, she went a little hostile and get up to move the paper towels to where they're supposed to be. I’ve learned that you should never place paper towels on the floor even if it’s not warped up and I should never open up a pack of toilet paper without asking her. I’ve told her that I didn’t know how she would like the paper towels placed and I thought I was helping make the kitchen a little beat neat and my mom thinks I didn’t which really made me wanna cry when she brought up that I could go and scrub the walls someday since we haven’t done that for a while but I still don’t know what cleaning product use to scrub the walls.. I also told her how I feel when she yelled at me and acted hostile over just the smallest thing but she refused to realize she was being hard on me. I amslo asked her to apologize to me for that but she refused too because she told me she didn’t need it and it really really, made me sad very sad that she didn’t even realized she was treating her adult son like shit and thought I would be okay to be mistreated no matter what I do… I told her how I feel but she didn’t want to listen because she told me that I’m a grown man and I can handle this and I would be fine. But I wasn’t fine. I’ve been begging her to apologize for the yelling and hostility against me over the simplest things but she keeps saying no until she intended to be hostile by getting up and hitting me, using it as a threat if I don’t live her alone about the apology and I gave up and I winded up crying in tears and my thoughts of putting up a box cutter to cut my wrist had popped out of my mind since she doesn’t really care about me at all, all she wants was to treat me like shit rather than supporting my future plans,
I was scolded by my mom for opening a 6-pack mega toilet paper rolls without her permission, stacking all 6 of them in a towel in my room (I was only doing them for fun just for a moment, what was a big deal about this), and stacking three unopened paper towels in a tower way on the kitchen table (I was only rearranging things)... You know what, I've realized I have a good reason to lose all.my respect to her after realizing how much shit she has been treating me for a long time. I feel like a hated and untrusted child to her after failing many times to prove to her that I've been improving and learning many times. These didn't work out as planned. I hate my mom and I don't know what to do to show her that I'm more responsible than she thinks of me… I am just crying now, my life is so over. I don't want to live in Mobile, Alabama anymore despite being born and raised there. I just want to kill myself because I stick of living with my toxic mother and same goes this city I’ve just mentioned with no magic, joy, happiness and fun to it. I just want to cry. I just want to give up my future goals.
One unrelated question, what can I do to prove to my mom that furries are only a harmless hobby? What can I also say to prove to my mom that furries are not evil and wild…. I've been researching that…. Please help me go on the internet and find some details I need to show my mom that there is nothing wrong with attending furry events as long as you know what you're doing to keep yourself safe.
I am sooooo over it...
I was cheated then lied in the relationship...
General | Posted 6 years agoHello guys, I've been intending to make this journal since I've been procrastinating from writing about what's going on in life on FA or on Twitter (I been tweeting lots of stuff) and now, I found the time to write it all out.
So last year, I've meet a fur from a small town in Colorado in the general NSFW gay furry group chat made by
sexrex721 (he's not active on FA anymore but on Telegram but if you really want to get to know him, feel free to PM me and I'd give you his @ but you need to be 18 or older). He met him by the time he joined in and his fursona is a husky. I left him a hello on PM and I introduced myself and he introduced himself to me. Like man, he seemed nice and friend. I've asked how old he was so I would make sure if I wasn't talking to a minor before I do anything and he answered my question saying that he was 18, I believed him and begin talking and RPing wit me. And he was so sweet and trustworthy that I would convince him being in an open relationship with me so I can create a poly relationship. I asked what grade he was in and he said he was in a 10th grade and I was like "10th grade? 18 year old in a 10th grade? What happened" and he told me he was held back and I believed him because there were people who got held back in high school. Him and I been talking everyday and our relationship was being well that I loved this husky and so did it. I was kind of feeling a little lied with he told me he was 17 going on 18. He told me he was 18 in the beginning, so he claimed that last year, he turned 18 on this July and I made him a birthday giftart and he liked it. And later on, he told me that he couldn't go in Telegram because his parents controlled what he downloaded on his phone and put a code on the app store so he won't get in to download apps. So he uses Discord at that and I've been trying to talk to him on there but I preferred talking to him on Telegram because I didn't have time to get on Discord all the time. He barely gets on Telegram compared to how often he does with Discord so I could just wait until he get access to Telegram again... The relationship still been going until... a few weeks later when he broke the news to me saying that relationship didn't workout despite being with me for a year and also revealed to me that he has found a boyfriend behind my back. The reason he broke up with me after one year was that he was so fed up with my complaining over people blocking me without a warning and reasoning and the fact that I didn't talk to him that much (it didn't help that I used Telegram more than Discord and still.) It kind of broke my heart how he dumped me because of those reasons and after hearing he got a true better boyfriend behind my back. Later on the same day, I had small talk with the guy who had dumped me and so, he admitted to pretending to be a huge musk fan like I am just to make me happy and take effort of being my made. And oh there was an another lie.... he admitted to lying about his age, so he wasn't legally 18, he was legally 17. This last lie shook me to death and I was so upset that I was mated to a minor.... He told me he was 18 and then he encourage me to block him since he understand what he did to me wasn't right at all and so, I've blocked his ass on everywhere because I would not tolerate with minors lying about being legally 18 just to be in a relationship with adults. My god, I am glad I blocked him, that was so awkward.
That is the end of the story and I am now looking for a mate who is open for the relationship or poly relationship. I am also seeking to find an open poly relationship.
Before I end this journal, I have a safety top for you adults looking for a mate. If you ask people you just met for their age and they told you "18", don't believe that they're so called legally "18!" Please take some precautions before you convince them to be your mate in the future because you would never know if that person is a minor or not. The very important thing to do is to ask their for their ID to verify if that person is a minor or not.
Thank you for taking your time to read the journal and have a blessed day.
So last year, I've meet a fur from a small town in Colorado in the general NSFW gay furry group chat made by
sexrex721 (he's not active on FA anymore but on Telegram but if you really want to get to know him, feel free to PM me and I'd give you his @ but you need to be 18 or older). He met him by the time he joined in and his fursona is a husky. I left him a hello on PM and I introduced myself and he introduced himself to me. Like man, he seemed nice and friend. I've asked how old he was so I would make sure if I wasn't talking to a minor before I do anything and he answered my question saying that he was 18, I believed him and begin talking and RPing wit me. And he was so sweet and trustworthy that I would convince him being in an open relationship with me so I can create a poly relationship. I asked what grade he was in and he said he was in a 10th grade and I was like "10th grade? 18 year old in a 10th grade? What happened" and he told me he was held back and I believed him because there were people who got held back in high school. Him and I been talking everyday and our relationship was being well that I loved this husky and so did it. I was kind of feeling a little lied with he told me he was 17 going on 18. He told me he was 18 in the beginning, so he claimed that last year, he turned 18 on this July and I made him a birthday giftart and he liked it. And later on, he told me that he couldn't go in Telegram because his parents controlled what he downloaded on his phone and put a code on the app store so he won't get in to download apps. So he uses Discord at that and I've been trying to talk to him on there but I preferred talking to him on Telegram because I didn't have time to get on Discord all the time. He barely gets on Telegram compared to how often he does with Discord so I could just wait until he get access to Telegram again... The relationship still been going until... a few weeks later when he broke the news to me saying that relationship didn't workout despite being with me for a year and also revealed to me that he has found a boyfriend behind my back. The reason he broke up with me after one year was that he was so fed up with my complaining over people blocking me without a warning and reasoning and the fact that I didn't talk to him that much (it didn't help that I used Telegram more than Discord and still.) It kind of broke my heart how he dumped me because of those reasons and after hearing he got a true better boyfriend behind my back. Later on the same day, I had small talk with the guy who had dumped me and so, he admitted to pretending to be a huge musk fan like I am just to make me happy and take effort of being my made. And oh there was an another lie.... he admitted to lying about his age, so he wasn't legally 18, he was legally 17. This last lie shook me to death and I was so upset that I was mated to a minor.... He told me he was 18 and then he encourage me to block him since he understand what he did to me wasn't right at all and so, I've blocked his ass on everywhere because I would not tolerate with minors lying about being legally 18 just to be in a relationship with adults. My god, I am glad I blocked him, that was so awkward.That is the end of the story and I am now looking for a mate who is open for the relationship or poly relationship. I am also seeking to find an open poly relationship.
Before I end this journal, I have a safety top for you adults looking for a mate. If you ask people you just met for their age and they told you "18", don't believe that they're so called legally "18!" Please take some precautions before you convince them to be your mate in the future because you would never know if that person is a minor or not. The very important thing to do is to ask their for their ID to verify if that person is a minor or not.
Thank you for taking your time to read the journal and have a blessed day.
I've made the WORSE mistake of my life... *cries* [Vent]
General | Posted 6 years agoHello everyone. I was having a good time until today, it has gotten much worse... I want to tell you guys what I did and my mom punished me for my behavior............
It's all started after my mom was done running few of her errands for today and we were heading our way to Circle K to get 2 79-cent Frostees for me and my mom. When I headed inside Circle K, there were alot of people in the line but it wasn't as long as I would except. I got both Frostee cups filled up and entered the line. While waiting, a man standing by me randomly asked me for a sway of 2 dollars worth of change for dollars. And so becauae I got two dollar bills, I counted the change to make sure if it was 2 dollars or not before handing the dollars bills. There were 2 dollars in change so I took the change and handed the bills to him and then he walked out of the store which made me suspect that he didn't have time wait until he was next in line. And then the old white woman in front of me holding a big box of canned beer, rudely told me to be careful because some people might not be honest with asking for change or something and I told her that I counted to make sure if its the right amount he wanted she said she understood and told me she wasn't trying to be rude but was trying to warn me and I told her that I got it. I'd politely asked her if I can go ahead and pay for the two things since there were smaller than the box of canned beer which en accepted and then I was going to pay for the drinks with the change I traded 2 dollars bills with but the white man behind me told he already paid for them and I thanked him for out and walked out of the store and my mom came in by the time Inwas about leave wondering what was going on and I told her that I was going to pay for them but the man behind me in the line did and I said it was a blessing. And then, my mom wasn't really happy about what I did inside, starting to get mad and yelled at me and scolded me for asking a people if they let me skip just because I have have one to two items regardless the size and told me that I'm too old for old. But I was asking nicely before passing, I wasn't trying to skip the line. I didn't do anything wrong, I was asking nicely like if they say no, then I won't pass and rather wait. She also thought that I may have done the same thing when I was out which it wasn't true at all. She told me that she is getting so sick of my antics and it's been getting worse and I feel like I am all the way down. She also banned me from going out myself on the weekends because she's been thinking that I've probably done some crazy stuff when I go out when wasn't true at all. She asked if I had done the same thing I did before I my parents weren't with me and I told him no but she wouldn't buy it. So I am not banned from going to places I like to go to because she couldn't deal with me being something stupid. My mom said that if this these people who were in the line by me were black people (I am black myself....), then they would have physically assaulted me for my actions such as asking if I could pass them just because I only have one item to check out. But the white old woman had a big box of beer cans to check out.
Oh oh and oh, let’s not forget about that last weekend when I was vacationing with my family in Miramar Beach, FL. https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9348831/ (More details are in this journal.)
She again brought up that time I’ve talked to my aunt on the phone about why I wanted my own place when I was actually venting. She asked me why so I want my own place and my own apartment. Because I wanted peace for my myself I answered her. And then, she talked about how I can’t handle having my own place because all she thinks of me wanting my own place just to talk to myself out loud, and walk around where people next door could hear me. People could have enough of me, come on down to my room and abuse me to death to help me shut all and be still. That’s all what my mom said. That isn’t true at all. The reason I want my own place is that I want peace to be inspired to make art and listen to music and be chill. I didn’t get much peace for myself that often ever since my sister had her second chance that happened that May. I just want a small break from the house....
Oh and she also brought up this meeting thing again which this one has gotten worse since last month. She was aware of me sending a text message by accident but she scolded me again for trying to meet someone without my family knowing. She asked if anyone else knew I was out to meet with people.
You know what!? I should’ve said “no” to that white man who needed dollars bills for change… and I should’ve waited until that white old lady paid for her beer before my turn... Both would’ve been avoided if I were patient. My mom took away what really makes me happy as punishment for what I did in Circle K because she was getting really tired of me and not sees me as a most difficult person…
My dream is to make it to a furmeet and a furry convention is shattered due to my mom restricting me from going out on my own on the weekend after what I did inside Circle K……. I will never gonna make it to a furry convention because of my mom viewing me as a more difficult person who would like to do more stupid things with other people such as taking the receipt out before they would ever pick it up and also asking other people if I can check out first just because I only have one item…. I don’t know if I never make it to anime and comic books conventions especially Mobicon 2020 and A.g.S con 2020 because of that same thing. I might gonna skip both of them because of my mom…. I was aware of my surrounding. I really do. I wasn’t being wrongfully assaulted at all. But this incident in Circle was something to be easily improved from. What can I do to have my mom regaining my trust?
I’ve made a WORSE mistake of my life……. I am really wishing my mom to trust me again because I worked so hard trying to be trusted more so I can be independent and now, I really don’t want to start over. I am asking God for forgiveness for what I did…. I am hoping my mom will trust me again and even more because I really want to focus on my dreams and I don’t want to lose it forever. I am crying about it now, I am bursting tears..... I am kinda losing hope and I am losing the ability to draw... so I'd be doing nothing but on my bed crying for a while.
I am over it, I… am…. over….. it….
It's all started after my mom was done running few of her errands for today and we were heading our way to Circle K to get 2 79-cent Frostees for me and my mom. When I headed inside Circle K, there were alot of people in the line but it wasn't as long as I would except. I got both Frostee cups filled up and entered the line. While waiting, a man standing by me randomly asked me for a sway of 2 dollars worth of change for dollars. And so becauae I got two dollar bills, I counted the change to make sure if it was 2 dollars or not before handing the dollars bills. There were 2 dollars in change so I took the change and handed the bills to him and then he walked out of the store which made me suspect that he didn't have time wait until he was next in line. And then the old white woman in front of me holding a big box of canned beer, rudely told me to be careful because some people might not be honest with asking for change or something and I told her that I counted to make sure if its the right amount he wanted she said she understood and told me she wasn't trying to be rude but was trying to warn me and I told her that I got it. I'd politely asked her if I can go ahead and pay for the two things since there were smaller than the box of canned beer which en accepted and then I was going to pay for the drinks with the change I traded 2 dollars bills with but the white man behind me told he already paid for them and I thanked him for out and walked out of the store and my mom came in by the time Inwas about leave wondering what was going on and I told her that I was going to pay for them but the man behind me in the line did and I said it was a blessing. And then, my mom wasn't really happy about what I did inside, starting to get mad and yelled at me and scolded me for asking a people if they let me skip just because I have have one to two items regardless the size and told me that I'm too old for old. But I was asking nicely before passing, I wasn't trying to skip the line. I didn't do anything wrong, I was asking nicely like if they say no, then I won't pass and rather wait. She also thought that I may have done the same thing when I was out which it wasn't true at all. She told me that she is getting so sick of my antics and it's been getting worse and I feel like I am all the way down. She also banned me from going out myself on the weekends because she's been thinking that I've probably done some crazy stuff when I go out when wasn't true at all. She asked if I had done the same thing I did before I my parents weren't with me and I told him no but she wouldn't buy it. So I am not banned from going to places I like to go to because she couldn't deal with me being something stupid. My mom said that if this these people who were in the line by me were black people (I am black myself....), then they would have physically assaulted me for my actions such as asking if I could pass them just because I only have one item to check out. But the white old woman had a big box of beer cans to check out.
Oh oh and oh, let’s not forget about that last weekend when I was vacationing with my family in Miramar Beach, FL. https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9348831/ (More details are in this journal.)
She again brought up that time I’ve talked to my aunt on the phone about why I wanted my own place when I was actually venting. She asked me why so I want my own place and my own apartment. Because I wanted peace for my myself I answered her. And then, she talked about how I can’t handle having my own place because all she thinks of me wanting my own place just to talk to myself out loud, and walk around where people next door could hear me. People could have enough of me, come on down to my room and abuse me to death to help me shut all and be still. That’s all what my mom said. That isn’t true at all. The reason I want my own place is that I want peace to be inspired to make art and listen to music and be chill. I didn’t get much peace for myself that often ever since my sister had her second chance that happened that May. I just want a small break from the house....
Oh and she also brought up this meeting thing again which this one has gotten worse since last month. She was aware of me sending a text message by accident but she scolded me again for trying to meet someone without my family knowing. She asked if anyone else knew I was out to meet with people.
You know what!? I should’ve said “no” to that white man who needed dollars bills for change… and I should’ve waited until that white old lady paid for her beer before my turn... Both would’ve been avoided if I were patient. My mom took away what really makes me happy as punishment for what I did in Circle K because she was getting really tired of me and not sees me as a most difficult person…
My dream is to make it to a furmeet and a furry convention is shattered due to my mom restricting me from going out on my own on the weekend after what I did inside Circle K……. I will never gonna make it to a furry convention because of my mom viewing me as a more difficult person who would like to do more stupid things with other people such as taking the receipt out before they would ever pick it up and also asking other people if I can check out first just because I only have one item…. I don’t know if I never make it to anime and comic books conventions especially Mobicon 2020 and A.g.S con 2020 because of that same thing. I might gonna skip both of them because of my mom…. I was aware of my surrounding. I really do. I wasn’t being wrongfully assaulted at all. But this incident in Circle was something to be easily improved from. What can I do to have my mom regaining my trust?
I’ve made a WORSE mistake of my life……. I am really wishing my mom to trust me again because I worked so hard trying to be trusted more so I can be independent and now, I really don’t want to start over. I am asking God for forgiveness for what I did…. I am hoping my mom will trust me again and even more because I really want to focus on my dreams and I don’t want to lose it forever. I am crying about it now, I am bursting tears..... I am kinda losing hope and I am losing the ability to draw... so I'd be doing nothing but on my bed crying for a while.
I am over it, I… am…. over….. it….
My mom ruined my vacation mood. [Vent]
General | Posted 6 years agoI am here in Miramar Beach, Florida, 3 hours from where I live at. My family and I are staying in a vacationing condo instead of a hotel and I've been enjoying my wonderful time since yesterday until today................
This mess has started after my mom was driving me to the closest dumpster to take out the rest of the trash. I did the throwing while my mom was helping me take out everything off the trust. I got back into the truck and my was driving back to the condo. My mom was acting unhappy with what I said about what would I go with the money if I won the Powerball or Mega Millions jackpot and so she asked me why do I need my own place and I didn't know how to answer that. And then my mom scolded me for telling my aunt how my dad treated me and I told her that she haven't helped me which why I had my aunt helping me. She also brought up the fact that I was trying to meet with someone when I don't even know them she claimed. She even explained how bad meeting people online is and why I shouldn't do that with my family knowing and told me that she heard on a news about a college student getting kidnapped after heading out to meet with a person whe she online and there are many people whp might get killed or kidnapped. She was worried that if I do that, I might be kidnapped, abducted, or killed and my parents won't able to reach me. So she banned me from having friends because I could be betrayed soon that someone could come over to my house and kill me or one of my family members which is not true at all. She forbidden me from meeting with someone but just my family member. I started crying like, I couldn't spend my last night in the vacation condo without being happy. I love having friends and hangout with them. There is nothing wrong with that unlessI want to get myself killed or kidnapped. I always thought twice... I thought my mom doesn't mind since I'm 26 but she doesn't care about what makes me happy....
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9321538/ Remember. This journal? I can about what happened last month. I accidentally sent the text message to my mom last month. The text I accidentally sent to my mom was that I was just letting a local fur know that I didn't know a one of the local coffee shops closes on Sundays and I've asked of he would meet with me at the other coffee shop here instead and then I sent it without looking at the name on the top. And then, she called me on the phone being unhappy with me that I was going to meet someone. She asked who I was meeting, what his name, if he's black or white, and how long I've known him. And also said to me that I don't know this guy when I already did the right thing getting to know them first which its usually important.
I am so over it...
This mess has started after my mom was driving me to the closest dumpster to take out the rest of the trash. I did the throwing while my mom was helping me take out everything off the trust. I got back into the truck and my was driving back to the condo. My mom was acting unhappy with what I said about what would I go with the money if I won the Powerball or Mega Millions jackpot and so she asked me why do I need my own place and I didn't know how to answer that. And then my mom scolded me for telling my aunt how my dad treated me and I told her that she haven't helped me which why I had my aunt helping me. She also brought up the fact that I was trying to meet with someone when I don't even know them she claimed. She even explained how bad meeting people online is and why I shouldn't do that with my family knowing and told me that she heard on a news about a college student getting kidnapped after heading out to meet with a person whe she online and there are many people whp might get killed or kidnapped. She was worried that if I do that, I might be kidnapped, abducted, or killed and my parents won't able to reach me. So she banned me from having friends because I could be betrayed soon that someone could come over to my house and kill me or one of my family members which is not true at all. She forbidden me from meeting with someone but just my family member. I started crying like, I couldn't spend my last night in the vacation condo without being happy. I love having friends and hangout with them. There is nothing wrong with that unlessI want to get myself killed or kidnapped. I always thought twice... I thought my mom doesn't mind since I'm 26 but she doesn't care about what makes me happy....
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9321538/ Remember. This journal? I can about what happened last month. I accidentally sent the text message to my mom last month. The text I accidentally sent to my mom was that I was just letting a local fur know that I didn't know a one of the local coffee shops closes on Sundays and I've asked of he would meet with me at the other coffee shop here instead and then I sent it without looking at the name on the top. And then, she called me on the phone being unhappy with me that I was going to meet someone. She asked who I was meeting, what his name, if he's black or white, and how long I've known him. And also said to me that I don't know this guy when I already did the right thing getting to know them first which its usually important.
I am so over it...
I really wish I could make it to MFF... [Vent]
General | Posted 6 years agoI really wanted save up for my trip to MFF (Midwest FurFest) but I still can't go to a single furcon, big or small because of still not having a paying job, dealing with family life in the house, and my nassicist mother, and narrow-minded and judgemental father towards furries and my interest in the furry fandom as a hobby and my other desire of having/meeting friends.
A local fur broke my trust... (important journal to read)
General | Posted 6 years agoLast week Tuesday November 5th, I met a furry who lives 20 minutes away from me on Ferzu and left a hello and see if he would eventually reply back which he did and I asked if I could talk on Telegram which he said yes and sent out his username. On Telegram, I've started with an introduction and asked about his hobbies. He likes video games and he is also an Alabama supporter like I really am. He is 20 years old and he currently lives with his grandparents. We talked a lot to get to know each other and he accepted me as a friend and started caring for me which I was so very honored and happy that he wasn't one of the furs near me who hates me just because of who I am. But he really accepted me for who I am. He thought I'm sweet and cute he said. He was so cute, sweet, and amazing. I also asked if he could hangout with me at the coffee cafe on this Sunday November 10th, since my mom got an off day and he agreed and worked on setting up an appointment. I would like to hangout at either 11 or 12 but his grandparents forces his to attend church with them on Sundays and he gets out at around 12pm he said and so we choose 1 pm or 2pm which he also agreed. I would do it on Saturday November 9th but my mom needed the car to drive to her friend's house to watch Alabama vs LSU game which that started at 2:30pm. He was so excited to meet me in person and play Mario Kart 8 Deluxe with me locally he said. I was so excited to meet with him to see how well it goes. I looked forward until Sunday to meet him. That Saturday, him and I talked about how we were excited about meeting up at the local coffee cafe near him (Which I forgot it closes on Sundays and went for Books-a-Million or other locally owned coffee shops). He asked me if I was excited about meeting him on the next day and I said yes. He was excited about it as well he said. And in the next day called Sunday, I sent him a text message in the morning, letting him know that my mom doesn't have anything else to go back to cook in the house meaning, I have the car to go out myself and I was waiting on him to reply back right after he was done with Sunday chruch with his grandparents. 12 o clock came and I was waiting to get a message from him on both Telegram and SMS text messaging that I was suppose to be receiving around 12pm he said. I was assuming he's respond back at 12:30 because he may be late which I could do 1 or 1:30pm. I went to Books a Million at 12:30 and wait on him to reply back and see what he had to say about meeting up but he hasn't been responding back which it was strange. I was wondering of church was making him much longer or something. He haven't went to his phone until 2:30pm which he finally responded, apologizing for ditching on me on the plans that we already planned and said that he had to stay longer for veterans lunch and he also left his phone. That really made me so frustrated and sad that other night, he didn't tell me that he could have other plans coming up after church. I asked if he want to hangout with at Books a million at 3pm instead which he agreed and said that it would take a few minutes for him to be over there before he started becoming inactive on Telegram. 20-25 minutes later, he did not show up. At first, I thought he was busy driving up there, but it actually turned out and he lied about meeting with me. He betrayed my trust and hurt my feeling. I thought I really trusted him.... I left Books a Million at 4pm, crying in tears. I forgot to mention that I spend three hours in Books a million crying because I looked forward until Sunday to meet him. I was at Walmart crying at all and I was driving home crying.... It wasted my while Sunday. He has not been on Telegram, responding my messages on SMS and Ferzu since November the 10th.
I was so happy to find a fur near me who shares the similar interest and kinks. He didn't not really tell me that he could have other plans coming up after Sunday church which I would've agreed to reschedule the meet if it was too late for me to stay until it gets dark since my mom doesn't want me being up when it gets dark. I had to be home by 5pm before it gets dark.
I was planning to draw a giftart for a guy as a "thank you" gift for being my friend and making some time to hangout with me but no, he doesn't deserve a gift from me because of what he did to me that Sunday. That really torn my drawing motivation apart. I've been down ever since this Sunday and I've been working other ways to feel better but no fur near me wants to hang out with me because some of them hates me for who I am both in person and in chat.
Here is an important lesson to people who are working hard to find a fur who really fits your interests.
1: Make sure you have a friend to take pictures of their travelling progress to make sure they aren't lying.
2: Make sure you ask if they have other plans coming up before assuming, you would never know if they are lying or not.
If you really want to meet a fur near you to make them happy, don't lie and leave your phone off. Just let them know how things go.
Well, I am done writing. I thought I could make this journal to struggle it off.
Update 11/27/2019: He has not been active on Telegram since Sunday November 10th until he reappeared on Telegram yesterday but never messaged to explain everything to me and then went silent on Telegram once again since then.
Thanks for reading this important journal.
I was so happy to find a fur near me who shares the similar interest and kinks. He didn't not really tell me that he could have other plans coming up after Sunday church which I would've agreed to reschedule the meet if it was too late for me to stay until it gets dark since my mom doesn't want me being up when it gets dark. I had to be home by 5pm before it gets dark.
I was planning to draw a giftart for a guy as a "thank you" gift for being my friend and making some time to hangout with me but no, he doesn't deserve a gift from me because of what he did to me that Sunday. That really torn my drawing motivation apart. I've been down ever since this Sunday and I've been working other ways to feel better but no fur near me wants to hang out with me because some of them hates me for who I am both in person and in chat.
Here is an important lesson to people who are working hard to find a fur who really fits your interests.
1: Make sure you have a friend to take pictures of their travelling progress to make sure they aren't lying.
2: Make sure you ask if they have other plans coming up before assuming, you would never know if they are lying or not.
If you really want to meet a fur near you to make them happy, don't lie and leave your phone off. Just let them know how things go.
Well, I am done writing. I thought I could make this journal to struggle it off.
Update 11/27/2019: He has not been active on Telegram since Sunday November 10th until he reappeared on Telegram yesterday but never messaged to explain everything to me and then went silent on Telegram once again since then.
Thanks for reading this important journal.
I am done. I am just done....
General | Posted 6 years agoI am through with this while furry fandom thing.... like almost everyone is abandoning me over my attitude and my behavior as well as my frisky behaviour... I've lost Kintama Ryo, I've lost Jeshua (jgllt), I've lost a few more Mobile, AL furries, a few Alabama furries including Umbra the blue wolf, AddyPup, Hiratashi, Redline, Westly the fox, Felix the Wolf, Terra the raccoon, and many amount of people over a few years and I also got kicked out of Mobifurs (Mobile, AL furry community) indefinitely. That is all because of my attitude, my behaviour, my sexual kinks, and how annoying I am... People think I'm really a monsterous and mean when it wasn't even my intention at all. It was just that I've been losing my cool and my patience for ever since I start getting headaches from my parent drama. No one is willing offer me a 2nd chance to improve because of how mean and annoying I am and yes, I screwed up already. I should've listened to anyone who called me out on my behavior long time ago, they were right. I should've never been a furry... I should've never attended a local furmeet... I should've never gotten into feitshes, and I should've never been so frisky. I really should step away from sexual kinks.
I am 26!
General | Posted 6 years agoToday is my birthday.
Where to keep in touch with my posts and art.
General | Posted 6 years agoSince I barely post journals on FA but to post art, I'd leave links to other social media for you guys.
Koroshi Arts Discord Server
Koroshi Arts Telegram Channel
Koroshi Arts Telegram Channel - NSFW edition (Warning 18+)
My personal Telegram Channel
Twitter
Koroshi Arts Discord Server
Koroshi Arts Telegram Channel
Koroshi Arts Telegram Channel - NSFW edition (Warning 18+)
My personal Telegram Channel
My birthday is on this Thursday.
General | Posted 6 years agoI'd be 26.
Don't forget to read the journal while you're at it.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9165870/
Don't forget to read the journal while you're at it.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9165870/
What have you guys been? (Please read)
General | Posted 6 years agoHello guys, it's been 2 months since I've posted a journal.
I am really not dead on FA. I still post art on here but it's just that I rarely journals on here as I do usually. Why? Because I've been posting stuffs on Twitter and Telegram. I mean, Fur Affinity is really my home, so I really don't want to leave here.
Well, however, if you really want to check out my updates and artworks. Feel free to follow me on Twitter and subscribe to my Telegram channels.
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/KoroshiArts
Telegram channels
https://t.me/KoroshiArtsSFW
https://t.me/KoroshiArtsNSFW (WARNING 18+)
Personal channel blog: https://t.me/DerekWolfdogBlog
I hope to see you guys on Telegram and Twitter.
Also, My birthday is on the 20th this month and i'd be 26.
You have a good day.
I am really not dead on FA. I still post art on here but it's just that I rarely journals on here as I do usually. Why? Because I've been posting stuffs on Twitter and Telegram. I mean, Fur Affinity is really my home, so I really don't want to leave here.
Well, however, if you really want to check out my updates and artworks. Feel free to follow me on Twitter and subscribe to my Telegram channels.
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/KoroshiArts
Telegram channels
https://t.me/KoroshiArtsSFW
https://t.me/KoroshiArtsNSFW (WARNING 18+)
Personal channel blog: https://t.me/DerekWolfdogBlog
I hope to see you guys on Telegram and Twitter.
Also, My birthday is on the 20th this month and i'd be 26.
You have a good day.
Dave and Buster's is coming to my hometown next year! YAY!!
General | Posted 6 years agoAPRIL FOOLS
I still wish Dave and Buster's were coming to Mobile (my hometown) though
I still wish Dave and Buster's were coming to Mobile (my hometown) though
My wish to go to Round 1 USA is going to be shattered...
General | Posted 7 years agoMy wish, to experience the American division of Round 1 has been shattered today......
All I needed to do was to explain to my mom what I'm going to go to Atlanta for during the summer trip for me and my parents since she doesn't want to deal with riding all over the place. I tried out an small discussion with both of my parents in the den area about the off days for Summer so we can go to Atlanta for 3 days so we can go to one of the shopping malls southeast of Atlanta because it has Round 1 which I really want to check out so badly but sadly.... My mom hated going to Atlanta because she didn't want to deal with all traffic and the troubles going on there, she refused to help plan this trip for July or August. I tried telling her to listen to me so I can explain everything that I really wanted to go to Atlanta for but she cut me off and refused to listen to me and told me not to bring it up again anytime... And she told me it's why too long when we are actually planning to go to Tennessee for my niece's high school graduation this May, missing out a weekend of Mobicon 2019. Clarksville is longer distance from Atlanta and that sounds hypocritical... I told my mom I wanted to go this year but she didn't care and told me I didn't want to go. and My dad told me that we'd find an appropriate date for us to go to Atlanta. I went into my mom and went beyond crying in tears....
I only wanted to go to The Mall of Stonecrest in Lithonia because it has a Round 1 location and it's the closest from where I live at and it's only like 30 minutes from my uncle's house which we would be spending 2 nights at.
You see, my mom really doesn't care what I really wanted to do... she never asked me what I was trying to go to Atlanta for instead of saying "I'm not going to Atlanta and that's the end of it."
My mom hates Mardi Gras, New Orleans, me going to places that's makes me happy,, me traveling outside my city and most of all, Atlanta.
I really hate my city, we have nothing else fun to do but these stupid ass clothing stores and supermarkets. I don't really want to live here anymore. I would be more happier if we ever had Dave and Buster's, Round 1, Main Event, or locally owned arcade entertainment similar to three 3 chains mentioned....
All I needed to do was to explain to my mom what I'm going to go to Atlanta for during the summer trip for me and my parents since she doesn't want to deal with riding all over the place. I tried out an small discussion with both of my parents in the den area about the off days for Summer so we can go to Atlanta for 3 days so we can go to one of the shopping malls southeast of Atlanta because it has Round 1 which I really want to check out so badly but sadly.... My mom hated going to Atlanta because she didn't want to deal with all traffic and the troubles going on there, she refused to help plan this trip for July or August. I tried telling her to listen to me so I can explain everything that I really wanted to go to Atlanta for but she cut me off and refused to listen to me and told me not to bring it up again anytime... And she told me it's why too long when we are actually planning to go to Tennessee for my niece's high school graduation this May, missing out a weekend of Mobicon 2019. Clarksville is longer distance from Atlanta and that sounds hypocritical... I told my mom I wanted to go this year but she didn't care and told me I didn't want to go. and My dad told me that we'd find an appropriate date for us to go to Atlanta. I went into my mom and went beyond crying in tears....
I only wanted to go to The Mall of Stonecrest in Lithonia because it has a Round 1 location and it's the closest from where I live at and it's only like 30 minutes from my uncle's house which we would be spending 2 nights at.
You see, my mom really doesn't care what I really wanted to do... she never asked me what I was trying to go to Atlanta for instead of saying "I'm not going to Atlanta and that's the end of it."
My mom hates Mardi Gras, New Orleans, me going to places that's makes me happy,, me traveling outside my city and most of all, Atlanta.
I really hate my city, we have nothing else fun to do but these stupid ass clothing stores and supermarkets. I don't really want to live here anymore. I would be more happier if we ever had Dave and Buster's, Round 1, Main Event, or locally owned arcade entertainment similar to three 3 chains mentioned....
Scraped journal: Looking back at 2018.
General | Posted 7 years agoThis is an journal I did last montha nd I never finished it.
Looking back at 2018.
It’s almost a brand new yeah, so I’m gonna look back at 2019 and do my review on each months. So here goes.
Januany: I’ve picked up where I left off on Pokemon Ultra Moon and continue where I left off after finishing Cold Steel 2 for PS VIta. I also brought Super Mario Odyssey as my first Nintendo Switch game.
February: By the end of the month, I had fun at Escape in Margaritaville Resorts in Bixoli and it has a very nice arcade that is like both Dave and Buster’s and Main Event. And at Mugshots in north of Biloxi, I managed to find the perfect time to tell my mom and I’m a furry and then she was fine with me liking them as long as I don’t break any law. And when I tried to explain to her about the good sides about furry conventions, she took this the wrong way after I told him that you meet people that you see on the internet and she thought it was a bad idea to go there considering how different these people act which I found it hard to prove to her that fur cons are harmless places. She also thought that it would be safe if my dad would know about my interest in furries and furry events which I declined for her to do it because she doesn’t understand how judgemental and rude he has been to me.
March: My grandmother on my mom’s side died a couple of days before my mom and I went to Destin, FL to see my other sister, my oldest niece and her foreigner friend from her school.
April: Nothing else special that I could remember.
May: My mom and I went to Tanger Outlet in Foley for the first time after 4 years. I bought Mario Kart 8 Deluxe for 30 dollars during the closing sale at Toys R Us Express (has better discounts than the bigger Toys R us in Mobile at this time) and I also went to get some candy at the candy shop. I started staying Final Fantasy 10 HD for PS4, I actually got the copy for the Flea Market form not so short ago. I’d also discovered that game called Night Trap after reading a video history of how the ESRB was created. I watched all footages of Night Trap. I attended Mobicon in 2018 and it was good, not sometimes bad when I had to pick my dad up from work since the truck was acting weird that he doesn’t trust it.
June: I’d finished playing Final Fantasy 10 and it was good, took a break from gaming until after my birthday to Tennessee. At Tennessee, I’ve bought a used Wacom tablet from a bookstore called McKay’s and it’s located in Nashville, my oldest sister’s husband drive me and my other sister’s husband there and I enjoyed there. I also played Dance Dance Revolution A for my very first time at Dave & Buster’s in Nashville, this is my favorite moment. After returning to my hometown, we finally got internet at our house but it was internet essentials from Comcast Xfinity and we still have it now. It’s really worth our time. And I started Final Fantasy 10-2 after taking a break.
July: I ordered the HD remaster of Final Fantasy 7 for PS4 while I was playing World of Final Fantasy which I got from that GameStop in Nashville in that previous month. I started to have love for the Final Fantasy franchise and joined the fandom.
August: I met this white wolf from a NSFW group chat and he lives rhythm games like I do. He told me he likes Groove Coaster while asking questions about himself and he also told me that I can get Groove Coaster on mobile or tablet and then, I checked out what this game is about and that really interested me. And later, I gave it a try and see if I like it and wow, the so amazing and the graphics were willfully done. I even check out videos of other songs in Groove Coaster and it blows my mind that I want to at least get one music pack and I started off with Puzzle and Dragons pack because I seen the videos of this chart which I loved replying so much. Also, I attended A.g.S con and it was really great. They had a game room but didn’t have Nintendo consoles and I should’ve enjoyed other fighting games. I went there on both days.
September: I’ve started on Final Fantasy 15 and man, the graphics there good. Also, I made yet another local fur friend at the Mobifur group, the same day he joined there. The friendship has been going well and still. I also missed a furcon in Northwest Florida due to my parent’s narrow mindedness about the furry fandom.
Looking back at 2018.
It’s almost a brand new yeah, so I’m gonna look back at 2019 and do my review on each months. So here goes.
Januany: I’ve picked up where I left off on Pokemon Ultra Moon and continue where I left off after finishing Cold Steel 2 for PS VIta. I also brought Super Mario Odyssey as my first Nintendo Switch game.
February: By the end of the month, I had fun at Escape in Margaritaville Resorts in Bixoli and it has a very nice arcade that is like both Dave and Buster’s and Main Event. And at Mugshots in north of Biloxi, I managed to find the perfect time to tell my mom and I’m a furry and then she was fine with me liking them as long as I don’t break any law. And when I tried to explain to her about the good sides about furry conventions, she took this the wrong way after I told him that you meet people that you see on the internet and she thought it was a bad idea to go there considering how different these people act which I found it hard to prove to her that fur cons are harmless places. She also thought that it would be safe if my dad would know about my interest in furries and furry events which I declined for her to do it because she doesn’t understand how judgemental and rude he has been to me.
March: My grandmother on my mom’s side died a couple of days before my mom and I went to Destin, FL to see my other sister, my oldest niece and her foreigner friend from her school.
April: Nothing else special that I could remember.
May: My mom and I went to Tanger Outlet in Foley for the first time after 4 years. I bought Mario Kart 8 Deluxe for 30 dollars during the closing sale at Toys R Us Express (has better discounts than the bigger Toys R us in Mobile at this time) and I also went to get some candy at the candy shop. I started staying Final Fantasy 10 HD for PS4, I actually got the copy for the Flea Market form not so short ago. I’d also discovered that game called Night Trap after reading a video history of how the ESRB was created. I watched all footages of Night Trap. I attended Mobicon in 2018 and it was good, not sometimes bad when I had to pick my dad up from work since the truck was acting weird that he doesn’t trust it.
June: I’d finished playing Final Fantasy 10 and it was good, took a break from gaming until after my birthday to Tennessee. At Tennessee, I’ve bought a used Wacom tablet from a bookstore called McKay’s and it’s located in Nashville, my oldest sister’s husband drive me and my other sister’s husband there and I enjoyed there. I also played Dance Dance Revolution A for my very first time at Dave & Buster’s in Nashville, this is my favorite moment. After returning to my hometown, we finally got internet at our house but it was internet essentials from Comcast Xfinity and we still have it now. It’s really worth our time. And I started Final Fantasy 10-2 after taking a break.
July: I ordered the HD remaster of Final Fantasy 7 for PS4 while I was playing World of Final Fantasy which I got from that GameStop in Nashville in that previous month. I started to have love for the Final Fantasy franchise and joined the fandom.
August: I met this white wolf from a NSFW group chat and he lives rhythm games like I do. He told me he likes Groove Coaster while asking questions about himself and he also told me that I can get Groove Coaster on mobile or tablet and then, I checked out what this game is about and that really interested me. And later, I gave it a try and see if I like it and wow, the so amazing and the graphics were willfully done. I even check out videos of other songs in Groove Coaster and it blows my mind that I want to at least get one music pack and I started off with Puzzle and Dragons pack because I seen the videos of this chart which I loved replying so much. Also, I attended A.g.S con and it was really great. They had a game room but didn’t have Nintendo consoles and I should’ve enjoyed other fighting games. I went there on both days.
September: I’ve started on Final Fantasy 15 and man, the graphics there good. Also, I made yet another local fur friend at the Mobifur group, the same day he joined there. The friendship has been going well and still. I also missed a furcon in Northwest Florida due to my parent’s narrow mindedness about the furry fandom.
Does anyone have something to make me happy?
General | Posted 7 years agoHere is a follow up journal. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9014215/
That Sunday, I was officially kicked out of the polyamorous relationship after only nearly 1 and half year of being part of due to my mental problems, sheer amount of talks regarding my family and my stress, and antagonizing 2 or 3 of the members of this relationship.
I've been depressed ever since I've been kicked out and being considered as a friend only. This relationship was amazing and it so much beneficial to me somehow and now, It is hard for me to seek for that kind of relationship that has the same mindset as the one I just got dumped from. Even worse, I also lost 3 of supposed friends who is still in this polyamorous relationship after being told about why I was kicked out and became a friend only. Since I'm losing access to Netflix and Nintendo online subscription. I'd be hooking Kodi back and get my own Nintendo online sub.
I wish there was something that would help me cheer me up. I hope you have something thoughtful to do for me to get over the lost of 3 people in my life, leaving a few as friends, and the memory of being dumped. I am feeling like crap right now.
I appreciate it and think you.
That Sunday, I was officially kicked out of the polyamorous relationship after only nearly 1 and half year of being part of due to my mental problems, sheer amount of talks regarding my family and my stress, and antagonizing 2 or 3 of the members of this relationship.
I've been depressed ever since I've been kicked out and being considered as a friend only. This relationship was amazing and it so much beneficial to me somehow and now, It is hard for me to seek for that kind of relationship that has the same mindset as the one I just got dumped from. Even worse, I also lost 3 of supposed friends who is still in this polyamorous relationship after being told about why I was kicked out and became a friend only. Since I'm losing access to Netflix and Nintendo online subscription. I'd be hooking Kodi back and get my own Nintendo online sub.
I wish there was something that would help me cheer me up. I hope you have something thoughtful to do for me to get over the lost of 3 people in my life, leaving a few as friends, and the memory of being dumped. I am feeling like crap right now.
I appreciate it and think you.
I just got kicked out of the polyamorous relationship...
General | Posted 7 years agoYeah... after almost 1 and half year. For my personal serious issues.
The journal header and footers will be changed soon.
The journal header and footers will be changed soon.
About Me Meme
General | Posted 7 years ago
Stolen from 
spitfiremusicislife
☝ - How tall are you?
5’11”
✔ - Sexual Orientation
Gay.
🚬 - Do you Smoke?
Nope, not at all.
🍷 - Do you Drink?
Used to but not anymore.
♒ - Do you Take Drugs?
No way!
😳 - Age you get mistaken for?
Under 18 perhaps.
💉 - Have Tattoos?
No, don't do tattoos thank you.
✏️ - Want any tattoos?
No way!
✂️ - Got any Piercings?
No.
✌ - Want any piercings?
No...
👌 - Best friend?
I have a few IRL friends and there are 
kitsy27, 
vrouf, and few. For online, I have 
spickdawolf, 
stridentweasel, 
darrenthefox, and other.
🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands?
That's too many to list. I'd say, AKB48, Twice, Gfriend, CLC, and Hello Project girl group bands.
🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs?
That's too many...
😒 - Biggest pet peeve?
Not bothering to come back and message me and reply to any of my messages.
‼️ - Something you’ll change?
🤷♂️
🔥 - Something spicy you like?
Buffalo Wings, burgers with spicy sauce and jalapenos, and hot chips.
👊 - Something you hate?
Fake friends, assholes, being mistreated, and people judging the furry fandom as a bad hobby.
🚶 - Are you single?
No.
🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies?
Too many to list.
📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows?
Gumball, The Loud House, Star vs Forces of evil, Ducktales, and Ok Ko.
✏ - Random fact about yourself.
I'm still unemployed and never had a job in my life.
✈️ - Where are you from?
Mobile, Alabama, US
🚀 - Where do you wanna visit?
All over the US.
🙈 - What makes you shy?
A lot of things.
💃 - Can you dance?
I can't.
👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear?
Sneakers, flip flops.
🌴 🌎 - A country you would visit?
Asia and Europe.
🌀 - Favorite type of weather?
Breeze, rain
🔮 - Do you believe in luck?
Yeah, I do.
📱 - What kinda phone do you have?
Galaxy S7.
📅 - Favorite time of the year?
Fall
📚 - Career goal you want?
Stocker, and a pro artist.
🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat?
Pizza, Philly Cheesesteak, Ramen noodles, Mac and Cheese, and Buffalo wings.
🚔 - Have you ever been arrested?
Never.
🚑 - Have you ever driven in an ambulance before?
Never.
🎫 - Do you have a license?
Yeah.
🚼 - Do you have or want kids?
No.
🔞 - Are you under 18?
Not anymore.
🐶 - Do you own a pet?
Nope.
😔 - Something that makes you sad?
Depression, feeling alone, losing friends, missing out good conventions and events.
😏 - What turns you on?
Donuts, candy, burgers, hugs, snuggles, briefs, bellies, and sports outfits.
💪 - Do you work out?
I wish I could work out often.
spitfiremusicislife
kitsy27
vrouf
stridentweasel
darrenthefoxMy 2019 new years resolution
General | Posted 7 years agoMy 2019 new years resolution
The new year (2019) is coming very soon, so I've made a make of what I would work on for the year 2019.
- Improving new art and such.
- Convincing my parents to understand that furry events are harmless and fun events and there are nothing wrong with attending.
- Convincing my parents support my interest of having friends and hang out with them as well as my furry interests since both of these are what makes me happy and still.
- Doing more research and gathering good info about the good side of the furry fandom so I can prove to my parents that there is nothing wrong with attending furry events.
- Proving to my mom and dad that I can’t handle having friends since I’m more capable to them.
- Keeping my weight the same.
- Sticking to watching anime and reading manga.
- Resist causing fights, conflictions, argument with new furs. I will not get easily angry and making violent threats with them for not bothering to reply. I lost so many good friends (…including Aero Fox, Guil Otter, Jase GShep, Lars Reindeer, Plixo Fox, Spunky GShep, Vash Wolf, and Xenon Wolfbear…) because of this as well as starting fights with them…
- I will try and have the courage to stand up to my parents for myself to help him understand how I feel.
- And finally, will try to get a car for myself so I can focus on attending monthly furry events without any issues. I will also ignore these spiteful furries.
Well, that’s it for today and I hope you guys have good new years resolution of your own.
Have a good day.
The new year (2019) is coming very soon, so I've made a make of what I would work on for the year 2019.
- Improving new art and such.
- Convincing my parents to understand that furry events are harmless and fun events and there are nothing wrong with attending.
- Convincing my parents support my interest of having friends and hang out with them as well as my furry interests since both of these are what makes me happy and still.
- Doing more research and gathering good info about the good side of the furry fandom so I can prove to my parents that there is nothing wrong with attending furry events.
- Proving to my mom and dad that I can’t handle having friends since I’m more capable to them.
- Keeping my weight the same.
- Sticking to watching anime and reading manga.
- Resist causing fights, conflictions, argument with new furs. I will not get easily angry and making violent threats with them for not bothering to reply. I lost so many good friends (…including Aero Fox, Guil Otter, Jase GShep, Lars Reindeer, Plixo Fox, Spunky GShep, Vash Wolf, and Xenon Wolfbear…) because of this as well as starting fights with them…
- I will try and have the courage to stand up to my parents for myself to help him understand how I feel.
- And finally, will try to get a car for myself so I can focus on attending monthly furry events without any issues. I will also ignore these spiteful furries.
Well, that’s it for today and I hope you guys have good new years resolution of your own.
Have a good day.
My parents doesn't care about what makes me happy.
General | Posted 7 years agoAfter hanging out with my local friend at the local cafe for 4 hours. I was on my way home before it gets way darker and I stopped at Dollar Tree near my house just to get a couple of things before I'm finally home. My mom called my phone when I was about to head through the door and my mom asked me where I was at because she was mad about me breaking her rules. And I said I was at Dollar Tree, 30 seconds from my house and then, she scolded me for staying all evening like she told me about before that afternoon when I called her. She complained about me going out for almost 6 hours and also threatened to ban me from driving because she thought that didn't make sense for me to be out all evening. I told her I was at the coffee shop chilling until I was ready to go home and she kept going on about it until she ended the call.
My mom and dad are now ruining my mood especially my furry mood which means I won't be also to have any future chances to go to a furmeet or furcon. That won't never happen.
How can I prove to my parents that I can handle having friends IRL.
My mom and dad are now ruining my mood especially my furry mood which means I won't be also to have any future chances to go to a furmeet or furcon. That won't never happen.
How can I prove to my parents that I can handle having friends IRL.
Check out my Telegram channel.
General | Posted 7 years agoA while ago, I've made a Telegram channel where I post my artworks and other stuff. I made it fir thise who doesn't have Fur Affinity and Twitter accounts.
https://t.me/KoroshiArtsSFW
https://t.me/KoroshiArtsNSFW (18+ Warning)
https://t.me/KoroshiArtsSFW
https://t.me/KoroshiArtsNSFW (18+ Warning)
Life is so very unfair...
General | Posted 7 years agoSo this happens when my mom and I were in Clarksville, TN.
I wanted to go to GameStop as my final stop which I was going to buy something at that GameStop in the mall that Thursday but I didn't have enough money until the next day. My mom wanted pick up something to eat from Publix before that Alabama game started at 11:30am CT but my mom agreed with me going to GameStop before heading to Publix and then the gas station to fill up the car for the next day. I pulled up my GPS and I routed an closer Publix store from my sister's, hoping there would be a GameStop close by which I would be routing when we got there. My mom wanted to take Interstate 24 down to a exit towards Publix rather than the backway but I told him that the backways would be the fastest route to a certain Publix which she agreed with me. While we were traveling down to Publix there was one thing that our next turn would be Dunbar Cave Rd and by the were close to slow down, my mom missed the turn and blamed on me for wasting her time with all these turns and turn backs. But I should told him to slow down before going into the correct turn, I learned to get someone prepare for the next time and I am doing it until we finally got to Publix. I was going to map a GameStop close while we shop at Publix but my mom suddenly asked me if there would be a GameStop very close by which I haven't thought of check out before we left the house. I told him I would find out when we get to Publix but my mom wanted to go to GameStop before Publix and then started to have an attitude on me for my stupidity and my recklessness. My mom decided to leave this parking lot so she would take me to GameStop, and then, she took the wrong way woukd she should be taking the other way it's why towards Interstate 24 and when I told her that she took east instead of west, she got really pissed off with me for almost missing the beginning of the Alabama game and my own stupidity for think what really benefits me. And she also yelled at me for thinming taking backways just because it's the fastest to a certain store benefits me when it's not safe to go through because of the hills and curves which are something that isn't good for us. She permanently banned ne from travelling with me because she had enough of my stupidity and my recklessness and she hopes that my dad would do the same for me when she tells him. She told me that she hopes that people including my friends would know how my mom feels about me telling them which to turn which is enough for them to yell at me. Better yet, she also threatens to hurt me while she yelled at me because she was pissed off of me. She hopes that people that I would ride with would get pissed off of me as well. She also blamed me for missing the first 32 minutes of that Alabama game.
Life is really unfair, I've been trying to be a patient kind of person but Idk why. I feel like shit and I would never going to move forwards to going to a furcon in the future because I'm stupid to mostly rely on backways than the interstates just because it benefits me.
I wanted to go to GameStop as my final stop which I was going to buy something at that GameStop in the mall that Thursday but I didn't have enough money until the next day. My mom wanted pick up something to eat from Publix before that Alabama game started at 11:30am CT but my mom agreed with me going to GameStop before heading to Publix and then the gas station to fill up the car for the next day. I pulled up my GPS and I routed an closer Publix store from my sister's, hoping there would be a GameStop close by which I would be routing when we got there. My mom wanted to take Interstate 24 down to a exit towards Publix rather than the backway but I told him that the backways would be the fastest route to a certain Publix which she agreed with me. While we were traveling down to Publix there was one thing that our next turn would be Dunbar Cave Rd and by the were close to slow down, my mom missed the turn and blamed on me for wasting her time with all these turns and turn backs. But I should told him to slow down before going into the correct turn, I learned to get someone prepare for the next time and I am doing it until we finally got to Publix. I was going to map a GameStop close while we shop at Publix but my mom suddenly asked me if there would be a GameStop very close by which I haven't thought of check out before we left the house. I told him I would find out when we get to Publix but my mom wanted to go to GameStop before Publix and then started to have an attitude on me for my stupidity and my recklessness. My mom decided to leave this parking lot so she would take me to GameStop, and then, she took the wrong way woukd she should be taking the other way it's why towards Interstate 24 and when I told her that she took east instead of west, she got really pissed off with me for almost missing the beginning of the Alabama game and my own stupidity for think what really benefits me. And she also yelled at me for thinming taking backways just because it's the fastest to a certain store benefits me when it's not safe to go through because of the hills and curves which are something that isn't good for us. She permanently banned ne from travelling with me because she had enough of my stupidity and my recklessness and she hopes that my dad would do the same for me when she tells him. She told me that she hopes that people including my friends would know how my mom feels about me telling them which to turn which is enough for them to yell at me. Better yet, she also threatens to hurt me while she yelled at me because she was pissed off of me. She hopes that people that I would ride with would get pissed off of me as well. She also blamed me for missing the first 32 minutes of that Alabama game.
Life is really unfair, I've been trying to be a patient kind of person but Idk why. I feel like shit and I would never going to move forwards to going to a furcon in the future because I'm stupid to mostly rely on backways than the interstates just because it benefits me.
Not attending Emerald's Fur Summit this year sadly. T_T
General | Posted 7 years agoSo if you never heard of "Emerald's Fur Summit" and were curious of what it means, you're not alone. It's one of the recent furry conventions and it's being held in Northwest Florida (Megaplex is currently located on Central Florida as I know), last year, it was originally under "Emerald's Furcon (EFC)" as a free one-day furcon (which I actually missed out due to reasons that I'm about to mention blew) to see how well it did for a three day con which is happening this month.
Emerald's Fur Summit will happen this month from the 21st to 23rd and held in Pensacola which is only one hour away from where I live through riding or driving.
The reason why I won't be planning on going was due to reasons that I'm about to bring up in any minute... Unexpected traffic issues, travel time, my parents not knowing that I have friends online or offline, and my parents being narrow minded about the furry fandom are what preventing me from going to this con. This would have been my first furcon. I really wish I could go but my parents don't trust me with the traveling and meeting with new people. I would go and attend if my parents really encourage to do what I like.
I would like to see and hug my fellow friends and acquaintances like
sultzz.wolf, 
schandeThompson (vice president), 
corporatefox (The CEO) and others but that won't happen this year and I don't know about next year which I would fear that this furcon would go anywhere.
I am not going, I am really not. I am not feeling so good about it. If it weren't for Wallace Tunnel and the Interstate 10 Bayway bridge, my parents would've let me travel to attend there and I would have been more happy also.
When this con happens 2 weeks later, I would be more sad and bored doing nothing but watching YouTube and playing video games. I would take a big break Telegram because I don’t want to see some upcoming pictures of this con. I really don’t. And let’s not forget about those times that I’ve been trying to get both my mom and dad to accept me for what I really like and who I am. Coming out as gay would be a terrible nightmare. Let’s not also forget that I’ve been trying to get my mom to realize there is nothing wrong with attending these furry events.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8620518/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8632929/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8749690/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8833311/
And I also haven't get any comments on this journal yet. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8654380/ (Please read and comment if you really have any advice.)
When EFS starts two weeks later, I would be down as fuck and I would end up crying in tears because I would miss out all the fun.
Good bye and have a good time.
Emerald's Fur Summit will happen this month from the 21st to 23rd and held in Pensacola which is only one hour away from where I live through riding or driving.
The reason why I won't be planning on going was due to reasons that I'm about to bring up in any minute... Unexpected traffic issues, travel time, my parents not knowing that I have friends online or offline, and my parents being narrow minded about the furry fandom are what preventing me from going to this con. This would have been my first furcon. I really wish I could go but my parents don't trust me with the traveling and meeting with new people. I would go and attend if my parents really encourage to do what I like.
I would like to see and hug my fellow friends and acquaintances like
sultzz.wolf, 
schandeThompson (vice president), 
corporatefox (The CEO) and others but that won't happen this year and I don't know about next year which I would fear that this furcon would go anywhere.I am not going, I am really not. I am not feeling so good about it. If it weren't for Wallace Tunnel and the Interstate 10 Bayway bridge, my parents would've let me travel to attend there and I would have been more happy also.
When this con happens 2 weeks later, I would be more sad and bored doing nothing but watching YouTube and playing video games. I would take a big break Telegram because I don’t want to see some upcoming pictures of this con. I really don’t. And let’s not forget about those times that I’ve been trying to get both my mom and dad to accept me for what I really like and who I am. Coming out as gay would be a terrible nightmare. Let’s not also forget that I’ve been trying to get my mom to realize there is nothing wrong with attending these furry events.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8620518/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8632929/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8749690/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8833311/
And I also haven't get any comments on this journal yet. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8654380/ (Please read and comment if you really have any advice.)
When EFS starts two weeks later, I would be down as fuck and I would end up crying in tears because I would miss out all the fun.
Good bye and have a good time.
Non-furry convention rules to understand before meeting.
General | Posted 7 years agoI just want to post this on Fur Affinity just to share to those who prefers Telegram or Twitter more than here.
I'll be at A.g.S con in Ashbury Suite located at Mobile, AL from this Saturday to Sunday (until the closing time for both days). So please remember the following rules.
1. Be nice to me when I hang out with neither one of you.
2. I am autistic and sometimes have trouble socializing. So please do not insult my autism.
3. Do not bring up the past and drama I had with other furries.
4. Do not guilt trip if things go wrong between you and me.
5. I don't mind hugs and small chats.
Finally please be nice to me. I've been going through hard time with my parents especially my dad and still am. I am also struggling to get my dad to accept what I really like especially when it comes to video games and anything animated since I still refuse to know furries to me dad due to the treatment he did to me and still going on. Like really, over "explaining yourself", being cheap with my money, more ice in the cooler, being sarcastic, and over choices on either cooking food or buying fast food. So yeah I've been having a bad emotion over not listening to my dad. I already been in a depression after hearing my friends having fun at this year's Megaplex and will likely am next month when EFS (Emerald's Fur Summit, locating in the same state as Megaplex) happens which I am struggling to get to a furry con. I just want to be happy and enjoy myself at this convention, so again please be nice to me when we bump into each other and hang out.
Last year, I also already got bullied and emotionally hurt by a fursuiter, being accused of stalking them at the now-defunct fan convention when I was only having interest in their fursuit but thankfully, we had it resolved. So please be gentle if you try to warn me.
Here is a lesson that you should learn before you go to any conventions, clean up, do chores and cook meals for your family before you prepare to go. Otherwise, you'd suffer more bad traumas like I do.
One more thing, if you want to know more about the convention, click this following link. https://agscon.weebly.com
I'll be at A.g.S con in Ashbury Suite located at Mobile, AL from this Saturday to Sunday (until the closing time for both days). So please remember the following rules.
1. Be nice to me when I hang out with neither one of you.
2. I am autistic and sometimes have trouble socializing. So please do not insult my autism.
3. Do not bring up the past and drama I had with other furries.
4. Do not guilt trip if things go wrong between you and me.
5. I don't mind hugs and small chats.
Finally please be nice to me. I've been going through hard time with my parents especially my dad and still am. I am also struggling to get my dad to accept what I really like especially when it comes to video games and anything animated since I still refuse to know furries to me dad due to the treatment he did to me and still going on. Like really, over "explaining yourself", being cheap with my money, more ice in the cooler, being sarcastic, and over choices on either cooking food or buying fast food. So yeah I've been having a bad emotion over not listening to my dad. I already been in a depression after hearing my friends having fun at this year's Megaplex and will likely am next month when EFS (Emerald's Fur Summit, locating in the same state as Megaplex) happens which I am struggling to get to a furry con. I just want to be happy and enjoy myself at this convention, so again please be nice to me when we bump into each other and hang out.
Last year, I also already got bullied and emotionally hurt by a fursuiter, being accused of stalking them at the now-defunct fan convention when I was only having interest in their fursuit but thankfully, we had it resolved. So please be gentle if you try to warn me.
Here is a lesson that you should learn before you go to any conventions, clean up, do chores and cook meals for your family before you prepare to go. Otherwise, you'd suffer more bad traumas like I do.
One more thing, if you want to know more about the convention, click this following link. https://agscon.weebly.com
Not feeling so good since everyone had fun at Megaplex.
General | Posted 7 years agoI’m just not feeling well and happy for the most of the time since everyone including my friends had fun at Megaplex but not me since my parents especially my dad are so closed minded when it comes to me traveling outside my hometown. I really feel that when everytime and every year most of my friends and acquaintances enjoy attending AC, FWA, TFF, and other furcons that are close from my hometown. Yes, that’s what’s been getting me so down since going to a furcon is actually in my bucket list. I never went to a furry convention even in my life but I only attended non-furry conventions 3 times and it’s be my 4th time in a couple of week and half. I thought a comic book or a anime conventions would cheer me up so much since fursuiters attend those but I felt like I it’s less than a furcon.
And yesterday, I felt more disappointed that a local friend of mine went to Megaplex while I still haven’t attend it for my first time. Wish makes me feel depressed since i’ve been going through hard time with my parents which i’ve been dealing with long since I graduated from high school and I am scared to tell my parents how I feel without upsetting them. While most of furries were attending Megaplex this year, all I did was to go out, play video games, and watch a single anime and I thought those things would cheer me up so much but I felt like those wouldn’t work. I kinda felt like I am missing out on everything in Megaplex, FWA, and other furcons and it isn’t really fun. I wouldn’t had went at least once if my parents were really opened minded about furries and listened to me more. Sometimes, I couldn’t even fall asleep without thinking about how my friends enjoy the furcon, I just stay up until the morning until I fall asleep.
I am really not happy with living with my parents. I never went to college and never had a job ever since I graduated from high school. I just have my SSI beneficial money for 7 years and counting and I felt like a keeping a 100 dollars and stash up 20 dollars every month aren’t gonna help. The money I stashed and then spent would have went towards my trip to a furry convention one every year. I would’ve been so happy if I ever got hired and made more money than this but idk if I would keep my job so longer than this.
Here is a question, how can I tell my mom and my dad that I've been feeling depressed such as feeling down all the time and laying down doing nothing? Every time my dad goes toxic towards me when things go wrong, I feel depressed and lost my mood of anime and gaming and drawing so quickly. I also cry alone sometimes. My mom still thinks that going to a furcon isn’t a good idea consider how different people act, but that doesn’t mean they are going to do something illegal when they are here to just have fun and play it safe.
I really want to tell my parents how I really feel every time they go toxic against me when things go wrong, but there is a chance that they’d be upset with me if I’ve been honest.
I really want my dad to accept for what I really like and enjoy so that this whole conflict would be over in a few days. I also want my mom to do the same so this whole friends conflict would be over.
And no, this isn't about me wanting to get a fursuit which that would cheer me up soon but not ready to get one yet. It's just about me wanted to attend a furcon which is in my bucket list and I am worried that would take a very long time to make it.
Can somebody help me? Thank you and I appreciate it.
And yesterday, I felt more disappointed that a local friend of mine went to Megaplex while I still haven’t attend it for my first time. Wish makes me feel depressed since i’ve been going through hard time with my parents which i’ve been dealing with long since I graduated from high school and I am scared to tell my parents how I feel without upsetting them. While most of furries were attending Megaplex this year, all I did was to go out, play video games, and watch a single anime and I thought those things would cheer me up so much but I felt like those wouldn’t work. I kinda felt like I am missing out on everything in Megaplex, FWA, and other furcons and it isn’t really fun. I wouldn’t had went at least once if my parents were really opened minded about furries and listened to me more. Sometimes, I couldn’t even fall asleep without thinking about how my friends enjoy the furcon, I just stay up until the morning until I fall asleep.
I am really not happy with living with my parents. I never went to college and never had a job ever since I graduated from high school. I just have my SSI beneficial money for 7 years and counting and I felt like a keeping a 100 dollars and stash up 20 dollars every month aren’t gonna help. The money I stashed and then spent would have went towards my trip to a furry convention one every year. I would’ve been so happy if I ever got hired and made more money than this but idk if I would keep my job so longer than this.
Here is a question, how can I tell my mom and my dad that I've been feeling depressed such as feeling down all the time and laying down doing nothing? Every time my dad goes toxic towards me when things go wrong, I feel depressed and lost my mood of anime and gaming and drawing so quickly. I also cry alone sometimes. My mom still thinks that going to a furcon isn’t a good idea consider how different people act, but that doesn’t mean they are going to do something illegal when they are here to just have fun and play it safe.
I really want to tell my parents how I really feel every time they go toxic against me when things go wrong, but there is a chance that they’d be upset with me if I’ve been honest.
I really want my dad to accept for what I really like and enjoy so that this whole conflict would be over in a few days. I also want my mom to do the same so this whole friends conflict would be over.
And no, this isn't about me wanting to get a fursuit which that would cheer me up soon but not ready to get one yet. It's just about me wanted to attend a furcon which is in my bucket list and I am worried that would take a very long time to make it.
Can somebody help me? Thank you and I appreciate it.
My wolfy friend is now open for coloring commissions.
General | Posted 7 years agoMy wolfy spickdawolf is now accepting coloring commissions. If you have a lined artwork with you, support Spick.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27870281/ Go to this link for more details.
spickdawolf is now accepting coloring commissions. If you have a lined artwork with you, support Spick.http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27870281/ Go to this link for more details.
