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An update on my life, but mostly ranting.
Posted 10 years agoI haven't been active in quite some time and i feel bad. I really want to post more art but i have zero time for my own personal stuff with all these classes I'm taking. I will try and post some of the art stuff I did in college eventually, hopefully over break. I just don't have a lot of time between college and dealing with other real world things. I had a boyfriend, that lasted a year but then out of no where he tells me he has no time for me, when just a month before he was telling me how precious i am to him and how much he loves me. This was my first real relationship in my 23 years of existence. I gave him everything and now I wish i didn't. I once again put my trust into someone who didn't deserve it and it sucks. I hate the fact that I still stay up at night thinking about him and crying over it. Then he invades my dreams. I can't even enjoy playing some of my games because he bought them and I would always ask for advice and ughh it just sucks.
Thankfully I have some awesome friends here that cheered me up and helped me through it but unfortunately I'm so not over it and I wish i could just delete this whole thing from my memory. I want to Go back to being the me who loved being single and not caring about finding love or needing to be close and intimate with another person. as you can see I've never dealt with heartbreak.. I'm not sure how to deal with it either. Part of me wants to crawl into a whole and cry while the other part wants to beat the shit out of the man who crushed my heart, or at least make him feel the pain i do. I'm not one for violence or revenge so no worries about that. I've already crawled unto my bed and cried about several times already so I think I'm good with that.
Speaking of crying I cried during my ASL presentation because my social anxiety decided to be worse than usual for no reason. I felt fine up until I heard my name was called. Then I walked up in front of the lecture hall and started sweating and then shaking, then tears just started pouring out of my eyes and i nearly started blacking out....ughh it was awful. Now I can't make it up so I'm going to be stuck with a C, and really needed to bring it up so i can get a scholarship. I thought i was finally comfortable with that class. it's the same people I had last semester and I aced the presentation then. I don't understand myself. I really don't. Sometimes i can be open and talkative and other times I feel like i'm going to die if there's another person in the room with me. Then there's times i feel like i'm going to die if there's not a person around me.
But anyway it's nice to rant, thank you all who care to read, if not I understand. This is a lot of ranting so yeah xD
Now I'm stressing over finals. Mainly my Digital illustration final because it's due this Thursday and all I have is a sketch. It's suppose to be 2 point perspective ughh just kill me now. This graph we have to make to measure it out is so confusing I don;t even know where to begin. I need to sleep.
Hopefully once Finals are done and I'm back home I will post some art or at least some of the art stuff I did in class.Stuff to do~
Posted 11 years agoThis is just t keep track of stuff I need to do~
Current Art Trades~
None/closed
Commisions~
None/closed
Free art/other
1. Raffle prize for
/DONE
2. Prize for
/not started
I won't be posting art at all this week. I have a shit ton of stuff to do for classes before spring break. I should be posting stuff over spring break and may post more chances for free art if I'm not busy with stuff at home. I'm still not not done with other freebies from my previous journal so be on the look out for those.
Current Art Trades~
None/closed
Commisions~
None/closed
Free art/other
1. Raffle prize for
/DONE2. Prize for
/not startedI won't be posting art at all this week. I have a shit ton of stuff to do for classes before spring break. I should be posting stuff over spring break and may post more chances for free art if I'm not busy with stuff at home. I'm still not not done with other freebies from my previous journal so be on the look out for those.
