That's how many submissions I've missed, how many wait to be viewed. I started to go through them but...nah.
All those artists I've watched, all those...memories.
I'm not going through it anymore. People are garbage. Give me a nice whiskey, a good cigar, and some deathcore playing for ambiance.
Catch a dick you fuckwits.

In the 3rd cycle of the rule of Ka-Nergal, in the year of the Cobra, the end of winter, I was born.

Happy Birthday to me.

Got the stitches out of my arm today. Still going to be a while before I'm back to full strength (maybe more if things go according to plan).

It's gnarly looking but you know what? Scars are a reminder of how much I can take, how far the world is willing to go to stop me. You see these scars, fate? These scars mean you failed. Crush my hand, nearly sever my arm? What else you got?

Bring it on.

900 plus pound industrial machine fell on my arm monday. Never a good day when you can see INSIDE your arm.

I have it. WTF right? Ask for it or whatever.

Light your candle and leave your offerings, the spirits are out tonight.

So in an effort to get out there, mix it up, and be a part of the community; I need some art.

I am willing to throw down half on a commission that involves you and yours truly.
Problem? I am terrible at talking with people, either too subtle or too blunt.
So, I am here reaching out to any that read this as an open invitation. SFW, NSFW, whatever! Comment here on this journal to open a dialogue and let's see what we can do.
Let's find some artists with reasonable prices and hash out some details.

And...go.

Punching inanimate objects, particularly heavy machines made of steel, is ill advised.

That is all.

Yes.

Oh right, more info. Well how do I answer that? What calendar do I use?
Let's see...older than most countries. Older than English has been a language.
I saw the construction of the Coliseum. Saw Carthage burn. I heard about the fall of Troy (still can't get over how they brought that thing inside, idiots.) Oh, has Baset asked about me? No? She is probably busy. Don't tell her I asked. I remember walking along port of Ur, you know when it had a port...and wasn't in the middle of the desert.
But my earliest memories, long ago when I was just a hatchling, was the view from my room in the great city of Al-ta'an. The canals and the ships, the great quarry of blue and gold stones.
How long ago was that? Hard to say really. A long time ago.
So, how old am I? Does it matter?

From Al'ta Ahn, to the trackless desert. To Ur and Egypt, to the Aegean islands to Carthage and Rome, from the Carpathians to the Alps to the fjords, across the great sea to the new world...
The road is long and winding. The path is not always clear. But as long as I can place one foot forward, I walk on. To the friends I've made and lost (takes a drink), to the enemies that stood in my way (briefly), to all the sights I've seen and knowledge I've gained... I carry on.

Nothing has stopped me yet. No foe has caused me more than a minor delay. My fire burns. My passion yearns. My wisdom grows. I may slow, but I will never stop.

Ever.

It called for it trust me.
So what has this dragon been up to? Kicking ass at a new job? Check. Keeping bills paid on time? Check. Dispensing my modern barbarian philosophy on coworkers that are actually interested? Check.

In a few days the unholy spawn (my son) will he turning seven. SEVEN! Wow.

And very soon...the last writhing vestigial rot clinging to my life will at last be cut and I will be truly free. Georgia and all the dark memories will he left behind and, thankfully, where it belongs. The past.

Ramble ramble blah blah. Stuff and happenings.

Anyway... how about a quote from yours truly?

"To those that hunger for my defeat, I will watch you starve."

Nothing deep and philosophical this time. Just listing off what I have at the moment.

Time. Time heals all wounds. Time waits for no one. Time is money.
Time...
In time I will get my tax refund. In time I will start a new job with better hours. In time I will have a reliable second vehicle to allow more freedom to my family. In time I will be vaccinated against this pestilence.

I look back. I see a dragon that once said: In time I will move to a new home in a different state. In time I will escape from the weight of the past. In time I will reignite the fire within me and claim my victory.

Now, I live in a new home in a different state. I have escaped the weight of the past. My fire burns.

In time...

All the planning, the plotting, the preparation for whatever task before you...does not guarantee victory. Victory must be earned. Triumph comes to those willing to work, willing to seize it. You may be outnumbered, out matched, out of time, hopeless...
But if you refuse to go down, refuse to stop, refuse to allow defeat, you will never be beaten.
Whether you hold an image of a loved one, a cherished friend, a goal, or just sheer spite to see the frustration on your foes' face: Never stop.
Take a step forward today. Tomorrow, take another. If you are forced back, do not relent. Step forward again and watch as your enemy's hope drains.
Victory is not guaranteed. Take it.

Severe Bronchitis! Whew.

You know the one, THAT one. I MIGHT have it. I might have a cold. I might be experiencing allergies.

How could this MAYBE have happened? A relative went out of state to an MMA event where nobody was wearing masks. My son visited their house when they got back...and now we are all sick. Fever, cough...the whole kit. Did a test Friday but haven't heard back on the results.

I just want to know, yes or no. If it isnt THAT one, then he can go back to school and I can get back to work. If it is THAT one, then we go from there. The waiting though! Gah! I hate the waiting.

Been taking it easy, resting, getting some game time, eating lots of rice and noodles to keep my energy up. Son is doing fine now and eager to get back to school so my money is on common cold. Better safe than sorry though, so limited time out of the house.

Basically what I'm getting at is I AM BORED.

All I ask is to bring my enemy to me. Place them in my sight, place them in my reach. Let my hammer find their body, let my fire find their flesh, bring their neck to my teeth.

I do not pray for victory. I pray for the chance. Victory I will take for myself.

No matter what your plans may be...
The enemy comes, whether it be a horde that cries for blood, bills to pay, or the very weight of the day...the enemy comes.

You can plan to flank, out maneuver, draw them in... but in the end you must face the enemy. In the end it will be you versus them.

If an enemy is not confronted they will succeed. No matter how strong or weak you think you are, if you do not face the enemy you will falter.

"Our number is few, our errand is dire. We do what must be done."

The secret to being victorious is to be unstoppable. No matter the foe, no matter the obstacle, never stop. Defeat only comes when you allow it.

Even a smoldering ember can ignite a roaring fire.

Now roar.

Always Forward.

So what is this journal entry about? Thoughts. Krael thoughts.

I want to be sociable, build up my repertoire of scales and furs I can get to know, do commissions with, share ideas and common ground.
My problem? I'm a touch of an asshole and have other things going on. I'm not always in the mood to talk and not always quick to reply. This rubs people the wrong way sometimes and at the slightest hint they no longer want to continue I'll back out, thinking it is something I did or said (or didnt do or say).
If I do this, I'm sorry, but if the frustration of having to fix it outweighs the things in my life that are priority (job, family, keeping my ever present anger in check) then guess what? If you dont want it, I wont give it.
That being said, dont be afraid to talk to this barbarian. Just be mindful I have other things going on and while I value any that wish to talk, all my time is not devoted to it.

I offer my hand, if you do not take it I will move on. Semper Deinceps.

I work 6 days a week. My schedule flips weekly from days to afternoons and what I do also changes. Some days what I do takes up all my attention and other days I'm so bored with waiting I sing the most vile songs in the most upbeat way possible. (Eviseration Plague in the style of The Wiggles for example)
Anyway, when I have time off, it is spent with my family unit:  Mushabon and the little dragon in training that is my son.
Shopping for groceries, taking care of household chores, getting some recreation time with my current video game of choice (Conan Exiles, in all its buggy glory) and planning out my next week.
Sometimes this limited time and so much to do gets to me and I have a "moment". Mental health was something that was never high on my list of priorities years ago but these days? Lithium pills, Theanine pills, meditation and other mental exercises keep my rebellious brain in check. Intermittent Explosive Disorder is real and no joke folks, I struggle with it every day but it doesnt control me anymore.
So where am I going with this? Like I fucking know. It is a journal, where I share my thoughts, so here they are. My thoughts. Some of them anyway.

Always carry a handy dandy notepad.
Weird that I learned anything really, since I was much older than the recommended viewing age, was gorged on cheap pizza and mostly drunk while watching.

Yeah, you. You watchers. Are you burning with questions? Burning with desire? Currently burning?

Engage! Ask questions, I'll answer. What good is knowledge if not shared? I'm full of it... Knowledge I mean. And I want to fill you too... Make of that however you want.

100, 150 years? Or is it just 10? Who knows? Who cares? I'm back. Forgot/lost old profile info of previous username "Krael" but it is still there, not that much is going on in it.

Anyway. The god damn dragon is back. WHERE IS MY DRINK?