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A word on resopnsibility.
General | Posted 16 years agoI would like, if I may, to talk for a moment about alcohol. While I never saw the appeal, people tell me that they enjoy the feelings of freedom and lack of inhibition. That's great. On the other, hand, they also tell me stories of times they've drunk too much and done things that are stupid. Also great, for me at least.
Now, stereotypically speaking, plenty of men would have stories that culminate in a morning spent with a pounding headache and the realization that they've slept with someone they wouldn't have whilst sober. And we laugh at this scenario, because it's funny when people do things they didn't intend to do.
Let's look at this story the other way around.
A woman goes out drinking, and has a bit too much. She leaves on the arm of a man, openly to wake in the morning to find she'd rather not have spent the night with him, and certainly would never have done so had she been sober. It is at this point that she tells someone the story and the police are called. Why? Because this is, somehow, rape.
Excuse me?
What made the situations at all different besides the sex of the regretful party?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Let it never be said sexism is one-way.
And while I'm on the subject, why do women receive a magical take-it-back card when it comes to sex while intoxicated?
You are responsible for dancing on tables when you're drunk. You are responsible for public nudity when you're drunk. You are responsible for committing a crime when you're drunk. You are responsible for crashing your car when you're drunk.
So why the hell should you not be responsible for having sex when you're drunk?
Please, please stop pretending women don't make bad sex decisions.
Now, stereotypically speaking, plenty of men would have stories that culminate in a morning spent with a pounding headache and the realization that they've slept with someone they wouldn't have whilst sober. And we laugh at this scenario, because it's funny when people do things they didn't intend to do.
Let's look at this story the other way around.
A woman goes out drinking, and has a bit too much. She leaves on the arm of a man, openly to wake in the morning to find she'd rather not have spent the night with him, and certainly would never have done so had she been sober. It is at this point that she tells someone the story and the police are called. Why? Because this is, somehow, rape.
Excuse me?
What made the situations at all different besides the sex of the regretful party?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Let it never be said sexism is one-way.
And while I'm on the subject, why do women receive a magical take-it-back card when it comes to sex while intoxicated?
You are responsible for dancing on tables when you're drunk. You are responsible for public nudity when you're drunk. You are responsible for committing a crime when you're drunk. You are responsible for crashing your car when you're drunk.
So why the hell should you not be responsible for having sex when you're drunk?
Please, please stop pretending women don't make bad sex decisions.
oo...
General | Posted 16 years agoHeeeeey...
I've got 50 submissions...
Cool!
I've got 50 submissions...
Cool!
Poetry.
General | Posted 17 years agoMmkay.
SO.
Poetry.
Poetry is when you spend a decent amount of time packing a large smount of content into a tiny number of words, conveying a subject and a tone through the use of literary conventions.
A sting of thoughts that rhyme is not a poem.
A string of words in a pretty rhythm is not a poem.
A string of words arrange in visually pleasing ways is not a poem.
Stop.
The.
God.
Damn.
Crap.
I can haz peace nao?
Kthxbai.
SO.
Poetry.
Poetry is when you spend a decent amount of time packing a large smount of content into a tiny number of words, conveying a subject and a tone through the use of literary conventions.
A sting of thoughts that rhyme is not a poem.
A string of words in a pretty rhythm is not a poem.
A string of words arrange in visually pleasing ways is not a poem.
Stop.
The.
God.
Damn.
Crap.
I can haz peace nao?
Kthxbai.
RXN Special Danger Team Report!
General | Posted 17 years agoHello, there, one and all! This is Ricardo Santaguadalupe with RXN news network! Mark suffered a horrible death at the hands of our last interviewee-who-shall-not-be-named! We go now to Reizer Correspondent, Sandy Beeswax.
~~~~
Thanks, Ricardo. And, actually, my name is Suzie Gestennelwhichzen.
Now, then. RXN news has once again risked life and limb to track down the famous Kris Reizer and bribe him with gaudy furnishings to grace us with an interview. I have to ask, Mr. Reizer. Just why was it that you came all the way out here to Russia?
Well, Madame Butterfly,
Beeswa- I mean Gestennelwhichzen!
Righto, Alice. I'm here to plan the invasion of America, beginning with Sarah Palin's home, for it is clearly the first logical target.
I see. Moving on, rumor has it that you're in the works on something fantastic. Is this true?
Nope.
...
...
What?
No.. the rumor is wrong. I'm just a foxy in drag for halloween this year. No big plans.
Well, there you have it, folks! See you all next broadcast!
~~~~
Thanks, Ricardo. And, actually, my name is Suzie Gestennelwhichzen.
Now, then. RXN news has once again risked life and limb to track down the famous Kris Reizer and bribe him with gaudy furnishings to grace us with an interview. I have to ask, Mr. Reizer. Just why was it that you came all the way out here to Russia?
Well, Madame Butterfly,
Beeswa- I mean Gestennelwhichzen!
Righto, Alice. I'm here to plan the invasion of America, beginning with Sarah Palin's home, for it is clearly the first logical target.
I see. Moving on, rumor has it that you're in the works on something fantastic. Is this true?
Nope.
...
...
What?
No.. the rumor is wrong. I'm just a foxy in drag for halloween this year. No big plans.
Well, there you have it, folks! See you all next broadcast!
'Nother Meme!
General | Posted 17 years ago1.) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
The Maya UI presnts these nodes to you in many ways. On the right is an image of the Channel Box where you can edit and animate node attributes.
2.) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you reach?
Aboslutely nothing …
3.) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The cheesing episode of South Park.
4.) Without looking guess what time it is?
10:00 P.M.
5.) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:05:27
6.) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The Daily Show with John Stewart
7.) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
When I left school to come home.. Had an argument with mom.. Blah blah blah. Angst and pubescence.
8.) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Erm… pr0n… <blushes>
9.) What are you wearing?
T-shirt, black, posion mushroom, “Game Over”; Jeans, blue; underpants, boxer shorts; socks white.
10.) Did you dream last night?
I don’t dream very often…
11.) When did you last laugh?
6th hour of school…. I made the face from Calvin and Hobbes where you dry out your top teeth and get your lip stuck at the gum line, then pull up on the end of your nose. Mass hysteria ensued. I was then called the glimmer of the room at that moment… literary references are weird.
12.) What are on the walls you are in?
Er…. The thermostat
13.) Seen anything weird lately?
I have seen small, animated people being sprayed in the face with concentrated cat urine and being transported to a psychedelic world where loud rock music never ceases and one must fight in a coliseum made of stone bewbage to win the right to bathe with this chick with rockin’ tits, with the soap and the lathering and whatnot. I cannot imagine a worse hell.
14.) What do you think of this quiz?
Divertido です
15.) What was the last film you saw?
Erm… Bender’s big score
16.) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Step One: Buy Zephon out of the damn army
Step Two: Amazing computer with graphics setup
Step Three: Set of all varieties of carinets
Step Four: Pay for college.
Step Six: ((totally stealing from Zephon)) Mansion with full amenities for the continual hangout and partying of mine friends and family.
Step 7: Investments, followed by retirement fund and charities
17.) Tell me something about you that I don't know?
My name is Kris…. You don’t know anything about me, right? Who wrote this thing?
18.)If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would it be?
Cause people to feel any pain they inflict on others, thus ending prejudice and other such horrors
19.) Do you like to dance?
HAAAAAI! I can’t dance, but it doesn’t matter. I’m gay! The trends follow ME.
20.) George Bush:
Is only for now….
But seriously, the man is the opposite of the definition of his office. The President’s job is to carry out the will of the citizens, and nothing more.
21.) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Menuetta. She will be adopted from China. I will take Chinese classes with her so as to, hopefully, give her some of her heritage. She will, however, grow up to be very American. I have no idea how I could possibly raise a son… what if he turned out to be a “guy” guy? Y’know, with the football and the obsession with weight lifting? The lack of common ground is terrifying….
22.) Would you ever consider living abroad?
Not at all. One, I like this place, and despite its flaws, we enjoy more freedoms than most other places in the world. Two, I have, for that reason, a patriotic streak. Not for what we are at any given time, but for the ideals on which we are founded.
23.) What do you want God to say when you reach the pearly gates?
I can’t for the life of me make a guess. The surprise is half the fun, anyway.
24.) Tag six people who must also do this in THEIR journal
Erm… Mimi. (HA! It’s funny.. See, cuz it’s like Meme! …only it’s Mimi! LAUGH! LAUGH AT MY ATTEMPTS AT COMEDY!)
The Maya UI presnts these nodes to you in many ways. On the right is an image of the Channel Box where you can edit and animate node attributes.
2.) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you reach?
Aboslutely nothing …
3.) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The cheesing episode of South Park.
4.) Without looking guess what time it is?
10:00 P.M.
5.) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:05:27
6.) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The Daily Show with John Stewart
7.) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
When I left school to come home.. Had an argument with mom.. Blah blah blah. Angst and pubescence.
8.) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Erm… pr0n… <blushes>
9.) What are you wearing?
T-shirt, black, posion mushroom, “Game Over”; Jeans, blue; underpants, boxer shorts; socks white.
10.) Did you dream last night?
I don’t dream very often…
11.) When did you last laugh?
6th hour of school…. I made the face from Calvin and Hobbes where you dry out your top teeth and get your lip stuck at the gum line, then pull up on the end of your nose. Mass hysteria ensued. I was then called the glimmer of the room at that moment… literary references are weird.
12.) What are on the walls you are in?
Er…. The thermostat
13.) Seen anything weird lately?
I have seen small, animated people being sprayed in the face with concentrated cat urine and being transported to a psychedelic world where loud rock music never ceases and one must fight in a coliseum made of stone bewbage to win the right to bathe with this chick with rockin’ tits, with the soap and the lathering and whatnot. I cannot imagine a worse hell.
14.) What do you think of this quiz?
Divertido です
15.) What was the last film you saw?
Erm… Bender’s big score
16.) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Step One: Buy Zephon out of the damn army
Step Two: Amazing computer with graphics setup
Step Three: Set of all varieties of carinets
Step Four: Pay for college.
Step Six: ((totally stealing from Zephon)) Mansion with full amenities for the continual hangout and partying of mine friends and family.
Step 7: Investments, followed by retirement fund and charities
17.) Tell me something about you that I don't know?
My name is Kris…. You don’t know anything about me, right? Who wrote this thing?
18.)If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would it be?
Cause people to feel any pain they inflict on others, thus ending prejudice and other such horrors
19.) Do you like to dance?
HAAAAAI! I can’t dance, but it doesn’t matter. I’m gay! The trends follow ME.
20.) George Bush:
Is only for now….
But seriously, the man is the opposite of the definition of his office. The President’s job is to carry out the will of the citizens, and nothing more.
21.) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Menuetta. She will be adopted from China. I will take Chinese classes with her so as to, hopefully, give her some of her heritage. She will, however, grow up to be very American. I have no idea how I could possibly raise a son… what if he turned out to be a “guy” guy? Y’know, with the football and the obsession with weight lifting? The lack of common ground is terrifying….
22.) Would you ever consider living abroad?
Not at all. One, I like this place, and despite its flaws, we enjoy more freedoms than most other places in the world. Two, I have, for that reason, a patriotic streak. Not for what we are at any given time, but for the ideals on which we are founded.
23.) What do you want God to say when you reach the pearly gates?
I can’t for the life of me make a guess. The surprise is half the fun, anyway.
24.) Tag six people who must also do this in THEIR journal
Erm… Mimi. (HA! It’s funny.. See, cuz it’s like Meme! …only it’s Mimi! LAUGH! LAUGH AT MY ATTEMPTS AT COMEDY!)
OMG! My first meme!
General | Posted 18 years agoRULES:
Character Name
Description of Character
Class (Speed, Balanced, Heavy)
Taunt (Whatever you would like your chatacter to do if you hit the Taunt Button)
Smash Attacks
- Standard (Can move, but generally should not)
- Up (must be an attack that can assist in getting back on stage if knocked off)
- Side (a forward momentum attack of some sort)
- Down (a shielding or trap technique)
- Final Smash - TYPE IN CAPS (whatever you like, seeing as how FS's can be game changers)
Personal Stage (be as descriptive as you like; use current smash stages as examples if necessary, but note, the stage MUST have a gimmick to it)
Personal Music (Whatever you like!)
Hmmkay, here we go!
A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!!!
Character Name: Kris
Description of Character: This Kitsune has come with his brother Zephon T'sol to fight the vicious Subspace Emissary... as long as it's amusing.
Class: Speed (Kris floats an inch or two above the ground while moving, giving him great movement speed, but low weight)
Taunt: Kris does a floating back flip and yells "Yatta!"
Smash Attacks
- Standard: Foxfire A bit of purple foxfire explodes from the end of Kris' hand,knocking back nearby enemies
- Up: Fox Dance Kris jumps into the air with a twist, releasing a spinning burst of foxfire.
- Side: Fox Magic Kris pulls out a leaf and transforms it with a puff of smoke into a sword, a staff, or... a leaf! (random selection). The leaf can only be thrown once, but the other two weapons allow for highly chainable melee moves at the cost of rendering Kris' special moves unusable.
- Down: Flare Cuccoon Kris crouches and charges a dome of foxfire around himself. The longer it is held, up to a certain point, the more damage it does. But be careful! Hold it toolong and Kris will be the only one exploding.
- Final Smash - FOXFIRE FINISHER: The camera zooms in on Kris, who reaches into his sleeves and pulls out two large paper talismans. Holding the right one out, he yells "Fertig!" the screen fills with small balls of foxfire. Kris then holds out the left talisman, yelling "Shiagari!" Beams of purple light connect each ball of foxfire with the balls near it. This web remains on the field for a short time, damaging and briefly immobilizing any opponent that falls into the deadly beams.
Stage: Tech Forest- a bizarre mash-up of technology and an ancient Japanese forest. The leaves that fall from these trees become high-tech instruments of destruction, but only for a short while! Various part of the stage swap between lush forest and technological wonderland.
Personal Music: "Kitsune Konpyuta"- a driving Techno theme is doubled by traditional Japanese instruments in this fusion of old and new musical stylings.
Aaaannd That's all! What do you think?
Character Name
Description of Character
Class (Speed, Balanced, Heavy)
Taunt (Whatever you would like your chatacter to do if you hit the Taunt Button)
Smash Attacks
- Standard (Can move, but generally should not)
- Up (must be an attack that can assist in getting back on stage if knocked off)
- Side (a forward momentum attack of some sort)
- Down (a shielding or trap technique)
- Final Smash - TYPE IN CAPS (whatever you like, seeing as how FS's can be game changers)
Personal Stage (be as descriptive as you like; use current smash stages as examples if necessary, but note, the stage MUST have a gimmick to it)
Personal Music (Whatever you like!)
Hmmkay, here we go!
A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!!!
Character Name: Kris
Description of Character: This Kitsune has come with his brother Zephon T'sol to fight the vicious Subspace Emissary... as long as it's amusing.
Class: Speed (Kris floats an inch or two above the ground while moving, giving him great movement speed, but low weight)
Taunt: Kris does a floating back flip and yells "Yatta!"
Smash Attacks
- Standard: Foxfire A bit of purple foxfire explodes from the end of Kris' hand,knocking back nearby enemies
- Up: Fox Dance Kris jumps into the air with a twist, releasing a spinning burst of foxfire.
- Side: Fox Magic Kris pulls out a leaf and transforms it with a puff of smoke into a sword, a staff, or... a leaf! (random selection). The leaf can only be thrown once, but the other two weapons allow for highly chainable melee moves at the cost of rendering Kris' special moves unusable.
- Down: Flare Cuccoon Kris crouches and charges a dome of foxfire around himself. The longer it is held, up to a certain point, the more damage it does. But be careful! Hold it toolong and Kris will be the only one exploding.
- Final Smash - FOXFIRE FINISHER: The camera zooms in on Kris, who reaches into his sleeves and pulls out two large paper talismans. Holding the right one out, he yells "Fertig!" the screen fills with small balls of foxfire. Kris then holds out the left talisman, yelling "Shiagari!" Beams of purple light connect each ball of foxfire with the balls near it. This web remains on the field for a short time, damaging and briefly immobilizing any opponent that falls into the deadly beams.
Stage: Tech Forest- a bizarre mash-up of technology and an ancient Japanese forest. The leaves that fall from these trees become high-tech instruments of destruction, but only for a short while! Various part of the stage swap between lush forest and technological wonderland.
Personal Music: "Kitsune Konpyuta"- a driving Techno theme is doubled by traditional Japanese instruments in this fusion of old and new musical stylings.
Aaaannd That's all! What do you think?
Happy Happy Joy Joy!
General | Posted 18 years agoSO!
...
I totally got into ISU. A college wants me! I don't phail completely!
/dances
=^_^=
...
I totally got into ISU. A college wants me! I don't phail completely!
/dances
=^_^=
A Message to my Friends
General | Posted 18 years agoWell,It just kind of dawned on me that I've never said the things I'm about to, and I think they really need to be said.
My friends, I want you all to know just how much you mean to me. I love you all more than I could possibly ever say, and I truly wish I could find the words. You guys are what keeps me going when life gets hard and what makes the best times so wonderful. IN the end, you guys are what really makes my life worth living, and you all mean the world to me.
Thank you for being my friends.
My friends, I want you all to know just how much you mean to me. I love you all more than I could possibly ever say, and I truly wish I could find the words. You guys are what keeps me going when life gets hard and what makes the best times so wonderful. IN the end, you guys are what really makes my life worth living, and you all mean the world to me.
Thank you for being my friends.
2 AM
General | Posted 18 years agoIt's 2 AM,but where am I?
I'm not really sure.
It's a bit difficult to tell,you see..I'm a bit confused at the moment.
I sit and I sigh and I wonder, remembering times gone by.
But where does that get me? Nowhere.
Not really.
It's 2AM,but where are you?
Walking away with the rest of the world,
And here I sit, and I wonder.
Just what is it that lets the world get to me when others just walk by?
And the world slips away under the weight of the pixels.
As I pour out my heart to this box.
And no one really know just what I'm talking about, but that's ok.
It's all ok, just not the way I wish it was.
It's 2 am, and I'm right here,
A little afraid of those thoughts that pop up just before sleep.
It's not really sadness, just not the happily-ever-after that should have been.
2 AM has a nasty way of pulling away my security blanket.
And the world keeps on spinning, and the sun'll still shine
And all I can do is to sit here and whine.
Good night, myfriends, and may your slumbers be better than mine.
I'm not really sure.
It's a bit difficult to tell,you see..I'm a bit confused at the moment.
I sit and I sigh and I wonder, remembering times gone by.
But where does that get me? Nowhere.
Not really.
It's 2AM,but where are you?
Walking away with the rest of the world,
And here I sit, and I wonder.
Just what is it that lets the world get to me when others just walk by?
And the world slips away under the weight of the pixels.
As I pour out my heart to this box.
And no one really know just what I'm talking about, but that's ok.
It's all ok, just not the way I wish it was.
It's 2 am, and I'm right here,
A little afraid of those thoughts that pop up just before sleep.
It's not really sadness, just not the happily-ever-after that should have been.
2 AM has a nasty way of pulling away my security blanket.
And the world keeps on spinning, and the sun'll still shine
And all I can do is to sit here and whine.
Good night, myfriends, and may your slumbers be better than mine.
RXN Special Report!
General | Posted 18 years agoHello, FA-goers! We are interrupting your regularly scheduled lives to bring you another breaking story. Off we go to special deputy correspondents Kris Reizer and Rando.
~~~~
Thanks, mark! Rando and I are here at the Street Festival in downtown Cornland, Illinois.
That's right, Kris, and the festivities are, well, soggy.
Your mom is soggy.
Your face is soggy!
Mr. Madden's soggy!
The banister's soggy!
Luckily!
In court!
With Star Fox!
...
Damn. I don't think I can beat that...
Wait, a minute, yes I can!
*Indeterminate Pod-Racing song*
...
Aaaaaanyway... Rando, what do you think of the lovely stores that have remained open for the sole purpose of suffering our pestilence?
Well, Kris, over here, there seems to be some kind of clothing store.
Oh.
My.
God.
NOOOOOOOO!!!
The clothes!
They're tacky! And the display models clash with the ugly wigs!
Calm down, Kris! I found a rainbow feather boa!
Oh, sweet Matilda!
Erm... yes.. While Kris finishes up with the boa, I shall continue our tour of the tacky clothing store. Oh, look! There's a sale-lady! Excuse me, but how would you describe your establishment?
Do you children plan on buying anything, or are you just going to molest the rest of my boas?
WHEE-HEEEEEEE!!!!
Don't be silly, Ma'am. He's just excited to be here. Now, why don't you tell me-
Rando! I found a bag shaped like a CORSET!
Sweet Jesus in valhalla! For the viewers at home, this object is a little hard plastic number, shaped like a pink and frilly corset. And now, Kris is proceeding with the investigation by-
Help! Police! There are teenagers in my store! No, no! They molested my boas, bound and gagged me and they're about to do unspeakable things with my corset-shaped bag! Hello? Hello?!
Erm... Rando, I think we should probably leave now.
Really? You think so? Oh look! A dark alleyway!
Eww.. thith alley ith trashy! Wonder Fox powers, activate!
...
Kris... What are you doing?
Finished! And see? Thith old, duthty alley ith now a fantabulouth trendy cafe!
...
Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!...
Why are you singing 'Ode to Joy?'
Oh, no reason. I think it's time to turn off the cameras, don't you, Kris?
What? We've only just-
Don't you, Kris?
Erm... right.... Well, you saw it here, everyone! The best of downtown champaign as can be explored by only two band geeks at 11 PM! RXN News Network out!
~~~~
Thanks, mark! Rando and I are here at the Street Festival in downtown Cornland, Illinois.
That's right, Kris, and the festivities are, well, soggy.
Your mom is soggy.
Your face is soggy!
Mr. Madden's soggy!
The banister's soggy!
Luckily!
In court!
With Star Fox!
...
Damn. I don't think I can beat that...
Wait, a minute, yes I can!
*Indeterminate Pod-Racing song*
...
Aaaaaanyway... Rando, what do you think of the lovely stores that have remained open for the sole purpose of suffering our pestilence?
Well, Kris, over here, there seems to be some kind of clothing store.
Oh.
My.
God.
NOOOOOOOO!!!
The clothes!
They're tacky! And the display models clash with the ugly wigs!
Calm down, Kris! I found a rainbow feather boa!
Oh, sweet Matilda!
Erm... yes.. While Kris finishes up with the boa, I shall continue our tour of the tacky clothing store. Oh, look! There's a sale-lady! Excuse me, but how would you describe your establishment?
Do you children plan on buying anything, or are you just going to molest the rest of my boas?
WHEE-HEEEEEEE!!!!
Don't be silly, Ma'am. He's just excited to be here. Now, why don't you tell me-
Rando! I found a bag shaped like a CORSET!
Sweet Jesus in valhalla! For the viewers at home, this object is a little hard plastic number, shaped like a pink and frilly corset. And now, Kris is proceeding with the investigation by-
Help! Police! There are teenagers in my store! No, no! They molested my boas, bound and gagged me and they're about to do unspeakable things with my corset-shaped bag! Hello? Hello?!
Erm... Rando, I think we should probably leave now.
Really? You think so? Oh look! A dark alleyway!
Eww.. thith alley ith trashy! Wonder Fox powers, activate!
...
Kris... What are you doing?
Finished! And see? Thith old, duthty alley ith now a fantabulouth trendy cafe!
...
Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!...
Why are you singing 'Ode to Joy?'
Oh, no reason. I think it's time to turn off the cameras, don't you, Kris?
What? We've only just-
Don't you, Kris?
Erm... right.... Well, you saw it here, everyone! The best of downtown champaign as can be explored by only two band geeks at 11 PM! RXN News Network out!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
General | Posted 18 years agoIt is now 11:30 P.M. in Krisatopia.
I've been dicking around with this txt file IN NOTEPAD for one and a half hours, trying to get FA's parser to like it. I finally made ti perfect, and what does FA do? It decides, whilst it is surely off wondering about the promiscuous fornication of its matriarch, that I have not been a good little boy this year and, therefore, my story shall be accepted into the servers and not shown to the general public! Thank you. Thank you so much, FA. I have Band Camp tomorrow, and I could have been sleeping. But nooOOooo, I just HAD to try and please you. You know what? You're terrible, FA parser! You take, take, take, and you drain others of their love and emotion. I loved you. Do you hear me? I loved you! and what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you. A big nothing! I'm going back to Transexxual.
I've been dicking around with this txt file IN NOTEPAD for one and a half hours, trying to get FA's parser to like it. I finally made ti perfect, and what does FA do? It decides, whilst it is surely off wondering about the promiscuous fornication of its matriarch, that I have not been a good little boy this year and, therefore, my story shall be accepted into the servers and not shown to the general public! Thank you. Thank you so much, FA. I have Band Camp tomorrow, and I could have been sleeping. But nooOOooo, I just HAD to try and please you. You know what? You're terrible, FA parser! You take, take, take, and you drain others of their love and emotion. I loved you. Do you hear me? I loved you! and what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you. A big nothing! I'm going back to Transexxual.
Shocking New Developments!
General | Posted 18 years agoWe here at the RXN News Network have received word of a shocking development from superstar and 3d Modeler extraordinare, Kris Reizer. We go now live to our correspondent Suzy Gestennelwhichzen.
Thank you, Mark. I'm standing here with the amazing Kris Reizer in an exclusive interview to determine just what his fantastic announcement could be. Kris?
...
Exclusive interview, my ass. Get out of my bathroom.
Oh, what lovely wallpaper you have in here?
Ah! Don't you just love it? See how it matches the tile perfe- waaait a minute! That won't work on me! You're trying to grab my interest by getting me to talk about interior design! Bah! Begone with you!
Oh, please? We'll give you a Persian rug with matching curtains!
...
Glittery curtains?
Gaudier than Siegfried and Roy.
Score!
All right, what do ya wanna know?
Well, we were hoping to get the inside scoop on your shocking news.
Ah, an easy question, Ms. Beeswax. You see-
Er, my name is-
Like I was saying, Ms. Beeswax. I have made a fascinating new discovery in the field of gravitational physics. I have discovered that my bellybutton is the center of the universe.
But that sounds impossible! How did you ever discover such a thing?
Well, it began in guard camp when I had to be measured for my uniform. The instructor managed to find my navel, hidden by a shirt, twice in a row, not being off by even a fraction of an inch. I have proceeded to test this on many diverse individuals. Eventually, I concluded that I possess a gravitational pull that spirals inward towards my core. Using geometric and vertex interpolation, I have concluded that all things in the universe are moving directly away from the point where my navel was to exist at the time of my birth. In conclusion, upon the date predicted by the Mayas, the entire universe shall implode, returning to my bellybutton.
...
Are you high?
Nope. I have pie-charts!
OH! That changes everything! You heard it here, folks! We are all destined for an apocalyptic nightmare within the confines of Kris Reizer's navel. Back to you, Mark! Fransisco, give the fox his curtains.
Thank you, Mark. I'm standing here with the amazing Kris Reizer in an exclusive interview to determine just what his fantastic announcement could be. Kris?
...
Exclusive interview, my ass. Get out of my bathroom.
Oh, what lovely wallpaper you have in here?
Ah! Don't you just love it? See how it matches the tile perfe- waaait a minute! That won't work on me! You're trying to grab my interest by getting me to talk about interior design! Bah! Begone with you!
Oh, please? We'll give you a Persian rug with matching curtains!
...
Glittery curtains?
Gaudier than Siegfried and Roy.
Score!
All right, what do ya wanna know?
Well, we were hoping to get the inside scoop on your shocking news.
Ah, an easy question, Ms. Beeswax. You see-
Er, my name is-
Like I was saying, Ms. Beeswax. I have made a fascinating new discovery in the field of gravitational physics. I have discovered that my bellybutton is the center of the universe.
But that sounds impossible! How did you ever discover such a thing?
Well, it began in guard camp when I had to be measured for my uniform. The instructor managed to find my navel, hidden by a shirt, twice in a row, not being off by even a fraction of an inch. I have proceeded to test this on many diverse individuals. Eventually, I concluded that I possess a gravitational pull that spirals inward towards my core. Using geometric and vertex interpolation, I have concluded that all things in the universe are moving directly away from the point where my navel was to exist at the time of my birth. In conclusion, upon the date predicted by the Mayas, the entire universe shall implode, returning to my bellybutton.
...
Are you high?
Nope. I have pie-charts!
OH! That changes everything! You heard it here, folks! We are all destined for an apocalyptic nightmare within the confines of Kris Reizer's navel. Back to you, Mark! Fransisco, give the fox his curtains.
YAAAAY!! BLISTERING DEATH!
General | Posted 18 years agoWell, everyone! (like anyone will read this...) It's time, once again to go out and walk around a field in the hottest part of the summer for hours and hours! What could such a torture be called, you ask? Why, band camp, of course! And soon I shall see the beauteous trees cast off their earthly shells and become rainbows.
...
What? Didn't you know trees are made of rainbows? Stick with me, my duckies, and you'll all sorts of things!
...
What? Didn't you know trees are made of rainbows? Stick with me, my duckies, and you'll all sorts of things!
