A couple years ago, I had a nightmare that my family and I were stopped in traffic by armed christian soldiers, who took us out of the car and walked us into a concentration camp. Things like the recent Orlando shooting scare me because I never felt my dream was too far off from the truth considering our countries history of things like Japanese concentration camps around the time of pearl harbor, or the heavy amounts of violence during the rise of black civil rights. I worry that with the rise of lgbt civil rights breakthroughs in the US lately, christian bigots will get more and more aggressive about the fact that their outdated views are losing their grip on our culture. We've already had (thankfully failed) presidential candidate Ted Cruz paling around with a preacher who wants the gays put to death, all year murders of transgender people in 2015, all sorts of violent threats in response to transgender bathroom usage and now this shooting by a man documented to have a history of homophobia...

*sighs*

This is why I have an issue with certain organized religions, particularly christianity - rather than keep to them-self, many are trying to enforce their views on others, including any children they have. I would like to see people stop indoctrinating their children and peers with harmful and dangerous ideas about their bodies, gender, sexuality and the world around them. I'd like to see a world where lgbt people can feel safe and respected... someday...

All you lovely little gayfolk and transgenders be safe out there, okay?

*ahem* hello all of you fine furry folks. In lieu of recent events, I feel I need to have a word with some of you...

For those of you I have cut contact with, It was intentional. I have been needing to do a purge of people whom have been toxic and harmful to me (and this isn't the first time, either) , even if we "have been getting along lately". I am finally developing a healthy social life again and do not need to fall back on pointless internet small-talk like I used to, when i felt the internet was the only safe place to be myself - especially when doing so left me at the hands of whiners, annoying pests, and creepy perverts.
If not being able to chit chat with me on the computer is such a huge deal, I'd say you likely need to seek a healthier social life yourself, eh?

I would also like to point out in some cases, I may be avoiding you because *I* was the problem. I have made the bad habit of being an enabler for several folks, always tolerating their abrasive and inappropriate behavior. I no longer want to be the reason for some people thinking their poor behavior is acceptable.

And, *scoffs* if you can't figure out why I possibly wouldn't want to speak with you anymore, have a few examples:

-talking shit about my beloved
-sending creepy notes and comments to my beloved
-constantly beating me upside the head with your obnoxious my little pony obsession
- making unwelcome sexual comments
-wanting me to 'fool around' with you behind my at-the-time-boyfriend's back
-writing incredibly hurtful journals about me...because I didn't like an episode of a freaking tv show
-claiming to be my friend while you toss around terms like "fag" and "dick-girl" and "queer"
-trying to convince me on a daily basis that feminists are trying to destroy video games and/or eat your babies
-boring me to death rambling about stuff I'm clearly not very interested in

...i could go on, but the point is, fuck you people. I don't need your drama, negativity or creepiness. I have a wonderful new girlfriend,  AshleyFableBlack and it's been a exhilarating change in my life to go from being quiet a quiet, reclusive, self-hating computer nerd to an active, sociable, happy half of a wonderful relationship (but rest assured, I am still very much a computer nerd *smirks*)

This doesn't mean I'm leaving FA, though heck knows, I haven't been very active here in the first place. This does mean, however, I'm not really available for little skype chats about your boring fursona or cutesie rp nonsense anymore. I am still here to occasionally share my silly little drawings, in hopes that someone will find them fun or interesting. I'm pretty tired, so this may a bit sloppy, but I needed to get this put out there. -waves her hand- soo, good enough, i say.

A kind lady I know,  letrune, is struggling to afford her transition costs, So i though I'd help spread the word. https://www.gofundme.com/letrunetg

I am not sure if her icon will show up here, but her fa page should go by the same name, in theory...

Also, I dislike gnats. They've somehow gotten into the apartment and are all up in my personal space now. Gah!!

I got this neat looking Half-Life mod, but it is multiplayer based, and I'd been hoping to get a friend to play with.

As a heads up, it unfortunately is not available for Mac.

I probably should have posted this sooner but I am a scatter-brain. Anyway, the ToeJam & Earl guys want to do a new game, they've got a kickstarter ending soon, and i wanted to help spread the word :)

https://www.kickstarter.com/project.....-in-the-groove

So it's 2015 now and soon all the furries will cry about Valentines day! oh boy!

I am trying to get myself back into drawing...no, completing my drawings. I've actually got a sketch pad I've been doodling in at work all this time but lack of patience, comfort and confidence has kept me from finishing anything.

I've been trying to do a lot more cartoonish stuff because over 2014 I fell in love with the animation and art of John R. Dilworth, John K, (of Ren & Stimpy fame) and Jhonen Vasquz (apparently I think have a thing for j names?) and it's been very inspiring to me. It's just so fun to look at! To that end I'd been trying to revive my dusty old Joykill comic, with new characters and make it my main comic. I never really went anywhere with that old celestial one and the original script i wrote for it is just...outdated. I don't see why I can't create a comic universe of both humor and serious tone together.

*scratches head* so what else is new...hormones are still awesome and make me happy! and I AM SO EXCITED FOR KILLING FLOOR 2! It's supposed to release whenever this year and I look forward to MORE meaty bloody sadistic fun violence with sharp objects and exploding gun things! yay! *throws confetti*

*waves* So I guess that's it for now! I'll try to actually be active here again!

Hi folks! I am still alive, yes. *wipes the dust off my journal box* And I've got things to share! losers to offend! keyboards to wear out by obsessively proofreading and re-typing my own journals 30 times before I post them! So!

for those who haven't heard about this: http://www.repeal119.com/

The creeps won the vote, got their way. yaada yadda yadda...A few thoughts to share on the matter.*cracks knuckles*

-when one group of people terrorizes another group of people (whom have been minding their own business) for probably, a good chunk of human history; with murder,defamation, and denying them equal treatment under the law...and one of their victims calls them out on their bad behavior... It is not "being a hypocritical brat", it is speaking up to your oppressors. As soon as I start beating up Christians, committing vandalism, and posting hateful lies on big purple signs all over town, you can call me a hypocritical brat - not to say I haven't been a hypocrite or a brat during certain points my life, who hasn't? But standing up to your oppressors isn't either of these things.

All this occurred simply because I *asked* some folks if it was legal to remove signs that spread false and harmful information as well as intimidate every decent person who is just going to the store for milk and eggs....asked. I didn't plan on doing something brash without knowing the law first, especially knowing that people would twist it around to further vilify trans people in Fayetteville. That said, my only remorse would have been for the people vilified, because like Rosa Parks didn't worry about the selfish feelings of the racist who told her to move from her seat, I don't care about the selfish feelings of people who might get my friends killed with all these lies.

-with that out of the way...It is wonderful to see folks I know around town lifting their voices and speaking out, offering encouragement and support to one another. and those of you who refrain from sugar-coating your thoughts on hatemongers...I especially like you guys *smirk* these clowns need to hear it like it is, not some doormat-like "oh, but their baseless opinions are valid too! What about how you freaky trans people make THEM feel?" *hurk*

So there is some good I'm seeing, in that it was a close vote, meaning that at-least Fayetteville is almost evenly divided between horrible and decent people, hoping those numbers will continue to shift. I also hear word that another chance to vote...er, because this is something that is somehow up to a majority vote..*shakes her head* might come around soon. here's hoping...

or you know, the people in charge could just grow a spine and treat us like human beings.

It's been a nice summer so far. At the end of June, my friend Ty came to visit for a week, and we had a lot of fun. We explored town more, and had a lot of fun at places such as the movie theater, bowling alley, mini-golf, and the mall. The Lego Movie and How to train your dragon 2 were both nice movies. We played lots of games together, and Mcnus and I finally got Ty into Killing Floor, hehehe. I got to make a goofy Mii of myself and fumble through Wii sports with Ty one night. that was a hilariously good time. I introduced Ty to Little Big Planet as well, unfortunately we didn't get to play too much of it (also, that tv was way too dark). maybe we can play more next time.

This week,  Dratis and I went up meet my new doctor so I can get started on my hormone therapy. We had a bit of trouble getting there, but it was a very pretty drive through mostly rural farmlands. Afterwards we had a yummy lunch at a local buffet, and on the way home, sung a fun song together, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_5fwEUJzK0

I'd been afraid to start hormones for a long time, from things like financial concerns and some disturbing things people have said in the past to me about it. Night before I started, I ended up having nightmares and didn't sleep all night, but now on the second day, I'm feeling more relaxed. I'm happy and proud of myself for taking another big step. I want to thank all my friends for all your support over the years, especially my big sis  AshleyFableBlack

For anyone here who plays on my miencraft server world, we are working transferring to a new host, and I will give you the address when it is ready.v The server is currently offline for this reason.

and an important note: Right now, I am doing some work with mcedit on the server world. I am seeing something troublesome in the editor. It may be nothing, but the player data is not showing up for some reason. Worst case scenario, this may mean that the server will treat us as if we have just joined the world when it re-launches. I can replace almost any lost items, but my question is: was anyone carrying something extra important when they last played?

Hello everyone in internet-land! It's been a while. I do miss drawing, and will try to get some newstuff uploaded soon..we've recently gotten a bigger home, and a new family member here. Very kind fellow, and he makes my big sis very happy *smiles*

I was also FINALLY relieved of a horrible discrimination burden in a certain place...after over a year of health-endangering discrimination, as well as excessive harassment. yaaaay. mixed feelings on that one...but if nothing else it was all a good reminder of who my real friends are.

And I don't really have all that much more to share (because to be honest a certain person just really soured my mood), other than I had a nice walk today, enjoyed watching the minecraft documentary i got with Jami, and I hope my sis Ashley has a better day tomorrow than her crappy day today. I'd like to hear how you all have been doing as well. Take care and don't forget, every day is punch-a-homophobe day! (I'm serious *grits teeth* )

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects.....the-video-game I was really hoping to see this live, especially after my big disappointment of the James Pond kickstarter not making it. I thought I'd share it here if anyone else is interested in supporting the project.

...but realistically, the depressing fact is that generic gray macho military games (not that these are bad games, per se, but I quickly lost interest because it all looks the same and attracts the same Neanderthal macho BS crowd) sell like hot cakes while many fun, quirky franchises seem to be often forgotten or rebooted for "todays audiences" -something I like about these 2 game projects. James Pond was going to be the same cheeky, colorful, British plat-former full of dorky puns, Boogermans playful and juvenile personality and world haven't been watered down or "made "edgier" for today's kids. They were/are for the original fans and it shows.

anyhow, it looks like both games won't make it and that really sucks. But what doesn't suck? I went to the Equality Ball last night and it was very nice. Felt like I was finally enjoying the high school prom experience I was denied due to all my fears growing up (and could have very well been kicked out of those proms for being trans, anyway). Got to see lots of folks from my support group - oh, I had joined a support group by the way, heh - and didn't have too much trouble tolerating all the "fancy and elegant" nonsense *laughs* Those fancy pants foods were actually pretty good. Stuffed mushrooms...yum!

They DID throw away my 50 dollar cupcake though...that is one fancy pants tradition I've always loathed. What is so "classy" about going behind your customers back and throwing away their meal without asking? I DEMAND ANSWERS!

Just figured I'd put a notice here, that My server is back, and we're having a Halloween get-together right now! It has a new address, so note me if you're interested. Please note that this is a private friends-only server so you need to be someone I know and can trust.

and eventually I should post a real journal...I know I've been VERY inactive here.

This is a notice just to let everyone know I am doing some maintenance on the Minecraft server (making backup copies of peoples homes, etc). I will post another journal when it is ready to play again. Special thanks again to Ola for hosting for me.

I'm back from my trip, and I had a great time seeing everyone again. My uncles memorial went nicely as well, and I was able to bring back some more of my possessions on the way home, such as my PS2. Next week my freind Ty will be visiting, which I'm very excited for. x3

I'm also happy to announce my Minecraft world is now a server where friends can also join. ^^ For now it's being hosted by Mcnus, on his little laptop. We're not sure how many players at once it can handle, but it seems to do well with 3 so far. Ty has offered to host it later, when he has his server set up again, and it will more powerful, then. Any friends interested in joining, I can note you the ip - which might change from time to time, Mcnus said, so he or I can keep you updated.

For those I haven't told, on April 16th I lost my uncle to suicide. Someone have left me a message simply saying "I'm sorry for your loss" and I had no idea who or how many that meant, it kept me up most of the night and I finally found out the next morning.

Even if I wasn't there to witness and never saw his body, it makes me feel like I failed him somehow. I've never lost someone to suicide before and it's different than losing them to, for example, death by old age. I miss him. but I also feel something akin to guilt. Did we not talk enough? Was everyone's love not enough to pull him through his struggles? I still haven't heard what was on his suicide note, my only clue being that his health problems were possibly worsening.

He was part of the small collection of the friends and family who didn't react with ignorance, hostility, or coldness in my transitioning. Long before I even came out, he was always standing up to my mother about her anti-glbt attitude. When I was younger he and I had a lot of fun together. We loved goofing around, playing video games, going around doing all sorts of stuff. He was a big fan of wrestling, video games and karaoke parties. Over the last few years he came by a lot less often, which was saddening, but now I see it could have been due to depression or health issues. I got to see him before my move which I'm now very grateful for. Unlike some others I've lost recently, at-least I was able to be true and genuine with him in our last days together.

His memorial is coming up soon so I will be returning to my hometown for it. This is both exciting and frightening for me. My immediate family claims to have improved but I won't know for sure until I see how they act in person. When I first moved away I suffered a lot of loneliness and depression, especially missing my little sister, who appeared in my dreams every night for several months. Even when before my move, many people were ignorant and disrespectful to my wishes for acceptance. I fear for confrontations and ostracization, and have thankfully secured a safe place to stay if anything goes wrong. I've still got a long way to go in my transition but I am told I'm more confident now, and it's a huge relief to have accurate identification on most of my legal papers now, too. My birthday went by recently, as well, while i was initially very lonely on the day, things got better when i got a card from my friends daughter and my family took me out to dinner. we had a really nice time. This upcoming trip should be an interesting adventure.

Cripes, 5 months, that might be record, but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm wrong...

So, some things have been getting in my neck of the woods, while other nagging issues still remain.

For those who don't know, my name is finally legalized! It's a bit strange seeing the internalized sense of self I've always had actually being recognized on computers and documents. My body isn't even changing yet and I'm already experiencing the weird emotions of transitioning..it's a doozy. but I'm already feeling more complete as well. My next step will be some electrolysis appointments, a gift from my wonderful big sis.

Also, being the wishy washy dork I am, I only just RECENTLY got myself a bed. I didn't realize it would be so cheap, i was expecting like, a thousand bucks...then 400...but no! thing only cost like like, what, 230? Everything always seems really intimidating when you're first striking it out on your own. Really nice to find out not everything's as scary as it looked when you were a kid.
And it's funny...just adding a bed and side table..my room feels so much less lonely now. Furniture. a bunch of wood, metal and cloth. but it's comforting and makes the room feel secure and welcoming. It makes me feel much more at home here, compared to the "I'm intruding" feeling that had nagged at me for quite a long while.

In other news I've finally gotten to see the original Tron, a bit rough on the eyes (very jarring colors but that was the intended visual style) but a fun little movie, and wow, I have a lot of respect for all the special effects work they put into that...would have just been a bunch of quick and easy CGI nowadays. *laughs* I can see that some of my favorite games share some similar themes and in some cases were probably inspired-by the film as well. The virtual maps in Timesplitters, as well as the visuals and situations in the Half-Life universe, especially the citadel.

Well, it's a beautiful day out, I ought to go out and enjoy it for a bit. Take care everyone *waves*

So, yesterday, I went to see wreck it Ralph with Jami and our freind December ( unfortunately Ashley didn't make it, hope she gets to see it soon though). I put a spoiler warning though I'm not sure if I'm giving any major spoilers jsut to be safe...but man was it sweet and adorable. It bothers me that some people were only interested because of character cameos. Yes, that can draw you too something (for example I really want the game Clay-fighter 63 1/2 because Earthworm Jim and Booger-man are in it, but also because it's a wacky claymation fighting game and that's an awesome concept), but it seems like a weak argument for somethings quality. That being said, seeing the Sonic scenes in the movie made my inner fan-girl go "Squeee!", but Ralph was the real reason I was interested..he's a big, awkward, emotional, adorable teddy bear man. I can relate to him (a swell as the little girl to a degree, being considered an error ), I'm not a big girl at all *chuckles* but in the sense of how Ralph feels lonely, left out and is tired of being judged by what people expect him to be instead of what's really in his heart. I really disliked the little penthouse people for how they treated him..at-least Felix tries to be good to Ralph, though even he shows some distance and inconsideration. I cried a few times in the movie, to try to avoid spoilers I won't say why, but I just absolutely adore Ralph as a character.

Other than the emotional bonding I enjoyed with the characters, it also had some nice twists I didn't expect, fun music, good laughs, and hits home with my deep-rooted love of the world of video games and all the colorful characters you meet throughout them. I loved the dazzling dispalys of 8 and 16-bit effects the movie used in certain parts too. Video game aesthetics have always been a treat to me, from the psychedelic pixel storm that is Robottron 2084 to the soft dreamy glow of Half-Life 2s landscapes. The credits went full on with this and made for a dazzling display. The people who left the theater early missed out on some great stuff at the end. ^^

In other news, it looks like I'll be stuck working most of Thanksgiving (also my lil sisters birthday! I gotta find her something nice. ) as will Dratis. I'm hoping we can all figure out a way to still have a get-together with our freind for a dinner still. Even if it has to be on another day..I've done it with Christmas before. Felt kinda weird but it's better than being split apart and having a depressing lonely holiday. ^^;

(I'm in a bad mood...you've been warned)

So, in spite of certain ...ugh, issues...the pay at my job is good atleast. I've been able to start re-acquiring the comforts of home, getting more clothes, and fixing up some of my computer issues. I can burn discs again! Also expecting another shipment of my stuff soon.

I found out at the last minute, we can wear costumes for Halloween...while I didn't have my tail back yet, I put on a fun Halloweeen-themed outfit and used my fox ears and makeup to make a quick fox costume. I think it came out ok, for a rush job. and I had a wonderful morning with my big sis taking photos, and getting a bit stuck in our backyard tree. Of what memories I have gathered so far of this new home, it may be my favorite thus far. Sitting in the tree talking to my sister, enjoying the surprisingly gorgeous, warm weather that day...

So that's something to smile about. She's not home right now, I enjoy my solitude but things can get lonely at times. I miss both my big and little sister, and Jami has been a wonderful help in many ways.


...Still. I have to say....holy sugar honey ice tea. I'm so sick of the frigging morons in everything from my fandom sto my hobbies to even my own minority . After a long day of work, I fired up Killing Floor (they've got a Halloween event going on), joined a randoms server and was greeted with "yay a fem. lol. there is a probability it is a trap though"

Wow.

are you serious? you greet a female like shes joined the game to be some sort of sexy distraction for you, and as if that isn't pathetic and off-putting enough, THEN you proceed to imply that shes some sort of screwed-up freak impersonating a trans/woman to rape someone, or whatever you people think a "hawt trap" is?! And don't even consider that the person could actually really be transgendered, and your little "joke" is a trigger for dozens of horrible memories - not that you would even know the difference between this stupid little "trap" thing and a transwoman. in your little world, anyone different than you is just some "fag" or "whore", right? I'm betting on yes.


did your parents never spank you? did you have a bowl of crap-for-brain-oats for breakfast? why havent you been beaten within an inch of your life yet by someone you know for your nasty little attitude? Is everyone around you some kind of pansy who is intimated by an illiterate, bigoted, 5 year old? sheeeesh!

This http://www.igda.org/newsletter/2012.....or-decent-men/ sums up the issue pretty well,but leaves me in a state of frustration - the idea that they won't listen to their victims but only perceived equals...they are just that freaking shallow. As far as I can tell this is true, because almost any time i have have had the "sheer audacity" to *gasp* criticize someones behavior on sites like this I usually get a response that could easily win you the "biggest personality-lacking loser of the century award" Golden classics include "ok butt-head" "wtf" and of course "yiff in hell". All very mature, productive, well thought-out, unique contributions to an intelligent adult conversation...I assume that even the perceived equals would get the same kind of response, but the mind of a <i>complete moron</i> is a puzzling thing to me so..what do I know? *shrugs*

*claps her hands together*

Wow, that felt really good.

You know, about that article...The only part of Jay and Silent Bob strikes back I liked was the ending *snickers* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l1_8wefR7c. I don't think it's exactly what the article has in mind...buuut...I miss the days when multiplayer was split-screen gaming, you were safe from the brain-rotting agony of prissy little losers, and if you DID get stuck playing against one, you could always slap him upside the head for being such a huge jerk.

I'm really rambling now but that's what journals are for no? I made glazed carrots the other day. Good stuff. I highly recommend glazed carrots. I do prefer to end things on a positive note, even if it's just about how good a certain delicacy both tastes AND is for you (well its water-logged in brown sugar but it's still a carrot, hey...)*dances around* Anger release feels great! Firs the joy of cooking and now this! Oh happy day! Night! whatever! with nocturnal roommates, it's all relative.

oh yeah, and this is awesome. It has so much relevance to my daily life now, too. *smirks* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsBN9lvmjac&feature=plcp

Last week I got hired for the clothing department at Wal-Mart, but since then I'm still doing computer-based learning. which is taking a whiiiile, but some of it is fun and uplifting stuff, atleast. And I'm being paid for it, so no complaints there! And though I'm going from a 4-6 hour shift job to a 10 hour shift job, I get 3 breaks a day so it all evens out.
It's so nice to be able to buy stuff guilt-free again. I got some new games at one of the local retro stores, and once I've saved up some more I should be able to fix some of my computer issues and furnish my bedroom more.

I got my first set of packages shipped over, best of including my computer and shoes! (with the colder weather coming ill want boots more than sneakers) as well as a portion of my game collection returning safely to me. I feel a lot better having my own computer back and boredom is never an issue anymore , hehe. games keep making my fan loud though which makes me feel bad cuz besides not being good for the computer, I'm sure, I worry the noise is annoying to my roommates. :/ I need to actually free up enough space on the thing to be able to safely do a backup before i dust it out again. maybe it got all weird inside during shipment, I dunno. o.o

I haven't been able to change my name yet, I'm still working on legal stuff to avoid silly accusations of fraud and stuff beforehand. fun times!! (yes that was VERY much sarcasm my lovelies)


Also, Instead of abusing myself with Ramen and instant mashed potatoes 24/7, I took on the recommendation to start trying to cook real meals ^^ it's fun and like discovering a whole new art form. So far I made beans and rice and chicken-spaghetti both of which turned out real yummy in my opinion. ^^

ok, I've been trying to come up with some kind of journal since ive got here, as I said I would, but I'm always either busy, lazy or upset ^^; so it's taken a while...

well I've been here for a little over a week now. The ride over well, reminded me of why I hate airplanes so damn much, including a 3 hour delay, but i just hate being on the things themselves too - the stupid engines are so loud that i can't even listen to my mp3 player to pass the time, so what I basically i get is an 1-2 hours (x3 flights) of claustrophobic, socially awkward ear-ringing do-nothing. fuuun. ooogh...but yeah when i FINALLY arrived, jami and i then enjoyed waiting for probably 50 years and 23 minutes til my clothing returned safely into my skinny little arms from the magic luggage horking machine. yay! we proceeded to this place "waffle house" that Ashley had many praises for, and it was a nice little place. It even had it's own dorky theme songs. yes, songS. a whole album of songs about hash browns and waffles. x3

then we got home, which was at first exciting, its a nice little place, soft carpeting in almost every room, 2 bathrooms and my bedroom is quite large. After the initial excitement I not surprisingly succumbed to the reality that I was half way across the country from the only home i really knew and...had a bad time. but Ashley and Jami stayed up with me the whole time to make sure I was safe. ^^ they both took me out and treated me to nice things at Wal-mart such too, where I got to meet one of Ashley friends briefly.

since then I've been more stable for the most part, gotten myself a computer desk and rolly-polly officey chair for it. Ashley has provided me with an air mattress and some shelf thingies..other than that, ive got little more than some clothes. Which is one of the things driving me bonkers...still waiting for m items to be shipped over, i cant wait to ahve my own computer back especially, using someone elses computer is like borrowing someones clothing. its just...awkward and feels like a personal intrusion. for me at least.

Still, with the continued lack of my own thingies I'm trying to keep busy. they've got some fun games, mine craft on the Xbox, been catching up on drawings (if I get permission to use the scanner you'll probably get mroe art outta me in one month than you've gotten for years XD), done some bicycling (lovely little bike trails here), stayed up watching futurama with yummy lava-cheese dip ashley made til thy fell asleep (and yeeeeeee they are adorable all cuddled up on the couch).

as for my further transitioning, right now I'm working on my name change so I can go job hunting, and I'll hopefully be able to start HRT before my body is too old for it to work well :( I am gonna have to, at some point, go through the annoying process of excessive hair removal too. that will probably require a steady income first as well, however.

ok, so I figured for those who don't know I'm escaping to my new home tomorrow ^_^ My computer is being shipped, dunno how long that will take, but I'll still be around a little cuz my freind said i can use his lappy in the meantime. expect a longer journal once im settled in, cuz right now im mega busy. I love you buh bye!

Stuff happened!

birthday coming soon..I am NOT looking forward to a party with none of my buddies but abusive parents instead, but i just gotta remember that my friends online and over-the-phone are still here to help get me through these hard times. Some of my friends are sending me gifts, thank you so much in advance -but the best part is I'll have people to talk to if things get bad. ^^

Last week I got invited to a co-workers going away dinner. I'm gonna miss her but it was a nice time. I got to feel free to speak around the cc-workers I've known for so long, and wore a pretty top in public for the first time in a long time. I was really proud of myself for that ^^ the food was great, and I tried a sip of 3 "grown up" drinks. x3 the first one BURNED, but the second one just tasted odd, and the third was sweet, and nice and blue looking. They all had a bizarre aftertaste though, I still don't see any appeal in drinking. on the way home, my freind Joe, who was my driver, brought me to get some burger king, too. :) he's so sweet.

The next day I got to see my freind Tina and Steffen again, whom had moved away but were around for her graduation. We watched some things I didn't entirely enjoy, especially the movie mouse hunt. I really need to speak up for myself about when i don't like a movie...it ended up fueling an anxiety attack later that night ^^; but on the bright side - we went to the beach to find sea glass, i wore my cute new skirt there, took some pics, we got super yummy Chinese, and got to watch some discworld cartoons, which while oddly animated (almost kinda like those crazy Zelda CD-I games) were hilarious and cute. :)

on Memorial Day, I got another creep harassing me at work, instead of dirty old man jenkins, i get some middle aged creepy guy on a bike asking my gender, if I'm wearing wig, then where I live, and how i get to work... ._. then I asked him if he needed anything and he said "I just wanted to make sure you actually work here"

<i>no, sir. I clearly do not work here. Anyone can clearly see that I'm just a bald, wig-wearing girl who made my own company hat and false name-tag so I could live out my fantasies of pushing carriages around and bagging peoples groceries when the managers weren't looking. </i>

OBVIOUSLY. >8(

so at this point i walk away and he starts following me with a creepy stare, and to make matters worse, some crazy woman buts in, trying to play hero, and is extremely rude to me as i try to explain the situation and calmly go to the call the police myself, but she absolutely needs to take over and "help" the person she has been both not listening to and insulting. -.-; The police chased him off and I hadn't seem him since, but I've started carrying my weapon with me again for sure ^^; I might consider self-defense classes too.

so yeah! birthday in 2 days, hopefully moving soon, to get out of this crazy place. ^^; I may also get to visit an old freind, which would be great. :)

...Hey, Notches birthday is close to Mine. x3 mine? get it? *crickets* :3

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/vid...../5436-Not-Okay

Been a while hasn't it? 4 months, geez....Well first and foremost, this video made me VERY happy because when I think of fringe cultures where it is generally taboo to criticize something that is wrong, because it's the norm (and that makes it ok! weasel stomping day!) ...I think of FA..deviantart..youtube... anyway, I'll let the video speak for itself, and actually make this a journal about me instead of a journal about how disgusted I am with some conduct I've seen on this site lately..*glares* >.>

ok so new stuff in my life....family situation hasn't improved much, still stuck living here, but still LOVE Minecraft, been playing more little big planet lately too...gosh that game is so darn cute! ^_^ *sneezes violently and falls out of her chair* ow. I'm still trying to improve my sleeping habits , that is, actually sleep at more reasonable hours. I've got a Wii now, but no games still. XP and my job has been very nice lately, They've recently decided to start letting me use the ladies room which after getting over the initial fear of random beatings and/or sexual harassment, has made me feel a lot safer and happier there. ^^

Also, my awesome freind Tina moved away, so it's pretty lonely now, my only local freind left is  Rowencia, but hopefully I'll get to see her more often, since she often doesn't have the gas to visit or has to work to visit. I'm hoping we could perhaps start attending more RI fur meets together, so i can have a social life outside of chatting in the break room at work again ^^;
Because the computer is fun, but not healthy 24/7... Assuming I can learn to enjoy the fur meets because well...back to the link I posted....furries. >:I

And that's all I can think of to blab at ya, folks! hugs and kisses! cookies and milkshakes! Hope you are all doing well...as..well...*questions that grammar*

Oogle, I forgot to post this next part of the journal for quite some time now. Well, here goes.

I wanted to wait to share these other things later, because they just don't belong in a journal like that.

Anyway, barely a week after leaving Maine and returning home, we got news of.....yup, a big ol hurricane. Well, that was another big experience for me. Not only did my silly job have me work in it (so that after punching out i got to drive in floods, downed trees and power lines, and flying debris :p ) - which, since i didn't get hurt, was actually exciting to drive through, dangerous as it was. But then after getting home, i showered, then started talking on the phone with Ashley when the powered flickered out. no big deal, right? it would probably be back by the next day at the most.

well it didn't come back online for like 5 days, and that was pretty much all of Rhode Island. at-least all the parts around me. It was...really weird. Sure, I was lonely without being able to contact my friends, but it was like living in an apocalyptic scenario. smashed trees everywhere, the hum of power generators set up in the yards of more fortunate individuals. days weren't too horrible, evenings stung my eyes so i always went to bed early, and i was lucky enough for my mp3 player to finally run out of juice on the very last day before the power was restored. I rediscovered the joy of reading my old Sonic comics and other books again, and at-least made progress on some art. Thankfully the local pizza place was running on a generator so my little sis and I went out to eat every night, too. My sister and I also liked walking down to the docks and enjoying the strange sight of dark buildings everywhere.
It all just goes to show, that with the right attitude you can turn a problem into an adventure. ^^

Though, don't get me wrong, I was getting depressed from missing my friends and having to ration my music intake. x3

Now also, on another note. If any of you have a myfur.net account I joined it a while ago. It didn't seem like anything special, but I liked that I could upload my own music playlists if nothing else. XP I'm not as active as I first was, but I still occasionally pop on there.

And also,  dratis bought me minecraft! and it is sooo fun, oh my God. One of the most addictive games I've played in a while. x3 I recently got a Wii as well ^^